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1
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:03,828
♪
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,050
What is gout?
3
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,008
Are you a 15th century
British monarch?
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,657
No.
5
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:08,569
You don't have it.
6
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:09,443
Hmm.
7
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,230
God, there's like
5,000 questions.
8
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,539
You're a city employee now.
9
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,355
Half your life is gonna be
paperwork, congrats.
10
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,894
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?
11
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,889
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,
12
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,501
it seems like a conflict
of interest.
13
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,812
[Dispatch] Truck 12.
14
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:26,457
Resident reporting problem
with rabbits.
15
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:27,851
907 Maple Lane.
16
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:32,769
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?
17
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:33,821
[chuckles]
18
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,300
[Dispatch] Are you going
or not?
19
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:39,907
Yes. We'll hop right on over.
20
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:40,649
That's it, get out.
21
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:41,999
What?
22
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,128
We talked about this,
23
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,607
two lame jokes before coffee,
get out.
24
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,479
[Shred] Wait, really?
You were serious about that?
25
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,831
As a heart attack.
26
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,530
Hey. Come on.
27
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:52,098
You're taking this too far, Frank.
28
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:57,101
You can come back!
I learned my lesson!
29
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,098
No jokes before coffee!
30
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:03,544
[theme song]
31
00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:27,701
♪
32
00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:33,572
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety
33
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:37,401
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.
34
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,581
Oh, that was faster
than I thought.
35
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,968
This gentleman's bunnies
ate his drugs.
36
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,191
They've been acting
really aggressive.
37
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,893
They look pretty chill to me.
38
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:52,590
Yeah, but in a circling
the wagon conspiratorial
sort of way.
39
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,590
Look at them.
Plotting something evil.
40
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:58,513
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high
41
00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,679
better than their owner,
42
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:02,335
but sure, we'll take them in
for observation.
43
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:05,169
Hey hippies!
Sorry, summer of love is over.
44
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,208
Time to sleep it off downtown.
45
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,258
[Frank] What is happening?
46
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,613
- Hey! Ow!
- [rabbits squealing]
47
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:15,400
Jeez! My God!
Come on! Ow!
48
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,486
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!
49
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,616
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.
50
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,928
[Frank] What the hell did you
put in that chocolate?
51
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,315
I used to be a cop.
52
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,188
I busted international
crime rings.
53
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,229
And I'm getting...
54
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,414
- Hey.
- I thought you were brave.
55
00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,059
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?
56
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,932
The breakfast burritos...
four stars.
57
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:33,810
What's up with
the first-aid kit?
58
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:36,625
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.
59
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,505
Really? What kind?
60
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,416
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.
61
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,381
No, no, the drugs.
What kinds of drugs?
62
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:45,249
It's like psychedelic mushrooms.
63
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,472
The homeowner makes
his own chocolates.
64
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,431
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight
65
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,610
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?
66
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:52,646
Did he mention that?
67
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,521
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
68
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,392
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving
69
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,313
and they're calling the shots.
70
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:01,138
Everybody relax, okay?
I got a couple rabbits at home.
71
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,437
I speak fluent bunny.
72
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,189
I mean, you might wanna
film this.
73
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,006
Could be a valuable
teaching tool.
74
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,674
Hey guys.
How are you doing?
75
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,670
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.
76
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,334
Yeah, we let the kids
name them.
77
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:21,769
And they are just as cute
and adorable...
78
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,638
...as you, uh-huh.
79
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,079
That Phyllis,
she's the mama.
80
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,466
Oh, aren't you a little
love muffin?
81
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:30,780
[chitters]
82
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:32,465
[screams]
83
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,563
Oh! Get off me,
you mangy bitch!
84
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,262
Hey Shred, you're always trying
to be smarter.
85
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,259
Look up "hoisted on
one's own petard"
86
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,482
and it will literally be
a picture of this.
87
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,441
Argh!!!
88
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:44,834
Uh, should we call
for backup?
89
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,103
Bunny backup?
90
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,396
Dude, do you have any idea
of the ridicule
91
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,621
that will come our way?
92
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,269
No. We got this.
93
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:54,795
Cuddle time is over.
94
00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,497
[heroic music playing]
95
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:06,511
♪
96
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:12,161
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate
97
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:16,125
for our vet so she can calibrate
an overdose treatment.
98
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,205
Right, of course.
Anything to help.
99
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,564
And, um, look,
100
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,610
I know I shouldn't be messing
around with drugs.
101
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,999
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.
102
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,272
Yeah. Drugs are bad.
103
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,006
Uh, make sure you get
all of them.
104
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,530
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
105
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,363
No, I'm not.
Not even a little bit.
106
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:38,371
I suspect his bars
contain psilocybin and 2CB.
107
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,185
That combination is known
to give you orgasms
108
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,413
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.
109
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:45,553
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.
110
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:46,716
Okay. Just remember,
111
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,551
you promised to watch the kids
this weekend, okay?
112
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,199
And they're very excited,
113
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,772
they picked out a movie
and everything, Freaky Friday.
114
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:52,729
It's a silly premise
115
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,287
but, uh, the emotion
really sneaks up on you.
116
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,124
- Yeah. I...
- It does.
117
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,730
- I will be there.
- Okay.
118
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,731
The chocolates are
for tonight.
119
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,522
Do you remember that guy
I met in Costa Rica?
120
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,126
Yeah. The... the yogi
or the surfer?
121
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,606
The yogi.
122
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,086
So, he's in town, but he's only
free for one night.
123
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,606
Mmhmm.
124
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,089
He's really flexible.
Just, like... not with his time.
125
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,440
Right.
126
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,219
Anyway, what are you guys up to
for your big date?
127
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,273
Oh, we're actually gonna go eat
Swedish meatballs at Ikea.
128
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:14,839
And test out futons.
129
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,396
I know it sounds pathetic
but I'm actually really excited.
130
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,583
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.
131
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:19,799
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
132
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,798
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.
133
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,410
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up
134
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,372
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies
135
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,330
and end up switching places.
136
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,203
Is that what happens
in the movie?
137
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,251
I don't wanna ruin it for you.
138
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,506
You just did like... like you
told me the ending.
139
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,509
Maybe I didn't though.
140
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,474
- Or maybe I did.
- Huh.
141
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:46,126
Oh, at least it's donut Wednesday.
142
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,789
What abomination is this?
143
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,136
Who's day is it?
I want answers.
144
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,526
I want revenge.
145
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,529
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?
146
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,231
'Cause I love jicama.
147
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,538
No. I want revenge.
Shout it with me.
148
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,965
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
149
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,411
Revenge!
150
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,757
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.
151
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,536
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
152
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,112
Revenge!
153
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,885
[whispers] Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.
154
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,293
There's been a horrible accident,
155
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,588
I gotta call you back.
156
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:18,424
Revenge.
157
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,861
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
158
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,858
Okay, I proudly take responsibility.
159
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:25,340
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.
160
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,521
Handed down to us
by the Romans.
161
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:30,257
You defiled this holy tabernacle
with your cru d'été.
162
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,479
This is our tabernacle, Delores.
163
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,479
Okay. This office
has a serious case
164
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,791
of the late morning
sugar blues
165
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,656
and someone
had to intervene.
166
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:40,438
How dare you act unilaterally.
167
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,013
It's America.
It's donuts.
168
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,321
Shred, throw that away.
169
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:45,137
- Oh, come on.
- Throw it away.
170
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,063
It's just a jicama stick.
171
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,667
Throw it away.
Spit it out.
172
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:48,798
This is very disappointing.
173
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,589
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?
174
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,935
Oh, you sad, sad man.
175
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:56,545
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.
176
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,507
What rabbits? I didn't
hear anything about rabbits.
177
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,985
Ha! Because there were
no rabbits.
178
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,679
Hey Emily.
Got your speech ready?
179
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:04,864
Who told you about that?
180
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,779
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.
181
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,465
Whoa. I don't know what
it stands for but congrats.
182
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,653
Why didn't you tell us?
183
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,518
I... I just get a little nervous
184
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,220
so I just wanted to keep it
under the radar.
185
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,477
That's why I'm here.
186
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:19,960
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.
187
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,921
And I know how much you hate
public speaking, so...
188
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:25,230
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.
189
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,787
Of course.
190
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,454
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.
191
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,708
- And, uh...
- Uh-huh.
192
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,450
They film it and post it
on their website
193
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,841
and it's up there forever.
194
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,593
So, nobody looks at it.
[whispers] Yes, they do.
195
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,585
I watched your speech, Templeton.
196
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,847
- Several times, so funny.
- Big fan.
197
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,460
What kind of truck does
a pig drive?
198
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,722
A hambulance.
199
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,904
Ah, that line killed.
200
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,769
[laughs]
201
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,730
Anyway, uh, happy to step in
for you
202
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:51,209
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.
203
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,819
Thank you so much.
204
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,690
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?
205
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,041
Heading out now.
206
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,300
Oh! What's that?
207
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:02,664
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.
208
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,054
- Boom!
- [phone alerts chiming]
209
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,530
Fixed it. Enjoy.
210
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:12,934
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.
211
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,967
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.
212
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,932
Oh, he did know about
the rabbits.
213
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:17,761
[Frank] Ugh.
214
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:18,978
[Delores] Look at you guys
running away
215
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,717
from the li'l rabbits!
216
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:21,677
We were regrouping!
217
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,625
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!
218
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,774
What... what are these,
green peppers?!
219
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,716
Okay. I support healthy choices, Delores,
220
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,864
but it is donut Wednesday.
221
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:33,467
I am stressed and I need sugar
so you need to fix this.
222
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:35,909
Revenge!
223
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,076
[all in unison]
Revenge!
224
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,303
[Emily attempting
to breathe calmly]
225
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,653
Hey. Hey.
226
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,003
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.
227
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,963
Oh yeah, uh, too late.
Uh, he is... he is in there.
228
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,013
Okay, listen.
229
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:52,748
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.
230
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,009
Like, it got bad.
231
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,622
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist
232
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,583
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.
233
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,152
If you wanna try.
234
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,498
Okay.
235
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,627
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay.
236
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,369
'Cause my heart is um...
really pounding.
237
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,980
Okay. Um, so, close
your eyes.
238
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,501
Yeah.
239
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,814
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.
240
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,422
Now, you're about
to start a race
241
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,032
against this big-ass Swiss dude.
242
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,472
Wait. No. Sorry.
243
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,039
Visualize yourself giving
the speech.
244
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:23,607
Confident, calm, looking
super fly in your business suit
245
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,476
and the crowd is loving it.
246
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:31,659
They're chanting your name.
Emily! Emily! Emily!
247
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,698
Well, it's a professional conference
248
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,054
so there's not really
a whole lot of chanting.
249
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,363
No chanting?
250
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,709
- No.
- That's too bad.
251
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,759
Okay. Then just
visualize yourself
252
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,015
absolutely crushing the speech.
253
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:44,708
Okay.
254
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,197
How's your heart rate?
255
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,847
It is actually better.
[laughs]
256
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,604
You're gonna medal for sure.
257
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,728
Oh, um... remind me.
258
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,172
In my outfit you said
I looked, um...
259
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:08,219
Super fly.
Right, okay.
260
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,532
♪
261
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,099
[Shred] Okay. Only one
big question left.
262
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:23,487
Who's going to step up
and be my emergency contact?
263
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,102
Don't you have family
you can ask?
264
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,763
My dad died and my mom
moved to Florida.
265
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,188
But she's got a sweet condo
on the beach
266
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,764
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact
267
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,202
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.
268
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:37,249
Oh. Well, I hope you and that
guy without boundaries
269
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,895
have fun with your mom.
270
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:42,079
No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no!
271
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:45,646
Guys, who ate one of
my chocolate bars?
272
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,555
There were three
and now there's two.
273
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,129
And they were hidden
way at the back
274
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,687
with my frickin' name on it.
275
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,654
If your name's on it,
that's sacrosanct.
276
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,132
You can look that word up, Shred.
277
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:55,091
[whispers] Sacrosanct...
278
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,179
Although I did eat Patel's
ice cream bar.
279
00:10:57,178 --> 00:11:00,088
What? I was saving that
for my end of the week treat!
280
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,704
Oh, you were
intolerable yesterday.
281
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,395
It demanded a response.
282
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,931
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?
283
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,966
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.
284
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:08,891
The Mariners don't have
a shot this year.
285
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,665
Oh, that tuna sandwich
is gonna taste...
286
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,930
The Mariners
don't have a shot...
287
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:13,893
Okay, I think we're done here.
288
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,590
I need to know who ate
my chocolate bar.
289
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:17,679
Shred, check the waste
baskets now.
290
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,677
Thanks. Great.
291
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,898
Uh, those chocolate bars
were laced
292
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,896
with high-grade hallucinogenics.
293
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,988
Have you seen double rainbow?
294
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,467
Someone's about to be 10 times
more like that guy
295
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,687
than that guy was.
296
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,776
Hey. Did Emily make it back?
297
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:31,868
Uh... I'm not sure.
298
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,035
I was gonna give her
a ride
299
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,127
but she ran off after
her presentation.
300
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,349
Um... can this wait?
301
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,607
It's just, we're in the middle
of a bit of a crisis.
302
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,611
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.
303
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,923
She was funny,
talking off the cuff...
304
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,490
she even sang at one point.
305
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,578
Oh God.
306
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,967
Emily ate the chocolate.
307
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,190
All of it?
308
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,538
It looks that way, yeah.
309
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,627
Code red.
310
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,186
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.
311
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,593
She's binging.
312
00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,626
Actually, I threw
the cookies out.
313
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:00,981
You'll thank me later.
314
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,851
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!
315
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:07,814
I want my own refrigerator.
'Kay?
316
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,344
Delores, I want
my own refrigerator!
317
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,171
So, who's your emergency
contact?
318
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,519
My father.
319
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,998
Aww, I didn't know you were
close with your dad.
320
00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:19,738
We're not.
I hate that son of a bitch.
321
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,219
Then why did you choose him?
322
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,219
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.
323
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,531
With any luck,
324
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:27,223
I'll be a vegetable
requiring 24-hour care.
325
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,754
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.
326
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,189
Yeah, of course he was.
327
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,005
My only regret is I never
got to tell him
328
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,623
how much he meant to me.
329
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,803
I mean, he probably knew
because I told him
330
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,189
I loved him every day.
331
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,241
Except when my phone died,
332
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,146
which happened a lot when I was
competing in Europe
333
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,630
'cause I didn't have
the right plugs.
334
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,941
Point is... don't leave
things unsaid.
335
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,328
Call your dad.
336
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,030
You know, they make those
three-in-one adapters.
337
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,600
They have for years.
338
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:52,766
Really?
339
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,512
Now I have two regrets.
340
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,734
[Dispatch] Truck 12. Pet python
escaped its enclosure.
341
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,874
7276 South Kenwood.
342
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,217
And get this.
It's JT Wallace's house.
343
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:04,997
Holy crap. JT Wallace.
344
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,261
Oh, who's that?
345
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,874
Are you serious?
346
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,144
The wide receiver
for the Seahawks?
347
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,567
In what world could I have been
your emergency contact?
348
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:13,884
Get out.
349
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,060
[Shred] What, really?
We're doing this again?
350
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,615
I'm not... I can't even
look at you.
351
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,539
Don't look at me!
352
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,239
[Victoria] How the hell
are we gonna find her?
353
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:29,552
I don't know.
354
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:30,507
It's just like looking
for someone's lost mutt.
355
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:34,675
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?
356
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:35,863
I know you're kidding
but do you have beef strips?
357
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:36,948
Everything I was gonna eat today
358
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,207
got senselessly ripped away
from me.
359
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,945
No. I don't eat gassy foods
on sex days.
360
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,261
Ooh, how's it going
with the yogi by the way?
361
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,296
Do you like him?
362
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,781
As a person?
363
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,740
He's done so much healing
364
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,699
he's healed himself right out of
an actual personality.
365
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:51,087
But in bed, and I say this
as someone
366
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,311
with a sufficiently large
sample pool,
367
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,880
- Mmmhmm.
- uh, he's detail-oriented.
368
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,707
Hmm.
369
00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:58,265
I used to be detail-oriented.
370
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,712
That was before I was tired
all the time.
371
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,669
Maybe you should try
some of this.
372
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:04,799
- No.
- I'll give you a little.
373
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,710
No. I can't eat that.
374
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:06,891
Yes, you can.
Give it a shot.
375
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,979
It makes everything feel amazing
376
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:09,848
and you're not really doing
anything different.
377
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,679
It's almost like cheating.
378
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,111
My life's not built for that.
379
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:16,163
Every night I'm taking a kid
to the ER.
380
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,939
Or talking another one down
from a nightmare.
381
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,994
Last night it was
global warming.
382
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,339
I can't discuss polar ice caps
all high and horny.
383
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,600
Oh, my God.
Is that Emily?
384
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,782
[cheering]
385
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:32,439
[chanting]
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!
386
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,618
Even Seahawk colors.
387
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,104
Sheesh. You almost beat me.
388
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,150
Yeah. Asher knows
all the shortcuts.
389
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,796
Hey, good luck
with your girlfriend, buddy.
390
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,370
I sincerely hope everything
works out.
391
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,927
[Girlfriend] Thank God
you're here. Hurry!
392
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,157
He was cleaning the cage.
393
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,457
Holy crap.
394
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,032
It's huge.
395
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,380
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?
396
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,158
No. And I can't tell you
how much,
397
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,733
but something that's not nothing
just slipped out of me
398
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,120
and into my underwear.
399
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,782
It's getting tighter.
400
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,726
Just remain calm, we're gonna
unwind it from you.
401
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,354
Shred, grab the head.
402
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,825
I'm not grabbing the head, man.
It's scary and gross.
403
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,475
The Seahawks have a very shallow
depth chart,
404
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,789
now grab the head.
405
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,125
I'm not touching that thing.
406
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,404
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.
407
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,877
Help him!
408
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,916
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.
409
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,052
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.
410
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,745
Is this a bad time to tell you
that I'm a big fan?
411
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,231
[JT] Yes.
412
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:29,931
Okay. Well, it would just
seem phony
413
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,369
if I didn't say anything, right?
414
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,185
Listen, man, you get
this thing off me,
415
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,323
I'll sign anything you want.
416
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,944
Really? How about a football?
417
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,975
- Yes.
- How about a jersey?
418
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:37,980
- Yes.
- A helmet?
419
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,460
Yes.
420
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,030
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats-
421
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,327
- Anything!
- That are collectible.
422
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:43,772
[gasps]
423
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,769
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.
424
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,857
[groaning]
Okay, yeah, yeah...
425
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,953
Oh, my God.
It's on me now.
426
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,133
If I don't make it...
beat the Rams.
427
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,000
[Victoria] Oh, my god.
428
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,183
Emily! Hey!
How's it going, girl?
429
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,790
Oh, man. You are really good
out there.
430
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,271
What'd you play
in high school?
431
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,970
- Yeah.
- What are you guys doing here?
432
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,358
Uh, we, we just, uh...
433
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,190
we just came to take you back
to the office.
434
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,408
To the office.
435
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:18,107
Oh. No. I'm not going back.
436
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,407
Yeah. I'm...
I'm never going back.
437
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,814
Bye!
438
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,586
Oh, I hate running.
439
00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:26,031
- Emily! Emily!
- Emily!!
440
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,288
My god, she's out of control.
441
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,600
[Patel] Hello! Emily! Slow down!
Stop guys!
442
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:29,636
Guys, guys, stop her!
443
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,470
Whoo!
My whole body's buzzing.
444
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,168
I've never felt more alive!
445
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,206
Dude, that snake had plans
for you.
446
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,211
A brush with death
447
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,872
and an encounter with
a world-class athlete.
448
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,127
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.
449
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,350
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.
450
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,051
Listen, don't get needy but
you were pretty good back there.
451
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,009
Really?
452
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,357
You're already being needy.
453
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,446
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,
454
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,005
I can't imagine being in battle
with anyone else.
455
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,933
Snake brothers forever!
456
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,758
Oh, 100 percent did this
to myself.
457
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,365
- Again?
- Give me those forms.
458
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,277
- What? What did I do?
- Give me those forms.
459
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:05,332
- You'll be my emergency contact?
- Give them to me.
460
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:08,508
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.
461
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:09,586
Ooooh!
462
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,285
Alright!
463
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,512
Whoo!
464
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,861
[Emily] I'm finally coming out
of my cocoon!
465
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,041
[Victoria] You're high on drugs!
466
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,907
No, I'm high on life!
467
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,039
[Victoria] Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.
468
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,482
- [Emily] Ah!
- [Victoria] Yes!
469
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,828
[Victoria] No, No.
470
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:26,867
Oh, here we go.
471
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,400
I mean, I went to Vienna once
472
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:34,052
but I mostly just stayed
in the hotel.
473
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,103
Like, what was I afraid of?
474
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:39,059
Mmhmm.
I can't do this anymore.
475
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,798
I am afraid of so many things.
476
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:42,539
What does that mean?
477
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:43,019
You can go.
478
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,188
This is my fault anyway
479
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,634
and I've done this, like,
a hundred times.
480
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:49,499
Listen, if you need anything,
anything at all,
481
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,853
just don't call me.
482
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,159
Bye Emily.
483
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,119
Oh, bye- whoa, you have
gorgeous teeth.
484
00:17:56,118 --> 00:18:00,118
[laughing]
Thank you. Okay.
485
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:05,082
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?
486
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,044
No, I didn't.
487
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:08,871
- Okay. Um, I can.
- Okay.
488
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,090
- Venezuela.
- Yeah.
489
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,959
- Ecuador.
- I deserve this.
490
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,050
Colombia, Paraguay.
491
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,178
[knocking]
492
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,972
Oh, look what the cat
dragged in.
493
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,009
It's nice to see you
too, Dad.
494
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,975
Look, um... I had a near-death
experience today
495
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:31,325
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.
496
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,107
I'm listening.
497
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,332
Anyway, I just wanted you
to know
498
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,250
that you're a terrible father
499
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:39,285
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.
500
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,300
So that's it.
Those are the two items.
501
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,170
Well look, uh...
you came this far,
502
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,351
at least come in
and have a beer.
503
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:52,647
Did you just hear what I said?
504
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:56,353
Yeah. Bad father and, uh...
the rotting thing.
505
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,752
You want a beer or not?
506
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,623
What kind you got?
507
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:04,137
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.
508
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,283
You too good for Rainier now?
509
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,535
I've always been too good
for Rainier.
510
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:09,888
What are you, like, 100 now?
511
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,628
French Guyana.
Regular Guyana. Chile.
512
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:14,720
[knocking on door]
513
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:15,628
Argentina.
514
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,073
Hang on,
I have to get that.
515
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,159
Wait. No, please don't
leave me.
516
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:18,901
No, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
517
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,246
Eat your cereal.
518
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,116
Sorry, I don't have any milk.
I know it's dry.
519
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,156
Hi.
520
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,163
I'm so happy to see you.
521
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,044
Yeah, you too.
522
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:27,985
As a tantric exercise
523
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,082
I've abstained from sex
for three months.
524
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,172
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.
525
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,782
[Emily] Suriname!
I forgot Suriname.
526
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,523
- Uh...
- Who's that?
527
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:40,224
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?
528
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,092
No. There was an office fridge
mix up
529
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,104
and now she's in
another dimension.
530
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:47,055
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.
531
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:51,275
But when she comes down
I could text you.
532
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,237
Three months is
a really long time
533
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,975
and I have a few other friends
in Seattle.
534
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,277
But I'll be back in August.
535
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,464
Bye Victoria.
536
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,979
'Kay. Bye. Cool.
537
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,291
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah. Of course.
538
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:07,772
I only got my job
539
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:11,208
because of connections
in the mayor's office, so...
540
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,300
I don't deserve it,
I'm a fraud.
541
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,300
That's not true.
That's the drugs talking.
542
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,302
Everyone thinks you're great.
543
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,054
- Really?
- Yeah. You're great.
544
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:22,256
You're my best friend.
545
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,435
Oh, okay.
That's... that's really nice.
546
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,441
[phone ringing]
547
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,232
Hang on.
548
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:28,965
Hello?
549
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,096
Oh, you were right.
550
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,578
These chocolates
are a game-changer.
551
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,279
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,
552
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,576
we got the whole night
to ourselves.
553
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,243
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?
554
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,278
Yeah, post.
Pre. Pre-pre.
555
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,553
You never know.
556
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,715
Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need
to hold me.
557
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,461
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.
558
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:51,344
Oh, my God.
We ate the fortune cookies.
559
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,727
Oh, and they were
mighty delicious.
560
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,521
Freaky Friday baby!
561
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,207
- [Emily] ♪ Always count on me
- Oh boy.
562
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:00,484
[Emily] Hello Mister Mayor.
563
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:04,176
♪ Keep turning,
oh, keep smiling, ♪
564
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:07,736
♪ knowing you can
always count on me. ♪
565
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,754
♪ Everybody!
For sure! ♪
566
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,266
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.
567
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,270
♪ That's what friends are for.
568
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,842
Adopt these dogs!
41310
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