All language subtitles for 2x06.EN

Morning, Ma.
Working on the crossword puzzle?

Nope. Just lining up a few dates.

Let's see. Maria Malanero,
85, died of natural causes,

survived by her husband Tony Malanero.

You're getting dates
out of the obituaries? That's sick.

It is not sick. It's practical.
Life is for the living.

Maria's loss is my date
for the Early Bird Special.

Dorothy, this is unbelievable.

Look at this.

Heart surgeon turns out to be
produce manager at A&P.

Further over.

Miami retailers to sponsor
songwriting contest?

The Miami retailers
are awarding $10,000

to the person who comes up with
the best new song about Miami.

- $10,000?
- That's right. I'm gonna enter.

You?

I have written songs before. I wrote
the fight song for our high school.

Onward, St Olaf. They still sing it.

Onward, St Olaf

Onward we go

Onward and onward St Olaf's go

Go, go, go

Go, go, go, go, go...

Rose, Rose, I tell you...

Honey, it's a catchy tune,
but who wrote those lyrics?

I did.
Lyrics aren't even my strong point.

I just got lucky that one time.

You're going to have to get a lot
luckier than that to win that $10,000.

Rose, I have to confess,

I dabbled a little in poetry-writing
in high school.

That's nothing to be ashamed of.

A lot of tall girls who couldn't get
dates wrote poetry in high school.

No, I meant that for $10,000

I might try my hand at lyric-writing.

I mean, maybe we could team up.

You mean, music by Rose Nylund
and lyrics by Dorothy Zbornak?

Why not? We could be
the next Rodgers and Hammerstein.

The next Simon and Garfunkel.
The next...

Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop.

I don't know if I could get
my hand that far up your dress.

But for $10,000,
I'd be willing to give it a try.

- Good morning.
- Hi, Blanche.

Dorothy and I have decided to enter
a songwriting contest together.

Now, that sounds like fun.

I always wanted to write a song.

It's like writing poetry,
which I was never any good at.

Only the tall girls
who couldn't get dates wrote poetry.

Hello? Hello, Big Daddy.

No, no, no, she's right here.

Yeah, you take care, too.

Bye-bye, Big.

Big Daddy. How in the world are you?

I'm just fine.

How can you say I look younger
and more beautiful over the telephone?

No, it's true. I just wondered
how you knew over the telephone.

You're kidding. That's great.

I'll see you Friday at four.
Bye-bye.

How exciting.
Big Daddy's going to be here on Friday.

He has a surprise for me.
I can't wait to see what it is.

Tony Malanero won't go out with me
Friday night.

Ma, I'm not surprised. His wife just
died. The man is still in mourning.

That's not the reason.
May Bloomfield beat me to him.

Did you get a chance to play around
with those lyrics I gave you?

Yeah. Listen to this.

That sounds great.

Let's take it from the top.

"From the top."
That sounds so musical.

Tickle the ivories, Rose.

Rose, play or die.

Miami is nice

So I'll say it twice

Miami is nice, Miami is nice

Miami is n...

Wait a minute. Wait.
You put in an extra "Miami is nice."

I had to, for the music's sake.

But the lyrics don't make any sense.
It goes,

Miami is nice

So I'll say it twice

I see your point.

What about this?

Miami is nice

So I'll say it thrice

- Who the hell says "thrice"?
- It's a word.

So is "intrauterine".

But it does not belong in a song.

Miami, you're cuter than

An intrauterine...

Here. Rose, Dorothy, here, smell me.

I only do that with the milk, Blanche.

This is the last drop of that perfume
Big Daddy gave me on my 21 st.

That was 20 years ago.

Blanche. If your 21 st birthday
was then, you'd only be 41.

- That's right.
- You look terrible for your age.

- Howdy, Dorothy.
- Mr Hollingsworth.

- Come in.
- Rose.

Big Daddy, let me look at you.

Let me look at you.

You're still as pretty as a ladybug

sunning itself on a lily pad

on a misty spring day
south of Savannah.

Could you be more specific,
Big Daddy?

Do my eyes deceive me

or do I see Sophia Petrillo
standing before me?

Or did you all get Sophia Loren
as the new roommate?

Get out the boots. He's back.

Come on. Sit down here
on the sofa betwixt us.

- "Betwixt"?
- Another word you don't know.

You don't even know the thrice of them
were sitting on the couch together.

Big Daddy, what's this surprise?
Tell me, tell me before I burst.

I don't know how you'll take this.
Here goes.

There's a ladyfriend I've been spending
a lot of time with recently.

- Do I know her?
- I don't think so.

Helen and Rooney McCoy introduced me

to widow Spencer at their son's wedding
a few months ago.

- I'd like to meet her sometime.
- She's coming tomorrow evening.

Just exactly what is this surprise,
Daddy?

Don't get too excited, but we're
planning on walking down the aisle.

Is she happy or sad?

I'm not sure.
She's never made that sound before.

I once heard her make that sound.
She was happy.

Daddy, I have never been happier
in my entire life.

I'm glad.
I was worried how you'd react.

Nobody can ever replace Momma
in my heart,

but the important thing
is for you to be happy.

- I wish you all the best.
- I hope you two will be happy.

I'll throw you and the widow Spencer
the best wedding ever.

We hate fuss. We're getting married
in the Bahamas.

No, a Hollingsworth
has to get married in style.

I don't want to impose.

No, let's have the wedding here.

We'll even write a song
for the occasion.

No, we won't, Rose.

- Daddy, please.
- All right.

I never could say no to you.

Hello?

That's too bad.

A tragedy.

A terrible tragedy.
May she rest in peace.

Great news.
Theresa Lombardi passed away.

Ma, what's so great about that?

Her husband Freddy,
he has nothing to do,

and neither of us
has seen Ruthless People.

Do you have a minute? We've been up
all night working on a song.

I think we might've hit on something.

M-l-A, another M-I

M-l-A-M-I spells "Miami Beach"

Girls.

It stirs emotion

Girls.

It's by the ocean

Girls.

So bring your suntan...

- Girls.
- What?

M-l-A-M-I
don't spell "Miami Beach".

That spells "Miami".

- I told you not to add "Beach".
- Fine, fine.

You find something
to rhyme with "Miami", hotshot.

Mammy! Whammy, clammy, Alabamy,
hootenanny, salami.

"Hootenanny" is marginal,
and I refuse to accept "salami".

I have to go put up some coffee.

I'm expecting that lady
from the caterer's.

I don't want to be a bad hostess.

"Salami", please.

I never had this trouble
when I worked alone.

When you worked alone,

you could only rhyme "go" with "go".

- Hello.
- Please come in.

You must be from the catering company.

Actually, I'm from Atlanta.
I'm Margaret Spencer.

What a coincidence.
Blanche's father is marrying

a Margaret Spencer from Atlanta.

Only she's much older.

I think.

What do you think, Dorothy?

I'm just getting so excited
about Big Daddy's wedding.

- Hello. I'm Blanche Devereaux.
- Blanche, this is...

I'd like you to meet...

Say hello to Big Mommy.

I'm sorry I'm so early.
Traffic wasn't what I expected.

The important thing is,
you got here safely.

It's so good to finally meet you,
Blanche.

Your father's told me
so much about you.

- I wish I could say the same.
- Margaret, please, sit down.

We ought to get her a booster seat.

- Can I get you a drink?
- Chocolate milk?

So, Margaret, you're from Atlanta.

That's right.

That child is trying to steal
my Daddy away.

She's no better than a tick
on a slow-moving dog.

Why is everyone around here
talking like Burl Ives?

I'll get it.

Lovely city. Have they rebuilt it since
it burned down in Gone With The Wind?

Big Daddy. I'm glad you're here.

I see you're getting acquainted.
Hi, darling.

We need to talk.

Rose, let's show Margaret
how you make the hose dance around

when you turn it on full blast.

You said I couldn't do that anymore.

Today's a special day.

She makes it all twirl around.
It's such fun.

What do you think of Maggie?

- Does it matter?
- Of course it does.

All right, then. I'll be frank.

- She's a gold-diggin' hussy.
- You watch your tongue, missy.

That woman is too young for you.

She's practically my age.

I'm not ashamed
to love a younger woman.

- Why keep it a secret?
- I didn't.

I didn't think age mattered to you.

Daddy, this is wrong.
You're just making a fool of yourself.

As long as the Good Lord
keeps me on this earth, I'm your father.

Don't you ever call me a fool.

Daddy, just please call off
this wedding.

Once, in grade school,
I crossed a rutabaga and a potato,

but I couldn't decide whether to
call it a "rutatato" or a "potatobaga".

Yeah, you'll have to excuse Rose.

That hose dance brings up
a lot of childhood memories.

Can I please speak to you in private?

Blanche, this conversation is over.

Margaret, we're leaving.

Daddy.

She's not for you. You're just dragging
our family name through the mud.

Blanche, I've always given you
my love and respect.

If you can't give a little back,
you're no longer a part of our family.

We're doing great.
The song will be fine.

We just need a rhyme for "orange".

What rhymes with "orange"?

- Cheesecake?
- "Orange cheesecake".

"Orange cheesecake".
I suppose that could work.

I meant to eat, Rose.

- Why are you not at the piano?
- We're blocked.

I've been having good luck with Tank,
immediately followed by a granola bar.

- How are you doing?
- I feel terrible. I'm a wreck.

All I can think about
is Big Daddy and that woman.

Cut me some cheesecake. Bigger.

Why are you getting so upset?

You see older men with younger women
all the time. It's very common.

Look at John Derek and Ursula Andress.

John Derek and Linda Evans.

John Derek and Bo Derek.

You know, maybe it's not so common.
Maybe it's just one guy.

If older men knew how ridiculous
they look with younger women,

- they wouldn't do it.
- They don't see it that way.

In a restaurant the other night,

a man of 60 walked in wearing four gold
chains and his shirt open to his navel.

I thought people were staring
at the scars to his bypass surgery.

They were staring
at the 22-year-old blonde on his arm.

Honey, he was not embarrassed,
he was proud.

Maybe he was out
with the woman he loved.

Please, Rose.
There was a 40-year age difference.

What could they possibly
have in common?

Girls,
love has no definition, no boundaries.

Age has nothing to do with it.

Sometimes two people
who seem to have the least in common

turn out to be the most in love.

That was the case with
OIlie Stettlenmeier and Molly-Jane Doe.

OIlie and Molly?

Must we take yet another trip
to Petticoat Junction?

OIlie was the mayor and our town's
most respected citizen.

He was also Artistic Director
at the St Olaf Community Playhouse.

A lot of people don't know this,

but the family drama Hey, That's
My Tractor started right there.

Wasn't the musical version
called Hey, Hey, That's My Tractor?

Anyway, during the auditions,

the first woman who walked through
that door

was Molly-Jane Doe,
the town manicurist.

For five extra dollars,
she'd buff more than your nails.

Five dollars?

It was during the Depression.

In Italy, for five dollars
you got a woman, a manicure,

a cappuccino
and a box of cookies for your wife.

- A fact. Use it as you wish.
- It was love at first sight.

Nobody in town
could believe that this man,

who'd lived for 52 years
with his mother,

would fall head over heels in love
with the town squeeze.

But he did.
And the next day they were married

and they went on to live
happily together for 25 years.

What has this to do with my father?

Because nobody knows
why two people fall in love,

and it's really nobody's business.

He's my father. It is my business.

I'll give those two a piece of my mind.

If you go over there angry,
you'll make things worse.

I'm sorry,
but I have to say what I feel.

"I have to say what I feel."

I have to say what I feel

Miami has so much appeal

A great place to get a seafood meal

Miami.

- Simon?
- Yes, Garfunkel?

- To the eighty-eights.
- Yes.

Yes?

Yes, just give us
something on the beach.

We'll be there on our honeymoon.

Come on in, sweetheart, door's open.

Yes, just a sea view
and plenty of privacy.

- Isn't that right, darling?
- No, Daddy, it isn't.

Excuse me. I'll call you back.

I'm not sure I want to see you.
I reckon you spoke your piece already.

I've been thinking,
and I think I've started to understand

the reasons you're doing
what you're doing. Can I talk to you?

Daddy,

when a man reaches your age,

he wonders who's going to be there
to take care of him.

Yes.

And he might even start looking
for somebody to replace his first wife.

- He might.
- He might even look for ways

to feel a little bit younger.

He certainly might.

But, Daddy,
is that reason to get married?

Just 'cause some pretty, sexy, bouncing,
bubbly young thing

takes an interest in you?

Hell, yes.

But there's another reason.

Blanche, when you spend six months

watching the person you love
more than anybody else slowly die,

you wonder if you'll ever love again.

After that, believe me, if you can
even think of marrying someone else,

there's only one reason.
You're in love.

I know Momma's dying
hurt you quite a bit.

Yes, it did.
But I'm talking about Margaret.

Her husband died two years ago,
shortly after your momma.

- I didn't know.
- She loves me

and I love her
and we want to get married.

Sorry, Daddy. I'm trying to help you
and it turns out you don't need me.

No, that's not true.

The reason we came down here
in the first place

is because we do need you

and your blessing on our marriage.

I'm sorry.

It's all right. I was just leaving.

I want to say something to you first.

What is it, Blanche?

Looks like you and I have
more in common than we thought.

We both love Big Daddy
and want him to be happy,

so welcome to the family.

Sophia, here's a postcard
from Big Daddy and Margaret.

They're having the time
of their life in the Bahamas.

Please. The big news is,
he lived through the wedding night.

People in their seventies and eighties
can have great sex.

Yeah, with people
in their seventies and eighties.

Put me in a bedroom with Tom Cruise
and you'd be peeling me off the ceiling.

According to Big Daddy, he still has
both his feet on the ground.

I gotta say, you handled it better
than I thought you would.

I'm not thrilled,
but as long as they're in love

and I don't have to call her Mommy,
I can live with it.

How did you do?

- We came in second.
- Terrific. What did you get?

Treated badly.

They told us to get out of the way
when they took the winner's picture.

Photos and judges.
I'd love to hear your song.

- Forget it, Blanche.
- The experience was painful.

- Please.
- We want to forget it.

- Please.
- Hit it, Rose.

I have to say what I feel

Miami has so much appeal

A great place
to get a seafood meal

Miami

Miami, Miami

You've got style

Blue skies, sunshine

White sand by the mile

When you live in this town

Each day is sublime

The coldest of winters

Are warm and divine

Miami, Miami

You've got style

Blue skies, sunshine

White sand by the mile

There's more clubs and nightclubs

All within reach

Dance the samba till morning

Then lie on the beach

Each view is a postcard

Each day a great time

The cream of the crop

It's the top of the line

Miami, Miami

You've got style

Blue skies, sunshine

White sand by the mile

Miami

You've got style.