Original subtitles

You had something in your Bio about:

Liking long walks on the beach.

Hamsters, dogs?

- Dogs.

- Dogs, sorry.

And kicking toddlers.

So I thought I had to text them.

I just wanted to bang.

To be honest.

- Me too.

- I had just gotten out of a relationship.

Three weeks ago.

And wanted to get out there again.

But then we met.

And I never left.

I spent the whole week there.

Didn’t go home once.

It was seriously so weird.

I went into their room

and to the nightstand

and what book did they have lying there?

The exact same book I was reading.

I just can’t recall.

What’s it called?

- Grime, or Grimes.

- Grm. I don't know.

- GRM by Sibylle Berg.

- It was Sibylle Berg?

I really read that so closely.

Nice that we're still together.

We listen to the same music.

Best taste in music ever, by the way.

I just think it’s so crazy.

When we met I really thought, "huh?"

Have we known each other for ever?

Or what is going on here?

I’m not good at expressing stuff like that.

I know, I'm not good at it.

But I think ...

Lee really helps me learn that it is okay to articulate my feelings

even if it isn’t perfect yet.

Would you like to add anything?

- Jasmin is great but I’m sure it’s also because she is Austrian.

Not gonna lie.

Not only, but ...

I don’t vibe well with the people in Berlin.

They have a strange mentality.

Everybody goes from party to party talking about their various „projects“

that nobody ever gets to see.

Everybody’s either high or extremely busy

but nobody pays their own rent.

Jasmin was ...

different. She never tries to be more than she is.

That impressed me.

We were on our first date

and had maybe one glass of wine or two.

- I guess it was at least seven.

- And then she told me

she had a yeast infection at the time ...

- Why are you telling this story?

- And then she said:

„In case you want to fuck, that’ll be possible in a week at the soonest.“

So I said: Fine, then it’s my turn first and I’ll return the favor another time.

That's the fairytale.

Should we give you a house tour?

That’s my mother’s pride. Her project.

She invests all her housewife-energy into it.

Do you have anything to say?

- I don’t have that much to say.

- That’s where we have breakfast when the weather isn’t as shit.

- Oh wait, I love that view!

- Okay.

- Why okay?

- Okay, you can show that if you like.

- I don’t know what that mountain’s called.

- Over there is this lovely farm that we go to sometimes

because Jasmin loves animals.

They have pigs you can pet.

- Petting pigs.

- There’s our boujee vegetables that my mother grows.

- We should really make something with it.

- Tastes like nothing though.

- Are you showing the back of the garden too?

- Why not? It’s beautiful.

Go stand under the rose arch. That’ll look pretty.

This is where we gonna get married.

[Pawn C7 to C5]

- The field over there was free and it said „Rochade“.

- Put the bishop there.

- That’s a pawn.

- No, this bishop ...

- That’s a horse.

- Knight, whatever.

Then, with the bishop

you can go like this.

And as soon as he moves his pawn ...

[Knight G8 to F6]

- So I should move this bishop over there?

- Yes and he will go here.

[Knight F6 captures E4]

- No, wait!

If you go with the knight like this ...

- Then I'll be dead cause she's the queen.

- Yeah and you’ll get the queen with your bishop

and you’ll have the more powerful token.

- Wait, again. Recap.

- You attack the pawn with your knight.

The king can’t get you because he’ll be check.

He has to attack you with the queen.

[C8 captures E7]

- Oh fuck's sake.

Everything that belonged to him

is gone.

I feel a lot of pressure ...

- In what way?

- In this relationship with you because your parents get along so well.

I feel like I need to conform to that relational model.

Did you know that if horses kneel in a poppy field they die?

Because they can never get up again.

That's why I'm not proposing to you.

- Why?

- No idea. Read it somewhere.

- Because they are drunk?

Let’s quote „Blue is the warmest color“.

I have to hold you like this and then I start walking and look back over my shoulder.

- What do I do?

- You look away.

- Where?

- You’re the one I’ll cheat on later with the other one.

Kinda like this.

We just talked

about it being weak

always leaving the countryside just because you differ from the norm.

And then moving to the city where others have done the work

and you just fit right in.

Nobody ever stays here

to set an example for a different lifestyle.

- Can I have one?

- What did you buy?

- Condoms.

- Idiote.

- I swear to God.

What is that?

- I’ll go put these in a vase, they look a bit tragic.

- It actually smells so sweet.

- I don't know.

- Lee doesn’t like this.

Saying how they feel about me.

Right?

It makes them feel exposed.

- Come on. Not exposed.

- Well.

Then list a few things you like about me.

- But you know that.

- She doesn’t.

- Okay ...

I like her booty.

First class booty.

- Represent.

- I like that she farts us awake at night.

It’s pretty cute.

She’s always super disturbed when it happens.

She’s a great listener

and stuff.

- Stuff? Thanks.

I like that Lee knows who they are.

And stays true to it.

And won’t take shit.

There was a situation.

We were at the Monbijoupark in Berlin.

It’s a little dark there.

We were at a concert, I think.

I actually can't remember.

Anyway.

We were on our way home

and a couple of guys

approached us.

And they wanted to ...

- Stir shit.

- Troublemakers.

- Provoke.

- Lee went over to them

and wanted to act

and protect us, I suppose.

And then you got hit.

- It was pretty bad.

Right in the face.

- I don’t know what it was. A coke-can or something.

- Yes.

Who gets hit with a coke-can?

I was bleeding.

- But you didn’t need stitches.

- Nonetheless.

- It was crazy. You cried so hard.

Out of rage.

Sheer rage.

Not because it hurt.

That was the first time I ever saw you cry.

- Possible.

- And the last time, too.

- They're tough.

- They are.

It's hot.

- The right lane, not the junction.

And now kind of go like this.

- I wasn’t trying to attack you.

- Me neither.

- Yeah, fine.

- It's just the tone of my voice, babe.

- Can you please not leave me hanging?

- What was that now?

- I was trying to shake hands.

„Residents with parking permits“.

Could they start gendering? That annoys me.

People in carriages.

So unlikable.

- Why?

- Sorry, but what is that?

- Why are they unlikable?

- I feel bad for the horses.

- At least there are still people trying to actively engage with their surroundings.

- I can also do that walking.

- I don’t know if you can be a tuba player and not also be somewhat strange.

- That’s really prejudiced.

- Why is that prejudiced?

I literally know someone who plays the tube. How many do you know?

- I don’t know. None.

- Exactly, so psht.

Shut it.

It’s not prejudiced.

I know three tuba players

and all of them are somehow backward in regards to their world views.

Otherwise you wouldn’t play the tube. You’d play the clarinet or something.

Splishy-Splash?

- It’s really steep, guys.

- Don’t shit yourself.

- What are you saying? Don’t shit yourself?

It be like actually steep.

- Synced since 2018.

This one’s dope: "family".

"Stefan, Tanja, Sascha, Laurin", okay.

- They be poly.

- It’s just these cishet-couples.

Because only cishet-couples need to perform romance, because they don’t know any.

They can’t experience actual romance, because it is constantly exemplified.

- "Love is"

God, do you remember?

- "Babsi and Alex in Salzburg".

- Would you put one of these up with me?

- No.

Okay, let’s play a game.

Which one of these would I most and least likely wear?

- Only those in the front?

- No, all of them.

- Well, you like those in the middle the least. With the silver.

- Those over there, the sparkly ones?

- Yes.

- No. Those in the front.

Those are Karen-shoes.

- Alright, okay.

And which ones would you wear?

- Those. The silver ones.

- These?

- Mhm.

This is why I never like the presents that you give me.

["Two idiots!"]

["Are you insane?"]

How about you go fuck yourself?

["Shut up!"]

- Please don’t.

- These fucking assholes.

Stop it. Could we just...

Could we please stop now?

- Come on, let’s go through this.

Come on!

It's all gonna be okay.

- Fine.

It was always somewhat obvious

and it happened step by step, very organically.

My mother doesn’t really care.

I think she just doesn’t want any details.

And my father has this lunatic girlfriend.

Shoutout Daniela.

And for ages we’ve only been in contact sporadically.

Maybe for christmas.

He forgot every one of my birthdays for four years now.

My grandfather has been dead a while

and my grandma is a bit of a vegetable.

So I don’t think she’s too eager to know.

But as I said, I don’t really care.

To me family are the people you chose

not necessarily what you were born into.

But please, I am dead serious, this isn’t in any way tragic.

I don’t want any violins playing.

I would have turned out queer as shit anyway, that has nothing to do with this.

This isn’t resistance, this is just me.

Also, I think I wouldn’t have become this interesting.

And certainly not this hot.

- I think there is always one person who loves more.

Usually that’s me.

But I’m totally okay with that.

I had decided to stop on new year’s eve.

It’s not really about the smoking.

Lee just thinks I have an addictive personality.

It is conscious self-destruction in installments.

It’s so cold!

They’re really good. You want to try one?

Ketchup or Mayonnaise?

Ketchup.

Right?

Told you so.

- Can you take your time?

I can’t save her and she can’t save me.

I’m not sure if she gets that.

I told her:

You either get help or I’m done.

And then I really left

because I couldn't watch this anymore.

And then she actually got treatment for three months.

It was tough. We didn’t see each other during that time. Not live.

She is a very passive person

and needs to go through things by herself.

And now her eating is normal again.

*I let you off my leash.*

*To see if you’d stay. You immediately went away.*

*My gut is telling me: Something’s wrong.*

*I wanted to hold and fold you*

*and I only held you back.*

*Never again breakfast at eleven."

*Never again your cold rice with vegetables.*

*Never again shopping at denn's.*

*Never again taking empty bags to carry groceries.*

I think it’s such bullshit, that you should always work on yourself first.

Only when everything difficult has been eradicated by therapy: that’s when you get to love.

Kind of like:

The kitchen’s burning, let’s tear down the entire house.

But there’s a blanket to kill the fire in the kitchen.

And I’d rather do it locally.

Does that make any sense?

Lee brings things in me to the surface

from the very deep. I don’t know.

My life has changed drastically since we know each other.

- I think she likes you.

- Let go!

It is love.

But there is so much pain connected to it.

But I guess it’s supposed to be that way.

It’s just a little exhausting sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like:

I am not enough.

But I think that’s good because that way I know I still have to grow.

- You can try to find a hundred thousand words

to distillate a human encounter down to one specific state of being.

It just isn’t particularly anarchistic.

And then all of a sudden you find yourself in a situation thinking: Fuck.

This is not at all what I had in mind.

- My brother, Tobi, did I tell you about him?

He obviously wasn’t with us.

I went hiking with my parents.

At the Dachstein, pretty close to here.

The hike was supposed to take about five hours

and after four we wanted to take a break.

And there was a little - not a canyon,

but a little hole in the mountain.

We couldn’t see the signs anymore. The red-white-red.

And dad said: „Anyway, lets keep going, we’ll find it.“

So we kept going.

And going.

And all of a sudden my left foot started slipping.

Suddenly I was ...

If this is the floor, my one foot was up here

and the other one was stuck in a fucking crevasse.

A literal crevasse.

That’s when I thought: „Well, maybe it isn’t that safe here.“

And mom said: „Should we check the coordinates?“

But dad was like: „No, I know where to go, follow me.“

And I was like: „Okay dad, I trust you.“

We kept going

and there was ice and crevasses everywhere which logically I didn’t fall into this time.

And then we thought: „Okay, this is tricky.“

We then called the inn keeper where we were supposed to spend the night and said:

"Hey, what’s up, do you think you could save us?“

And he said: „Sure, give us the coordinates.“

And my dad gave him the American coordinates because he had Google Maps on his phone.

And the guy said: „Fine, I’ll send a rescue team.

And I was like: „Fuck the sun is leaving the place! What are we doing?"

"I’m scared, Mum, I’m freezing!“

Also I need to take a shit

and I hate taking shits in the environment, I think that’s pollution.

Anyway, we went back to the hollow ...

There was an abandoned hut ...

Like this one over there.

We wanted to break in.

And my father had a club in his hand and was just about to smash in a window

when all of a sudden we heard a loud, reverberating:

„flap, flap, flap“

Would you like the last bite?

They are really juicy, aren’t they?

Is there anything stuck in my teeth?

Can I see myself in there?

It’s so itchy.

- Stop flinching. No! Don’t blink so much.

- It’s really nice with the red and the green.

Don’t you think?

- Huh?

- It’s nice with the red and the green.

- What green?

- The color of my eyes.

- Yeah, totally.

Hello! You pulled out my earring!

- I'm sorry!

- I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.

Oh, kitty. You pulled my earring!

- I'm so sorry. Kitty!

- Would you like a drink?

- Uhm, yes, what do you have?

- Jasmin, what did you buy?

- Prosecco, or a rosé maybe?

- Oh, that sucks, I only drink beer.

I’m allergic to histamine.

- But doesn’t beer also have ...

- Babe, she’s fucking with you.

- I'm sorry.

It looks a little different.

- In here, you mean?

- Yes, last time I was here it wasn’t quite as ...

As white. Very white.

- How was it like before?

- Less white.

No.

I’ll take a cab anyway.

- Is it Susanne?

- Yes, Lee wants me to send their love.

- Hi!

Susi!

- Yes, wait. They want to talk to you.

- Hi, Susi, how are you?

- Are you allowed to?

- Allowed yes.

- Do you want me to close the door?

- Yes, close it.

So the bad smoke doesn’t get in? From my cigarette?

... every time people looked at my boobies ...

- Yes, but it was constantly.

- Yes, because you felt like they were your property.

- Because they are.

- They were! Hopefully!

- You know what I mean.

... everytime in Pinzgau ...

[dialect] "Hi guys, I’m Karli and I’d like to tell you about the cattle on my field at home ..."

- No. [bad high German] "Hello, I’m Karli and ..."

- Oh, you mean when they try to speak high German!

What?

What? I can’t hear you?

... and butterflies!

Thank you!

- Ma!

- The berries?

- These?

- Yes, exactly.

- Could you give them a rinse? Thanks.

What’s wrong?

- Nothing.

- You look so sad.

Simba!

- Kitty!

Why do people always go like „z z z“?

- Works with me too.

Little kitty!

He’s leaving.

Ah, please, that’s driving me nuts.

- What’s driving you nuts?

- Nothing.

- Okay.

- Since when do you smoke?

- Sorry!

- I always think it’s so weird when people ask: „Since when do you smoke?“ if someone has one drag.

Doesn’t make you a smoker.

- But you might be telling me this, maybe?

- Because of this one time? Come on.

- Sorry, but that’s like telling someone after one sip of alcohol ...

- After doing crack once ...

After doing crystal Mett!

- Crystal Mett.

Who doesn’t know the infamous Crystal Mettigel!

- Would you like something else to drink?

- No, honey.

Oh, maybe!

What was that?

- It's wet.

- The glass is, right?

You know how that just sounded?

- I'm inside.

As long as mommy’s gone.

Careful, mommy’s back, no?

Fuck, I keep forgetting.

- I almost pissed myself.

- Well, she’ll see all of this.

No, Jasmin, I think you are great!

You are an amazing person.

I just can’t lie.

I can’t.

No, i think you’re really great.

What’s your ...

- Would you like to dance or something?

- Where exactly?

- Well, over there. Could be fun!

- Yeah, sure, totally. Why not?

... I’m actually a really lovely person, I’m just a little drunk.

- Yeah, but do the thing with the lights, that would be cool.

- Okay, Amira, are you coming?

- Oh, now Amira has to decide. Where do I want to go?

That’s difficult.

Too bad I don’t have two cameras and get to film with two hands simultaneously.

- How do you think her pussy lips look like?

- Whose?

- Well hers.

- Samira’s?

- Amira.

- Yeah, sorry, Amira.

- The way she contemplates!

- I take this question seriously.

- It’s completely obvious.

- So, I would say small.

She's an innie.

- Yes, she is such an innie!

- You're an innie.

- You have intense innie-energy.

- But I would say

that from my point of view the right, so your left inner pussy lip

hangs out a bit. Like this.

- Oh God, yes. The accuracy!

- That would be my guess.

- Is she right?

She won’t say.

- Boring.

Dear A-Mira. Now I would like you to join the club of pussy-lip-guessers, male and female.

- And non-binary.

- I'm so sorry.

How do you think my vulva looks like?

You shut up!

Can it speak?

- No.

- To reveal the secret:

My pussy is enormous!

Amira!

Come!

Come on!

I'll do it.

- I think mom doesn't even want him to move out.

When we were younger it was always such a hassle

that nobody ever showed up to his birthday parties and we always sat there alone.

Mom, dad, Tobi and I.

So I used to call all of my friends and tell them: „Please come over."

"It’s time again.“ And they all did.

He didn’t really fully comprehend that they weren’t his friends.

But I don’t get it.

I don't get it.

He is just the fucking most caring, honest, faithful person on the planet.

I think, I just ...

Fuck this shit.

You know what?

I know it now.

In my life, I just ...

I have done a lot of things for other people’s needs in my life.

Please excuse me. This is all so pathetic.

- Will you miss us?

We’ll miss you. I think, right?

I guess it’ll feel a bit lonely. Without our stalker.

It’s weird, you’re like a cat somehow. Creeping. Barely noticeable.

Wouldn’t it be cool for the last image if you joined us?

Right?

- I think so.

- Come on screen.

She's shy!

Who would’ve thought. Come!

Amira.

- I’m curious how it will be like for you to see the material.

- Why?

- Well, it’s ...

You don’t always get that, do you?

Insight into your opposite’s psyche?

- Why, what did you tell her?

- Nothing.

- Mhm.

You spend hours together and you tell her nothing.

- You’ll see it anyway.

- Yes, but I’d like to be prepared.

- Why prepared?

- Just because.

- Why prepared?

- Come on, let Lee be.

- Let it be. She thinks I’m accusing her again.

- No, I don’t.

- No, she doesn’t.

- Amira, come on.

It’s crazy.

I’m having a major déjà-vu right now.

You look exactly like the girl I was in love with all throughout high school.

For years.

You told me about her.

- Anna.

- Yes.

It was crazy.

I ran after her like a dog

at every village fête hoping she would get drunk enough to make out.

And then she stays over at my house for the first time.

I almost died.

- I don’t think you look like her at all.

- No idea.

- Well, she’s blonde.

- You know her?

- Lee still has a picture on their Facebook account.

- We had a thing for a while.

But it was crazy. The next day she always pretended not to remember a thing.

We never talked about it. Even when she was completely sober.

She always claimed not to know.

- Was that painful?

- Nah. Was fine.

- Oh, come on. You mourned after her for at least a hundred years.

- Psht, okay?

- Come on, guys.

- What?

She’s exactly your type, isn’t she?

- Yes.

- Did you two ever hook up?

- No.

- Would you?

- I don’t know.

- Do you want to kiss her?

- What is this?

- This wasn’t really my idea, was it?

- Mhm?

- You’ve done this before, right?

- What do you mean?

- Come on.

- Jasmin and I?

- Yes.

- I don’t know what makes you think that.

- Could you please stop?

- Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?

- Yes.

- Oh, sorry. That’s a shame because I really don’t give a fuck.

Show me the footage.

- No. Sorry, I can’t.

It’s on my hard drive and my laptop’s battery’s dead.

- Ah, okay, sure. Sounds plausible.

Lol.

- Lee, if you don’t stop immediately ...

- If I don’t ... What happens then?

- If you don’t stop immediately, I’m gone.

- Then you’re gone. Oh, okay, cool and where will you go?

Are you gonna move in with Amira, or what? Lol.

Remind me how old you are, girl? 23?

- Lee, stop it.

- So happy for you. Hilarious.

You’re under my fucking roof, you don’t get to tell me what to do ...

- Please, this is your mom’s house.

- Shut up, dude.

- Don’t talk to her like that.

- You’re under my fucking roof, you don’t get to tell me shit.

- This is your mom’s house!

- Who gives a shit!

- How fucked up is this?

You come here, into my home and you send my girlfriend fucking messages?

For weeks? Send her photos of you, do you think I’m a fucking idiot?

- What makes you think that?

- Your mom. What the fuck does it matter how I know.

- This is so fucked up.

- Just so you know, Jasmin has cheated on me before.

I was told directly by the bitch she fingered on the fucking bus.

Real classy, Jassy.

I don’t have a choice other than checking if we’re still okay once in a while.

And you better don’t believe that it will be any different with you.

If sweetie doesn’t feel seen for a fucking second, she just dissolves into thin air.

- Wow.

- What?

- We said we wouldn’t talk about this!

- Oh.

- We said we wouldn’t talk about this!

- Oops.

- She promised. She fucking promised.

Okay, but then let’s leave it at that.

Let’s leave it. Really, I mean, you never trusted me anyway.

Fuck this shit.

- You guys really think you can fuck with me, huh?

Fucking say something!

Say something, defend yourself! Stop being so fucking passive all the time!

You’re such a victim.

Stay.

Please stay.

- Please, let me go.

- Come on now, stay.

- Let me go now.