Original subtitles

The latest epic distributed by the Democratic People's Republic.

That's Bailey, isn't it? Yes.

Because we have been shown the errors of our ways, we willingly confess to

posing as members of a scientific expedition studying oceanography.

We were actually agents of the infamous Central Intelligence Agency, performing

a naked act of aggression against the peace -loving people of the Democratic

People's Republic.

Just exactly what do you want me to do?

Head up security for the delegation that will negotiate their release?

Is it really a negotiation?

Or another platform for their propaganda?

I'd be suspicious too, except that a neutral country has arranged the

And private parties, not government officials, are to discuss the

With no newsmen allowed.

Sounds good.

But it could also be a new way to skin an old cat.

Could be, except for one thing.

The man who will head their delegation is an old teacher of mine at the

University of Paris.

He's not a member of the government.

He's a college professor, just as I am.

I think they gave him the job because they want agreement.

If they're so eager to release the man, why don't they just do it?

Face the oriental mystique.

Private agreement reached by private parties does not reflect on their

government.

The word is they don't want a head -on collision with us.

But they can't officially release the men without it looking like they're

backing down.

Will you accept responsibility for our security?

Of course.

I was hoping you'd say that.

I haven't been... Sorry, Eve.

You and Ed are on the regular fourth.

I couldn't spring you for an unofficial assignment.

I'm not a regular. Where does that put me?

On the phone to the dean of the law school.

And after you've arranged leave of absence, on the plane with me.

Would have been nice to help those men, to let them know they didn't have to

give up hope.

What makes you think they gave up hope?

Well, look at them.

Read their names.

Schultz, Norman, Ohlendorf, Weiss, Jacobs, Oleander, Bailey.

First initials.

S -N -O -W -J -O -B.

Snow job.

Mr.

Ironside? Baron von Jillingsholt at your service, sir.

How was your trip?

Quick, thank you.

Good. It will be my honor to act as the host during the negotiations.

Please consider my staff and my home as your very own.

Well, the American security chief has arrived.

And so it begins.

It's stuffy in here.

I can't hardly breathe.

Can we get this place cleaned up?

The cleaning woman's been here two or three times a day since we arrived, but

can have her in here again.

Thank you.

Perhaps a little crack there.

Comrade Fang seems out of sorts.

I'm sure it's simple fatigue.

I didn't mean to imply a fear.

Well,

we're not bugged yet.

All the security men on station?

Yeah, one of them gave me the high sign as we were coming in.

The one plan the secretary gives me a laugh. You'd never believe he had an

arsenal in that briefcase of his.

All right.

Let's take a look at Hofstede's room.

I assume both of you gentlemen have inspected the quarters and are satisfied

with the arrangements.

There will be a total separation between the delegations, with exception of the

Rose Garden.

We felt that some neutral area, perhaps private conversations between the

delegates, might serve both sides.

I'm not as concerned with roses right now, Baron, as I am with bugs.

Bugs? Our word for electronic eavesdropping. That was found in Mr.

room. This is very serious, Mr. Sy.

May I examine it, please?

Since I have no knowledge of its placement, I can only assume that the

security chief put it there himself in order to obstruct these meetings.

A Russian make.

Easily duplicated.

We reject the insinuation.

I didn't lodge a formal complaint.

Do you wish to do so, sir?

Not at this time. Mr. Tsai is a police officer, not a secret agent or a spy.

I'm sure he'll look into the matter himself. I appreciate your confidence,

Ironside. Don't count on it being overabundant, Mr. Sy.

You're welcome to see me, sir.

Dr. Fang's room must be clean. I cleaned it this morning.

Dr. Fang's health is delicate.

His surroundings must be antiseptically clean.

You do understand?

Yes, sir.

Take great care of the floor and cupboards.

Sterile and antiseptic.

Right away, sir.

Right away, sir.

Ready, comrades?

Come in.

What does it look like?

This is an electronic listening device.

Reported to the Baron by my opposite number.

An obvious plan on their part to obstruct the meetings.

I know our official answers as well as you do, comrade.

Why do you bring this matter to my attention?

My job is difficult enough.

I want to be sure it is not made more difficult.

As I understand it, your job is to protect the delegation from outside

It also is to protect it from inside stupidity.

May I?

Jeremy, I think we can start.

Before we begin our serious business, may I touch a personal note and say what

pleasure it is to be an old friend again.

Mr. Chairman.

Dr. Fang.

The delegation of the Democratic People's Republic has prepared an

I now present.

Point one.

Agreement that the intrusion of a spy ship...

Carrying seven agents of the Central Intelligence Agency is an act of

by the United States.

Point two.

Agreement that the United States acknowledges this breach of

and accepts full responsibility for this criminal act.

Mr. Chairman, what Dr. Feng is reading is a list of conclusions.

A bill of indictment, not an agenda.

Say that again.

How can you be on their side?

It's not their side. It's our side.

After Dr. Fanger, our delegation compliments the chair.

Point three.

Agreement that the government of the United States make full apology to the

loving people of the Democratic Republic.

Point four.

Agreement on the amount of reparations and damages.

to be paid by the U .S. to the people of the DPR.

I call for an adjournment at this time.

Mr. Chairman! A call for adjournment is not debatable.

We are adjourned.

I thought you and Feng were old college pals.

Perhaps he's not in a position to acknowledge it.

Yes? Come in.

I have made a few changes in the transcript of the meeting.

Would you retype it and get it to the Baron for distribution?

Certainly.

And would you do me a favor, please?

I feel a bit feverish.

I think an ice pack might help.

Could you get me one?

I'll arrange for a new maid in the morning.

Coming inside, comrade?

Hello.

Oh.

I scare you?

No. Well, you look scared.

I'm just upset.

One of the chambermaids, an old woman.

I found her dead.

I'm sorry. What did she do?

I don't know.

She was old.

I'm Mark.

I know. I have read the roster of delegates and aides.

So have I. You're my?

Noyen. Right, right. I hear the garden is for private conversations between the

delegates. Does that apply to us aides?

I've heard that it is difficult for a black man on their side.

Our side?

Why is it your side, too? It's the only side I've got.

We would accept you.

We? The union of the persecuted, the downtrodden against the power -drunk

imperialists of the world. Hey, listen.

Let me tell you something. When you show me one black man who holds an office of

power in that union of yours, you let me know.

Maybe I'll give it some thought.

Nice moon, isn't it?

Come in.

Am I disturbing you?

Of course not. Come on in.

Transcripts. Their version of the first meeting. I forget to read them.

I'd say it wasn't a very friendly start.

The art of negotiation.

Start out with a hard line and it gives you something to trade away later on.

I'm just sorry about Fang.

Not even a smile or a simple hello.

Did he seem well to you?

Oh, I don't know.

A bit drawn, perhaps. Why?

His hands were shaking.

His skin was dry.

Banned a very peculiar color.

Tension, perhaps?

What do you know about their number two man, Mr.

Tung? Not much.

A lawyer.

He was active in some of the purge trials.

Now he's fronting some international peace and freedom movement.

Well, there's an old oriental saying.

What's that?

When a butcher puts down his knife, it doesn't make him a Buddha.

Confucius?

Charles Chan.

If I'm glad Sung's not heading up their delegation, that'll really blow it.

Hey, you hear what happened?

The ghost walked the parrot.

Well, that's close. Only it was an old lady and she wasn't walking. She's

permanently dead.

What old lady?

Chambermaid working on their side of the building.

All right, let's have all of it.

That's all I know.

Something wrong, you think? I don't know.

When I don't know, I find out.

Really, Mr. Ironside, there's nothing to get upset about. The old lady, she just

went and that's all.

But how? Why?

I don't know.

A heart attack, I imagine.

I want an autopsy report.

Really, sir, why should you concern yourself?

It might be something infectious. I'm responsible for the safety of my people.

Very well, sir.

If you insist.

I do insist.

I suppose I shouldn't have awakened you this way, but I'm a novice in the

security business.

It worries me.

Leave us.

Obviously, Mr. Sung requires a private talk.

What's on your mind, Mr. Sung?

I would like to know what is on yours.

Concerning what?

Do not play cat and mouse with me.

The Baron has already informed me of your demand for an autopsy of that

menial... The charwoman?

I believe that's my right.

You have only the rights we grant you.

In your country, perhaps, but we're not in your country.

What is it about the autopsy you're afraid of, Mr. Soon?

We have nothing at all to fear, Mr. Einstein.

Do not confuse fear with outrage.

Our delegation has been grossly insulted.

And if this insult continues, we will be tempted to break off negotiations.

What insult?

Your demand for an autopsy is a direct implication of some sort of wrongdoing

the part of the DPR delegation, and we will not stand for it.

My concern was over a possible infectious disease.

I expect that your own security officer would be as interested in protecting you

as I am in protecting my delegation.

Nonsense.

We are alone.

You may speak openly.

Admit this is a plot to trump up... some bogus charge to discredit us.

Mr. Soon, up to now my curiosity about the poor charwoman was based on caution.

Now let's say it's based on suspicion.

I intend to find out what caused her death.

You know the consequences if you persist.

You mean break off the talks?

I doubt that very much.

I also doubt that this is the position of your delegation or Dr. Fing would be

here, not you.

You are practicing what I believe is called in your country brinksmanship.

If backing my hunch is brinksmanship, you're right.

Oh, you scared the life out of me.

I'm very sorry.

Are you going to tell me my business, too?

27 years I worked for Mrs. Tamberg. Not even one roach.

Now, now everybody tells me clean.

You've been given orders?

From that other fellow.

And in the middle of the night, yet.

How many bosses have I got around here?

Of course I noticed it, Bob. But I just took it for granted it was an error.

He took it for granted. They've carved that on a million tombstones.

Now, why does the transcript read five points when Feng only listed four?

It has to be a typing error.

Take another look.

Originally, it read four.

And the four was erased and five typed in.

It was done deliberately.

Now, why five instead of four?

I don't know.

Well, think about it.

Good morning.

I don't imagine you had much sleep after what happened last night.

I have better things to do with my time than worry about old ladies who die of

heart attacks.

Then it was a heart attack.

Hardening of the arteries, a stroke, what difference does it make?

None to the old lady, but it might be of more than passing interest to people in

our line of work.

You've been watching too many of your American films.

You see intrigue and conspiracy every time you turn your head.

In this situation, don't you?

We are both, after all, policemen.

There's a difference between law enforcement in your country and mine.

Tell me.

In your country, it's a judicial matter. In mine, it's political.

Yes,

I'm a policeman.

I have a uniform and a badge.

I parade about.

I can wave a stick at traffic.

I can arrest somebody.

When I'm told to. In other words, I do as I am told.

Nobody's yet told me to worry about the death of a sick old chambermaid.

Questions might be asked. Nobody's asked me. I'm asking you.

Who do you think you are? A commissar of my conscience?

Perhaps a spur to your self -respect.

I propose we have our own negotiation.

I shall investigate the death of this old woman.

But you must do something for me.

If I can.

Comrade Feng has always been delicate but strong.

Now he's dying.

Yes, dying.

What does the doctor say?

He refuses to see one.

You are the omniscient occidental detective.

Please, find out why he's dying.

Bob, I've got it. I understand.

What? The business of the five points.

I was so preoccupied with complexity, I overlooked the simple.

When Feng and I were in Paris together, there was this little bistro we always

went to.

The name of the place? The Sanctuant.

Five points.

Feng does remember.

He's telling me he remembers, but he's tied hand and foot by his own committee.

I'll have to think of some clever way to acknowledge.

Better do it soon.

Why? Fang may not be with us very long.

You mean recalled?

No, I mean dead.

A cable from the chief.

He needs it.

He wants it to come, right? Well, wait a minute. I'm reading it.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Who are you calling?

Airlines.

Yeah, well, try the bus line. We're going across town.

Across town?

To talk to Dr. Morton, head pathologist at Memorial Hospital.

The chief wants it to send him out.

Looks like good seats.

Right on the third baseline.

Why the smug look?

Well, whenever the East and the West start bumping heads, it's always good

the Southern boys.

Hello?

I missed you the past couple of days.

A castle without a princess doesn't come to very much.

What's wrong with you both?

Mr. Chairman, perhaps Dr.

Fang would prefer that we postpone our meeting until he feels better.

Dr. Fang?

We've already had too many delays.

Proceed, please.

We don't.

I wish to make a full response to the so -called agenda proposed by Dr. Feng.

We've studied it very carefully and find there is still no basis for discussion.

Quite obviously, it is the intention of the DPR delegation to use even this

unofficial meeting as a platform for propaganda.

We reject the agenda as offered by Dr. Feng and submit a counterproposal which

we feel will bring us closer to our common objective.

The release of the illegally held prisoners.

We submit an agenda of five points to the delegation.

Mr. Chairman, there has been no debate as yet on our four points. We assume

Mr. Song was aware that his four points were not...

Apologies. I'm quite all right now.

Let me help you.

No, thank you.

Just a little faint.

Take me back to my room.

Excuse me, please.

I'm sorry.

If you will present your copies, I will consider your five points.

Leave us, please.

You say I'm to come in and clean.

Not now.

I'll take that with you.

You must have a doctor, Comrade Fang.

No.

No doctor.

Just let me rest.

I see this man for five minutes, and you want a diagnosis.

That's ridiculous.

If I'd wanted an intern, I'd have sent for one. You're a top pathologist. Make

an educated guess.

Well, advanced jaundice, skin dry and yellow, yellow discoloration of the

difficulty in breathing, acute yellow atrophy. It's a rare case, but don't

me. I won't quote you. Spell it out.

Well, it's an inflammatory disease of the liver. It can occur without known

cause.

You know, I'm suspicious.

I think there is a cause.

Why? Because he became ill at a very convenient time for them.

All right. It could be a reaction to toxic chemicals.

Bob, we've got to be very cautious.

About a man being poisoned?

On their side.

No, this is a very delicate situation. We can't go barging into it.

Murder is murder.

That may be, but our first concern must be to keep these negotiations underway.

You start probing, and this might just be the excuse to call it off.

And if Fang dies and soon takes over?

How far do you think you'll get?

He'd call it off in a minute flat.

We're going to have to take the chance. Mark.

Hi.

Hey, you don't look so good.

I'll be all right.

You want to walk?

No.

Perhaps I'll sit a while.

Please. If you wish to walk, do not bother about me.

Hey, I wasn't really out for a walk.

I was waiting for you.

I want you to talk to Chief Ironside.

For what reason?

It's about Dr. Fang.

Hey, what are you getting so uptight about?

He's not going to get you into any trouble. He's just as worried about Dr.

as you are. No, I can't. I... Hey, hey, what is it? I don't know.

22 years of practice, and I never saw half a dozen cases.

Now you give me two in a row.

Acute yellow atrophy.

Not too serious yet, but definitely acute yellow atrophy.

Good day.

I sincerely hope so.

Are you prepared to go forward with our bargain?

Why else would I sit here and read a very dull book?

Then you have some information on Dr. Feng?

You know, Mr. Tsai, I've been wondering why you couldn't find out yourself.

You're much closer to the man than I am.

For me to have sent for an expert pathologist would have been, shall we

awkward.

It's Dr.

Morton, isn't it?

I thought we had him well disguised, Secretary.

If you had convinced me of that, I wouldn't have let him anywhere near Dr.

Of course not.

What were his findings?

Well, I'd say he made a report.

But if I remember correctly, you were to get one from me, too.

After I've heard what the doctor had to say.

Mr. Tsai, in any exchange, there must be some basis of common trust.

My previous experience does not warrant such trust.

Then I suggest we both look for some kind of common ground.

both members of the same fraternity.

Dr. Feng is dying of acute yellow atrophy.

Are you certain?

I don't have to tell you Dr. Morton's qualifications. You've checked him out

yourself.

The autopsy report on the charwoman.

Death.

Due to acute yellow atrophy.

Well, I have more news for you.

Miss Noyan has it too.

What? She's being treated right now by Dr. Morton.

Acute yellow atrophies.

Not communicable.

Not infectious either. Most common cause, toxic material.

All food is prepared in a common kitchen.

What about inhalation?

Doubtful.

Let's take a look at the doses.

Charwoman is dead.

Fang is dying and Miss Noyan is ill.

If someone is out to get Fang, they'd have had to start weeks ago.

But the charwoman was only exposed to it for a few days.

She had a history of hepatitis.

It's a wonder she lasted this long.

And Miss Noyan, a secretary, would have had valuable exposure as well.

Well, whatever it is, it's still in the room.

I'll investigate.

Any guesses as to motive?

I have some thoughts.

Care to share them?

Perhaps.

At a later bargain, Mr. Ironside.

It is a very short statement, comrade.

It merely says you're not well enough to continue as head of the DPR delegation,

and you're turning the authority over to me.

Do you want to read it?

Kitty, you would not allow us to find you medical help.

You're losing the delegation anyway. You could have done it in more comfort.

Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Little China Doll?

Imperialist propaganda.

Why not?

How do you feel?

Fine. Well, that's good. One more night on that couch and my neck would be as

stiff as Mr. Soong's.

You're very kind.

But imperialistic.

I've bad news.

Dr. Feng is dead.

When? A few minutes ago.

I must go back. The doctor said you're not to be moved. Please, you must take

back. There's no reason. But Dr. Feng, no. But as a member of the delegation, I

must report. I must. My.

She'll be in trouble soon if she doesn't.

Mark.

The signs of grief are understandable, but may be taken as a sign of weakness

the enemy.

Control yourself.

Yes, Comrade Song.

I will need your assistance in planning for continued discussion with the enemy.

Yes, of course.

As head of this delegation, I demand the same loyalty you gave Dr. Fang.

I have always been loyal.

First.

And also somewhat indiscreet with the other side.

That black man, Mr. Sankis? We have only talked.

You will no longer talk.

I have anything further to do with him or any member of their side, or you'll

confined to your quarters. Is that clear?

Very clear, Mr. Thome.

That will be all, Comrade May.

She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago.

Still a sick girl. She's probably in her room. Her feet are someplace.

I'm waiting for Mr. Tsai. Would you please do your worrying somewhere else?

I think I'll take a look around.

That somewhere else.

What has happened to Dr. Feng is deplorable.

Isn't it?

Now I suppose you'll run the negotiations your way.

Negotiations? Of course not.

Not after what they've done.

The doctor has confirmed that Dr. Feng's death was caused by acute yellow

atrophy induced by these poisoned cigarettes.

A gift to Dr. Feng from their security officer.

Ironside is no better than a cheap assassin.

Our leader was murdered.

As a police officer, you think I should be outraged? Of course I do.

I would be.

Except that Dr.

Feng never smoked.

Under pressure of their obstinate refusal to negotiate, Dr. Fang began to

You saw him.

I did?

You also witnessed Ironside handing these cigarettes to Dr. Fang.

My memory seems dull.

Then let me stimulate it by reminding you that a great many influential people

would welcome these events and would show their appreciation.

I'm not sure the government feels the same.

The government may not be in a position to complain.

And if my memory should continue to fail?

Then these same influential people would be extremely displeased.

The unpleasant results are to you.

Then I really haven't any choice.

None. You will go to the local authorities and swear out a warrant for

arrest of Robert T. Ironside for murder.

You will bring it and the arresting officer to the conference room.

Mr. Ironside, I resent being sent for like a servant. No offense intended. I

in a hurry. And so am I. What is it, please?

Would you be interested in knowing what probably killed Dr. Feng?

Possibly. We've had a lab report running down toxic materials that could cause

liver damage such as Dr. Feng had.

The most common substance is carbon tetrachloride.

In its non -commercial state, odorless, tasteless.

Poisonous if inhaled long enough.

Exactly. Now your side of the bargain.

Find out how it was introduced into Dr. Feng's room. Agreed?

Is it agreed?

You'll have to learn, Chief Ironside, that in negotiation, one must not

unilaterally put all his points forth without some guarantee from the opposite

party. And in this case, you've had none.

If you will excuse me, please.

I must go into town.

If you are not going to honor your badge, I'll do it myself.

An idle threat, isn't it?

According to agreements, you are not permitted in our wing of the building.

Mark, did you find her?

No, I did not find her.

Mr. Tsai is heading for a car in front of the castle.

Get to him before he leaves and give him this.

Sure.

Tell him I said it's not always called a badge.

It's sometimes called a shield.

Okay.

Well, on your way.

Well, will you look for her?

Look, I'm a security officer, not a babysitter for romantics. Now, on your

The peace -loving people.

But the Democratic People's Republic are shocked and grieved at the loss of Dr.

McMahon.

We came here in good faith, willing to forego placing the prisoners on trial

espionage and arrange a means for their release.

I'm sure the chairman will understand.

We must break off all discussion, since we now know that the head of our

delegation has been in fact murdered.

Murdered by a member of the U .S. delegation.

This is preposterous.

My security officer has presented his evidence to the local authorities and

secured a warrant.

You will summon Mr. Tsai.

We will prove that Mr. Einstein is an assassin.

Are you aware, sir, that your charge is of the gravest nature?

I am well aware.

Please summon Mr. Tsai.

Go ahead, Mr. Tsai.

You have a warrant for arrest, Mr. Tsai?

Yes, sir.

For Mr. Thung.

Sire, what are you doing?

That is not what we were led to believe, sir.

I am aware of that.

It is what you did, Mr. Thung.

Two counts of murder, one count of attempted murder.

I'm under your protection, Mr. Chairman.

Until I hear the particulates.

Please continue, Mr. Sire.

Item.

Chambermaid dead.

Comrade Feng dead.

Comrade Nguyen stricken.

All three cases, acute yellow atrophy.

Item, causative agent, toxic chemical. All three were in contact with.

Item, toxic chemical used.

Carbon tetrachloride. Inhaling any considerable amount.

Irritation of the liver, acute yellow atrophy.

The laboratory specimen was taken from this bottle.

Now, the method.

Come in.

You were cleaning the room of Dr. Fang?

Yes. Using this?

Yes, sir.

It was given to me to use.

By whom?

By that man.

How often were you to clean?

Two, three times a day.

What strength?

He say, right from the bottle. The floors, the rugs, the curtains,

Thank you.

I'm satisfied.

Mr. Strong, I remove my protection from you.

I remind you of my diplomatic immunity.

And I remind you, sir, of the unofficial nature of these meetings.

You are here as a private citizen, engaged in private talks.

Therefore, you are subject to our loss.

You realize what will happen to you when you return to our land.

Mr. Chairman, the U .S. delegation is grieved by these events.

But to ensure that the negotiations will not founder, we would be pleased to

accept Mr. Stey as temporary chief negotiator until an accredited

arrives.

We would be honored to receive the attention of one who will soon be a

-renowned hero.

Perhaps back home, they will feel kindly toward a hero.

Congratulations, Mr. Guy.

Now we can get on with the business at hand.

Indeed.

Now for a little four in the Cold War.

Mr. Chairman, we have examined the agendas proposed by Mr. Halstead and

reject it out of hand.

It is obviously an attempt on the part of the United States to legalize their

criminal invasion.

of the peace -loving Democratic People's Republic.

The Democratic People's Republic will consider nothing short of the original

terms proposed by the late Dr.

Fang.

These films were just flown in, Bob. I thought you'd like to see them before

they hit the evening newscast.

Thank you very much.

When you're ready, Mark.

This is the checkpoint on the border.

There's Cy.

How come they didn't gang up on Cy when he got back home?

They didn't dare.

Every paper in the world printed the story of what happened. He's an

international figure now.

Chief Ironside's idea.

You made him a hero.

I just reminded him that he was a cop.

There's an old oriental saying.

If a man cannot keep his self -respect, how can he make other men righteous?

Charlie Chan?

Confucius?

No.

I found that in a fortune cookie.

While Gary manages to act responsibly with his time travel, at least most of

time, the same can't be said for Ron, and it puts Gary in serious danger in

Goodnight, Sweetheart. Next.