Original subtitles

With the support of Hungarian National Film Fund and RTL Hungary

T2O presents

a film by Orosz Dénes

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Music? - Aha.

Just hold me.

I'll be back in a minute.

Sorry, but this isn't going to work.

What?

The two of us. Sorry.

Not again! And it was going so well.

But I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with a girl who loves musicals...

or eats from my plate...

or chews her fingers...

- or who's called... - Klotild.

I always think: if she's like this now, what will she be like later?

I run the film in my head and I see the ending.

So I end it and take the consequences.

It's fine!

Sorry!

My neighbours look like the old guys from "The Muppet Show",

and the crazy girl from the fourth...

Hi there!

...uses a ladder instead of the lift.

I'm 40 years old.

I've never exactly been a Brad Pitt, but the girls have always liked me.

NEITHER WITH YOU

Is it too much to expect for a woman to be beautiful, cultured, sporty, funny,

and... not be common?

Pedro, amigo mio.

You're too critical.

That's literally true. I'm a film critic.

And he's my idol... Frank Davenport.

I should settle down, but what should I do?

It's a basic for me that a woman should know who directed "8 ½".

There's going to be a Fellini retrospective at the art cinema,

so don't plan anything for the weekend.

She's my mum. I adore her. And she adores me.

She translated "La femme d'à côté" and all the French films from the seventies.

She started knitting the day they stopped her smoking.

Hajnalka's sweet, hey?

She'd be perfect and she'd love kids.

It's obvious what would make her happy.

A grandchild.

All a mother wants is for her child to do well,

...and start a family.

She's got chronic heart disease. She's waiting for a heart transplant.

She's on the waiting list but her age is against her.

I can't really sleep nowadays.

We're waiting for the heart.

Very much.

Sausage?

I'll tie such a knot in your tail if you don't show your whiskery face!

Do you have to keep running off?

- Sorry, are you the new tenant? - Yeah, Saci Pekk.

I moved in on Tuesday.

Or should I say "we"?

Gergő Hajdu, hi.

- Isn't the cat dangerous to the baby? - Not with me. I've got a document.

Run off home!

Wow, Frank Davenport?

- What's your favourite? - "Still Not Over".

I love that one, too. I pissed my self laughing,

especially on the second one.

- It hasn't got a second part. - Are you really sure about that?

Believe me, I know, I'm a film critic.

And you're so out of touch?

You know, the blond hunk has a stag party

and they wake up with a monkey in a waistcoat!

Okay, I've got it now.

But isn't that "The Hangover Part 2"?

That's got about as much in common with "It's Still Not Over",

as "Se7en" has got to do with "The Seventh Seal".

Is it my fault if they give them such stupid titles?

Ciao!

Valika's expecting her fourth grandchild... her fourth!

Yeah, I understood the first time.

It's a bit Ron Mueck, wouldn't you say?

How was the concert?

Did you do a load of Kurtág, or did you spare the audience?

Mum!

What...?

- Bronchitis. - It's not that bad, is it?

Your mother has dilatative cardiomyopathy.

Even the mildest infection could be fatal.

Meaning?

Gergő, we've known each other since school. I'm not going to lie.

Emma's only got days left.

I'm sorry.

But if a new heart comes in...

She's on the emergency list, isn't she?

Yes. But there are some who've been waiting for years.

I know it's terribly difficult.

But do all you can to make things easier for her... and for yourself.

Making things easier...

I think about my dad a lot and I wish I'll told I love him.

So if there is anything you can do for her, do it now.

Mum!

Mum!

There's someone I'd like to introduce you to.

This is Saci, my girlfriend.

And the mother to my child.

Hi there!

What? What?

- What did you say? - Yes, I know.

I should have told you about her earlier, I mean about us,

but it all happened so quickly.

We didn't know how serious it was, and then the little one came along...

...and happiness and all that.

Oh God!

Son,

I...

Saci! Let me look at you.

May I?

This is wonderful!

And when are you due?

- September. - January.

We're still arguing.

I'd keep it in for the winter but Saci's a bit impatient.

I can't believe it.

And do you live at Gergő's place? Or...

- Mum! - What? I'm just curious.

Well... We live at Gergő's place.

We've changed things a bit,

taken the posters down... And then there's the nursery of course.

How come you never said anything? You ashamed of your mother, hey?

Saci, do I derogate you, too?

Sure.

Okay, we have to go.

Saci still hasn't said anything about herself.

She's the shy type.

Saci!

Take good care of my Gergő!

10, 20,

25... Thanks.

It's super you doing this for her.

Feel free to go.

Oh, matey!

Saci!

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

Who's going to conduct the choir now, Gyula?

How did I let you come here?

I can spend my final days as I wish.

Someone who keeps their pregnant fiancee a secret shouldn't preach.

Hallo!

What?

We've got a heart!

10 days later

I'm eternally grateful to you.

Don't thank me, thank that poor Icelandic biker.

And when can I take mum home?

I know the heart transplant went well.

But this is a critical period. Anything could happen: rejection, infection...

We'll talk about the next steps on Sunday, okay?

Hi!

Auntie Emma told me the news! Daddy!

Adonisz, this is Hedvig my friend the heart surgeon.

Nice to meet you.

I'm going to write to the young man's family, whose heart I got.

This is for you.

What is it?

Not another snow globe?

Is Saci here, too?! I want to see her.

No, she's busy.

Why?

She's gone away.

Where to?

Naples.

I'll be in my office.

Naples? Why?

She's visiting a relative.

And when's she coming back?

What does she do? Who are her parents? I want to know everything about her!

Doctor, just a second!

Yes?

I've found something. Could it be a tumour?

It's a spot.

This morning, I noticed a purple birthmark.

I think that's beetroot. I'm sorry, but...

I like you a lot.

I'm sorry for being bullish.

It's a professional failing. By the way, do you like to eat?

Sorry?

I have supper at Rombusz every Friday at 7 pm,

you might like to come along.

Your mum's probably gonna turn into an easy rider.

Better than if she'd been given an artificial heart like in "Crank 2"!

- Yeah. Thanks for the support, Robi. - It's all I can think about.

Have you had the architect chick yet?

- Dóra? - Yeah.

We're meeting on Tuesday.

Screw her...

- Hi! - Hi!

And then tell me all about it.

But if not, lie that you screwed her and tell me all about it.

- What? - We've got a new owner.

And how many lay-offs?

You're good at that.

All we know is they're going to review every column.

Then maybe things aren't that bad, hey?

Critics are "off" as it is. Journalism is dead.

But while it still lives, will you please not correct my semicolons to commas?

Sure, "Mr. No Mistake"!

When you've done comparing dick size, then maybe we can move on.

With my brilliant sense of timing, I've just employed our new music critic.

Let me introduce Noémi Jávor.

You can be our lucky charm in the hope that everything'll be fine.

Noémi...

Could you tell us a little about yourself?

- Hi! - Hi!

I started at "Test " and that closed a year ago.

Then I went to "Gonzo", where the whole team resigned.

Then there was "732", when they told us after a week not to come in again.

And now I'm here.

Mum?!

She left half an hour ago.

We couldn't keep her in against her will.

We're over the postoperative stage. We've set her medication.

Aha.

- Is she cured then? - She needs to change her lifestyle.

No cats or dogs at home? Because she can't come into contact with droppings.

I've put a blood-pressure and pulsoxymeter on her.

If her blood pressure exceeds the allowed level,

you'll hear this noise...

and get her to hospital ASAP.

So can I tell her that the grandkid story was all a bluff?

No way! Check-up in 2 weeks, but no excitement until then!

Sorry.

It's her.

- Mum. You okay? - When are you coming over?

I'd like to see Saci again.

Saci can't.

She needs to be at home because of her state.

Okay, then I'll come to yours. I'll call a cab now.

What?

- But I'm not at home. - I'll talk to Saci while we wait! Bye!

Don't hang up, Mum!

Shit!

Pick up! Pick up!

- Hello! - Saci?

My mum's going to the flat!

Is she better? Then what's the problem?

She thinks we live together. She can't know that you're not my girlfriend!

Shouldn't you tell her the truth?

You on the phone again?

Sorry, my landlady's shouting at me.

I need you! Just one more time.

Your mum's so sweet, but I don't want to be part of this lie any more.

It's not a lie. It's just a different version of the truth.

I'm sorry!

Shit, Saci, no! Bloody hell!

Mum, wait!

How come you're home so early?

I'm so curious to see what changes Saci's made to the flat.

But don't hurry, take your time.

Stairs are recommended.

Wow.

- What if we went out for a coffee? - I don't feel like it.

I'm glad that Saci took those stupid posters down.

Mum! Just listen to me a minute, please.

I just want to tell you...

Hey! You here so soon?

- Dinner's nearly ready. - That's great! I'm ravenous!

What are you standing there for, nunu? Wash your paws and sit down.

What did you want to say?

- So I pulled him out of the dustbin. - Poor pussycat.

I was covered. I looked like I'd been spritzled on twice.

- What? - Like someone soaked.

I had a cat when I was a girl.

I called him Nelson because he only had one eye.

I'm so happy, kids.

I'm going to be a grandma.

I guess you're a film fanatic, too.

What's your favourite? Dogma? Romanian new wave?

Definitely not that.

That's got about as musch to do with me as "Seven Years in Tibet" has with the "Seven Sea Lions".

This just came out... Kaurismäki.

Yeah, I love the Italians.

She means she loves them, too.

Ah, really. I wanted to ask, have they renovated Castel Nuovo?

Gergő mentioned that you were in Naples.

Really? He did?

Oh, yes.

They've planted flowers... lots of cactus plants.

- Saci loves flowers. - That's how we met.

How was that? Please tell.

How was it? I can't recall. You say.

No, you say.

You say.

- No, you say. - I think you should say.

But you know better.

Yeah, so I went to the florist to buy flowers for the unveiling of a plaque

and I stood in line, paid and a cat suddenly appeared.

It was Sausage. But I didn't know it was Sausage.

And he started to chew my flowers.

And I got angry... that I think it's understandable.

And he jumped out of my arms and ran behind the cactus plants.

Saci walked in just like "Once Upon a Time in The West".

She looked so sweet with her big belly... and she shouted...

Big belly?

I was so overweight back then. Oh, yes.

I worked hard to get that fat off. And I managed it and...

then the kiddie came along, hey, nunu?

- And is the azalea okay? - Who?

We should have them at the wedding. They're stylish.

Mum! We're not really planning a wedding.

I'll be right back.

Oh, thanks. You're a good mate.

I know.

You can ask me for anything. Anything!

I'll stay here for a couple of days.

What?

Just until I find a new place. I got kicked out.

No way! How did you get in here anyway?

With a hairpin, but does that matter? You said I can ask for anything.

- Okay, but forget that idea. - I understand.

Emma, I have to tell you something!

- No, please! - Have we got a deal?

Yeah?

Yes.

- We're so pleased you're feeling better. - You're sweet!

Bye!

Okay, I've had enough!

Do you think I'm a complete idiot?

Do you think I haven't noticed?

- What? - The obvious.

What's between you. Or rather what isn't.

- Is it so obvious? - Gergő, I'm your mother.

Do you think I didn't notice that there hasn't been a single kiss all night?

Well...

Come on then, let's get it over with!

What?

You don't have to be shy. Just kiss!

That's sort of...

Come on, Saci!

Now we've got that done!

Concert tomorrow. See you there.

- Saci isn't... - I won't argue.

You should water this more.

Bye, Sausage, good night, little parents!

- Good night! - Good night!

Night!

Right!

You're sleeping on the sofa, the cat can't come into the bedroom, and put the posters back!

Have you made coffee? You're such a sweetie.

It's Mum's concert tonight. We need to get to know each other better before then.

Yesterday went really well.

But she's a question machine. If you get the wrong answer, we're dead.

I'm not going to any concert.

You're living here, so you're my girlfriend for a week, okay?

- Why, what happens in 2 weeks? - A new test.

Then what are you going to tell your mum?

No, you're getting mixed up again.

- Feri came after Zotya, and after Feri it was... - Hang on, Feri the boxer?

No, the pizza delivery guy. Then Tibusz was after him. It's not that complicated.

Of course, I've memorized them all from Fruzsi to Dóra. When did you meet Dóra?

She's tonight, but don't tell my mum!

Hi, Gergő.

Hi, Fruzsi.

No way!

Is that the same Fruzsi?

She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen. What was the problem with her?

She ate pancakes with her fingers.

So you'll only settle for perfect. I guess you're a virg...

- What? - What's your star sign?

Don't start on about that rubbish! What school did you go to?

Look at those lovely clouds!

- Catering college, and you? - City Grammar,

...and then Budapest University... and Film Studies, and I did my PhD there, too.

- Oh, she must have a really high IQ, too. - Who?

The girl you're meeting tonight.

Thank you!

Are you insane? You gave him a note?

411, that's great! It's my lucky number.

Hello!

Hello!

How can I help you?

I've got savings and I'd like my baby to have a home by the time she arrives.

Maybe the Homemaker Fix Loan would be good.

Aha. Your occupation?

I'm waitress at Spajszer.

Is that your registered place of work?

No, but...

I need the details of your registered workplace.

Lola Bar.

Sorry?

Lola Bar.

The striptease club?

As a dancer?

I'm going to need your husband's salary statement.

Who?

Me? I'm not...

Oh, he's not my husband. I'll be paying the installments on my own.

Oh, that's a problem. You're going to need a guarantor.

I'm on my own, like I said.

Maternity benefit doesn't qualify as a wage.

We can't accept your application.

But I've saved up a load of money! Then what's this all about?

Please!

It's very important for me.

What a shame...

we haven't got a Homebreaker Fix Loan.

Or a Stripper Special Package...

- You rotten bastard! - Saci!

You wanna mess with me?

Filthy pig!

Leave her be, can't you see she's pregnant?!

Saci!

Get her off me!

Didn't you hear, you asshole?!

I'm never going to have my own flat.

You expressed yourself so sophisticatedly in the bank.

Wanker banker!

And when your child asks: "Mummy, where was I born?"

What will you say? Before load of wanking footballers?

I've already said that I've retired.

Okay.

I can't take any more of this.

Leave it to me and don't say a word.

Sir!

Excuse me!

- Zoli! - Saci!

How are you?

- Is Szandi feeling any better? - Much, thanks.

- You're looking great! - Thanks. And how are you?

Oh, don't ask. It's a long story.

- Dörner. - Szakácsi.

- I'm telling you it was Dörner. - And I say Szakácsi.

I understand what you're saying, but I still say Dörner.

Gergő.

Hi!

Who was the hungarian voice of Bruce Willis in "Die Hard 1"?

I can see you're both upset that Forte's in trouble.

Zsolti says Szakácsi, and I know it was Dörner. So?

- In the cinema version? - Aha.

- Gábor Vass. - No fucking way!

Yes, way! It was Dörner in the TV version.

In the second film it was Szakácsi, in the third it was Dörner,

and in that one Szakácsi was Jeremy Irons.

Klick!

Winner of two Oscars, Frank Davenport starts filming "Denoiser" in Hungary.

He has said he will not speak to the press.

- What? An interview with your idol? - Argh!

- Yeah, hopeless. - Hopeless?

Do you know what's hopeless?

Having spontaneous sex with my wife... now that's hopeless.

I swear, the last time we had a decent shag was when she was 5 months pregnant.

OMFG, she was so horny! Hang on, I recorded it!

I'm cumming now. Three, two, one...

I don't want a repeat. I should have left ages ago.

Yeah, your date. You go!

You can slip out during the applause, okay?

Saci, you weren't planning on running off, were you?

I want to introduce you to my girlfriends.

I have to...

Oh, it's not...?

Yes, it is, Valika. This is my daughter-in-law Saci.

- Pleased to meet you! - Oh, no need for formalities,

there's hardly any difference in our ages.

Congratulations on the new arrival!

And where's Gergő?

- On a date. - Oh, what a joker!

You see, Emma, I told you that Gergő isn't a gay boy.

This news has given Emma an extra lease of life.

Yes, we were certain you were going to die.

Me, too.

I even ordered a coffin.

How did the wedding go?

Well, actually, we're not...

Don't say that you're not married?!

That's modernity for you, Valika.

Sure, but you must be planning something.

- What's it going to be like? - I dunno.

Every girl knows.

I'd definitely like flowers in my hair. And a long dress...

But still showing my ankle tattoo.

Right!

There's a little hill near where I grew up.

The sunset there is amazing,

especially in the summer.

When I hear the frogs singing,

I nearly piss myself at the beauty of it all.

Banksy?! You're bringing him here to Hungary?

He's the biggest in the street art, no?

Wow!

And do you know the first building he's going to paint on?

The Whale. It's my favourite. I think it's dead trendy.

- Really? - Aha.

Hedvig, oh, pleased to see you. Take a seat!

I just came to say that...

I'm not coming.

Hey!

I was giving the baby a bit of music therapy!

Don't throw your chocolate wrappers all over the place!

I can see that the date went well.

I don't believe it!

Why do you start a new tube, when there's some in the old tube.

Because I can't squeeze it out.

It's dead easy. You pinch it and pull down the tube.

It doesn't take any strength.

Oh, good God! I'm so sorry! Feel free to use the new tube.

Now what's the problem?

Is it the loan?

Or your boyfriend?

I'm sure you'll patch things up when the baby's born.

Tibusz didn't want the kid.

Okay, then you'll find someone else.

It's not that, it's because...

Vali and your mum are so...

Don't listen to them, they don't know what they're saying.

...are so lovely.

And is that I problem now, too?

No one...

No one has ever been that kind to me in my life before.

- And that's good, isn't it? - No!

It's about Emma's daughter-in-law and Gergő's fiancée, it's not about me.

Saci...

Listen to me.

If they hadn't liked you, they wouldn't have all come rushing around you like that.

- You think so? - Aha.

They think you're really great.

You reacted well to the Ciklosporin,

and the biopsy came back negative.

Thank God for that. It's all thanks to my grandchild.

- Should I call you a taxi? - No, Adonisz is picking me up.

He's my nephew. Oh, I'm such an idiot, you've already met.

Yes...

Yes. In passing.

Can I come in?

One minute. I'm shy.

You can come in now.

I'd like to apologise for the last time.

It was nice that you were interested in me.

But don't think that it could lead to anything...

There's nothing wrong with being a bit scared.

What? I'm...

I'm not in the least bit scared.

And I don't quite understand this patronizing tone, hey?

Just a sec...

I can't find... I can't find that shitting shit!

What are you looking for, can I help?

I'm looking for my shitting tablets,

for my panic attack!

I'm looking for my shitty meds. You happy now?!

Come with me!

Wow!

Can I have a go, too?

Grab the joystick... You're great!

That's...

More!

What hotel's he staying in?

Please, that's all I need! Ádám, listen,

I just need 10 minutes!

Frank doesn't want to meet any journalists, I'm sorry, Gergő.

A very lifelike scene.

- Hello! - Hi!

What month are you?

The fifth, hey?

Apparently it's dead normal for you to crave sex.

Saci!

What? Saci, really?

You can go, Saci.

It's morbid that there's a baby growing inside you and all you can think about is sex.

Stop it, because even the word makes me horny!

Why don't we both go on a quick trip to,

...to Szekszárd?

Sorry.

And if we listened to a sextet, hey?

Sorry!

Don't you know anyone who could help?

Who? Some idiot ex-bloke?

And who the hell would fancy a whale like me?

Why?

I think you look pretty.

It's out of the question.

What?

What you're turning around in your head.

- What am I turning around in my head? - I'm not gonna have sex with you!

- It never even occurred to me. - Don't joke with me!

- I never even thought of you. - Never! See? Never!

Okay, so being as the subject never even came up, let's drop it, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, but it came up for you!

Sorry?

Nothing. It's just I can tell you toyed with the idea of us having sex.

What gives you that stupid idea?

You thought that I wanted to have sex with you,

and because it occurred to you, you toyed with the idea.

That's all.

I did not toy with the idea.

It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Saci.

The fact that it occurred to me does not mean that I toyed with the idea.

Why, what's the difference?

I toyed with the idea that I might sleep with...

Ryan Gosling.

It occurred to me about you...

that it had occurred to you.

It did occur to me.

We need to discuss a few things.

We'll be done in a jiffy and you can both hop into bed.

You need to use these from the 34th week.

What for?

Perineum massage.

Look, it says here:

place your finger inside the vagina...

Emma, thanks, I can sort this on my own...

Don't be silly, we're all family.

I never used to believe in God.

But I know that fate gave me this chance

so I can experience the birth of my grandchild.

It's such a relief that the name's already sorted.

- Whose name? - The baby's name!

Right, sure.

- But we still don't know if it'll be a boy or a girl. - It'll be a boy, and his name will be Gergely.

We'll think about it.

My father was Gergely, my son is, and my grandson will be, too... full stop!

It's my baby, and I'll decide what it's called... full stop!

Okay, so we'll discuss this later...

full stop!

Mum, it's late. Don't you want to...?

I'm sleeping here.

- Where? - What “where"? On the sofa!

I'm sure you'll have enough room in the bedroom, won't you? Run along now!

Can I come in?

Sure.

I'll sleep on the floor.

Of course you won't! I will.

- No, I will. - Stop it.

- There's no way I'm gonna let you. - But it's not my bedroom.

Son! There's a problem.

Sausage has peed on the sofa. What are we going to do now?

Hm?

So I said: "Muci, stop talking before I give you a slap!"

She didn't know what to say.

But at least she knows who wears the trousers!

- Géza, where's my coffee? - I'm coming, Muci!

I'll break your fingers, kid!

Sorry?

This is my half of the desk and it's got your chocolate wrapper on it.

Oh, yeah, sorry. It irritates me, too.

- Don't take it away. - But you just told me to.

I wanted to see what it was like arguing with you.

And...

What do you say to that?

I'm gonna wine and dine you tomorrow night, that clear?

I'm gonna piss you off, and I'm gonna go!

I'm glad you like them, kids. Gergő!

- Mum, how did you...?! - I just brought some cake.

Your mother's a goddess.

Son, you've really got to paint the back bedroom.

You don't want to wait for Saci to...

Where's that cake?

Because I think it's important before the baby...

Have you met Noémi yet?

Hello! Noémi Jávor.

And I'm Emma. My only son's mother.

But, soon to be a happy grand...

Grand... it's grand you came, but we have to go!

- Where are you taking me? - To choir.

- That's not until tomorrow. - At least you'll have time to warm up properly.

- Bye. - Hey, the cake!

What did I say? She's moved into Casanova's place.

I haven't got any change.

Saci!

We need to call this whole thing off. It's too risky.

Mum came to work today and very nearly let the cat out of the bag.

Listen... tomorrow night...

Hi! Girls, this is Gergő.

Hi, Gergő!

A guest's coming tomorrow. Don't be here between 8 and 12!

She's taken my life.

Saci?

- I-I-I can't stand it a minute longer. - Then tell your mother the truth.

You said she should be spared, didn't you?

But she's better now...

...unlike you.

Yeah, and what would you say is someone wormed their way into your home?

Hi, Adonisz.

Because it's driving me insane. It's a...

I loved when you wrote "Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom" - perverted by Passolini.

Doesn't it feel bad they all close down?

As Davenport said in "The Convict":

"You can still admire the sunset when you're falling from a building."

- Let's bet that the sweetie stays the night. - Argh!

That's 10 you owe me.

Now I'm going to sit on your face and you're going to lick away until I say stop.

Who's that?

- My sister. - Your mum said you're an only child.

She's like a sister but she's my cousin.

She pops in sometimes.

You okay, Saci?

You really are a super neighbour, Gergő.

Because we're also neighbours... and cousins.

And how are you cousins?

- Our fathers were brothers. - On the maternal side.

They were siblings but got divorced.

They didn't get divorced, but my stepmother and her father.

What I mean to say is...

Noémi!

Noémi! I'm so... Wait!

- Noémi! - You're a worm!

Ballsy girl.

Noémi!

Sorry. I fell asleep.

What happened?

Does it hurt a lot?

Should I fetch some ice?

Bring an ice-pick instead.

I said I'm sorry.

You really do ruin everything.

Okay.

I've really had enough now. I'm not doing this anymore!

Really? Me neither. You know what?

I'm gonna call Mum now.

Good!

- Hi, Mum! - I've found a fantastic cot.

- Mum... - Is Saci there?

That's what I wanted to say, please listen.

Me and Saci have...

- Split up. - Sorry?

I'm done.

An archetype and not a stereotype. There's a massive difference.

Yes, but just deepens the social divide.

Alternative is the new mainstream, and hipster's the new alternative.

Look at Bajmonay courting Gergő.

Family means everything to me.

He's the culture columnist at "Start".

I bet he's trying to woo him away.

If someone comes looking for a job,

I find it harder to turn a family man away than a single person.

I'd give you a job tomorrow if you had a wife and a kid.

- Really? - Aha.

Today's my birthday.

- But it's really a Forte party! - Forte!

Thanks, Klári.

But it might be the last.

I don't want to be a sniveling party pooper, so all I'd like to say is that

I love you all,

and especially my best mate,

and my gorgeous wife.

So...

So let's get pissed quick!

Noémi, we need to talk.

What are you doing here?!

What are you doing here?!

- Hi, I'm Klári, and you are? - She's Saci.

And she's pregnant with Gergő's child.

What?! You're gonna be a dad?!

No, she's not my girlfriend, she's...

Your fiancée.

No, hang on...

I guessed right, hey? Congratulations!

Wow, this is crazy, it's totally crazy.

I'm stunned.

Where are you having it?

At Saint Margaret's.

Isn't that a real junkyard?

Could you repeat that?

Yes. I've had enough of your trendy English expressions!

Bloody hell! And I thought my surprise would be the coolest.

Why, what have you organized?

I ordered a stripper for Robi. She should have been ages ago.

- Thank God you didn't order a prostitute. - It's the same thing.

I bet she'll be a big-titted dumb slut and we can all have a good laugh.

They're not all like that.

- Why, do you know so many? - No, just don't be such a judgmental prick!

What the Fuck! Gergő!

They can't help it if they're not at the same level.

What's your job?

I'm a stripper.

- Okay, I get the joke. - You don't believe me?

Not really. Especially not with a belly that size.

And anyway, I recognise them right away.

Really? As it happens, pregnant dancing is my specialty.

And I'd like to get my work over with, so...

And I'm a Chippendale!

And I'm a prostitute!

- Can I be your pimp, baby? - Sure.

At last, it's not a snob party.

- You're late! - Pardon?

No problem, just get started.

Zsolt!

Music on, clothes off and then... "You can leave your hat on"!

What's your name?

Ildikó Tálas.

The new owner of Forte.

Saci, wait! Stop a minute, Saci!

Saci, wait!

Can you lot hear yourselves?

- Is that what you're so proud of?! - But you said you'd stopped doing that shit.

Why do you look down on a stripper but on the guy who orders one?

You look down on a prostitute but not on man who hires one?!

But why do you do it? There's always waitressing.

What's that enough for? The kid needs a home and I can't get a loan.

I haven't got anyone,

and it's all I know!

So it's just the two of us. I know it's hard to deal with.

Hi.

You?

You ask some stupid questions, son. I invited her here,

but I can't get a thing out of her... So, what's the story?

What do you mean?

I invited him here, too. This is a family matter.

Hedvig's on duty.

So what exactly is going on between Saci and you?

Well, the magic has gone. It's no big deal.

The magic's gone? Between you?

I've seen how you look at each other.

What?

And anyway, it's not certain that the baby's mine.

Just like his father! When he found out I was pregnant,

he reckoned that the kid wasn't his! Me!

Well, Saci's not like you, that's for sure!

How could you throw your child's mother out?

- Okay, then I'll tell you! - Quiet!

- Your going to couple therapy. - What?!

No argument!

Adonisz, you say something!

Hedvig and I are getting married.

Emma, I don't think therapy's such a good idea, hey, Gergő?

But you are going.

- Dr. Sulyok is expecting you. - What?

And I've paid a deposit on a pushchair and spoken to Lajos.

He'll rent his garden at a good price for the wedding.

Haven't you booked a priest?

Or don't you want to give birth to this baby?

Son, don't make fun of me!

Mum! I'm 40, not still at kindergarten!

Don't interfere! We're not going to therapy, and that's certain!

Okay. Then don't go!

If something's not perfect, you'd just throw it in the rubbish!

You've got no staying power!

Will you throw the baby away as well if it's not like you thought it would be?

Or me?

- Calm down! - There's no point living like this!

The furniture has got such good energy here,

don't you think, son?

You're past the hardest part, because you've come along today.

It shows that you both feel the need to repair your relationship.

- We don't even know each other. - Thank heavens you've realised that fact.

- Please understand that we're not a couple! - I see, but that's why your here.

No. We're here because of my mother.

We weren't, we aren't, and we never will be a couple. Is that clear?

Gergely. Denial is...

What denial? Can you believe this?

Young man, it appears to me that you have Couvade Syndrome.

Do you often feel that if only you could give birth to this child?

I should have brought a bloody gun!

Sorry?

Come on! We've got enough trouble!

My mother nearly died. My office might be closing.

Closing?

It looks like they're going to kick out the whole team.

We're going slowly die out like speech marks.

Good, Gergely, we're making progress.

How often do you enjoy sexual relations?

Well... it looks to me like we reached the root of the problem.

- I need to talk to Mr. Davenport! - You can't come in here without a pass!

- But I really am a journalist. - And I'm a security guard.

You can stay here, Saci. He loves you, he's just scared.

Do you think...

I'm a bad mother?

No, of course not! It's just...

The why won't he speak to me?

He's my everything. All I ever think about is how things could be better for him.

That's exactly it.

What do you mean?

What if if you spent more time thinking about your life and less about Gergő's?

- Is that Gergő? - Aha.

This is him in year 4.

There were 4 cowboys at the fancy dress, and 3 robots,

but he was the only prisoner.

He already adored Frank Davenport back then.

And him?

- He's Gergő's father. - How old was Gergő when...?

When he walked out on us?

Three!

And have you never tried since?

Look...

I had Gergő and I had my work.

And don't you miss sex?

Look at this letter.

He wrote it to Davenport when he was 8.

He put the dictionary on the kitchen table and he sat writing for hours.

We never posted it, of course, because we didn't know his address.

And do know what else he did when he was small?

He opened a book, licked his finger, and turned the pages like this.

Wow, who's sex bomb?

- I was pretty. - Pretty?!

I love the hair! And the red!

- You should always have it like this! - Come off it!

- Oh, no! - No, I'm serious!

You're gorgeous!

Oh, no!

You really are. You'd have the blokes lining up.

They'd die when they saw you!

Okay, okay, enough... Good night, Saci!

Good night!

Röné? With an "ö"?

No, with an "e". Like René Zellweger.

Well Geezer.

- What? - If you change the letters.

Yeah, right.

My name's Gergő Hajdú, if you change the letters,

it makes Gay Go Hairdo...

...or Dr.

Dr. Rare Hug.

You're funny.

Hi.

Robi, hi!

This is René with an "e".

- Hello. - Hi.

Where did you leave your pregnant wife? Sorry... your fiancee.

Because you're slurping with a daddy here... What's this?

Mojito?

You're totally right.

And I deserve that, too.

You're disgusting, and not in the good way this time.

- Robi, you need to know that...! - Listen to me.

How the hell is it that you turn up at my birthday party

with a woman who's expecting your child,

and you never said a bloody word to me about any of it?!

- I wanted to tell you, but... - But?

Saci's not my girlfriend and the child isn't mine!

What?!

I did it all because of Mum, when it looked like... you know...

- But then she got better. - Why don't you tell her?

Because I'm worried about her heart.

How long do you want to wait? Until Saci's kid graduates?

- I know, you're right. - I'm always right.

- A beer? - Ah!

- Hallo! - Did I wake you up?

- Your Mum only just went to bed. - What?! You're staying at hers?!

Jesus! Escape!

I'm moving out tomorrow.

- Where to? - To stay with Vivi at Újlak Street.

Why did you call?

I felt a bit guilty and wanted to make sure...

you had somewhere to sleep.

Then...

...have a good sleep.

If only I could.

Once upon a time there lived a little boy who was always telling lies.

He always thought that this would be the last one

but then he somehow always carried on.

One lie led to another...

and the little boy got sadder and sadder

because all the lies had turned into a big pile of shit.

Then one day a little bird landed on the pile of shit and asked:

"Are you mad? When are you going to end all this?"

And the little boy thought.

And, just for a moment...

he closed his eyes.

You can all go on table 8 with Emma,

but if Saci comes, too, I'll have to move you to table 7.

But then I'll have to put Juli next to Dezső.

But then that means table 3...

- Is the bulldozer parked close? - Bunnie!

Okay, so the lies are all stopping here.

Frank Davenport's in town. Don't you want to meet him?

Davenport?

It never even occurred to me. I tried but it didn't work out.

Mum, what's wrong?

Why have you got a sheet wrapped around you?

Could you come back tomorrow?

- Jesus! If I think about Mum with that bloke... - You've hardly taken an oath of virginity.

Yes, but she's Mum... My mum!

Who's enjoying her life.

And I was worried about her heart.

This is how I used to practice before I went into the bar.

I was really nervous.

I've never understood how you can hold yourself up on that pole.

Thigh muscles. Nothing else, just thigh muscles.

And how did you end up there?

I worked as a waitress in a café.

The girls used to come in.

And they were all so beautiful.

They were always talking about the money the earned dancing.

Then the café closed and I started dancing.

And wasn't it terrible?

At the beginning, yes, then you get used to it.

You're not going to do it after the birth, are you?

It's not that simple.

Look, that cloud looks exactly like a dinosaur.

Yes, I guess it does.

- So then... Bye! - Bye!

Adonisz Tóth, do you take Hedvig Vass to be your lawful wedded wife?

- I do. - And you, Hedvig Vass,

take Adonisz Tóth to be your lawful wedded husband.

I do.

I am now happy to pronounce you man and wife

in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.

You still need to take your tablets every day, and that includes the Sandimmun neoral.

- Okay. - No tap water or sausage.

I'm sure there'll be a doctor there if you need anything.

Karcsi will take good care of me.

Karcsi.

- Károly Kékesi. - Gergő Hajdú.

Bye!

Bye!

Bye!

The sun goes down on zombie films...

Look who's here.

Hello!

Hi.

You?

- Meeting in 2 minutes. - Thanks.

We still have meeting but for what?

- Hello! - It's so nice that you're listening to me.

It's for you.

Hello..

Very funny...

Are you mad? You hung up?

You hung up on Frank Davenport?

Sure.

It really was him.

His voice sounded pretty similar.

It's him, pick it up!

Saci, is a mate having a joke with me?

Pick it up!

Hallo, hello?

If I remember well, Mr. Pötörke,

you didn't mention the B-Passive Model the last time.

- Did you convince Davenport? - I'm in a meeting, if you don't mind.

I'm asking, because my friend sent me a couple of articles

about the penalties a financial advisor can face for misinforming a client,

if that client should seek legal redress.

So is there still a problem with my loan application?

I'm gonna have a flat!

And I'm gonna meet Frank Davenport!

Tell me how you did it!

Well...

What's wrong?

Saci!

No need to worry. It's just the neck of the womb expending.

The baby is completely healthy.

Don't worry, daddy, you're going to have a beautiful baby girl.

Are we disturbing you?

- Hi! - Could you move!

Oh, sorry, I'm hanging up. Pi-pi-pi-pi...

I was just talking to Sausage.

There's going to be a party at Champagne Terrace tonight.

- Maybe we could go. - Who we?

We we!

Porfiry did it!

Just joking.

Hi!

You look beautiful.

I've ordered for you, too. Beer okay?

What music were you listening to?

Sorry.

What are you thinking about?

"5 x 2".

It's a film.

It goes backwards.

It's like it's about us.

First we had a kid.

Then you moved in,

and now we're kissing.

Well...

I enjoyed it sometimes.

- The kissing? - No, you idiot...

The whole thing!

Really?

Okay, your mum gets a bit carried away,

but you're a real family: you, your mum,

...and Frank Davenport on the wall.

I'm so curious to find out what happens to Raskolnikov.

Is something wrong?

Nothing. Carry on.

No, no... but will he give himself up for Sonya, or if not then what?

Gergő, are you okay?

I'll be right back, sorry.

It's okay.

It would never have worked.

What are you talking about?

You're a top-class guy,

and I'm just a dumb stripper.

- Oh, that's not true. - And I can't change that.

No, you're... you're...

Wonderful.

Yes, but I'm not perfect and that's what you want.

I don't know what I want.

I thought that perhaps, at last...

I'm sorry!

Look after yourself...

And your mum.

- 12 years. - Yeah.

It's good that Bajmonay's giving you a job.

It's still not for sure.

- Your ready already? - Years of practice.

I might be an idiot, but I really did think that you'd get the interview with Frank Davenport.

I'm looking for Gergő Hajdú.

I'm Tibor Babra.

"Tibusz"!

I've been following you and Saci for a week. And now I know who stole my girlfriend.

Look, hey, you've completely misunderstood.

Listen here!

Gergő's my best mate and I'm not gonna let anyone hurt him.

- Robi, leave it. - No, no!

What makes you think you can come in here and start a fight?

I'm clean.

I haven't hit anyone for 22 days.

Then I hope it stays that way.

Saci's mine!

And the baby in her belly's mine, too!

I picked her up every morning after she'd stripped until dawn, and not you.

- Saci's really a stripper? - I knew right away. It was so “obvious"!

I want my girl back, that clear?!

Okay, it's clear.

Next time don't be a peasant like when you left her stripping when she was pregnant.

Shit! Now I've got to start all over again.

Don't blame yourself.

I somehow guessed that the counter would got back to zero with me.

What if she doesn't take me back because you two match better.

No, we definitely don't match.

She's a good person and I'm a cynical prick.

And, other than that one kiss, nothing happened.

I did the whole this because of my mother.

Mum,

I'm sorry that I lied to you,

...and that I caused you pain.

I want to feel the moment being as they're taking the coffin back.

It's mean of them to take 30% off. I didn't even use it.

Mum, calm down!

I don't want you get ill again!

Hedvig says that my heart's as strong as an ox. And it's dead comfy.

I was selfish but I know that now.

I went rushing into everything.

Listen, Mum,

I don't want to lie to you anymore. Not about anything.

I hate the azalea. I keep it in a cupboard and I only get it out when you come over.

I hate snow globes. I think they're awful!

At the end of year 7, I didn't go on the school outing,

but went down to Lake Balaton with Robi!

Wow!

I had men after your father but I found something wrong with all of them.

I'm sure you wouldn't understand.

I was a fool.

Son...

The last few months have been the happiest months of my life.

I've grown to really love Saci.

And she loves you, too.

And you... her?

Me?

I...

What?

Wow!

Fingers crossed!

Hi!

Saci, hi, sorry for calling you,

...bit so much has happened. I'm meeting Davenport today.

- You hear? Thanks so much! - Aha.

And mum knows, too. About us and about how it's not true.

- And she's fine. - Aha.

Why are you talking in a whisper?

Tibusz came by and...

Saci, hello, Saci!

Is that you? You're never gonna call Saci again!

- Otherwise I'm gonna kill you! - Tibusz please don't!

Shut it!

Saci!

Hello, Saci!

Come on, he's waiting.

You calling him again?

Saci! Saci!

The number you have called is temporarily unavailable.

Please repeat your call a little later.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Sorry.

OUT OF ORDER.

Where's Saci?

If she's hurt, I'm gonna rip your heart out!

- Gergő, what are you doing here? - Saci, has he hit you?

- Of course not! - But I heard it on the phone.

Tibusz has got some anger problems but he's working on it.

And there's plenty of work to do.

- He's never hurt me. - You... never.

What exactly are you doing here?

That's a good question.

Your feet start walking and you don't know why.

Is that another of your Davenport quotes?

No, I left him in the hotel.

- What? - And I ran.

I caught the tram because the metro isn't working.

It's dead irritating but whatever!

Saci, I love you!

I love you, too!

You can all screw yourselves, I mean it!

One smashes the place up, the other goes mad because I use a straw.

You can both get out of here, now!

Okay then, I'll go.

Saci!

You're gonna fucking stay here until you've picked everything up!

Saci! Doesn't anything I said mean anything at all? Or do you love Tibusz?

Gergő!

We were standing there...

and a second later you changed your mind.

Yeah, I panicked.

And what's the guarantee that you won't panic again in a week from now?

- Nothing, I'm panicking now. - But what about?

About everything. What'll happen if I mess up?

Or what'll happen if you say no? Or if you say yes?

Fabulous! And what am I supposed to do?

Deal with me! And trust me, please!

Saci, I'm here, can't you see?

I'm not running away because you're important to me.

And I now know that this isn't about straws

or pancakes or who knows what, but it's about me.

So the point is that I love you.

And I want to be with you...

or both of you...

...to be by your side for when you need me.

And if I asked you now if I could kiss you,

of course I don't mean if I could kiss you now or not but could I kiss you?

Definitely not.

I see.

Who would have believed that the day would come...

in a tiny village, to the sound of frogs creaking...

I'd marry the crazy girl from the fourth? Because I never would.

CRADLE NURSERY

And I'm the one who used to worry about the future all the time

and what would happen later on.

I played so many films in my head and I saw the end of them all.

But there is one thing that I never watched in those films...

and that was the middle,

the most important parts.

But now here I am...

right in the middle of it.

And what about the panic?

I still panic sometimes.

I think that I've at last started to understand...

what Douglas Adams was talking about with 42 and the meaning of life.

This is my film.

This is our film.