Original subtitles

[HARVESTER 1] The young one has nearly passed.

And it will be time for the harvesting.

I have some last words.

[HARVESTER 1] Ah! He has some last words!

[HARVESTER 2] Ugh, I hate it when they beg.

[HARVESTER 1] I bet he cries for his mother.

Speak up, kid, before you die.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[HARVESTER YELLS]

[HARVESTERS GRUNTING]

[HARVESTER GROANS]

[QUIVER GRUNTS]

Where is the Monkey King?

[MONKEY] Sandy and Pigsy should have caught up by now.

Show me your hand.

[SIGH] You know, every minute we rest, Gorm gets further away with those scrolls.

And every step we take, we get further from Pigsy and Sandy.

[WEAPON FIRES, WHIZZES]

[GASPS]

Don't move.

[TRIPITAKA] Monkey!

Over here.

[GROANS]

[BOY] Too late, demons.

My brother and father have already been taken for the demon army.

Where are they?

Who's asking?

I'm the Monkey King, and the scourge of demons.

Just gonna move this over here.

Look, Pigsy. Mushrooms!

[PIGSY GAGS, COUGHS]

[STOMACH GRUMBLING]

It's too soon, Sandy.

I can't eat anything that's tried to eat me.

Oh. These look yummy.

[GROANS] Delicious.

But there's a reason why those berries are cold.

The bane of trousers.

The juice of just one could turn a hundred stomachs.

[SIGHS] Believe me.

How about I just handle the cooking, okay?

Those things are really poisonous, Sandy.

[MAGGOTH] You have no choice. Join the Blue Hand, or die!

Now, up.

How are we gonna save my family?

In the long run, defeating demons saves everybody.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- No sign of Pigsy and Sandy. - [MONKEY] We'll find them.

Right after I smite every last demon in this camp.

What's the point? There are many more where they came from.

- Too many to smite. - [SIGHS] Gorm has my staff.

Wait, that's your father and brother?

[WHISPERING] I've got an idea.

[SIGHS]

- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] - This is too dangerous.

[MONKEY] Gorm has the two scrolls. He's looking for three gods and a monk.

Not two farmers.

This will only work

if you can convince them that you're human.

It's easy. Watch this. [CLEARS THROAT]

Hello, there. I'm a human. Everything is hard. Help me.

[CHUCKLING]

- [BOOT THUDS] - [TRIPITAKA] These don't fit.

Use the Scroll of Creation and make some new ones.

I'm not sure. There's something wrong about the scroll.

It's meant to be written in the ancient language.

It's like Mycelia translated it or something.

It's as if that saw it made hurt me deliberately.

[MONKEY SIGHS] We're about to join an army.

That means marching, and at some point, stomping heads.

Boots are a must.

- [PIGSY GRUNTS] - [SANDY] Pigsy?

- [PANTING] - Just let me help.

Please. I'll be fine to go after Monkey and Tripitaka in the morning.

That could be a little difficult surrounded by demons.

Where is the Monkey King?

- [SANDY] Uh... - [GASPS]

[IN FOREIGN ACCENT] Don't just stand. He'll escape.

- What? - [SANDY] Quickly bind him.

- What are you doing, Sandy? - Quiet, slave.

[GRUNTS]

- [QUIVER] Get him. - [GRUNTING]

[CONTINUING IN FOREIGN ACCENT] I am...

Lady Wrathbone of Hell's Kitchen, and that is my cook slave.

I've come to, uh, offer my services to General Khan's army.

[SNIFFS]

Hmm.

Oh, man, this smells delicious. Hey! Check this out.

- Oh! Oh, no way. - [SANDY] Yes, please!

Fill yourselves with stew.

- [QUIVER] No way. - [SOLDIER] Oh, wow.

[QUIVER SLURPING] Mmm.

They're looking for Monkey and we're looking for Monkey, so...

- that'll lead us to Monkey. - Mmm. [GRUNTS]

Eat!

[SLURPING CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GRUNTING]

- Welcome to the Blue Hand. - [GRUNTS]

[MAN] Hello there!

[IN DIFFERENT TONE] I am a human.

And I have left my farm to volunteer for Lord Gorm's demon army.

[CHUCKLES]

No one volunteers.

Except us humans who love Gorm.

And want to serve him.

[DREGLON] You love Gorm?

Why?

Because he is big and ugly and...

Because, uh, he defeated the Monkey King... [CLEARS THROAT]

[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] in hand-to-hand combat.

- Well, it wasn't exactly a fair fight. - We hate the Monkey King.

Hate is a strong word.

Because he killed our parents.

- Because they asked for it! - [MAN CLEARS THROAT]

[ARMY MURMURING]

My brother means that they begged for a merciful escape

from the torture he inflicted.

Doesn't know his own strength.

[CHUCKLES]

What's your name, farm boy?

[MONKEY] Uh...

I have a normal... human name.

My name is Norm...

Norman.

My brother's name is Norman.

- And my name is... - Tinkle.

His name is Tinkle.

Who knows these two?

That's Norman and Tinkle.

Their parents were murdered by the Monkey King.

Well...

come on, then.

How's that cook slave?

Oh, he's, uh, quite... [CLEARS THROAT]

He's very keen as a flavorsome condiment whose name escapes me.

Guess what I got?

Disgusting mustache?

Uh, no.

A barrel of pickled pig's heads.

'Course you do.

[QUIVER] Know my ma?

She used to make the best pickled pig's head stew from here to hell.

You wanna know what her secret ingredient was?

[QUIVER AND PIGSY] Mushrooms.

[QUIVER CHUCKLES]

- [GAGS] - I was hoping,

well, that our cook slave here might be able to...

He would love to cook you some pig's head stew with mushrooms.

- [PIGSY MUTTERS] - [QUIVER] Ah, excellent.

- Here. - Oh.

- Hurry up or I'll split your backs! - [MAN GRUNTING]

[QUIETLY] Hey!

If you give away your identity, we're dead.

It'd be worth it, even without my staff.

[SOLDIER] Move.

- [MONKEY] You okay? - [TRIPITAKA] new boots.

They pinch a bit.

- [DREGLON] Come on. - Come on, let's go.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[WOMAN] Come on. We have to move. We have to move. Let's go.

Halt.

[KHAN] You call that an army, Dreglon?

You call your grandmother's knitting circle an army.

[CHUCKLES] My grandmother killed half the gods of Jade Mountain.

With her breath, I heard.

Two demon armies.

Khan women let their swords do the talking.

I can see Pigsy and Sandy.

It's Tripitaka and Monkey.

[QUIVER] Found something you need to see.

[KHAN GRUNTING]

Mothrax cowering in a barrel.

- I was resting my weary wings. - Where is Kimura One-Eye?

Dead, General.

What kind of demon would murder an ally in these times of war?

[MOTHRAX] Last night, we were waiting for you to arrive.

Hurry up, you two. We haven't got all night.

[SOLDIER] Yes, General.

So, who's going to get here first?

Hard to tell.

[WEAPONS FIRING AND WHIZZING]

[MOTHRAX] It was a surprise attack.

- [DISTANT SHOUTING] - Stand your ground!

I'll have the head of any man who deserts this fight.

Mothrax?

Mothrax?

[MOTHRAX] We never stood a chance against the rebels.

Come on, weaklings.

Amongst their ranks I saw the Pig God,

the River God, the Boy Monk...

and the Monkey King.

[SIGHS]

Monkey has joined the rebels.

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

Quiver! Set up camp.

[QUIVER] Move. Hurry up, hurry up. You heard the general.

You, with you.

You and you.

You two are together. You two. And you, with him.

Well?

Introduce yourself to your partner.

Tinkle.

Chou.

And now fight.

To the death.

I said fight!

- [MONKEY] Um... - No!

These people are our families.

How about I fight you?

Huh?

Norman! You're just a farmer.

He can't do this.

- [QUIVER CHUCKLES] - Every moment you don't fight...

your brother takes a beating.

- Kneel. - Norman.

[CROWD GASPS]

I said kneel.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

You will fight!

[SCREAMING]

You just got laid out by a human.

Maybe.

Quite the punch you got there, Norman.

Seems a shame to lose a soldier with an arm like yours.

- [YELLS] - [KHAN] Dreglon!

I am told that two of your recruits

had their farm attacked by the Monkey King.

I consider that useful information.

My recruits, mine to deal with.

Bring them to my tent.

No.

[DREGLON GRUNTING SOFTLY]

Just you wait, Norman.

We've walked this whole camp.

How hard can it be to position a food cart?

Hey!

I am culinary artiste.

I would hate for my stew to meet unfavorable winds.

- Mm-hmm? - [DREGLON] Hurry up, Tinkle.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

What about here?

Well, that's General Khan's personal chef.

Perfect.

[QUIVER] Well, uh...

the general's, um, volatile.

[SANDY CHUCKLES]

[SANDY CLEARS THROAT]

So am I.

Hmm?

- [QUIVER] Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

And the Monkey King and his human rebels...

when did they attack?

At the full moon.

Why'd he kill your parents?

They'd been givin' information to a demon.

[SMACKS LIPS] Kimuru One-Eye?

Which direction did they go?

- South. - [MONKEY] North.

- North. - [MONKEY] South.

North from here which is south from the farm.

[SLURPING]

Put Tinkle to work in my laundry and make Norman a door boy.

[SCOFFS]

No.

Norman and Tinkle are mine.

They're soldiers for the Blue Hand.

You dare defy me?

Oh, I dare, all right.

Servants out!

I want a private word... with Dreglon.

[SANDY] You there!

The human filth.

Come help my cook slave serve tonight's gruel.

[TRIPITAKA] Yes, my lady, of course.

[PIGSY WHISPERS] Tripitaka!

[GIGGLING] Boop.

Where is...

[BOTH CLEAR THROATS]

Where is Gorm?

I'm surrounded by every demon except for the one I want.

- [TRIPITAKA] My feet are killing me. - [GRUNTS]

[GAGS]

[TRIPITAKA] What's wrong with that scroll?

[SANDY GAGGING]

- [SANDY GROANS] - Yuck.

[DREGLON] What are you doing with my recruits?

[IN FOREIGN ACCENT] Uh, perhaps we can come to some kind of arrangement?

Gruel?

[SNIFFS]

Smells too fancy for me.

Hmm.

Come on, Norman, you've got a big night ahead.

- You're gonna fight Khan's champion... - [MOUTHING]

and prove the Blue Hand are real soldiers.

And when you lose,

every Blue Guard conscript will become a servant for my Red Guard.

[DREGLON] Come on.

You, too, boy. Let's go.

[SNIFFS] Hmm.

[BURPS] Ah, military gruel.

Just like my mother used to make.

Go throw my cook off a cliff.

- You're my new cook. - [MAN WHIMPERS]

And I expect the same standard tonight when you cook for me at the fight.

Or else...

[MIMICS MISSILE'S WHISTLE AND EXPLOSION]

[SLURPS]

[IN NORMAL TONE] I like her.

Of course you do.

[BATTLE DRUMS BEATING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MAGGOTH] All right, everybody, take your seat for the fight.

[CROWD CHEERS]

There can only be one champion. Who will be victorious?

The Red Guard or the mighty Blue Hands?

[ALL CHEERING]

Just remember you're Norman, a human.

A humble farm boy.

I've gotta win. With Blue Hand soldiers, we'll have a chance

of getting to Gorm and the scrolls.

As servants, we'll be trapped.

Then you have to fight like a human, okay?

If the demon armies realize who you are...

- [SIGHS HEAVILY] - then we'll all be killed.

But humans are useless fighters. I'm gonna look like an idiot.

Fine.

[SANDY] Remember what they said.

Don't look at her in the eye.

You don't wanna go over a cliff.

Yeah. I'm not good with heights.

Don't worry. You won't be high for very long.

[WHISTLES]

[DRUMS BEATING]

For too long, Dreglon and his upstart Blue Hand

- have defied my chain of command. - [SOLDIERS] Yeah.

But tonight, our champions will face each other.

Winner takes all.

[ALL CHEERING]

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

[CROWD CHEERING]

In the Blue corner, weighing in at half an ox,

the bare-knuckled Stony Farm mauler, Norman with the Dead Parents.

- [SCATTERED CHEERING] - [CROWD BOOING]

And in the Red corner, the Slaughterer of Harvesters,

the Ghost in the Dark,

the Blinder of Demons,

the Hunter of the Damned,

the unbeaten, unstoppable, ferocious pride of the Red Guard,

the most fearsome warrior ever to stomp the Earth...

Kaedo Zef!

[ALL CHEERING]

[DREGLON LAUGHING]

A child. You may as well call me General already.

A Blue Hand will be wiping our behinds by the end of tonight.

[RED GUARDS CHEERING]

Monkey, don't hurt him.

Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

[MAGGOTH] And now, until one of the damned should breathe no more...

- [KAEDO] This should be fun. - [DRUMS BEATING]

- [MAGGOTH] ...they will... - Fight!

[ALL CHEERING]

[QUIETLY] Hey, kid. Here's what we're gonna do.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[KAEDO] I've been wanting to fight you since,

well, before we even met.

Look, kid. There are things that you...

[CROWD LAUGHS]

[WHISPERS] Go down, go down.

No. Come here.

[GRUNTS]

- [CLATTERING] - Careful, you're spilling my condiments.

You save me some.

Yeah!

[CHUCKLES]

Human.

[GROANS] Okay. I get it.

[CROWD JEERING]

[PLAYING BATTLE MUSIC]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[GRUNTS]

Okay, okay.

[MOUTHING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SLURPING]

You'll live to see another day.

[GRUNTING]

- [GROANS] - Stay down, stay down.

[KAEDO] Yeah, Monkey. Stay down.

Not until I wipe that little smirk off your little face.

[GRUNTING]

It's been four hours in the cook's fire and there's not even a single mark.

This scroll is a decoy, but it's powerful.

[GRUNTING CONTINUES]

[BLUE HANDS CHEERING]

Okay, now we're even.

[GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

Argh!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Okay.

[CHANTING IN ANCIENT LANGUAGE]

[MONKEY GROANING AND PANTING]

[TRIPITAKA CHANTING IN ANCIENT LANGUAGE]

[MONKEY PANTING]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

He will be my body servant.

The rest of you, the Blue Hand works for me now!