Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Tell them to please. Oh, baby. Goodbye, gray sky.

Hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

So right.

It can't be wrong. Rockin' and rollin'. Oh, no.

Sunday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Roomin' all week with you.

These days are ours.

It's almost 7 .30. If we hurry, I can get in a practice game trying to shake

this slump I'm in.

Oh, Howard, you know, I don't think my bowling bag is going to last another

season. Oh, come on. You say that every year.

See? I told you.

Howard, I know this bowling bag was your mother's, but I want a new one.

Yeah.

You're right, sweetheart.

You can't bowl with bad equipment.

I'll tell you what, you can have my bag and I'll get a new one.

All right,

that's just fine, Howard.

And you can fix your own breakfast for the rest of your life.

Okay, Marion, you can have a new bowling bag.

I'll get a new ball.

Come in.

Come in.

Casey, you don't have to knock. You live here now.

Well, the last time I barged in here, you and Aunt Marion were being

affectionate.

You better get used to that because we happen to be a very affectionate couple.

Not tonight, Howard.

Oh, Casey, come here, dear. I left some cold chicken for you in the

refrigerator. Thank you.

Uncle Howard, I know you're going to come out of that nasty bowling salon.

Spread it all over town, why don't you?

You know, Howard, have you noticed how every weekend we go out and Casey stays

home alone doing nothing?

What do you mean, nothing? Last Saturday night, she ironed all my shirts.

Exactly.

Here, sweetheart, meet me out in the car and I'm going to have a little talk

with her. Now?

Oh, there goes my practice game. Now I've got to bowl cold again tonight.

Now, don't kid yourself, Howard. Cold or hot, you're not going to break 150.

You just blew a new bowling bag, Mary.

Seeing home tonight just to iron Uncle Howard's shirt. Oh, heavens no. Tonight

I'm baking bread.

We appreciate all these things you do for us. Uncle Howard loves those fishing

lures you made for him.

But, Casey, dear, sweetheart, you're 17 years old. It's time you started dating.

Oh, Aunt Mary, and I couldn't do that.

Oh, I wouldn't know the first thing about dating.

See, at girl school, we never were allowed to be alone with a boy.

But what would I do if one tried to kiss me?

Oh, Casey, boys, there's nothing to be afraid of. Oh, gosh, I remember my first

date. Lyle Spedding took me to a church picnic.

Oh, and I wanted to look really special. You know, I got this long fall, which I

wore up in a bun on the top of my head. You know, I look kind of like Mary Astor

in Across the Pacific.

Well, when the time came to open up our box lunches, I was so nervous. And when

I looked down into mine, the fall took a header into the potato salad.

How awful for you. No.

Lyle had my fall dry cleaned, and we spent the most wonderful summer

So, the next time a nice boy asks you out, you just go for it. Just go for it,

huh? Oh, Aunt Mary, I can't.

Daisy, dear, I can't promise you that this first day is going to be perfect.

You know, but it would be so foolish to miss out on all that fun and going out.

You know, life is a parade, and you're walking in back of the elephant.

Dear, you should just please give it a try.

Oh, I'll give it a try.

Oh, good.

Aunt Marion, I want to thank you so much. My mother would have appreciated

little conversation we had. Oh, that's so sweet of you, dear. I'm sure your

mother doesn't need any advice from me.

of stock car races and vandalism?

Well, Arnold is going to take care of you. Just remember, this Saturday night

our first annual Arnold's Gala Costume Extravaganza.

We're going to have free prizes.

We got a great band.

We got crepe paper.

We're going to have some kind of fun. You get to dress up silly. I get a new

freezer. And tickets are only $5.

This is not going to be some little sock hop. I'm even springing for a mirror

ball. All

right,

there's TC over there. Go ahead.

Well, you can ask her out or not. I can't.

Just look at her. She's so beautiful.

I've been taking her shoes off in my mind.

You're going to ask her out? Just thinking about it makes me dizzy.

It's no use.

I've been turned down more times than the sheets at the Holiday Inn.

KC's different, man. I mean, she's new and down.

Yeah, she doesn't know you.

Oh, yeah.

That's right. She doesn't know me. Here, Tommy, hold my glasses. Go for it,

Tommy.

You got some back.

Straight ahead, the guy. Go get her. All right.

Excuse me. Is anybody standing here?

Melvin, this spot is reserved for members of the human race.

This won't take long. Good.

Hi. I don't believe you know me, but... Aren't you Melvin, Belvin?

Hey, fellas, you were wrong. She does know me.

She knows me.

My life isn't worth living.

There we were, right? Yeah, right. We finished our picnic lunch. We were lying

back in that tall, green grass.

Yeah. Feeling the effects of the water. Right, right, right. And I looked out.

It was such a hot day. All right, now slow down, slow down. All right. I

out, and I saw that cool lake, and it seemed so refreshing. Yeah.

And, well, we didn't have our swimming suits.

Yeah, and it's now really slow down.

Uh,

where was I?

We didn't have our swimming suits.

Right, right.

So, well, we looked at each other, and we said, why not, right? Yeah, right,

right, right. So we did it.

You did it. We did it.

let you?

Of course.

Plus, look, maybe you and I could double date next weekend.

I wouldn't want to cramp your style, though.

Welcome to my office. I've been expecting you.

You have?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Everybody comes round here begging for help. I know you'd be here sooner or

later. Wait.

This is amazing. You mean you're actually going to help me? Will you even

a date for Saturday night?

Well, then I could get you a date that would correct your vision.

Cowabunga!

But I won't.

Get me off my desk.

Help. Help.

Please, get your head out of there, will you?

Now listen to me, all right?

If a man... he's hungry, I give him a can of tuna, he's had a meal.

If I teach him how to fish, he'll never go hungry again.

But Fuggs, I'm allergic to seafood.

Try very, very hard not to say anything unless I ask you a question.

Now, the thing is that you lack a positive self -image, which is up here.

understand? Now, everybody's got a viewmaster in their brain.

I want you to split through your viewmaster.

Pick a subject.

What kind of weather are we talking about?

Mainly drizzle.

This is like, uh, Rembrandt working with Crayolas.

All right, all right, listen.

Click the picture.

Now you see a hurricane nobody can resist. A hurricane.

Hey! Hey, hey, fun!

Yeah? You won't believe what's going on in here. Tell me about it. But I'm a

giant hurricane, see? And the palm trees are swaying, and I'm sweeping girls off

their feet, and I'm destroying Miami!

Nobody can resist the fury of a hurricane.

That's right. I'm a hurricane.

I'm a hurricane.

I'm a hurricane.

I'm a hurricane.

Oh, do I miss my conversations with Richie?

Hurricane.

Tracy, there's something I'm going to ask you.

Yes, Melvin?

Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the costume

Saturday night?

Yes. I mean, no, I can't. Maybe some other time. Yes, like when Haley's Comet

comes around again.

Look here, K .C. Cunningham.

I'm a man. You're a woman. This is a table. And I'm your date. So I'll pick

up Saturday night at 8.

How about that?

I guess I'm going out on my first date.

Oh, look on the bright side. Hey, it's a costume party. He'll probably be

wearing a mask.

airs on The Jackie Gleason Show and is never seen again.

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Didn't I fire you?

Didn't I fire you yesterday?

Haven't I fired you every day this week?

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I want you out.

It's the Raisin Bran with Crunch.

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Well, that does it, Marion.

We just blew the 7 .15 showing of To Kill a Mockingbird.

Dear, dear, we can't leave until Casey's date picks her up. We'll go to the 7

.30 show at the Majestic. I don't want to see another Gidget movie.

Besides, it's not the same Gidget anymore.

Over again? Yes. Will you hurry up, please, Marion?

We missed Gidget. We have to go see Son of Flubber.

She'll be right down.

Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Keep your feet off the table. The

kitchen is closed and she's got to be home by 11.

Oh, that's fine because I have to be home at 10 .30.

Casey, Captain Whizbang is here.

You better get a move on it.

Come on, come on. This is it. Now, don't be nervous.

Oh,

Melvin, does she look

adorable?

Well, Melvin... Well, Howard, what did you do with Casey's date?

Well, he was standing right here.

And the bell...

Yeah, you picked up a very interesting costume. You put on cologne. It was time

to pick up your chick. You chickened out.

And you came here for a booster.

That's right.

That's like buying a Playboy magazine and only reading the interview.

I didn't think you'd understand, Fonz.

See, you never felt a thing of rejection because no girl's ever said no to you.

Don't be silly. First time I ever dated Ashley Fitzgerald, she chased me out of

her apartment with a baseball bat.

Now listen, you're a hurricane, right?

Go out there and blow.

And straighten your seams, will you?

Fonz. Yo.

Thank you.

You know, no one has ever taken the time to listen to my problems before.

Not my parents, not my teachers, not even my Filipino pen pal.

Fonz. Yeah.

I love you.

your little secret, all right?

Oh, Aunt Mary, it's really okay.

I did not want to go to that party anyway.

Oh, fiddlesticks, you're going to that party.

Well, just throw a sheet over your Uncle Howard and he'll take it.

It's your date.

He can't dance, he can't talk, and his seams are crooked.

Well, at least it's a nice party.

Ginny, I'm just sorry that you don't have a date tonight.

Oh, Cinderella does not intend to leave this ball without her prince.

No, you know how these parties go.

Some couple will get into a fight, and I'll just pick up the guy on a rebound.

The extravaganza's almost over and I still haven't asked you to dance.

You're not going to ask me to dance, are you?

What a great idea. Let's cut a rug.

Thank you, gentlemen and

Clarence. Well, that's it for tonight, folks. I just want to remind you that

had a very good time.

And I want to thank you for my new freezer.

Now, next Saturday night, we're going to have another big dance because my car

needs a new fuel pump.

Good night. Good night, everybody.

Good night.

Hey, Tommy, going out to Inspiration Point tonight?

Yeah, I suppose so. I don't think I'm going to get very far with my date

tonight.

Are

we

going to Inspiration Point?

What's Inspiration Point?

That's a place where guys and gals go to kiss their lips off.

Oh, I'd rather go home.

She wants to go to her place.

Looks like Hurricane Melvin's about to touch down.

Uncle Howard?

Aunt Marion?

Doesn't look like anybody's home.

What kind of guy do you think I am? I'm not going to leave you here on your

lonesome.

So, do you have any hobbies?

I collect bugs.

Oh, good.

That must be fascinating.

Tell me all about it.

Well, there's not much to it. You just catch them, kill them, and pin them to a

board.

in Milwaukee.

Uh -oh.

My hormones are on roller skates.

Pucker up, my little rodent. No!

It's my job. I think you're hurting him anyway. Get up here.

Get down here.

I can't believe this.

Oh, it's all my fault. I forced Casey to go out. Oh, gosh.

I mean, every day again.

I was only doing what you told me to. I didn't know it was Casey.

See, it was like the Wizard of Oz. He came to me for courage. I should have

given him a brain.

It's all right, because he learned his lesson. It's all right. He'll never do

this again. I'm going to kill him. Not in the house. You can take him outside.

Of course not. No!

to you, but I'm very glad that I went out tonight.

I was afraid I wouldn't know how to handle myself with a boy alone, but I

I did pretty good.

Really? So you don't hate me? You'll go out with me again, huh? No. Okay, just a

minute.

Finals are coming up in two months, and we can study together.

Wow! A study buddy!

Dreams really do come true.

Fonz, Fonz, I...

Remember our secret.

Oh, good night.

Oh, what a strange boy.

Well, I guess I'm playing daddy again.

Oh, Casey, come on upstairs. I want to hear what everybody was wearing.

Fonzie. Yes?

Do you mind if I ask you something? No.

Why in the world would you help out anyone like Melvin Belk?

Why would you hire someone like Patsy Webber?

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Oh, after all the excitement tonight, it sure was nice of you to fix us a little

snack. Oh, it was nothing. Just a little something I just whipped up for you.

Oh, this looks wonderful.

Blow

it

out.

You know, some people just have chocolate chip cookies with their milk.

Boy, it was sure good that you and Uncle Howard showed up when you did.

Otherwise, I might have had to hurt Melvin.

Oh, you know, it was all my fault when we had our little talk about dating. I

forgot to tell you that some boys aren't quite as nice as they should be. They

really aren't.

How did you handle it when a boy would get a little bit...

Too frisky. Yeah, frisky. Well, I would just look him in the eye and I would

say, if you want a girl who's fast, her love won't last.

If you want a girl who's nice, manners are the price.

And that worked?

It stunned him long enough for me to make my getaway.

I don't care what you've read in your history book.

Abel Lincoln's an animal.

Goodbye, great sky. Hello, boo.

She's accused of stealing another girl's bike, gets glasses, smashes the family

portrait, and then hocks her own bike. A bad day even by Jan Brady standards.

Brady Bunch number 62 is coming up next on TV Land. Stay tuned.