Original subtitles

You're fired, Salamander.

What is Hellfjord?

Kristoffer Wegelius Tangstad.

Just call me Kobba.

Johanne. The journalist.

The fishery Hellfish.

Run by a Swede named Bosse Nova.

Very nice bloke.

Salmander? Come to the fishery.

Things are not as they seem.

Hello? Helgi Gulfasson?

No... It's Life In The Wild magazine.

No thanks. Here's a 3 month subscription offer.

What?

No. Order now and get a fanny pack.

Fanny pack? Yes, a 3 month subscription...

No thanks. ...and get 7 issues...

Kobba.

Do the crime scene photos, and...

put the corpse in cold storage. OK?

Riina, take photos and put the corpse in cold storage.

Southerners puke.

Southerner.

I've got no problems with corpses or the sea.

No, if you say so. Celeb.

Stop calling me that.

So cute when you're modest.

Get moving, we're working!

Yes, it is...

Hi, hi. It's such a sad day today.

He... He was a very good worker.

-Yes. -It's always sad.

Do you know who murdered him?

Nobody's said that he's been mur... murdered.

-Could have been an accident. Or what? -Sure. Absolutely.

I just thought if he was murdered by cancer,

or... heart attack.

I mean, no matter how one dies, one is murdered by something.

Where were you yesterday? See anything suspicious?

Yeah, sure... no, no. Yes, I was at home.

Home?

I was at home, watched hockey, had 3 4... 4 pops (beers).

-4 poops? -Yes.

That's very specific.

It's like this.

Our employees work hard from 6 a.m. until 5 p.m

then get home at 6 p.m

and... nobody's here at night.

6 p.m.

Say, Bosse...

Can you give me the tour of this place? Or what?

Sure, absolutely. Of course, I can...

I can give you a gaydedtour.

-No thanks. The regular tour is just fine. -OK.

Last man in is a rotten herring!

Bosse?

Yes! 1 0 to me.

Welcome to Hellfish, home to 45 happy workers. Sorry, 44.

Most work in the fish cleaning room.

Fish enter the production line.

Here we clean, penetrate and we fillet.

Etc you know what I mean.

Here we toss them don to storage.

It's then packed and shipped out to sea.

Looking good. Everyone's at work?

-Even if a colleague died last night? -Yes, sure.

What was the name of the deceased?

-Helgi. -Helgi...

Helgi would have wanted that.

So today we work in his spirit.

Yes. That's a nasty habit, isn't it?

Nicotine.

Trying to quit smoking.

-Why? -It's a nasty habit.

OK. Should we move on?

Great work!

So, heres my employees' dressing room, and...

No, I do not have a hidden camera here.

This is the locker of...

The name of the deceased?

-Helgi. -Helgi. Right.

Yes, he was a goddamned... nice bloke.

The whole thing smells of green soap.

Right, sure. Helga was very hygienic...

-Helgi. -Helgi, sure. Right.

Want to see something else? Cupboards.

One moment.

Shall we...?

-Go on? -No, I think I'm satisfied.

THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK. "All is a shambles with no connection.

I doubt my outpourings will be of interest to anyone.

An Ugly Duckling's Confessions will be this work's title."

Funny little book.

A bit boring when she's in the attic.

-Heard anything about the dead guy? -No.

I've just written "green soap".

One thing's for sure. Something's fishy at the fishery.

-Can I offer you a fish popsicle? -Sure.

That's how good it was. Give the dog the rest.

-That was really good. -Shoo!

Don't stand so close, he's eating.

Have you read today's paper?

No.

HORSE KILLER NEW SHERIFF

Fuck.

Celeb.

Two sides to every story.

No.

It just says Sakariassen bought a new tractor.

Yes.

Take me to the cold storage. I want to see the corpse.

Well, this isn't quite...

according to the... rule book?

Still some puke on him.

OK, lets begin.

-Must you do that now? -Yes, I like to multitask.

Fine.

Yes.

The deceased is from Iceland. His name is Helgi Gulfasson.

Helgi here...

died from asphyxiation.

Most likely a cellphone crammed do.n his throat.

Something under his nails. Riina.

I can light up his head. See if I find anything.

Satan, he caught fire.

What do you want for dinner?

Taco sounds good.

Have you slept well?

No.

Me too.

Can I get another place to sleep?

Can't sleep here. Too much sunlight seeping in. Gives me nightmares.

My little friend...

Can't you sleep?

Oh dear, my heart aches when I hear that.

We'll find something for you.

I'm saying we will find something.

Don't worry about that.

We want our new sheriff to be happy here in Hellfjord.

Good.

I know about a place.

Yes.

Here lives Auntie Cozy.

Hm?

Auntie?

Auntie Cozy... Are you deaf, or what?

-Auntie Cozy? -Yes.

Strange name.

She has an apartment, yes, a little space she rents out.

-Nice? -No.

Looks like Satan chewed her up and spit her out.

Fucking cunt.

I meant the apartment.

Is the apartment nice?

Hello?

Hello?

Salmander?

Hello?

Auntie Cozy?

Auntie?

Hi.

Use your hearing aid. I've pneumonia from screaming.

No, stop kidding, Kobba.

Did you bring the 30 dollars you borrowed last week?

-A birthday present, you ass monster. -Oh! Yeah, sure.

It bears interest.

And who's this licorice lolly?

I just told you on the phone. He's renting a room here.

-Satan's senile beast. -Oh, thank you, yes.

I can't fucking stay here.

-Hi. -Hi.

Nesbit Salmander, acting sheriff in Hellfjord.

Oh yeah. Well, that's nice.

Oh, what big hands you have.

Welcome to Auntie Cozy.

Perhaps you can show me the bedroom?

-Yes, I can do that. -Good.

Does it look OK?

This looks very nice.

No, no. I mean...

Does it look OK?

Oops! How the time flies.

I'm off to the post office.

-Closing soon. -Yes.

Very nice room. Thank you. Bye.

Solvik County Prison.

HORSE KILLER

They're making animal noises all the time. Horse sounds.

No, it's always like this at the post office.

Bye.

-To Oslo. -Sure.

That's 6 dollars.

Thank you...

That's enough.

Is this funny?

Hey! This is funny?

Fun to laugh at my horse? Gunnar?

I loved Gunnar.

Gunnar... was my friend, my...

friend.

For ten years I rode Gunnar.

Ten years!

Wipe that ugly smirk off your mug, you fucking pirate.

Yes.

No, wed better trot along.

I really loved that horse.

Shut up about the horse, you're not a 14 year old girl.

-Hi. -Look here.

Miss "I'm great at writing bullshit stories about others"-journalist.

-Bullshit? -"Police horse killer in Hellfjord."

-The desk makes the headline. -The desk, sure. The desk decides.

The desk picked those ugly clothes, too? And that TV host hairdo?

It's exactly the same story that was in all the other newspapers.

-And on the radio. And TV. -What do you want?

I ran the dead guys phone records with the company's servers.

Any retarded 5 year old can do that.

80% of his conversations were to Solvik county prison.

Pardon?

Was that Solvik county prison?

What do you mean?

Got a name?

No, all inmates share a common phone, so that wasn't possible.

Does the desk know about this?

The desk knows nothing. Only you and I know.

Salmander, I've got an idea.

What if we help each other, and I don't write anything until the case is solved?

But can I trust you?

I'm a journalist. If not me, then who can you trust?

That was a joke. I liked it.

Get a room!

Yes, sure. No.

No, no problem. Absolutely not.

No, nobody here knows.

Everything's under control.

Yes? No, I promise, that will not happen again.

No, OK. Good.

Bye.

Yes?

What?

Take your fucking "Life In The Wild" dick and ram it up your asshole.

What fanny pack?

Kobba?

Kobba.

Kobba!

Yes.

Yes.

Been there all the time?

No.

OK.

I've made up my mind.

I'm going undercover in the county prison.

Only way to solve the case. Will be a dangerous mission.

I'm putting my ass on the line.

So it's crucial to succeed that you do not tell anyone.

My life's at risk.

Ass.

I need a tattoo.

I think we're done.

Remember: Don't put any sharp objects in there.

Into the body. But soft objects, like a banana.

And eggplant.

And zucchini.

How can I help you?

-A tattoo? -Tattoo, sure. No problem.

These are your options.

These are very hot with kidnappers and such. They dig the skulls.

No.

Murderer: snake, mad dog.

-Devil, spider. -No.

Robber: guns and shit.

Got anything Aryan?

Aryan? Sure, that's...

-Got to be some Nazi stuff, then. -This one.

Strip!

Hi, Rolf.

Just remain calm.

Got a new roommate for you, he'll be here for a while.

Put your stuff up there.

Toothbrush and...

soap.

Let's go. The warden wants to speak with you.

Neo Nazi.

Neo Nazi.

Rasmussen, leave us.

Sit.

My name's William Klovberg, I'm the warden for this little place.

-We spoke on the phone. -Ah, Klovberg. Right.

Thanks for fixing this at short notice.

One always appreciates helping the long arm of the law.

That's good.

And nobody else knows that

I'm here as a policeman?

At the institution, only I know you're a policeman,

and your secret is safe with me.

Good.

Just ask to meet the warden when you've got all you need, and

we'll get you out on the double.

-I'll get started, then. -Yep.

Great. And regarding the food.

Can I choose what to eat?

If I'd like a burger, or falafel for dinner?

Klovberg?

Klovberg?

Klovberg?

Klovberg?

Klovberg?

Fuck.