Original subtitles

Spanning Wales to bring you

a constant variety of Welsh things...

The thrill of victory.

The agony of defeat.

Welcome to The Wide World of Wales.

Brought to you by Aviation Gin, obviously...

TikTok, where you can follow any number

of middle-aged Welsh football team owners.

Ifor Williams...

The best [bleep] damn horse trailers you can get.

And Expedia,

where you can explore the world

and also book a vacation to Wales.

You probably want to fly into Manchester or Liverpool.

Once you're there, it's a quick a drive.

Possibly 30 to 40 minutes depending--

Rob, they know how to plan a trip.

Sorry.

Welcome to Wrexham.

Or, more specifically, Wales.

You might be a little confused right now.

Not just by Rob's decision

to look like a stand-in in a Guy Ritchie movie,

but because the last few episodes,

you've been watching a documentary

about an underdog football team from Wales

and two Hollywood movie stars.

Uh, I'm more of a TV star.

Oh! Aww.

Anyway...

TV's, like, way cooler than movies.

You know that, right? - Yeah, it is.

I mean, where have you been for, like, the last ten years?

You've been making movies. - Making movies.

Anyway, we left off with Ryan and I headed

to Wrexham for the first time,

and even though you might have gotten

a small sense of this amazing place,

we thought it only appropriate

to do a little deeper dive on Wales.

You know, my daughters, they love whales--

really any of God's little underwater creatures.

The country.

Wales the country.

That's what we're here talking about.

Um...

We suspect a lot of people out there don't really know

what Wales exactly is.

My partner certainly doesn't.

And I didn't before last year,

and we bought a football team there.

Holy [bleep].

So tonight we're going to immerse ourselves in Wales--

the country--

and what makes it different from England,

which is also a country.

Mm-hmm. Wales and its identity,

its traditions, and why it is the ultimate underdog story.

That's right, it's a very special episode

involving learning.

But don't worry. You won't learn much.

And I suspect you'll retain almost none of it.

First up tonight, we welcome John Green,

author of Turtles All the Way Down

and The Fault in Our Stars.

John, how about a crash course in Wales?

Hello, and welcome to Crash Course.

Today we're learning about Wales,

a land of majesty, dampness, and epic place names.

Let's begin with the first fact

Welsh people want you to know.

Wales is not England.

That's England, that's Scotland,

and this is Wales.

Now, the political situation here is exceptionally complex.

Wales is a country and has its own language, Welsh,

and its own parliament, the Senedd.

But at the same time, Wales is part

of a sovereign nation called the United Kingdom.

So, like, when competing in the World Cup,

Welsh athletes compete for Wales.

But in the Olympics,

Welsh athletes may compete for Great Britain.

And to understand this strange situation,

we're gonna need some history.

As early as 1,000 B.C.E.,

the Celts were living in what we now call Wales.

Centuries later, the Romans took over the region

before leaving in the early fifth century,

and by the sixth, the country was a patchwork

of independent tribes and kingdoms.

But around that time, touchstones

of what would become a unified Welsh culture

were starting to emerge.

Then in the eighth century, an English king built

a man-made earthwork,

which is like a fancy archeological term

for piles of soil and rock,

along what was becoming

the border between Wales and England.

But the English kept peering over

that tall, earthy fence--

by which I mean invading.

Wales resisted these invasions,

most famously under the leadership

of Llywelyn ap Gruffudd,

who was known as Llywelyn the Last

for a reason.

Following the English King Edward I's war

beginning in 1282, Wales lost its independence.

But it's one thing to control some land.

It's another to control people,

and over the centuries,

English kings and wards built

hundreds of castles in Wales

which served both as, like, medieval Airbnbs

and as symbols of England's power over the locals.

In fact, to this day,

Wales has more castles per square mile

than anywhere else in Europe.

Eventually, in 1400,

self-declared Prince of Wales Owain Glyndwr

led a nationwide mutiny against Henry IV's England.

That rebellion ultimately failed, though.

And a few English Henrys later,

Henry VIII's parliament formally united

Wales and England into a single political system.

All right, let's flash forward to the 19th century

when tolls were imposed on privately-owned roads

at the expense of Welsh workers.

Riots ensued,

most famously the Rebecca riots,

named after a line from Genesis

where Rebecca is promised

that her descendants will "possess the gates

of those who hate them,"

which is pretty metal.

But not as metal as Wales.

Please, God, forgive me for that pun.

Its mineral-rich landscape was mined and exported

to fuel the Industrial Revolution

which led to a major 19th-century transformation

in Wales from an agricultural economy

to an industrial one.

And as that happened, popular protests

for workers' rights persisted.

In other words, the people did eventually take

possession of the gates.

And those people,

many of them were speaking Welsh.

Today, Wales remains a part of the United Kingdom,

and so like Scotland and Northern Ireland,

it lacks some characteristics

of a truly independent nation-state.

But Wales endures,

as do celebrations of Welshness

such as Saint David's Day,

a holiday where you attend festivals, play music,

and pin a leek to your lapel.

Because, I don't know, traditions are weird

and beautiful everywhere you go.

And of course there are Welsh sports.

Welsh football has revived the protest song "Yma o Hyd"

that celebrates the endurance of the underdog.

And all of these historical developments led

to the most important event in the history of Wales,

which was, of course, when the fifth-tier

football club in Wrexham was purchased by Ryan Reynolds

and his friend who works out all the time

but still isn't as hot as Ryan Reynolds.

Thanks for watching Crash Course.

Back to you, Rob and Ryan.

Mm. Good God, I love history.

What's that? Where did you get that?

- What? - The glasses and the--

This is a lunch menu and these are fake.

I want something for my hands.

You know, I believe Wales may be older

than It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Rob.

Oh, or your self-aware winking to the camera, Ryan.

Good God, I love self-aware winking to the camera.

Next up, our good friend Maxine Hughes helps us

cook up something special.

Croeso nol, welcome back to Welsh or Else,

where we highlight the best of Welsh cooking.

Today, we're joined by the cochairmen

of the North Walian football club

the Wrexham Red Dragons,

Hollywood stars Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney.

How come I have to wear the apron

and you're not wearing one? - 'Cause you do

what you're [bleep] told, that's why.

Hey, boys?

I'm gonna take off the apron.

Well, I am so excited

to share some Welsh cooking with everyone.

You guys ready? - Ready.

- Yeah. - Excited.

Now, Maxine, you're not

just an amazing Welsh translator.

You're actually-- you're a journalist.

I'm a journalist, yeah. I live in D.C.

I've lived there for a few years.

I mostly do political journalism,

so it's a little bit different than dealing with you guys.

What does "DC" stand for?

Hmm. - I'm more of a Marvel guy.

Oh, I know. I know.

Now how many Welsh speakers

are there in the world right now?

So I'd say there's around a million,

which is a really good number

because we're a very small country,

about 3.8 million of us.

So it's-it's getting there.

And so today you're-- you're gonna teach us

a little Welsh cooking

with a side order of Welsh language.

So I thought we'd start by cooking

one of my favorite dishes.

It's a very traditional dish called lamb cawl.

Can you guys say cawl?

Cawl. - Cawl.

It means stew in Welsh.

So there's a lot of lambs in Wales, though,

if I'm not mistaken, right? That's, uh--a common...

- Yeah. Very common. - Animal.

Yeah, lamb farming is-is a big deal in Wales.

Hey, let's take a look.

Poor little Rob.

No, that's Ryan.

- That's Rob. - It's definitely Ryan.

I mean, it's a beautiful piece of lamb.

Mm. - It's probably Rob.

So there's this other dish called Welsh Cakes.

- Let's do that. - Let's make the Welsh Cakes.

- Welsh Cakes? - Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, so these are Welsh Cakes. Okay.

In Welsh, we call them picau ar y maen.

- Picara-mine? - Picar-mine.

Ar y maen. Ara-mine.

Ar-mine. Ar y maen.

They're very popular in Wales.

We eat them on Saint David's Day,

but we-we eat them all year round really.

They're like a-- they're kind of like a cross

between a pancake and a scone and--

you ready to make them? Let's do it, yeah.

Learn how to make them? Okay, great.

We're gonna learn a bit of Welsh now, okay, guys?

Sure. Okay.

So take your flour, your blawd.

We're gonna put the flour into the bowl.

Okay.

Sugar. Siwgr nesaf.

Sugar. Sugar next.

All right.

A little bit of sbeis. - Sbeis.

A little bit of spice, okay?

And then we're gonna put the fruit that you got--

the currants, the raisins-- Yeah.

All right, we're gonna put the menyn,

the butter and the lard in next.

So I'm gonna use my fork-- fforch.

Fforch? Fforch.

- Fforch? - It's a Disney show.

- We'll bleep it out. - Rob, there's an "R."

There's an "R" in it. It's a Disney show.

Fforch. Fforch.

- Get the fforch in there.

Get--all right.

All right, let's get the menyn in the bowl then.

You can use your spoon. Llwy.

Can you say llwy? Llwy.

How do you speak without--

I feel like I just spit all over the--

I--you know what? Let's just put your hands--

get your hands in there. Start mixing.

Cymysgu. Can you say cymysgu?

Cymysgu.

It looks very dry to me.

Ew, yours looks horrible.

Yeah. Let's see yours.

What happened to yours? What?

How do you say "the butter is not soft"

in Welsh?

Great.

So we're gonna need to roll this out now.

All right, just--you don't need to make--go too-too flat.

Okay, take your-- take your cutter.

It's a circle. Cylch.

Cylch.

Let's make a little-little circle.

We're gonna cook them. Coginio. Cook.

Let's put them on. Ooh. Nice.

There's a little sizzle going on.

Nice.

Okay.

Looks like a Welsh Cake to me.

Looks like--well, it smells like a Welsh Cake.

This bed is on fire with passionate love

Time to flip them.

How do you say Welsh cakes again?

Picau ar y maen.

Great. - That's a mouthful.

W-what would it sound like if you said it in a sentence?

Um, let me think of something.

Okay, um...

That's beautiful.

Sounds like--it's like poetry.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You think they're ready?

- They look pretty good.

- Barod i fwyta? - Barod.

- Ready to eat? - Take them off?

- Yeah. - Let's have a look.

All right, they look pretty good.

This one's yours, Ryan.

Just--let's keep Rob's separate.

I'm gonna put siwgr-- siwgr on the top.

Siwgr. Yeah.

How do you say "terrible" in Welsh?

Ofnadwy.

- Ofnadwy. - How do you say "idiot"

in Welsh? - Eh, twmffat.

Twmffat.

- I'm gonna try one of these. And how do you say

both terrible--let's say, what would "terrible"

and "idiot" sound like in a sentence together?

Um, okay, a sentence. Um...

You're having a mid-life crisis?

You play hockey?

This is Sports Center.

Tonight on Sports Center,

can the Wrexham Red Dragons

shake off their losing streak?

We look at a few pictures when Ryan and I played sports

and make smart remarks about them.

And we count down the top plays

of the year so far.

Welcome to the big show, everybody.

I'm Rob McElhenney,

currently fulfilling a boyhood dream

of calling an episode of Sports Center.

And I'm Ryan Reynolds, fulfilling a boyhood dream

of wearing a suit to work and sitting at a desk.

This is still Sports Center.

Welcome to...

Sports Center. - Yeah.

Since our takeover and infusion of talent,

the Red Dragons have, quite frankly, struggled.

Yeah, we sit in seventh place,

losing to teams that we should be winning against.

This isn't really going exactly the way we--

No, we're financially bleeding to death...

- Yeah. - From self-inflicted stupidity

and an unsound business plan. - Yeah.

And for those of you who are not

in the world of sports, uh, you're supposed to win.

It's helpful. We sit in seventh place,

while Stockport seems like

the team to beat in the national league.

Let's take a look at Wrexham's first match against Stockport.

We go to Edgeley Park where the place is hoppin'--

and also the players.

In the first minute,

Stockport County have a throw-in

which results in a decent chance on goal

but is easily saved by Rob Lainton

who then boots it upfield to a sprinting Paul Mullin

who does exactly what Paul Mullin does--

put one in the back of the net.

The Wrexham fans who traveled to see the game

are super excited and I'm sure 100% sober.

23 minutes later, McAlinden feeds

an amazing ball to Mullin who switches feet

for a great chance on goal.

Up 1-0 at the half. God, we look great.

Got this one in the bag, right, Rob?

Wrong!

Because we [bleep] lose this one, Ryan.

Yeah, the guy goes to the corner, he throws it,

and then this [bleep] guy... Oh, got it.

hits it in with his head. They score.

[bleep] that guy. So, yeah, this is--

this is great. Yep. Yep. It's great.

Great like a mule kick to the testicles.

Also, spoiler alert, I guess--

I-I don't care. I don't care.

Because I'm the anchor and I can do

whatever I want.

And then with ten minutes left to go,

this [bleep] guy comes up the left side.

He kicks over to this guy on the right.

Oh, this is the worst!

Oh, you're [bleep] kidding me. Shoots and carries off,

like, five of our guys and they [bleep] kick it in.

Oh, it hurts so bad. And then the game's over

'cause they win. Yep. Goal.

We just keep on losing.

So [bleep] good at losing.

God, we're the best.

But just because the Dragons aren't playing

up to their full potential quite yet doesn't mean

there haven't been some fantastic plays.

Indeed. It's been a team effort.

And we've compiled our list of top ten plays

of the year so far.

Number ten, Mr. Paul Mullin lifts one up

from the top of the box.

Man, he makes it look easy.

Number nine, Cam Green with a nifty

left-footed treat.

Number eight,

Dior Angus with the quick reflexes.

Nice job, Dior.

Number seven,

Paul Mullin blasts one home from the penalty box.

He's taking his ball and going home.

Number six,

David Jones, from a million miles away,

blasts a screamer past the goalie.

Number five, Paul Mullin using that head.

Speaking of heads,

Jordan Davies' head was in the right place

at the right time and he used it as well.

In at number three,

Paul Mullin bends like a Spice Girl's husband

and then does a little trash-talking.

Number two,

just in case you thought it was the Glory Boys

that get the glory, Rob Lainton makes

the save of the season.

Then he has a couple of choice words

for his opponent.

It's a family show, Rob.

And number one,

Paul Mullin once again using that head.

You know, so often, Sports Center focuses

on professional sports.

But a lot of us stop playing sports competitively

much younger.

So with the help of Rob's dad,

I've unearthed some footage of Rob playing sports

when he was just a child.

I think you can see where this is going, Rob.

- Abject humiliation. - Absolutely.

Let's go to Philadelphia in the 1990s.

Okay, Rob's the little one in case you didn't know.

Okay, can we just address this right now?

I am not small.

It's just that you're abnormally large,

and I'm constantly standing next to you in this show.

Well, what about Humphrey?

Humphrey? Humphrey is a giant.

You can't compare me to Humphrey.

He's--okay, you know what? I look normal on the show.

You guys are the ones that look

like oversized goons.

Look at some of my other shows

where I'm standing next to normal-sized people.

You see? So it's all relative.

But enough about me, Ryan.

Let's talk about you and your past.

Because I spoke with your mom.

And I actually unearthed some photos

of your old playing days.

And I thought we would all enjoy them together.

Oh. Thank you, Mom.

Let's take a look.

And here is you playing goalie

in what looks like the worst soccer field

I have ever seen.

It wasn't so bad.

It was 80% gravel and 20% broken glass,

which made you appreciate the gravel.

Who's taking that picture, Ryan?

My dad, actually. If you zoom in,

you could see me looking for his approval.

Uh, still looking for it.

That one is so sad I'm just gonna let it go.

Tomorrow night, a hard-hitting 30 for 30

investigating whatever happened to the Wrexham Robin,

beloved mascot for decades

until it mysteriously disappeared in 2013

only to be replaced by a much more dynamic,

focus-group friendly dragon.

I heard kids love dragons.

You gotta love that merch. Good night, everyone.

Yeah, uh, oh--no, there's a whole other segment.

What?

There's a whole other segment, so--

Can you handle it? No!

I can't do it alone-- it's a two-person gig.

Oh, God, the whining.

You belong in Bristol, Connecticut.

Oh, lovely.

Wow. Welcome to Wales Late Night,

the only late-night talk show that counts sheep

as an important part of their demographic.

- That was terrible. - Horrible.

Tonight we are going to welcome

a very special Welsh guest,

but first we're going to walk over while music plays

because I believe that's how these things are done.

Yes, let's walk over.

Oh? - Uh--

Who gets the chair? We didn't, um--

Probably should have talked about this before we...

- Yeah. - Walked out

'cause the people are waiting--

You want to Welsh Rochambeau for it?

What's a Welsh Rochambeau?

"What's a Welsh Rochambeau?"

What an idiot.

I see you've heard of Welsh Rochambeau.

Well, I feel more well-informed.

Ryan, how about you?

I feel like I have a black belt in Wales, Rob.

No show about Wales would be complete

without some singing.

Wales is known as the land of song.

To close our show, please welcome

Welsh legend Charlotte Church.

Hello. Hello.

How are you doing? How are you? Come on.

Good to see you.

Hey. Hi, Rob. How are you?

- All right, how are you? - Ah, marvelous.

Welcome to Welcome to Wrexham.

- Thank you. - That's fun to say.

Welcome to Welcome to Wrexham.

That's what I'm supposed to say 'cause I'm the host.

Sorry, yeah, I'm the-- I'm the Ed McMahon here.

Yeah. - Thank you for flying in

for this. We are--we're so grateful.

Oh, my gosh. It is such a pleasure.

What part of Wales are you from?

I'm from Cardiff. I'm from South Wales.

When was the first time you remember

where you're like, "I-I can sing.

But not just sing. Like, I can sing..."

- "For real."

It was when I was about three.

And I'd come home from nursery and I would know

every word to every song on the radio.

I think when I realized was

when I started getting attention for it, I suppose.

- Uh-huh. - When I was about--

Ryan doesn't know anything about that.

No, no, I don't know anything--

well, my children only sing "Baby Shark."

And it's--the attention is pure negativity.

Like, it's just--I-I--yeah. It's terrible.

My wife Blake did a movie where she's--

called The Shallows where she's being attacked

by a shark. - Oh, gosh.

I was just like, "Yeah, you really like

"'Baby Shark'?

How do you like that?" Oh, no!

Oh, no, you didn't! No, you didn't.

Maybe... no, I wouldn't do that.

You got three little girls, do you?

- Yeah, yeah. - Aww, lush.

I've got two big ones, 13 and 14,

and a little one. - Whoa!

Would you do us the honor

of singing us a song?

I would absolutely love to sing for you guys.

And I want to sing for you guys as a thank you

on behalf of everybody in Wales, so--

We are having the time of our lives.

Truly. We're having--

it's been incredible, and for as much fun

as we've been having-- and we've been laughing

and doing all sorts of these kinds of things,

and it's just, like, super fun--

but the warmth that we've felt

and the embrace that we've felt from the entire nation,

let alone the town of Wrexham, has just been overwhelming.

Yeah. It seems to me

that everyone from Wrexham,

and particularly everyone from Wales,

is an ambassador of Wales.

Yeah, totally.

Like, there's a pride that is unshakeable.

Yeah, totally. And I think

it's really wonderful.

Charlotte, so what will you be singing today?

Today I'm gonna sing for you

a Welsh classic, "Men of Harlech,"

which I believe is very popular at...

Huge.

Wrexham Football Club.

So here we go.

- Yes. - "Men of Harlech."

From the rocks rebounding

Let the war cry sounding

Summon all at Cambria's call

The haughty foe surrounding

Men of Harlech, on to glory

See your banner famed in story

Wave these burning words before ye

Cymru fo am byth