Original subtitles

There is more to life than what you're lit.

Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hit.

Brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail that at the end was you.

There's a path we take and a path not taken. The choice is up to you, my

Died so long, but you might awake to a brand new life, a brand new life, a

new life around the bend.

Come on, Dad, show us what you got.

Set him up in alley one and stand back.

Too bad, Dad. You left a 10 -pin.

Look, look. It's teetering. It's teetering.

Go, go, go, baby. It's going. It's down.

We win the championship.

How did he do that?

It's the shirt, my boy.

Dr. Wittner's drill team.

He named a team after a dentist.

The best bowler on the team, Sam.

And besides, he bought the shirt.

Greetings, friends in scruffy attire. Mona is here for all to admire.

Oh, hey, great, Mona. You decided to go bowling with me after all, eh?

Any other night, Tony. Mona, hey, look, it's your choice. It's either the

glamour and excitement of Madison Avenue's star -studded awards ceremony

couple of sweaty guys rolling strikes and swilling beer.

Oh, well, I promised Angela I'd go with her.

Anyway, she's going to mention me several times in her acceptance speech.

You ready?

I wrote it.

See, the award ceremony is pretty boring, but it's the party afterwards

I'm going to make memories.

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. For Best TV

Commercial, the nominees are a lot of people who don't have a prayer, and this

year's winner of the Maddie, Angela Bowers.

How about a few words for the folks back home, Angela?

It's an honor just being nominated.

Ah, can the humility.

You have earned it, and you want it so bad you can taste it. Admit it.

I am not that competitive a person, Mother.

You still have never gotten over the spelling bee you lost in the third

That was clearly unfair.

They gave me Forsythia, and they gave Beth a laugher like Chrysanthemum.

Sounds like the fix was in.

What nine -year -old can spell Forsythia?

Forsythia. F -O -R -S -Y -T -H -I -A.

Forsythia.

The limousine is here for the Bauer party.

Hmm. Well, this evening's off to a fine start.

I'm Bona.

And this is Angela, my sister.

Well, Tony, keep it out of the gutter. Yeah, you too, Mom.

Jonathan, what are you doing?

Giving Grover a home perm.

Let that set for 20 minutes, then come back and I'll comb you out.

about you, Jonathan.

I just want him to look nice for when Mom brings the trophy home.

There's the limo?

It was an honor just being nominated.

Chicken was a little rubbery, but other than that, it was a lovely ceremony.

You didn't win, Mom?

Shirley Grant won that cow.

Guess what?

Make some room on the trophy table for what followed me home.

Give you one of these babies for losing.

I should get another trophy just for trying to pick it up.

Sam,

you should have seen me. I was terrific.

I mean, I bowled a 240.

240. I threw more strikes than a New York City sanitation worker.

Oh, you guys are so great. How'd you know?

Let's put my trophy right next to your Maddie, huh?

What is your Maddie?

It was an honor just being nominated.

Oh, Angela, you didn't win.

Worse than that, she lost.

To a cow.

You mean Shirley Grant won?

Really, it's not all that important.

It was an honor. Just be naughty.

I really feel bad about this, Angela. Oh, no, don't be silly.

Really, I look on the bright side.

I still have my health.

And I have my lovely family and my lovely home and my friends. The only

you don't have is a trophy.

Thank you for pointing that out, Mother.

Look, Angela, let's think.

of my trophy as our trophy.

Gee, goodness me. This is even better.

It's got wood.

Yes, and plastic.

Yes, and a little man holding a little bowling ball.

Yes, yes.

This is enough trophy for one household. You know, another one would just

clutter up the living room.

Come on, Dad. Tell us all about it and don't leave anything out. All right, all

right. Look, I'll fill you guys in later, but right now, these two have a

party to go to. Oh, no. It's been such a full day. I think I'll call it a night.

Oh, then you don't mind if I make other plans? Not at all.

See ya.

How did he do that?

Off that motor?

You're really going out?

I'm... Sorry, dear, but life and the good times do go on.

Well.

Come on, Dad. I want to hear how you won. Listen, I'm not so sure. You know,

considering I won and you know who, you know what.

Oh, no.

Tony, please. I want to hear about it. I'm happy for you.

How are you really taking this well, Angela? These things happen.

Yeah?

All right, all right, look. It was terrific, all right? As soon as I threw

first strike in the first frame, I had this weird feeling come over me, like

tonight was going to be Tony Mazzelli's night, like it was destiny or something.

Oh, I'm getting goosebumps.

All right, Tony, I'm throwing strike after strike. Boom, boom, they're going

down, and the crowd starts to gather. I'll be like... I could finish this up

later. Maybe next week. No, Tony, please. It's absolutely riveting.

Okay,

now it's the last frame, okay? We need one more strike. All right, so I pick up

my ball. I look down that alley, and I let her go.

I threw the ball so hard, it didn't even have to hit the pins. The pins saw it

coming. Ah, they jumped out of the way.

I knew you'd do it, Tony. And then they presented me, Drake Maselli,

with this.

Which I deserve.

Dad,

let's see how it looks on the trophy table.

Yeah, great.

Is that okay, Angela? Please, of course.

Yeah.

No, this is just what this room needed. I mean, you know, something big,

something bold. Something that says, a winner lives here, huh?

What do you think, Angela?

I hate it.

I hate the table. I hate the trophy. I hate the little man holding the little

bowling ball.

And most of all, I hate your shirt.

Please, be honest.

I'm sorry, Tony.

No, Angela, I'm sorry. I'm going to keep that trophy in my room. I'm going to

keep it in the closet. In the back of the closet.

Gee, Dad, I don't know. The back of the closet is already crammed with trophies.

Remember all those trophies you got from high school and the Rookie of the Year

Award? Oh, and that JC Citizenship Trophy. Excellent.

Inhale. Exhale.

Jonathan, will you help me with this?

All right. It's beautiful.

Ooh, it's heavy. Will you get the... Inhale.

Exhale.

Oh, Tony, I really don't know what came over me. I don't hate the table, and I

really don't hate your trophy.

How about my shirt?

It's lovely.

Well, look, you're just upset because you're lost. Yes, you're right. I am

because of that.

I mean, hey, look, that's the way it's supposed to be, Angela. I mean, when you

win, you feel good. Like me, I feel great.

But, you know, when you, you know... The L word.

I mean, you feel like just a miserable shell of a human being.

Tell me about it. Yeah, you know, like your life isn't worth living.

Right.

Like you want to crawl into a rock and hide.

I'm going to bed.

Hey, wait a minute. I miss a great party?

Tony, I'm new at losing. I just assume being miserable in the comfort of my own

home. Now, wait a minute, Angela. Remember that pep talk you gave me about

winning and losing? Well, I went out there and I won a trophy.

Tony, there are no other trophies for me. Other people have them. Now, that is

the problem.

Angela, let me tell you a little story.

Why are you torturing me?

Angela, when I was 12 years old, I had this good friend, Philly Cartuccio.

And a week before his big birthday bash, he goes and steals my girlfriend, Bambi

Mastrocco.

She was gorgeous and very nice, but mostly gorgeous.

Anyway, I felt as bad as you do.

Maybe not that bad. But I went to his party anyway, and I brought a present.

And that made you feel better?

That and letting the air out of his bicycle tires.

No, Tony, I don't think I can. I don't think I can go to that party. I can't

face all those people.

All those people or Shirley Grant?

I have nothing against Shirley Grant.

That's Sal.

Angela, you've got to go. You've got to go and congratulate her. You know what I

mean? You've got to show the world that even though Angela Bauer doesn't have a

Maddie, she's got something more important. She's got class.

What do you say?

All right,

Angela. Go to bed. See if I care. Good night.

All right, all right, I care, I care, I admit it.

All right, look.

You are the president of Wallace and McQueen. You're the queen bee.

All those little worker bees, they look up to you. I mean it. You gotta go, your

majesty.

I don't know, Tony. All right, all right.

I'll go with you.

What good will that do?

Oh, hey.

They know you're lost. This way they won't think you couldn't get a date.

Okay.

I made an appearance.

You're right. I feel a lot better. Let's go.

Angela, wait a minute.

I haven't even spoken to anybody yet. That isn't part of the deal. Come on.

on. Just be sincere.

I don't think I can.

Sure. Sincerity's easy. Just fake it.

Hello.

Congratulations. So good to see you. Angela, that's the waiter.

Oh, no, that's Charles Brighton. Who's he? He's the president of Brighton and

Bartholomew. He's obnoxious.

Well, then, this is a good chance for you to grow as a person. Go over there

show him some plants. Come on. Go ahead.

Charles, yoo -hoo!

Why, Angela, you are the last person on Earth I expected to see here.

Well, I'm here to celebrate with tonight's winner.

Amazing, considering that you lost.

Big.

Chuck. Angela.

Yes, Angela?

Give my best to Phyllis and the kids.

Uh -huh.

The winner of the first annual Angela Bauer Class Award is... Angela Bauer.

I do have class, don't I? You're voted. You're voted.

There's Shirley Grant.

That heifer. Angela.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I just don't know how a woman with no neck can be creative.

All right, all right, she has a neck.

It's just short.

Which is so often the case with women with thick ankles.

Angela, the board is seriously considering taking back the Angela Bauer

Award. Oh, no, no, no. I can handle this. I really can. I was just

blinded by the hefty bag she was wearing.

Where do you think she got it?

Salvation Army fire sale?

Look, just watch me. I'll show you how it's done. Okay.

Miss Grant, I just want to say congratulations and that the award was

deserved. Thank you.

You're Shirley Grant?

This is Shirley Grant?

Congratulations, Shirley.

Oh, Angela, thank you so much.

Congratulations.

Tony Michelli. Oh, Tony, thank you so much.

Oh, I'm so thrilled.

Oh, so thrilled for you.

Oh, I feel like I'm going to burst.

I feel like I'm going to burst for you.

Oh, here I am, Shirley Grant, New Kid on the Block, winner of tonight's Maddie.

And here you are, Angela Bauer, battle scar veteran of the advertising wars.

Shirley, how about an interview?

Another one? Oh, I hope I haven't run out of clever things to say.

Success.

What a feeling.

Enjoy it.

You did it. I did it. I did it. I do have class, don't I?

Do you see those shoes she was wearing?

So, Lisa,

are you in the ad game, too?

Yes. Maybe you've seen my latest commercial for Super Wax Floor Cleaner.

the one with the great pair of legs that are reflected up in a high -gloss

shine? That's your concept?

No, my legs.

Ah, yeah, well, you know, I didn't recognize him without the mop.

Tony?

Oh, hi, Angela. How are you?

So tell me, Lisa, what else have your legs been in?

Tony?

Excuse me, Lisa.

Stay right here.

Hi.

Gee, where'd you go? I was so worried about you. I went out for some air.

Guess where I found it?

In Shirley Grant's tires.

What? I let the air out of her tires and you were right. I feel wonderful.

What do you mean I was right?

The story was Phil and Bambi and the bicycle.

I was 12 years old, Angela.

And besides, I don't think Shirley came on a bike.

Nope. Yellow convertible. Four flat tires.

I don't believe I'm hearing this.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

I'd like to present to you the winner of this year's Madison Avenue Advertising

Award, Shirley Grant.

I can handle anything she says.

Thank you all.

Winning the Maddie was wonderful.

All I hear is hissing air.

But there is one person, one very special person I must thank.

Let her gush. A person who embodies excellence, both as a professional and

human being. This ought to be good.

Angela Bauer.

Angela, come on up here.

Come on up.

Go ahead. Go chase them.

Do I smell like steel tire air?

Angela,

you taught me everything I know. This award is as much yours as it is mine.

It was an honor just being nominated.

Does she have class or does she have class?

You know, Tony, I've always been a sore loser.

Well, Angela, that's why you're so successful. I mean, hey, you played a

Oh, but Shirley did a great job, and I should be able to recognize that.

Of course, she didn't have to sell rat poison.

Why quibble.

You know, I should march in there, I should order champagne for everybody,

should toast Shirley on her matty. No, no, no, you can't do that, Angela.

Why not?

It's your turn to pump.

Hi. Oh, hi, Mom.

Guess what? I'm going to be in the spelling bee.

Oh, sweetheart, isn't that wonderful?

Wonderful.

W -O -N.

Wonderful. That is great. That's right. You just practice, practice, practice.

Practice. P -R -A -C -T -I -C. Practice.

He has been doing that all afternoon. Please do not encourage him.

Encourage.

E -N -C -O -U -R. Thanks,

buddy. Hey, do me a favor. Put this asparagus in the refrigerator, please.

Asparagus.

Jonathan, you're getting obnoxious.

Obnoxious. O -B -N -O -X -I -O -U -S.

Obnoxious. Jonathan.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, sweetheart.

Sweetheart.