Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:03,621
♪♪
2
00:00:06,587 --> 00:00:09,587
All right, gentlemen,
and I use that word
quite sarcastically,
3
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:12,260
it's time
to lighten your wallets
with a game called poker.
4
00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,843
Poker!
5
00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:17,644
Okay, let that be
the only new word
she learns tonight, got it?
6
00:00:17,638 --> 00:00:19,018
Got it.
7
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,599
So, should we start
with a little five-card stud?
8
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,271
Stud!
9
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:23,813
(laughs) Sorry.
10
00:00:25,446 --> 00:00:27,906
All right,
the buy-in is 20 bucks.
11
00:00:27,908 --> 00:00:31,198
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Condoms
instead of chips?
12
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:34,252
Look, we are not giving you
20 bucks for condoms.
13
00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:37,245
We can steal these
for free from your room.
14
00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:38,918
Well, I'm tired
of supporting your habit.
15
00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:42,459
From now on, if you wanna
get laid, I've gotta get paid.
16
00:00:42,463 --> 00:00:44,883
Hey, I don't think anyone
should use this one.
17
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:46,165
There's a bunch
of tiny holes in it.
18
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:47,837
Wait, same with these.
19
00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:51,298
And this one.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
20
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,262
They all
have holes in them!
21
00:00:53,264 --> 00:00:55,064
We've been using
these condoms.
22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,095
Do you know
what this means?
23
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,017
Uh-oh!
24
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:01,270
You heard the girl,
start panicking!
25
00:01:01,272 --> 00:01:04,282
(theme music playing)
26
00:01:04,275 --> 00:01:07,315
♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪
27
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:10,448
♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪
28
00:01:13,994 --> 00:01:16,504
I checked them all,
they all have holes in them.
29
00:01:16,497 --> 00:01:20,907
So all three of our girlfriends
might be pregnant?
30
00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:23,541
See, man, this is what happens
when you buy condoms in bulk.
31
00:01:24,545 --> 00:01:27,205
You have babies in bulk!
32
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,338
Oh, I can't breathe!
33
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,210
Well, isn't this just perfect?
34
00:01:31,212 --> 00:01:33,092
Sam and I are finally together,
and now our next date
35
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,273
is gonna be dinner, movie,
and an ultrasound.
36
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:37,557
But what about me, man?
37
00:01:37,558 --> 00:01:39,348
"Oh, hey, Renee, I wasn't sure
38
00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,310
"what to get you
for our one-month anniversary,
39
00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:44,282
so I got you a baby!"
40
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:46,025
What are we gonna do?
41
00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:47,396
I guess we'll just
have to tell them.
42
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:48,728
No, about my breathing!
43
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:51,359
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why would we tell
them something
44
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,402
when there might be
nothing to tell?
45
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,334
Right? I mean,
it's only a problem
46
00:01:55,326 --> 00:01:57,446
if someone is
actually pregnant.
47
00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,238
He's right.
48
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,290
There might be nothing
to worry about.
49
00:02:01,292 --> 00:02:02,332
We just gotta find a way
50
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:03,203
for them to take
a pregnancy test
51
00:02:03,204 --> 00:02:04,674
without them knowing.
52
00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,415
I'd help you think of stuff,
53
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,667
but there's no blood
in my brain right now.
54
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,800
Which is exactly how
I got in this situation
55
00:02:11,802 --> 00:02:14,562
in the first place.
56
00:02:17,718 --> 00:02:19,018
Is there a non-creepy,
57
00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:20,259
non-suspicious way
to ask a girl
58
00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:21,681
to pee on a stick for you?
59
00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:23,602
No... no, but look.
60
00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:26,324
There is a test you can take
using just saliva.
61
00:02:26,317 --> 00:02:28,227
Oh, oh, saliva? I'm in!
62
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:29,649
Do mine first.
63
00:02:32,032 --> 00:02:34,332
Yeah, he especially
should not be having a baby.
64
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:35,535
Yeah, no.
65
00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:39,408
No, Danny, I can't leave work
in the middle of the day
66
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,410
to help you lick envelopes.
67
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:46,253
All right. I'll see you tonight.
68
00:02:46,247 --> 00:02:47,287
Love you.
69
00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:48,838
Aw. I know you do.
70
00:02:48,839 --> 00:02:50,919
Wish I could say it back.
71
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,461
So, why am I here?
72
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:55,353
Okay, so the partners
finally gave me an assistant--
73
00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:57,466
Here you are, Ms. Perrin,
74
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,718
the affidavits
for the Murphy case
you requested,
75
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,470
coffee, black, two sugars,
and a reminder
76
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,062
that your meeting starts
in five minutes.
77
00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:05,403
Uh, actually, I asked
for the Torkelson file,
78
00:03:05,396 --> 00:03:09,306
I drink tea, and my meeting
started two hours ago.
79
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:13,070
Right. Uh,
the Harrison file,
soy latte,
80
00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:15,323
and gather everyone
in the conference room
for your meeting.
81
00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:21,029
Wow.
82
00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:23,701
Does that kind
of incompetence
come with a helmet?
83
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,334
He has got to go.
84
00:03:25,326 --> 00:03:28,536
I know. I know. All right,
that's why I wanted to talk
to you.
85
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:33,209
I just don't have your kind
of cruel, heartless,
go-for-the-throat--
86
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,223
Stop it,
you're making me blush.
87
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:41,506
Okay, it's simple.
You just have to be
direct, okay?
88
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,342
Roger,
can I see you, please?
89
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:44,444
Oh, no, no, what are you doing?
90
00:03:44,435 --> 00:03:47,185
-I can't.
-Yes. You can.
91
00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:50,557
Just pretend he's a cupcake,
and eat him alive!
92
00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:56,662
Roger, Ms. Perrin has some
unfortunate news for you.
93
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:58,487
What is it, Ms. Perrin?
94
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:02,319
Uh, Roger, um, I just--
I was just thinking that...
95
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:06,083
(muttering, whimpering)
96
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,753
Hey! You got a minute?
97
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,684
I'm just trying out
some new appetizers.
What do you think?
98
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:21,548
Oh, my God,
it's disgusting.
99
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,972
Yeah, I thought
it was gross, too.
100
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:24,523
Here, go ahead, spit it out.
101
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:27,225
All of it. Even the saliva.
102
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:35,402
(snoring softly)
103
00:04:44,865 --> 00:04:47,285
(gags, coughs)
104
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:51,539
Huh? Danny...
Danny, wake up.
105
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,082
What's wrong, babe?
106
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,383
I was just choking on this,
this was in my mouth.
107
00:04:55,376 --> 00:04:58,256
Well, you were snoring
pretty hard,
108
00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:00,298
maybe you sucked it in
from the bathroom.
109
00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:11,430
(knocking)
110
00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:13,602
Roger? What are
you doing here?
111
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,444
Ms. Perrin has
a client meeting this morning,
112
00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:17,776
and I gave her
the wrong case files
yesterday before she left.
113
00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,608
-Where's the meeting?
-At our office.
114
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,740
-Where are you coming from?
-The office.
115
00:05:21,742 --> 00:05:23,612
See where I'm going with this?
116
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,454
Oh, my God!
I'm the worst assistant ever.
117
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:29,407
Roger, why don't you
come inside, and we'll
have a little chatty-chat
118
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,710
about your work sitch?
119
00:05:30,711 --> 00:05:33,081
Uh-oh.
120
00:05:34,915 --> 00:05:38,335
Uh-oh? Why did
the little girl
say "Uh-oh"?
121
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,758
Oh, I knew it,
I'm getting fired.
122
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,800
I don't know
what's wrong with me.
123
00:05:41,802 --> 00:05:45,102
Ever since I met the girl
of my dreams, I just haven't
been able to focus.
124
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,805
So, that's why
you've been so bad?
125
00:05:47,808 --> 00:05:49,558
You're in love?
126
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,390
Oh... Roger.
127
00:05:57,938 --> 00:06:00,188
I've always struggled
with confidence.
128
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,860
I try, but it's hard
when no one's ever
believed in you.
129
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,123
But I'm sure
someone like you has no idea
130
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,035
what I'm talking about.
131
00:06:07,037 --> 00:06:11,447
Sure, I'm confident now.
I mean, I could knock you down
132
00:06:11,452 --> 00:06:13,622
and take you right here
on this couch if I wanted to.
133
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:21,258
But you know, Roger,
it wasn't long ago
that I woke up one day
134
00:06:21,261 --> 00:06:24,681
with no husband, no job,
and worst of all,
135
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:27,175
no one around to believe in me.
136
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:29,467
I don't wish that feeling
on anyone.
137
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,560
You know what, Roger?
138
00:06:31,562 --> 00:06:34,222
I am gonna help you
find your confidence.
139
00:06:34,224 --> 00:06:35,984
Just let me
put my granddaughter
down for a nap.
140
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:42,859
See, Emma? Sometimes
we have to do the right thing,
141
00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:44,743
and open our hearts to losers.
142
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:48,616
There we go. Okay.
143
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,290
(gasps) My earring.
144
00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:53,581
I've been looking
all over for this.
145
00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:55,464
Oh, you could've gotten hurt.
146
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,627
Okay, come here, sweets.
147
00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:02,540
Oh... and a condom. Nice.
148
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:03,543
God.
149
00:07:05,546 --> 00:07:09,636
Emma... did you poke holes
in this with Grandma's earring?
150
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:15,061
No, Emma. Never do that.
151
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:17,015
Unless he's a billionaire
or a movie star.
152
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:29,775
Holey condoms, Emma!
You turned these things
into sprinklers!
153
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,632
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no...
154
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,205
Okay, I'm ready
for my first lesson.
155
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,536
Oh, first lesson.
156
00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:39,748
Right, um...
Oh, it's babysitting!
157
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,750
(shrieks)
158
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:44,724
(elevator dings)
159
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,005
Oh, hey, Mom.
160
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:49,426
Big problem. Have you--
Did you-- Don't panic!
161
00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:50,549
I'm gonna take care of it.
162
00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:52,931
(muttering) Oh, yeah.
They're sprinklers,
they got holes...
163
00:07:56,557 --> 00:07:59,097
Must've run out
of wine again.
164
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:02,059
I can't believe
we all struck out
on the saliva test.
165
00:08:02,062 --> 00:08:03,362
What are we gonna do now?
166
00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:04,993
I vote for nothing.
167
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,815
Look, if they're pregnant,
they'll tell us eventually,
168
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,567
and we'll just pretend
we don't know how it happened.
169
00:08:08,569 --> 00:08:11,239
I like it. I'm really good
at not knowing anything.
170
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:16,543
For example, I don't know
who this guy is.
171
00:08:18,378 --> 00:08:20,788
You're probably
all wondering
why I asked you here.
172
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:24,801
Not me. How much
do you need, 40, 50?
173
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,835
Thanks.
174
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:29,677
But that's not
why I'm here.
175
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,390
Have any of you
used one of these condoms
from Ben's room?
176
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:34,773
-Yeah.
-Definitely.
177
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,555
I think so.
178
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,187
Well, that is
a problem then.
179
00:08:39,189 --> 00:08:40,899
Why, is something wrong
with the condoms?
180
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:43,731
No, I'm taking a survey.
Yes, something's wrong
with the condoms.
181
00:08:43,734 --> 00:08:45,494
You all might be pregnant.
182
00:08:45,485 --> 00:08:49,815
(all talking at once)
183
00:08:57,748 --> 00:08:59,418
(timer dings)
184
00:08:59,419 --> 00:09:00,829
-Oh, thank God!
-Perfect!
185
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,501
-Negative!
-Not pregnant!
186
00:09:02,502 --> 00:09:04,252
Dodged that Tucker bullet!
187
00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,724
I'm on the pill,
but you never know.
188
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:10,467
Well, I say we celebrate
with a drink we almost
couldn't have for nine months.
189
00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:13,220
And I know right where
Ben keeps the good stuff.
190
00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:14,683
Ah!
191
00:09:14,675 --> 00:09:18,845
Which is right next to
a saliva pregnancy test.
192
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:24,142
Oh, my God, they knew.
193
00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:27,364
All right. I woke up last night
with a cotton swab in my mouth.
194
00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:29,237
Unbelievable!
195
00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:32,449
You think you know
everything about a person
after four dates,
196
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,362
and then he pulls
something like this.
197
00:09:35,746 --> 00:09:37,996
Well, then maybe
they should know
what it's like,,,
198
00:09:37,998 --> 00:09:40,368
if we were pregnant.
199
00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:46,424
Sorry, Danny,
I just don't feel
like lunch today.
200
00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:48,836
Yeah, I've been nauseous
all morning.
201
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,299
(retches) Oh, no!
202
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,630
Here it comes again!
I gotta go, bye!
203
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,224
Now it's your turn
to feel nauseous.
204
00:09:56,216 --> 00:09:59,636
Hey, hey.
So, what's the verdict?
205
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,890
Not to dramatize,
but are you fertilized?
206
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,534
Nope, negative.
207
00:10:06,526 --> 00:10:09,726
Yeah, which is right in line
with how I feel about men
right now.
208
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,730
So you know what I'm gonna do?
I am going to fire one.
209
00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:16,374
Roger, get your
sweet little ass in here.
210
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,696
Whoa whoa.
You know, Riley,
211
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,790
sometimes people just need
someone to believe in them.
212
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,752
They just need a word
of encouragement or two.
213
00:10:24,745 --> 00:10:27,625
I cannot believe you're drunk
in the middle of the day.
214
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,049
All right. I am firing him.
215
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:33,091
No... No, you can't.
216
00:10:33,093 --> 00:10:34,933
He's the boss's son.
217
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,515
-What?
-Yeah.
218
00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:37,676
My God, really?
219
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:40,098
How did I not know this?
220
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,060
Thank you so much.
You just saved my career.
221
00:10:43,063 --> 00:10:45,943
Hey! Hey you!
222
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,106
Is everything okay?
Am I getting fired?
223
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:51,229
Fired? You?
224
00:10:51,231 --> 00:10:53,651
No! That's...
That's hilarious.
225
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,993
(laughing)
226
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:57,115
So funny!
227
00:10:57,117 --> 00:10:59,197
No, you and me,
we're a team.
228
00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:00,699
All right? We're partners.
229
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,791
Speaking of partners,
I would really like
to be one one day.
230
00:11:04,785 --> 00:11:07,835
But I'm gonna go
to my staff meeting,
231
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,668
which is in room...?
232
00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:13,592
You know what,
I'll find it.
233
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:18,845
Oh, and by the way,
I love that sweater.
So handsome.
234
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,680
Oh, my God!
I get to keep my job!
235
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,402
And... I think she might
love me, too.
236
00:11:25,395 --> 00:11:29,305
Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't
doubt it. Wait, what?
237
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:31,979
Riley is the girl
you're in love with?
238
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,732
Yes, I thought that was clear.
239
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,824
Did you tell me
it was a girl at the office?
240
00:11:35,816 --> 00:11:37,906
-No.
-Did you tell me
it was Riley?
241
00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:39,448
-No.
-See where
I'm going with this?
242
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,044
Aren't you hungry?
243
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,666
Or are you one of those girls
who eats before a date
244
00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:50,498
so you can look like
you hardly eat?
245
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,830
(laughs)
I do that!
246
00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:58,304
I'm just feeling
a little... nauseous.
247
00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:00,218
Nauseous?
248
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,760
You feel nauseous?
249
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,563
Yeah. It usually
only happens
in the morning.
250
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:07,185
I hope I'm not
catching a bug.
251
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:10,938
It might be a bit bigger
than a bug.
252
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:15,202
Hey. What do you feel
like doing after work today?
253
00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:17,615
I think I'm just gonna
go home and lie down.
254
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:19,567
I don't know what's wrong
with me, but my back hurts,
255
00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:22,409
my ankles are swollen,
and even my boobs
are a little sore.
256
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:25,872
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say I was pregnant.
257
00:12:25,866 --> 00:12:28,366
Pregnant?
258
00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:29,958
Ha!
259
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,710
'Cause that calls
for a "Ha!"
260
00:12:32,712 --> 00:12:33,872
Ha...
261
00:12:38,969 --> 00:12:40,089
Oh my, God.
262
00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:43,051
I'm glad
you're feeling better.
263
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,723
I'm starving.
264
00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:46,524
But you know
what I would really love?
265
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:50,016
A peanut butter
and pickle sandwich.
266
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,850
Weird, huh?
267
00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:55,323
So you'd say
you're having a craving?
268
00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:57,565
Yeah! Yeah, I would.
269
00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,575
Riley's pregnant.
270
00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:08,906
-So is Renee.
-I think Sam's pregnant, too.
271
00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:11,959
Okay. Are we about
to high-five or freak out?
272
00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,172
Because I'm leaning
towards freaking out.
273
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,803
-Freak out.
-Okay.
274
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:21,180
Okay, let's review.
275
00:13:21,181 --> 00:13:23,091
Danny, you're going
to have a child
276
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,633
with the girl of your dreams.
277
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:27,694
Ben, you're having
your second unplanned child
278
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:30,927
with a cheerleader
you've been in love with
since high school.
279
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:32,891
And I've knocked up a girl
whose name I'm not even sure
280
00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:35,613
is spelled
with two "E's" or three.
281
00:13:35,605 --> 00:13:37,895
Well, then, we're just gonna
have to tell them the truth.
282
00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:40,778
No. No, no one
is telling anyone anything.
283
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,990
Riley and I just got back
together, and if she finds out
284
00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:44,743
I was lying to her
and didn't say anything,
285
00:13:44,744 --> 00:13:46,454
then there will be
no more back together.
286
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:48,116
Wait. We wouldn't even
be in this mess
287
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,998
if the girls found out
about the condoms
288
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,870
at the same time we did.
289
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:57,222
I get it. We just keep
using the condoms until
they notice the holes in them.
290
00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,507
No.
291
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:03,220
We just redo the poker game,
and this time we invite them.
292
00:14:03,223 --> 00:14:08,103
And we discover the bad condoms
all together. It's genius.
293
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,638
As long as we're doing that,
can we also redo the poker game
294
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,930
from three weeks ago?
295
00:14:11,932 --> 00:14:13,732
'Cause I lost
a ton of money that night.
296
00:14:16,566 --> 00:14:18,526
Roger! No!
297
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:24,071
I told you,
Riley has a boyfriend.
298
00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:27,164
A big giant boyfriend.
299
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,447
But I feel like
she's seen the light.
300
00:14:29,449 --> 00:14:32,539
Yeah, well, that light's
gonna get real dark
once he punches you out.
301
00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:35,712
Riley is worth
a thousand punches
to the head.
302
00:14:35,705 --> 00:14:39,165
Which clearly,
you've already taken.
303
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,839
Listen, Roger.
Danny and Riley
just got back together.
304
00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:45,812
But currently,
their relationship
is hanging on by a thread.
305
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:49,135
And I'm not gonna let you
snap it by barging in there
306
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,969
and professing
your love for her.
307
00:14:50,971 --> 00:14:54,271
So Riley's in there?
And I have a chance?
308
00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:55,984
Riley, I'm coming for you!
309
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:58,016
Oh, no, you're not!
No, you're not!
310
00:14:58,018 --> 00:15:01,108
No, you're not!
I can do this all day,
pretty boy!
311
00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,861
You are going down!
312
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:06,202
Bring it on, Roger.
Bring it on!
313
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:09,116
-The roof!
-Ohh, damn it!
314
00:15:09,119 --> 00:15:12,909
Roger! No! No, no, no!
315
00:15:13,994 --> 00:15:15,544
Well, this is a first.
316
00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:17,955
You guys inviting us
to poker night.
317
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,088
Where are the chips?
318
00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:21,749
Oh. It's normally
a $20 buy-in, but...
319
00:15:21,751 --> 00:15:25,221
we can make this
a friendly game, right?
320
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,255
Condoms.
321
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:28,846
Wow, that's...
pretty friendly.
322
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:32,310
Oh, you're not
going anywhere.
323
00:15:32,312 --> 00:15:35,062
(both grunting)
324
00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:36,855
Damn, you're bony!
325
00:15:36,856 --> 00:15:37,896
Ow!
326
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:40,977
Five-card draw,
one-eyed Jacks are wild.
327
00:15:44,024 --> 00:15:46,244
Riley, do you have
enough chips?
328
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,066
Or do you want
a couple of mine?
329
00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:52,829
I'm good. Thanks.
Uh, I'll take two.
330
00:15:56,126 --> 00:15:59,076
What? This is weird.
331
00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:02,079
Wow, this condom has
a bunch of holes in it.
332
00:16:02,082 --> 00:16:05,182
Wow, and--
Oh, my God,
you guys, here we are
333
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:09,885
all just discovering it
for the very first time.
334
00:16:09,889 --> 00:16:12,929
Well, lucky you found it now,
am I right?
335
00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:15,062
I'll take one.
336
00:16:15,055 --> 00:16:17,305
(stammers)
Hey! Wait.
337
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:19,727
This condom has
a couple of holes
in it, too.
338
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,099
I wonder if they all do?
339
00:16:21,101 --> 00:16:23,061
Oh, my God,
Danny, you're right.
340
00:16:23,063 --> 00:16:25,073
They must all be defective.
341
00:16:25,065 --> 00:16:27,195
Then let's make sure
we don't use those.
342
00:16:27,197 --> 00:16:28,367
Three, please.
343
00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:30,278
What if we've
already used them?
344
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,240
Surely someone must
be thinking that?
345
00:16:33,823 --> 00:16:34,913
Anyone?
346
00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:42,119
Aah! Pull me back up!
347
00:16:42,122 --> 00:16:44,582
Only if you leave
Riley alone!
348
00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:46,094
Never!
349
00:16:46,086 --> 00:16:49,256
Are you sure, Roge?
You're gettin' pretty heavy.
350
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,679
Ben, so what if we all
used your condoms?
351
00:16:52,682 --> 00:16:55,232
I think we'd know
if we were pregnant,
right, ladies?
352
00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:57,185
-Of course.
-Yeah, totally.
353
00:16:57,187 --> 00:17:00,727
Ah! Full house!
Read 'em and weep!
354
00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:03,310
The cards don't lie.
355
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,743
The cards don't,
but we do!
356
00:17:05,735 --> 00:17:09,145
Riley, you're pregnant.
You're all pregnant!
357
00:17:09,149 --> 00:17:10,949
I really wanted to tell you
about the condoms,
358
00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:12,320
but they didn't let me.
359
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,112
I'm so sorry, please, please,
don't break up with me again.
360
00:17:14,114 --> 00:17:16,124
Our child needs a father!
361
00:17:17,577 --> 00:17:21,157
I liked it better when
you didn't know anything.
362
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:24,832
I'm not pregnant.
363
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,134
Okay? None of us are.
364
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:28,336
That's not true,
you have all the symptoms.
365
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:31,338
No, the only symptoms
we have are dating
a bunch of idiots.
366
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,881
Your mom told us
about the holes
in the condoms.
367
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,643
Thank God for her,
she saved our lives.
368
00:17:35,635 --> 00:17:38,225
(grunting, panting)
369
00:17:39,269 --> 00:17:42,179
Oh, my God!
You saved my life.
370
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:47,192
Yeah, that's right.
So now you'll leave Riley alone?
371
00:17:47,187 --> 00:17:48,737
Riley!
372
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:51,148
Dammit!
373
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,253
I'm sorry.
374
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:56,655
I didn't know what to do.
375
00:17:56,656 --> 00:18:00,866
Well, here's a crazy idea:
maybe tell the truth next time.
376
00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:08,166
Eh, she'll be fine.
I'll call her tomorrow.
377
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:13,340
Wow, Tucker,
too bad your girlfriend
isn't very understanding.
378
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,223
Thank God mine is.
379
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:17,345
Right?
380
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,387
You almost gave me
a heart attack.
381
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,429
The last thing
I want to do right now
is have a kid.
382
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:24,481
Trust me, neither do I.
Eventually, sure,
but right now,
383
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,284
no, thank you.
Am I right?
384
00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:29,986
So right. Not now,
and actually, not ever.
385
00:18:31,231 --> 00:18:33,901
Riley, I think you're right.
386
00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:35,583
We should just
forget this ever happened.
387
00:18:35,575 --> 00:18:38,035
I never said that.
388
00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:40,157
Could you?
389
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,330
Danny, you should've
followed your instincts,
390
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:46,133
and not let anyone...
Ben or Tucker...
391
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,125
talk you out of telling me.
392
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,337
We have to believe
that our relationship
is strong enough
393
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,550
that we don't
have to hide anything
from each other,
394
00:18:52,552 --> 00:18:56,642
that there's absolutely nothing
that I wouldn't tell you about.
395
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,596
Riley, I love you!
And I know you love me!
396
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,823
Is there something
you wanna tell me?
397
00:19:05,815 --> 00:19:07,355
No, I'm good.
398
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:13,110
So, let's never
do that again.
399
00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:15,912
By "again" you mean the use
of defective condoms, right?
400
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,615
Because if we're never doing
the other thing again,
401
00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:19,867
I foresee some issues
with our relationship.
402
00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:23,159
Yes, I meant the condoms.
403
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,292
But let's maybe triple down
from now on.
404
00:19:26,286 --> 00:19:28,706
The whole kid thing
is a little too much for me.
405
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:33,548
Yeah... about that.
Did you really mean
you never wanna have kids?
406
00:19:33,553 --> 00:19:37,263
I did, it's just...
not something I see
in my future.
407
00:19:37,257 --> 00:19:41,507
But... I have a kid,
and she's definitely
in my future.
408
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:44,011
Oh, and I will
totally get used to that.
409
00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:45,313
I can deal with Emma.
410
00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:49,645
Yeah... see...
"deal with" and "used to"
411
00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:53,109
are not exactly the words
a father wants to hear
about his little girl.
412
00:19:53,112 --> 00:19:56,372
Plus... I want more kids.
413
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:59,776
Having a brother growing up
was part of what made me
who I am.
414
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:04,660
I'm sorry, Ben,
it's just not who I am.
415
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,878
I can't believe
I'm about to say this, but...
416
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,540
if that's
how you truly feel,
417
00:20:13,543 --> 00:20:17,053
then I don't think
we have a future, Sam.
418
00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:19,006
You're kidding, right?
419
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:21,548
After all we went through
to get here?
420
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:27,611
But here without a family
is nowhere for me.
I'm sorry.
421
00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:30,397
I'm sorry, too.
422
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,612
Hey! Has anyone seen Roger?
423
00:20:34,614 --> 00:20:39,454
Nope?
You know... you two
make a nice couple.
424
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:49,584
Well, it is a relief
to know that I'm not gonna be
a grandma again right away.
425
00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:53,459
But you know... those tests
aren't always accurate
this early in pregnancy.
426
00:20:53,463 --> 00:20:56,303
Okay. Well, I guess I know
what I'm doing on my lunch hour.
427
00:20:58,428 --> 00:21:01,218
Here's your tea,
your folder on the Johnson case,
428
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:02,590
and I had
your parking validated.
429
00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:05,892
I asked for a smoothie,
the Harper case,
430
00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:07,975
and I don't have a car,
431
00:21:07,977 --> 00:21:10,477
but... excellent work as always.
432
00:21:13,393 --> 00:21:15,233
So you still haven't
fired him yet?
433
00:21:15,234 --> 00:21:17,164
I can't. Remember, boss's son?
434
00:21:17,156 --> 00:21:19,486
Yeah, yeah, about that, um...
435
00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:21,489
Aah!
436
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:24,491
You know what? Never mind.
31125
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
