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1
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The assholes wouldn't leave.
2
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I had to call the goddamn Sheriff to cart
them and their scrawny fucktard kids away.
3
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,760
Ah, crap! Goddammit.
4
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Fuck!
5
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I don't know, a dead possum.
6
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:56,460
What a shit hole.
7
00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:01,760
Listen, I gotta go.
Another day, another eviction.
8
00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:08,090
This dump's my home.
9
00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:10,130
The only one I ever had.
10
00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:13,960
Some people may not think much of it.
11
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But me and my buddy Otto
like it here just fine.
12
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:26,050
And the good book says,
"A man's home is his castle
13
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and whosoevereth trespasses shall be
struck down with fire and lightning."
14
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:37,840
And since I ain't got no lightning, I
tend just to keep it real simple, like.
15
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:44,210
I'm about to blow your head off,
fat boy.
16
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Mr. Dvorchack, I presume?
17
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City Inspector.
18
00:01:56,130 --> 00:01:59,420
I've been habitating here
more than 20-odd years now.
19
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:06,170
And some new high-falutin' sanitation law
don't mean shit to me, Mr. City Inspector.
20
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,260
Oh, but I'm afraid
it does mean something
21
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:11,840
to the owners of the condominiums
they're building next door.
22
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,760
So, you see,
everything in this dump has got to go,
23
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,670
including you, Mr. Dvorchack.
24
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,880
- If you'll just sign these papers...
- Otto!
25
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,090
Otto! C'mere, boy!
26
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,710
Oh, dang critter.
27
00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:27,170
Always scrounging for food.
28
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:32,260
Yeah, I tell you what... how about
we crack a couple of cold beers
29
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:34,670
while I spin ya a little yarn?
30
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,380
And you still want Otto
and me gone when I'm done,
31
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:41,590
well, I'll sign whatever you want
and we clear on out.
32
00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:46,130
- Dang lighter!
- I'm a busy man, Mr. Dvorchack.
33
00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:49,420
I don't have time for drunken ramblings
and crazy stories.
34
00:02:49,510 --> 00:02:51,050
If we could just move this...
35
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,460
- One night, couple years back...
- Fuck me.
36
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,550
...me and my friend Pearly, we...
37
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:56,760
Eh?
38
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:06,340
Me and my friend Pearly were
having a drink and conversatin', like.
39
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,630
Oh, boy, I tell ya.
40
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:13,710
Hell, you oughta get up off yer duff
and see the world.
41
00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:16,210
Oh, what for?
42
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:19,210
Everything I need
ends up here eventually.
43
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,760
Oh, yeah? What about women?
44
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,960
I don't see no women round here.
45
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,630
Pearly, she's right there.
46
00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,710
Oh, sorry. No offense, Betty.
47
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,510
But I am telling you, boy.
48
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:36,210
Down in Laredo, they got these
river trash whores. Oh, boy!
49
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:40,130
They can suck the chrome
off a trailer hitch.
50
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,840
Hey, you hear that?
51
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,920
It's just rats.
Tell me about the whores.
52
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:48,710
Hold your horses a minute.
My back teeth are floating.
53
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:57,920
Come on out, ya little monster.
54
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,260
Yeah, boy.
55
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,800
What?
56
00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,340
What in the hell?
57
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,710
Don't shoot the rats!
58
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:39,460
It's good company.
59
00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,630
What in tarnation?
60
00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:47,760
We gotta get the hell outta Dodge!
61
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,050
- There's something out there?
- What the hell is it?
62
00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:52,380
It's coming.
63
00:04:56,050 --> 00:04:57,260
What is it?
64
00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:00,340
Damned if I know! It's eyes everywhere!
65
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:03,260
All manner of crap stickin' out of it.
66
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,260
It's all shiny and wet.
67
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,090
My balls!
68
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,670
Aargh! Help me!
69
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:24,550
I don't wanna go!
70
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,010
Let go, Pearly!
71
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:28,130
I can't shoot!
72
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:36,260
Pearly!
73
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:58,380
Give my friend back, motherfucker!
74
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,300
I'ma get you, you son of a bitch.
75
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,420
Die!
76
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:52,710
What in the shit?
77
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,090
Now fuck me ragged.
78
00:07:13,170 --> 00:07:14,510
A puppy.
79
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,050
And that's when a
big old light bulb went off in my head.
80
00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:28,300
This here monster wasn't just created
by all the heat and garbage.
81
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,760
It lived off it.
82
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,880
And whatever it ate became a part of it.
83
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:45,170
They're gonna love this one
back at the office.
84
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,050
Sorry.
85
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,590
So, you were saying about Curly?
86
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:52,630
His name was Pearly.
87
00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:54,760
Right.
88
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,800
And it's an absolutely riveting tale,
Mr. Dvorchack,
89
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,130
but I can actually feel myself
getting septic shock sitting here.
90
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:06,260
So, if you'll just make a big X
on those papers,
91
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:08,590
I can finally get out of this shit hole.
92
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,630
Otto! There you are, boy!
93
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,510
What?
94
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:22,920
No!
95
00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:25,760
No!
96
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,510
Mr. Dvorchack!
97
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,590
Yep. The way I see it...
98
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:46,420
you hang around a dump long enough
and the world comes to you.
99
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:48,210
Ain't that right, Otto?
100
00:08:58,010 --> 00:09:00,130
Here, boy!
101
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:01,800
Attaboy!
102
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,510
Yes, sir, the dump's my home.
103
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,840
The best damn home I've ever had.
7439
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