Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, the cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy and free. Oh, happy days.

These days are ours.

Share them with me. Oh, baby. Oh, black, gray sky, yellow, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you. Oh, it's all right.

It can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin'. Oh, no.

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

These days are ours.

It still looks the same.

Tony, we've only been gone for three months.

What did you expect, erosion?

Oh, it seemed like an eternity.

This is the worst summer I've had since my parents sent me to convent camp.

Tony.

Please don't ever leave me again. Oh, Jenny, I miss you.

Joanie, Joanie, Joanie, don't start getting misty on me, all right?

Because you're going to blow everything.

You've got to go in there. You've got to convince your parents that you'll come

back and live in Chicago.

That's easy for you to say. You don't have to tell them. I know it's going to

hard, but don't worry about it.

I'm going to be behind you every inch of the way, all right?

Just remember the game plan.

Go in there and fight.

Yeah. All right, Joanie, let's do it.

soldier in the best years of our lives didn't make this big a fuss.

What are you doing here? You're telling your parents you're going back to

Chicago? Are you kidding?

I wouldn't miss this for a weekend with the Green Bay Packers as their towel

girl.

She always grows in the summertime.

Hey, Johnny, I bet your folks are just dying to hear all the great, great

that happened to us in such a short, short time. That's right, yeah.

Me, me too.

Oh, please, everybody, let's sit down and tell us everything.

Well, everything that you can tell your parents. Well, it's been like a fairy

tale. One minute we're playing at Arnold's, and then all of a sudden we're

toast of Chicago.

Oh, no, Windy City.

What a great town.

That's my...

I'm Keeley Smith.

Who?

Oh, black magic has me in its belt. That old black magic cannot leave the world.

Ah, Joni, Joni, we are so thrilled. You have no idea how tough a decision it was

for us to let you go to Chicago this summer. I know. But we're sure glad we

We sure are.

Yeah, we let her be out on her own and really learn all about life, huh? Oh, we

certainly did, Howard. Yeah, and now that she's got that out of her system,

she's back home here where she belongs. I'm so glad we did that for her.

Now,

listen, you kids take Joanie's things up to her room and I'm going to fix you a

nice welcome home breakfast.

You guys have

just got them eating out of the palm of your hands, I can see.

Joanie, I'll give you a call a little bit later.

Oh, what's the hurry?

You're not going anywhere.

Back home where she belongs.

Why didn't you say anything?

Oh, no, Joyce, they were so happy I grew a half inch.

It just didn't seem like the right time, you know?

Well, I'll tell them at lunch.

Maybe dinner.

You know something? You were right.

Nothing at all has changed around here.

You still get the death of your parents.

I am not.

they're going to ride home and ship with cars.

Arnold burger and fries, onion rings. That's better.

Let me see.

How are the pigs in the blanket prepared?

We don't got them.

Yes, you do.

No, you don't.

That's right.

Yo, Pop. Hey, look, please.

Tell me that my garage is all right. You tell me. Mrs. Johnson came in. She

wanted to ask him in on the rear end, you know.

I was in a good mood, so I took one look at her, and I said, about 220 pounds.

Oh, Bob, the movie can't take a joke.

You think she's big. You ought to see her husband, and you probably will.

All right, Clarence, listen up. I want an Arnold burger, I want fries, and I

want some onion rings.

What are you going to traffic court for? I've got to take care of some parking

tickets. You don't go to traffic court to get your parking tickets. You do when

you've got 300 of them.

How do you get 300 of them? Think about it, Barnes.

All right, get out of here.

All right, you lucky guys.

You bust.

You wait. You cook.

You can't make me cook. It's butter nothing.

Come on. Come on, Fonz. We're not in class. You can't make us do anything.

I love to cook.

Good. Fonz.

I need your help.

You need my help? I got no leg. I'm teaching auto shop to idiots.

I got a head of young men working for me in the garage.

And I'm reduced to waiting on tables. And do you know the people that eat in

here are lousy tippers?

Fine, that's not important now.

You gotta do me a favor.

You have to come to dinner time straight now, Mr. and Mr. C.

Because if you don't, my life is over. You see, the Joyce parents make the same

Milwaukee, right? And I'm in Chicago.

And we're gonna drift apart.

And she'll wind up marrying some doctor or some lawyer. And my life will go

straight down the tubes.

And then in a couple years, you know what might happen to me? You might find

in a drunken stupor, France.

Peeking through the bushes of her front yard.

and watching Joanie and little Bucky and little Buffy and wishing that I could

have shared some of that happiness.

You're right. Your life is worse than mine. I'll be there. Thank you. You've

to do me a favor, though. What? Don't you name your kids Bucky and Buffy.

So

the

bartender says, hey, we don't get many gorillas in here. And the gorilla says,

at these prices, I don't doubt it.

Tell the joke like your father, Johnny.

Now. All right.

Mom, Dad, I'd like to discuss something with you.

Now, I've given this a lot of thought, and I hope that instead of yelling and

screaming, we can talk this over maturely and intelligently.

Well, that's not too much to ask. Just don't talk with your mouth full.

At the beginning of the summer, I was just a silly little high school girl.

Well, I'm not the same little girl anymore.

I've grown up.

A full house?

That's right.

I've grown.

We've started a real career in Chicago, and I think the best thing for me to do

is stay there.

Well?

Well, Joanie, I'm a little disappointed that you'd think we'd just fly off the

handle and rant and rave like Khrushchev at the U .N.

You see that? You're worried about nothing. As far as you're staying in

I mean, we could talk about it until we're blue in the face, and the answer's

still going to be no.

Now who wants ice cream on their pie?

Mom. That's one.

That's two.

Mom. Dad.

I'd appreciate it if you would keep an open mind and hear me out.

Joanie, you're barely out of high school. You're just too young to be

yourself. Sweetheart, it is time for you to start thinking about an education.

I agree 100%, Mr. C.

Joanie's already enrolled in college. Oh, sure. One of those correspondence

schools she found in the back of a matchbook. No, no.

Northwestern University.

Oh, Howard, that's a school you couldn't get into.

I would have, Marion. It just so happens my transcripts were late.

Now, we're not talking about me.

Now, look, who do you expect to pay for your education, huh? No one. I pay for

my tuition with the money I made last summer.

Howard. Marion. Well, now that that's all settled, I think I will have some

cream I'd like to drink.

Johnny, you've made a very good case for yourself.

But you have to understand that your mother and I have your best interests at

heart. So you will go to Chicago over my dead body.

How can you do this to me?

We're your parents. It's our job.

But you haven't heard a word I said.

Johnny. Johnny, let me handle this.

And I love this woman.

And she's mine now.

And she doesn't need your permission to do anything anymore. Sit down, Chuck.

Yes, sir.

Now, look.

He's my boyfriend, and he can stand up if he wants to. Stand up.

See? He understands.

And he'd never be as selfish as you're being right now. Out of my way, Marion.

Now, that's enough out of that fresh mouth of yours, young lady. You go to

room.

Please, Cunningham, you go to your room right now and you wipe that lipstick off

your face. No, I'm tired of being treated like a baby. Well, then stop

like one. Oh, Dad, I was acting like a baby. I don't care. She's not going to

come home. Start telling her.

You heard all that.

Mutual corners.

Mutual corners.

I am outraged.

This is not a Brazilian soccer match here.

This is supposed to be a nice family convo done with rational and intelligent

talking. I am through talking.

Now, I have asked my daughter to go to her room, and I would appreciate it if

she'd do what she's told.

No, no, no, no.

Jones, I don't think anybody is saying, go to your room, go to your room.

Why don't you just go to your room until this whole thing just blows over, huh?

Nobody's going to tell me what to do anymore. Not you, not them.

If you think I'm going to my room right now, I'm not.

I say this calls for action and now

nip it in the bud.

You got to nip them things in the bud.

I'm going to get my bud nipper and go over there and nip some bud. One way to

take care of it. Nip it in the bud. That bud is nipped. There's no place like TV

land. Nip it.

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I'm gushing about what a genius I am.

Just make like Dorothy and hit the yellow brick road.

Jenny, splitting isn't going to solve anything.

And locking yourself in the bathroom is.

Well, as long as I'm up here, do you have any nail polish remover? Sure.

Joni, can I come in?

I'm alone.

Mom, I told you, I'm never going to my room again.

I realize that, dear, after your father threatened to smoke you out.

Please, dear.

All right.

I brought you everything that you're going to need. Here's your PJs and some

bedding and Flaxseed Morgan.

Mom, I haven't slept with Flaxseed Morgan for years.

Listen, that's great.

Oh, really? You two used to be so close.

Do you remember that year we would have to lake Whitefish and we forgot him? And

you cried and cried and locked yourself in the outhouse?

And your father drove all the way back to fetch him.

He was really P .O.

Glad she still had eyes then.

That doesn't seem so long ago.

Mom, do we have to argue about this?

Oh, Joanie.

It's you and your father. You just cut from the same cloth.

I've never met two more stubborn people.

Whereas Richard takes after Martha and the family. Same disposition and hair

coloring.

Do you really think what I want to do is so wrong?

No, I agree with you. And I agree with your father.

See, I love you both so much. I don't want anybody to get hurt.

I want you to go to Chicago.

And I want you to be home, too.

Well, good night, dear.

I love you.

I love you.

Very middle class.

Fancy, if you intend to start up about Joanie, let me remind you that you rent

here on a month -to -month basis.

First thing from my mind?

Not back and forth, Mr. C. Little circus.

Little circus.

Well,

there's nothing like the smell in the car.

Make a man feel alive.

Well, after all those years driving a huge DeSoto, I...

I thought I deserved something sportier.

So what happened?

Kidding. Kidding.

You're my idol, Mr. C. You keep this in mint condition.

It's fabulous.

Change the oil every 3 ,000 miles.

I do my best. Yes, you do.

So how come you let your daughter lock herself in a bathroom two days in a row?

That just proves she's not mature enough to be out on her own.

You didn't give her any of the choice.

Get back upstairs. No, I'm staying.

This has as much to do with me as it does with Johnny.

I'm not budging through this whole thing.

Shut up.

If you don't mind, I'd just like to finish waxing my car.

Hey, look, I'm just a tenant here, I understand. You don't want to talk about

it, Mr. C. I do not want to talk about it.

In a few minutes, you're going to step back from this car. You're going to

admire your job. How it sparkles, how it shines.

Don't you think it's time to step back and take a look at your daughter and see

how she sparkles and shines?

What are you driving at?

When this job is done, you can rub it, you can polish it till your elbow falls

off. Am I right? And it ain't going to get any brighter. The same thing is true

of your daughter.

Mr. C, you have done a great job being a parent.

You should be proud.

You should be happy, not sad.

You should step back and see how she sparkles like a jewel.

Mr. C.

I appreciate what you're saying, Fonzie, but I think I know what's best for my

daughter. Indeed you do. You are a great dad.

It's real important to know whether you're doing what is best for Joanie or

whether you're doing what is best for you.

Mary, do you think we're doing the right thing about Joanie?

Of course, Howard. We have to feed her.

There's no meat in here.

Joanie, it's me, your father, remember?

Joanie, will you please open this door? I'd like to talk to you.

It's your dime.

I can't talk to you with those on. You look like a sea bass.

Look, Joanie, I don't know whether you've ever noticed, but sometimes

I can be a little stubborn.

You didn't have to come in here to tell me that. Well, I know I didn't have to,

but I wanted to.

You see, this has not been an easy time for your mother and I, and I guess maybe

we...

Been a little selfish.

It's just that I keep remembering the day you were born when the nurse put you

in my arms and you were my little girl.

So pink and so little.

I didn't want to let go.

I still don't.

But I look at you now and I realize that we can't hold you any longer. So

your mother and I, we want you to go to Chicago and knock them dead.

I didn't mean to grow up.

I know you didn't, sweetheart.

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Goodbye,

sweetheart.

Now, if ever you need anything, we'll be right here.

You always help us.

And always wear clean underwear.

A t -shirt and a bus.

Marion, it's time to let go.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Okay,

bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Next on the Brady Bunch, Jim Backus guest stars, but not as the ghost town

Now he's Mike's boss, Mr. Matthews, who up until this episode was named Mr.

Phillips and played by another guy.

Stay tuned for episode 116, The Hustler.