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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,681 Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 2 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,099 Cheater, cheater bitch, cheater... 3 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,267 What's that? 4 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:21,062 Summer's making TikToks now, calling me out. 5 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:24,233 Cheater, cheater bitch Cheater, cheater, cheater bitch 6 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,192 It's been a week of this shit. 7 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,736 I'm over it. 8 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,823 Hate to say it, song kind of slaps. 9 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,033 It's a total banger. 10 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,870 - It's got that... - Yeah. 11 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:42,667 Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 12 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,668 Cheater, cheater bitch 13 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,796 - Cheater bitch-- - I can hear you guys. 14 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,713 Sorry. 15 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,841 How was dinner with your folks? 16 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,552 Great. I've been teaching my dad how to play Call of Duty. 17 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,846 We stayed up all night shit-talking twelve-year-olds. 18 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,641 - They're destroying you two, aren't they? - Yeah. They're assholes. 19 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,060 Also, you remember my army buddy, Jorge? 20 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,436 The guy I hid from? 21 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,690 He's coming back to town, and I'm actually gonna hang with him. 22 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,985 That's great. In the therapy biz, we'd say you're trending upward. 23 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,361 Thanks. 24 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:13,406 Still, I guess the best thing about all this, 25 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,159 I discovered sitting in the shower. 26 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,078 - I don't think I'm ever going back. - Tell me about it. 27 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,708 Until I got my shower stool, I don't think I'd ever washed my feet. 28 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,501 That's nasty. 29 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,962 Dad, you're oversharing again. 30 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:29,464 Why haven't you left? 31 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,800 Finally. Are we going? 32 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,886 No, wait. I gotta fill my water bottle again. 33 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,596 Okay, that's gonna take an hour. 34 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,347 I'm gonna start my hiking conversation now. 35 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,809 Charlie and I signed the paperwork. We've decided to adopt. 36 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,019 Yay! 37 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,187 - Hey! - Congratulations. 38 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,938 - Thank you. - How did you land on adoption 39 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,733 as opposed to just spotting a baby you like and having Liz steal it for you? 40 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,526 I would totally steal a baby. 41 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,819 We know. 42 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,739 So, this way, at parties I can get all emotional and be like, 43 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,574 "It's like our baby adopted us." 44 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,242 That's the best. 45 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,577 - Yeah. - You'd be good at that. 46 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,329 I'm just excited to see you with a dad bod. 47 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,873 So was I, but I lost a coin toss with Charlie 48 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:07,085 to see who gets to let themselves go and who has to stay shaved and ripped. 49 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,712 Guys, though, we can't get too excited, 50 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,132 because Stuart said it might take forever. 51 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:13,716 But I don't get it. 52 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,886 How did you navigate the Mebane deal without upsetting the partners? 53 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,097 You know, I just got in the sea about it and I figured it all out. 54 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,309 - Congrats. - Got in the sea about it? I like it. 55 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,395 That's my favorite way to solve problems. 56 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,648 Anyway, I... 57 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:32,109 You know, I just stopped by to talk shop with my mentor. 58 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,528 - That'd be me. - That guy. 59 00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:36,072 And he also told me that you were gonna be here. 60 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:39,575 So I decided to put on my tightest pants 61 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,285 and remind you that the guy 62 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,247 who asked you out on your voicemail still exists. 63 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,581 - Okay. - Unfortunately, 64 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,250 I think I put on a couple of pounds 65 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:51,003 'cause these bad boys are cutting off the circulation to my gooch. 66 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,505 They are tight. 67 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,924 I'm gonna head out, peel myself out of these pants. 68 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,092 - See you later. - Bye. 69 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,845 - See you, Derrick. - Bye. 70 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,848 How do you let those two scoops just walk away? 71 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,058 What I'd do to that if I was a woman. 72 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,102 Good news, Derek, you don't have to be a woman. 73 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,146 - Grab a spoon. - What's the spoon for? 74 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,897 All right, listen up. 75 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,442 I'll admit, okay, I let that get away from me a bit. 76 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,530 After the stuff happened with my mom, D-Two did call to check in on her, 77 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,867 but I didn't answer because I felt bad that I didn't reach out first 78 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,869 - after I bailed on him. - Wow. 79 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,289 Plus, now I think I'm a little intimidated because if we do hook up, 80 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,541 then he would be, like, the hottest guy I've ever been with. 81 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,625 - Yeah. - Right. 82 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,877 One of the hottest. 83 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,712 No. The hottest by far. 84 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,130 Did you see that guy? 85 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:37,301 I am this close to throwing it all away for a threesome with the Dereks. 86 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,343 Well, thanks for including me. 87 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,678 Only if the other one's there. 88 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:44,892 Okay. Yes, he is very attractive, 89 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,561 but who's Gaby's second hottest? 90 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,730 - Keith? - Oh, my God! Keith. 91 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,773 - Keith was hot. - Keith. Yeah. 92 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,151 - He was crazy hot. - I still text him. 93 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,320 So, we have Derrick. 94 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,488 Then we have Keith coming in a hot second. 95 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,575 - Yeah. - Then we have... 96 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:03,952 Jimmy. 97 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,246 Jimmy. 98 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,748 - Joey. - Oh, my God! 99 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,000 - Oh, my God. - Joey who lives in his van? Joey? 100 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,543 - Yeah. - Yeah, a cool van. 101 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,128 And he had a big ol' dick. 102 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,588 Can't beat that. 103 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,881 - No. - Fuck Joey. 104 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:20,343 Are you okay, boo? I mean, I'll put you in fourth. 105 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,679 I'm fucking third, and you all know it. 106 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,264 Let's go hiking. 107 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,381 {\an8}Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 108 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,634 {\an8}Cheater, cheater bitch, cheater-- 109 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,219 {\an8}Summer's talented. 110 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,637 {\an8}I know. It's so catchy. 111 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,889 {\an8}- Yeah. - I know you're seeing Alice later, 112 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,601 {\an8}so I just thought you should know what she's dealing with. 113 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,436 {\an8}Hello? 114 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:12,855 Come on in, Dan. 115 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,316 Sorry, but where were you sitting? 116 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,193 Right there. 117 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,153 He can't handle the warm spot. 118 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,657 {\an8}Then you two will have plenty to talk about. 119 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,077 {\an8}Have a seat, Dan. 120 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,038 {\an8}Stan's wedding is tomorrow. 121 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,584 {\an8}He's my closest friend, but he'll be busy getting married, 122 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,920 {\an8}and sitting alone at a table of strangers is my nightmare, 123 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,799 {\an8}so I don't think I can do it. 124 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,635 {\an8}Dan, you know how I'm always preaching about forward motion? 125 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,804 {\an8}Forging this friendship with Stan is a huge breakthrough, 126 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:51,058 {\an8}but I think maybe it also gave you the opportunity to stop. 127 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,810 {\an8}Stopping can be forward motion. 128 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,354 {\an8}Stopping can't be forward motion. 129 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,232 {\an8}Look, big part of friendship is being there for each other. 130 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,693 {\an8}Do you wanna show up for Stan or not? 131 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,822 {\an8}Yeah. I'd love to be there for him. 132 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,449 Then you're going to that wedding. 133 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,077 I doubt it. I'm terrified and stubborn. It's a deadly combo. 134 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,789 Dan, I'm sorry, but in terms of patients, I'm on a fucking hot streak. 135 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,709 I might be undefeatable, which means you and I, 136 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,294 we gotta break through this wall. 137 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,754 In one session? 138 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,381 You're right, that's insane. 139 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,425 Okay. We're gonna spend the whole day together. 140 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,804 You and I are gonna kick this problem's ass. Starting now. 141 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,642 {\an8}Shit. You know what? I have another patient scheduled for later, 142 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,101 {\an8}and I'm supposed to get my teeth cleaned. 143 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,895 {\an8}All right, I need to make some phone calls 144 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,106 {\an8}and then we're gonna kick ass. Starting now. 145 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,402 It's your own warm spot, Dan. You're fine. 146 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,239 Thanks for bringing me coffee again. 147 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,990 Even though I do have class in five minutes, so... 148 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,158 - That's okay. - Yeah. 149 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,410 I was gonna tell you all about myself, but I'll condense it. 150 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,328 Please do. 151 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,080 I'm from Massachusetts. 152 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,414 Allergic to penicillin. 153 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,502 I love anything Alfredo, even though I'm not great with dairy. 154 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,506 I once met Craig from Craigslist. Terrible dude. 155 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,883 Wow, there's, like, two deal-breakers in there. 156 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:06,926 Which ones? 157 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,136 Well, definitely the Alfredo-making-you-shit-your-pants part. 158 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,264 Worth it. 159 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:13,933 Oh, shit. 160 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,769 - What? - It's Keisha. Don't look. 161 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,982 Wow. Yeah, she's coming. Is she a threat? Should we run? 162 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,192 No, she's here on a track scholarship. She'll catch us. 163 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,527 - Jesus. - Hey. 164 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:25,821 What's up? 165 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,867 My essay on family systems is due, like, right now. 166 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,869 Could you read it and give me notes? 167 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,870 Just to be clear, 168 00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:37,123 you want me to read and fix it before you give it to me to read again? 169 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,249 Yes, please. 170 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,542 Ovaries of steel. I like it. 171 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,336 - Here. Give it to me. - Thank you. 172 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,380 Sorry. Once again. 173 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,716 It's okay, because now I'm gonna use your guilt 174 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,259 to make you go on a real date with me later. 175 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,094 - Really? - I'll go out with you right now. 176 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,179 - Wait, what? - What? 177 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,600 You're always talking about self-care. I mean, this is self-care. 178 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,685 Also, I have it on good authority that her coochie is on lock. 179 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,978 And yours is open for business? 180 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,063 Inappropriate. 181 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,481 But, yeah. 24-7. 182 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,150 I'm not sure what your deal is, Keisha, 183 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,153 but you should probably patch things up with your dad. 184 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,071 Keisha, do not fuck with my game. 185 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,116 Derrick, let's do it. This afternoon. 186 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,744 - All right. - Wow. 187 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,624 Well, I had to. I needed to shoot my shot. 188 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,167 Excuse you. 189 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,210 Is this gonna affect my grade? 190 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,213 I'm gonna level with you, Keisha, probably. 191 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:25,589 Probably. 192 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,720 Okay, why would anyone wanna sit at a communal table? 193 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,972 This is classic exposure therapy, Dan. 194 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,017 Did you know that fear-inducing situations, 195 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,230 they activate this little cluster of neurons in your amygdala? 196 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,399 And exposure therapy can help silence those fear neurons. 197 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,693 - No way. - Yeah. 198 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:48,653 I didn't follow any of that. 199 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,239 You just trust me. It works. 200 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,367 I used to be afraid of spiders, for example, so I got this book on 'em. 201 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,118 I learned their weird little ways, 202 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:59,706 and eventually I got to the point I could catch one. 203 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,210 And now, if I see one of those weird little fuckers, 204 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,172 I look him dead in his eight little eyes and I say, "I'm the boss!" 205 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,300 - Cool. - Got the pancakes, huh? 206 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,261 I did. They're fucking insane. 207 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180 Yeah. What about you? 208 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,893 Yeah. These are pancakes, and I got them. 209 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,689 - Yeah, it's fucking insane. - Yeah. 210 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,776 Excuse me for one second. 211 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,946 - It's... - Hey, is everything okay? 212 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:32,990 Did you see the rainbow this morning? 213 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,828 Now that he's gone, we don't need to talk anymore, so... 214 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,705 - Little force field. - Hey. 215 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:43,040 I have to go take care of something at my daughter's school. 216 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,961 Thank God. This was a bad idea. 217 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,715 Hey. You sure you're cool being done here? 218 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,509 Look, I'm sorry I broke your hot streak. 219 00:09:56,263 --> 00:10:00,016 Connor still hasn't called me since he went back to college. 220 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:03,227 Have you ever been ghosted by something you squeezed out of your hoo? 221 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,146 I have not. 222 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:09,192 Hey, come on by the microbrewery. 223 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:10,735 I wanna show you something. 224 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:14,113 I hope it's a list of synonyms for microbrewery. 225 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,156 So pretentious. 226 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,533 - Good pretentious? - Maybe. 227 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,619 See you later. 228 00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,790 Paul. Hi. Cool. 229 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,417 This is my friend Mac. 230 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,794 No, we don't need to do this. I'm heading in. 231 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,880 Okay. 232 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,218 - For me? - Yeah. 233 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,136 You gonna eat that? 234 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,556 This thing that I paid for and then brought over here to the table? 235 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,642 I don't know. 236 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:45,603 Hey, Paul... No way, you have a friend? 237 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,397 We're not putting labels on it. 238 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,857 I am Ray and we are in love. 239 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,276 Adorable. 240 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,486 I just wanted to let you know 241 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,073 that what you saw with Mac and me was perfectly innocent. 242 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,328 When you make a point to come inside and overexplain yourself, 243 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,331 then I definitely believe you. 244 00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:09,961 Also, could you do me a solid and not mention this to Derek? 245 00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,963 The plot thickens. There's a Derek. 246 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,089 I don't love him. 247 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:18,344 Listen, Mac and I are just old friends, and my husband doesn't like him. 248 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,596 I feel compelled to ask. 249 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,683 This Mac guy... Stupid name, by the way. 250 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,851 Agreed. 251 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,228 Is he married? 252 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,605 - No. - Does he listen to you? 253 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,984 Does he seem to give a shit about your problems? 254 00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,571 Yes. That's friendship. 255 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,906 Yeah, sure. 256 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,575 - Ray, you're single. - Yes. 257 00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:44,370 Do you hang out with attractive women, just so that they can be friends? 258 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,538 Yes, one. 259 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:46,665 See? 260 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,333 I keep waiting for her to make a mistake. 261 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,419 And then... 262 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:55,090 So, that's two votes for "Mac wants to fuck you." 263 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:58,551 Okay, Statler and Waldorf, you're both wrong. 264 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,094 No one wants to fuck me. 265 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:04,808 I mean, obviously people wanna fuck me, but you know what I meant. 266 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,228 How do you know her? 267 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,772 She almost shit in my desk once. 268 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:17,195 So, the fight started when Summer played the "cheater bitch" video 269 00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:18,988 to the entire cafeteria. 270 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,073 - Okay. - Alice grabbed Summer's phone 271 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,784 and threw it into a bucket of ranch dressing. 272 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,121 Then there was screaming, and shoving, and... 273 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,708 I'm listening to you. 274 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,835 So, then there was screaming, and shoving, 275 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,589 and somehow Mrs. Pritchard, the art teacher, 276 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,342 was called a lonely, old skank... 277 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,844 - And went home, crying. - Right. 278 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:47,434 I'm calling it RanchGate, because I enjoy puns. 279 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,686 That's not really a pun. 280 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,105 Just putting "gate" at the end of something isn't a pun. 281 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,440 Anyway, go on. 282 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,110 Both Alice and Summer are suspended. 283 00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,822 I mean, we haven't seen this type of violence since, well, 284 00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:03,407 the last time you were here. 285 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,868 Which begs the question... 286 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,621 How are you and Alice doing? 287 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:13,961 I understand that you have father-daughter tattoos. 288 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,507 Yes, but they are in tasteful and in appropriate locations. 289 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,925 In appropriate. 290 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:25,054 I'm saying in, space, appropriate. Not inappropriate. 291 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:28,808 What I'm trying to articulate to you is that we are doing great. 292 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,059 Everything is back to normal. 293 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,020 Dad, who's this guy? 294 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,564 That's my patient, darling. 295 00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:37,984 Who doesn't wanna be here because his issues stem from high school. 296 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,153 Everybody's issues stem from high school, Dan! 297 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,198 We're done here. 298 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:47,159 So, what did you need to talk to us about? 299 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,745 It's our prospective parent biography, isn't it? 300 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,748 I told you your title sounded like a Grindr profile. 301 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,918 "Two daddies looking for a third"? It worked before, it'll work again. 302 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:58,754 What even is Grindr? Wink. 303 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,340 - Did he say wink? - He said wink. 304 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,426 Anyway, great news. 305 00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:05,178 It rarely happens this fast, 306 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,932 but your biography must've been fine, because a mother has chosen you. 307 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,350 Oh, my God. When? 308 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,021 She's being induced tomorrow. The baby will be yours by dinner. 309 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,772 - Holy shit. - I have a massage... 310 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,650 - That is so exciting. - ...that's too late to cancel. 311 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,739 So, obviously you're grounded until the suspension is over. 312 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:25,823 It was only for today. 313 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,744 This fucking school really knows how to teach a lesson, huh? 314 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,954 So, I'm not allowed to go anywhere until sunset? 315 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,082 No. You can go one place. 316 00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:36,792 You can go talk to Summer. 317 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,295 Why would I do that? 318 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:42,089 I've tried to apologize to Summer so many times about Connor. 319 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,802 Sorry I'm not perfect. I've been fucking grieving. 320 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,473 What? 321 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,267 I've been where you are, 322 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,771 walking around thinking that nobody else's shit compares to mine. 323 00:14:56,772 --> 00:15:00,066 But, kid, just because Mom died doesn't mean we get to go around 324 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,027 thinking that nobody else is dealing with stuff. 325 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:06,280 I mean, do you have any idea what else is going on in Summer's life? 326 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:09,867 Well, she told me she hasn't talked to her dad in a few years. 327 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,161 That must be hard. 328 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,038 And? 329 00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,207 And... 330 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,377 she's been selling her mom's pills. 331 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,127 What else? 332 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:24,508 She said that Connor's the best thing that's happened to her in a while. 333 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,263 Fuck. 334 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:30,722 Fuck. 335 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:32,765 Solid dad work. 336 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,434 I'm on fire lately. 337 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:35,936 Thanks. 338 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,567 - It's so weird that you're still here. - Agreed. 339 00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,610 - You hungry? I'm hungry. - I could eat. 340 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,155 - Look, a spider. - I'm the boss. 341 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,370 Huh? 342 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,456 - Can't believe you actually came. - I gotta be honest, 343 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,835 I didn't really believe you owned a microbrewery. 344 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:04,089 It's real. I've got a full kitchen staff and a bartender named Hector. 345 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,133 - Hector sounds fake. - Yeah. There's no Hector. 346 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,093 Also, I have no idea how to make beer. 347 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,970 Well, I assumed that. Yeah. 348 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,055 Still... 349 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,100 check this out. 350 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,271 Wow. What did you do? 351 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:24,025 Well, I mean, it doesn't make a ton of sense in a brewery, but... 352 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:27,738 Whatever. I'll just make a new beer and call it Hound Dog Ale or some shit. 353 00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,405 Drunk people love dogs. 354 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,490 That is how I started fostering. 355 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:35,120 I got drunk on merlot and the next day decided to save every dog in the world. 356 00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:41,084 Look, I can tell you're going through a rough time. 357 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,379 I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes. 358 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:49,258 You're so cool, and funny, and talented. 359 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,969 I mean, look at these photos. 360 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,557 You see the world in a way nobody else does. 361 00:16:57,518 --> 00:17:01,313 I can't even tell you how much this means to me. 362 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:06,234 Lizzie, I'd do anything for you. 363 00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:21,458 Sorry. I have to go. I can't do this. 364 00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:27,047 Fuck. 365 00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:32,385 For a third first date, biking is a pretty big swing, 366 00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:36,055 but luckily, I have this supes cute biking outfit, 367 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,225 and I think it's fire. 368 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,852 Wow. 369 00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:42,645 Wow as in, like, I look good, 370 00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,564 or wow as in, I just got a lot of camel toe? 371 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:46,941 Wow as in, goddamn, you look good. 372 00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,901 Well, then I think I just might... 373 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,404 keep this bad boy. 374 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,406 All right, please tell me we don't have to bike far. 375 00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:55,658 Just, like, 200 yards to the park, you know? 376 00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:58,369 We'll sit, have some wine, 377 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,830 talk about how much more we wanna bike but we never do. 378 00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:02,498 I love almost exercising 379 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:03,625 - as an excuse to drink. - Yeah. 380 00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:07,378 Well, what kind of wine did you-- 381 00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,671 Thank God you're home. 382 00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:12,175 I'm sorry to interrupt what I can only assume is a camel toe intervention. 383 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:13,551 I knew it. 384 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,803 It was cute. 385 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:19,223 They wanna give us a baby, like, tomorrow, and I am losing my shit! 386 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:22,185 Charlie sent me out for supplies, but I don't know what a baby needs, 387 00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:25,314 so I panicked and got 20 diapers and a tiny chicken costume. 388 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:27,982 That's cute. It's making my ovaries tingle. 389 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:29,735 That's either really good for me or really bad. 390 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,865 We weren't supposed to be paired this fast. 391 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,034 I've only read one baby book. 392 00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:38,994 Started one baby book. 393 00:18:39,912 --> 00:18:41,078 Fine, I bought a baby book. 394 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,288 Just get to the truth. 395 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,706 I don't even have a baby book! 396 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,958 - There we go. - There's no time to childproof the house, 397 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,793 buy a car seat, eat for two. 398 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,670 I want my nine months! 399 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,964 Why don't you just tell your husband you're not ready yet? 400 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,300 No, other Derrick. I went back and forth too much 401 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,469 when we started the whole baby thing. 402 00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:58,596 You might not know this about me, but I flip flop a lot. 403 00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,848 - I picked that up. - I don't flip flop that much. 404 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,726 Oh, my God. I'm flip flopping on flip flopping. 405 00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:05,561 I promised Charlie that I was ready, 406 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,147 and now if I say that I'm not, he'll never trust me again. 407 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,982 He already thinks I have one foot out the baby door, 408 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:10,900 which, by the way, 409 00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:13,152 we'll have to add to our house if the doggy door's too small. 410 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,487 Are baby doors even a thing? 411 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,113 - No. - No. 412 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,407 Please help me. I am begging you. 413 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,744 Brian, have a seat, okay? 414 00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:23,496 Look, I know that this is hard and scary. 415 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:27,250 - Yeah. - But I promise you I will think about it, 416 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:31,671 while Derrick and I exercise for ten seconds and then get super drunk. 417 00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,589 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 418 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,008 No, it's okay. 419 00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:39,762 How about this? You call Charlie and everyone you trust, 420 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,806 we'll get in the sea about it, and we'll figure it out. 421 00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:43,516 - Okay. - Yeah? 422 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:45,643 Yeah, that sounds great. I like that. Let's do that. 423 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:48,856 - All right. I'll get you some water. - Thank you. I'm so thirsty. 424 00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:50,649 How did he know? 425 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,692 I like him. 426 00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:56,487 He makes me simultaneously feel calm and horny. 427 00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:57,573 Me too. 428 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:02,118 And if I don't get to fuck him tonight, I'ma murder you. 429 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,494 - Okay. - Okay? 430 00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,288 - I understand. - Okay. 431 00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:06,622 I get what you're saying, 432 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,541 but I thought you were excited about seeing Jorge. 433 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,711 I was, but that was because he was the only guy in our squad 434 00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,172 who was always in a good place, 435 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,840 and now he wants to see me 'cause he's fucking struggling. 436 00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:17,341 Well, people struggle. 437 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:20,220 I know, but what advice can I give him? 438 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,973 Get kicked out of your place? Move in with your shrink? 439 00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,809 I mean, I am the last guy he should be leaning on. 440 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,770 I wouldn't lead with any of that stuff. 441 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,815 But, Dan, maybe you could tell Sean 442 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,817 what made it easier for you to open up to me. 443 00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:37,612 Is it because he looks like a sad oak tree? 444 00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:40,072 Say what you want, Paul, but just this morning, 445 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,825 a woman told me I was one of the five hottest guys she'd ever been with. 446 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,327 So, fifth? 447 00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:46,455 Fourth. Suck it. 448 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:48,290 Anyways. Dan. 449 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:50,626 Well, 450 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,505 honestly, I think I started opening up the day you said you were... 451 00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:57,090 you were lonely too. 452 00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:00,676 Guess I wanted a therapist as screwed up as I was. 453 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,639 If that's the case, bull's-eye. 454 00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:08,018 But you're right, fucked-up people are good at helping fucked-up people. 455 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:09,853 I mean, look at us. 456 00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:12,606 What do you say? 457 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,566 Oh, shit. 458 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:17,485 - Hey, Brian. What's up? - Thank God you picked up. 459 00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,529 I thought you'd have work or something boring. 460 00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,030 Jimmy, listen, you have no idea... 461 00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:24,534 We all know he's gonna go on for a while before I have to say anything, so... 462 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:25,702 Sorry. Sean, continue. 463 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,288 Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll see him. 464 00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:31,583 Thanks, Jimmy's-other-patient. 465 00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,752 Didn't I see you this morning? 466 00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:35,337 Are you okay? 467 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,881 - Is he holding you against your will? - Yes. 468 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:41,259 No, Dan, you want to be here. 469 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,969 - I changed my mind. - No, you did not. 470 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,053 Paul, he did not. 471 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:46,097 I'll get you a list of other therapists. 472 00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,892 It's nothing personal. I do it for all of Jimmy's patients. 473 00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,645 I gotta go see Alice. 474 00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:54,105 Are you even listening to a word I'm saying? 475 00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:56,274 - Oh, shit. - I will start over. I swear to God. 476 00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,235 Brian, of course I'm listening to you. 477 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,404 Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. 478 00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:02,948 I'm suspended, I have nothing better to do. 479 00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:06,910 Did your dad lose his shit? 480 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:10,330 Well, he grounded me for three whole hours. 481 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,750 How'd your mom take it? 482 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:17,003 She got kicked out of Casino Morongo last night, 483 00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:19,923 so I think this is pretty low on her priority list. 484 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,466 - Damn. - Yeah. 485 00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:26,138 - What'd she do? - She put the dice in her mouth again. 486 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,561 This is all my fault. 487 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,982 I fucked you over, and you really didn't deserve it. 488 00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:41,777 I mean, everybody bailed on me when Mom died but you stuck by me, 489 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:44,947 and I've been so fucking selfish, 490 00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:48,827 and I haven't thought about all of the shit that you've been dealing with. 491 00:22:49,453 --> 00:22:51,997 It won't happen again. Promise. 492 00:22:53,165 --> 00:22:53,999 Thanks. 493 00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,044 I love you. 494 00:22:57,628 --> 00:22:58,962 I love you. 495 00:23:07,346 --> 00:23:08,847 What are you gonna do about Connor? 496 00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:13,142 Okay. So, fall break I'm gonna kiss him 497 00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:16,312 and then I'm gonna cry, and I'm gonna say, "That was a mistake." 498 00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:20,525 And then during his midterms, I'm gonna soft launch a boyfriend. 499 00:23:20,526 --> 00:23:22,109 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. Like, at dinner, 500 00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,903 with the guy hand, you know? 501 00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:27,574 And then I'm gonna get back with him on Thanksgiving, 502 00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:30,118 but I'm gonna say I'm too full to hook up. 503 00:23:31,912 --> 00:23:34,248 I am loving this revenge arc for you. 504 00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:37,792 Ch-Cheater, cheater, cheater bitch. 505 00:23:37,793 --> 00:23:41,588 Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheater biatch. 506 00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:43,549 Hey. 507 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,133 How do I keep running into you? 508 00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,134 Alice couldn't make it. 509 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,929 She's with Summer, so I told her I'd let you know. 510 00:23:49,930 --> 00:23:51,557 Why didn't you just call? 511 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:55,142 Well... 512 00:23:55,143 --> 00:23:58,104 Oh, God, no. 513 00:23:58,105 --> 00:24:01,233 {\an8}Relax. I know the rules. 514 00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:04,278 Tropical. The good shit. 515 00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:12,285 - Thanks for coming, everyone. - Yeah. 516 00:24:12,286 --> 00:24:14,537 I still fricking can't believe that by "get in the sea" 517 00:24:14,538 --> 00:24:16,372 you meant get in the sea. I thought it was, like, 518 00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:18,541 a metaphor where he was like, "Oh, no." 519 00:24:18,542 --> 00:24:22,003 Like, "Our profits are down," like, "Let's get in the sea on it." 520 00:24:22,004 --> 00:24:23,379 Nope. 521 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:27,675 The ocean is a magical place. It helps you see things clearly. 522 00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:29,385 Well, still not the worst fucking date I had. 523 00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:31,554 - Hey, Jimmy? What the fuck are you doing? - Yeah. 524 00:24:31,555 --> 00:24:33,806 I'm still not supposed to get my tattoo wet. 525 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:39,312 Bri, I'm freezing my titties off. Is this working? You getting any clarity? 526 00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:40,397 Yeah. 527 00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:44,525 I don't think Jimmy should've gotten a tattoo. It's stupid on him. 528 00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:45,610 It's really bad, Jimmy. 529 00:24:45,611 --> 00:24:49,447 Also, I can't handle a kid right now, 530 00:24:49,448 --> 00:24:54,410 but I know that it could be ages before we get another chance. 531 00:24:54,411 --> 00:24:59,916 So, like... So we just say yes, ready or not? 532 00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:01,376 Question. 533 00:25:03,754 --> 00:25:04,588 Brian, right? 534 00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:06,672 Yes, Jimmy's patient. 535 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,758 This has all been about how you feel, 536 00:25:08,759 --> 00:25:12,011 which reminds me of when I hang out with my pal, Stan. 537 00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:16,350 Everyone's checking on him and his feelings, but never mine. 538 00:25:16,934 --> 00:25:19,352 So as a guy who is also overlooked, 539 00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,105 did anyone ever ask your husband how he feels? 540 00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:26,108 I'm terrified. 541 00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:29,403 What? You're terrified? Why didn't you say something? 542 00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:32,740 I feel like I have to be the brave one, even though I'm just as scared as you. 543 00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:35,076 But I want the nine months. 544 00:25:35,077 --> 00:25:38,996 I wanna get the call to the hospital and have a cute, little backpack. 545 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,457 Too cold for a speech, Charlie! 546 00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,043 Babe, I love you. 547 00:25:46,630 --> 00:25:49,466 We shouldn't have a baby until the time is right for both of us. 548 00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:52,468 - Really? - Really. 549 00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:54,888 We're not having a baby! 550 00:26:07,693 --> 00:26:08,694 You ever gonna talk? 551 00:26:10,612 --> 00:26:11,780 Mac kissed me. 552 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:14,199 Who could've seen that coming? 553 00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:19,246 Full disclosure, I should say that... 554 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:23,709 we kissed each other. 555 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:27,044 What the fuck? Why are you laughing? 556 00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:28,881 Life, I guess. 557 00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:33,593 I just recently had to face my own infidelity, 558 00:26:33,594 --> 00:26:36,013 20 years after the fact. 559 00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:37,471 How'd that go? 560 00:26:37,472 --> 00:26:39,182 We're friends again 561 00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:42,269 which means I have to talk to her on the phone every week, so... 562 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:44,605 not good. 563 00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:46,689 How do I fix this? 564 00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,734 Easy. Time machine. 565 00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:53,988 I just keep trying to figure out why I did this. 566 00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:55,490 - This isn't ab-- - It doesn't matter. 567 00:26:56,074 --> 00:26:58,368 There are a million reasons why, and I've heard 'em all. 568 00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:03,539 Feeling neglected, lost, lacking purpose, 569 00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:06,501 empty nest, big birthday coming up. 570 00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,128 I don't have birthdays anymore. 571 00:27:08,712 --> 00:27:09,880 That must be nice. 572 00:27:10,506 --> 00:27:12,256 What am I supposed to do now? 573 00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:13,675 Well, you can bury it, 574 00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,470 try and live with the guilt, 575 00:27:17,304 --> 00:27:21,558 hope that it motivates you to become a better partner. 576 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:23,893 But in my experience, 577 00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:29,607 most people end up tortured by what they did forever and ever. 578 00:27:29,608 --> 00:27:30,608 Or? 579 00:27:30,609 --> 00:27:35,072 Or you could come clean, face the repercussions, 580 00:27:36,323 --> 00:27:40,577 and hope that that motivates you to become a stronger couple. 581 00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:42,578 But in my experience, 582 00:27:42,579 --> 00:27:45,831 most people end up tortured by the guilt forever and ever. 583 00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,458 Well, there's gotta be a third choice. 584 00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:50,128 Well, I hear they're very close to space travel. 585 00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:55,675 - What would you do? - Oh, Liz. I... 586 00:27:55,676 --> 00:27:57,636 Come on. Please, tell me. 587 00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:03,016 Secrets have a way of getting out. 588 00:28:05,143 --> 00:28:07,437 There's not a secret that I ever kept 589 00:28:08,856 --> 00:28:11,608 that I didn't wish I'd told the fucking person. 590 00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:24,329 These are disgusting. 591 00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:26,164 Give 'em back. 592 00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:35,882 Wow, another weird almost-date, 593 00:28:35,883 --> 00:28:39,595 except this time I'm dressed like a ashy beach hippie. 594 00:28:42,264 --> 00:28:43,431 I'm gonna kiss you. 595 00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:45,558 You know it's just, like... 596 00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:47,310 - It's better if you just do it. - Damn it. 597 00:28:47,311 --> 00:28:49,103 Please tell me I didn't mess this up. 598 00:28:49,104 --> 00:28:51,981 Look, I knew I shouldn't have taken you to, like, the sea. 599 00:28:51,982 --> 00:28:53,066 That was, like, so... 600 00:29:00,741 --> 00:29:01,574 Yep. 601 00:29:01,575 --> 00:29:04,368 Do you wanna get in my sea? 602 00:29:04,369 --> 00:29:06,287 Sorry. I don't know why I said that. 603 00:29:06,288 --> 00:29:07,581 Just erase that from your mind. 604 00:29:09,458 --> 00:29:12,127 But I really like you, Derrick. 605 00:29:13,504 --> 00:29:16,048 Same. Like, a lot. 606 00:29:19,092 --> 00:29:22,428 Help me find a reason to not fuck you immediately, 607 00:29:22,429 --> 00:29:24,388 because I wanna just kind of do this... 608 00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:27,100 - Right. - ...whole thing right. 609 00:29:30,103 --> 00:29:32,438 - Can't think of anything. Let's go do it. - Sir. 610 00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:34,857 - Yeah. All right. - Please. I almost did it. 611 00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:36,442 - I almost sprinted up there. - I know. Okay. 612 00:29:36,443 --> 00:29:37,778 - All right, jokes aside. - Yeah. 613 00:29:39,154 --> 00:29:41,364 We can't because for one, 614 00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:44,742 I am covered in sand. 615 00:29:44,743 --> 00:29:46,786 As am I, yeah. And that would just be 616 00:29:46,787 --> 00:29:48,497 - just painful, awful. - Yeah. 617 00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:51,290 This is okay, right? 618 00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:55,087 Of course. I'm gonna go see Keisha anyway, so... 619 00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:58,047 You crazy. 620 00:29:58,048 --> 00:29:59,841 All right. Well, good night. 621 00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:00,967 Night. 622 00:30:00,968 --> 00:30:02,052 Thanks. 623 00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:05,973 I wanted to talk to you guys about something. 624 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,517 Summer and I made up today, which was great, 625 00:30:09,518 --> 00:30:11,894 but she said the thing that hurt her the most 626 00:30:11,895 --> 00:30:14,313 was the fact that I hadn't been honest with her, 627 00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:18,985 and I just think we should tell my dad that we've been talking to you, Louis. 628 00:30:18,986 --> 00:30:21,112 - I think it's the right thing to do. - I agree. 629 00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:22,364 I do too. 630 00:30:24,575 --> 00:30:28,077 But I'm just wondering if there's any way 631 00:30:28,078 --> 00:30:32,081 you can be strong and brave and tell Jimmy, 632 00:30:32,082 --> 00:30:38,004 and I can sort of not be mentioned, or be part of it at all, in any way. 633 00:30:38,005 --> 00:30:40,007 - I don't think you wanna be that guy. - Boo. 634 00:30:40,591 --> 00:30:43,009 So, we're going with me also being strong and brave? 635 00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:45,637 Got it. Great. 636 00:30:48,390 --> 00:30:50,350 You think scarf lady's still here? 637 00:30:52,311 --> 00:30:54,020 I mean, it's been seven hours. 638 00:30:54,021 --> 00:30:55,938 Yeah, you're right. Oh, by the way, 639 00:30:55,939 --> 00:30:58,817 that Derrick dude was the most handsome man I've ever seen. 640 00:30:59,401 --> 00:31:00,735 Yeah, one of the most handsome. 641 00:31:00,736 --> 00:31:03,655 No. Like, the most handsome man. 642 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,450 Today was a fun day. 643 00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:10,787 Even if we didn't kick anything's ass. 644 00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:15,042 Dan, think about all the stuff you did today. 645 00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:19,378 You went to a high school, you talked to strangers, 646 00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:21,964 you got undressed and got in the ocean 647 00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:23,967 around a bunch of people you'd never even met before. 648 00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:26,719 And yes, at first I had to prod you to get you to talk, 649 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,222 but by the end, you were out there, doggy paddling, 650 00:31:29,223 --> 00:31:31,058 dropping truth bombs in your tighty-whities. 651 00:31:31,683 --> 00:31:32,975 Those were boxers. 652 00:31:32,976 --> 00:31:35,978 Well, they're snug, but they look great. 653 00:31:35,979 --> 00:31:37,813 Yeah, I think the scariest part 654 00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:42,486 was hanging out one-on-one for ten minutes with that terrifying teenage girl. 655 00:31:43,237 --> 00:31:44,654 She was batshit. 656 00:31:44,655 --> 00:31:46,949 - Again, that's my daughter. - Nice kid. 657 00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:49,159 But, yeah, if you can handle her, 658 00:31:50,661 --> 00:31:52,538 you can handle Stan's wedding. 659 00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:57,834 This means your hot streak's still going, right? 660 00:31:57,835 --> 00:31:59,169 Fuck yeah, it is. 661 00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:03,006 - You want a hug? - Not ever. 662 00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:08,679 And then, you know, I stopped and left. 663 00:32:10,013 --> 00:32:11,723 It was so stupid. 664 00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:14,685 I know you must be so hurt. 665 00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:19,398 Please, say something. 666 00:32:20,941 --> 00:32:22,108 How long was the kiss? 667 00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:23,150 What? 668 00:32:23,151 --> 00:32:24,403 How long was it? 669 00:32:25,946 --> 00:32:29,574 I'll do Cincinnati, and you tell me to stop. 670 00:32:29,575 --> 00:32:32,952 You know, like one Cincinnati, two Cincinnati. 671 00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:35,204 - It's Mississippi. - I do Cincinnati. 672 00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:36,123 Okay. 673 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,459 One Cincinnati. 674 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:42,713 Are you fucking kidding me? 675 00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:46,216 - Two Cincinnat-- - Stop. 676 00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:49,218 So it was two Cincinnatis. 677 00:32:49,219 --> 00:32:53,056 No. It was, like, one Cincinnati and a Cincinnat. 678 00:32:53,932 --> 00:32:54,933 Liz... 679 00:32:57,311 --> 00:33:00,730 I support you in everything you do. 680 00:33:00,731 --> 00:33:03,149 You signed us up to foster dogs, 681 00:33:03,150 --> 00:33:06,069 you basically adopted our neighbor's child. 682 00:33:08,071 --> 00:33:12,450 You make jokes about me. Who cares? They bounce off. 683 00:33:12,451 --> 00:33:13,535 You know why? 684 00:33:14,077 --> 00:33:14,911 No. 685 00:33:14,912 --> 00:33:19,790 Because deep down, I thought we were so solid. 686 00:33:19,791 --> 00:33:20,958 We are. 687 00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:23,003 I don't ask you for much. 688 00:33:24,421 --> 00:33:25,422 Ever. 689 00:33:26,173 --> 00:33:28,884 You knew how I felt about that fucking guy, 690 00:33:29,510 --> 00:33:31,053 and you did this anyway. 691 00:33:33,931 --> 00:33:36,224 Wait. I'm sorry. 692 00:33:36,225 --> 00:33:38,185 I didn't mean for this to happen. 693 00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:40,144 I wanna figure it out. 694 00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:42,481 We can figure this out. 695 00:33:44,107 --> 00:33:47,193 Look, at least I told you. 696 00:33:47,194 --> 00:33:52,490 Isn't that better that I told you, than you find out on your own? 697 00:33:52,491 --> 00:33:53,575 Right? 698 00:33:54,117 --> 00:33:55,369 Gotta give me one. 699 00:33:57,913 --> 00:34:00,998 Hey, crush it at that wedding. 700 00:34:00,999 --> 00:34:02,042 Thanks, Jimmy. 701 00:34:30,779 --> 00:34:31,780 Fuck. 53747

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