Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the

Open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

That's a long, but you might awaken to a brand new life.

Brand new life. A brand new life. A brand new life.

Angela,

you're such a pinch penny.

Mother, I don't care what you think.

You simply cannot claim having your legs waxed as client entertainment.

You claim having the office floors waxed as a business expense.

Now, what brings in more business? Your floors or my legs?

Well, Mother, if you look at it that way, then I should pay for your clothes

your makeup, and why not... take a week at a health spa and charge it to the

Bauer agency.

Oh, thank you, dear.

See you Thursday.

Guess I told her.

Sam? Honey, can I help you with that?

No, thanks, Angela. I can do it myself.

Just as well. I probably would have dropped it.

Excuse me. What happened? You hurt? Who fell?

Nobody, Dad.

Nobody fell?

No. Samantha, I appreciate you don't make that noise anymore unless

actually falling down the stairs.

Tony, have you seen my black pants?

Yes. They're downstairs in the dryer.

Thank you.

What is going on here?

Oh, sure.

What is this thing?

It's all Bonnie's stuff.

Too bad it wasn't Bonnie's. You can't... Wait, oh, oh, wait. I thought you two

were best friends.

Dad, she chose someone else to be her lab partner.

Oh, juvenile crime. Where will it end?

Very funny. I got stuck doing my chemistry project with Mad Morris

Boy genius. He couldn't just do the assignment. He had to invent new ham

We flunked.

Samantha, your hands are blue, but incredibly soft.

This is all Bonnie's fault.

I am never going to forgive her.

Let bygones be bygones. Forgive and forget, baby.

Right, just like you always do, right, Dad?

Well, I do. It's the way I live my life.

What about Mickey Callahan?

Oh, well, he's different.

He's swamp slime.

Are you kidding me? With all the things he's done to me in school?

But anyway, Samantha...

We got together a few years ago. We straightened that whole thing out.

Oh, what'd you say?

Well, I didn't actually say anything.

It was more of a gesture.

Just like a parent, you tell your kid to do something, you can't even do it

yourself. Oh, yeah, Samantha?

I can't do it? I can do it, Samantha. Watch.

I forgive him.

See? It was easy, and I feel so much better.

Okay. I forgive Bonnie.

That's my girl. You know what I think you should do?

Give her a call. Go ahead.

You know, Dad...

You are right. I think I will, just as soon as you call Old Mac.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe I'm wasting a perfectly good Saturday playing host to old swamp

slime Mickey Callahan.

Tony, you're making peace with your past. You're setting a wonderful example

your daughter. Have you seen the key to the silver cabinet?

Angela, Angela, you don't have to worry about the silver.

He was never into stealing. His big thing was beating people up.

Tony, come on. The man can't be as bad as you remember.

Oh, yeah?

He had a very violent temper.

One time he put a fist right through a plate glass window.

Oh, that must have hurt.

Yeah, it was my fist.

All because I happened to mention that he got left back in kindergarten and

he was a dog -faced potato brain.

Some people are so touchy. Oh, believe me.

That's him, Angela.

I know this is a bad idea.

Tony, everything's going to be fine. I'm sure he's changed.

He's probably grown up to be a perfectly respectable hitman.

You're a priest.

Well, either that or I'm hopelessly out of style.

Come on, come on, Mickey. You're putting me on.

You know, I probably should have told you over the phone, but I had to see the

look on your face.

That one.

You weren't disappointed.

Come in, come in. No, no, not at all. This was better than when I put that

cherry bomb in your lunchbox.

What a little rascal I was.

That's what the DA said.

Come in.

I want to meet my boss. This is Angela Bauer. Angela, this is Mickey.

Well, this is Father... Father Mickey?

Mickey's fine.

Nikki's just fine. Or you can call me your saint at holiness.

Oh, that's very nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you.

All good, I hope.

Oh, of course.

You wouldn't lie to a priest now, would you?

Well, I'm not really Catholic.

Come on, sit down, sit down, sit down.

I tell you.

I did give Tony a tough time when we were kids, but that's all holy water

the bridge.

You know, I don't mean to sound irreverent, but how did this happen?

Isn't the priesthood a little selective?

Well, you know, the church has this thing about redeeming sinners, and I

you the truth, it wasn't easy.

I spent a lot of years searching, questioning, beating people up, but...

I tell you, through the grace of God and my parole officer, I found my calling.

And now I've dedicated my life to helping others. What an inspirational

A wayward boy fighting his way up from the streets to become a man of the

It would make a wonderful miniseries.

You think Richard Chamberlain's available?

It's my daughter.

That was one of our better friends.

Technically, it was a felony.

We got away with murder.

It's just a figure of speech, Angela.

I knew that.

I'll never forget the time you put Alka -Seltzer into the altar wine.

Yeah. I invented the first wine cooler.

Hey, you know, the nuns went and blamed me for that.

Yeah, they did. But I don't want anybody to worry because I got even.

You beat up a nun?

No, no, no.

I stole his clothes out of his locker after the big game.

Wait a minute.

That was you?

I shall not lie.

Children can be so cruel.

Yeah, isn't it fun?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You know, you could have at least left me with a

towel. I had to go home wearing the Daily News.

That must have been some subway ride home, huh? Actually, nobody noticed.

Except this one lady. She kept staring at my business section.

Hey,

come on. We must be boring everybody here with our stories.

Oh, not me.

Mom, can I go to Catholic school?

No.

I mean, we'll think about it.

Hey, Sam, I hope you see that two people can patch up their differences and

become best of friends. Right, Father?

I'm sorry.

Honey, doesn't that make you want to run out and make up with Bonnie? Yeah, as

soon as she joins a convent.

Let me get some of this stuff out of here. Here, I'll give you a hand.

All right.

Oh, Father, please, our guest.

Oh, that's okay, Angela. He's dedicated his life to helping others.

Cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter. Matthew 23, 26.

Oh, well, then ye shall rinse and I shall load. Miss Sally, 852.

You know,

Tony,

I'm really glad we decided to get together.

Yeah. I tell you, it feels really good to talk about old times.

You know...

Confession. It's good for the soul, but hey, that's your gig.

And I'll tell you, it's very purifying, too.

Wait till you hear the one about the eighth grade election.

Wait a minute. Are you talking about the one where I ran for president?

Yeah, remember you put up that big poster that said, Tony is a champ?

Yeah, yeah, and somebody came along and changed it to, Tony's a chimp.

They called me Bonzo for the rest of the year.

I couldn't go anywhere near the monkey bars.

Pretty funny, huh?

What? Come on, don't tell me you didn't know it was me.

I'll tell you the truth. It never occurred to me that you would come up

something so clever.

What do you mean by that?

I mean, it must have taken a lot of thought, and heaven knows that's not

strong suit.

So, uh, what are you saying?

I'm dumb?

No, I'd never say that.

But you don't get left back in kindergarten for being a genius.

Yeah, well, you know, I happen to have a perfectly good reason for that, my son.

You, uh, you flunked Sandbox.

I wasn't dumb, okay? On my record, it just said I happened to have some

underdeveloped social skills.

That's non -talk for dumb.

You haven't changed, have you? You know, because of you, I was taunted and

ridiculed all through school.

But only by the smart kids.

Yeah, well, at least I didn't walk on all fours. Oh.

Well, here's your question.

When did you start counting so high?

You know something? Because of you, I was called every name in the book. They

called me stupid and...

And dum -dum and melon head and... Dog -faced potato brain.

Come on, get up, Banana Brett. What are you, a man or a monkey?

Get up. What's going on?

Father.

Tommy,

are you all right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. He was just blessing my face.

You hit him?

Well, now I don't know very much about... the priesthood, but aren't you

supposed to be nice?

What kind of a priest are you?

Apparently not much of one.

No, no, wait.

Are you okay?

No, I just moved the priest.

Well, let me see. All right, all right. I'll get some ice.

Good. I'll need it where I'm going.

Morning, Angela.

So, do you really think I could wear my skirt with your polka dot sweater?

Yeah, it'll be a great combination.

Just like us.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute here. I thought you two were never going to

speak to each other forever.

It's been a whole week.

You know, Dad, it's just like you said. Let bygones be bygones. I used to be so

smart. Dad, I hope you've learned a lesson from all this. The next time you

a priest potato brain, duck.

Words to live by.

Bye, sweetheart. Bye, girl. Bye.

Come on, Tony. Don't be so down on yourself.

It's not your fault.

Come on. That World War II wasn't my fault.

Candy Spinoza getting pregnant wasn't my fault.

Probably.

hit by Mickey Callahan was my fault. I provoked him. But he's a priest.

He should be able to have self -control.

Angela, not for nothing, but priests are just human.

That's why they got them cold showers in the rectory there, hey?

Well, he has a short fuse. You know, if he hadn't hit you, he might have hit

somebody else. Maybe even a nun.

Yeah. Although she hit him back. Yeah.

And he deserved it. What kind of priest is he anyway?

Yeah.

Mickey Callahan, man of the cloth.

I got socks holier than him, huh?

Hello? Yes?

No, we don't. It's about Father Callahan.

Tell him to call dial -a -prayer.

Last rites?

Oh, God, I killed him.

Father Callahan didn't die. It was Ed O'Shaughnessy. Oh, good. I mean, not

Who's Ed O'Shaughnessy? Some guy who died.

They couldn't find Father Callahan for last rites. Can I have the phone,

Hey, look, pal.

Oh, your eminence.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry that Father Kalyan didn't make Ed's last rites.

Or the orphan's picnic.

Oh, and tonight's the senior citizen's spaghetti dinner, huh? Well, I'm sorry

about that.

Well, sure, I know how to make spaghetti. Are you kidding me? I'm

Yeah, my name's Tony Maselli.

Yeah, I'm the one who put the outer shells in the altar wine.

Okay, see you later.

Well, Angela, looks like we're making spaghetti for the senior citizens. Oh,

I'll make the sauce. I've got a great recipe right here. Angela,

these people are old enough already.

We don't want this to be their last supper. Come on.

Father Callahan has never been this... late before.

You better get here soon. I have to eat.

What's the rush, Ralph? You got a hot date after supper?

After supper, after Ted Koppel, and after breakfast.

Excuse me, folks.

Is this where the spaghetti dinner is? Yeah.

But you're not senior citizens, and you can't have any of our food.

No, no. We're not here to eat, sir. We're here to cook an authentic Italian

spaghetti dinner.

Where's Father Callahan?

Who are you?

And who's the tomato?

Well, thank you. I'm Angela Bauer.

What are you doing after Ted Koppel?

He talks big, but he hasn't scored since the shuffleboard match of 79.

You ought to know.

Don't change the subject.

I want to know what happened to Father Callahan. Father Callahan, he is all

right, isn't he? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fine.

He's never been stronger.

But something important came up and he couldn't make it.

What's more important than spaghetti?

Bran.

Nobody cooks like Father Callahan.

It's not just his cooking.

He listens to us. He helps us out. He's our friend. And he's not a bad little

dancer.

He taught me to play racquetball.

And he doesn't throw the game. I have to beat him fair and square.

And he offered me his kidney.

I don't know why I don't have kidney trouble.

This doesn't sound like the Mickey Callahan you had to fight with.

You had a fight with Father Callahan?

Thank you, Angela.

Oh, no, Tony, don't worry about it. I'll straighten everything out.

You see, it all started when Tony and Father Callahan were friends in school.

Well, they weren't exactly friends. You see, in those days, Tony was Little

Devil.

And Father Callahan wasn't a holy man.

Matter of fact, he was more like a holy terror.

Well, that's just because he was sensitive about being left back in

kindergarten.

You know, I always thought he was a little slow calling out those bingo

And then Samantha, that's Tony's daughter, had a fight with her little

And Tony wanted to send... Please get off.

Then wham, he hit him.

You hit a holy man?

No.

I hit him.

Well, that's subtle. Let's eat.

Father Callahan?

I've come to say goodbye.

What?

I'm not fit to leave this parish.

You can't leave.

Tony. Nick, Nick, wait a minute. Look, I have no choice.

I was given a test last night and I failed. Yeah, we heard you weren't much

student.

Tony, listen to me.

What happened last night between us made me realize I haven't changed.

Who's going to absolve me of all my sins?

You wish.

And what about me? What if my kidneys go? You're carrying my spare.

may I point out that if you leave this parish, this man is going to feel guilty

forever.

Hmm.

That's tempting.

I don't know. I'm just so confused.

If only I knew what his plan was for me.

If only I had a sign.

Hey, Father, where do you want me to put this sign?

That's it. It's a sign.

Yeah, I suppose it is.

He's all -knowing and he's got a sense of humor, too.

Are you staying, Father Callahan?

What do you say, Mick?

Yeah.

You know, Tony, I gotta tell you, Job was tested by plague and pestilence and

boiled, but he never had a deal with you.

Oh, well.

You know, you don't romp in the Red Sea yourself.

Isn't this wonderful? Two old friends reunited.

I think after spaghetti, we should all go out and talk about old times.

Hold it there, Edson. I mean, now that the father and I, the good father and I,

are so close, I think we can agree on one thing, that we shouldn't see each

other anymore.

You're a wise man there, Tony Maselli.

That's why I made it to a kindergarten on the first try. That's all you know.

Bless you, bless you.

Look,

here's a very nice sweater.

Now, why is Tony giving this one away?

Why? It's a victim of teenage violence.

Mother, it's all stretched out of shape.

Not stretched out of my shape.

Should we take this stuff out now?

No, I think we should wait for Tony. He's cleaning out Mom's closet.

What? Well, I'm a very careful shopper. There's nothing in my closet to give

away.

What happened? Who fell?

Nobody.

You scared the living daylights out of us. Oh, sorry.

Dad, don't you ever make that noise again unless you've actually fallen down

stairs. Well, I'm very sorry.

Thank you.