Original subtitles

Six minutes.

That's how long they reckon my heart stopped for.

You know, they talk about a white light...

life flashing before your eyes.

Well, I didn't get any of that shit.

The only reason I'm alive

is because that shop owner down the road

had one of those heart-zapper machine things,

and... bzzt... zaps me back to life.

He told the cops that the car that hit me,

it just drove off.

It was a silver Toyota Corolla.

He didn't get the number plate.

Come on, hey.

I'm Dutch Nordstrom,

ex-professional tennis player and entrepreneur,

and I have a new program for you.

See, in my long career, I've beaten

some of the best players in the world.

You know how I did that?

This.

If you don't win the mental game,

you do not win the game,

and that's why I've developed my new program...

Knife Fight Tennis.

I've designed Knife Fight Tennis

for pros, semi-pros, amateurs with something to prove.

But in this program, I'm not gonna teach you

how to backhand or to use spin.

I'm gonna teach you the art

of the backhanded compliment,

of how to spin the facts in your favor to win...

Knife Fight Tennis.

How to pick up little details from your opponent's childhood

that you can drop into conversation like,

"Hey, Danny, that's a great serve

for someone that wet the bed till they were 15."

So, they get my heart going again,

but my leg is smashed in four places.

I mean, that's the end of me and tennis. Done.

Everything that came before feels like a kind of dream.

♪ She's got a cold heart, baby... ♪

Everything that came after feels like a sick joke.

Hey, I've gotta get to work, but don't you think

we should just have a chat about that email?

I didn't get an email.

Okay, well, if you'd read the email, it would have

moved this conversation on about Tony a lot faster.

Who's Tony?

Tony is a colleague at work with whom I've been having sex.

What the hell, Emily? How many times?

I've been trying to engage with you

on this issue for a while now,

but honestly, it's been a challenge.

So, I figured this was just an easier way

to bring you up to speed with where things are at with us.

There's a bullet-point list here.

Yeah, yeah, just to highlight the areas

of our relationship that aren't currently meeting expectations.

Our sex life, like...

What's wrong with our sex life?

Did you like the dinner?

What?

The bolognese.

Can we concentrate?

Uh...

I added Marmite. That's the secret.

That's why it's so delicious.

Dutch, I don't wanna talk about fucking dinner, okay?

I'm concentrating.

Just stop. Just wait.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you like that?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

That's good.

You love it, don't you? Yeah.

It brings out the umami.

What!?

Well, you see,

this says that I'm angry all the time.

I'm not angry all the time.

The other day, you went on a 40-minute rant

about how much you hate unicyclists.

I don't have a problem with unicyclists,

as long as they're at the circus.

But when you see a guy riding a unicycle

to work in the bike lane,

oh, come on, mate.

Like, that's how you wanna get to work.

You wanna get on your unicycle

and just toddle off, toddle off to work.

It takes twice as long. And all you're doing is saying,

"Hey, look, I have balance."

Oh, why don't you fucking juggle?

Why don't you start juggling on the way?

"Oh, I need to juggle, because I need to

work out my arms on my way to work because this is how..."

Emily...

I was hit by a car.

Be that as it may, I just don't see

how we can effectively move forward,

given the current state of affairs.

What current state of affairs?

You're not the same man I married.

Okay, fine, fine. You go.

But everyone is gonna say that you left me

because I have a limp.

Be that as it may.

And... and they're gonna say that you're a terrible person,

and they'll be right!

Because you are! You are a terrible person!

Emily's not a terrible person.

It's not her fault.

She didn't sign up for any of this.

And it's not my fault. What did I do?

I was just walking down the street,

minding my own business.

You know who I do blame, though?

I blame the guy who hit me with his car

and left me there for dead.

Yeah, I blame him for all of it.

So, where are the cops at with everything?

Do you know how many silver Toyota Corollas

there are in this town?

A holy fuck-ton, that's how many.

The cops threw in the towel after looking at about 500.

So, this guy just basically got away with it all.

Oh, yeah, I lost my job,

I lost my house, I lost my wife.

He's just out there right now,

living his life, happy as Larry.

He's probably laughing at me right now.

Probably not even thinking about you, bro.

Yeah, well, he fucking should be!

I think about him all the time,

every time my hip aches.

A pool. Wow. Me casa is your casa, big bro.

You can stay in that caravan as long as you need,

because the way I see it,

this is our chance to follow our dreams.

See, my dream is to build my business

into a multinational, motherfucking,

vertically integrated, blockchain-boosted beast.

Are you dealing drugs again?

You went to jail for that already, Oates.

Home detention is not jail.

Anyway, this is a whole different ball of wax.

I only accept Bitcoin now.

It's untraceable. You want to get in

on the ground floor on this bad boy.

I don't want to deal drugs with you, Oates.

Okay, but you've got to remember

that you only get one go-around.

See, you always gotta be thinking about number one.

You've gotta think, hey, what do I want?

What do I want?

What do I want, bro?

What do you want?

Revenge.

Revenge is cool.

On who?

Who do you think?

On the prick that did this to me.

But if the cops can't find him,

then how the hell are you going to find him?

No idea.

Hey...

have you seen a silver Toyota Corolla around here?

No.

Right-oh.

Hey, I'm looking for a, uh...

silver Toyota Corolla.

You wanna buy one?

Bro, that's a really common car.

Of course, I've seen a silver Toyota Corolla.

There's hundreds of them.

Well, there's no need to be...

I've seen one around those things sometimes.

Don't talk to my kids.

Toyota Corolla?

Yes. Have you seen one around here recently?

That's a very reliable car.

It is a reliable car, yes.

Can't help you.

Okay.

Hello?

I know what you search for, Dutch.

Oh, yeah?

Where is it, then?

Go to the Lyndale Athletic Hall.

There you will find what you are seeking.

Is this some sort of scam?

Go now.

I will meet you there soon.

Yo.

Here to see the unseen.

Hey!

Oh, we've booked the hall for volleyball.

We have this booked every Tuesday and Thursday.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Just look on the website...

That's a scam, bro.

She's trying to steal your money obviously.

You know, she probably found your name from the internet.

You know, from your tennis videos.

But I don't have any money.

Oh, look, you're naive about this sort of shit.

People are running scams all the time.

That's basically how the economy works these days.

Yeah, but if I could become psychic, then I could

just, like, sense the car, you know, and then just...

Bam, just find the guy.

Come on, bro.

You're more smarter than this, Dutch.

We're related to Stephen Hawking, for fuck's sake.

He's like a second cousin, thrice removed.

Yeah, but he's on the family tree.

So, that means we are related to...

Well, no, I'm related to him.

You're adopted.

No. Fuck you, bro.

Come on, man.

You've known that since you were eight.

Yeah, you mean the age you told me?

Well, I had to.

Mum and Dad weren't gonna say anything.

I would've been fine with that, Dutch.

Did that ever occur to you?

Yeah, it occurred to me, but I was kind of like...

Shut up.

Stephen Hawking.

Are you the one who seeks psionic power?

Who are you?

My name's Lyra.

Well, I just about shat an organ, Lyra.

It's middle of the fucking night.

May I enter?

I will now ask you questions

to see if you're suitable for the protocol.

Remember that I am psychic

and I already know the answers to all of them.

Okay, then.

How tall are you?

Um... almost six foot.

Almost?

Yeah. Well... 5'11", if you want exactly.

Why did you not just say your actual height?

Because it's easier to round up.

What do you see in this picture?

A... cute little bunny rabbit.

How about this one?

Robot, laser eyes.

How many sheep in this picture?

Uh...

How often do you masturbate?

It was seven, wasn't it?

"Daily masturbator."

No, not daily masturbator.

During your daily masturbation sessions,

do you fantasize about anything involving whips,

snakes, ropes, spaghetti?

No, especially not spaghetti. That's disgusting.

"Aversion to spaghetti."

Hey, I don't have an aversion to spaghetti.

I just don't think that it's sexy, okay?

Hold out your hands, palms down.

Okey-dokes.

Aah!

Ha ha.

Again.

Ow!

Ha ha ha.

Again.

Ha ha ha!

The protocol is not for you.

Why not?

Mastering psionic power requires discipline,

commitment, and patience.

I have all that shit.

But you have no psionic potential.

How would you know?

I can prove it to you.

Go ahead.

Strange.

What?

Have you ever died, Mr. Norstrom?

Yeah, once, just... like a bit.

We'll start first thing tomorrow morning.

I'll need you to sign this.

It says I'm not responsible for anything

that happens to you as a result of the protocol.

That includes death,

dismemberment, mental breakdown,

blindness, things like that.

Cool, cool, cool.

Oh, um... how much is this gonna cost?

Nothing.

Then how do you make money?

I'm psychic, Mr. Norstrom.

Money, really, is not an issue.

Huh.

Where's everyone else?

You are the only student.

Okay. Well, I thought

that there were gonna be other people here.

Please take off your watch.

Why?

You need to break free of the illusion of linear time.

Okay.

I'll also need your phone

and any other digital devices you may have on your person.

Change into this.

What's wrong with my clothes?

I will return them at the end of the protocol.

Why?

It's not my job to explain the protocol.

You'll also need to stop consuming all stimulants.

This includes cigarettes, coffee, and any form of sugar.

You'll also have to stop masturbating quite so much.

I don't.

Here is a bag with ablution implements,

toothpaste, soap, and so forth.

There is a shower and toilet here.

You won't be able to leave

for the duration of the protocol.

Well, how long is that?

14 days, but the first 7

are just fasting and meditation.

Okay. Look.

I'm not staying here for 14 days.

I'll give you 5 days.

If you can't make me a psychic in five days,

then that's your problem.

It's not possible to complete

the protocol in that time.

Ah, come on.

Must be an easier way.

There is no easy way.

There is a faster way, but it's not recommended.

Okay. So, what's the faster way?

There is a compound, but it's...

Cool. Compound. Fantastic.

No. Wait.

What?

Nothing.

Cool. So, what's next?

We will begin the orientation.

Sweet.

Bring on the orientation.

In order to master psionic power,

you must acknowledge that everything you know

about reality is wrong.

Everything's wrong. Got it.

You must understand that you are

a hyperdimensional being.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Hyperdimensional being. Mm-hmm.

There are five pillars to psionic power.

Pre-cognition, the ability to know your future.

Telelocation, the power to locate objects.

Telekinesis,

the power to move objects with your mind.

Telepathy...

Yeah, I only need the telelocation one.

The others are just...

Most people think that there are four dimensions,

but there are in fact 10.

The first dimension beyond time is known

as the Openhauser-Kleinman hypothesis,

named after the two scientists that came up with it.

The sixth dimension beyond time is known as the

Young-Trinklock-Busselhall-Smith speculation,

because all three came up with it

and then Smith wrote it down.

After that, they decided to keep things simple

and name new ones after fruits.

So, you have the lemon dimension,

the rockmelon dimension, the avocado dimension,

so on and so forth.

The evacuation will begin soon.

I'm actually feeling quite...

Oh, my God!

You did this to me!

You did this to me, you witch!

I recommended you follow the protocol.

You chose the fast way instead.

Oh, my God.

What is in my ear?

That is ear toxin.

Oh! Oh, God!

Am I gonna die?

It is possible.

Oh, my God!

What's happening to me?

Uh!

Oh... Oh, God.

How long was I out?

Your dreams are portals to other dimensions

and parallel universes.

As soon as you wake,

you need to write down what you've dreamt about.

Use your left hand.

I'm right-handed.

Just do it without thinking.

Look. See? It's just gibberish.

Are you sure?

Oh, boy.

You're going to begin a color diet.

Monday, blue food.

Tuesday, green food.

Wednesday, red food.

Thursday, yellow food.

Friday, white food.

And Saturday, black food.

Why?

Stop asking that question.

Today you will learn concentration.

Ah, I'm actually a trained athlete

in the most difficult sport on Earth,

which is, of course, tennis.

In fact, I was ranked 347th at one point.

So, I'm pretty au fait

with concentration techniques.

All right, then, go ahead.

Great.

Hmm.

Are you doing it?

Can you shut up for a moment? Thanks.

Concentrating, mm-hmm.

Easy to me...

because I am naturally, mentally, very strengthy.

"Strengthy?" Hmm. Is that a word?

No, that's not a word.

It was my tennis training that allowed me to...

Shh!

I am saying nothing.

The trick is just to tune it all out.

Just tune it all out.

All of it. See? It's easy.

No internal chatter at all.

None. Just blank mind.

Blank, blankety-blank, blank blank. Easy.

You must shut down the inputs

coming in from your senses...

No. Fuck off.

So you can open the doors of perception.

You can't come in here. This is my head.

Focus on the space between the thoughts.

You're the one that's getting in between those spaces!

I am nowhere.

Are you using tele-fucking-pathy

to get into my fucking head right now?

Stop thinking and focus on the space

between your thoughts.

This was not as easy as he thought.

The main problem was that Dutch had an incredibly itchy nose.

You know your problem, Dutch?

Oh, fuck's sake, please, not now, Emily.

Stop thinking about thoughts

and begin to no-think about the gaps

between your thoughts.

Okay.

When you really analyze it,

Dutch had wasted the last 20 years of his life.

Don't listen to Emily.

Your thoughts are not real.

They're just an illusion

that clouds a higher reality.

And it all boiled down

to a series of half-baked plans,

failed attempts, a scrambled knot

of fumbling discontent.

Emily was right, of course.

I often did have a running commentary in my head

that sounded a bit like a voiceover in a movie.

Aah!

Okay, this isn't going very well.

Obviously.

Is there a, um...

a faster way?

Yes, but it is not recommended.

How do you feel?

Come with me.

Smell this.

This is a waypoint.

This is a moment in space-time

that you can revisit if you accidentally

get lost in a parallel universe.

How would I know if I was lost in a parallel universe?

There's no way of telling for sure.

Huh! Oh.

Today we will be exercising your psychic glands.

We would normally space these exercises over five days,

but we'll do them all today.

First, let's start with psychic breathing.

Hold until your consciousness falls into a singularity.

Eight.

Three wavy lines.

The cheap perfume of a happy hooker.

Three wavy lines.

Good.

A hug of a man that is not your father

yet not not your father.

Triangle.

Keep holding.

One.

Good. And again.

Keep holding.

My grandfather's belt.

Mother slamming her fingers in a door.

Where are you going?

Anywhere!

Because I didn't believe in any of this woo-woo bullshit!

Let us go for a drive.

Uh-huh.

I envy them in a way...

their straightforward lives, their basic concerns.

They have no idea of the true shape of reality.

How are you doing this?

You know how I'm doing it.

Can you, like...

move anything using your mind?

I can move objects within my vicinity,

objects I'm familiar with.

Could you use it to, like,

change the channel on a TV?

That is what a remote control does.

Could you use it to get something out of the fridge

without standing up, like beer or... or a packet of chips?

Why do you seek psionic power, Dutch?

Please tell me that it's not

so that you can sit on a couch feeding yourself potato.

I wanna find the car that hit me.

I wanna meet the prick that did this to me.

Is that the day you died?

Yes.

Did you ever thank the man that saved you?

Yes. I sent him a text.

Perhaps that day was the greatest of your existence.

Yeah, well, it fucking hurt, okay? Still does.

Physical pain is nothing.

If you master even the basic precepts of psionic power

without going insane, you will face dilemmas

that will shake the very foundations

of your consciousness.

And then you will understand...

cosmic pain.

The time has come to attempt your first telelocation.

Hold the object in your hand.

Take note of its weight,

its temperature, its shape.

Close your eyes and visualize the object.

This is called phase locking.

You have to tune your mind

into an object-specific vibration.

You can phase lock off an object or off something

that has touched the object.

Once you have phase locked successfully onto something,

it is much easier to telelocate it.

Close your eyes, visualize the object,

and begin your breath work.

Hold. Hold it out.

Hold as long as you can.

You will come to the point of singularity.

At that point, you will experience the object directly.

Did you sense anything?

I can taste strawberry.

What color is strawberry?

That's what the color diet is for.

Let us try again.

Be that as it may.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You have done well.

How'd you get into all this?

My father was a parapsychologist.

He created the protocol by experimenting

on my brother and I.

We're both psionic prodigies.

My dad wanted me to be a prodigy, too,

but then... it didn't work out.

Now we don't talk.

Well, we talk, but we just don't talk-talk, you know?

My father is dead.

Right.

Sorry to hear that.

Um... what's your brother like?

He abducts people and brainwashes them

into becoming his psychic slaves.

And is that part of the course?

No.

Maybe you could add it,

as, like, an elective or something.

If you use psionic powers for selfish means,

you will develop emotional blocks.

Then you will have to do more evil

in order to overcome those blocks,

and then you'll become trapped in a spiral of cosmic evil...

just like my brother.

My brother's adopted.

It's weird, you know?

I don't get why my dad likes him more.

Anyway... this is nice.

Yeah, like, it's good to share with someone,

like a couple of buddies, you know?

I'm here to teach you psychic telelocation.

That is all.

Right.

Yeah.

Uh!

Get off!

Oates. Yeah. Hey, um...

yeah, it's Dutchie, mate.

Can you come pick me up?

Dutch.

Where the fuck have you been, bro?

And what the fuck are you wearing, mate?

Lyra gave them to me.

Well, who's Lyra?

My psychic coach.

Bro, I told you that shit was a scam, man.

Listen, I found it.

Found what?

The car that hit me.

Yeah? Well, how?

It doesn't matter. I just need you

to take me there now... please.

Okay, fine.

Great.

Dutch?

Dutch?

Where are you?

Dutch?

Who is that?

Ha ha ha ha!

Be gone, Haxan!

You are not welcome here.

What are you doing, Lyra? Why are you hiding from me?

I'm not hiding.

I'm not scared of you.

Good.

You shouldn't fear me. We're family.

You and I are the same.

I am nothing like you.

I will find the Paragon, Lyra,

and you will help me.

Never.

So, you sensed there was a mid-range Japanese car

at the car wreckers, did you?

That makes you a psychic, does it?

I'm a hyperdimensional being now, Oates.

Yeah, this is a cult.

You've joined a cult, bro.

Bitcoin's a cult.

Did you sleep with Emily?

Sorry. What?

Did...

you...

fuck...

my wife?

No.

You're crazy?

Shit.

Did... did someone say something?

Did Emily say that?

So, you did, then?

She was upset that her marriage was breaking up.

I was just comforting her.

That's all I was doing,

just comforting her.

Believe me, believe me...

What... What are you...

What are you doing, bro?

Leave!

How are you doing that, bro?

Leave!

Oh, fuck. Is this ventriloquy or something?

You're a big dick. So, leave.

Did you learn this shit in the cult, bro?

Oh, my god! What the fuck? Ah!

You won't be able to telelocate the car that hit you.

Why not?

Because every time you try to locate the object,

your mind will be clouded with emotion,

and thoughts will block you from phase locking on it.

I want my money back.

You did not pay any money.

Just let me get this straight so I'm clear.

Even though the only reason I did your stupid protocol

was to find the car that hit me,

it is now literally the only thing I can't find.

No, you can't...

but I can.

So, you could find the silver Toyota for me?

Yes, but first,

you must find something for me.

Okay. What?

It is called the Paragon.

What the fuck is that?

It's a hyper-dimensional crystal.

What the fuck is that?

Most adepts can only affect things

that they have a direct link to,

something they can see, something they can feel,

something that links them together.

The Paragon allows an adept to access anything

anywhere in space-time.

My father first learned of the existence of the Paragon

from studying the ancient texts.

The sages spoke of a crystal

that could access all the dimensions

but could only be found in the Well of Unknowing.

He realized the only way to search for it

was to know that he would one day find it.

Then when he did, he could use its power

to transmit the place it was hidden

back in time to himself.

No, say that again. So, he would... what?

Look, the point is,

as soon as my father actually held the Paragon,

he realized that it was far too powerful

for any human to possess.

So, he decided to hide it from the world again.

He returned to the Well of Unknowing

to place a decoy to confuse anyone who would seek it.

But there he found my brother, Haxan.

Where is it, father? Where is it?

Father and Haxan had an epic psionic battle.

Open your mind to me.

I'm more powerful.

My father paid with his life.

Father?

Aah!

The secret of where the Paragon is hidden

died with him, but...

But you've both been emotionally cock-blocked

from finding the magic rock.

That about it?

We will do an exchange.

You will telelocate the Paragon,

and then I will telelocate the car that hit you.

Other way around, sunshine.

I'm not doing diddly until we do my thing first.

Very well.

Whereabouts did it hit you?

The corner of Nikau and St. Mary's Ave.

No. Whereabouts on your body?

Oh, like, around there.

Allow me to touch it.

I have to phase lock with the car.

I know where it is.

Ha ha ha! This is it.

This is the... This is the car.

Of course it is.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, I can do this.

Yep, I can do this.

What are you doing?

I am gonna serve up some justice, yeah.

I'm gonna grand-slam this motherfucker.

It is gonna be game, set, match.

This was not the agreement.

This is exactly the agreement.

I told you, you cannot use the powers for evil.

This isn't evil.

Know what is evil?

Evil is driving your car into someone

and leaving them for dead.

This is justice.

Now, either you help me deliver the justice,

or you can forget about your precious Paragon.

So, we deliver justice, you find the Paragon.

This is the final agreement now, final, final.

Yep, okay, cool.

So, do you want the Ripper or the High-beam?

Who are you?

Is that your car out the back?

Yes. Why?

Right, and how... how long have you owned it?

It's all paid off.

Mm-hmm, and you the only one that drives it?

What is this about?

Were you driving it on the 13th of March last year?

Who are you?

You don't remember me?

You hit me with your car.

You almost killed me.

You did kill him, but he came back to life.

Yeah, exactly, so...

have anything to say for yourself?

That's irrelevant.

Are we going to do the justice or not?

Mum! Mum, I'm starving.

Hey, Vinnie, I'm just cooking you some lunch.

Are we gonna play tennis or something?

Can you just give me 10 more minutes, Vinnie?

Okay.

I'm just cooking her some lunch.

Would you like something to eat?

We are hungry for justice.

I'm hungry for food, actually.

Okay, okay.

What color is the food?

It's just spaghetti bolognese.

Oh.

I actually do a pretty good spag bol myself.

Yeah, um, trick is you want to use Marmite,

brings out the umami.

Is... is that man going to be all right?

Yeah. Yeah, he's gonna be fine.

Yeah, he's, um...

he's just having a liedown.

Someone's helping him.

This is really good, Mum,

much better than the usual stuff.

What's this?

Oh, it's the book of rides.

Oh, yeah?

I've had a ride in all of these.

It's pretty comprehensive.

I've been on a 787 Dreamliner.

Have you?

Yeah, maybe.

I don't normally pay attention to the model number.

Have you ever been on a motorbike?

Yeah.

Have you ever been on a motor trike?

No.

I bet I've been in more vehicles than you have.

Have you ever been on a submarine?

- No. - I have.

- No, you haven't. - How would you know?

You know how I know. Why would you mislead the child?

There was a tour of submarines at Auckland Harbor in 1991,

and I went to it, so...

You're trying to make yourself

seem more impressive than you are.

- What's this one? - Oh, that's mum's car.

It's got a dent in it because

some moron walked in front of her once.

A moron?

Yeah, moron.

Okay, hey, Vinnie,

why don't you go and play outside, out front?

Okay.

I was drunk...

when I hit you.

I was about six beers down.

Really? That's your excuse?

Look, Vinnie's dad was trying to take her to Australia,

and I... I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach,

like, all the time,

and the booze just took the edge off,

you know, helped me get through the day.

I don't know what happened.

I didn't even see you.

I just knew that if I stopped, then I would lose my license.

You know, I'd lose my job.

I'd lose Vinnie and...

Yeah, so I ran.

I was selfish.

I tried to forget about it,

but I actually ended up thinking about it every day.

And, um...

Well, I stopped drinking, and I managed to convince

Vinnie's dad to leave without her.

I kind of got my shit together.

Well, I'm glad that ruining my life was

such a transformative experience for you.

I'm sorry. I'm...

I'm really sorry.

Okay. Do you think that's good enough, honestly?

What do you want?

Yeah, um... so, ah...

So, I'm just gonna hit you once,

you know, to make my point.

Okay.

Great. Um...

So, do you wanna pick a body part or...

Um... collarbone.

God, no, not the collarbone.

That's awful.

Elbow then.

It's a joint.

I mean, what's wrong with you?

Fine. Leg, then.

Okay, very nice.

I've gotta use my left.

It's not as strong as my right.

I don't wanna...

Lucky!

Oh, Vinnie, Vinnie, can you go back inside, please?

- Mum, Lucky's gone! - Shit!

- Who's Lucky? - My dog.

The gate's open, and he's run away again!

Dutch left the gate open.

No, I didn't.

Oh, no. Yeah, I did, I did.

If he's wandering around outside, he might get hit by a car!

Lucky!

- Lucky! - Lucky!

Lucky!

Dutch, I do not understand what we're doing.

We're looking for Lucky the dog.

This woman crippled you for life,

and you came to get justice,

but you've cooked her a delicious pasta dish,

and now we're searching for her missing dog.

Can you stop bugging me, please?

Lucky!

He's been gone for an hour now.

He could be anywhere.

Hey, give me the leash for a sec.

Thanks, squirt.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna telelocate the stupid pooch, aren't I?

No, Dutch, don't.

That could be very dangerous.

Dangerous how?

I'm not sure.

It could be a trap.

Give me me hood.

No.

Lyra, give me the hood.

It's the kid's dog.

Give me the hood.

Lucky! Lucky!

Lucky!

How did you know where she was going to be?

Oh, I'm just... psychic, I guess.

Hmm. Thank you. Thanks very much.

Oh, no, it's fine.

Thank you. What?

Oh, no.

What the hell is going on?

It is my brother.

Oh, great.

Behold!

I am Haxan.

So, this is your prize acolyte?

Look at him.

A lowly cripple.

What the hell are you laughing at?

You look like you're real sweaty under there.

Silence.

No, don't look at him.

Yes, I see into your mind.

Yes.

Wait a minute.

How does this mush-minded fool have so much psionic power?

He died once already.

Did you kill him?

No, of course not.

Hmm.

Look into my eyes.

- I am a control. - Let him go.

You will find the Paragon...

for me.

Let him go!

Obey me.

Ah! Ah! Ow!

Stop! Ah!

What happened?

Haxan tried to make you his psychic slave.

Why?

He wants to use your psionic ability

to find the Paragon.

So, just like you, then?

No, nothing like me.

He does not care what he destroys

to get what he wants.

What's he want to do with it?

The Paragon will allow him to read the minds

of people who have not yet been born,

to control the minds of people in the past,

to project his consciousness anywhere or any-when.

He'll be able to move objects in the past

to change the present.

If Haxan possesses the Paragon,

he will become an Archon.

What's an Archron?

An Archon is a kind of demigod.

Mmm, no, you don't want him to become a demigod.

That guy's such a dick, right?

Yeah.

My father came to this place to hide the Paragon.

He sent me this just before he died.

He would have held it with the same hands

as he used to hold the Paragon.

You should be able to phase lock from it.

The only things I've telelocated so far

have been a china figurine and a dog.

It's the same process.

Just begin with the techniques I've taught you.

Dutch, where are you?

Dutch!

Yeah, I know where it is.

Is that it?

What?

Nothing, nothing.

Just surprised you didn't think to go

and look in the motel, that's all.

I told you, I had an emotional block.

Yeah, but he sent you the key.

So, it was, like, super straightforward.

I do not see the point in discussing this.

I know, but you spend a week teaching me

how to be psychic.

And then it was just in the drawer.

Like, you know, he left behind

his phone charger or something.

This is not over yet, Dutch.

We still need to destroy it.

Oh, no.

Oh, come on, not these guys again.

Well done, sister.

You found your way around the block.

But now it is time to give me my due.

Never!

No!

Take your slimy hands off me!

You hurt her,

I'll smash your precious Paragon to pieces.

Hmm. I don't think you will.

Don't worry, little sister.

I'll fix all this mess.

I'll fix all your mistakes.

So, it was in the motel all along.

Even a dingbat could have worked that out,

and, in a sense, one did.

Still, at least you'll have the honor

of being the first mind that I crush,

like a ripe tomato.

Aah!

Uh.

What are you doing?

Seriously, what is wrong with you?

Nothing.

There's literally nothing wrong with me.

Did you ever have a dream that felt more like a memory?

No.

I had this dream last night, right?

And there was this woman,

and she's dressed all in black.

And she was teaching me how to be psychic.

She was really mean.

I quite liked it.

Well, you went out with Oates last night.

You probably hit it pretty hard.

Yeah. I'm...

I'm gonna go for a run.

Oh, hey, Oates.

Yeah, man?

Hey, man, what did we do last night?

We had an absolute banger.

Yeah, because I feel spacey, like, I don't know,

like I woke up in a different world or something.

Bro, just have a spliff, and you'll be all good.

Now remember, I need you to bring that shit today, bro.

What shit?

Ha ha. Funny guy. Don't piss around.

If we're gonna be in the business together,

you have to be reliable. It's about trust.

Dutch, hurry up. We're gonna be late.

Yep, yep, yep.

God, I'm starving.

I don't wanna wait.

Can we just order?

Cool. What did you have last time?

We've never been here before.

Yeah, we have.

No, we haven't, Dutch. Wake up.

Yeah, we have.

I was sitting... Well, you were sitting there.

I think I was...

That woman is staring at you.

She's dressed all in black.

Is that the woman from your dreams?

Yeah.

She get inside your head, did she?

Yeah.

The one you've been fucking.

Sorry. What?

Oh, my god, it's so pathetic.

Your whole dream story. Just own it.

Sorry. Um... own what?

This is actually such a relief, if I'm honest.

While we're confessing things...

yes, I have been seeing Oates.

What do you mean "seeing Oates?"

Have you been fucking my brother?

Well, he's adopted.

Are you serious?

I have been trying to engage with you on this.

You're not present with me.

You haven't been present with me for a long time.

Even... Look, I'm gonna put this in an email.

Do not put this in an email!

I'll do bullet points.

Number one, your anger issues.

Hey boo-boo, what's good?

Hey, where you going, bro?

I don't wanna talk to you, man.

Cool. Yeah. I just need the shit

that you brought for me, yeah?

Oh, the shit that I brought for you.

Yeah, yeah, cool, man. No worries. No worries.

Sorry. Just, almost forgot, for a second about...

No, bro, are you fucking serious?

That's a quarter mill right there!

Bro, that shit's not even paid for yet, bro!

You fuck my wife,

and I fuck your life.

Do you understand what you've just done?

The people I owe, they're gonna want answers, man.

They're gonna want blood, bro.

I have to shoot you right here, bro.

- Is that a real gun? - Yep.

Wow. So, you would shoot your own brother?

I'm adopted, remember?

My god, why does Dad like you more?

Because I'm happy, bro.

Okay, okay.

Do it, then!

Okay, choose a body part.

You're actually gonna do it?

Choose a body part!

Okay.

Um... foot.

No, too easy. Arm...

No, tennis.

Okay, um... leg.

Okay, leg. I'm gonna shoot you in the leg.

Honestly, who are you?

At exactly 4:33

on Wednesday, 13th of March last year,

you were walking home from a shop near your house.

You crossed the road, and a car nearly hit you.

It was a silver Toyota.

It missed you by only a heartbeat.

Wait. So, how do you know about that?

Because in a parallel universe, it did hit you.

It hit you and almost killed you.

You were crippled for life.

You came to me to try and find the car,

to find the driver.

I taught you hyperdimensional consciousness.

Okay, okay.

Let me just set you straight here.

I don't believe in that woo-woo bullshit, okay?

Come with me.

I can prove it to you.

Yeah, all right, one sec.

So, I don't see a car.

Let us go inside.

Oh.

Who are you?

We are seekers, from another plane of existence.

Cool.

Oh, that's cool.

Um, do you want a drink?

I'm having a bit of a party.

Do you have a silver Toyota Corolla?

Uh, yeah...

Yep. Why?

Where's the car now?

I don't know.

I don't drive anymore.

I'm not allowed.

Hey, no, don't touch that.

What are you doing?

Who drew all these pictures?

Put that down! Wait. Who are you?

You have a daughter named Vinnie, right?

Where's Vinnie?

Get out.

Where's Vinnie?

Get out!

Just get out! Just get out!

Get out!

Mum!

What?

You almost hit that guy!

Did I?

He should watch where he's going.

Why do I feel like I know the kid?

Because you do.

You met in a parallel universe.

But here, Beth missed you.

So, she kept driving drunk.

She drove through a red light.

Vinnie was killed instantly.

So, how is that my problem?

It's not your problem.

This has nothing to do with me.

No, it doesn't.

So, why do I feel like shit about it, then?

What you're feeling is called cosmic sorrow.

It's the sorrow for the loss of someone

you have never met.

Can we change it?

If you change one thing, you change everything.

What does that mean?

It means we must find the Paragon...

again.

Who the fuck is driving the car?!

Smell this.

Ugh! What is that?

This is a waypoint.

I'm having a deja-vu thing right now.

This is a moment in space time that you can revisit

if you accidentally get lost...

Lost in a parallel universe.

Do you remember the Paragon?

Did we find it?

Yes, but Haxan took it from us.

He killed you.

That fuck killed me.

Yes, but then he must have used the Paragon

to reach into the past to move Beth's car.

So, you never searched for her,

you never met me,

and you never found the Paragon.

But if I never found it,

then how did he find it?

He has access to higher dimensions, as do you.

Do I, though? Ha.

You have phase locked with the Paragon before.

So, you want me to find it again?

My brother has it.

I know where he is,

and I know what he will do.

What I don't know is... what you will do.

Aah!

Welcome.

I've been expecting you.

I saved you a place here.

Give me the Paragon.

You know exactly how this ends.

It's futile.

No, I don't, and neither do you.

Can't you see?

I'm trying to fix all the mistakes.

You killed Father.

Yes.

And I brought him back again.

Hello, Lyra.

Father.

But how?

Can't you see, Lyra?

I have the power to fix everything,

to change everything.

No.

You killed Father to find the Paragon.

To bring him back to life,

that makes no sense.

Your puny mind can't conceive of my vision.

Father...

you always said that the Paragon

was too powerful for any man to possess.

Haxan possesses the Paragon.

His power reaches through all of the dimensions.

Bow down to Haxan, Lyra.

Bow down to his power.

Father...

please.

Haxan, Haxan...

Cool, cool, cool.

So, you're, like, a... like, a demigod now?

I am Haxan.

What about Vinnie?

Why do you worry for a little girl?

She lives in her dimension as you do in yours.

Here, I am the Archon.

Here, you exist because of me.

Here, you bow down in gratitude.

Yeah, but for what? It's, like...

Well, my career is still pretty shit,

and my wife's still banging my adopted brother,

and now I feel bad about this little kid

that I've never met.

So, like, all respect, but it's still pretty fucked.

I gave you exactly what you wanted...

someone to blame.

Right. So, is it possible to, like,

shift things around again, maybe?

Maybe.

Like what?

Australian Open Champ has a nice ring to it.

I could give you anything.

All you have to do is bow down

and worship me for all eternity.

It's pretty simple, really.

Um...

And what if I, uh...

want to choose my own fate?

Then you choose oblivion.

Mum, mum, watch out!

So, yeah, I ended up in the Lemon Dimension.

Or was it Avocado?

Whatever it was, this story didn't have

a beginning, a middle, or an end.

I just saw it all at once.

None of it made any sense, but that's okay.

Kind of like cosmic joy.

Dutch?

Dutch, where are you?

Dutch!

But in amongst all of that,

in every time, every place,

I could see something powerful,

something I could move around.

Dutch!

So, I decided to put it where it belongs.

It worked.

How the fuck did that work?

The Paragon is a hyperdimensional crystal,

and you are a hyperdimensional being.

So, what do we do now?

Now we must hide it.

Then this will just happen all over again.

No, we will hide it in the past,

where my father can never discover it.

We will combine our psionic powers.

You will telelocate the Paragon in the past,

and then I will move it

so that it can never be found.

But if it's never discovered, then...

you're never gonna search for it.

We're never gonna meet.

I'm sorry.

There is no other way.

That's fine. I'm fine, honestly.

I just... I don't know. I've just got this...

got a weird feeling, you know?

That feeling is called cosmic loneliness.

It's the feeling of missing friends you've never met.

Well, no matter what happens,

you'll always be my cosmic buddy.

And you will be my cosmic buddy, too.

Okay.

Let's fuck this puppy.

Hey.

Oh, we have booked a hall for volleyball.

We have this booked every Tuesday and Thursday.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Just look on the website, mate.

Lucky! Lucky!