Original subtitles

now gently,gently,ever so gently

we probe the bones and fleshy tissue

searching for the object pressing the patients nerve

hes been at it for over two hours what a great doctor

and so cute

aha!and there it is

doctor Jekyll,you"re so bitchin

control yourself nurse

sor-ry!

and now we must quickly remove the object

restoring the patients motor functions

impressive!

very imressive Dr. Carrew

I'm glad you approve,sir!

Dr Jekyll is the finest surgeon we ever had at our lady of pain and suffering

Its only fitting that he preform the worlds first total transplant

on you, the worlds richest man,Hubert Howes

Have I told you how proud we are to be preforming the operation here at our lady?

several times

you're a... kiss ass aren't you

yes sir!

I like that

Dr Jekyll:Now by stimulating different isolated areas of the cortex

we can demonstrate that all normal function have been restored

arm movement

even finger movement

now we must close the scalp

needle and thread

thimble

he has the steadiest hands I ever seen

now, are there any question?

does a good physician validate parking?

thats a matter of individual conscience

sir,what new surgical breakthroughs are you planning?

Actually none....I am giving up surgery

I'm sorry class this is the last operation i will ever preform

Barbera Plow, I'm a resident specializing in nuclear medicine

and I can really get behind everything you're saying and everything..

but,it really just blows my mind you know to think you'll never be operating again

because you're so mellow and everything you know

and like,it really like freaks me out to the max

to think that you're quitting on me

and like couldn't you do one more operation for us..please

please,please,please

no...no,no,no,no

from now on,I intend to devote every waking hour to research

research,that i hope will one day unlock mans brain and release

survival instincts

enabling to make himself well

research that will one day eliminate the costly,painful,almost inhumane procedure

we now call.. surgery

patient:owww!

Dr. Jekyll,what do you intend to replace suergery with?

Drugs

(interns cheering)

Don't worry sir,he'll be leaning over you friday with a knife

rest assured

if this operation,doesn't come on...

I'll buy this whole block...

I'll blow up this building....

with you tied in you're office...

and I'll dig the corpse out of the rubble and throw it in an open pit

in front of your whole family

Jekyll

Jekyll

Jekyll

What the hell was that nonsense you were spouting in there

I wasn't spouting nonsense... I was spouting the truth

Truth?truth won't buy a used turd my boy

I don't feel like getting into a physological discussion,i got work to do.

let me go

No

I'm asking you man to man

let go of my smock

sure I'll let you go so you can preform the most important operation of your life

on Hubert howes

Hubert Howes?

Ahhh Haaa Haaa!

I thought that would interest you

He has chosen our lady and you to do the worlds first total transplant

total transplant?

thats right heart,liver,lungs,reproductive organs and anything else we can dig up

soon as we gather them up we're gonna stick'em in him

and you're doing the job

I'm sorry,ther was a time when the challenge would have appealed to me

but right now my research....

Screw your research!

you signed on here as a surgean and by god thats what you're gonna be

later

look at all that machinery

those gizmos cost money

big money

we got to keep those machines working to pay for them

they help people back from the brink of death

and the only way to put'em on the birnk of death is surgery

you have a strange attitude for a hero

you have a strange attitude for a man engaged to my daughter!

i own this place,i gotta keep an oven to pay the rent

I make money,my daughter benefits you benefit.... its simple

ugly perhaps,but simple

I'm late

you're doing that operation!

No I'm not!

You can tell Hubert Howes to stick it up his ass

He doesn't have an ass! thats another thing we're transplanting!

I'm late for my rounds in the charity ward

Jekyll,I swear I'll stop the marriage

I don't believe you would use your daughter

as a pawn in this sleazy affair

you don't?

maybe he would

how are you feeling today?

terrible doctor

since last night my back has been a miserable pain

I smell death!

lets have a look,shall we?

you'll feel a brief pain

feel better?

oh yes!

its a miracle!

the pain is gone...

...and so is the smell of death!

you get some rest now

how are we today?

Owww!

Hi, Daniel

Hello sick people!

Good afternoon Ms. Carrew

Good afternoon,Carla

Mary,what are you doing here?

well....

I was suppose to have lunch today

with a certain young, successful,handsome brilliant surgean,but i guess he forgot

You're seeing another man?

I'm talking about you silly!

Oh,I'm sorry about lunch dear..

..its just that I have alot on my mind

My research,the charity work

the daughter I adopted from the developing nation...

read that,i have to answer the letter she wrote

dear American fraud

the day will come when you and the other dogs of imperialism

will be disembowed by the subjegated masses

on your bones will be left to rot under the sun of revolution...

P.S. thank you for the combs!

How sweet!

Her vocabulary is really improving

Shes a lovely girl...

(patient mumbling)

What did you say?

Fucking blue cross!

Look at this poor, suffering soul

If only I could make his survival instincts stronger

Thats the key!

Daniel,could you walk me back to my car before you go back to work?

Of course

Daniel,you got to stop working so hard!

Guess i'm not much of a fiance' am i dear

Its you i'm worried about

I'm sorry dear..I'll try to be more fun

Its just hard right now

My experiments aren't going great...

you're fathers on me about operating on some senile old billionaire

My hairs thinning out in the back

Daddy told me you're giving up surgery

Yes

I know what you're thinking Daniel...

You're thinking that if you still don't make alot of money,I won't marry you

I wasn't thinking that

I was

Uh,Mary!

Sometimes I question your values

Oh,don't

anyway we're gonna be fine darling,because...

I took the notes for your experiment

and i submitted them to the prize committee

Really?!

Mary!

I know you're gonna win the prize..500,000 dollars

you know my research is a private thing

you violated my sacred trust for a few dollars

honey,we've gotta eat

Hi kids,all for a nueter?

whats a nueter?

never mind,Daniel

Hi Newt you devil

thats me!

now Daniel,don't work to hard you need to rest

I'll rest on our honeymoon

not if i can help it

Bye gorgeous

bye,bye!

What a beauty, huh?

yeah,but its a gas guzzler

I'm talking about Mary

thank god they're not all like her I'd be out of plastic surgery business

Oh,by the way

what do you think of my nose?

I took a little off the top this morning, just a trim

I ah, did it myself

you didn't notice did you?

Hey Jek...

Hey Jekyll

Wait up!

You're looking awful tired these days old buddy

come to my office I'll do a quick eye job on you.

people are starting to talk about you

Intercom:would a proctologist report to the emergency room

There is an asshole waiting

I know my theory is correct

man over the centuries...

man over the centuries has tried to control nature with his intellect

And it is this question which is at the root of human suffering and illness

If only the animal in man can be released...

and studied....

if mans primal survival instincts could be tapped

for the good of the organism as a whole...

So far dear diary my results have been discouraging

after administering formulas one through six in test rats..

no perceivable results are noticed

little guy remains listless and depressed

modified formula 137 administered must also be deemed a failure

I shall have to begin again

(knock at door)

Just a minute

(knocking again)

Yes?

I'm sorry to bother you Doctor

thats all right

Now who is it?

Doctor,theres a young lady in emergency...

I can't find Dr.Lucas..

Alright

Alright, whats the problem?

She seems to have a foriegn object lodged in her....

v-a-g-i-n-a

Uh,lets go

C'mon,lets get this shit over with

Wheres the foriegn object?

this is going to be difficult...

we'll need a speculum,syringe..

ten cc's of librium and a bucket of ice cold water

Goddamn,son of a bitch!

Syonora

Now..

what are you looking at?

Nothing..absolutely nothing

Oh,shit

What

on top of everything else,I got a hole in my only classy pair of panty hose

Oh god!

I'm sorry about you're panty hose...

Umm.., here!

...I've got some money

Ten dollars is all I've got.. ...Take it

Oh sure,you give me ten bucks and i'm suppose to give you head,right?

Head?whats head?

Oh!No!No head!

My head is fine...I don't need head

Really?

No sex?

No..sex...

Sex is the furthest thing from my mind right now

So.. if you'll excuse me I've gotta get back to my cock

My lab..I gotta get back to my lab

Wait!

Whats your name,nice doctor

Jack-kyll

chockter Jangle

chocktor janieil jeckyll

Doctor ..Daniel...Jekyll

Oh,I'm Ivy

You're kinda sweet

Ummm,I work at a club in Chinatown

Madam Woowoo's

Why don't you visit me sometime

Save the whales!

Dr. Jekyll?

Dr. Jekyll!

This mans hands were severed in an accident

You're so lucky,you're getting one of our finest surgeons

How do you do?

Ohhh...I see

Thanks....

...I'll get my wife to sew it on

Midnight?

I must work

Experimental formula 142...

...No good

Experimental formula 143,botched completely

I'm too tired to continue tonight

Possibility of error due to exhaustion is uh....

Tommorrow..

I'll start again.... tommorrow

Uh oh

Babe!

Lets...get..down!

Take it!...Take it buddy!

Oh,thank you you very much

Beat it,dickhead!

Hey,how am i suppose to get out

Right this way asshole

Hi! Hi! Hi!

Hiiiii...

Is this seat taken?

Yeah

Excuse me,I said, is this seat taken?

No

Oh...that burns

Hi!

I said hi!

give me some chicken sushi

Chicken sushi?

Aye packaroo!

Now for your listening endurment...

Madam Woowoo's is ashamed to present Ivy and the shitty rainbows

Oye vey

You guys are all alike

Just because i work in a bar you think i'm an easy lay

It pisses me off...it really does

Come on, you hoser

You're probably thinking the only thing i think about is bed

Ok, how do you want it?front to front back to back,side to side....

Sitting,kneeling,squating,laying,licking..

I want it all ways!

You're the Doctor

What,what do you mean I'm the doctor?

You get whatever you want

Oh,of course

Sorry I've been under terrible, terrible stress at work

Oh,what do you do?

I'm a chrysler dealer

Oh ...that nice

You get out from under there little teddy

Ivey has work to do,say good night ....say good night

You're beauty is classy... ...I know class

You,cute too... whats your name?

Oh come on,you don't have anything to hide from me

Hide, huh

Nothing to hide

Whats so funny?!

Nothing

Thats my name...

Hyde..,Mr. Hyde

Don't you have a first name?

No!..my parents lacked imagination

I'm Ivy Venus

Pleased to meet ya!

You shake hands weird

You in a fraternity?

Ohhh...no more wire hangers ever

I'm ruined!

How far into the muck of my beast have I distanted

That far?

Mary

Mary

I'll never do it again,Mary!

No peasents

Yes ma'am

Out!...out!

You can't go in there!

Now posting for your pleasure our final entrent...

....Ms. Mary Carrew

Ms.Carrew is atop a beautiful plain gelding called..

A gift from daddy

On court please

Mary!

Daniel

Mary i have to talk to you

What is it dear?

Mary I've been such a fool!

Can you forgive me for the way I neglected you?

I forgive you darling

I've been such a fool!

Mary!

I love you so much it hurts!

I love you too!

Mary,Mary

Mary, precious,I can't live without you

Lets get married tommorrow!

Oh,of course darling

You made me so happy

I'm on top of the world

you win first place... congratulations!

You were wonderful darling

Oh...good morning

Who is that?

Jekyll

This won't hurt ,huh?

Not that I give a shit

A trifle...a trifle

Is Mr. Howes still alive?

Okay

Mr Howes?

Mr Howes...I brought one of your organ donors

Which one?

Him,sir

Which organ, you fool

Oh,this donor has signed on to donate one of his testicals

Which one?

Him,sir

Which testical idiot!

The left one,sir

That correct?

Yeah

I'm right handed

Mr Howe,may I say its an honor to be able to do this for you

hell I admire you more than any living...

...Or almost living man

All over some used testicals

Carrew!

The box!

Yes sir,yes sir

Mr Howes wonders why you admire him so much....

....and you're only donating one testical

Damn man,I'd give my left nut for capitalism,but not both of'em

Mr Howes will pay you an additional fifty thousand dollars for the paradise

No way!

He ups his bid to one hundred thousand for the dangling beauties

Huh-uh

Balls!I need balls!

One million dollars!

Would you consider these sir? they're barely used

Peanuts!

May i suggest...

I'll take the million

You'll like these

Were do I go doc?

C'mon..I'll take you to the organ donor center

Carrew!

Get back here

I...yes

My TV camera hasn't picked up Dr.Jekyll anywhere today

He's ahh resting for the big operation,sir

So he's ready to operate?

Oh,yes

Good..

Good

Otherwise...

Hospital blown up..

... me in it...

...body in a pit..

I know

I know

Uhh... control

That was easy

No problem

How stupid of me

What if this had been flushed out to sea?

How selfish of me not to think of the dolphins and the whales and the pelicans

and...there could be damage by this how terrible...

Terrible

I'll just weigh it first to see how much I'm actually throwing out

Thats important!

Important scientific data

Official weight...

Alot!

Uh..I'm acting like a two year old baby!

Why throw it away?

I worked hard to come up with this stuff

I should save it

For future experiments

For future experiments... thats it,not all of it

Just a little tiny bit say... all of it

Not that I would take any myself

No... I'll get rid of it!

Who needs it

Not me!

I've got self control

I wonder...

...Whos pictures on a dollar bill?

Oh sure!...George Washington!

Hi George!

Bye George!

Its madness..

I have a wonderful women who loves me...

A good career,respect of my peers

Oh,what the hell..one line won't hurt

Ooooh,I shouldn't have done it!

Easy,easy...

You'll be fine

You were very brave donating both of your testicals

(high pitched voice)Watch it buddy!

Hey buddy,what are you doing

Hey,get the hell out of there you maniac

Wanna go for a ride?

Cut'em

Hi!

Alright...

Pieces of dueces are wild

Yoooohoooo!

Wheres Ivy?

Oh,...hi!

Pearl Harbor buddy!

Wheres Ivy?

Out

Where?

Why should we tell you?

(All)Shes at the supermarket!

Yeah...smooth

Hey...hey,what are you doing?

Hey...hey let me go!

IVY!

Ivy...

Mom?

(dog barking)

Quit playing with other dogs

My love!

You shop here?

I'm shopping for you!

We'll make the grapes into wine my pumpkin,princess

Not here ,what do you think this is...a Kmart?

Lets go back to your palace my queen

Where we'll find the fruits of passion

You pay for the groceries

Yes!

I love your hair.... ....who does it?

Ten items or less?

(Counting)

Eleven?...shit!

Whats the big deal..get in line!

No,no,no,no,no!

Meet me at the other end

Here!

Great van!

I didn't know you were a surfer!

(mans voice)Thats my feet jack!

Mary!

Mary

Mary

(dogs barking)

(whispering)...Mary

Hey!...theres a man on the ledge he look like he might fall

Is he white?

Yeah!

Let him!

Mary...

Daniel

Daniel

My bedroom is down here

Whos room is this?

My fathers

Why didn't you come sooner we had a fabulous piece of veal!

Mary ...I'm an unfeeling cad

Oh....its not that bad

I can make us sandwiches with the crust cut off

Or do a pie

Mary?

Yes?

Can we go inside?

My bedroom?

Sure!

Oh... Daniel

Mary I need you

You do?

I want my woman now!

Oh ....Daniel

Take off youe clothes

(Gulp!)

(Turns on soft music)

That was beautiful

Daniel

Hmmm?

Didn't we leave something out?

I don't think so

SO!

I did here my daughter being ravished down here

No...you didn't

Jekyll...you're low ...you,re disgusting...

You come here to my house,to the flower of my most precious possesion

But sir,I decided to preform the operation

You have!

Fuck your brains out kids!

Jekyll:A new day!

A new beginning!

And so dear diary..

I'm becoming a surgeon again and throwing away this damnable potion

Good morning troops!

At ease!

Not that much!

Men...

...We are on the threshold of a new surgical event...

...today we will preform an operation of such magnatude...

That I personally will assist Dr. Jekyll

Thank you..thank you

Of course I could do the whole thing myself

It ain't like I need the boy..

Quiet!..quit fartin around or else

Wheres Dr. Jekyll?!

Jekyll!

Jekyll!

You're on asshole!

We got work to do!

Alright... give me the gas

Lets go Jekyll... ...time is critical

Yes,you,re right...

...this is gonna be a long tough one..

Scalpel!

Um...the sharp thing?

Yes!

Kazongas baby!

Jekyll?

Yes?

Jekyll!

Coming!

Oh my god its happening without the drug!!

Oh..no..no..no..no

Come on...Jekyll!

What the hell is going on?

Nothing..nothing sir

Are you okay doctor?

I'm fine..I'm fine as wine baby!

Doctor you,re engaged!

Jekyll...whats wrong with your voice ...do you want a sucrets?

No..I'm fine ...I,m totally fine

Whoops!

Jekyll get a grip.. ..a mans lifes at stake

Mine!

I'm alright ,sir

Please...let me finish what I was doing

Before its too late for this patient

Organ tray!

Hurry up...the man is wide open

I don't see an ass on there

Cold cuts!

You folks had lunch yet?

Alright...gather up those organs we,re finishing without Jekyll

Not with these organs,sir

Ewww,I smell malpractice

You know what to do doctor

Ewww...gross

I think you'll be very,very happy with the results...

....Mrs. Simpson

It isn't dangerous,is it Dr.Lanely

No..no..no..no

With the new technique...

Complications are unheard of

No incision is even needed

With this new procedure...

We merely need the precise amount of collangen behind the soft tissue

For the results we want to achieve

You'll feel a slight pressure..

...And your breasts will grow in a jiffy

Ready?

See its almost fun,isn't it?

Lanely,you gotta help me!

Jekyll...I uh..

Something has gone wrong..

...with my experiments..

..I really fucked up babe!

Dr.Jekyll,you're not making sense

I can't explain it all right now

All I can tell you is..

Something unexpected and horrible is happening to me..

I change into another person ...An animal..

And I can't help it!

Mmm...ma...ma...ma..gotta..

Get the antidote..

I just,I just left a man in surgery

You've got to help me get the drugs..

To counteract this immediately!

Counteract what?

This!

So do I gotta problem...or not?

Ha!..you think thats bad..

I only used to where this at home..

...now its at the office too..

...And as far as I know there's no antidote for this!

Oh...God!

Oh...Dr Lanely..

A minor problem Mrs Simpson I can get them back to normal

Oh no...don't you touch a thing

Oh...my!

Bernies gonna love these!

lets go home

I must get some more!

If that little wimp threw it all away,I'll kill'em

I'll absolutely kill'em

We better get back to the operation

Ah..shut up

(Boing)

Owwww!

Dr Jekyll?

Yes...I am Dr Jekyll

Telegram for you,sir

Telegram...

...thank you!

(Boing)

Owww!

Bad news?

Help me..help us..

I'm a drug crazed beast with a giant erection..

That won't go away no matter how many times I do it..

You're a nurse...what can you give me for it?

I can give you sixty dollars and my wedding ring

Bus fair!

I need big money for drugs

Congradulations..

You have won the five hundred thousand dollar prize of medicine..

Award ceremony to be held in London...

I did it!

This'll buy Ivy!

Operater:Remember..You can save time by looking up the number..

You give me the number for Ivy Venus bitch or...

I'll crawl through these wires and eat your tonsils

Alright...alright I'm looking!

Sorry..I'm alittle edgy

Its 555-9843

I could sell my house

Hi..is this godamn thing on?

Oh yeah I anyway I'm at funland leave a message...Hey stop..shit

A very together young lady

Take me with you...

Use me...use me.. ...I'm trash!

Hi dollface!

Rape...rape!

Later...if I have time!

Don't touch me,you dirty hippie

Wheres my mace

(makes ambulance sounds)

Ooop,better pull over its an ambulance

Just one more game!

(Pac-man starts)

Hi..sweetlips!

What are you doing here?

Read this telegram!

What are you doing with this... you got nothing to do with that guy

I happen to know him

Really!

Uh-huh,Dr Daniel Jekyll..

Real nice guy...he helped me out of a tight spot once

You like that little wimp,huh?

Who are you to be putting him down you're not even fit to shine his shoes

Yeah...

I have shined his shoes... these are his shoes!

And his shirt and his pants

You stole his clothes?

Look closely..my dear

Look closely..

What do you see?

A freaked out junkie

Damn

I am the doctor!

You need a doctor

Remember...these...

Where did you get those!

Don't forget the ten bucks I loaned you!

It wasn't you!

I'll explain on our way to London

I'm not going anywhere with you!

Shut up!

Game:..Bite it!

You're coming with me

Leave me alone!

chick-en dames!

Nobody treats Ivy Venus that way..

Come on teddy bear... ...we'll show him

The only way to fly!

I'm gonna kill him...

Give me a one way ticket to London

Excuse me sir..do you have anything to declare?

Man has not evolved as ancient scribes has formed him

Thank you,sir

Now this evenings chairman..

...Lord Alfred Dreck

Ladies and gentlmen...

...The Queen

To Dr.Tellin and Joesph Schnieder..

...Of Israel...

Who will be developing a gas..

That will totally eradicate human lives...

While leaving vegetation undisturbed

It gives me great pleasure to..

...present the five hundred dollar prize for ecology..

Joesph?

Thank you,your majesty

Tonight...we are ten feet tall..

Daniel will be here...I know it

I wouldn't count on it,honey..

The last time I saw him.. he was a different man

He burst in.. pushed me around ...he was covered in hair..

It was very sexy

Daniel...sexy?

Yes..

By the way..have I told you how lovely you look tonight?

No...

Thats only because I hate women

Thank you

Ldies and gentlemen.. ...we thank you!

The five hundred thousand dollar prize for medicine this year...

Is awarded to Dr Daniel Jekyll...

Of the U.S.A.

For harnessing mans animal instincts used for survival..

Accepting on behalf of Dr Jekyll...

Is former oscar winner.. Mr George Shakiry

I know...

My good friend...Dr Jekyll...

Would like you people to know..

This vial of powder... his last chase of work...

Which was found in his lab...

Will be donated to the pulitzer lab for further study

My ass it will!

Thats Jekyll

Oh no..that can't be my Daniel..

Ladies and gentleman...The lovely George Shakiry..take a bow George

Beautiful..beautiful human being

Beautiful..beautiful human being..

Well its great to be back in jolly old England...

Land of royalty..

Bad manners and bad tea!

How about these arabs,huh?

I passed this fancy hotel on my way here tonight...

The doormans parking a camel

The band they love me...

And I love the band..they're great

Five minutes more..

Ladies and gentleman..you got to excuse me.. you must be sitting there thinking..

What a disquise

Cute!

Its funny

But...

Wheres Jekyll...

Jekylls not gonna make it.. ...he took a powder..

Up my nose..Maybe you can see him no..no..no..I'm kidding

Because we are very close

Ahh..In fact he sent me here tonight...

Being the detecated guy he was..

He knew he was gonna succumb to the uhh...

Experiments..He laid dying..

He prepared this deeply...

Involved message

That he wanted delivered

There was a young lady from Glasco who...

Who liked to be touched on the...

Just kidding...just kidding!

You've been swell... you've been a great house

And now we'll go to the musical portion of our show...

Hit it sound!

Ah one, ah two, ah one ,two,three,four!

You can't go in there,its formal

Not dressed like that you,re not

Hey!

Stop him!

Thank you!

Stop in the name of the police

Get out of there maggot.. ...he's mine!

Bitch!

Follow me!

Ivy....

Yooohooo...

I had to do it!

You did right my child

Look!

My God!

Ivy:Whats happening?

Mary:Oh my god!

It is Daniel!

Then Hyde didn't lie to me

You know him?

Know him...this man ravished me day and night

All he thought about was sex...sex...sex...

He wasn't satisfied to orgasm at least twenty times

You're kidding

I wish

My Daniel does nothing like that!

Hes satisfied with stroking my hair and eating in cool resturants

He never even thinks about having sex

Oh...how sweet!

Jekll:Where am I?!

What happened!

Where am I

I'm here for you Daniel

I'm here for you Hyde

Look...

I don't know who you are...

This is Dr Jekyll... ...my fiance'

I'm Ivy and this is my lover

Wait....

Girls...

I can't be either of yours

These terrible experiments...

Have made me realize that I am split into two personalitys...

Well isn't everybody?

I can't reconcile the two

One is good, kind,gentle

Uptight afraid of sex...

Mine!

The Other is..

Rough,evil,sex starved,animalistic

Mine!

We could probably work this out

Couldn't we?

I think so...

I don't think you understa....

Shhh...

We saw what you're thinking,darling

Girls I umm..

Would you like to come up to the palace..

And see the royal sceptor

Your Majesty

Ivy:Hey,maybe we can get a little place together

Mary:I'd like that!

Mary :I'd take care of him in the morning...

Ivy:and I'll take care of him in the afternoon...

Mary:and we both take care of him at night!

Babe!

Subtitles by: Crowsubs