All language subtitles for Ride.Or.Die.2025

This programme contains scenes which
some viewers may find upsetting

Motorcycle racing
is a dangerous sport.

But motorcycle road racing is
one of the most dangerous of all.

COMMENTATOR: Oh, he's off!
Oh, my goodness!

Champions,

veterans, newcomers.

All with just three months to
prepare for one of the fastest

road races on the planet -

the North West 200.

The thing they love the most...

FEMALE VOICE: That feeling of being
on a motorbike.

It's like nothing else.

..is the thing that puts them
most at risk.

Being that close to tragedy,

that's what
we chase as an adrenaline junkie.

What happens when riders come
face-to-face with their

own mortality?

You put your hand in the fire enough
times, you are going to get burned.

Racers and their families weigh up
the consequences every time

they choose to compete.

When you get on the bike, do you
not think of, what if?

Are these riders risking death?

Or are they truly living?

Oh, my God!

Do you really understand
what living is

if you never
put your life at any risk?

MINISTER: Though I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil.

For you are with me.

Your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

BELL TOLLS

Every year, the biking community
comes together for a memorial

service in Clones, County Monaghan,

to remember those who
lost their lives as a result

of a motorcycle accident.

An opportunity for their loved
ones to show

support for each other in a
time of grief.

So God bless us,

God be with us,

God please bring us
into that place of faith

and hope where we leave this place
knowing that one day,

we will be reunited with those

who we love and who we miss
this day.

It is held weeks
before the North West 200...

..the largest road racing
event in Ireland.

Every May, around 100 road
racers from across the world

make the pilgrimage to Northern
Ireland's North Coast

to take part in one of the sport's
fastest and most dangerous events.

The North West 200, in terms
of spectators,

can rise to over 100,000.

The largest single sporting
event in Ireland.

For nearly a century,

the race has been held in a place
with deep religious roots,

and devoted to road racing.

Reverend John Kirkpatrick is the
race chaplain for the

Motorcycle Union Of Ireland -

a role unique to Irish road racing.

There are riders who come for whom
their Christian faith is very

important to them

and for them, just adds
so much more to their sport.

You are there to give that support
to everyone whether they have

faith or no faith, or whatever
they are, it doesn't really matter.

We are concerned for people.

Reverend John's role as chaplain is
supporting injured riders

and bereaved families.

NEWSREADERS: Road racing this week
has claimed the life of one rider

and left two others
critically injured.

This weekend's big event has been
marred by accidents.

..struck a telephone pole after
coming off his bike

at up to 120 miles an hour.

Here we have an extreme sport
where people will

place their lives at great risk.

Risk brings in the question
of the sanctity of life.

I am conflicted over
the moral issues

and questions
involved in this sport.

There are riders who have had
near fatal accidents who could not

wait to get back to the sport.

I would be very surprised
if they hadn't some questions

in their mind as to the reality of
this is painful

and is this worth it?

If you're old enough to understand
life and death, right,

and someone says to you, you can
live to 45,

get to do what you want as your
dream job and that's it,

you are out at 45,

or you can live to 75 or 80,

graft your whole life,

but never really do what you strive
to achieve, what would you pick?

I've already picked it, haven't I?

Northern Irish road racer
Lee Johnston has been racing

professionally for more
than ten years.

I don't know
if you believe in God or not

but I think people believe in things
to get them through things.

He's a champion racer and five-time
winner of the North West 200.

See how big the actual trophy is?

He lives in Huddersfield with
his wife Christie and son Jesse.

Hi, everybuggy!

Do you want to
say hello to everyone? Yeah!

Did you miss them because we haven't
been at bikeland?

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another
vlog. This...

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Seen as an influencer in the
road racing world, Lee shares

behind-the-scenes footage of life
as one of its international stars.

With some of his videos being viewed
hundreds of thousands of times.

We live together. Work together.

He's very stubborn once
he gets summat in his head.

He's very driven.

But for me,
it's all I've ever known him do

because I think it's like, it's just
part of him, ain't it?

Did you say when you were 30 you
were retiring from road racing?
No, 35.

I think it was 30 and then I think
you nudged...

No, it wasn't!
We only met when I was 27!

Yeah I'm sure you said 30. No!

You're exaggerating!

At the North West 200 in 2023,

things didn't go to plan for Lee
during his first practice lap.

Before the crash,
everything was fine.

I go through all the same
routine, warming up, preparing.

I was in the best shape.

I've no recollection of any of this.

I've got none of my own memories,
just the same as watching

a movie.

I think what's done the damage with
the bike, the bike hit me.

And then squashed me to the kerb.

CRUNCHING, GLASS SHATTERS

I broke my foot in multiple places.

Femur.

Ribs on both sides.

Then collapsed my lung.

MARSHALS CHECK STATUS

Broke my shoulder, my cheekbone.

My left knee down was the only,

sort of, limb that didn't have

some sort of injury.

Yeah.

With the 2024 North West 200 just
three months away...

That must be me trying to send you
the phone number.

..the reality that Lee might be
racing there again is starting to

set in for Christie.

The North West is one that I'm not
going to be able to

walk into that paddock
and just not have any emotions.

If I went to the North West

and had a bit of a wobble,
I just think I'd really struggle.

Before his crash,

every year between the North West

and the TT, we'd come
home for, like, a week.

And my friends and family are like,
if I'd seen them or anything,

they'd all be like, "Christie,
you look terrible."

Like, "You've lost weight in a week,
you look terrible."

And like, even that, on a normal
when he hasn't crashed,

or hasn't experienced
anything like that, I'd struggle.

I just basically said to him,
you know, "I can't,

"I'm not a robot,
I can't do everything,

"and I've just
got to kind of like protect."

I need to be mentally
strong as well,

because if I'm not, then it's just
going to make life harder for him.

So, yeah.

North West, no,
just because there's trauma there.

After nine months of recovery
Lee crashed again

and broke his right leg.

He's been invited onto a road racing
podcast to update fans

on his progress.

No-one wants to talk about winning
races any more.

They talk about getting injured,
and then getting injured again.

Right, are we ready? Yeah.
We're live, we're loud, we're sexy.

On that note, welcome back
to the podcast, Lee Johnson.

If you are living under a rock,
Lee is now hurt again.

He's got a cage on his leg.

Can you lift it up?
Oh, I've actually got my snood on!

Since your North West crash,
pretty heavy stuff.

Is that something you want
to talk about? Yeah, yeah.

This is my job, this is what
happens, I'm paid to push.

And we sign up for it, do you
know what I mean? Yeah,

we know what's going off,
don't we? Yeah.

So what is your attitude
to this season?

I want to be back
for the North West. That's the aim.

We've got less than three months
to get ready for the North West.

I have to believe I'm going
to be ready in time, like.

Maria Costello MBE has been racing
motorbikes for 30 years

and is one of the most successful
women ever to compete in the sport.

Taking on the boys is
nothing new for Maria Costello.

She made her debut
on the north coast in 2005,

having caught the road racing bug.

I look at pictures and go,
oh, that's cool.

I go, oh, that is actually you,
Maria, you idiot.

That's Maria the bike racer.

It's a funny thing.
Am I her every day? I don't know.

It seems like a long time ago,
a lot of this.

30 years this year.

It's bonkers, isn't it?

I didn't see myself
as a defiant child.

Looking back, yeah, because it
caused all sorts of aggro. Poor Mum.

But in 2023,
Maria lost her mum to cancer.

She had been caring for her mum
during the last few years

of her illness.

Mum pushing to stop me
did make me want it more.

The more she pushed,
the more I pushed back.

The more I wanted it.

It's funny how that works, isn't it?

I thought she was trying to take
something away from me.

She was trying to protect me.

You just don't see that at the time,
when you're young.

My mum was just terrified
of anything that could hurt

her daughter, I suppose.

Rightly so.

Maria has just three months
until the North West.

But she is taking time out of her
preparation to sort through

some of her mum's belongings.

This is quite a picture.

I don't know what
it is about when you crash.

You're always happier
if somebody's captured it!

I have broken over 24 bones.

The worst being my femur twice.

30 years in,
after all these broken bones,

I feel really lucky that I've got
something in my life that I love.

It obviously gives me
something that I need.

Road racing makes you
believe in luck.

But I don't...

..I don't think about a God.

I understand that it probably
would give people comfort.

Because it's community.

But I think my community is racing.

Construction worker Kevin Keyes
has been racing motorbikes

since he was seven years old.

He works with his dad Rowan,

who also shares
a passion for motorbikes.

COMMENTATOR: Very
determined-looking Kevin Keyes, what
a cracking start.

He's going to be absolutely
delighted to come home

and lift the Leinster 100 trophy.

But racing on custom-made
circuits is different

to racing on public roads.

COMMENTATOR: That rider is
completely OK, he hasn't crashed.

I go to work on the daily, you know,
drive a digger, finish concrete.

That's boring! You know?
Real life is boring, isn't it?

Like, it's... What do you do?

You go to work, you go to sleep,
you go to the gym.

I don't understand the people
that don't have something to chase.

I don't understand what
they're getting from life.

But they're obviously getting
it from something else.

But they probably don't understand
why I do what I do.

This year, Kevin will be trying
road racing for the first time.

When I look at the road racers,
I get a big buzz standing watching.

And I'm like, "Oh, that's class."
You know?

Being that close to,
it's a scary word to say,

but tragedy, that's what
we chase as an adrenaline junkie.

How much more can we get?

Yeah, this is my
St Christopher medal,

and my sister bought me this
when the news broke out

that I was going
to go road racing and, uh...

..just to keep me safe.

Them little things mean a lot to me,
you know?

Since she gave it to me
I haven't taken it off,

and I won't be taking it off.

Kevin lives nearby his childhood
home with his partner, Sarah.

Both are devout Catholics.

They have one son called Kayden.

And his new venture
is a focus for the whole family.

Hmm?

Erm, no. I don't.

Definitely not.
It's not my choice.

I find it weird because I'm like,

"You're not thinking
of your family.

"You're not thinking
of if something happened."

I feel like, wow, that's just crazy,
you know?

He's doing something that
brings him so much peace,

but it's causing me
so much worry and stress.

And it's one of the most stressful
times in my life not knowing,

like, is he going to be OK?
Is he going to come back?

Adrenaline is a mad drug. Like,
what it does to your body is crazy.

Will I bring you for a drive?
Yeah. You rev it.

Like I remember even, like,
racing with injuries, you know?

You'd be barely able
to put your glove on.

But as soon as that adrenaline
gets pumping through your body,

you don't feel your wrist any more.
And you don't feel any pain.

But you come back in and you're back
to hurting. That's what I mean.

Getting in that mind frame, getting
in that bubble. Everything goes.

Physical pain, emotional pain.
It's just... It's an amazing place.

You're sitting in your
car doing 80km an hour,

and that's the speed limit.

But they close that road
and you get on a bike,

you can do 200 miles an hour
down there.

It's...it's madness, isn't it?

But I can't wait to see
what the madness is about!

Good racing!
Are we going to race? Yeah.

Will we go one more time? Yeah.

The confliction people have is
right from the very beginning.

If you begin on the short-circuits
where it's not as extreme,

but as you maybe move
onto the road circuits which have

increasing history of danger,

erm, you will be conflicted.

Although Reverend John
has never raced motorcycles,

he has been a lifelong fan
of road racing.

HE LAUGHS
It's a different era, isn't it?

That was on the way back
from the North West 200!

I think I was living in freefall
back in those days.

I wasn't thinking very far.
Just go a day at a time.

All I know is I wanted to go
as hard as I could.

But the reason
why I wanted to go fast was

because I found a great deal of...

..of joy and thrill in it.

That's a sense of...

..I don't know how
you'd describe that.

That's elation.

Today Maria has come
to collect the new van

and to bring her race bike home.

Oh, she's there! Yeah.
And there's my race bike. Yeah.

This is my little baby.

Last time I rode this
was when I got knocked off.

Her bike has been in storage

since she crashed
at the Isle of Man in 2023.

It's nice to see her again.

It is my pride and joy.

Erm, she just doesn't look
like my pride and joy

because she needs a bit of love.

And she needs to prepare
it in time for the North West 200.

Is that how you're doing it?
Don't scratch my van.

That bumper has only just
been painted.

Just mind off here.

Don't have kids. Don't have debt.

I don't want the nine to five
and the house and the car.

That isn't what I've ever
looked for.

I don't like admitting
that I'm getting older

and it's physically a bit harder.

You know, it was a big
milestone last year.

"Yeah, I'm going to be 50,
and it's going to be great,"

but it was the worst
year of my life.

I was living with my mum
and looking after my mum.

She couldn't get out of bed.
And life felt so hard.

I think I kept myself
out of normal life

for a long, long, long, long time
with my racing, and then bang,

it was all pulled in front of me.

It was a year since Mum passed away,
only very recently,

and it was as raw
as if it was the other day.

But actually I'm back training,
I'm doing a lot of things

that I need to be doing,
that I want to be doing.

Oh, my God!

I don't know what it's going
to be like doing my first road race

without Mum.

That is definitely,
thinking about that,

it's going to be really different.

It's going to be really different.

It's February, and Lee has come
to the Northern General Hospital

in Sheffield for a checkup
on his broken leg.

Right now best case scenario
is getting the cage off

at the end of April and then
the North West at the start of May.

So I've got like a week to spare.

So I'm going to get an X-ray first,
which I've managed to talk my way

into, because I'm not supposed to
get one for like another two weeks.

How is it all going, then?
Yeah, good. Keeping all right?

Yeah, really good.

They are going to look at the X-ray
and then go yea or nay.

I want to see progress to, like,
taking this thing off my leg.

Because they told me three months.

But that was automatically
two months in my head,

so if I see progress today, that's
me being more right than them!

I'm feeling a bit
nervous about this, to be fair.

Good or bad,
we're going to get some facts.

Do you think it could
come off in like a month?

There's no point us taking
the frame off until it's healed.

And I've never had a patient
with your kind of fracture

where it takes less
than three months to heal.

Yeah. Erm... But that doesn't mean
that this couldn't be the first.

All right. That's true.

Nature is nature.

And you can try to push it along,

but sometimes
it's got its own rules.

See you later.

I feel OK. I feel like
there's signs of progression,

and that's all...

..that's all we want, isn't it?

My whole life's in a rush.

I'll wake up and be old!

He's never apologised as much as
he did when...

He was so nice!

SHE GIGGLES

He was like,
literally like apologetic and kind.

And I was like, "Oh, my God,
something's going on here!"

It's all the drugs he were on!

I couldn't laugh,
cos my ribs were all broke,

but if someone said something funny,
I'd start crying.

And then if it was, like, someone
said something average, I'd cry.

And that went on for weeks after.

I'd get upset and then I'd go,
"Well, I have no right to be upset

"cos I've done this
and this is my fault and problem,

"so why am I sitting here
feeling sorry for me, when...?"

Do you know what I mean? I've chose
this and I've let everyone down,

I've crashed the bike.

At that point, I realised he'll
probably never going to retire,

cos I thought, "If this is what he's
going to be like when he retires,

"without racing in his life, like,
it's not going to work, is it?"

Even after his accident and he were
like, "I'll never race again!"

I thought, "Well,
that's not going to happen."

With only a few weeks
to the North West 200,

Kevin's decided to do a trial run at
the first race of the Irish season,

the Cookstown 100.

Nervous this morning.

A bit hard to go to sleep last night
just thinking about it but...

..I think that's
natural for any parent

with their kid going road racing.

He's just buzzing to get going
and looking forward to it.

I wish I was as calm as him.

He definitely has a few
guardian angels, all right.

It helps you do dangerous things,

knowing there is someone there
looking out for you.

We do believe there's something
thereafter for us, too.

It wouldn't like to think there's
nothing there and that's just it,

it's gone, it's over.

His dad, Ron,
partner Sarah, and son Kayden

are all preparing, too.

I'm nervous for Cookstown,
cos I don't know the track.

If he was to come off the bike,
like, you know, God forbid,

I wouldn't know
where he is on the road,

I wouldn't see
what's actually happening,

I wouldn't get to him as quick,
I suppose, and... I'll be praying,

whether it's out loud or in my head
and mumbling away to myself,

I'll be...
I'll be praying the whole time.

With so few national
Irish road races left,

the shorter Cookstown 100
is an opportunity for Kevin

to get some experience
before the bigger North West 200.

THEY LAUGH

As the race day approaches,

Kevin and his family
set off north across the border.

I'm relaxed at the minute
but as soon as I sit on the road

and get to go for the first time,

I'm going to get nervous, I know I
am.

But I just can't wait
to get on the road tomorrow.

For over a century,

the Cookstown 100's
been run by volunteers

passionate about road racing.

The Cookstown 100
is an iconic Irish road race.

It's not like some of these big
races people have in their mind,

this is something
really quite unique.

Farms, churches and businesses
open their doors to the crowds

as the circuit
weaves through country back roads

in an area
steeped in religious tradition.

We have never raced on a Sunday.

Our bikes have never
been out on a Sunday.

It's just...Granda's religious
beliefs that, you know,

that you don't race on a Sunday.

Though it's a smaller race,

Cookstown will test
whether Kevin has what it takes

to become a road racer.

The circuit is about...
a little over two miles long.

Around very short and tight corners
and narrow roads.

It's raw, Irish road racing.

And quite often
the weather is raw as well.

COMMENTATOR: Not ideal conditions.
Rain continues to come down.

It might just delay this
for a little while.

Held in April,

weather can make the racing
conditions here unpredictable.

The rain makes things slippy,
even in your car, you know, so,

it's not very ideal.

The risks have all automatically
just went from here to here

in the space of ten minutes,
cos of a rain shower, you know.

If you don't feel right,

you can't force these things.
You have to listen to yourself

or else...it could
go seriously, seriously wrong.

But this is Kevin's only chance
to road race before the North West.

Despite the changeable conditions
on the track,

he decides it's worth the risk.

It's more real now,
hearing them all,

and I've got sickness
in me stomach now.

We were just
on the side of the track

and I could feel me hands shaking.

Obviously, I want him to do well.
Erm...

I want him to be up there but
I also want him to come home, too.

Yes, it's over.

PA: ..newcomer, Kevin Keyes,
the winner... Fantastic result.

Happy with his performance,
Kevin's decision has paid off.

He's won his first Cookstown 100.

With the North West in two weeks,
back home in Edenderry,

Kevin and Sarah discuss
their experience of the race.

When you get on the bike,
do you not think of Kayden, me,

like, you know, "What if...?"
I know, it's weird, like,

you're nervous cos you're
thinking about it

but then when you take off...
you can't think about it.

You have to be so focused
in the time that you can't actually

worry about what's going on
around you. If that makes sense.

You just feel that
sense of freedom, you know,

nothing in the world
can get in the way. Only you.

Yeah.

No.

No, it is, erm...

It sounds like
an amazing experience,

something that everyone
would want to feel.

Should I race or should I not race?

You're weighing up in your one hand,
I love this sport.

But you're also conscious of what it
may do to other people around you.

I think most likely the worst
time of confliction will come

when someone close to you is killed.

The Hodsons
are a road racing family.

Sons Rob and Jamie
followed their father into racing,

until tragedy struck

at a road race
in Northern Ireland in 2017.

REPORTERS: Road racing this week
has claimed the life of one rider

and left two others
critically injured...

Jamie Hodson struck a telephone pole
after coming off his bike

at up to 120mph...

His brother, Rob Hodson,
was also caught up in the crash,

but his injuries were not serious...

Nobody goes out to race attempting
to be foolish and do silly things,

you know, and to put their lives or
the lives of other people at risk.

Nobody's doing that.

That's why they call them accidents.
They're not intended. They happen.

Me and Jamie, it was our first race
at the Ulster Grand Prix

as newcomers.
We was both enjoying the race,

it was good, there was a lot
of overtakes and things like that

and it was good fun.

The bike I was riding at that point,
it was a decent bike

but it wasn't the fastest
in a straight line.

Before that race, I said to me dad,

"I'll try my best,
but if we're getting left behind

"after a couple of laps,
I'll just pull in."

In the first race
we had a really close battle

and different emotions take over,
the competitive edge and adrenaline

and things, and I didn't pull in.

I was in front of the group
and as we came up to the corner

where the accident happened,
I lost control of my bike.

I think the front
just slipped away from me.

I just slid off into some bushes,
which slowed me down,

and I came to a stop.

I didn't see what happened
after that. I think another bike

may have clipped Jamie,
trying to take avoiding action.

Which led to Jamie hitting
something at the side of the road

and, unfortunately,
you know, losing his life.

You know, you just pray and pray,
don't you,

that it's not going to be as bad.

You just pray for miracles,
don't you? You know.

His dad, Jim, was at Jamie's

hospital bedside when his son passed
away.

His mum Carole was home in Wigan.

In the aftermath of his death,
both grew stronger in their faith.

There is a plan for everybody. You
know, I'm not frightened of dying.

Because I think, well,
I'll be in good company.

I think they'll all
be up there together. Yeah.

I have all this on when I'm racing.
So I've got me dog tag,

and then this here...
is made with Jamie's ashes in it,

so every time I go and do a lap,
he's with me. Close to me chest.

And then the St Christopher.

Which is religious and hopefully
it'll bring me good and safe luck.

Someone's looking down on you
to keep you safe.

You don't stop believing, cos
everything's for a reason, isn't it?

You know, if... If I hadn't
made the mistake in that corner,

you know, then...the accident
wouldn't have happened.

I think about it every day,
you know,

what could have been done
differently.

If I did what I said
I was going to do, and pulled in...

I just...definitely wish I had.

When Rob came home,
he said, "I'm sorry, Mum."

I said, "It's not your fault."

Well, it's not his fault, is it?

It's just...a tragedy, really.

It's a big loss.

Rob had been struggling
just a little bit sometimes and...

It's not good if you don't speak it,
it's just...

All festers inside your head,
doesn't it?

But, uh, that's life,

you don't know what's going to be
round the corner, do you? You know.

You don't go to a race meeting and
think, "Oh, I might crash here," or,

"I will crash," or... You don't...
It doesn't enter your head.

And if you thought that, you should
never really get on the bike

and go and do it, you know?

When you experience personal loss
and tragedy in racing,

going back again is a hard question.

We ask ourselves, "Why do
we keep going back to something

"which can be so painful
and so difficult sometimes?"

Oliver's Mount, Scarborough, is
England's only remaining road race.

Situated just five minutes
from Scarborough's beachfront,

the circuit hosts a number of

road racing events across the
season.

Lead us and join us
to where you want us to go, Lord.

And help us, Lord,

to be there to be able
to help other people... Yes.

..and to tell them,
Lord, that Jesus loves them. Yeah.

Thank you, Lord. We pray in Jesus'
precious name, Lord. Amen.

After Jamie's death,
Rob continued in the sport.

But has never returned
to race in Ireland.

His first race of the season
is at the Spring Cup at Scarborough.

The first road race
that he and Jamie ever competed in.

From when the accident happened to
now, I've never took a season out.

It's all I know to do
to kind of keep busy

and focused on moving forward,
really.

COMMENTATOR:
Rob Hodson on the SMT Yamaha

makes his way
into the middle of the front row.

One of the most recent members
of the 130mph club.

When I get to ride off
to another racetrack,

it's kind of like a bit of a release
and a bit of freedom.

You're not thinking
about being guilty.

You're just focused on
getting down the straight

and round the corner
as fast as you can.

You know, I continue
because it seems like a waste.

I've got the ability to do it

and if I just stop, then it's kind
of like we lost Jamie for nothing.

COMMENTATOR: Here come the leaders
once more, powering in...

This year'll be eight years
since we lost him,

and I've achieved more
than I thought I would in racing.

Just doing as proud as I can,
really.

Come on, guy, come on!

I've had accidents where I've
come off straight into a wall,

bounced off,
the bike's gone over my head.

And I walked away
with just a very small injury.

Before I get a chance to stop,
it might stop me, but, yeah,

that's the... That's the game

we're playing at the minute.

In pain,

we can experience the reality of God
in a very powerful way.

I would say in my life as a minister
for the last 40 years,

I think that God has become real
to more people in pain

than in any other situation.

This is my local church where
I got me communion and baptised.

This is where I've grown up.

I believe in God. I believe
you're protected by guardian angels

and the ritual of praying,
and whatever's out there.

This is a special little place,
you know,

where we lay our boys to rest.

In 2019, Kevin and Sarah
lost their twin boys in pregnancy.

With just two days to go,
Kevin visits the twins'

grave before he sets off for the
North West 200 for the first time.

We were both
so young at the time and, you know,

it was something that we were going

to cherish together

and it ended up being one
of the toughest times of our lives.

And it's hard because, you know,

I look at Kayden, my little son,

he's at the age, like, he should be
playing with his brothers now

and it's still sad, like, that we
can't play with them every day

and see them grow up to be people
and...

..you know, what could
they have been.

I seen...

..seen some dark times
and lonely times, you know?

I like to be the happy-go-lucky guy

that just is fun to be around

and I struggle with it

because this is hard to accept,
you know?

You just like to think, some day
we will see them again.

I think it's a nice thing to
think about, that there is somewhere

else, there is
an afterlife, you know?

That it's not just over.

I like coming up here before a race
weekend, I like talking to them,

telling them where we're going,
what we're going to be doing,

how I want them to help me
this weekend, keep me safe,

and then I say my little
prayer before I get on the bike.

I call a couple of guardian angels,

but I always say at the end of it,

"This is it, boys, let's go,
let's have fun,

"let's enjoy the ride
and go home safe."

That, to me,

is me bringing them on my
journey and them keeping me safe.

Before Maria departs for
Northern Ireland, she takes a moment

to reflect on the things
she did with her mum before a race.

People are always saying that
she's always with me.

I just wish she was always with me.

She visits a Buddhist retreat,

somewhere they often spent
time together.

I found it difficult initially
because it felt like it was

Mum's place, but this place gives me
lots of good memories.

Grief made me
want to lock myself away.

I didn't want to interact
with anyone,

I didn't know how to interact
with anyone in grief.

Because it's just so painful.

She absolutely was part
of my racing.

Suddenly it felt really strange that

I didn't have her trying to stop me.

I didn't have anyone to go
up against,

I didn't have anyone to defy.

I miss her not wanting me racing.

That's it.

I miss her worrying about me.

I...

..loved her fiercely.

This is Jesse's heroes,

and that's me there,

that's the cage on my leg
and a cap on.

Lee's leg hasn't healed in time
to get the cage off.

He won't be racing at
the North West 200.

I think disappointed
would be the biggest

understatement of possibly the year.

I don't even know what the right
word is. I think...

..frustrated. Erm... Yeah.

I've been going to the North West
since I was a kid.

I suppose when you're a kid,
it's like superheroes, aren't they?

You see these guys putting
these suits on,

and think how amazing must feel to
be able to go 200mph

on a motorbike.

Every kid that goes
to the North West

dreams about winning the North West.

For, like, 10, 12-year-old me,

that was, yeah, like, this would be
cool.

And then winning five North Wests,
12-year-old Lee,

he'd probably say,
"Why haven't you won more?"

My dad didn't race.

All he used to say was,

"If someone beats you because

"they've got more talent, then
that's fine,

"you take it on the chin
and you shake their hand.

"But getting beat because you
weren't fit enough or you

"didn't put enough effort in,
that's not acceptable."

I think that's probably where
a lot of the drive comes from.

I obviously wanted it myself,
but you're obviously like, the best

thing you can do in the world is
try and impress your dad, isn't it?

Do you know what I mean?
Like, "Ah, look at me."

My dad died of cancer,

so he got diagnosed when he was 50
and he died when he was 52.

I know he's not here any more,
so he's not physically telling me,

but he'd probably tell me

that there's a whole lot of life

after what I'm rushing for right
now.

If everything's going really well,
if the wind is on your back,

you don't question anything,
but when things are difficult,

then you do start question.
You have to.

Because the pain causes you
to ask questions.

This sport, more than maybe any
other sports, individuals have had

to ask themselves those questions
again and again.

Once a year, the sleepy
towns of Portstewart, Portrush and

Coleraine become the three points of

the thrilling
North West 200 circuit,

known as The Triangle.

The North West has some very long,
straight parts of the circuit,

machines are able to get up to
speeds in excess of 200mph.

If the sheer speed and noise isn't
enough to excite the crowds,

the North West is also home to the
largest mass start in road racing.

ENGINES REV

All of the bikes begin
together. As soon as the lights

turn from red to green,

everybody goes as fast as they can.

ENGINES REVVING

But it's a very exhilarating
thing for some,

and very frightening to
watch, for others.

ENGINES REV

Good to see you. And you,
likewise. Been all right?

Good to see you.

# Unending love

# Amazing grace. #

Sunday at the North West 200 for us
as chaplains begins as a day

when we have a prerace service.

Sometimes people say to me,
"Why do you have

"a service at the North West 200,
or any race, for that matter?

"What's the point?" And I say,

"Well, you know, it's really good
to pray for this

"event and people
who are involved in it."

God does care about every person
and even those that don't

care about him yet, he still
cares for them, too, wonderfully.

I know that racing can touch
you on all sorts of levels,

but this touches you even deeper
than any race can.

As it's his first time with
the North West 200,

Kevin must attend a safety briefing
before he's allowed to race.

You're all newcomers, you have many,
many years ahead of you

at the North West 200, so just come
the first year, qualify,

enjoy the event, and that's all you
necessarily have to do.

We don't tolerate anything
outside of regulations,

so just want to make you completely
aware of that.

Fully briefed, Kevin can now fulfil

his dream to race
the North West 200.

Away from the race paddock,
he takes time with those he loves...

On you go.

..before he takes to the track.

Kids are a great
example of being in the moment.

Like, I have two angel babies,
you know?

And I just call them
guardian angels, you know,

and I say a little
prayer before I sit on the bike,

and just ask them to come with me,
keep me safe.

I believe if I didn't say that
prayer, something would happen,

something would go wrong,
it wouldn't work out for me.

So, I believe, yeah, they are with
me every step of the way.

Newcomers sometimes don't realise
just how fast it is.

They don't realise that the
speeds are so incredible,

I think that can take some riders
by surprise

because when you're going so fast,
it takes a long time to slow up.

If you get your braking wrong,
you can be a danger to yourself

and others.

Being in control of what
you're doing right now is massive.

The present's where you are and you
can't change the past, and you

can't predict the future, so to be
in that moment is quite important.

To me, there is an afterlife,

and I believe the afterlife can
protect the living life.

Nathan? Let's go and get this fuel.

Back at the North West, Maria is
preparing for her first

road race without her mum.
Awesome. See you later.

I'll have some strawberries. Now,
then. You all right? Yeah, are you?

Hello. We're here. We're here.

We did start working on the bike
a bit late.

Race bikes are temperamental
machines, and at speeds of 200mph,

mechanical error can make the
difference between life and death.

That's bad, isn't it?
As long as you're sorting it.

I'll let you just work away.

Mechanics fine tune them right
up to the moment before each race.

Can't be building, can't be
changing shells and that now.

Just going to have to clean
everything. Yeah. Fresh oil.

Yeah, just shout whatever you need,
then.

Ah, OK.

How's that for you?

HE WHISTLES

You know where that is?
Is that... Is it?

Just after Deer's Leap.
Forgot about that.

Oh, did you hear that?
Isn't that shocking?

Even though Lee hasn't made it
back as a racer,

his popularity in the sport has
landed him a job as a pundit.

You OK? Oh, my word...
What are you laughing for?

I've got feelings, you know?

Lee, we had hoped to see
racing at the North West

this year, after your crash at the
event last year.

How much are you looking
forward to the racing?

Yeah, obviously that was the main
aim and it always will be that,

I want to be racing motorbikes, but
unfortunately the next best thing

is here with you guys and I'm really
looking forward to that as well.

There's some cracking racing in line
here with two or three guys

willing to go
head-to-head for all the races,

so I'm really, really excited.

MARIA: I do like getting to be that
strong, confident Maria.

When you click your visor shut,
that's...that's who you become.

That feeling of being on
a motorbike, it's like nothing else.

MUSIC: Blood At Sunrise
by Steingrimur Thorhallsson

I've got nerves
because I want to know

I can get back to that feeling,
I want to know I can still do this.

It's not just about going fast...
It's...

Well, it is about going fast.

ENGINES REV

KEVIN: Once you shut that visor,
you're in that little headspace

on your own, at one with yourself,
at one with your bike,

and in control.

It's peaceful, you know?

Getting that maximum, just getting
to the edge, to me, that's living.

That's happiness.

It is hard to understand
from the outside.

The danger, the hurting yourself,
getting back on a bike after

hurting yourself, how do you explain
that to somebody else?

ENGINE REVS

It's because what I get to
do on the bike feels so good,

I want to get back to that
all the time.

It's this amazing feeling.

Hold on super tight!

Do a thumbs up!

Do a thumbs up!

My heart's giving in, I'm not sure,
is it running or racing?

Ready, steady, go! Woohoo!
Delighted?

Finally got to do it. Finally.
How was it?

Hi, Kev, well done.

Mad. Yeah? Yeah, it's mad. You know?

SHE CHUCKLES

I think he did well.

I'm the one who kept
pushing him from

when he was that height to go faster
and faster.

He's a good head on his shoulders.

I think he can decide
when it's time to stop.

I think Kevin's wearing his as well,
so...

We could say it helps.

We're all going home safe, and
that's the main thing, you know, so.

INAUDIBLE

I secretly wanted a top ten,
we were so close.

Yeah, there's always next year,
and the year after,

and the year after, and
the year after.

Sarah,
you take off one helmet to put...

One helmet off, the other one on!

It's Kayden's turn!

You ready?

Whoof.

It went much better than last year
and, yeah, I'm in one piece,

the bike's in one piece,
what a bonus.

It's given me a lot of things,
racing.

God, just, you know,
the amount of people I've met,

and racing is
a lot about the people.

Good to see you.
Good to see you, too.

Life's too short.
Now's what counts. Every...

Every moment, every relationship,
it all counts.

ENGINES REV

COMMENTATOR: They're in there...
Oh! Oh!

Oh, that is terrible, McLean came
in...

There were three race-stopping
red-flag crashes.

Another red flag.

But one stood out.

Remarkably, this rider survived...

..with little more than minor
injuries.

I do believe that
when we pray for people,

that there are times interventions
happen that we cannot see.

This rider going through the air,
yeah, that's a miracle.

There was something
incredible about that,

and whether you actually will
ever attribute that to the

Heavenly Father, as I will,

if I was that person,
I'd be thankful,

I'd be humble,

and I'd be saying, "Now, I wonder
why I've been spared?"

This is where we crashed, here.

I think. Well, I know this
is where we crashed,

but we must have ended up -
like, gauging off the cameras

and stuff - like, right in there,
somewhere on this corner.

You can't choose pain
but you can choose suffering,

because the pain
happens in the accident, doesn't it?

But the suffering happens after.

People see me
as just a motorbike racer.

I'm not, I'm somebody's dad and
husband, and at some point,

the wheels are going to stop
turning, and I know

they're still going
to be there and...

..then real life begins!