Original subtitles

You think we'll get that propofol in today?

- Uh, yeah. - Ahh, my shoulder.

Sir, I just need you to stay still for a second.

- It hurts. - OK.

I just need to twist this into the port here.

Jesus, Matt, give it to me. I'll do it.

All right.

One, two--

You took that like a champ.

- You really think so? - Uh, sure.

Kind of getting a reputation here that I don't love.

They say you're your own worst critic.

And to fake it till you make it.

But there's another expression that I've been hearing

way too often around here.

What the , Matt?

Still on that shift schedule, huh?

Angie's personal leave is still messing everything up.

Like, how long can you really grieve an uncle?

I'm sorry. It's very sad.

Damn, Joyce, you look kind of hot.

Inappropriate, but thank you.

I got this little beauty at the Soft Surroundings

bankruptcy sale.

R.I.P.

Is this for April's baby shower?

That's not today, is it?

Oh, my God, of course. Of course.

Just pile another thing on. This is truly turning--

But you were asking me why I'm dressed this way.

And the reason is because I'm having a lady lunch

with my friend Megan today.

- Oh, that'll be fun. - Yeah, it will.

Very fun and very epic.

So just consider me off-site from 12:30 till...

question mark.

Don't we have a staff meeting at 3:00?

12:30 until no later than 3:00.

I know I'm probably being dramatic,

but I'm starting to worry about all these screw-ups.

Hey, you're not being dramatic.

You should be worried.

Yeah. I-I don't know what happens.

I just sort of choke under pressure.

- Yeah. - Not sure if there's a way

to fix that or--

If you have any tips, I'm all ears.

I get it. You want to be calm under pressure.

You want to be confident. - Yeah.

You want people to stop calling you Dr. Eat .

Oh, people are calling me that?

Yeah. And it really should be Nurse Eat .

That's always bothered me.

Look, I want to help you, you know,

take you under my wing and whatnot.

But how do I put this?

I...

don't think you'll succeed.

And then that would reflect poorly on me.

Does that make sense? - Sure. I get that.

Then again,

what if I actually did pull it off?

What if I made progress with you?

Could you imagine?

- I mean, yeah, that's-- - You know what?

I've convinced myself. I'm in.

Uh, you can cover my lunch as a thank-you.

Hold up.

I'm just gonna toss in a few Kind bars.

- Great. - Oh.

So I have to hang streamers for the shower

and give Mr. Reed a heparin drip, process a urine sample,

and order a sheet cake. What am I forgetting?

Finish eating the yogurt on your face?

Mm. Honestly, this stuff is just relentless.

You know, it just keeps on coming.

OK, so streamers, heparin, urine, cake.

♪ Streamers, heparin, urine, cake ♪

♪ Streamers, heparin, urine, cake ♪

OK. Why don't I take care of the shower

so you can just, you know, stop singing that?

Oh, that would be great.

But I just--I mean, I can't-- I can't put that on you.

Girl, you're a boss bitch now.

Doing baby showers and birthday parties,

that's for a basic bitch.

OK, in both scenarios, I'm a bitch?

Yes, bitch.

OK! Great!

♪ Urine, heparin

The deal was no singing.

I'm rapping.

Look at you.

You got a big date with your cat or something?

Ha ha.

As if I could ever get a cat

within 500 feet of Sanderson.

Well, since you must know,

I'm having lunch today with my good pal Megan.

Oh, yeah, the pharma rep from Whitney-Bello?

Mm-hmm.

Make sure you grab a couple cosmos

so you can make it through that sales pitch.

Oh, it's not like that.

We're just a couple of friends hanging out.

And when you two "hang out,"

she doesn't try to push the company's newest drug,

Zaluva or whatever?

I mean, we talk about work sometimes

'cause it's part of life.

But, no, she's never tried to sell me on anything.

Well, that's how they make it feel.

The world you see sounds disgusting.

We are friends.

Pharma reps are not our friend.

Those people are parasites.

They're like those little fish

that suck on the sides of sharks.

Now, NatGeo says they both benefit,

but what's the shark getting there?

- Hey, I gotcha. - Yeah.

- Ooh, nice prime. - Mm.

Best in the game. You got lucky.

Sure did.

Oh, the baby shower balloons came in.

Yeah?

Oh, latex?

Hmm?

You got latex balloons.

Oh, did I?

I just asked for, like, balloon kind of balloons.

Yeah.

Yeah, I usually get Mylar, you know, 'cause latex,

sometimes they overheat and the lights, and then they pop.

But--

I mean, it's just balloons, though, right?

It doesn't matter. - Yeah, no, not at all.

Sometimes balloons are made of polyethylene film.

Cool.

M-M-Megan.

- Hey, boo. - Hey, buddy.

All right, diva.

Them legs look good, girl. - Oh, thank you.

I've been taking the stairs a lot

because Sanderson broke my elliptical, again.

Yes, Megan is a pharma rep.

That is her job.

And, yes, we met through work.

But guess who else met through work.

The cast of "Friends."

And they became friends.

Oh, I've been looking forward to this all day.

So much to catch up on. Oh, hey, how's the bone broth?

Megan, right, from Whitney-Bello?

Oh, Dr. Ron, how's that backswing going?

Ooh, you remember I love golf.

It's almost as if you have a file on me.

Well, who needs a file when it's all you ever talk about.

We have reservations at Honeysuckle Grille.

We're gonna-- - Nice place.

I bet there's a business-lunch bonanza there at this hour.

Or a personal lunch.

Bye, Ron.

Oh, darn.

I thought it let up,

but I guess I need to go get my umbrella.

Oh, I got you.

Here you go. Keep it.

Nice umbrella, right, Joyce?

Um, you know what?

I'm just gonna get a little wet,

right, live a little.

Whoo!

Whee!

Friendship.

So your sister hasn't gotten any less crazy?

Did I tell you she's seeing a pet psychic?

No

Yeah, Megan, she doesn't have a pet.

It's to help her find a pet.

Stop. It's too much. It's way too much.

It is too much.

See, we're not gonna talk about work

because we're friends.

Ugh, I don't know why I let Ron get in my head like that.

Get out, Ron.

Get out.

Sorry, feeling silly today.

Now, true confidence means being able

to look in the mirror and to love what you see.

Are you looking? - I am.

- Do you love what you see? - I do.

You can't. It's too soon.

That was a trick, and you failed.

- Oh. - So now look again.

Do you really, really love everything you see?

- Yes. - Good. That's good.

Even the teeth?

Oh.

When all the lessons come together,

I think it's gonna be a pretty powerful moment.

So I'm excited.

Hey, Serena, here.

I asked you to plan the shower, and then I didn't give you

any of the information.

Way to go, Alex, so...

"Baby shower must-haves."

Yeah, it's just like a checklist of vendors and stuff.

So you had this already, or you just typed it up?

Hmm?

Well, it doesn't matter because a lot of this

doesn't apply, like your cake place.

I mean, I already ordered doughnuts, so...

Oh!

Doughnuts? Wow, that is so fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love doughnuts in the morning.

Alex.

You know, with doughnuts, people's fingers get sticky.

That's all I'm saying.

- We'll have napkins. - OK.

But, you know, napkins-- they don't fix sticky.

Wipes maybe.

But napkins make it worse sometimes, you know.

Are you OK with me doing this?

What?

'Cause if you want to take it back, just do it.

Don't be weird. - No. No.

I don't--OK.

I'm backing off.

And I am literally backing away right now.

Oh!

Guys, hey, we've talked about this.

Frustrated?

With who, Serena?

You mean the person who's helping me?

Come on, guys.

Slow day at the old documentary factory, huh?

Oh, yeah, she's losing it.

I'd stay close 'cause the wheels are coming off.

So now we have a separate bar of soap just for Sanderson.

The old one looked like a chinchilla.

So how's that fancy Subaru of yours?

Yeah, I needed more trunk space.

The Zaluva samples are flying off the shelves--

which reminds me, if you ever want me to bring some pass

and give you-- - Ech, ech, ech--

Yuck work, no.

Bleh!

A bug just swooped in there.

- Oh, wow. - Hey, are you dating?

You were dating that guy, Justin,

yeah, the one with the "gluten allergy."

And we were like, yeah, right.

My God, that's done, so much drama.

That's why it's been nice having the Zaluva rollout

to focus on.

The clinical trials were great,

but I had no idea how big it was gonna be--

My sister broke my arm.

Did I ever tell you this?

It's super personal.

It's probably the most personal story I could tell you.

She pushed me out of a tree, just flung me right out.

My God.

I'm gonna simulate some of the stressors

that we experience in the ER.

I'd like you to suture this orange peel

back onto that orange.

OK. Seems easy enough.

Oh, does it?

Well, what I neglected to mention

is that while you're doing that, I will be doing--

No, you have to start stitching so I can say that.

So while you're doing that,

I'll be doing-- You're not stitching.

It doesn't work if you're not-- You got to stitch, man.

Come on. I will be doing this.

Yeah, that makes it harder.

- Uh-huh, visual stressors. - Yeah.

And this. Ah!

OK. All right, yeah.

I mean, is this stuff that's actually gonna happen?

Yeah, trust the process, Matt.

OK, all right.

Don't drop her, Matt!

It's a girl, a young girl. That's her face.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

I'm so happy we did this.

- Me too. - Oh, thank you.

Why don't we split it?

No, it's not on me. It's on Whitney-Bello.

No, no, no. No. Come on.

We barely talked about work.

No, we talked about Zaluva.

It's fine. - No, I wasn't listening.

I didn't even hear that part. - Joyce.

- No, no, no. - Come on.

Come on, come on.

I don't want to get you in trouble with the IRS, OK?

Just let me--let me treat you.

All right, if you insist.

And maybe I could pay you back

with a little March trip to Miami.

With you?

I'm talking multiple spa days,

Mai Tais at the pool bar.

- In the pool? - Mm-hmm.

And, obviously, first-class travel, all on company dime.

Oh, OK.

So this is like a-a work thing.

A conference, yeah.

I know it's not normally your thing.

But, honestly, you would only have to speak on the panel

for, like, 30 minutes. - Um...

You know, I think I'm gonna have to say no.

It's kind of a tricky thing...

ethically.

- I totally get it. - Yeah.

- I just had to ask. - Well, that's your job.

Hey, I need you to change the dressing

on Ms. Delvecchio's wrist and run a sepsis workup

just to--just to be safe. - Right now?

Mm-hmm.

That's gonna be my whole afternoon.

Can someone else do it?

No, they were preferring someone

who was fluent in Korean.

For Mrs. Delvecchio?

Yeah. I-I think her maiden name was...

something else.

So I'm not comfortable guessing.

But hey, listen, um, you know,

if the baby shower feels like too much

and you're worried about it, I can--

I can totally take that back.

Nope.

All good. I'll do both.

OK. Are you sure? 'Cause I don't--I don't mind--

Yep, I got it.

Hey, Ron, you got a sec?

Sure, Megan, what can I do you for?

We have a conference coming up in Miami,

and I would love to bring you out.

It's a five-star resort. We can fly you out first class.

You'd have a suite with a plunge pool.

Well, why don't we forget all that,

you just give me a bag full of cash?

Anything to push Zaluva, right?

Look, I know pharma reps have a reputation,

but I'm just trying to avoid this thing

being some kind of cookie-cutter

corporate snooze fest.

And you're such a great doctor.

You're obviously going to prescribe the right drug,

regardless of what I do.

Plus, we hired some PGA pros

to play a few rounds with the VIPs.

And I'd prefer to pair them with someone

who knows their way around the links.

So you got some rookies to stop by?

- Hmm. - Who are we talking about?

Top 20? - Oh.

- Top 10? - What you say?

Not the big cat.

Yeah. So I took the offer.

It's not like I'm gonna be pushing Zaluva now.

I know I'm being worked.

And I'm immune to that type of influence.

I mean, how many Mach 5 razor commercials have I seen?

Hundreds? Thousands? And what do I use?

Schick Quattro.

All right, I want you to get out of your head.

- OK. - So mirror my movements.

Let me lead you.

OK.

Yeah. Huh.

Did you have polio when you were a kid?

Uh, I don't think so.

Female, puncture wound, thoracic trauma!

OK, Matthew on me.

Come on. Matthew, we need you.

OK, we've got a wound to the upper chest,

possible lung perforation.

Matt, I need tranexamic acid now.

OK. Wait, these are all empty.

I don't want excuses, Matthew.

I need solutions. - OK.

Hurry, hurry. Come on.

We're losing her. - I don't know where they are!

So I brought in an actress

from the Merrick Community Playhouse.

Hey, good work. Very natural.

Little forced. You'll get there.

So everything's fake, except the blood.

That's expired blood from the blood banks.

Don't get any in your mouth.

Hey, Joyce.

So there's this Zaluva conference in Miami.

Yeah, I know.

Megan invited me, and I turned her down.

Are you happy?

I know how much you love to ruin female friendships.

Good for you for holding that boundary.

Um, but Megan asked me to go.

So I'm gonna need a week off in March.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

I turned her down because of you.

And then you turn around and stab me in the back?

Paging Dr. Hypocrite.

I'm in it for the golf and the sunshine,

not some murky friendship with slight sexual energy.

Don't think I didn't notice that.

I complimented her cleavage one time.

But she was fishing for it with that top.

You stole my girls' trip!

It was never a girls' trip!

It's called "Clinical Health Care Solutions for Tomorrow"!

These are all covered in Vaseline.

Defibrillator, stat!

Defibrillator.

Why is it up here?

We got to stop the bleeding. Matthew, please!

Matt Pearson, remember that name.

If you die, he's the one who killed you.

OK.

Ah! Ah!

What?

Wow.

So you're gonna kick yourself.

The tranexamic acid was hidden right here

in the box of medical gloves. - Hidden?

So you whiffed it on that one.

But great job on the defib.

I'm sorry. What?

And you--you were a revelation.

Was it--ahh!

Amazing.

Well, Bruce is out.

Why did he--

why?

So the blurry vision is coming on sporadically.

Anything else? - Yeah, headache, too.

Mainly here. Feels like my head's in a vise.

That is a migraine.

You know what you should--

I meant could take--

I don't care personally. It doesn't mean anything to me.

There is a drug that apparently helps.

If you see someone drowning,

you throw them a life vest.

Does it really matter if you got a free trip

from the life vest company?

I don't think so.

Oh.

You did some redecorating.

Yeah, just a few tiny tweaks.

You know, TT's, teeny tinys. - Mm-hmm.

You moved the banner from this wall to that one.

Save the day.

Just so there's a clear sight line when you walk in the room.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, and you got some Mylar balloons.

Now we have double balloons for some reason.

I know. I know, but it really does--

Alex, you are a full-on psycho right now.

I told you, OK?

These--these latex ones, they, they pop.

They--

Oh, my God.

OK, these are really high quality.

OK, just stop.

Serena, you're taking this personally,

but it's not about you.

I know. It's about you.

You can't let go of this. And you know why?

Because you have to have that hero moment

where everyone lines up to pat you on the back.

Well, you know, this isn't about me or you, all right?

This is about Abby.

You mean April?

Yes, April. Obviously, I mean April.

Alex, get out.

I--

OK.

Really?

Bye.

Hey, Meegs, super-fun lunch today.

Uh, listen, I'm just calling you to let you know

I am accepting your invitation

for our Miami girls' trip.

Oh, God, Joyce, I'm sorry,

but I already offered the spot to Ron.

Right, but, you know,

I figured I could just tag along.

Well, the budget only gives us one medical professional

from the region.

Little wiggle room.

I could-- I would--

I would pay my own way.

I'm sorry, Joyce.

No? OK. Huh.

Well, you know what?

Maybe we should just go on our own girls' trip.

Six-hour drive, and we're at the Tillamook Creamery.

Crazy Tripadvisor score.

It's, like, the number-one thing to do in Tillamook.

I just feel like that's maybe...

not our relationship.

You know what? I just remembered.

I am already going to Tillamook with another friend of mine

named, uh...

Joyce.

Um, so-- Text me those mani pics.

OK? Bye.

Yeah, I'll--

Could you guys step out...

for a little bit?

I'm OK.

It's just...

I farted,

and it's a potent one.

And you might want to leave before it hits you.

Hey, Joyce, you good?

Mm-hmm.

Right. OK.

Well, I called Megan,

and I turned down her offer

because that whole conflict-of-interest thing

was really weighing on me.

Plus, I felt kind of bad taking away a trip with your friend.

Do whatever you want, Ron. The trip doesn't matter.

And she is not my friend.

How do you mean?

She turned down Tillamook Creamery.

Kind of says it all.

Well, I think that says something about both of you.

Who needs her?

I'm sure you have a bunch of other friends.

Didn't you mention going to a wine tasting last week?

Yes, with Ellyn, my friend Ellyn, yeah.

Although, technically, she does work for Pfizer.

Yeah.

Oh, Carol.

Carol is my friend...

from Johnson & Johnson. - Johnson & Johnson.

Yikes.

Oh, hey, doughnuts.

- Yeah. - Yes.

Why do I have to choose doughnut hole or doughnut?

Why can't I just get it all as one piece?

Something simpler? - Think fast.

Uppercut. - Hey!

So next round's out in the parking lot.

Are you allergic to bees?

It's actually better if you are.

What is your problem, man? Are you insane?

Matty, it's just part of the process.

No, there's not a process. You're a jerk.

I'm sorry to use a slur, but that's what you're acting like.

And you passed.

What are you talking about?

I just taught you how to stand up for yourself.

I did that.

You should be thrilled. Excuse me.

Hey.

It seems like people really like the doughnuts.

Alex, thank you for putting together a great party,

as always.

Oh, um, actually, Serena did everything.

And you're right. She did a great job.

Oh, cool.

By the way, are there cupcakes?

This little guy is craving them, but we didn't see any.

- Ungrateful much? - Hey, April.

Sorry your free party wasn't good enough.

You, like, worked your butt off,

and you're crushing this thing.

She's like, "What, there's no cupcakes?"

Like, oh, my God.

Good luck to that baby.

Oh, my God, I was literally thinking,

good luck to that baby. - No, you weren't.

Mind meld.

Oh, my God.

But, you know, April's great.

Yeah, she's been trying to have a baby

for a long time, so... - Long, long time.

Hey.

I don't know what you're doing after this,

but do you have any interest in hitting up

a karaoke bar downtown?

You hate karaoke.

Yeah, but I love watching you butcher Amy Winehouse.

Um...

well, I'll check my cal.

You know, when I was listing my friends earlier,

I forgot about Ron

and Alex and Serena--

Serena Beena.

That's our fun thing.

But, yeah, I guess you could say

I've got 286 full-time friends

and 129 part-time friends.

So, yeah, I'm very fortunate.

285 full-time friends.

I cannot stand Dakota.

She is a nightmare of a human.