Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,002
(DAVID READING)
2
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:07,591
(CRICKETS CHIRP)
3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,302
(DRIPPING)
4
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,522
JOHNNY: Moira!
MOIRA: Hmm.
5
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,148
JOHNNY: Moira!
6
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,694
Oh, no! I just finally
cried myself to sleep.
7
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,529
The bed's soaking wet.
8
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,155
Is it blood?
9
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,991
No! There's a leak
in the ceiling.
10
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,576
-There is a brown disgusting
drip coming.
-Oh!
11
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,162
Look at the...
Look at... Oh, my God.
12
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,874
-I can't do it. I tried!
-This place is a dump!
It's a dump.
13
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,208
You know what?
It's a hell hole.
14
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,960
I tried, John, but I can't!
15
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,170
-DAVID: Ah!
-Wake up.
16
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,881
-BOTH: Ah!
-Start packing.
17
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:50,384
The plumbing is shot to hell
in this place
and we are getting out.
18
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:51,677
We are getting out!
19
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,052
What are you wearing?
What is that? A nightgown?
20
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,556
It's a nightshirt, David.
And that's not the issue.
21
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,058
The issue is
the brown sludge in my bed.
22
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,434
We're selling the place!
23
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,853
DAVID: It's 6:00 a.m.!
24
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,897
What's the name of
the mouthy kid
at the front desk?
25
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,105
I don't know.
I'm trying very hard
26
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,566
not to connect with
people right now.
27
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,067
The mouth,
the mouth, the girl.
28
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:08,903
You might want to rethink
the nightgown first.
29
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:11,112
There's a whole
Ebenezer Scrooge
thing happening.
30
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,240
Oh, my God,
that's who I was
thinking of.
31
00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:15,034
You know what?
I'll do it myself.
32
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,244
-My best to Bob Cratchit.
-Okay.
33
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:26,837
(NOT DINGING)
34
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,803
Hello! Hello! Service?
35
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,057
This bell is broken.
36
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:41,977
Yeah, sorry. It's more or
less decorative.
37
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,146
There's a leak in my room.
38
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:48,316
Brown, disgusting sewage
water was dripping all over
39
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,693
my bed this morning.
40
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,613
I was soaking wet.
So I need a plumber.
41
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,156
You want me to
call a plumber?
42
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,993
Do I want you
to call a plumber?
43
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,245
Yes, yes, I do.
I want you call...
44
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,538
You should already be
on the phone.
45
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,957
Could you call a plumber?
46
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,875
I'll see if he's home.
47
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,502
Or conscious.
48
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,546
He's a good guy.
He's just a big drinker.
49
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,923
I also need
a real-estate agent.
50
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,926
The name of a
good real-estate agent
right away.
51
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,303
Oh, there's a guy named Ray.
52
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:23,477
Yeah. He's the best one.
He's also the
only one, so...
53
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,646
A guy named Ray...
54
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,817
Is there anything else
I can help you with,
Mr. Rose?
55
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,569
Uh, yes. My wife and I
will be taking breakfast
56
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:33,988
in our room this morning.
57
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,074
Eggs Florentine
and a yoghurt parfait.
58
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,283
Yeah.
59
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,868
Unfortunately, due to
a lack of everything,
60
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,703
we don't do room service.
61
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,580
Um, but you're always
welcome to help yourself to
62
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,374
our complimentary
espresso bar.
63
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,503
I'd rather
drink the pipe water.
64
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,170
I hear ya.
65
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,714
Ew.
66
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,510
Who even is this girl?
67
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,596
He said that he would
never date anyone
with a toe ring and yet...
68
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,973
(SHUSHING)
69
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,057
DAVID: Oh!
70
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,142
Rub my back.
71
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,643
What? No.
72
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,021
I rubbed your back
many a nights
when you were little.
73
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,106
Yeah, in exchange for
half my allowance.
74
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:12,191
Fine. You may select
one silver piece
75
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,402
from my accessory case.
Right here.
76
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,196
Oh, my God.
She has "hakuna matata"
tattooed on her foot.
77
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:20,034
Stavros was seeing
escorts before you.
78
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,702
A Disney tattoo
shouldn't be a surprise.
79
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,038
We said no social media
post breakup.
80
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,289
-We had a pact about that.
-He dates hookers.
81
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,710
Well, I'm sorry that
I don't hire my friends
at model castings.
82
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,920
Actually, now that
I think about it,
where are those friends?
83
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,755
They're just giving me
space right now.
84
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,090
-Because they're
considerate people.
-Oh, right.
85
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,424
-Space. Yeah.
-Okay.
86
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,385
Well, I think it's best
that he dumped you.
87
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:40,220
He didn't dump me.
88
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:43,015
We actually both decided
that it was best that
he see other people, so...
89
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:47,227
Children, mindless bickering
is a luxury
we may no longer afford.
90
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,396
You are blind to reality,
and for that,
91
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,606
I am most proud.
92
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,734
But our world's evil twin...
93
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,402
Okay, I'm taking my journal
into the bathroom.
94
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,072
-Has reared her ugly...
-DAVID: Where I will be
shutting the door.
95
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,532
David! You might actually
want to hear this.
96
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,078
(GROANS)
97
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,288
Oh, hi!
98
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,623
-JOHNNY: Are you Ray?
-Yes.
99
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,958
You're late.
100
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,668
Johnny Rose. My wife, Moira.
101
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,628
-Hello.
-Hi.
102
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,296
Oh, I love your complexion.
103
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,760
So, what can
I help you with?
104
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,596
Housing,
investment opportunities?
105
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:26,767
Mr. Rose and I would like
to put a "for sale" sign
on this incredible town.
106
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,061
We're willing to settle
for what we paid for it.
107
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,730
More if we can get it,
but definitely not less.
108
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:35,358
Well, I'm not
gonna lie to you.
I'm not super optimistic.
109
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,445
You know, because
the government saw
no value in Schitt's Creek.
110
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,697
You know, when they
repossessed your assets.
111
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,282
You know,
because of the
humiliating...
112
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,700
Yes, we know.
We know. We know.
113
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,452
Well, we'll do our best.
114
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,122
First, we just
have to get Roland
to sign off on the listing
115
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,999
and then we're good to go.
116
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:55,295
I need to confer with
the financial powerhouse
of the family.
117
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:59,299
Since when did the mayor
need to sign off on this?
118
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,510
Ray, since when did
the mayor need
sign off on this?
119
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,680
Well, it's all right here.
120
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,687
Son of a bitch!
121
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,314
(CART RATTLING)
122
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,610
Oh, excuse me.
123
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,821
I don't think my sheets
have been cleaned.
They smell like cigarettes.
124
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,489
No, that's just the way
they smell.
125
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,992
Also, you can tell your dad
that the plumber was busy.
126
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,829
So I just pushed the bed up
against the wall and put
a bucket where the bed was.
127
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,664
Okay. We're gonna be
selling this town.
128
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,415
So it's gonna be
someone else's problem soon.
129
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,168
But it's such a
great place to live.
130
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,087
I think you're funny.
131
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:38,880
Thank you.
132
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,507
(CHUCKLES) Um...
133
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,551
Look, I know this probably
isn't your thing,
134
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,680
but there's a
tailgate party later.
135
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,557
It's not exactly clubbing,
but, you know, close.
136
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,851
I don't know what
"tailgate" means.
137
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,770
In my mind, I'm picturing
like a Klan rally.
138
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,606
Yeah, just fewer
pointy hats.
139
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,318
Just townies with
un-ironic haircuts.
140
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,195
Okay. I'm gonna pass.
141
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,113
I'm not really in the mood
to be a victim of
a hate crime tonight, so...
142
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,199
(MOUTHING) Okay.
143
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,117
Stavros just posted
three more photos.
144
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,577
Who are these jenky women?
145
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,039
From the looks of it,
they're blonde
and mostly naked, so...
146
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,957
(ALEXIS GROANS)
147
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:17,669
Is there a bar in this place
or are we in one of those
religio-cult towns?
148
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,838
I was just telling
your brother
about a party tonight.
149
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,548
But he passed, so...
150
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,801
Um, yes.
Love that journey for me.
151
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,221
Okay. So I'm
looking for a guy
152
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,431
like a mechanic
or someone that
hammers stuff.
153
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,060
Um, at least 5'7".
154
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,730
Kind of like full lips.
Athletic body.
155
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,397
Maybe a neck tattoo
would be cute.
156
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,775
No, it wouldn't.
157
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,278
You know, I think
this could be
really good for me.
158
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,197
So thank you.
159
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,865
You're welcome.
160
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,243
Yeah. I'm looking forward
to it.
161
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,827
Having all that fun.
162
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,582
(SNIFFS) Wow.
163
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,756
So Johnny Rose wants
the ol' Johnny Hancock?
164
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,424
-Well... (CHUCKLES)
-Shouldn't be
a problem, Johnny.
165
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,426
I'm happy to sign off
on the listing, okay?
166
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,346
Well, thank you very much,
Roland. Appreciate it.
167
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,348
Sure. Why don't you
come over tonight
and pick it up?
168
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,017
Uh, no. Mr. Mayor, I...
169
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,103
No, no. Roland,
a signature,
that's all I need.
170
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,562
Johnny, look, here is
what you're gonna do.
171
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,314
You're gonna grab the kids,
you're gonna grab Moira,
172
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,941
you're gonna come over,
173
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,402
we're gonna sit down
like civilized people,
have a few laughs,
174
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,780
and then at the end
of the evening we'll get to
the big signing, okay?
175
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,698
Right. Okay.
Honestly, Roland,
it's just a...
176
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,451
It's just a signature.
A flick of the wrist.
That's it.
177
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,162
You're not rejecting
my hospitality,
are you, Johnny?
178
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,789
Because that really wouldn't
be a good way
179
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,540
to start things off,
I don't think.
180
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:42,003
No, no. I'm not...
I'd love to come to dinner.
Are you kidding me?
181
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,713
No. I just thought,
let's do business first,
182
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,007
get the signature,
and then dinner.
183
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:49,636
Johnny, you want that.
To get that you need this.
184
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:51,430
So let's just do this
my way.
185
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,308
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Yeah, dinner it is.
186
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:58,061
Yes, dinner it is, attaboy.
Okay.
187
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:03,233
MOIRA: How did you not get
the contract signed, John?
188
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:07,154
Can one thing,
just one thing,
not be easy in this town?
189
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:10,115
Look, Roland's
playing games, honey.
He's playing games.
190
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,242
So this is something
we have to do.
191
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,828
Okay. Well,
I would love to go,
192
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,330
but I've actually
double-booked myself.
193
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:20,083
I'm going to a truck party
with the front desk girl
194
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,377
and obviously she'd be
super devastated
195
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:25,964
if I bailed last minute.
So I can't. I can't go.
196
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,883
Okay. Well, cancel it
because you're coming
to dinner.
197
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,968
No.
198
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,511
One of you kids has to come.
199
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,305
David, you've got
nothing on tonight.
200
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,473
How do you know that?
201
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,308
What do you have on tonight?
202
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,310
-What?
-Good, it's settled.
203
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,853
Or you could go alone, John.
204
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,481
Since you are the one
who did not get
the contract signed.
205
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:47,194
Moira, Roland wants
the family there tonight.
206
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,154
So my family
has to go tonight.
207
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,864
Let me explain something
about business.
208
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,533
-Don't you dare...
-It's a dance.
209
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:56,203
And sometimes you lead.
And sometimes you follow.
210
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,038
And which are you
doing now, John?
211
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,415
I am leading, Moira.
212
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,293
In a Roland game,
I think you're following.
213
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:09,549
Following in the game
but leading
in the dance, right?
214
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,801
And he thinks
he's leading in the dance,
215
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:15,889
but only because
I've allowed him to think...
216
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,224
Are you listening to this?
217
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,267
-Hmm?
-It doesn't matter.
I'm leading.
218
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,562
I shall bathe.
219
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:26,607
And if I bang my head
and slip beneath
the surface,
220
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,735
so be it, Mr. Rose.
221
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,987
(DRIPPING)
222
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,613
What's this?
223
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:37,577
Yeah, Stevie called.
Apparently the plumber's
in rehab.
224
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,205
Um, and you also...
You have something
on your...
225
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,998
I don't know what that is,
but it's a thing.
226
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,250
ALEXIS: David, for the
gate party tonight,
227
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,959
is it more of
a leather pants...
228
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,961
Son of a bitch!
229
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,466
JOHNNY: Thanks for
having us, Jocelyn.
Thank you.
230
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,677
Make yourselves at home.
Roland's just on the toilet.
231
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,138
Oh, what a surprise.
232
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:02,269
You have a really lovely
home. It's really
understated.
233
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:06,147
Thank you.
I get a lot of my ideas
from magazines.
234
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,357
MOIRA: Don't be modest.
235
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:11,611
This is 100%
you and only you.
236
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:16,616
Hey, okay. It's the Roses.
(CHUCKLES)
237
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,285
Come on, folks, please sit.
238
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,454
Come on,
I'm just the mayor,
for crying out loud.
239
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,499
Ooh, hors d'oeuvres.
240
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,793
That's too bad about Alexis.
241
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,921
Well, it is.
But we did bring
the life of the party.
242
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,672
Our David.
243
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:35,051
Well, I guess that just
means there's more for
you and me, right, Dave?
244
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,804
I hope everybody
likes a cheeseball.
245
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,307
-Cheeseball? (CHUCKLES)
-MOIRA: Ooh!
246
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,809
It's the treat that keeps
our love life percolating.
247
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,978
It's like an
aphrodisiac with him.
248
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,563
Go ahead.
249
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:49,649
Oh, yes, can't wait.
Can't wait. Mmm.
250
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,944
JOCELYN: So, David,
tell us about yourself.
251
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,072
-I hear you're a gallerist.
-Oh. Wow!
252
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,657
There's a 10-dollar
word for you.
253
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,159
David owned
a brilliant gallery.
254
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,494
Tell them about
your last show.
255
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:02,203
-It's not... It's not...
-You must, please.
256
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,663
Tell them, David, tell them.
257
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,333
The gallery worked with
Janet Kempfluugen.
258
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,502
Kempfluugen?
259
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,630
She's a Brooklyn-based
performance artist.
She's a big deal.
260
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:17,676
Anyway, she would
walk into the space wearing
a clay mask of a fawn,
261
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:22,015
remove her clothing
and breastfeed
members of the audience.
262
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:25,143
It was a commentary
on income inequality.
263
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,524
-Wow.
-Heady stuff.
264
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:31,774
Yeah. Hmm...
265
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,237
Lip gloss?
266
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,696
STEVIE: No, thank you.
267
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,158
I wish I could pull off
the whole gluey,
no makeup look.
268
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,202
It's so French.
269
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,286
Thank you.
270
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,871
So, why are you single?
271
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,289
Who said I'm single?
272
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,542
Girl, we are on the hunt.
I hope you are single.
273
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,709
Oh, no, no.
I'm not "on the hunt."
274
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,295
A town this size,
275
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,130
you've either been through
'em or know way too much
about 'em.
276
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:58,301
Okay. I'm gonna go do a lap
and this swan is best
when she flies solo.
277
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,011
So you're gonna be okay?
278
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,179
-I live here.
-Okay, okay.
279
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,181
-Am I good? Yes? Okay.
-Mmm-hmm.
280
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,141
-Thank you.
-You're not cold?
281
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,312
Chuck, beer!
282
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,605
(ROLAND GRUNTS)
283
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,568
I know it's gotta be
in here somewhere.
284
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,570
Slippery little bastard.
285
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:19,030
Maybe a fork would help,
Roland?
286
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,616
That's sweet. Thank you.
I'm okay. I'll find it.
287
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,204
So is that the
contract over there?
288
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,747
Yeah, it is. You know,
I gotta be honest with you.
289
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:32,210
I tried reading that thing.
It is really boring.
290
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,004
Ah, got it!
There she is! Okay.
291
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:38,925
Oh!
292
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,886
Oh, my God, honey.
Oh, that is good.
293
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,762
That is good.
294
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,433
I believe
you were saying, John...
295
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:50,144
Yes. This reminds me
of a merger
I put together in Zurich.
296
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,480
It was two families
breaking bread together,
and we...
297
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,648
(GRUNTING)
298
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,192
-Very, very...
-My head. My head hurts.
299
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,569
No! Are you okay?
300
00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,029
I think it's the migraines
that I get a lot.
301
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,741
Oh, I think that'll pass,
David.
302
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:05,452
I don't think it's gonna
pass. I don't think
it's passing.
303
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,953
Migraines can be so awful.
304
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,080
Yeah, well, not this one.
Not this one.
305
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,874
Yeah, you know what?
I think I need to go.
306
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,086
I think you need to
eat something
and that will help.
307
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,713
No, I think I
need to go back.
308
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:17,964
(WHISPERING)
Take me with you, please.
309
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,299
David, sit down.
Sit down. Sit back down.
310
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,425
DAVID: Jocelyn, thank you
so much for dinner.
311
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,135
Why don't you lie down
on our mattress?
312
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,137
The sheets are in the dryer,
but there is rubber pad.
313
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,472
No. Thanks.
314
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,390
-David! Don't go
near the door.
-DAVID: Thank you.
315
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,310
-David! Do not
open that door.
-(DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING)
316
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,066
I brought vodka
as a house gift.
317
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,817
I don't see it.
318
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,320
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
319
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,529
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
320
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,287
(ENGINE ROARING)
321
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,917
ALEXIS: That's what I say.
(CHUCKLES)
322
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,753
Crazy.
323
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,511
I'm Twyla.
324
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,555
From the cafe. Yeah.
325
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,016
Yeah. David Rose.
326
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,643
I'm a little drunk.
327
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:12,851
Mmm-hmm.
328
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,646
-Hey.
-Hey, Stevie.
329
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,776
I am going to roast myself
a marshmallow.
330
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,902
-Anybody?
-No. Thanks.
331
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,279
-You're all good?
-No.
332
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,656
-STEVIE: No, thanks.
-Great.
333
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,909
I don't know why you were
so reluctant to
show up here.
334
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,412
You fit right in.
335
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,080
Well, my sister
texted me "help."
336
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,874
And my mind went
straight to Deliverance.
337
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,626
So I wasn't too far off.
338
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,879
That's funny, because
your sister texted me
from across the bonfire
339
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,881
and said you'd probably
show up here
340
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,925
because you were
bored and lonely and had
nothing better to do.
341
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,011
Well, my sister is
a broken shell
of a human being.
342
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,888
That's where that's
coming from, so...
343
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,057
Oh, okay.
344
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,685
Oh. Well, she seems fine.
345
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:57,146
Are you serious?
That's so funny.
That's so funny.
346
00:14:57,188 --> 00:15:00,274
So I guess
you're free to go.
347
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:08,115
I'm gonna need a stiff drink
to get through this. Stiff.
348
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:18,585
So, Jocelyn,
you were saying that
you teach high school,
349
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,378
or you want to
finish high school?
350
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,547
I'm not sure.
I couldn't hear over your
husband's chewing.
351
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,966
I teach high school.
352
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,719
Oh, you're a saint.
353
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:31,514
I love it.
I love connecting
with the young people.
354
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,767
Although I know
those boys are undressing me
355
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,769
every time I drop
a piece of chalk.
356
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,312
Yeah. Well, maybe we should
hold onto our chalk. Hmm?
357
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,147
They're boys. It's cute.
358
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,858
John...
359
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,610
Oh. Ah-ha!
360
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:47,781
There it is! There it is!
The Vivien Blake bitch face!
361
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,116
-Excuse me?
-I didn't want to
say anything,
362
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:53,453
but you were
my favorite character
on Sunrise Bay.
363
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,456
-Thanks.
-JOCELYN: It's true.
364
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,375
He lived for Sunrise Bay.
365
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:03,463
I could be doing
cartwheels in a thong
in front of that television,
366
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,839
which I have done,
367
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:08,301
but if your show was on,
I was as good as wallpaper.
368
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,637
Hey, how many people
did you slap
on that show?
369
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,179
I don't care.
370
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,641
She can't remember.
There were so many slaps.
(CHUCKLES)
371
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:20,146
Enough about me.
Let's talk about
you signing this contract.
372
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:23,399
Well, somebody is in a
little hurry, isn't she?
373
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,151
No, no.
We're not in a hurry. No.
374
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:28,738
-Aren't we? Really?
-No. We're not. No.
375
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,198
(CHUCKLES)
There it is again! Bam!
376
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,160
-Okay,
I'll tell you what, Vivien.
-Moira.
377
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,996
-I will go ahead
and sign off on the sale...
-Moira.
378
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,164
Good.
379
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,540
For a slap.
380
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,838
Excuse me?
381
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,465
I've always wanted to be
slapped by Vivien Blake.
382
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,510
It's true.
We've role-played it
like a thousand times.
383
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,428
-Mmm-hmm.
-But it is not the
real thing.
384
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,765
-You'd like me to slap you?
-Yeah.
385
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,016
I don't think that I...
386
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,893
-Well, don't think.
Just do it.
-Slap me.
387
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,770
-I won't.
-Slap him, Moira.
388
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,229
Go ahead and slap him.
389
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,481
-Slap him.
Slap my husband, Moira.
-ROLAND: Just slap me.
390
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,899
John, I won't!
391
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,108
-Slap him or I'll slap him.
-JOCELYN: Slap him, Moira!
392
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,401
-Slap me!
-I won't.
393
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,029
-Slap me like a bitch!
-Sign the fucking contract!
394
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,614
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
395
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:19,747
(ALEXIS LAUGHING)
396
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,582
Okay.
397
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,418
Um, this has
been a lot of fun,
398
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,505
but I'm starting to
smell a little too much
like campfire
399
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:32,510
and denim and plaid
and stuff, so... Bye.
400
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,554
STEVIE: Your choices are
beer or beer.
401
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,891
I assume a pint glass
is out of the question?
402
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,976
You came! How was dinner?
403
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,394
Ah, worse than this.
404
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,145
Although, at this point,
it's sort of a
moving target.
405
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,397
Here, hold this.
406
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,024
So there are no guys
for me here.
407
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,359
But it was kind of
nice to just, like,
flex the old muscle.
408
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,819
Put your thumb
over the tube.
409
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,656
I kind of wanna
just go for it but...
410
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,784
-Sometimes it
doesn't work out, I guess.
-Yeah.
411
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,579
-Okay, now put the tube
in your mouth.
-What?
412
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,581
-Yeah. And just
open your throat.
-DAVID: Oh.
413
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,541
And go down,
'cause you're tall.
414
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,501
David, how long are you
gonna be doing this?
415
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:09,380
Yeah. Okay, just come get me
after you vomit, okay?
416
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,507
STEVIE: Just open
your throat!
417
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,636
You!
418
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,850
STEVIE: Chug! Chug! Chug!
419
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,685
CROWD: Chug! Chug! Chug!
420
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,743
Are you ready? Can we move?
421
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:40,995
(ALL CHEERING)
422
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,038
Yeah.
423
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,170
(ROLAND HUMMING)
424
00:18:57,011 --> 00:19:01,891
And that's the
last one there! Done!
425
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,144
All-righty.
426
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,772
There you go,
Johnny, congratulations.
427
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,441
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
428
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,526
Just remember one
thing, okay?
429
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:16,363
This is my town
and you're gonna
play by my rules.
430
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,616
Comprende?
431
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,078
(LAUGHING)
432
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,831
I'm just
messing with you, man!
Come on!
433
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,916
(SARCASTIC CHUCKLE) Well...
434
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,001
Or am I?
435
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,588
No. I am.
436
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,215
-Moira! Shall we?
-Yeah.
437
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,677
Jocelyn, thank you
for an unforgettable
evening,
438
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,929
I will be dining out
on this for years.
439
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,180
JOCELYN:
I'll send you the recipes.
440
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,892
Yes, Jocelyn,
words can't express.
441
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:48,062
ROLAND: Seriously, Johnny,
good luck selling the town.
442
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,563
You're sure gonna need it.
443
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,109
-Why's that?
-Well, it took a while
to sell the first time.
444
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:56,445
I mean, it was on the market
for, like, what, 20 years
445
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:57,571
before you bought it.
446
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,116
Twenty years?
447
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,118
Yeah. I mean, most people
just thought
it was a waste of money,
448
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,536
that it would never sell,
you know?
449
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:06,539
Who in their right mind
would buy it? (CHUCKLES)
450
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,332
Then along come you.
(CLICKING TONGUE)
451
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,752
(INHALES DEEPLY)
452
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:17,050
MOIRA: John, did you know
453
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,469
this town was on the market
for 20 years
before we bought it?
454
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:21,721
How would I know that?
455
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,807
Why would I know that?
I didn't know that.
456
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,560
But look, let's look at
the bright side.
457
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:31,064
There is no bright side.
This is the dark side
of the moon, Johnny.
458
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,982
And we'll be here
another 20 years,
459
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,651
tucked in a crater,
lost to all.
460
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:38,571
Well, you know what?
I think that's being
a little dramatic.
461
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,865
Yes! It's dramatic!
462
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:45,078
Sweetheart! We got
the thing signed, okay?
463
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,914
And if we have to
fix this town up
before we sell it,
464
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,248
then we fix it up.
465
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,042
We fix it up, bit by bit.
466
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,752
And it's gonna
take hard work.
467
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,921
But we can do it
because we're Roses.
468
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,590
And there's nothing
we can't do
if we put our minds...
469
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,466
Hi, hi, hi. You guys are
being super loud right now.
470
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,052
I can hear you
through the headphones.
471
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,138
So if you can just
wrap it up in here...
472
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,100
-Ten to a five. Thanks.
-Night, night.
473
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,060
(DOOR CLOSING)
474
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:12,271
I feel good about this.
I really do.
475
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,522
(DRIPPING)
33717
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof