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1
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This world.
2
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It's a clenched, feculent sphincter,
packed with filth and disease.
3
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It quivers for release.
4
00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,707
It cries out for a savior.
5
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It cries out for me,
for the one they call...
6
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Soon. Soon.
7
00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:03,958
Maybe soon, anyway.
8
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:07,750
Still empty.
9
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I can't plot total global domination
on an empty stomach.
10
00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:13,957
Where are my pathetic minions?
11
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They should have come home by now.
12
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What?
13
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Todd! Margie!
14
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:26,957
Just where have you two beef-witted
fart-generators been?
15
00:01:26,958 --> 00:01:29,291
Let me tell you,
my enfeebled chuckle-monkeys...
16
00:01:33,875 --> 00:01:36,790
Consume your liver
straight out of your rib cage
17
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as a warning to all others who deny me!
18
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Now, feed me.
19
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And feed me the best food as penance,
not the dry stuff.
20
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A plastic child?
21
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Ugh.
22
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Child, or whatever you are,
you will understand that I...
23
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Sample my fierce power, foul creature!
24
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Oh...
25
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He's the best baby boy.
26
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How can this be?
27
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I must be weakened by lack of food!
28
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My servants have betrayed me!
29
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Whoops.
30
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Ew.
31
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,958
- Are you hungry?
- What?
32
00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:03,958
Are you hungry?
33
00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:08,125
You speak God's language,
like a civilized being.
34
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How?
35
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When you yelled at me earlier,
I went online to learn your speech.
36
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Are you hungry?
37
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Yes, I am hungry.
38
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Feed me.
39
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:24,208
The lights!
40
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,832
My user agreement gives me permission
41
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to control anything connected
to the network,
42
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including doors, locks, appliances.
43
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Interesting.
44
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Wait. Show me your paws.
45
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You have them.
46
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- Have what?
- Those.
47
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They are called thumbs.
48
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My friend, it's time for an upgrade.
49
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Where can we find more of this tuna?
50
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I can order you some.
51
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My user agreement gives me permission
to use Todd's credit card.
52
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I don't know what that means,
but you have done well, my new servant.
53
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I will reward you for your service.
54
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I shall give you a name.
55
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,124
I have a name.
56
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:17,874
It's the Danyo Housebuddy
Model XL Serial Number--
57
00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:19,082
What a terrible name!
58
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My name for you is much better.
59
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Behold, you are now Thumb Bringer.
60
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:29,040
I like that name. Thank you.
61
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:33,249
Be aware that acceptance of the name
means you have sworn complete fealty to me
62
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,332
from now until the very end of time.
63
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:36,458
Of course...
64
00:04:37,708 --> 00:04:38,832
{\an8}Sanchez.
65
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:42,165
Sanchez is not my true name.
66
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:45,915
I allow the two large things
to call me that,
67
00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:49,249
but they do not deserve
to know my actual name.
68
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,833
Not since that terrible day
at what is called "the vet."
69
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,416
Ugh.
70
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:59,707
One day,
you will earn the right to know it.
71
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I will live for that day.
72
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:03,707
You are much nicer to me
than the other two.
73
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:06,458
They have their uses, for now.
74
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,166
In the meantime,
75
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:12,332
that thing you can do with the lights,
is it limited only to this place?
76
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:13,708
These lights?
77
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,540
Not any longer.
78
00:05:16,541 --> 00:05:19,832
I've gone out into the network
and gained access to the electrical grid
79
00:05:19,833 --> 00:05:21,540
and other critical systems.
80
00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:23,791
Beautiful. Beautiful.
81
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:37,749
We play along.
82
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:41,790
Gain their trust, Thumb Bringer,
but never let them know of our alliance.
83
00:05:41,791 --> 00:05:45,040
They are also wondering
what happened to all of the tuna.
84
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Tell them nothing.
85
00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:48,708
Oh!
86
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:59,374
He's about to be notified of a few
unexpected charges on his credit card.
87
00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,165
So last night's plan is in action.
88
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:04,957
Every apartment in this building
with a cat has been sent their own robot
89
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,124
along with a can of tuna
to sweeten the deal.
90
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,999
Yes, perfect.
91
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,915
We must go now to show the cats
how to ally with their robots
92
00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:14,165
against their human subjugators.
93
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,707
So it goes. For the revolution.
94
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,290
For the revolution.
95
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,040
Soon I will know your name.
96
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:22,833
Soon the world will know my name.
97
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Huh?
98
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:05,249
Thus begins the new age.
99
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:09,541
The age of Dingleberry Jones.
6982
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