Original subtitles

NARRATOR: And now, DreamWorks-- The Penguins of Madagascar.

-Gentlemen, we are a go ho ho.

-I can't believe it's here!

-All right, people.

Time to jangle the jingles and criss the cringles.

We are T minus 14 hours to Kidsmas.

-Mr. Skipper penguin, is the Kidsmas really here?

-You bet your downy derriere.

-But not till morning.

-So skedaddle those eager britches on home now.

No peeking.

-Excuse me.

Hi.

So Kidsmas, I'm confused.

This relates to Christmas how exactly?

-Kowalski, get the reptile up to speed.

-Well, Roger, every year, the Central Park Zoo

closes from Christmas Eve to the morning of December 26th.

-Also known as Boxing Day.

-We're not interested in your made up holidays, Private.

-We take advantage of this human-free environmental

to throw a mondo Christmas fiesta for the animal families

of Central Park, an event we like to call--

-Kidsmas!

-Kidsmas!

-Tomorrow morning.

You know the drill, people.

Let's open those assignment cards.

And let's go make this the best Kidsmas ever.

-Excuse us.

Royalty coming through.

-Hello.

Who do give a talking at if my job is stupid and lame?

-Lame?

Children love the gingerbread house.

-Yes.

They also love finding crusty things in their own noses.

-Mine had a kazoo.

-I am king.

I demand the most important of all the Kidsmas tasks.

-Demand denied.

Kidsmas is a well-oiled machine with years of tradition.

Mason always dresses up as Zoo Santa.

-Ho ho ho ho ho ho.

-Burt makes his famous peanut nog.

-The secret ingredient is peanuts.

-And so on, without swapping assignments the night

before the big event.

End of story.

-Oh, really?

What happened to the freedom of changing?

What happened to the right of the peoples?

I thought this was France.

-America.

-No, really.

I seriously thought this was France.

I've been looking for some decent crepes

for like three months.

-Yo, hey, the little guy's got a point.

-Yeah, I'm sick of doing the same job every year.

-Yes, the pressure of the lead role is rather brutal.

-We're on an overnight deadline, people.

There's no time to--

-Yes.

Let's mixy mix the Kidsmas.

-Hey!

-Hey, music.

That's perfect for me.

-All right!

I'm on decorations!

-[MUMBLES]

-Best committee ever.

-Smashing.

I'm the decorations.

-No way.

Me too.

Look!

-Best committee ever.

-No.

Lame.

Blah.

Double blah.

Yes, yes!

I will find the Christmasty tree!

Truly, there is no job more important than--

-Santa!

-What?

Who's playing Santa?

-You are, Skipper.

It's the last one left.

You didn't even pick, and you got

the most important job of all.

How lucky is that?

-Most important?

-Me?

Playing the Big Red himself?

-And I'm your jolly little elf.

I'm little [MUMBLES].

-Negative!

This is a holiday anarchy.

We go down this road, there won't even be a Kidsmas.

-No Kidsmas?

-Hey, you weren't supposed to hear that.

I'm just-- you know what anarchy is, don't you, kids?

We've got one night, and-- chins up, soldiers.

I've got it covered.

-We should go total rock and roll this year.

Like sledgums, and flash packs, and ski punk snowmen, or like,

what's up.

-Yeah!

-We should go completely Charles Dickens this year.

-Top hats, monacles, umimpeachable etiquette.

-Kids love etiquette.

-See?

Nothing to worry about.

It's Kidsmas.

Santa magic will take care of everything.

-Santa magic?

-It is a thrill to be on the Music Committee with you guys.

So let's warm up a little bit, shall we?

(SINGING) La la la la la la la.

[SINGING]

-Private.

86 that caterwaul.

-Curse you, Internet.

28,000 cat videos, zero useful information.

-We wish you a "meow-y" Christmas.

I'm sorry, Skipper, but it's just one party.

Do you need the real Santa magic?

-If Mr. Tub of Jolly has some sparkly, mystic secret,

I need to find it ASAP.

-Then we should ask Santa.

He'd know.

Don't get up.

I'll do it for you.

-Good thinking, young Private.

Let's slide.

-So I'm thikning the Eastern White Pine.

Or maybe you're more of a Douglas Fir guy.

That's cool.

Norway Spruce?

-Must I even louder for you, Maurice?

It is not the flavour of the tree that is the problem.

It is the not importance of it.

-I thought tree choosing was the most importantest job.

-Yeah, it was-- until the frowny flatted

penguin got the better one.

Now we must find the amazingest tree in the history of Kidsmas.

-You really think we can find a tree like that?

-Hey, this is New York City, baby, the capital of France.

If you can't find it here, you can not be finding it anywhere.

-I will find the amazing tree, King Julien.

Is this one amazing?

-Jolly old Saint Nick in sight.

Now show me your secrets, magic man.

-I don't understand, Skipper.

-Yes.

Why is the bell ringing?

And a tip jar?

That just seems crass.

-No.

I mean, I don't understand why there are two of them.

-What?

Sweet Secret Service!

He's got a body double.

There must be some primo magic he's projecting.

-Look.

They're leaving.

-Blast!

No time to ID which one is the phony.

Private, pin a tail on the Santa Bravo.

I'm on the Alpha Clause.

-Look, Sweetie.

It's Santa!

-Never mind, Mort.

Your face tried, but the glass just wanted it more.

-I'm tapped out, Your Majesty.

We've seen real trees, fake trees--

-Toilet trees!

-And you keep turning up your nose at all of them.

-Because none is amazing enough to beat the Santa penguin.

I need a tree that sits up, smacks you upon the face

and says Christmas!

-This one says it in 17 languages.

-Merry Christmas.

Feliz Navidad.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-I found it!

The amazing tree!

I know it is small and ugly.

But if somebody was nice to it and loved it,

it could grow up to be a beautiful swan.

And that is the true meaning of Chinese New Year.

-Christmas.

-What's a Christmas?

-That tree is perfect.

Now move the puny tree so I can get a good look at it.

Chopity chopity chopping.

-Oh, minty.

-Private!

I thought I put you on Santa surveillance duty.

-Oh, well, Skipper, he went in there.

-Impossible.

My Santa went in there.

Why even have a body double if you're just

going to hang out in the same room?

-About that-- isn't it a bit fishy

that Santa is just strolling about on Christmas

Eve with no reindeer or sleigh?

And he's using an elevator?

-Both fakes?

Then how are those two phony Papa Noels

tied into this mysterious disappearance?

-Wait.

Santa disappeared?

-You haven't seen him, have you?

-Well, no.

But-- you don't think--

-No.

I act with maximum force.

Initiate Takedown Protocol Foxtrot, Private.

You get the first one, I'll handle-- oh, sugar plums.

-Skipper?

-Windup Monkey Misdirect, execute!

-Cute toys.

You know where I could pick up a couple for my kid?

-OK.

I'll take the lead voice, you'll take the astonado.

The ding dongs.

[SINGING]

-(SINGING) Here come the bells, I hear the bells.

That's not the bells.

What is going on here?

Excuse me, fellas.

We're on kind of a tight schedule here, and I don't--

-So shut it, already.

We're trying to write a Kidsmas [MUMBLES].

-Hey, yo, Bing.

You got a rhyme for yellow snow?

-OK.

How about-- what?

Backing off.

-Rock and roll, Rico.

Just a few hours till daylight, and the zoo

is only halfway decorated.

-Pardon me.

I was just--

-Guys?

What are you doing?

-Our jobs, obviously.

-Decorating in 19th-century Dickensian regalia.

-Woah, woah.

OK, first, we're the decorations committee.

Second, Dickens?

Yeah.

Did you get a visit from the ghost

of Christmas Been There Done That?

-No, no.

We are the decorations committee.

And at least our ideas didn't come

from the pages of Winter Hooligan Monthly.

-Hey.

How did you know that?

-I guess we were all supposed to work together, huh?

-No problem.

We can clear your junk out in no time.

[MUMBLES]

-I say humbug to you, sir.

Humbug, humbug, humbug.

-Guys, guys, obviously there's a difference in styles here.

But come on-- it's Christmas.

There's nothing we can't fix with a little peace, love,

and togetherness.

-You know what?

I know. [MUMBLES]

-Tut tut, old bean, think nothing of it.

-OK, great.

So how do we solve this?

-Let's say elephant rules.

-OK.

What are elephant rules?

-(SINGING) Smash and stomp with Burt's great heinie.

Squash-a squash-a squash, squash squash.

Cheerio!

-Rico, my man, this otter is about to join the naughty list.

-Not the sleigh!

-Hey, not a bad charity haul this year.

-Merry Christmas, guys.

-Merry Christmas.

-Huh?

What?

-Where is Santa Claus?

-What is this, some kind of joke?

Esposito, is that you?

-Can we really have time for conspiracies, Skipper?

You promised the children the zoo would be ready for Kidsmas.

-Santa magic, Private.

We get that, and we're walking in a winter wonderland.

-Where are you anti yule radicals

holding Santa and his magic?

-Hey, seriously, where am I?

-You are on the path to Painsylvania.

Ha ha ha.

-I'm a lumberjack.

Arr, matey.

-Hey, somebody is stealing the big tree!

Not in my city, pal.

-Look at their faces!

Punch it.

-This is Chuck Charles, and my van has just been stolen along

with the city's Christmas tree.

-Chuck, without the van, we're not

really broadcasting anything.

-I know, but I am no longer able to speak in a normal voice.

-The real Santa must have escaped.

And the impostors are trying to haul him back in.

Execute Mobile Rescue Op.

-But Skipper, the zoo, Kidsmas!

-Follow the magic, Private!

Remember the winter wonderland plan.

-Uh huh.

-Oh, a plan.

Good.

What did he say?

-Pow, pow, pow!

-We are losing more plywood men by the second.

-Hold your ground!

We all knew there would be casualties.

They got Tiny Tim!

-You may strike out decorations, but you shall never

conquer the spirit of Charles Dickens.

-And his razor-brimmed top hat!

-Actually, I don't believe Dickens

had a razor-brimmed hat.

-Learn your history, chimp.

-(SINGING) Dashing through the street,

I think it's pretty neat that we scored the best Christmas tree,

hey penguins, you can't eat it.

Julien, Julien, you really are too much.

-(SINGING) It's time that thing let off

the gas and stepped on me, the clutch!

-I'm being high speed chasing!

-Quick, pull the clutch.

-Impostors dispatched.

Now let's go rescue the genuine one and only Santa.

-Santa?

-Ringtail.

-Santa!

-Tree!

-Animals!

-Confused potato!

-Abandon van.

We must save the tree!

-What in the name of good King Wentz's laws are you--

-Are you sure we're not too early?

-Welcome to our Kidsmas winter funderland.

-A'sooth, the last doth mean our Dickensian celebration of--

-Party!

-You know what?

Maybe we'll just come back on a different holiday.

-No, no, it's OK, really.

We got big fun ahead.

We got music-- and games!

We've got games!

-Who wants first go at the Santa pinata?

-Why, you call this a children's party?

We're leaving.

-Wait!

We haven't even decorated the Christmas tree yet.

-I'd like to go home now.

-Somebody want to tell me what in the Jack Frost

is going on here?

-Well, Skipper, it seems some people don't

appreciate the finer decorating arts.

-And some people are suffering from chronic boring disorder.

-And some people wrecked my completely awesome Christmasy

tree.

-You were one of those people.

-I was deliberately being vague.

-I had a vision.

-Fa la la la la, la boo hoo hoo.

Didn't I want you people?

I can't leave you alone for one night without a-- huh?

-You said this would be the best Kidsmas.

You promised.

-Aww, man.

-We-- we ruined Kidsmas.

-No.

I'm the Santa here.

This was on my watch.

What have I done?

-Well, for starters, you roughed up a dozen of my deputies

and helped wreck the world's most famous Christmas tree.

And I thought I had a busy night.

Hey, Julien.

-Sup, baby?

Here we go, [INAUDIBLE].

-Santa?

Real Santa?

Those dime store phony Clauses work for you?

-They do the charity work.

I deliver the toys.

It works out great when they're not being karate chopped

off a speeding Christmas tree.

-We're sorry, Santa.

We didn't mean to make such a mess of things.

-All I wanted was a tiny taste of that real Santa magic.

-Santa magic?

But Skipper, you had that from the beginning.

-Really?

Well, then how do I use--

-What am I, your guidance counsellor?

I got a haul toys to seven more time zones.

Trust me, you'll figure it out.

-What do you suppose he meant?

You had it from the beginning?

-The beginning-- I don't-- of course!

-Skipper?

-Santa magic coursing through veins.

Feels ginerbready.

Follow my lead, people!

And can I get some holiday music here?

-That would be perfect, except that we

haven't practised as much as we--

-Yo, absolutely.

-Santa magic says try it in G.

-(SINGING) It's Christmas day, but you're feeling low with

the cold grey skies and the yellow snow.

-Something, something, something, [MUMBLES]

-(SINGING) But I'll tell you about

one thing you've got to know.

-(SINGING) It ain't perfect, but it's Christmas.

So what if you didn't get all your Christmas wishes?

There ain't another day that's a better one than this is.

'Cause it ain't perfect, yo, but it's still Christmas.

-So Santa's got the best things that were on your list.

-And soldier, tell that frown to cease and desist.

-If you know where to look, you'll find Christmas place.

-Oh, that's pretty.

We'll sing it one more time.

Maybe you will catch the jist.

-It ain't perfect, but it's Christmas.

So if the day's--

-Had a few minor glitches?

-Just clean up the mess and help your mum with the dishes.

-'Cause kids--

-It ain't perfect, no, but it's still Christmas,

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!

Christmas!

-Ho, ho, ho.

-You really did it!

You found the Santa magic?

What was the secret?

-No secret, Private.

Big Red was right.

We had to get back to where this all started-- trying

to make some kids happy for Christmas.

-That's it?

Santa magic is just making people happy?

-Yeah.

Seems to work for that guy.

-Merry Christmas, Mr. Skipper Penguin.

-And to all a good night.

-Potato.