All language subtitles for Rupauls.Drag.Race.S17E10.1080p.WEB.H264-Spamneggs

(Dynamic music)

♪

(Text on screen)

- [singing] MTV

- Previously
on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

Each of you needs to create
an original outfit

inspired by Betsey Johnson.

- Hello, ladies!

[cheering]

- Kori King.

- I would have really
garbaged that dress up.

- Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- There's just a few things
that are off

on the fit about this.

- Lexi Love.

This is absolutely fantastic.

Well done.

Jewels Sparkles.

- That is the collection.

- Condragulations.

You are the winner of
this week's challenge.

- Oh, my God.

- Lydia Butthole Kollins,

shantay, you stay.

Kori Scott King, sashay away.

- Ugh.

- Child.

- That was so blegh.

- It is "Romeo and Juliet"
up in here.

- Lydia and Kori,
two star-crossed lovers,

lip synced against each other
to "Kiss Me Deadly,"

and Lydia kissed her deadly.

This is a Shakespearean
tragedy, and I love it.

- Oh, my God.

- It says good night, kingdom.

- Aw.
- Aw.

- I think this is
the least amount

of words Kori has ever said.
- Girl, I know.

I said, that's all?

- But it looks
a little incomplete.

I'm going to just...

- Aw.

- How do you feel right now?

- I feel so happy to be here.

I am really sad that Kori
is not going to be here.

I could not even look at Ru
or the judges in the eyes

when she was, like,
announcing who stayed.

- Bitch, it was you or her, so.

- Yeah.

I'm glad it was me.

But I'm sorry, Kori.

- Bye, Kori.

- Bye, Kori!

- I am trying
my absolute hardest

to not let this get to me,
but there was

something special
about what Kori and I

were doing here together.

It feels great to have survived,

but there's a deep sadness
running through my body

right now.

- Congratulations to Jewels!

- [screams]

- Congratulations, Jewelsy!

- I got my first win.

I feel like I can finally see
the finish line,

when before it was just
a blurry vision.

And it was a slow burn,
but bitch, Jewels is here.

And she's here to sparkle.

- How do you feel, Lexi?

- Lexi, are you OK?

- Hey, Jewels.

You look amazing.

So I get it.

Please don't take
any of my energy

as anything trying
to take it away from you.

Just you know me and my
inner saboteur, honey.

I am my own biggest enemy,
and I just am

beating myself up.

I feel like the blushing bride
that definitely

was left at the altar.

I won talent show.

Now I have not won
anything else yet though.

- I love this look.

For me, this is not
a bottom two look.

- I do think there were other
looks that possibly could have

taken my place in the bottom.

- Like who?
- You.

- Me?

- Girl, what?

Are you that delusional?

- I mean, it is
a bra and a skirt, but.

- But it's well done.

- It is a very tailored
bra and skirt.

- And it looks like
you skinned a dead cat.

- Oh. Thank you.

- She did.

[laughter]

- What are the statistics
at this point?

- We have three girls with
two wins: Onya, Sam, and I.

- And three with one win.

- Arrietty, Lexi, and Jewels.

And Lana and Lydia are having
a great time, right?

[laughter]

- Baby, all you can do is laugh.

- And take your drag off.

- Period, bitch!
- Right?

Come on!

- Let's get out of this drag.

- Lydia, I cannot
believe you said I was

going to be in the bottom.
- It's just a little...

- Are you crazy?

- It's just a little...
it's a little basic for me.

It's a little basic.
I'm sorry I told you.

- Bitch, that's why...
[inaudible]

- I'm just gonna hold
my comment.

[laughter]

For the girls who
haven't won anything yet...

- I hate when they compare wins.

It makes me feel left out.

I've been nice the entire time.

I've been a sister.
- Yeah.

- Don't make me be a brother.
[deep voice] Because I can.

- Oh.

[laughter]

- The girls are finally
realizing that this competition

is a competition.

It is now time
to show what you got.

And if you're not
gonna show it...

[dramatic music]

You can join your friends.

- [singing] "RuPaul's Drag Race"

The winner
of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics

and a gag-worthy grand prize
of $200,000,

courtesy of TodayTix,
the theater ticket app.

With extra-special guest judge
Whitney Cummings.

[singing] "RuPaul's Drag Race"

May the best drag queen win,
best drag queen win

- Good morning, kingdom.

- We're back.
- Good morning.

We ready.

Both: Bah, bah, bah, bah!

- And goodbye, kingdom.

- New week, no Kori
to distract me at this point.

So whatever this
next challenge is,

I need to swing big
and knock it out of the park.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[all screaming]

- No way!

- How are you all doing?
- Good.

- Pretty good, actually.

- Good.

- Is anyone going to ask me
how I'm doing?

- How are you doing?

- How are you, Michelle?

- Well, to be honest, I'm sad.

And I think I know why.

- Oh. Why?

- Tell us.

- I'm missing
a major player that

left too early this season.

[tense music]

- Oh, God.

Is someone coming back?

- For the first time
in "Drag Race" herstory,

we're bringing back

the Badonka Dunk tank.

- Oh!

[laughter]

- I thought I'd finished
with that bitch.

[upbeat music]

And now she's back?

- I suggest that you take off

anything that you don't want
to get wet

and meet me on the main stage
in five minutes.

[cheering]

And go!

- Yeah!

[dramatic music]

- Oh, my!

[cheering]

- Oh, my gosh.

- Queens!

Give a warm "Drag Race" welcome
to "Entertainment Weekly"

Senior Writer Joey Nolfi.

- Hi, Joey!

- Hello, queens.

- For today's revenge...

oop!

I mean Mini Challenge...

- Oh, God.

- You'll each take a seat
atop the Badonka Dunk tank.

Joey and I will ask you
a series of questions.

If you answer correctly,
you'll stay dry.

If not, you get dunked.

- Oh, man.

That's crazy.

- Oh, lord.

- Do you know how much
product I have to use to get

my hair to look like this?

Bitch, I do not want to
wet my hair right now.

- Lydia Butthole Kollins,
you are first.

- Hi, Bruno.

Oh, thanks.

- Ah!

- Ooh!

- The hand on the back?

- Girl, Kori's going to be mad.

- Oh, I bet.

- OK, first question.

Lydia, what's your
favorite color?

- Blue.

- Wrong. It's red.

[screaming]

[water splashes]

- I'm going to piss in this tank

and make these bitches drink it.

- Jewels, what's your
favorite body part?

- Penis.

- Wrong.

It's your uvula.

[water splashes]

- Look at her.

[laughter]

- Who is your favorite
"Drag Race" judge?

- Michelle Visage.

- Brown nose.

- Ooh!

[water splashes]

- Everyone's getting dunked
left and right.

- Oh, no!

- Dropping like flies.

[screaming]

[water splashing]

- Arrietty.

- Hello.

- This may be
the sweetest revenge of all.

- No, show me mercy.

- [laughing maniacally]

Are you a top?

- Ooh.

- Or are you a bottom?

- I'm a bottom.

Ooh, wait.

Hold on.

[water splashes]

- She's definitely
a bottom bitch.

- Yeah.

She's a bottom!

- Queens!

The winner of today's
mini challenge is...

[clock ticking]

Hey.

Where did Joey go?

- Michelle!
I'm up here.

Help!

- Oh, my God.

- This one's for you, Hormona.

[water splashes]

[cheering]

- Yeah!

- Go to EW.com/DragRace
to hear my exclusive

interview with Joey Nolfi.

- Oh, yes.

[applause]

- Queens.

The love language
of drag is shade.

- Yes.

- That is right.

- So for this week's
Maxi Challenge,

we're throwing the first ever

Villains Roast.

[cheering]

- I drop punch lines
on these hoes all day.

I feel like...

God, I keep saying this,
but I feel like

this is going to be my week.

- You will pay
a comedy tribute to three

of the shadiest Queens
in Drag Race history,

Mistress Isabelle Brooks...

[cheers and applause]

- Kandy Muse...

[cheers and applause]

- Lordy.
- Absolutely.

- And Plane Jane.

[cheering]

- Oh, my God!

- Later today, you'll
workshop your material with me

and the irrepressible
Whitney Cummings.

[cheering]
- Shit.

Yes!

- Jewels Sparkles.

You won last week's
Maxi Challenge,

so you get to assign
the order of the roast.

[applause]

- I love you, Jewels.

- It's on, bitch.

Ooh.

- Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

[cheering]

- Let's get this roast
a-cookin'.

- Yes.

- Jewels has
the "honor" of giving us

the order for the roast.

And she could try and please
everyone or be strategic.

So as a pageant bitch,
I'm hoping she's strategic

and sets these bitches up.

- I would like to hear from
each of you what place you want

and why.

We'll start with Lexi.

- I would like
last place, please.

I would like to wrap
this shit up.

I want to win.

- Lydia, what place
would you like?

- Well...

- Or is there anyone
you don't want to go

behind or go in front of?

Like, what's the tea with that?

- I mean, I don't want
to go behind, like,

someone like Suzie.

- OK.

Sam?

- I would like to go
earlier in the roast.

Not after Suzie,
or Onya, or Lexi.

[laughter]

But I am comfortable going
after Arrietty, Lana, or Lydia.

[screaming, laughing]

- Lana, where do you want to go?

- Probably, like, third.
- OK.

Suzie?

- I would like to go
first or last.

- OK. Arrietty?

- I mean, roasts
aren't my thing.

So I think I would like
the middle, so fourth.

- Onya?

- I would like to go
second or third.

- OK.

While the judges deliberate,
y'all can sit here

and, you know,
do your thing, and I will...

- Oh, wow.
- I will go deliberate.

- That's how we're doing this?
- Yes, absolutely.

I'm definitely considering
all acting challenges,

comedy challenges,
and the reading challenge.

Hmm.

I'm not a big roaster, so I want

to look as perfect as I can.

Ooh, this is tough.

Lana and Lydia don't have a win.

I don't want to put them
in a tough position

because that would just be mean.

OK, I think I've
come up with my plan.

I think this is a very fair,
diplomatic bitch.

I feel like
the Robin Hood of drag.

- Going first
and opening the show is Onya.

Going second is Arrietty,
third is myself,

fourth is Lana, fifth is Sam,

sixth is Lydia,
seventh is Suzie,

and eighth is Lexi.

- You fucking bitch.

You set me up with Suzie?

What the fuck is
happening right now?

- Lexi wanted to close the show.

So...
- You shaded me.

Out of everybody you shaded,
why did you shade me?

- Well, I didn't want to go...

- She gave you what you wanted.

- You wanted last.

- She put Suzie before me, girl.

- You got what you wanted, girl.

- I did give
the harder placements

to the girls that
have wins already

and to the girls who've been
doing well in this competition.

- You've got a win now.

- OK?

And I picked the order, bitch.

So obviously, I'm going to put
myself in the place I want.

- I'm feeling a little
stabbed in the back.

I think Jewels wanted
to go after me because

she knew I was going to do bad.

It's shady as hell to me.

- You put yourself
in a sweet spot.

- Bitch, Arrietty is pissed
and Lexi is equally pissed.

But this is not "RuPaul's
Best Friend Race," OK?

[tense music]

- I would never do
what Jewels did.

Like, ever.

But if she wants
to play the game,

then I can play the game too.

- I'm so excited.

Yes.

- Hi.

- Hello.

- Come in. Hi, hi, hi.

- It's time to meet up
with our comedy coaches,

Michelle Visage
and Whitney Cummings.

- Queens, say hello
to Whitney Cummings.

All: Hi, Whitney.

- Thank you for having me.

- She is a comedy superstar.

She has roasted,
she has toasted.

- They're all like, I thought
Joan Rivers was dead.

[laughter]

- Whitney and I
are here to help you

work through your approach
to this roast.

- When it comes to roasting,
what you're giving someone

when you roast them
is the gift of them being

able to laugh at themselves.

That's how we play
defense against it

coming off kind of mean.

Do you want to stop yawning, or?

- I'm sorry.

[laughter]

- So sorry.

Did the Adderall wear off?

- It's not because
I'm bored or tired.

I'm just a yawny girl.

I'm sorry, Whitney.

- Let's start with Onya.

- Hey!

- Do you want to try
out one of your jokes?

- Sure.

Today, we have the opportunity
to roast Juvéderm,

Sculptra, and Insulin.

- [laughs] Great.

- Sorry, sorry.

I mean, Kandy Muse, Plane Jane,

and Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

- Onya's been killing
every comedy challenge.

- This is "Drag Race," innit?

Not Make-A-Wish.
- Oh.

- Great, great.

- Love it.

- And Jewels knew if someone
strong goes before me,

I'm going to look
even worse so that she

can take the light after me.

So it's not a good feeling.

- Now Arrietty, when I
announced the roast challenge,

you look like the fear of
God had entered your body.

Are you scared?

- Very much.

Because I don't really,
like, write jokes.

I like to come off cute.

- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.

- But then when it comes
out of my mouth is not cute.

- You're a secret cunt.
- Exactly.

- There we go.

- Exactly.

- Since you have
that bitchy streak...

- Yeah.

- Call upon that.
- Yes.

- OK.

I have a lot of work to do.

[laughs]

And for someone
that doesn't really do this,

not enough time.

- Jewels Sparkles.

- Hi!

- What do you think
people think about you?

- I think they think
I'm a dumb whore.

- Oh.

- And so I'm going to lean
into that a little bit.

- OK.

- So one of the jokes that
I had come up with that's like

me misreading something
is Mistress,

you know,
your face is so stamped.

You literally... you
really let your creativity

run wild with your makeup.

And that's surprising, because
it looks like you hate to run.

[laughter]
- I think that's funny.

- Great, great, great.

- I would get there quicker,
but it's still...

- Yes.
- Funny.

- OK.

So it's more about the delivery.

- Yes.
And then just, like, knowing it

so that you can be
your whimsical self.

- There's a whole
art to roasting.

So I'm going to have to stay up
all night to memorize this

so that I don't fuck up.

- So, Lana...
- Yes.

- You're meeting Whitney
for the first time.

Tell her who you are.

- I love to showcase looks and
showcase my silly personality.

- I got zero silly
from Lana Ja'Rae.

I got beautiful model,
but goofy, silly?

No.

- Damn.

- What is a laugh?

It's a surprise.

So even better that you have
been this stoic statue

and then you come out
and you're silly.

And we're like...[gasps]

Give us that drama
of, like, who's this person?

- I'm ready to see what you got.

- I said, Mistress calls herself

the heavyweight champion.

And I have to agree,
because the only thing

heavier than her weight is

my wait for
a Maxi Challenge win.

[whimsical music]

- Here's what I will say.

If you're too self-deprecating,
then sometimes

they're going to take
their cues from you.

- This is a roast.

You better roast, or your ass
could be going home.

- A lot of people tell me
I'm funny in the Werk Room,

but not when it comes
to, like, being on stage

and having to be funny.

So I hope that
I'm able to rework this

because one more
slip up and they will

send my ass out of the door.

- "Sham Shtar."

- Ding!

- You want to tell us a little?

- Now Miss Ts Madison.

We all know you've
dabbled in sex work.

Bitch, I think you've
fucked more rich

white men than cryptocurrency.

[laughter]

- Excellent.

- Thank you.

- Lydia Butthole Kollins.

How do you think
you are perceived?

- I think I'm sort of, like...

- Tired?

[laughter]

- I'm perceived kind of
outwardly sweet.

I'm considered,
like, a kumbaya girl.

But I do have all these
horrible, evil, disgusting

thoughts in my brain.

- Your drag name is so funny.

I just don't buy that
that's your drag name

and you're not going to
knock this out of the park.

- Right.

I have a very cynical
and rotted sense of humor.

And I'm hopefully going
to tap into that inner evil

that I have and not
hold back one bit.

- Suzie Toot,
meet Whitney Cummings.

- Hi, Whitney.

Hello.

- We've seen you do some comedy.

- Mm-hmm.

- And you won "RDR Live."

So does that put some
additional pressure on you?

- I think it does.

I'm a little bit cerebral.

I think I could
run into the issue

of being a little too smart.

- That is some bullshit.

Don't let her fool you.
The bitch is funny.

- OK.

- Ain't none of her jokes
ever went over my head.

- Uh-huh.

- So it ain't nothing
cerebral about it.

- Oop, OK.

- She's trying to, like,
bring the expectations down

so she can exceed it.

She's like, I'm cerebral.

[laughter]

I'm afraid of going
over people's heads.

Bitch, please.

- Onya blew my cover.

Yeah, I'm gonna do well.

Yeah, I'm good at this.

God forbid, huh?

- And last but certainly
not least, Lexi Love.

Let's hear what you got.

- Kandy Muse is such a cunt
that she uses

Summer's Eve as mouthwash.

[laughter]

Kandy Muse, you're such
a yeasty cunt that...

[laughter]

She could make dough rise.

- Lexi, you are on
your way, my darling.

- Thank you.

[whimsical music]

- The more pressure I have,
I mean, the worse

I feel like I'm going to do.

And I was like, well, since
Jewels wants to play the game,

let me play too.

[tense music]

So I'm taking
a few of her jokes.

How fun.

- OK, ladies.

We are going to wrap this up.

- Thank you, Michelle.

Thank you, Whitney.

- Miss Jewels...

[giggles]

Karma's a fucking bitch.

[ominous music]

[upbeat music]

- Let's get this roast
a-cookin'.

- Who's hungry?

- Ready to roast a bitch.

- It's time for the roast, sweetie.

And I'm feeling very confident,
especially based on the fact

that all of these
bitches are upset,

and pressed, and bothered
about the lineup.

I'm like, OK.

I'm coming in with
positive energy.

I'm going to be funny.

- Are you excited?

- I'm so excited.

I feel like with
scripted comedy,

it has not been an
easy road for me.

I beg your pardon?

Buy me a drink first.

So I'm excited to hopefully
redeem myself.

- Yes, yes.

- I'm excited to let out
my secret evil side.

- Yes.
- Mwa-hah-hah-hah-hah.

Let it out.

- I was up all night
working on my roast.

So I think that my
delusional confidence

today is lent to the fact
that I am so tired.

[upbeat music]

[clattering]

[indistinct chatter]

[tense music]

- The tension is thick, bitch.

The tension is tensioning.

- Mm-hmm.

- [snorts]

- I do not want to be
next to Jewels right now.

I don't want to argue
with her before the roast,

because I don't want to be
in my head even more.

- You know I wasn't trying
to set you up, right?

[clattering]

- Hmm?

- I wasn't trying to set you up.

You know that, right?

- I don't believe that.

You putting yourself after me?

Now you're literally hoping
that I don't do good

so that you can do better.

So that is something
that's irritating me.

- Don't.

- [sighs]

OK.

- Are you moving over
to the cool girls?

- I'm moving
to the not-hateful people.

- I'm sorry, Arrietty.

- I mean, we are
in a competition.

So I'm here to play.

- Yeah.

- And at this point,
I don't give a fuck

about anyone's feelings.

- OK, work.

- And it honestly gave me
a fire in my ass to do better.

- OK, cool.

- At the end of the day,
all you can do

is stab your friend in the back.

- Wait, did she leave Jewels...

- Uh-huh.

- The girls are moving
and switching, honey.

- The girls are
moving and switching.

- Me and Arrietty are completely

done fooling with Jewels.

- Y'all are mad?

- About to play...

- "Mad" ain't even the word.

- That's what you
asked for, though.

- She knows how much
you have thrown me off

or gotten in my head.

From the get go,
Suzie is a front runner

and I was a front runner.

Why is she out-front-running me?

This was a setup.

- Honestly, if you were
in her position,

would you not set someone up
that was competition?

- The fact that she messed up
because I'm not the one.

It should have been
whoever's been performing best,

which would be Suzie.

- But she did set me up in that

she didn't give me
what I wanted.

You wanted to be last...

- And she gave you...

I feel like she honored...
- Oh, no.

- It was like a trade-off.

- She punished me
for asking for last.

- No.
- By putting me after...

- I think she was
like... she wanted to...

- All right, girl.

I disagree.

Here's the real tea.

Where you are placed
in the roast

does not matter that much.

How you personally are affected
by where you place in the roast

matters a lot.

- It was a stunt
to try and throw me off.

I'm not going to be
thrown off this time.

- You're saying, well,
that's not gonna work.

I'm not gonna get thrown off.

It sounds to me like
you are currently thrown off.

- Yeah.

- Well, we shall see
when I do my set.

- OK, diva.

- I can't control
your inner saboteur.

And I can't be the one to blame.

- [groans]

- You could flip the script
in your mind

and just say
this is an opportunity

to outshine one of the biggest
players in the game.

- You're gonna do a great job

and you can't let that
get in your head.

It should be happy, fun.

It's the roast day.

It's really silly, Lexi.

You have to admit
that it's silly.

- $200,000 is not silly.

Sam is trying
to look out for me,

but the roast is over here
to me somewhere.

And over here,
where I really am,

is just Suzie Toot and Jewels.

And... and I'm just like,
oh, my fucking God.

Like, I cannot escape
this headspace.

Ah, fuck.

[groans]

[upbeat music]

- How are you, baby?
- I'm OK.

- Are you sure?
- Everyone left me.

No one wants to sit next to me.
- I'm sorry.

- It's OK.
I think it's a little dramatic.

- I actually consulted in her,
and I said, hey,

I don't feel really good
about this.

And then she put herself
after me.

So that's kind of fucked up
in my... in my eyes, you know?

- That's the whole thing.

I consulted her as well,
like, weeks ago,

about feeling uncomfortable
about Suzie,

and it was a stunt.

- I could care less about
how Lexi feels right now

because I gave that bitch
what she asked for.

But I care about what Arrietty
feels because she's my friend,

and I hate that I made her
feel this way

when that was not the intention.

I just want to apologize
to you, Arrietty,

because, like, you're right.

I did put myself after you
because I'm not

very confident in a roast.

So I didn't want to go behind
one of the stronger players.

- So thank you.

As a friend, I would never
do that to you.

So thank you for actually
saying that out loud.

I would have done it to someone
else that wasn't my sister.

- Damn, so everybody in here
ain't your sister?

- Well, yes,
they're all my sisters.

But I feel like me and her
had a connection.

- We do have a connection.

- So that's why
I'm more hurt by that.

- I didn't mean
to make you, like,

get in your head about this.

- Well, you did.

I am still a little hurt.

I mean, I'm fucking human.

- Girl, but you could cut
the tension in the room

with a butter knife, honey.
- Uh-huh.

- You know, I hope that
when we get to the stage

that our energy shifts,

because I want this
to be a great roast.

- Shut up.

Let a bitch be mad.

Of course, y'all don't
feel a type of way...

- Well, listen. OK.

- Because she
didn't do it to you.

That's why you don't feel
some type of way.

- OK, yes.

- That is not good, bitch.

- [laughs]

- That is not funny.
- What?

What's funny?

- Why are you laughing?
- Because.

- It seems shady.

- There is no reason why
Jewels should be

having you, like,
spiraling, low key.

- All I'm gonna say
is that my intention

was not to get in your head.

- Girl.
- That was all I...

I'm gonna say.

You can feel however
you want to feel...

- Jesus fucking Christ.
- Are valid.

I was not trying
to get in your head.

That was not my intention.

- Girl.

- And I do think...

- It's so exhausting.

- OK.

All right.

[dramatic music]

I will leave it at that.

That's all I can say.

- Leave it at that.

- I will leave it at that.

- All of a sudden,
I am the fucking...

the villain of the season, girl.

They're gonna roast me
next season, bitch.

- At the end of the day...

- Shut your ass up, bitch.
- [laughs]

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

- [laughing]

[singing] Cover girl

Put the bass in your walk

Head to toe

Let your whole body talk

And what

- Miss Paul!

- Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

She's your favorite villain's
favorite villain,

Michelle Visage.

- I blame it on the edit.

- They all do, darling.

They all do.

The tantalizing Ts Madison.

Now, Maddie, would you
rather roast or be roasted?

- Ru, you know I go both ways.

[laughter]

- See, I'd rather be
spit roasted.

[laughter]

And the fabulous
Whitney Cummings.

Thank you for helping
our Queens.

- And thank you for all
the free makeup I just stole.

[laughter]

They call me
Anastasia Woodland Hills.

[laughter]

- This week,
we challenged our queens

to dish out the laughs at
our first-ever Villains Roast.

Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win!

It's the Villains Roast.

[upbeat music]

Honoring Mistress
Isabelle Brooks.

- Drag delusion, girl.

- Plane Jane.

- You look a fool...
doo-doo clown mess.

- And Kandy Muse.

- If you don't have
star quality,

get the fuck out of here.

- Let's welcome our first
roaster, Onya Nurve.

- Oh, hello, hello, hello.

Welcome to RuPaul's
Villains Roast!

[cheers and applause]

I am so honored to be
the first queen in "Drag Race"

herstory to be roasting
our very own Plane Jane,

Kandy Muse,
and Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

You may also recognize them as
the cast of "STD The Rusical."

[laughter]

Now, Kandy, I'ma start with you.

I would consider you

the Tasmanian devil
of your season,

so I'm gonna speak this
in a language

only me and you can understand.

[speaking gibberish]

Period!

[laughter]

Now, me and Kandy gonna
translate that for y'all.

Say it with me, Kandy.

If you don't have star quality,
get the fuck out of here!

Jewels, that means you, baby.

- Ooh.

- Yes, yes, yes.

Now, Plane Jane, I am so sorry
that you didn't get a chance

to experience this roast moment

with your dear sister,
Kori King.

But I will have you know that

she is just as
beautifully untalented,

rotted, and dumb as you are.

And I see exactly
where she get it from.

And Mistress Isabelle Brooks,

thank you so much
for being here.

I'm sure you had
nothing else going on.

OK, OK.

This next entertainer has
the comedic timing

of a cancer diagnosis.

- Wow.

- Put those hands together

and get ready for Arrietty!

[applause]

- To be honest, I am shaking
in my boots right now.

I am so scared
of roasting people,

but not as much as
Plane Jane is scared

of emotional intelligence.

[laughter]
Or Miss Is...

Isabelle Brooks.

Ooh, I said that wrong.

Ahh!

- Sound it out, baby.

- Kandy Muse is afraid
of tongue twisters.

Or Miss Isabelle Brooks...

[laughter]

Is scared of
elevator weight limits.

Yeah, there we go.

There we go.

- Yikes.

- Oh, my God.

Um...

- It's hard to watch.

She's trying to giggle
her way through it.

But it's going down.

- I take it back.
I take it back.

I'm not gonna make
a fat joke about Mistress,

because Mistress is
already a fat joke.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God, she stole my joke.

Oh, my God.

She stole my jokes.

- If you hate Kandy Muse,
you are...

or probably are racist.

And if you like Kandy Muse,
you like bad drag.

- [speaking Spanish]

- Plane Jane,
I relate to you the most.

The only difference between
you and I is in my childhood,

I played outside
with kids and friends.

You grew up alone in the dark,
sucking on batteries.

[scattered laughter]

Did you not?

- You clocked it, sister.

[laughter]

- I kind of just want
to run up there

and put her out of her misery.

It's just like
you're watching a starving dog

and you want to bring it
some food.

But you're like,
mm, maybe we should

just shoot it in the head.

Arrietty's set is just sad.

- And in conclusion...

[laughter]

- Yay!

[cheers and applause]

- And in conclusion,
I honestly don't think

you guys are villains.

The real villains are the girls
that smile to your face

and then stab you in the back,
just like this next diva.

So give it up for
the dumbest crackhead I know,

Jewels Sparkles.

- Go get 'em, Jewels.

- That set was the villain
of the season, baby.

- Go learn the music, baby.

[screaming]

- Ooh!

- Arrietty, that fucking bitch.

I'm gagged that
I'm about to go on stage

and this bitch just
stole my jokes.

Wow.

That was very intelligent.

[laughter]

OK.

- Welcome back
to the Villains Roast.

- Hi, everyone.

My name is Jewels Sparkles,

and I am so excited to be here
at the Villains Roast.

[applause]

Right in front of me,
I have three of the biggest

villains of all time.

And I do mean the biggest
villains of all time, bitch.

No, no, no.
That wasn't a fat joke.

I am not gonna make
fat jokes today.

I think those are just
so tired, and overdone,

and just plain mean.

So before I roast you three
fat jokes, let me say...

[giggling]

Oh.

- Jewels is stumbling
a little bit because, I mean,

I took two of her jokes.

[dramatic music]

Karma is really a bitch, though.

[fake laughter]

- "Drag Race" is
a massive platform,

but not as massive
as Kandy Muse's back.

"Drag Race" is worldwide now,

but not as wide
as Kandy Muse's back.

- Not too much.

- [sighs]

Well, Plane Jane does remind me
of somebody I know.

This person and you
both struggle

in foundation shade matching

and is weirdly into
Russian hookers.

You are
the Donald Trump of drag.

Well, at least you do have
the biggest boobs in drag

next to Mistress, out of drag.

[sparse chuckling]

Speaking of Mistress, I get it.

The camera adds 10 pounds.

But girl, you did walk in
with the first 300.

- Oop.
- Oh.

- Ooh.

- Well, that was my roast.

[laughter]

The next queen coming onto
the stage is gorgeous.

And when it comes to comedy,
she's gorgeous.

Please welcome Lana Ja'Rae!

[applause]

- Wow, Jewels.

I could have
said it better myself.

[laughter]

Gouda evening, everyone.

My name is Lana Ja'Rae.

Some of you may know me
as a model,

a nice pair of legs,
or as the judges now know me,

a disappointment.

[laughter]

Mistress is known for
being in a lot of eras.

You know, she's been
in her congenial era,

her top four era,
but for her doctor's sake,

let's all pray
she's in her fitness era.

Now Plane Jane.

Sister, how are you
doing tonight?

- I'm good...

- Actually, I don't give a fuck.

[laughter]

Plane Jane is so white,
she's not racist,

because she has a Black friend,
Kori King.

Plane Jane, honestly, I don't
have that much material on you,

because some of these jokes
really just white themselves.

Now, Kandy Muse.

Her "Drag Race" legacy will be
remembered for so many,

many year.

[laughter]

Kandy muse is so dumb, period.

[laughter]

- Yes, Lana!

You better tell those jokes,
Lana!

Oh, my sister is killing it.

- Kandy is known for
sitting alone in the VIP,

but I actually have a fun fact.

She wasn't sitting alone
in the VIP...

she was saving 10 seats
for Ts Madison's ass.

[laughter]

Now this next queen,
she owns the stage,

much like her family owned
my ancestors.

- Oh, my God.

- Make some noise for
the one and only Sam Star!

- Hello, everyone.

Please give it up one more time

for my long-time family friend,

Miss Lana Ja'Rae.

[laughter]

Miss Plane Jane.

Plane did introduce herself
to the world

with her iconic burger finger.

And her drag sister, Kori King,
introduced herself to the world

with her butthole finger.

[laughter]

We have the fabulous Kandy Muse.

Kandy Muse is so ugly,

she don't get
asked out on dates.

She gets asked out on dares.

[laughter]

- Why you laughing?

[laughter]

- And in closing,
to my Southern sister,

Mistress,
all I have to say to you is,

bless your heart... disease.

[laughter]

- One more fat joke,
and I'm gonna lose it!

- Thank you all so much.

Give it up for
Lydia Butthole Kollins!

[cheers and applause]
- Thank you, Sam.

And thank you, Ru,
for bringing us these things.

First I want to say hello
to the panel, though.

Ru, hi.

Now that Kori's gone,
I am going to need

another bald Black man
to fill that void.

And you do like seeing me
in the bottom anyway, so...

Also, Whitney Cummings is here.

Hello.
- Hi.

- Whitney, I am so sorry

that I yawned yesterday
during our table read.

- [laughs]
- The truth is, I wasn't tired.

You're just really
fucking boring.

- Oh, my...

- I'm just going to get to our
main event, the villains.

A couple of these divas
know a thing or two

about roasting and shredding.

Like a pot roast,
shredded chicken, roast beef.

Mistress, I'm honestly surprised

you could be on "Drag Race."

Bitch, you're not racing anyone.

[laughter]

- Oh, boy, Miss Butthole.

Did you just bleach it?

Look, it's so pretty and funny.

[gasps]

- Mistress, it is an honor

to be here with you.

I'm a really, really big fan...

is what Mistress would say

if she was dressed
like an oscillating fan.

[laughter]

Moving on, Jenny from the blob.

Kandy Muse.

- Jenny from the blob.

- Kandy, you were actually
raised as a moron.

Oh, no.
Sorry, I read that wrong.

As a Mormon.

[laughter]

I heard you left
the Mormon church, though,

because you refused to compete
with six other women for food.

[laughter]

Plane Jane.

Thank you for taking time
out of your busy schedule

jacking it to Amanda Tori
Meating's elimination

to be here with us today.

[laughter]

I've learned a lot
about Boston drag

as I've grown very close
to Kori King, your sis.

And I actually did bring
a little piece of her with me.

To this day, her jizz
is still in my stomach.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God!

[laughter]

Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!

- Now help me welcome
our next queen,

a reincarnated Edith Piaf

trapped in
a 24-year-old twink's body,

Suzie Toot.

[applause]

- I was fully expecting

to lift the energy after Lydia,

and I am in a completely
different situation.

Let's get on with this roast.

Mistress is the former mother
of Sugar and Spice.

And I thought abortion was
illegal in Texas.

[laughter]

This would also be
the only context in which

Mistress would cut Sugar
out of her life.

[laughter]

Kandy Muse fancies herself
a television host,

but the only thing she's hosted
consistently is parasites.

[laughter]

Now, it's unfair to say
that Kandy is just

riddled with STDs,
because she's also riddled

with a variety pack
of mental illnesses.

[laughter]

Plane, your sister Kori did
sashay away last week.

But don't worry.

She carried on your legacy.

She had a great ass,
she was hateful,

and she left
no other impression.

[laughter]

- Damn.

- Now, I am not gonna
stand up here

and call you old, RuPaul,

because that would just be
beating a dead horse,

which, funny enough,
is Raven's job description.

[laughter]

- That was good, bitch.

That was good, bitch.

- And that is my time.

- Great job, Suzie.

- Now please welcome
to the stage

your final entertainer,

a dumb, ugly slut
with no friends,

Lexi Love!

- Jesus.

- Damn.

[cheers and applause]

[tense music]

- When Suzie says,
"You have no friends,"

I'm thinking, oh, fuck.

Did I... did I turn everybody
away from me?

Every word in my brain left.

I...

ahh!

No friends, no family,

but I'm gonna fuck this up, honey.

- Whoo!

- Thank you, Suzie Toot!

You might be known after this

as the Jinkx Monsoon
for Dummies.

[laughter]

On to our three deplorables
of the evening.

The only thing more terrifying
than these three individuals

is you, RuPaul Bunyan.

[laughter]

Damn.

- Yikes.

- Kandy Muse has
such a rotted cunt mouth,

Donald Trump tried
to grab her by it.

- Ah.
- Rah.

Allegedly, of course.

- Yeah.
- Allegedly.

Plane. Plane Jane.

Plane is actually
very attractive.

She looks like Freddie Prinze
Jr. outside of drag,

if Freddie Prinze Jr. smoked
crystal methamphetamines.

- Oh.
- And I would know, honey.

I was an avid
frequent flyer for years.

The only thing meaner
than Plane Jane

is Kandy Muse's underbite.

- Hey!

- Let's talk about
Mistress Isabella.

- Isabelle, babe.

- Isabelle.

Sorry, I love to add letters in

like you like to add carbs.

- [screaming]
- Oh... oh.

- I do want to thank everybody
for joining us here tonight.

This has been a complete
and total waste of my time,

and I'm starting
to smell sulfur.

So I'll see you ladies in hell.

Good night.

[applause]

- And now let's hear
from our villains.

- Now me and the dolls
just have some quick words

for the girls.

Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

You're going home next.

[all screaming]

- This was the most
excruciating meet and greet

that I've ever been a part of.
[laughter]

You girls truly did
the impossible.

Lydia, you made me
hate buttholes.

Suzie, you made me hate drag.

[laughter]

- Y'all know drag family
means a lot to me.

To my two nieces here today,

Miss Lana Ja'Rae,

I'm glad to see
you're carrying on

Luxx's fourth placement.

[all screaming]

And to Arrietty,
at least you've done

better than the water girl.

[laughter]

- So, with that being said,
let the music play.

- [singing] I, I, I'm that bitch

I, I'm that bitch

I, I, I'm that bitch

That's the way it is,
don't, don't

Don't you wish

You could be that rich

But you ain't that bitch

It's unanimous

I'm that bitch

[cheering]

[singing]
You say you want to win it

Category is,
Who Wears Short Shorts?

Up first, Onya Nurve.

- Whoo!

- Girl, she got a wedgie.

- Imagine a big old
pair of shorts

and it can go all the way
up to your titties

to give you the most
ultimate wedgie, baby.

But make it fashion.

The zipper comes down and you
can see my cha-chas, honey.

- She puts the "ass"
in "acid wash."

[laughter]

- Arrietty.

Ooh.

Heavy is the tuck
that wears the crown.

- Have y'all ever wondered
what a elven royal

would wear to play football?

Well, we don't actually
play the game.

We ain't getting dirty.

Looking like this?

Miss Mama, no ma'am.

- This is what the first gay
Pope will look like.

[laughter]

- "Jewelsh Shparkles."

- Jewels Sparkles.

- What they do?
- "Jewels Sparkles."

- "Jers Sparkers."

Marie Antoinette.

- I've got bows in my hair,
bows on my shorts.

I've got grommets everywhere.

We've got everything that
it takes to be Jewels.

I feel very, very gorgeous.

- Pantaloons from
Petticoat Junction.

- Petticoat Junction.

- Lana Ja'Rae.

- Oh, shit.
- OK.

- Come on, Naomi.

- Don't throw the Birkin bag.

[laughter]

- I am channeling
Naomi Campbell,

Dsquared, 2003.

I am running down the runway
giving bad bitch energy.

I feel so beautiful
and I'm so honored

I get to pay homage to someone
so inspirational to my drag.

- Is that a MAGA hat? Oh.

- Make America Drag Again.
- Yeah.

- Nobody can wear a red hat
anymore, you know?

- I know.
- I know.

- "Sham Shtar."

- This is Taylor Swift
and Travis Kelce.

- In one.
- Yeah.

- My short shorts,
they are high cut

and adorned with stars.

I always was secretly
jealous of the football team

because they were
so cool and popular.

So this is a tribute
to all of the sexy

football players in the world.

And if you're single,

call me... ding!

- Anal beads.

Don't leave home without them!

[laughter]

Lydia Butthole Kollins.

Now this is a gutsy look.

- It is. It is.

- I am a very tragic tale
this week.

It's a chemical peel gone wrong.

My skin is falling off.

But luckily, my skin has
stayed just around my cooter

to cover it perfectly.

The skin shorts are made
out of a tulle fabric,

and on the back of them
is a cute

little sparkling butthole.

Come to the party.

Come inside my butthole.

That might be too much.

- I did not give her permission
to use my before picture.

[laughter]

- Suzie Toot.

You've heard of
"The Merchant of Venice"?

- Yes.

- Well, this is
"The Merchant of Penis."

- Oh, wow!

- I'm giving you full
Elizabethan puffy shorts.

And baby, I whipped
that cape off to reveal

my fruity little butt.

- Oh.
- OK.

- It is historical.

It's elevated.

It's a cerebral kind of look.

- Now appearing in "A Midsummer
Night's Wet Dream."

[laughter]

- Lexi Love.

- What kind of love?
- Lexi Love.

- Whoo! OK.

- My look is a love letter
to my village,

my mom, and a couple
of her girlfriends

and my drag family.

Everybody spent hours stoning
every pair of these shorts,

and I feel wrapped in love.

- If you stay shreddy,
you ain't got to get shreddy.

Welcome, queens.

I've made some decisions.

[tense music]

When I call your name,

please step forward.

Onya Nurve.

Suzie Toot.

Ladies, you are safe.

- Thank you.

- You may leave the stage.

[dramatic music]

Queens.

You represent the tops
and bottoms of the week.

Now it's time for
the judges' critiques.

First up, Arrietty.

- Arrietty, you seemed unsure,
but you went for it.

And then the minute you fell,
even just a little bit...

- Ooh, I said that wrong.

- It took you down.

- I just want to remind you
that you did

about as well as you said
you were going to do.

So I would just challenge you
to anticipate winning

and see what happens
in every part of your life.

- Tonight's look is
my favorite look.

When they said,
"Who Wears Short Shorts?"

I was like, hey, shorty!

[laughter]

- Can you not move
your face right now?

Is that what's happening?
- No, I know.

I'm trying not to smile.

It's, like, glued to my face.

I'm sorry I have a bitch face.
So...

- I love that you're subtitling
your face right now.

[laughter]

- Shut up!

- Up next,
"Jewelsh Shparklesh."

- Hi!

- Started out really strong.

You got up to the podium,

and you said,
that was intelligent.

[laughter]

- So that was
actually really funny

and my hopes were very high.

When you, kind of like
Arrietty, started not hitting...

- Let me say...[giggles]

- It threw you off.

However, the difference is,
you were pushing through it.

You weren't gonna stop.

You were just doing
bad joke after bad joke.

[laughter]

- Damn.

- You are absolutely stunning.

I love the big poof.

Your superpower, I think,
is your sweetness.

And the roasting thing
is a skill

I really think
you should work on because

you can get away with murder.

You could be
the Caitlyn Jenner of drag.

- Wait!
- [groans]

- Wait.
- Fuck.

- Up next, Lana Ja'Rae.

- Hi.

- White!

[laughter]

- Some of these jokes really
just white themselves.

- Honey, those white jokes

really, really,
really got it for me.

- When it's white, it's white.

- Congratulations.

I hope you're so
proud of yourself.

I am so proud of you.

I get Britney Spears's dad.

I want to just lock you
in a house

and have you all to myself.

- Well... well, yes.

[laughs]

- Did Naomi wear this
in the Dsquared show?

- Yes, this was Naomi Campbell
with Dsquared 2003.

- Yeah.

But for here, like,
it's different.

This is, like, I got this
at the mall at Wet Seal.

That's not even open anymore.

- That's the meanest thing
I've heard today.

- There's not enough Lana
in this outfit.

But you proved that
in the roast tonight.

- I'm good...

- Actually, I don't give a fuck.

- I really got
a sense of who you are,

and that was so refreshing.

Up next, "Sham Shtar."

- You were a Southern belle.

You came in, you stuck
the knife in very slow.

You turned it around, honey.

And those girls felt
every piece of it, even me.

- Good!

- And it's hard
to stick something in me

and I don't feel it, baby.

[laughter]

- When you said,
as we say in the South,

bless your sweet little heart.

- Disease.

- That floored me.

- Your performance was
just amazing.

You make it look easy,
which is kind of annoying.

- And then tonight,
this is a drag look.

- So y'all can do
your favorite looks.

Just bring it here dragged up.

- Up next,
Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- Hello.

- Lydia, your comic timing...

- You're not racing anyone.

- It was so perfect.

I was like, is that
my biological clock?

Why... What is ticking
so perfectly?

- Thank you so much.

- What gathered me was
the oscillating fan.

Girl.

- That was my favorite one.

- I love this look.

It's very you.

It's very ballsy, so to speak.

It doesn't really read
short shorts to me,

I'm not going to lie.

- Listen, even this
outfit, I get you.

You're the kids I grew up with
in the East Village.

More importantly, you get it.

- All right.

Everybody say Lexi Love.

- Yes.

- So what I really loved
about your roast was

how you admitted
when the jokes did not...

[laughs]

When they were not landing.

You brought us in,

so we didn't have
that uneasy feeling.

However, they weren't funny.

- Got it.

- This look tonight, I like it.

It's all shredded and tore up.

Have you worn something where
you drug it on the floor before

while I was here?

- Uh, I don't know.

- Probably every week,
yeah, yeah.

- Every week, Ru said?

- Now I know you had
some issues with going last.

- I got upset because
I felt like the placement

of Suzie right before me
was going to throw me off.

And Jewels knows
my inner saboteur loves

to tell myself the things that

Suzie Toot is better than me at.

Because let's face it,
I was sucking dick

and smoking meth
while she was studying

and becoming better.

- You and Suzie are totally
two different kinds of queens.

Your saboteur is lying to you.

- You know who you remind me of?

Me.

We're the bitches that
don't take our Adderall

because we forgot it
in some guy's car.

I don't have any notes
or critiques for you.

I do have something to say
to your inner critic.

And that is, fuck you.

Let this be the last time
that your inner saboteur

gets to speak.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, queens.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right.

Now, just between
us squirrel friends,

what do you think?

Let's start with Arrietty.

- Her looks are amazing.

But when it comes down
to the challenge, honey,

Arrietty was her own
worst enemy.

- She's very concerned
with how she looks

and how other people see her.

And honey, if you're doing
a roast, you have to throw

that stuff out the window.

- Yes.

- Jewels Sparkles.

- Listen.
Jewels' jokes didn't land.

Honey, there were people
that caught more STDs

than they caught her jokes.

[laughter]

- But Jewels looked
so pretty tonight.

Yes, Marie Antoinette, I am
absolutely fucking sick of.

[laughter]

Stop!

But she looked so pretty.

- Lana Ja'Rae.

- I cannot believe
how funny Lana Ja'Rae was

tonight in that roast.

- Period.

- I think she was like, listen.

What have I got to lose?

- I too,
enjoyed her roast, honey.

I could have cut me a piece
of that and had it twice.

- Mm, fix me a plate.

- But her outfit tonight?

I didn't want a plate
of what she had on.

- The top looked very cheap.

I think I saw the children
who made it's sweat

sort of on the...

- Dripped on the top?

[laughter]

- Sam Star.

- She needed that one critique
a couple weeks ago,

and now she has hit
the gas pedal.

Tonight Sam Star got
up to the podium.

It was as if she's been
hosting for years.

- She has this
Tracy Flick energy

that is normally
a little repellent.

- Yeah.

- It's exciting to watch someone

want something so bad.

- Let's talk about
Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- As far as the jokes go,
those were probably

my favorite of the night.

- Her jizz is
still in my stomach.

- Oh, God.
- They were cutting.

They were roasty.

- I like my roast
the way I like my men.

- How's that?

- Dark!
[laughter]

- Maybe it's 'cause
I'm a comedian.

I enjoyed how playful
the outfit was.

I enjoyed the sparkly
butthole in the back.

Love Butthole for more reasons.

- Let's talk about Lexi Love.

- In the challenge, I wanted her

to let her saboteur be
what makes her win.

Because when you are a person
who struggled with addiction,

there's somebody that looks
like a piece of your addiction

sitting right next to you.

- She just has got to do
to her inner saboteur

whatever she did
to all those jeans.

- Uh-huh.
- Yes.

- My saboteur is always there.

In fact,
I've made friends with it.

I go, hey, girl. What's up?

Oh, you still there?

But I'm gonna do
this thing over here.

Once she learns that trick,

I think there's no stopping
Miss Lexi Love.

- I think we call that
multiple personality disorder.

- Yes, yes.

[claps] Silence!

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

[tense music]

Arrietty.

You were royal on the runway,
but your roast was a flush.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

- Lana Ja'Rae.

Tonight,
your roast was so wrong,

it was white.

[laughter]

Sam Star.

Tonight, you served
Southern-fried shade.

And honey, we sopped it up.

- With a biscuit.

- Lydia Butthole Kollins.

Tonight, you tore
that roast a new one.

[dramatic music]

Butthole.

Condragulations.

You are the winner
of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my God, Lydia!

- Come on, Lyddie!

- Oh, my God.

- You've won
a cash tip of $5,000.

- Thank you so much.

I don't even know what to say.

It feels extra sweet
to win the roast,

especially because
it's a comedy challenge.

I did not expect to win
one of those.

- Lana, Sam, you are both safe.

The three of you may join
the other girls.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

- I'm just feeling really
on top of the world.

And I'm funny.

Oh, my God, bitch.

[ominous music]

- Jewels Sparkles.

You soared on the runway.

But in the roast,
your jokes did not land.

Lexi Love.

You know where you're going.

But in the roast,
you lost direction.

Lexi Love...

you are safe.

You may join the other girls.

That means Jewels Sparkles,
I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

- I can't believe I'm in
this position right now.

I'm not gonna let this
send me home.

I have to fight.

Arrietty, you might've
stolen my jokes,

but you are not stealing
my spot in this competition.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your
last chance to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come...

[thunder cracking]

For you to lip sync...

For your life.

- This is my second time
lip syncing,

and it feels good and bad.

Good, because, I mean,
she just did all this shit,

so I'm like,
I want to battle her.

And then bad because
I do care about her.

- Good luck,

and don't fuck it up.

- [singing] Hello, girls

Hello, Beyoncé
- Come on, Jewels!

- [singing] Hello, fellas

You're pretty swell

Those petty ones

Can't [...] with me

'Cause I'm a clever girl

- OK!

- [singing] We clapping

We drumming

Ya, ya, ya, ya

Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya

Ya, ya, ya, ya

Oh, ya, ya, ya

Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, yeah

Ya, ya, ya, ya

- Oh, shit!

- [singing] B-E-Y-I-N-C-E, ya

My family lived

And died in America

Good ole USA

Good ole USA

Whole lotta red

In that white and blue

History can't be erased

Ooh

Are you looking for

A new America

- Arrietty, you are using
that bustdown wig

to its fullest capabilities.

Inches!

And you better wave them all
over every inch of this stage

if you want to stay.

- [singing] I don't want to hear
no ya ya ya ya

Ya ya ya ya

You got me moving

Boy you got me

Ooh, and you might

Know what you doing

- Jewels is floating across
the stage and giving puss.

This is a fight.

- [singing] He's giving me

Sweet sensations

We gone bust it down

From Texas
- [singing] From Texas

- [singing] To Gary
- [singing] To Gary

- [singing] All the way down

To New York City, New York City

Give me a kiss, big daddy

You're so pretty,
you're so pretty

But you gotta

Keep the faith

We gotta

Keep the faith

- Come on, bitches!

[cheering]

- [singing] Ya

- Yes!

- Yeah!

- Yes!

[all cheering]

- Goddamn!
- Oh!

- Way to go, bitches!

- Yes, baby!

- Queens.

I've made my decision.

[suspenseful music]

Jewels Sparkles...

shantay, you stay.

[somber music]

- Thank you so much.

- You may join the other girls.

- I love you so much.

I love you.

- Y'all, everybody get ready
for Arrietty.

Now sashay away.

- Love you.

- Right, right, right.

Soak it in. Soak it in.

- Well, it looks like
the runway category

just dropped immensely.

- Oh.

- Y'all ugly boogers.

[laughs]

Bye!

- This is when
she decides to be funny?

[screaming]

- Put that in!

Put that in!

- I just lost.

How fun.

I did showcase
a lot of my outfits.

I looked sickening,
which is what I do best.

Totally fucking crazy.

Except for right now.

To the ones I like, kill it.

Knock out the other girls.

Ooh.

That's so cunt.

I guess I'm coming off
a little aggressive.

Which is not the way
I want to end.

With that in mind...

- Condragulations, queens.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

All: Amen!

- All right.

Now let the music play.

[singing] Work, they wanna see
you
let it out

I know you wanna work

They wanna see you go off

I know you wanna work

You know I am in business

Come, let's give 'em

Just what they want

They wanna see you work

- Next time on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You'll be acting in
"Ross Mathews vs. The Ducks."

[duck quacks]

- And action.

- Keep my husband's butt
out of your mouth!

- Ah!

- Ah!
- [laughs]

- Bad body bitch!

I messed that up. Sorry.

[dramatic music]

- Your energy was just
larger than life.

- All eyes sort of went to her.

- I was like, uh-oh.

- Ah!

- [singing] They want to see you
let it out

I know you want to work,
they want to see you go off

I know you want to work,
you know I am in business

Come, let's give them
just what they want

They want to see you work

They want to see you let it out

I know you want to work,
they want to see you go off

I know you want to work,
you know I am in business

Come, let's give them
just what they want

They want to see you
work, work, work

I know you want to
work, work, work

Work, work, work, work, work

Work, work, work, work, work

Work, work, work, work, work

I know you want to
work, work, work, work, work

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