Original subtitles

* Sometimes the world looks perfect

* Sometimes you just get a feeling

* Like you need some kinda change

* No matter what the odds are this time

* Nothing's gonna stand in my way

* This flame in my heart like a long lost friend

* Gives every dark street a light at the end

* Standing tall

* On the wings of my dream

* Rise and fall

* On the wings of my dream

* The rain and thunder

* The wind and haze

* I'm bound for better days

* And nothing's gonna stop me now *

All right, Harriette, after last night's thrilling, come from behind victory,

your season bowling average is now...

135.

I'm hot. I'm totally hot.

Oh, how am I doing, Larry?

All right, your average has climbed to...

79.

79!

And I haven't even peaked yet.

All right, and Calvin still has the league-leading bowling average of...

195.

All right, now.

Nothing's gonna stop us.

ALL: Win!

We are going to...

ALL: Win! Win! Win!

Win! Win! Win!

This is fun!

What are we doing?

We are psyching up.

For the big bowling championship.

Are you gonna come and watch us play?

Well, of course, I am. Don't be ridiculous.

When is it? Tomorrow night.

Oh, Wednesday is bad for me. I have a doctor's appointment.

Can we do it Tuesday?

Balki, this is the championship, not a dinner date.

Oh, yeah. Me too. All right, all right.

Keep it warm. Yes! Yes!

I can't wait to see Gorpley when they hand me that trophy.

He's been rubbing my face in it for a year.

Rubbing your face with the trophy?

Cousin, that could damage your pores.

All right!

See, I left two standings now you...

So, this is an American bowling alley.

It don't look like any alley I've ever seen.

Listen to me, I really need to get a lot of practice in tonight.

So, please, just sit down and don't touch anything.

Cousin, I don't suppose you will like to teach me how to bowl.

No. No. Cousin...

Absolutely not, no, no.

I have to concentrate.

Oh, hi, guys. Oh, no, no.

Not now, Balki.

When I bowl. When... Oh, oh.

Yeah, where is Calvin?

Oh. Hi, guys.

Hi, Mr. Gorpley.

What bad luck?

Oh, I guess, you haven't heard.

Gee, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

What bad news?

Well, it seems that Calvin's boss

sent him to a seminar in Topeka for two weeks.

I guess he's gonna miss the match.

Wait a minute, Mr. Gorpley.

Aren't you Calvin's boss?

Oh, so I am.

Oh, trust me, Appleton. It's not even close.

I don't believe that guy.

He did it again.

and now this.

Well, I'm too angry to practice.

I'm gonna go home and burn dinner.

I gotta go shopping.

The only thing that gets me out of the depression is buying on credit.

Oh, cousin, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

If I have to, I'll pick up the slack myself.

Well, cousin, if you have time to go pick up your slacks,

you have time to teach me how to bowl.

No. Absolutely not. Come on...

Cousin...

I want to bowl.

Okay, fine. Get a ball. Let's get this over with.

Oh, this one's no good. It's got holes in it.

Balki, Balki...

The holes are what you put your fingers in.

Yes. Well, I'll be snookered!

Yeah.

You know, they love to get in there.

Balki, Balki, Balki.

Watch me.

All right, now.

You stand here. Uh-huh.

All right?

Get relaxed and comfortable, okay.

Yeah. Bring the ball up to eye level...

Line up your shot.

And then when I'm... Bad place to stand.

Bad place to stand.

All right, then, when everything comes together...

You start your stride.

Cousin, you know what?

This is just like nok-nok-roll-a-rock.

Nok Exactly.

It's the Myposian game the whole family can play.

First, you take a rock...

Oh, but listen to me! Listen to me.

Just take a rock. You don't just take a rock.

Part of the skill...

Is picking just, just the right rock.

Uh, you have to feel...

At one, with your rock.

And you get it... Balki.

But in America, where we've already gone through the industrial revolution...

Sports are a bit more sophisticated.

It takes years to become a good bowler.

Well, then let's get started!

All right, get a ball. Get a ball.

How am I doing so far?

You seem to have mastered that part.

Well, I should say so.

Well, maybe not.

Ahhh! There we go.

There we go.

Why don't you try this one?

Better? Yeah.

Better? Oh, yeah.

Okay, yeah. You got it?

Yeah. Yeah. You got it?

Oh!

Remember, what I told you, get relaxed and comfortable.

Just relaxed and comfortable.

Oh!

Get up.

Get up. Get up. Get up!

All right, now...

I can't see a thing.

Lower the ball.

There it is.

All right, now...

Start your stride.

No, no, no.

Yes.

All right, start your stride, okay?

Step on the right foot,

the first step of a four-step delivery. Step on the left.

As you step on the right, swing the ball back

step left, swing forward and release.

Cousin, I don't think it's gonna make it.

That's enough for today. Shall I... Shall I give it a little kick?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Cousin, can I... Look, look.

Can I just, can I just try one thing?

I, I want, can I just try it my way?

Can I just try it my way?

Balki, if you wanna use some of your Stone Age techniques...

Go right ahead.

Thank you. I will.

Now first... I have to find a ball that I'm at one with.

Oh!

Nok, nok, nok, nok, nok.

LYDIA: Are you telling me that Balki is a great bowler?

Yeah, I couldn't believe it.

He bowled a 285 on his first game.

285?

285. In one game?

That's a month's worth of bowling for you.

Hi. Oh, hi.

Hi, hi, hi, hi.

Larry, we miss anything? No, no.

Well, he should be here any minute.

I saved you these seats.

Oh, great. Thanks. Thanks.

Appleton, let's get this show on the road.

All right, keep your shirt on. Not all of our team is here yet.

Oh, who did you get to replace Calvin?

One of the babes from the typing pool?

Bartokomous?

Excuse me, uh, I have to go get ready for our victory party.

You won't be laughing so much

when Balki gets here.

Oh! Am I late? Am I in the bowling alley?

Balki. Cousin?

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Balki, what's the matter with you?

Harriette? Right here, baby.

The eye doctor put-put drops in my eyes

and I can't see a thing.

Balki, you didn't tell me you were going to the eye doctor.

Well, I didn't think it was important.

I was wrong.

I can't do it.

I can't think of everything he doesn't know.

Come on, cousin. I can bowl.

The doctor said that they would clear up in just a few hours.

And all I need to do is just take a little practice shot.

Uh, okay? All right.

Okay. Okay.

Come on, Appleton. Enough stalling.

Let's get started.

He's, he's gotta take a few practice frames.

Okay.

All right. Here we go, here we go.

Now, can you see the pins? No.

Can you see the pins? No.

Okay, go.

Nok, nok, nok, nok, nok.

Good luck, Balki. Thanks, Mary Anne.

Balki, concentrate.

Balki, Balki, hold it, hold it.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Hold it, hold it.

Yay! Yay! Ha!

Yes!

Appleton, give up.

The Mypiot needs a strike and a spare to win this thing.

Face it. That trophy is mine.

Not so fast, Gorpley.

It ain't over till it's over.

It's over.

Cousin, I'm starting to see a little better.

Balki. Balki. Balki.

Cousin, I think I can do this. You do?

Yeah, I have a feeling about it.

The same feeling I had at the '81 Roll-a-Rock Fall Classic.

We were down to our last rock and there were still six gourds standing

and everybody said this is impossible,

but I knew if I dug deep,

deep down inside myself,

I could knock the goodies out of those gourds.

And did you? Well, no.

Oh, God!

But it was a good feeling anyway. A real good one.

Okay, cousin, I'm ready.

Just lead me to those balls.

Come on, come on. Come on, Balki, come on.

All right, I've lined you up.

Now, just follow your nose.

Nok, nok, nok, nok, nok.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

All right, all right. Now, now, all right.

Okay.

All we need is a spare, and the championship is ours.

All right. Wait here.

You know what to do. Yeah.

Nok, nok, nok, nok... Come on, baby.

Let's go, Balki! Come on.

LARRY: Yes, yes!

Oh, no. No!

ALL: Yes, yes!

Cousin, you're frowning.

Well, that's great. No, no, it's a 7-10 split.

It's the hardest split in bowling to pick up.

Oh, come on, cousin, one time in, in Nok Nok Roll-a-Rock I had a deadly 58-37 split.

And you made it? Well, no.

Oh, God.

Nobody makes that.

Why do you tell me these stories?

It's just a way of dealing with anxiety.

All right, come here. Come on, come on, come on.

All right.

Come on. Knock it out of the park.

Now remember, this is only a game.

It's the most important game of my life.

But it's only a game.

Not too much pressure.

Nok, nok, nok, nok, nok.

I can't wait to take it to work tomorrow and rub Gorpley's face in it.

Cousin, isn't that what Mr. Gorpley used to do to you?

And you hated it when he did it, didn't you?

I sure did, and now he's gonna see what it feels like.

This trophy is supposed to represent your accomplishments, not somebody else's misfortune.

You're gonna take all the fun out of winning this, aren't you?

You're just gonna suck all the fun right out of it.

Okay, cousin, cousin, cousin, look.

Listen to me. You're missing the point.

The point of this trophy, this trophy says

that your team was better than Mr. Gorpley's.

And not rubbing his face on it means

that you're a better winner than he is.

Oh, you know he does.

Can I just call him up to make sure?

No.

How about a nasty note on his office door?

BOTH: No, no, no. No, no, no.

How about if I just drive by his house and yell, "Loser, loser?"

'Cause I need something, I need something

to call my own, a little something to hang on to.