Original subtitles

[GORM] You rebel scum. Once again, where is the Monkey King?

[FARMHAND] I only know what I've heard.

The Monkey King led the Boy Monk, the Pig God,

the River God and the rebels against Kimura One-Eye.

Hagfish! What does the Scroll of Knowledge say?

Where are the human rebels

who killed Kimura One-Eye?

Lord Gorm, I'm sorry. It makes no sense.

- No more lies! - I swear!

The Monkey King is with the rebels.

[FARMHAND WHIMPERING]

[HAGFISH] Where are the rebels?

[FARMHAND CONTINUES WHIMPERING]

Please! Please, don't! They are north water.

There's a rocky hit land that looks like it's been clawed from a cliff.

They call it Lion Heart Rock. [YELPS]

[SNAPS FINGERS]

[HAGFISH] General Khan must ready her armies.

On the morning of the solstice,

we march on Lion Heart Rock,

and kill the Monkey King. [GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERING]

[GORM] Take my orders to Khan.

[OWL HOOTING]

Hey, you, kid.

- Who's that ale for? - General Khan.

Give it here.

[SLURPING]

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Hey! Oi! Come on. We gotta go.

Is Monkey with you?

[DREGLON SNORING]

[TRIPITAKA] Sleep tight, Dreglon.

- Where are we going? - Lion Hard Rock.

The rebels are there, waiting for you.

We don't even have any of the scrolls.

- We don't know when Gorm's... - The rebels rose up because of you.

Not because of scrolls or Gods. You gave them hope.

They need you, Tripitaka.

[QUIVER] Who goes there?

[SOFTLY] A messenger!

Take me to General Khan immediately.

I have an urgent message from Lord Gorm.

- [QUIVER] Wait, wait, wait. - We can't leave now.

[QUIVER] Nobody's supposed to disturb Khan before breakfast!

How many times must I tell you, boy?

I want a light breeze, not a gale.

What happened to your jacket?

Sorry, General.

Oh, that was a very long pee.

- What's for breakfast? - Lady Wrathbone.

Okay. Um... So, we... [CLEARS THROAT]

We have for you today, is, a, um...

It's a little compote.

- It's with... - It's a compote

with ripe forest berries and a quenelle of...

The General asked Lady Wrathbone, not the Dish Pig.

No, I didn't.

[CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY]

[SNIFFS]

See, this little piggy knows a thing or two.

Hmm.

Bath boy! The pimples on my back aren't gonna pop themselves.

- I'm not sure they're ready yet. - Oh, they are ready.

- [SNIFFING] - [KAEDO] Ew! Ugh!

Message from Lord Gorm, who fast approaches.

For your eyes only, General.

Everybody out!

Send for my officers.

[VALET] You, too, Dish Pig.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MONKEY SIGHS] Okay.

We need to get a hold of Gorm's message.

If the demons are planning an attack, we need to know when and how.

The rebels, they gathered at Lion Heart Rock.

- How do you know that? - [KAEDO] Their families,

they're amongst the captives.

They need our strength.

[SCOFFS] I don't listen to you, titch.

Monkey's right. We must find out what's in that golden envelope.

We can't leave here until we do.

I wasn't sleepy on duty. I was poisoned by the ale.

[MAN] Drinking on duty? You'll be lucky to see another sunrise.

[DREGLON GRUNTING]

[PIGSY SIGHS] How's that dodgy scroll of creation coming along?

Sandy, that's the first thing you haven't burned.

It's been in there for hours.

There's not even a small mark.

The only way you could burn that thing is if you throw it into the sun.

- We have to destroy it. - [GASPS] We can feed it to General Khan.

She'll eat anything as long as it's served by Pigsy.

I've seen how she looks at you.

I've seen demon women give me that look before. It never ends well.

Boy, why aren't you with the other servants?

I...

Uh, he is taking pig's head stew to Captain Bolt.

Then, go. But don't let me see you back here. Otherwise... [EXCLAIMS]

Dish Pig, from now on,

General Khan wants you to serve all of her meals

- without Lady Wrathbone. - Oh.

Put every blacksmith to work getting an edge on those swords.

[WHISPERS] You ready? Go. Go.

- Chicken wings in honey, soy and sesame. - Mmm...

- Ooh. - [GROWLING SOFTLY]

Really, take your time. Chew that.

[KHAN SLURPS] Mmm...

[PIGSY] Oh, there's a... Just a little...

- sesame seed on the... - Where?

- Just on the... In the middle. - Here?

- Here? - No.

- [KHAN] No, here? - [PIGSY SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

You could just... On the other...

[KHAN] Why are you so close, Fan Boy? No time for stretching. Get back.

Give me a breeze. Up and down.

Don't flap about like a strangled swan.

- Another... Another one? - Mmm-mmm.

Guess it's been quite a while... together.

- Feel free to chew it. - [KHAN] Mmm!

And so, what stuff do you like?

I like nuts. Probably, cashews...

Who is putting the fodder into those wagons?

[DREGLON SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

No, no, no, no. I am just seeing the General.

But the General will need to be fanned.

- And I think... - Don't think.

See, I've had servants executed for less than that.

Out.

Out! Move!

Psst!

Hey, come here.

Wait. Norman...

We need to deal with Khan's valet.

- [MONKEY] Mmm-hmm. - [KAEDO] Yeah.

[TRIPITAKA SIGHS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MAN LAUGHS]

[GASPS]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[VALET GROANS SOFTLY]

[MONKEY HUMMING]

[TRIPITAKA] Pigsy...

we need that golden envelope.

It's the only way we can defeat Gorm

and get back the real scrolls.

You're about to see some things in there that you cannot unsee.

All that I ask is that you don't judge me.

And what do you have for me, chef?

General, I'm your new valet. My name is...

[KHAN] Your name is Boy.

Hmm.

Come closer, chef.

Let me see you.

First, antler of forest deer.

- Nestled on a bed of black pear puree. - [KHAN] Oh.

[PIGSY] And then, the main event. Oh, yes!

Woodland hen massaged with yellow moss

and stuffed with fried ginger root.

Ah! Yes. Where would you like to begin, General?

- [KHAN] Oh, uh... - Mmm...

Uh, all of it at once.

Rule-breaking.

[KHAN] And I want you to feed it to me.

- [PIGSY] Let's start with a little thigh. - [KHAN GIGGLES]

- [PIGSY EXCLAIMING] - [KHAN MOANING]

- [PIGSY] Uh, if I could just... - Hmm?

[PIGSY] Shall I dabble it? I'll take it for you.

Mmm.

- Mmm. Excellent. - Thank you.

- [KHAN] What's next? - [PIGSY] Uh, peas, peas, peas, peas, peas.

- Open wide. Oh! - Ow!

Try again.

- Oh. - [KHAN MOANING]

[KHAN AND PIGSY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[KHAN] That was a good one. More, please. [GIGGLES]

[TRIPITAKA GASPS] A combination.

[PIGSY] Ooh, ooh, ooh!

So sweet and tender. Mmm...

I picked them myself.

Out! Out. Everyone out.

[KHAN CONTINUES MOANING AND GIGGLING]

Oh, not you, my little pork dumpling. No, no, no.

You will stay until the very last bite.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[PIGSY GRUNTS]

[TRIPITAKA] Pigsy, you've been in there for three hours!

Please tell me you got the envelope.

- Um... - You gave the envelope back.

We need the combination to the safe.

Pigsy, everything depends on dessert.

Hello, childhood trauma.

[BOTH SNIGGERING]

- You're a childhood trauma. - Oh, come on.

Pigsy, your recipe is unreadable.

Are you sure you can't help me serve the soldiers gruel?

General Khan is too important.

[SCOFFS] You can't dangle a carrot this close to a donkey

and expect him not to take a bite.

This could be the worst thing that I've ever done.

We're almost there. We just need to find the combination

and steal Gorm's message from the safe.

[PIGSY SIGHS]

Uh, you put the celeriac in too early, you burnt off the essential oils.

Uh, put some onions and some mushrooms in to balance it.

Thank you!

Hey! My soldiers have been training all day.

So, you better be ready to serve up that stew by the barrel.

I am busy cooking for General Khan!

Well, go on, then. Chop, chop!

Or it'll be... It'll be you that is chop chop. [GRUNTS]

[SANDY] Bane of trousers. That should do it.

Oh.

[EXCLAIMS] Goody!

[PIGSY CLEARS THROAT]

- Hmm! - Ah!

[CHUCKLES] Ooh, I don't know where to start.

Ah!

Uh, praline? I made the toffee extra crunchy.

- Mmm. [GIGGLING] - Oof. Oh.

[KHAN] Mmm!

- Little more? Little more crunch? - Mmm. Yeah.

- [MOANING] - Please. Please.

Oh!

- Do I taste nuts? - [PIGSY] Hand picked.

- Uh, tell me, General. - Mmm...

Do you have a lucky number?

- Mmm. Superstitious nonsense. - Hmm.

[KHAN] I believe in armies, not luck.

[CHUCKLES] How did you know?

- It's my birthday. - [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Intuition.

But I didn't know how to decorate it,

because I didn't know how old you were.

I want to know everything about you.

- Four hundred and seventy-two. - Ah! 472.

0-4-7-2. Uh, interesting number.

You look so young.

You're not like other demon women.

Pigsy, do you want some of my birthday cake?

I mustn't...

[VASE CRASHES]

- I knew it was too good to be true. - I'm so sorry.

[GRUNTS] Guards! Guards to me, immediately!

[GUARD] General, we found this one here on the roof.

Take these three to the arena.

There's gonna be a post-dinner execution.

[DREGLON GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

- Sleeping on guard duty, Dreglon? - No, my Lord.

General Khan is trying to stop me from revealing the truth of her treason.

[CHUCKLES] Nonsense.

Khan has allied herself with the Gods.

The Monkey King relaxes in her tent.

She shares meals with the Pig God.

The General plots your downfall.

[DREGLON YELLS]

[GRUNTING]

Hold on. [GRUNTS]

Fetch my armor.

Boy!

In recognition of your culinary skills,

I'm gonna slice you with a sharp blade

instead of the blunt one you deserve.

- [GUARD FARTS] - Who was that?

[ALL GUARDS FARTING]

Ugh! [GAGS]

[GUARDS CONTINUE FARTING AND GROANING]

[GUARD] Something was wrong with that stew.

[GAGGING]

Ugh.

Lady Wrathbone, come to see your cook slave die?

Actually, I decided Pigsy's irreplaceable.

[GROANS]

Sorry.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Release the conscripts. I'll handle Khan.

Let's go, let's go, let's go. Go, go, go, go!

[GUARDS FART]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

So, when Khan is dispatched,

you're gonna need another general to command your armies.

Get a move on. I want to kill her today, not next week.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hi!

You...

- You... - Hagfish is puppetting you.

[FARTING]

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

[GUARDS GROANING]

You're spoiling my fun, Water God.

[MONKEY] Hey. Ugly!

Plenty more where that came from.

Monkey, your staff!

Thank you.

[YELLS]

[GORM GRUNTING]

[GORM LAUGHS]

[YELLS, GRUNTS]

[YELLS, FARTS] Oh, the stew!

[GORM GROANS, GRUNTS]

[MONKEY] Take that, Demon!

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS, GROANS SOFTLY]

[GASPING]

Hagfish?

Are you having a seizure or something?

No, you idiot!

I mean, yes, I was. I'm fine now. Leave me be.

- Huh? - [GASPS]

Quick, quick, quick. Go, go, go, go!

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Hey! You dying or what?

Take your stinking hands off me or I'll eat your face.

- All right, all right. - Get out!

- [GRUNTING] - Monkey! Come on!

Shame. I was looking forward to a good execution.

There will be an execution, Khan.

And you're gonna play a key role.

[PEOPLE YELLING]