Original subtitles

Just when you want it

K.R.V.A. 98

These are the places where there's news:

Capitol Hill.

The president says his economic plan will renew America.

Pick up that phone, and let's save you money.

We spare no expense.

It... it really gets me that people think

that this is the only country that matters, everything we do is...

Well, the market started off strong,

then stocks fell, pulled down 10 cents to 345.5.

The more I try to save, the more I need to spend,

and my checkbook just never...

Success is just around the corner.

Money honey

Whoo, money honey.

Oh

The unemployment rate

jumped another three-tenth of a percent last month,

the worst it's been in more than...

broadband.

It's money that I love

It's money that I love

It's money that I love

Money

Saving for that dream home?

Watch out. Lotto fever's on its way.

No one picked all the winning numbers from last night's drawing,

so that means tomorrow's jackpot will reach a whopping $14 million.

Dollars, dollars, dollars.

Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today

Hey, look!

Let's get it.

Come on, come on!

Let's get it, let's get it!

No!

Stop!

Stop!

Come back!

No!

That's our money.

Oh, yes!

Hey, that's mine!

Yeah! Yeah!

Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh!

There's luck, and there's fate.

Luck is, for you small-timers.

It's what they used to call miracles.

That's all bullshit!

"L-33

"42, 58

49-D."

"L"

Is for "lottery."

"D" is for "dollars."

I play these numbers.

This bill,

this bill is my destiny!

Thank you!

Damn motherfucking son-of-a-bitch!

Get back here!

No, no, no, no, no, skateboard, not in here, please.

Then the skateboards come in,

then the kids bring their pets in, too.

Then I have no business at all.

You want one of these? Why don't you get 2?

That's $2.75, then that's cheaper for you plus the tax.

Ja. Put it up. Now I lick my fingers, so I lose my license, see?

We don't have change. Ah, they are early.

Now you must run now.

Hi.

Ah, Mr. Holiday, please come in.

Anna, so nice to see you.

I hope we haven't kept you waiting.

Ah, don't be ridiculous. You know, you're looking just lovely today.

I hope all the details of the wedding are not driving you crazy.

I hope, I don't know,

I think this is the most beautiful cake that I've ever made.

Not to worry, not to worry, you always make the best.

Ah, you're too generous. You butter me up, Mr. Holiday.

Watch this flour here on the floor. It's awfully slippery.

Joanie, please take the front counter, so we have someone there.

I'm so nervous. Why, I don't know.

I want you to like the cake. I'm sure you will.

Please come this way. Ja, that's right.

Oh, it's gorgeous.

It's beautiful, yes?

Is it right for you?

Mr. Holiday? You like it?

Ah, you're too kind, thank you.

And then, we have the little bridesmaids who'll be walking up the steps.

They're not quite complete, but you can imagine what it will be.

What are those people doing on the cake?

What, those people?

What, I don't...

I thought we decided on the porcelain figures in the catalog.

You're right. Oh, gott!

Is it too late to change it?

Ah, we can change it.

Of course, I can.

But you know they are $360 and plus the tax.

He's going to change that.

Thank you.

And we have, then, a $5, and here's a $10.

And a $20.

Oh, oh, oh! You are a man with great class.

Now, you'll never see those people again.

Ok, go make love to your fiance.

Hey, there! In the front there!

Don't put it too high on those!

Pan that over here!

You're a lucky guy, Mastrewski.

That's Mr. Mastrewski to you.

You know, pretty soon, you're gonna be workin' for me. Count on it.

Used to be, you couldn't count on anything.

Now, you got this world...

where even you can be a big shot.

Anytime you wanna see me in the front office, call first.

Better get on out there.

Sam.

That's your future honkin'.

Sam, come on, please.

We're gonna be late.

So, Buddha, you think I shouldn't marry her

because she's rich?

Hey, I believe in the free enterprise system.

Oh, hello, Mr. Holiday.

Hello, Sam. You're not supposed to be working today.

Oh, I know. Nicky wasn't supposed to be sick, either.

So, uh, let's go.

What's that?

It's called a "hand of Fatima."

Fatima was Muhammad's daughter.

Her hand offers prosperity to the newlyweds.

Sam, this the unfortunate girl?

Oh, yeah.

Aunt Dotty, this is Anna,

Jack Holiday, my Uncle Krystoff.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Look around you. You got everything.

It's not too late to change your mind.

Why don't we go inside?

Yes, yes. Please, please.

Ooh! Nice hand!

Jack?

Yes, Sam.

How do I look?

You look just fine.

1, 2, 3, 4!

Well, you're finally getting married?

Now we're free of you at last?

Which is really quite a blessing?

When considering your past?

Now that Anna's...?

Excuse me. Don't take this the wrong way,

but you're Arabs. How come your name is holiday?

Glory, glory Sam Mastrewski?

My husband's last name is Shokrula Alyzim.

It's Arabic for "thank God for the good day."

He changed it after he came to this country.

Good day? What good day?

Good day. Like holiday, you dope.

I sure wish his father had thought

about changing his name to something as nice as holiday.

...drive your mom to tears?

Better hurry and get married, get the hell away from here?

Before she knows the truth?

Come on, everybody.

Glory, glory, Sam Mastrewski?

You picked a pretty girl?

How did that one get in there?

Mom, is that you?

...you-ski?

Your father had been plannin' a trip to Spain for years.

Somehow he just never seemed to find the time.

So I had this picture taken for him,

sort of like a consolation prize.

Marry Anna we implore?

Before she knows the truth?

The closest your father ever came to a vacation

was Saturday night bowling with the league.

When she finally learns the truth-ski?

You're Anna's headache now?

I just want to say in spite of what we've just seen,

I'm still happy to welcome Sam and his family into our family.

When I was your age,

I found an oil tanker in Saudi Arabia

that was leaving for the States,

and I took a job in the galley in exchange for my passage.

I had very little money,

but every day, I bought a pack of gum from the ship's store.

I had seen an American movie and in it Richard Widmark chewed a lot of gum.

I believed that if I chewed enough gum,

I would step off the ship, transformed into an American like Richard Widmark.

Now I make that gum.

Millions and a beach house, man! Holiday and son!

The ship docked in Galveston.

I had 72 rials in my pocket.

It was all the money I had in the world.

There was a bank across the street. I went inside.

The cashier took my money, and she counted it twice.

Here it comes, man.

Very carefully.

Then she opened a drawer and handed me

my new money,

one $20 bill.

I took that bill, and I sat down on a bench that was there in the bank.

I sat and I stared

at my first real piece of America.

I guess for most immigrant it's the Statue of Liberty,

The New York skyline, the Golden Gate Bridge.

But for me,

it was that $20 bill.

It seemed to me I was holding my entire world of possibilities

right there in my hands.

That's you, man. Go, go.

I want you and my daughter to have a chance

to feel that young and unstoppable.

Think of it as your wedding present.

A wedding present.

Whoa.

Is that all?

When you were a boy, Sam, what did you want to do?

You must have had dreams.

Uh, I don't remember.

Try. It's important.

Hold that man!

Sorry, boss!

Come along quietly now. We don't want to cause no ugly scene.

Anna, I... I guess I'm leaving.

It's ok, Anna. I'll take good care of him.

This is great, isn't it?

This is just fucking wonderful.

That was one intense speech Mr. Holiday got into.

It's easy for him to say, right? He's living in his dream.

Who's Richard Widmark, I mean?

How am I supposed to know what I want to do?

I mean, like I remember reading about him somewhere.

There never was any "what I wanted to do."

It was just what I did.

Life's dealt you such a cruel blow.

One thing's for sure. I'm not going back to work for the guy on Monday.

Oh, hey, there's an opening at the body shop.

Well, how's that feel?

Ooh, 2 points!

All right!

Hey, for richer or poorer, right?

Yeah, right.

Oh, right on time.

Who's that?

You stay right there.

Get room service. The rest of you guys get over there.

What are you getting so excited about, Buddha?

Get up, get up. Get over there, get over there.

Just relax.

You're gonna love it.

Hey.

Hi.

Come in.

This is the bachelor party?

Refreshments.

Do you wanna tape this?

It's $50 extra.

Ooh.

What is this, a wake?

Well, this is Sam Mastrewski. He's our groom-to-be.

So you're the lucky guy, huh?

Congratulations.

Uh, thank you.

Is there a bathroom here?

Yeah, it's right over there.

Whoo-Hoo!

Just give me a minute.

Cheer up!

I don't think this is such a good idea right now, Buddha.

I don't know.

I've done this before.

You just stay up, just stay up.

Yeah!

Hi. How you, how you...

How you doin' tonight?

Well, I think I'm getting the flu.

I got that sort of pre-fluey fluey feeling, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Uh, so we said $100, right?

Yeah.

For $100 you get topless, that's all.

Another $50, the g-string comes off.

The more green, the more seen.

You got another $100 on top of that,

we can talk about anything else you think your friend might like.

I think we'll just start with, uh, what we first talked about, ok?

Whatever.

Come on. This is gonna be great. Gonna love it.

Hi.

Put it over that light.

Ooh! Thanks.

There we go.

Sit down.

Hello, big boy.

Hi there. Hey.

How you doin'?

Oh, my God.

Come on. Let's see 'em.

Baby!

Yeah! All right! Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, come on, Sam.

Yes.

Go with the program, son.

It's your turn.

Give her that good Samson thing.

Sam, Sam, Sam!

I don't believe it.

I'm gettin' a woody.

Well, that's good. Something's working in here.

Oh, Sam!

Come on, Sam!

Come on, man!

Oh, Sam. Come on, Sam.

Talk to him, darling.

Get his attention. Wake him up.

Whoo-Hoo-Hoo!

Whoo-Hoo-Hoo!

Yes!

Come on, Sam! Come on!

What's the matter, Sam?

Hey, that feels so good!

Come on, bet money, Sammy!

Sammy.

Do it, Sam. Go!

Come on!

Wake up, Sam.

Oh, Sam, you feel so good.

Yeah!

Oh, yes, Sam! Oh!

Put it where you wanna put it.

He should get married more often.

Oh, Sam!

Yes!

Go, Sam!

Oh, Sam.

I'm sure you'll make your wife very happy.

Who is it, man?

Somebody get the door.

Who is it?

Room service.

Hey, man! Hey, it's Anna

What oh, shit.

Excuse me. I'm really sorry.

Hey, hey, hey, get a cover in here, man.

Cover her up, man!

You! Cover yourself up!

Thank you, Sam. Come on!

No, come here, come here, come here

everyone act normal!

Oh. Oh, shit, fuck.

Ok, just... can you...

Aah!

1, 2, 3.

Anna. What a pleasant surprise.

Did you miss me?

Uh, uh, yeah.

Hey, incoming!

Oh, thanks, guys

Come on in.

Kathy.

So, um...

I've... I've got a 4 of hearts.

This is what a bachelor party's all about?

Uh, yeah.

Looks like a regular Friday night to me.

Oh, the usual.

Two sixes.

Yeah. Huh?

So, uh, how did you find us?

Kathy.

Uh, where's mark?

Uh, in the bathroom.

Put...

Listen, Sam, uh, I just wanted to make sure

you didn't get the wrong idea about daddy's wedding present.

I mean... well... no...

Right. Now I'm gonna go check, ok?

You're mad.

No, Anna, I'm not, I'm not mad, really.

Sam, you didn't think that daddy was just gonna give us $20, did you?

I don't know. I mean, I thought.

No, I didn't think that. No.

Yes, you did think that.

Of course I didn't.

Not really a good time.

Um, maybe,

uh, maybe you can...

Fire escape's gonna cost you an extra $50.

Really?

Yeah.

Ok. Here.

Um...

Um.

It's just a good thing you got him.

So this is what we're gonna do.

We take the $20 that daddy gave you,

and we have it framed with our wedding picture,

and we put it on the wall in the living room

and we invite the family over to see it.

Mmm-Mmm, why would we want to do all of that?

Well, that way when daddy sees that you understand the symbolism of his gesture,

he'll know that you're ready to take your place in our family.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh!

So, um, so where is it?

Um, where's what?

Sam, daddy's $20.

It doesn't have to be that $20, does it?

What'd you do with it?

Well, we can probably just get another $20 and put that one in a frame and...

Sam, I won't lie to my father.

It's not exactly a lie.

I swear to God, I'm never doing this again.

I won't lie to my father.

Could you turn down that music, please?

Yeah, yeah, guys come on, a little respect.

Really

Oh, shit.

I can't believe this.

If daddy can't trust you with a simple $20 bill,

how's he ever gonna trust you with $20 million?

It's ok, you know what?

I just remembered where I put it, so I'll...

I, um. Excuse me.

I, uh, forgot my box.

I can't work without it.

We, um...

It's my fault.

Anna, she's with me. She's with me.

Look, um... look, if... if it'll help...

you can have this back.

See, he didn't have anything to do with it.

Kathy, let's go.

Anna, wait a minute, um.

I'm really sorry.

I was only tryin' to help.

Everything ok?

Coming up next on news radio.

News when you want it?

K.R.V. A 98?

No winners again in last night's drawing.

The pot goes up to $19 million.

Today's weather, more of the same.

Tonight and Sunday night, low clouds until morning, clearing...

hold the fork, fluffy.

This is essence de l'argent.

It will bring you success and money.

Now what you wanna do is wait until your bath cools,

add 7 drops and some honey to your water and the petals of 7 yellow roses.

You burn this candle to the honor of Oshum

for 5 nights in a row.

You do all that...

Hey!

Children!

Kids think I'm a witch.

That'll be $17.

Now, you don't wanna use more than 7 drops.

You act greedy,

You just gonna piss Oshum off.

I'll be careful.

Ok.

So that's 5 nights for the candle?

That's it. That's it

Ok.

You want any "hold 'em" oil?

Keeps the men in line.

No, thank you.

Thank you.

There she goes.

Let's follow her.

Ok.

Hey, Emily.

Hi.

Tea, please.

Hey!

So making love is a process of divine sublimity

in which God almighty...

injections will release spiritual essence.

Hi. How you doin'?

Mrs. Shakespeare,

do you mind takin' a moment and comin' over here?

You know, you don't understand...

Could I borrow your pen?

Uh, chamomile or peppermint?

Your pen.

What about my pen?

Could I use it?

Oh! Just one second.

Chamomile.

Emily, you got a BLT up! Let's go!

$0.75?

Hang on. I got change in here somewhere.

Shit, I had a whole stack of quarters.

Man. All right, forget it. If you don't mind breaking $10 for a cup of coffee.

Sure.

Be a lot faster than waiting for me to find my change.

I hate when you can't find somethin', but you know you have it.

I don't care about the 75 cents,

but my old man had Alzheimer's, and sometimes, I think...

Hope not.

Thanks a lot.

So, are you a writer.

I thought I noticed you we writing stuff down. It's interesting work.

Must be lonely though, huh?

I like it.

You're a student of human nature, huh?

Maybe I left the money in my car.

I swear to God, I'm losin' my mind.

I hate this pocket. I don't know why I put stuff in here.

Ok.

I swear to God, I'm so stupid. Could you just, uh...

Sorry about the hassle.

Can you just give me back the $10?

Ok.

Thanks a lot. You have any mints or anything?

On the house.

Hey, thanks a lot. Good luck with the writing.

Be a hell of a lot easier if you just went in there and laid a .45 up the lady's head.

Excuse me?

That trick with the $10.

Sooner or later, someone's gonna pop to it.

I don't know what the fuck you're talkin' about.

What are you makin'?

$9.25 for your trouble?

You a cop?

You know, bunco cases, a judge usually gives you full term.

2 years, first offense.

That's about what you get for armed robbery,

if you got a halfway decent public defender.

What that means,

we go inside grandma's kitchen here with a sawed-off,

we put it up to "hello, my name's Emily"'s head,

and you take maybe $400 or $500 from the register.

Who the fuck are you?

Just a guy who wants to help you maximize your profit potential.

My profit potential?

I'm looking for a partner.

What, do you want me to rob this place with you?

Not unless you're prepared to shoot 30 witnesses.

I'm more interested in easy places.

Gas stations, liquor stores.

More profit and a lot less risk.

You're not afraid of guns, are you?

Are you fuckin' crazy?

I don't even know you.

It's better that way.

10 minutes. In and out.

You can make as much as you do workin' that $10 bill all day.

You sleep on it.

You interested, we'll meet right down the block this side

tomorrow night around 7:00.

Try to wear somethin' nice.

You don't wanna look suspicious.

Yeah, right.

Hi.

Hi, kids.

My mom gave me a nickel

My mom gave me a dime

My mom gave me

Hi, I'm Bobby McCormac.

Welcome to "cooking with Bobby McCormac."

Today we're going to be cooking cassoulet.

It's not cassoulet without duck confit.

Duck.

Preserved in its own fat.

Now you could make your own confit,

or you can wait until your parents go away for the weekend,

and spend all the money they left you for emergencies

down at le maison du gourmet.

Let's take some calls, shall we?

Hello. You're cooking with Bobby McCormac.

Happy birthday.

Thanks. What's up?

Well, um, you know that special bottle of wine,

the one in my dad's liquor cabinet?

Yeah, sure. What about it?

Well, I'm really sorry, but he locked it.

Oh, I knew you'd be upset.

I know you said you can't have cassoulet without white wine.

And you can't have white wine for 42 cents.

I know you probably hate me.

I ruined everything.

Whoo! Grandma sent me some papes.

I wish I could make it up to you.

Uh, what do you say I pick you up this evening?

Ok.

I want to make an important stop before our dinner.

How come?

Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

Ok, I'll see you tonight.

Peace.

How you doin'?

I thought I told you to dress nice.

Come on, man.

This is like a $60 jacket. Give me a break.

In the course of the evening you're gonna learn a few things from me.

I like to think of them as life lessons.

This is life lesson number one:

You always want to look nice.

Ok, Mr. Blackwell.

Know somethin'? I almost didn't come down here.

Now I do come down here, you start handin' me a rap of this shit.

You've got spirit. I like that.

You don't know how to dress but you've got spirit.

Thanks so much.

So what do we do now?

Drive out to the suburbs, the land of less cops and more cash.

A well-dressed man is virtually faceless.

What people remember are the clothes.

And be polite.

But make sure they know you're serious.

Your choice.

Here. Take this one.

Makes a louder noise.

Watch it, stupid!

33,

42, 58, 49.

Pardon me?

There's a sound there.

A... a... a... a resonance.

Do you hear it?

Say it, say it with me.

33, 42,

58, 49.

Right. Now sell me a lottery ticket.

Oh!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Hi. How are you?

Oh, I feel lucky.

Well, no, uh, lucky is really not the right word.

I feel that, uh, the time is right.

I feel inspired.

Um, transcendent almost.

How about you?

I can't complain.

Thank you.

Uh, you're welcome.

And how are you doing?

Oh, not bad. It's been pretty slow.

Sorry to hear that.

Why don't you show my friend and me just how slow it's been?

Maybe now is not the right time.

Hey!

Let her go, let her go. She's harmless.

W-what are you doing?

We're robbing you. What does it look like we're doing?

Jesus. Well, don't hurt me, all right?

Why don't you just open up the cash register, then back fuck away, all right?

Holy shit. We're gonna have to see you on a good night.

Will you get me a bag, please?

Here.

Oh.

Come on. Let's go, let's go.

Let's go, let's go, come on.

Thanks.

Have a nice night.

Let me get a bottle of that rum over there.

Aw, man, I like that.

I like that. No bullshit.

Just give me the fuckin' money. Yeah.

"Have a nice night

You don't ever want to open a bag full of money while you're driving.

Somebody might see you.

You are really out there somewhere, you know that?

probably a very fucked up person,

very paranoid.

How much you think we got?

About $600, give or take.

Hey, if they give it, I'll take it.

What are you doin'?

Life lesson number 2.

Hey!

I can't believe my father doesn't trust me.

I mean, it's so insulting.

Yeah, and he ruined my dinner.

But it was important.

You know, I wanted your birthday to be special.

Me, too.

So where are we going?

Shoppin'.

If we were to sell this for even $2.25,

you'd be gettin' a great buy.

But we wanna do something today that's gonna shock you.

$1.29...

Thank you.

Look at the difference in price.

Does it make you want to shop here?

Well, there are a lot of active people who wear gold.

It's a sign of success...

There's people comin' in.

Why do they go for this one?

They go for this one because it is so strong.

I'm gonna take it off display here for a moment on my neck and show you. Look.

This is solid as well, so it's heavier...

Relax and nobody will have to get hurt.

Move away from the door.

Fabulous, fabulous.

And we're offering it, to...

Wow.

...for $11.89 a gram.

You really shouldn't smoke, you know.

...the shopping through television industry has always maintained...

Good evening.

We were just robbing the store here.

Would you both lie down on the floor, please?

Right away, please.

Hi. I'm Gary Adams. I'm a lawyer...

She's going for the alarm.

Oh, shit!

Fucking hell, man. You shot her.

I wouldn't take too good a look at me if I were you.

Remember, if you've been hurt

In an on-the-job injury,

you may be entitled to compensation.

You don't own this place, do you, ma'am?

No.

Then why did you bother?

It isn't even your money.

I hope you feel terrible.

I said I did, Bobby.

So what are we doing?

We're buyin' some wine for dinner.

With what, Bobby? We're broke?

With this. Got it for my birthday.

Bobby.

Gimme the money.

These guys are like putty in my hands. What do we want?

2 bottles of wine.

White.

Hey!

Cool car.

Thanks.

Can I ask you guys somethin'?

Yeah, go for it. Please.

Well, it's my boyfriend's 20th birthday, and, uh,

I was just wondering if...

I think it will be his 20th birthday in what, about 5 years?

Uh, yeah, okay. What, uh, what do you want?

2 bottles of white wine.

Be back in a minute.

How much you think we got by now?

In the neighborhood of $5,000.

Oh, man, I could live in that neighborhood.

Buy myself a nice suit like you were talkin' about.

You know, like one of those Italian jobs, maybe a raw silk shirt.

Nothin' too flashy.

Dress for success.

Where next?

We're all done for tonight.

Why?

Well, remember, we discussed risk.

The shooting kind of changed our odds.

We get caught, it's closer to 20 years than 2.

It's time to call it a night.

Just one more place.

$5,000 is a good night's work.

$6,000 is better.

How's it goin', buddy?

Ok, how are you?

All right, all right.

Who's the wine for?

Uh, that'd be me.

- Roughly you? - Yeah.

Uh, what about young fluffy fragrance who's just waiting for that wine out there?

Come on, man.

Mind telling me what it is you're doing here?

I'm goin' inside.

Wanna come?

Mmm.

Wear a condom.

How you doin'? Good. How you doin'?

He saw us talkin' and, uh, well, you know, he wouldn't sell us that,

But if you wanna come and drink beers with us, it's always another option.

In your dreams, creep.

Ooh.

Listen, I'm not gonna hurt you.

Open up the cash register, put the money in the bag.

Sorry.

Let me try.

Bye, maybe next time.

Excuse me.

Yo. Excuse me.

Uh, yeah. Me and my girlfriend, we forgot our IDs.

Now I was wondering if you could buy us a couple of bottles of wine.

Uh, white wine.

Dry, not too fruity.

Maybe a sauvignon blanc or something. You can keep the change if you want to.

See, it's my birthday, and, uh, I'm tryin' to lose my virginity.

Want me to buy you some wine?

You got it.

You know, this is against the law.

Yeah, buddy.

Gimme the fuckin' money.

Money's in the tube. Every 45 minutes, it goes underground.

You can't get it. What the fuck you talkin' about?

He's telling you the truth. In convenience stores, the money goes in a tube.

That's why there's that sign there on the register.

- Don't kill me, ok? - The one that reads...

"Employees cannot make change for anything larger than a 20."

Shit.

What was that? I think it was a gun or something.

Let's get outta here nah, they got my money.

Fuck! I don't believe this shit.

Frank.

God damn it!

Calm down!

There's no money in the store.

I'm truly sorry about this.

I hope you'll accept my apology.

I... I appreciate this. All right.

Hey, hey, keep your hands up.

Hey, kids, hold on!

Watch them.

Wha... hey!

I got you some champagne instead.

Come on! Let's get outta here!

Happy birthday.

This fucking car!

Calm down.

Take a minute.

I don't have a minute, ok? You used up my fucking minute.

Well, what are you, the... the Robin Hood of fucking cold duck?

Try it again.

Just keep drivin'.

Turn into that lot there.

We'll split the money up here.

I can grab a bus home.

Hey, I'll give you a ride home, man. I'll drop you off somewhere.

That's all right. Forget about it.

So what about tomorrow night? Same time, same place?

I don't think we'll be working together again.

What, are you kiddin' me, man?

We were a fucking team tonight.

You're unprofessional.

I'm sorry, but that's one thing I won't put up with.

What, you're so professional what did you need me for?

I didn't need you at all.

All I needed was your car.

My car?

Right.

Are you saying you don't want to work with me anymore?

That's what I'm saying.

You don't wanna work with me anymore, and all you needed was my car?

Right, exactly.

Well, if you're so good at this, how come you don't have your own goddamn car?

I do. I have 2 cars.

I just don't want anyone taking down my license plate number.

Things we've been doin' tonight.

You son of a bitch.

You fucking son of a bitch.

Let's just divide the money.

Hey, wa... wait a minute. What is this?

You fuckin' holdin' out on me now?

Frank, that's $20.

You made $2,500 tonight.

No, no, no. It's not the money, man.

It's... it's... it's the principle.

You were holdin' out on me.

Hey, I forgot about it. You want it, keep it.

Now let's just divide the money.

Yeah.

No, I don't think so.

You forgot to reload after you blew away that cash register.

Life lesson number 3:

Quit while you're ahead.

Humm?

How you doin'?

Pretty good. Kind of quiet.

This all that was found on the person of the John Doe?

Technically, yes, but, uh,

Charlie scored this $60 jacket.

Hmm. Thanks.

Delivery!

Watch those knees and turn!

3, 4! Keep those stomachs tight! Turn!

Look, it was just a simple mistake, all right?

No, I meant to write $100. Yes. No, I just forgot a zero.

Uh, right here. No, no, no. You can't take away a man's credit card because he makes...

Hello? Fine.

"Sollicium." Sounds classy, doesn't it?

I made it up.

See, you have a product, you gotta have a name.

What does it do?

You rub it right into your scalp.

Why?

Stress. All right, what happens when people are under stress, huh?

They worry. They worry so much,

uh, uh, their hair falls out, right?

Bingo! They gotta talk to Neil Campbell.

Here, go ahead. See, now you have a nice head of hair now,

but you worry, I can tell.

Wow. That bad, huh?

Wh-what is it, uh, a girl?

Oh.

Well, not anymore.

It's a nice color.

So... is this what you plan on doing

for the next couple of years?

Who has time to think about it, you know?

If I was starting over, I tell you what I'd go into. Boxes.

Can I ask you somethin'?

Think about it. Even boxes come in boxes.

Do you ever get scared?

Yeah, all the time.

Sign here.

Uh, Neil Campbell. Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

What, my check bounced?

I-I see. Ok, did you say Neil?

I think you're calling for someone else.

Uh, no, that's not...

Let's have some fun!

Come on!

2, 3, 4!

So after we go to the police station, we'll go out.

You know, we'll have dinner, uh, go to a club, go dancing.

- Neil. - What?

It's me, Emily.

Right.

Sorry, they repossessed your car.

I know. What do they want from me?

Do I have to wear this hat?

Thanks.

Do you think it's the same people who rob me every time?

It's gonna take a while to find all your stuff.

You wouldn't believe how much junk we got back here.

Your release form.

Excuse me, just one second.

Look at these golf clubs.

Guy murders his wife with a 7 iron.

That goes into evidence.

The guy gets 15 years.

The rest of the clubs, the ones he didn't kill anybody with?

They just sit back there.

For 15 years.

I need a pen.

Where's my pen?

Uh...

This is yours.

Great.

Oh, my tape.

Oh, hey,

Oh, I forgot to show you this.

Why, what's this?

"Can I stay here' a short story by Emily Adams."

Emily, that's you?

Emily, that's great.

How much do they pay for something like this?

This isn't about a young, successful entrepreneur or anything, is it?

Neil. You think I'd write a story about you?

You just don't take me seriously, do you?

Ok, here you go.

The rest of the stuff, you have to go around the back.

You folks are lucky. Most people, when they get robbed, they stay robbed.

Yeah, police work can be rather dangerous, can't it?

Yeah.

A lot of stress, I imagine.

There can be.

Hmm.

Let me leave you with one of my cards.

Thanks.

So what are we doing?

I, uh, just wanna put out a copy for my mom.

Perfect.

Oh! Oh, dear.

Hey, Mrs. Adams!

Oh, hi, mom!

Uh, still planting those, uh, marigolds?

Yes, Neil. I'll be right down.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

Oh, look at this.

You sure look healthy out here in the fresh air.

I've got a touch of the flu actually.

Oh. I heard it was goin' around.

Oh, my goodness.

Emily.

This is your first published story.

Can I keep it?

Oh, sure. Got about 15 copies.

She wasn't even gonna stop by and drop one off,

but I, uh, convinced her to do so.

Well, this is... this is wonderful.

We should celebrate.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, darling.

Hi, dad.

Hi. What, uh, what's wonderful, and what are we celebrating?

Your daughter.

Hey, Mr. Adams.

Hiya, Neil.

You still importing guard dogs?

No, they didn't work out. They turned out to be sweethearts, you know.

Couldn't even train them to attack the dummies.

Ran into a friend of yours in town today. Carol Belamy.

She was made a vice president at Coleman and Jones.

Must be makin' close to $50,000 a year.

Do you really think you can make a living writing these stories?

Yes. As a matter of fact, yes, I do.

You don't think that's irresponsible?

No.

Emily, your father's just trying...

No, he doesn't get it. He never got it.

I get it perfectly.

I didn't refinance this house and send you to college so that you could work

as a waitress while you pretend to be some sort of an artist.

Let's go, Neil.

I'm through paying for your hobbies, Emily.

Oh, hobbies. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

What it means is this is, this is nothing.

This is words on paper. For Christ's sake, it isn't even real.

You know what this is worth, Emily?

This is worth spit!

Neil, will you come over.

Come over? Well, it's...

I could, uh, I could make us dinner.

Well, Emily, I...

Sure. I mean, yeah. That sounds...

Some chicken, or...

I'm kind of hungry.

Well, I don't wanna really be alone right now.

I... I know. I... I understand. I mean, you shouldn't,

you shouldn't be alone.

I've always been here for you, you know. I mean...

We, uh, we could maybe, uh... spend the night together.

Emily, I'd love to.

I don't know, Neil. Maybe it's not such a good idea.

Gladys, do you wanna help with that one?

And $19.83.

From $20.00.

And...

17 cents is your change. Thank you.

You know that sometimes you can get a feeling

and you have to trust that feeling, don't you?

Because there are forces at work,

and those forces know when the time is right.

5 lottery tickets please.

So what are you gonna do when you win all that money?

I think you've missed the point.

The big bang.

Before that moment, there was nothing.

After the moment of my destiny,

infinite possibilities.

Big bang, big spin.

My numbers are 33...

Sorry, the computers just jammed again.

That is so odd.

Hi.

And it's $19.49.

From $100.

And $20, $40, $60, $80 and $100.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Good, isn't it, Mrs. Hayford?

You know, this isn't the only community service I perform.

Put it in the capsule, and the capsule dissolves.

Now, there's about 50 fish in there, and you get to keep what you catch.

But only one of you, and I mean only one,

will catch the grand prize.

All right? Good luck.

This makes Patrick the grand prize winner.

Will you share some with me?

Let me have some.

Yeah.

Don't spend it all in one place.

Oh, gushy. Blah.

Hey, that's my fish.

I don't care. I'm just gonna throw them away right now.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's that?

Hey, look at this.

"Call 9766

"Sizzling hot.

Call me and let's blow the top."

"Your hottest fantasies. 976..."

"I am Dominique.

Call me if you've got the guts for some hot and kinky sex."

"When you want it, reach for it." Yeah, that's good.

"Hot and juicy deliveries."

"I'll get 'em."

"You are XXX-rated." "Call from all 50 states."

Hey, I already had that one.

Bye. See ya.

See ya.

Are you gonna call? No way.

Hello.

This is

Peter.

I drive a car.

I drive a bike.

Yes! Yes!

And what do you do?

No excuses tonight. Don't wanna hear 'em. We're going out.

The night is young.

No, I can't.

I mean, I got a mortgage that's due.

Excuse me. Um, sir, my shoes.

Come on. It'll be fun. Be really exciting.

No, I can't, man.

I don't have the time.

You always say that.

Look, tell you what. I got an idea.

Uh, thank you.

Why don't you take this, go out, have a good time for us both huh?

I'll meet up with you.

Hi. How's it going?

Huhhi. Good.

Can I get you something? There's some chicken wings left over from happy hour.

No, no, um, thanks.

Here. Take this.

Well, go ahead. Come on. Take it.

No, I... I really don't think that'll help. But thanks.

Sure?

I'm not as bad as I look.

Ok. Take her easy.

All right.

Hi. Uh, could I have 4 cards please?

4. Yes. 2.

There we go.

Thank you.

- Oh, good luck. - Thanks a lot.

Good evening, father. Uh, 6, please. I'm sorry I don't have anything smaller.

6. Put this under.

Where's Ruth tonight?

Oh, she's home, baking.

Baking those famous apple pies?

Oh, she said to tell you she's going to save you one.

Oh, I always look forward to Ruth's pies.

- I like mine cold. - Oh?

Yes. A slice in the afternoon with a glass of milk.

Of course I love pie.

I even like to talk about it.

A piece of pie. It's so comforting, don't you think?

It makes you feel that everything is going to be all right.

Yes. Thank you.

I-28. Ok.

You know, pie restores faith?

That's right, father.

Ok, another "0." We got 0-71.

Now come on. Let's have some fun. We got 0-71.

Now let's hear it out there. "I" as in Irving. I-24.

That's out the door. That's I-24.

Ok, we got a B-8. B-8.

That's not a V-8, but that's a B-8.

Ok, B-8. Ok, we got an I-30. I-30.

And this number's for Gertie. That's I-30.

Ok, we got 0-61.

O-61, and that's gonna be some fun. That's O-61.

Ok, we got "O" in Omaha. We got O-69. O-69.

Bingo!

I just love this game.

We've got a bingo. Let's check that card out here.

Who won?

Did he get a bingo?

Sir.

Sir, you ok?

Is that guy asleep?

If you're all here,

why don't we go take a look at the resting enclosures?

Now, the Burnford is made with reinforced steel.

With, of course, the same silk lining

as the Harris and the Smithfield.

We do, however, use a ribbon cut mahogany.

My favorite.

And you get an escutcheon.

Now the Burnford has an underground life span

of at least 900 years.

I think that's the Burnford and not the Mckinley, but I'll have to check.

We'll, uh, go with the Harris.

Whatever.

If there's anything we can do...

Excuse me.

- You forgot your box. - What?

Your father's personal effects.

Oh.

His clothes, his wallet, and the rest of his belongings.

Thank you.

So those are his things.

Where is he?

Who, dad?

Yeah.

Uh, I... I don't know. I guess they have a room downstairs.

He's in this building?

He was playing bingo, and he had a heart attack.

And they brought him here from the hospital.

I know that.

I just think it's strange that he's here.

You should've been at the hospital.

I was out.

Don't you check your messages?

Yes, I check my messages, but it was a message from dad.

I wasn't about to call him back.

I mean, he didn't exactly call me up and say,

"Hi, Emily. This is your father,

I'm over at the hospital dying."

Please stand and gather round.

Come in, please.

Bruce Adams is no longer with us.

And we, his friends and family,

will all miss him.

Recently I've been thinkin uh, about how, uh, life

is like a, uh, a bill for a credit card you get at the end of the month.

I mean, you have to pay it,

you have to face the debt that you owe.

But instead of grieving it,

you can think instead in a more positive way

and have fond memories about...

and have... have fonder memories about, say,

a lovely gift you might have purchased,

a spontaneous holiday you took with your wife,

that lovely lunch you had or dinner.

Let's remember that really, the fun

is in the journey, not in getting there.

Let us pray.

It's my own company:

"Neil Campbell, Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

And, uh, you worry,

I can tell 'cause in your case...

uh, see, you... it seems to me that you, uh, you had hair...

so is that your young man?

Oh, uh, he's just a friend.

You strike me... you strike me as an... as an attractive guy.

He seems like a fine young man.

Very aggressive.

It seems you have a lot of stress on the job.

Again I wouldn't say this if I didn't care.

I, uh, want someone with a little less direction.

I'm not really looking for the aggressive type.

You know, my mother, I think she needs me in the kitchen.

It would be wonderful...

Emily, your father was such a kind man.

Behind the ears and then, bingo,

a brand-new head of hair.

- So how are we... - What are you...

Still the world's greatest apple pie.

Do you wanna know my secret ingredient?

Sure.

It's one of those things

mothers are supposed to share with their daughters.

It's pears.

I don't use apples, I use pears.

Oh, it's another one of those flower deliveries.

I don't think I have enough cash for a tip.

There should be some money in your father's wallet.

Gary put the box upstairs.

Be a dear and go get a couple of dollars?

Ok.

Never mind! I found some change!

Your father carried his first story in his wallet...

until the paper crumbled.

What?

He wrote stories.

Quite a few of them, actually.

W-w-wait. Dad wrote?

What are you talking about?

He took all the money your grandparents had saved for him to go to college.

About $6,000.

We moved to New York.

He wrote the whole time we were there.

Nothing worked out.

A couple of things almost got published, but nothing worked out.

When we left New York,

all your father had left of the $6,000

was about what you're holding now.

Mom. Mom, why... why didn't you tell me?

You should've told me.

Why?

We were on a train to come home.

He looked at me and he said,

"I'm gonna be back. I'm gonna be back here, Ruth."

He knew he wasn't ever coming back.

You only find that kind of courage once in your life.

I guess I'll give all of his suits

to that tent city project downtown.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Flight 202...

Gate 18.

Last call. Flight 202.

Gate 18.

Emily.

Gary, what are you doing here?

That's what I came to ask you.

Well, this is an airport.

I'm leaving.

I've had an epiphany.

You're leaving.

You've had an epiphany?

What the hell is an epiphany?

Where are you going?

I don't know exactly,

but I thought I'd start with Europe.

What will you do there?

I guess I'll write.

Emily,

Mom needs you.

Mom bought me the ticket.

I... I don't understand you.

I mean, what... what is it that you want?

I don't know.

I don't know what I want.

What is the matter with you, Emily?

Let me help you with a job,

get you some financial security.

Then if you want to travel, then travel.

It's what dad would have wanted for you.

It's not at all what dad would have wanted for me.

What do you mean?

Well, let me demonstrate.

That's dad's wallet.

I know. Mom said I could have it.

I...

I want you to find

the name of a famous movie on this bill.

What are you talking about?

Just think about it.

I have to go to the bathroom. When I get back, you better have it.

Flight 602. Gate 53.

I understand.

And then after we called it off,

I went back to work.

I just walked around.

If I had known I was going to cause all of this trouble,

I would've bought you two a toaster.

We could've used a toaster.

The thing that I wanted to say was...

what you said to me that night really shook me up.

And I thought, up until that point,

that I had it all figured out.

But I didn't.

And?

And that's ok, and I wanted to see you,

so I called in to...

I just wanted to say thank you.

You're welcome, Sam, but that's not what I mean.

I mean, and what are you going to do now?

I don't know.

Um.

I don't have any idea.

But I guess I'm ready to find out.

Well, it certainly wasn't how I expected this to work out,

but good luck.

You got it yet?

I'm still just a little confused here.

What does this have to do with what dad did or didn't want?

I'm trying to show you the name of a movie.

Is it with love, grandma?

No.

It's, uh...

What are you...

What are you...

Gone with the wind.

Flight 385 to Madrid, Spain,

final boarding at gate 68.

Well, there's my flight.

Goodbye, Gary.

I hope you know what you're doing.

I don't.

Passengers bound for...

- Bye. - Bye.

Oh, my God. Ma'am, I'm so... uh, excuse me.

I, uh, apolog... are you all right?

I'm fine.

Uh, you, uh, dropped this.

Thank you.

Can I help?

No, it's ok. I got it.

How about this? Uh, did you want this?

Oh, not at all.

Uh, I could use it as a bookmark.

Goin' to Spain.

Uh, yeah, I thought I'd start there.

I don't know exactly where I'll wind up.

Mr. Ed Newmeyer, please report to the airport security.

So, you ever been to Europe before?

Uh, no, I've never been on a plane before.

Really?

How about you?

Where are you goin'?

Uh, I'm going to Spain. Well, for now.

Uh, I don't really know exactly where I'll wind up, either.

So maybe you'll let me borrow your book on the plane.

Oh, hey, take a look at it now.

Yeah, I bought it at a garage sale.

Thanks.

So, where are you sitting on the plane?

Flight 101 to Chicago now boarding at gate 36.

Exotic oils, nuts, fruits and tropical flora,

and protective sunscreens from 2 to 30.

From the sun care line that's number one

in islands around the world, Hawaiian tropic.

Created by one man, Ron Rice, for one reason:

No one can resist a beautiful babe.

The jackpot is now $26 million.

And today's winning lotto numbers are:

33...

33,

42,

42...

58 and 49.

49.

One more time, that's 33, 42,

58 and 49.

No.

No!

Goddamn...

Motherfucking son of a bitch!

Is that good?

Wow.

What does that mean, "wow"?

Well, um,

anything over 51 percent constitutes legal tender

I guess it's over 51 percent

What do you do with the old ones?

Burn them. They take them away, and they burn them up.

Good. I'm glad to hear that.

Ok, there you go.

"D60924029A."

You... you don't sell lottery tickets, do you?

Uh, no.

Next, please.

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