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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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- What you doing?
- I'm working.
2
00:00:06,143 --> 00:00:08,391
You're not gonna get much done
with the TV on.
3
00:00:08,611 --> 00:00:12,406
- What are you, my mother?
- Your mother says that too?
4
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,797
Listen, when you write music
for a living...
5
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:17,686
...you have to wait for inspiration.
6
00:00:21,244 --> 00:00:23,124
Nope, not yet.
7
00:00:23,963 --> 00:00:25,962
Charlie, wanna come
to the movies with us?
8
00:00:26,139 --> 00:00:28,434
He can't. He's working.
9
00:00:29,109 --> 00:00:32,369
- On what, liver failure?
- Wonderful.
10
00:00:32,539 --> 00:00:34,668
He's my mother, you're my doctor.
11
00:00:35,258 --> 00:00:38,804
Oh, I assume you finished reading
Lord of the Flies for your book report.
12
00:00:38,981 --> 00:00:40,480
Oh, good. How'd you like it?
13
00:00:41,198 --> 00:00:45,042
I thought it was
a timeless American classic.
14
00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:49,519
I see. So tell me, what's it about?
15
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,992
- You mean the book?
- Yeah, the book.
16
00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:57,254
It's called Lord of the Flies...
17
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:02,358
...and it's about a really big fly...
18
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:05,627
...that all the other flies pray to.
19
00:01:07,469 --> 00:01:12,479
- And you thought he didn't read it.
- Oh, I was just joking.
20
00:01:14,957 --> 00:01:19,348
It's more like Charlotte's Web,
but from the fly's point of view.
21
00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:23,950
You've had more than a week.
Why didn't you read the book?
22
00:01:25,625 --> 00:01:30,765
- I've been waiting for inspiration.
- Attaboy.
23
00:01:30,979 --> 00:01:34,441
Okay, how's this for inspiration?
We're not going to the movies...
24
00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:37,878
...and you're not doing anything
until you finish reading that book.
25
00:01:38,886 --> 00:01:41,431
- That's not fair.
- Course it's fair. We had a deal.
26
00:01:41,605 --> 00:01:45,484
- You didn't keep your end of it.
- Oh, so now two wrongs make a right?
27
00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:48,798
Bet you didn't see that one coming.
28
00:01:50,139 --> 00:01:53,018
You're really gonna like this book
if you give it a chance.
29
00:01:53,192 --> 00:01:55,821
It's about kids
stranded on a deserted island.
30
00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:58,666
- How'd they get stranded?
- Their plane crashes.
31
00:01:58,882 --> 00:02:00,761
Oh, really. And then what happens?
32
00:02:00,931 --> 00:02:05,024
This one kid named Ralph becomes their
leader, and they form this society, and...
33
00:02:05,491 --> 00:02:07,620
Just read the book.
34
00:02:10,093 --> 00:02:15,946
- One big fly, huh?
- Hey, I took a shot.
35
00:02:31,595 --> 00:02:33,177
Hi.
36
00:02:34,858 --> 00:02:37,903
- Charlie's working, Rose.
- Oh, what about Jake?
37
00:02:38,999 --> 00:02:40,831
He's studying.
38
00:02:41,676 --> 00:02:45,352
- Hey, do you like smoked salmon?
- I guess.
39
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,780
Good. Then this is for you.
40
00:02:52,385 --> 00:02:56,776
- I don't know what to say.
- Neither do I, most of the time.
41
00:02:56,945 --> 00:02:59,908
But then I start talking,
and stuff just comes out.
42
00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:04,891
So, what are you doing
this fine Saturday night?
43
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:07,525
I was supposed go to the movies
with Jake...
44
00:03:07,696 --> 00:03:09,778
...but he didn't
do his homework, so...
45
00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:14,007
So you're punishing him by sitting out
here all by yourself, alone and miserable.
46
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,262
What a good dad.
47
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:20,365
If you still wanna go to the movies,
I'll go with you.
48
00:03:20,957 --> 00:03:26,215
- You and me? Like a...? Like a date?
- Alan, are you asking me out?
49
00:03:26,897 --> 00:03:30,573
- I don't think so.
- Okay.
50
00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:36,008
That was a little awkward.
Come on, we'll catch an early show.
51
00:03:36,226 --> 00:03:39,236
Oh, all right. All right, why not.
52
00:03:39,447 --> 00:03:41,826
I'll sneak in the salmon
under my sweater.
53
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:46,967
Good. That way, we don't have to pay
for that overpriced movie fish.
54
00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:51,400
- Hey. What you doing?
- Working.
55
00:03:53,126 --> 00:03:55,422
How do you know
when you're on a break?
56
00:03:55,594 --> 00:03:59,390
That's the thing about being a grownup,
my little friend: You don't get breaks.
57
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:06,335
Is this the new
Oshikuru: Demon Samuraï?
58
00:04:07,098 --> 00:04:09,061
- Yeah.
- What are you doing with it?
59
00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:13,193
It's being turned into a cartoon, and they
asked me to write the theme song.
60
00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:15,455
- Awesome.
- Yeah?
61
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:18,213
- Wanna hear what I got so far?
- Sure.
62
00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:21,189
So I'll be, like, the first kid in the world
to hear this.
63
00:04:21,447 --> 00:04:23,076
Yep.
64
00:04:23,455 --> 00:04:27,000
Now, this is just a rough version,
but you get an idea of the feel of it.
65
00:04:27,178 --> 00:04:28,677
Okay.
66
00:04:30,064 --> 00:04:36,882
Oh, oh, oh, oh, OshikuruOh, oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
67
00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:41,773
My, oh, myHe's a demon samurai
68
00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:45,616
Who 's the guy who had to die?Oshikuru
69
00:04:46,128 --> 00:04:49,888
Boy. That really blows.
70
00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:52,941
Excuse me?
71
00:04:53,407 --> 00:04:57,667
- Did you even read the comic?
- Yeah, I looked it over.
72
00:04:58,050 --> 00:04:59,965
Oh, really? What's it about?
73
00:05:02,401 --> 00:05:05,327
It's about this guy named Oshikuru,
who dies...
74
00:05:05,497 --> 00:05:09,458
...and comes back as a,
what do you call it, samurai.
75
00:05:09,722 --> 00:05:12,482
- And he's a demon.
- No.
76
00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:15,779
It's about a teenage boy
in a futuristic society...
77
00:05:15,955 --> 00:05:19,465
...who's possessed by the tortured soul
of a feudal Japanese warrior...
78
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:22,931
...condemned to walk the earth
fighting the evil he once embodied.
79
00:05:23,485 --> 00:05:25,364
So, what's your point?
80
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,996
He lives in a dark world.
He battles the spirits of the damned.
81
00:05:29,174 --> 00:05:32,517
Your theme doesn't
capture the mood at all. It just blows.
82
00:05:32,939 --> 00:05:38,162
- Okay, okay, you said "blows" already.
- Did I say "big baby chunks"?
83
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,630
All right, fine. Thanks for your input.
84
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:45,272
Why don't you go read Lord of the Flies,
and let me do my job.
85
00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:49,373
Well, if your job is ruining a great
comic book, you can call it a night.
86
00:05:49,588 --> 00:05:52,051
- I heard that.
- Good.
87
00:05:55,738 --> 00:06:00,413
Oh, no. What do you wanna bet
Shrek here sits right in front of us.
88
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:02,220
Don't worry. It'll be all right.
89
00:06:06,363 --> 00:06:09,289
You had to eat the chili cheeseburger.
90
00:06:13,475 --> 00:06:17,484
- That wasn't really necessary.
- You'd have done the same thing for me.
91
00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:20,117
I'm not so sure.
92
00:06:20,586 --> 00:06:24,678
- So, Alan, tell me about yourself.
- What would you like to know?
93
00:06:25,062 --> 00:06:27,608
Everything. I really don't know
that much about you...
94
00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:31,291
...aside from the fact that you're
Charlie's brother and Jake's dad.
95
00:06:31,463 --> 00:06:35,056
Graduated from Cal State Long Beach,
married your college sweetheart...
96
00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:39,284
...and in the middle of the night, when
you're half-asleep, you pee sitting down.
97
00:06:39,996 --> 00:06:42,923
- Have you been spying on me?
- No, silly.
98
00:06:43,092 --> 00:06:47,054
I spy on Charlie.
You just get in the way sometimes.
99
00:06:47,484 --> 00:06:50,364
You know what?
Why don't you tell me about you.
100
00:06:50,538 --> 00:06:53,417
Well, okay. Well, let's see.
101
00:06:53,592 --> 00:06:57,602
I, too, pee sitting down,
so we have that in common.
102
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:01,578
I come from a wealthy family, so I guess
I've had kind of a sheltered life.
103
00:07:01,749 --> 00:07:04,212
You know, fancy private schools
and colleges.
104
00:07:04,385 --> 00:07:06,348
- No kidding.
- What college did you go to?
105
00:07:06,518 --> 00:07:08,267
Princeton. But just for two years.
106
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:12,329
- Oh, so you dropped out?
- No, I finished.
107
00:07:13,504 --> 00:07:16,598
Then I came back to California
to do my master's at Stanford.
108
00:07:16,809 --> 00:07:19,188
That's amazing.
What's your degree in?
109
00:07:24,255 --> 00:07:25,718
Behavioral psychology.
110
00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:34,873
Hey, Jake. Jake, wake up.
I want you to hear something.
111
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:37,338
- What?
- I've been working on the song.
112
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:41,151
- Good for you.
- Come on. Come listen to it.
113
00:07:41,323 --> 00:07:45,166
- I'm sleeping.
- Sleep in school, like everybody else.
114
00:07:48,142 --> 00:07:50,105
I read the comic books cover to cover.
115
00:07:50,275 --> 00:07:53,201
I know the characters,
I know their world.
116
00:07:53,371 --> 00:07:56,714
I think I got it. Listen.
117
00:07:58,349 --> 00:08:03,822
A teenage boy with the spirit insideOf a samurai warrior who long ago died
118
00:08:04,164 --> 00:08:08,256
Now he's oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
119
00:08:08,430 --> 00:08:11,643
Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
120
00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:16,875
My, oh, myHe's a demon samurai
121
00:08:17,048 --> 00:08:20,891
Who 's the guy who had to die?Oshikuru
122
00:08:22,863 --> 00:08:24,908
Still blows.
123
00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:30,258
Yeah, well, you're still short.
124
00:08:32,652 --> 00:08:34,234
- Hey.
- Hey.
125
00:08:34,408 --> 00:08:37,335
Sorry I'm late. We stopped
for a bite to eat after the movie.
126
00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:41,895
- No problem.
- An usher confiscated our fish.
127
00:08:43,737 --> 00:08:46,116
- Hey, can I play you something?
- Sure.
128
00:08:46,289 --> 00:08:48,454
You know, I had a really good time
with Rose.
129
00:08:48,632 --> 00:08:50,880
There's a lot more there
than meets the eye.
130
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:53,980
Yeah. Cool. Listen to this.
Tell me what you think.
131
00:08:56,789 --> 00:09:02,310
A teenage boy with the spirit insideOf a samurai warrior who long ago died
132
00:09:02,478 --> 00:09:06,488
Now he's oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
133
00:09:06,661 --> 00:09:09,790
Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
134
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:15,273
My, oh, myHe's a demon samurai
135
00:09:15,446 --> 00:09:19,040
Who 's the guy who had to die?Oshikuru
136
00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:22,001
Very nice. It's snappy.
137
00:09:22,181 --> 00:09:24,513
- You really like it?
- Yeah, yeah. Good work.
138
00:09:27,703 --> 00:09:32,295
Okay, that settles it. It blows.
139
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:39,321
Berta, you know what's a good book?
Lord of the Flies.
140
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,426
Oh, yeah. I read that
when I was about your age.
141
00:09:42,637 --> 00:09:45,218
- So, what'd you think?
- I liked it.
142
00:09:45,398 --> 00:09:51,871
- It was like Survivor with kids.
- Yeah. I agree.
143
00:09:54,853 --> 00:09:59,278
- Is Survivor spelled like it sounds?
- Just read the damn book.
144
00:10:00,835 --> 00:10:02,333
- Morning, Berta.
- Morning.
145
00:10:02,508 --> 00:10:06,684
Hey, did you know that Rose
has a master's degree in psychology?
146
00:10:06,858 --> 00:10:10,154
No. Did you know I'm a
founding member of the Mile High Club?
147
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:14,254
- Really?
- Yeah. Me and Orville at Kitty Hawk.
148
00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:17,774
I'd have done Wilbur too, but we were
only in the air for 90 seconds.
149
00:10:19,199 --> 00:10:22,293
Okay, you're kidding, and it's funny.
150
00:10:22,462 --> 00:10:25,222
But the truth is, you and I
see each other every day...
151
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:27,389
...and we don't know
much about each other.
152
00:10:27,775 --> 00:10:31,035
So you wanna know what goes on
underneath this gruff exterior.
153
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:33,965
Whether somewhere inside me,
there's a tiny little girl...
154
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,429
...who once dreamed of being
a famous ballerina.
155
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:38,266
- Is there?
- Lf there is...
156
00:10:38,442 --> 00:10:41,821
...it's because I accidentally ate one
and haven't passed her yet.
157
00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:45,842
Let me tell you,
I am dreading that tiara.
158
00:10:46,934 --> 00:10:51,860
- Okay. Well, it was nice talking to you.
- Hey, I feel closer.
159
00:10:54,213 --> 00:10:56,509
Oh, are you starting
that book report already?
160
00:10:56,974 --> 00:11:00,103
- Just making notes.
- Good for you. What do you have so far?
161
00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:03,789
Lord of the Flies is kind of like Survivor,
but with kids.
162
00:11:04,922 --> 00:11:07,718
That's an interesting analogy.
What's your favorite part?
163
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:13,615
When the first kid
gets voted off the island?
164
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,775
Hey, all right.
165
00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:25,745
Stop trying to be friends with Berta.
It just pisses her off.
166
00:11:26,299 --> 00:11:27,881
What doesn't?
167
00:11:28,097 --> 00:11:31,523
Hey, I was gonna do some shopping,
and was hoping you could watch Jake.
168
00:11:31,737 --> 00:11:34,414
- Sure.
- Ready when you are, Alan.
169
00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:37,877
- Be right there. I'll see you later.
- No, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
170
00:11:38,053 --> 00:11:41,480
- You're going out with Rose again?
- No, I'm not "going out" with her.
171
00:11:41,651 --> 00:11:44,911
- We're just going shopping.
- Morning, Charlie.
172
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,426
You haven't forgotten
that she's a little bent, right?
173
00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:51,722
No, I think there's a lot more to her
than that.
174
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:56,492
- Deep down, there's a good person.
- Deep down, there's a few good people.
175
00:11:56,669 --> 00:11:59,429
And all of them are bent.
176
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,478
- He'll be right with you, Rose.
- Okay.
177
00:12:02,651 --> 00:12:05,364
- Charlie, everybody has flaws.
- Flaws?
178
00:12:05,537 --> 00:12:09,047
She Superglued my testicles
to my thigh.
179
00:12:10,432 --> 00:12:13,227
That was the past.
We've all done things we're ashamed of.
180
00:12:13,402 --> 00:12:17,578
She's not ashamed. She took a picture,
then used it for her Christmas card.
181
00:12:19,049 --> 00:12:23,356
Thank God it was an extreme close-up.
Most people thought it was a fruit bat.
182
00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:27,204
Okay, well,
I appreciate your concern...
183
00:12:27,374 --> 00:12:30,218
...but I think Rose is a sweet,
smart, interesting woman.
184
00:12:30,386 --> 00:12:32,884
I enjoy spending time with her.
Meet me out front.
185
00:12:33,231 --> 00:12:34,729
Okey-dokey.
186
00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:42,593
- Hey, what're you doing?
- Reading Lord of the Flies.
187
00:12:42,768 --> 00:12:44,767
Not important.
188
00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:49,334
- Now, listen. You're a kid, right?
- Yeah.
189
00:12:49,504 --> 00:12:51,168
Okay. I'm writing a song for kids.
190
00:12:51,344 --> 00:12:53,843
So assuming that
what I've done already blows...
191
00:12:54,021 --> 00:12:56,067
- It does.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
192
00:12:56,239 --> 00:12:58,820
Assuming that, you need to help me
make it better.
193
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,581
- But I have to do a book report.
- Okay.
194
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,723
I'll help you with the book report.
You help me with the song.
195
00:13:04,898 --> 00:13:08,241
- Quid pro quo.
- No.
196
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:12,373
"Oshikuru."
197
00:13:15,816 --> 00:13:19,076
Here you go. Raspberry-mango-banana
with a shot of wheatgrass.
198
00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:21,336
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
199
00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:26,225
You know, sometimes
I like to come to the mall...
200
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,576
...and just watch people and make up
stories about who they are...
201
00:13:29,746 --> 00:13:33,208
...and what their lives are like.
- Oh, well, that's fun.
202
00:13:33,386 --> 00:13:37,347
What about that lady over there?
What do you think her life is like?
203
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:42,250
Well, I'd say she's a smart woman,
but very Ionely.
204
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:46,217
So used to rejection, it's become
like the air she breathes...
205
00:13:46,396 --> 00:13:50,620
...which is all the more sad
because she's got so much to give.
206
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:56,475
Emotionally, spiritually, sexually.
Especially sexually.
207
00:13:56,645 --> 00:14:01,404
She is ripe, smoldering
and willing to try anything.
208
00:14:10,157 --> 00:14:14,833
- What about that lady over there?
- Her?
209
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:19,020
Well, let's see.
She's a little tougher to read.
210
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:24,672
I'd say she's a smart woman,
very Ionely.
211
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,230
So used to rejection, it's become
like the air she breathes...
212
00:14:30,445 --> 00:14:31,992
...which is all the more sad...
213
00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:36,253
See, even though Oshikuru is for kids,
it's not really a kids' comic.
214
00:14:36,428 --> 00:14:40,223
- It's very mature.
- Okay, I think I got it.
215
00:14:40,402 --> 00:14:43,364
The demons Oshikuru fights
only exist...
216
00:14:43,539 --> 00:14:48,049
...because they are a reflection
of the tortured demons in his own soul.
217
00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:51,188
- Yes.
- So, in essence...
218
00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:55,704
...Oshikuru is like a Japanese
sci-fi version of Moby Dick.
219
00:14:59,268 --> 00:15:02,778
- What?
- You said, "Moby Dick."
220
00:15:04,999 --> 00:15:07,712
I mean, sure, being single
can be Ionely sometimes...
221
00:15:07,886 --> 00:15:12,228
...but it's better than being together
with someone you don't love or respect.
222
00:15:12,404 --> 00:15:17,496
- Is that what your marriage was like?
- Well, according to my ex-wife, it was.
223
00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:20,302
Hey, as long as we're done here...
224
00:15:20,477 --> 00:15:23,523
...why don't we take a drive
down to the beach and take a walk.
225
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:26,321
- Alan, are you flirting with me?
- Oh, no, no.
226
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:29,047
I just thought, you know,
since it's a beautiful day...
227
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,100
If you are, it's okay.
228
00:15:32,609 --> 00:15:35,023
- Really?
- Yeah.
229
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:38,628
There's a lot more to you
than I thought.
230
00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:44,609
- What did you think?
- Oh, let's not spoil the moment.
231
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:50,544
Okay. So, what do we do now?
232
00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:56,369
- Wanna try kissing?
- Yes, I think we should.
233
00:16:05,071 --> 00:16:08,081
- Okay.
- Yeah.
234
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,962
- Wanna get a room?
- Excuse me?
235
00:16:12,601 --> 00:16:16,230
Or we can go back to my place,
unless you're afraid of ferrets.
236
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:20,293
- Ferrets?
- Yeah.
237
00:16:20,465 --> 00:16:23,678
I have five of the toothy little guys.
238
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:29,245
No kidding. Five ferrets.
239
00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:34,855
- Those are like long, furry rats, right?
- Yep.
240
00:16:35,023 --> 00:16:37,486
And they're all named Charlie.
241
00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:41,792
Of course they are.
242
00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:45,596
Well, as much as I would
love to meet...
243
00:16:45,774 --> 00:16:48,950
...Charlie and Charlie
and Charlie and Charlie...
244
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,702
- And Charlie.
- Right.
245
00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:56,724
I can't help but wonder, is it worth
putting our friendship at risk?
246
00:16:57,361 --> 00:17:01,323
Well, that's a good question.
Let's think about it for a minute.
247
00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:07,099
How good are you in bed?
Because I'm excellent.
248
00:17:08,531 --> 00:17:13,587
Truthfully, I'm more of
an advanced intermediate.
249
00:17:14,931 --> 00:17:18,227
- Then let's stay friends.
- Yeah, good idea.
250
00:17:19,198 --> 00:17:21,994
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
251
00:17:22,168 --> 00:17:26,047
What, specifically, turned you off
to the idea of a physical liaison?
252
00:17:26,435 --> 00:17:30,945
Was it the psychosexual fraternal rivalry,
symbolized by the Charlie surrogates?
253
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,250
Or the prospect
of being judged inadequate...
254
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:36,515
...by a woman who professes to have
superior sexual skills?
255
00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:40,313
Wait a minute. Have you been doing
that behavioral psychology thing on me?
256
00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:42,620
No, don't be silly.
257
00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:48,729
But if I said yes, would that
make you feel A, angry, or B, insecure?
258
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:13,180
I thought you were gonna
write the report for me.
259
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,691
No, Jake. That would be wrong.
260
00:19:15,869 --> 00:19:18,415
The only way to learn
is to do the work yourself.
261
00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:23,177
Now, these are called Cliff Notes.
262
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,993
Inside is everything you need to know
about Lord of the Flies.
263
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,250
The themes, the characters,
the symbolism.
264
00:19:30,427 --> 00:19:33,390
It's a book report waiting for you
to put your name on it.
265
00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:37,658
Is that legal?
266
00:19:37,831 --> 00:19:40,127
Look around.
Do you see any homework police?
267
00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:47,943
Oh, man. I give you
way too much credit.
268
00:19:52,263 --> 00:19:55,523
Oh, I meant to ask you,
how'd that book report turn out?
269
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:58,739
- I got a D-minus.
- D-minus?
270
00:19:59,124 --> 00:20:03,134
- Didn't you read the Cliff Notes?
- That was 50 pages.
271
00:20:04,395 --> 00:20:07,358
Unbelievable. Your kid's too lazy
to cheat.
272
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:10,537
Has it occurred to you that maybe
he's too honest to cheat?
273
00:20:11,172 --> 00:20:13,254
No, I'm lazy.
274
00:20:13,807 --> 00:20:17,353
- Oshikuru: Demon Samurai.
- Hey, it's on.
275
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:25,137
Oh, oh, oh, OshikuruOh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
276
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:30,368
My, oh, myHe's a demon samurai
277
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:34,336
Who 's the guy who had to die?Oshikuru
278
00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:38,143
That's not what we wrote.
That's your original, sucky version.
279
00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:41,243
What can I tell you?
The network liked that one better.
280
00:20:41,417 --> 00:20:46,771
- What, are they brain-damaged?
- Welcome to show business, kid.
281
00:20:48,988 --> 00:20:51,321
I still think it's snappy.
282
00:20:54,343 --> 00:20:56,508
Oshikuru
24625
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