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1
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,973
He's waking up.
2
00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,591
Can you hear me, Mr. Hanks?
3
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,508
What's going on?
4
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:31,814
Try to relax.
5
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:34,991
Do you know your name?
6
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,993
Raff Hanks.
7
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,255
Great.
8
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,257
Do you know who
the president is?
9
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,392
Four more years!
10
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:48,091
Four more years!
Four more years!
11
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,962
Four more years!
12
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,662
Four more years!
Four more years!
13
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:57,274
Four more years! Four more
years!
14
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,450
Four more years!
15
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,104
Well, you did it.
16
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,801
Wedid it.
17
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,281
Four more years!
18
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,630
Stevens did it.
19
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:06,979
All right.
20
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:11,375
But with our help.
Our numbers, our data.
21
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,421
We gave him this election.
22
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,857
Can you not jinx things?
23
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,859
I mean, no one's even counted
any votes yet.
24
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,296
Oh, God.
25
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,037
I almost forgot.
26
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,692
Guess what came
in the mail today.
27
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,172
Hmm.
28
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:28,349
Subtle. They never thought Stevens
would get reelected.
29
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,133
Especially not with me
running his campaign.
30
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,221
They were wrong.
31
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,267
Again, can you just
not jinx things?
32
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,096
Come on, you've seen the polls.
You see the crowds?
33
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,316
We took the most unpopular
president in American history,
34
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,231
and we turned it around.
35
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,278
I want Justin Timberlake
to play me in the HBO movie.
36
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,149
You really think they're going
to turn this into a movie?
37
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,585
Of course they are.
38
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:50,327
It's only the greatest comeback
in American history.
39
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:53,156
Well, now you've
really jinxed things, so...
40
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,159
Raff, Maura, the results
are coming in.
41
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,421
The president wants to see you.
42
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,728
Stevens! Stevens! Stevens!
43
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:03,775
Stevens! Stevens!
Stevens! Stevens!
44
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:07,083
It all started out so well.
45
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,563
Do you know why you're here,
Raff...
46
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,608
who did this to you?
47
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:13,481
Do you know where you are?
48
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,352
Who are you?
49
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:19,791
I'm here by order of the
president of the United States.
50
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,620
Then I'm fucked.
51
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,845
Hey.
52
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,853
Thanks.
Thank you.
53
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,119
What the fuck, Raff?!
54
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,773
Mr. President?
55
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,689
They're saying
I just lost New York,
56
00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:50,126
lost New Jersey.
57
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,172
I'm from fuckin' New Jersey.
58
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,826
I'm Mr. Fuckin' New Jersey!
59
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,872
We're losing the whole
goddamn country!
60
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,059
No, my data says...
61
00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,754
Oh, your data's horseshit!
62
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,616
I listened to you.
63
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:04,140
I listened to you.
Your numbers and your polls
64
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,838
and your fancy data
and your high-tech baloney.
65
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:10,494
And guess what.
I lost.
66
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,193
I am a one-term joke.
67
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,239
I'm a diaper filled
with baby shit,
68
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:20,069
and it is all your fault!
69
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,853
Fuck!
70
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,947
Raff, listen, it's gonna
be okay. All right?
71
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,775
You can come back from this.
72
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,256
I mean, you're the
wunderkind, right?
73
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,133
Voters are angry.
74
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,744
After two years in office,
the president is facing
75
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,094
increasing criticism
for his handling of the economy,
76
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,488
increasing crime, the
environment, and foreign policy.
77
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,229
I mean, the world is a mess.
78
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,579
And these politicians,
they're not helping anybody.
79
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,971
We should just throw out
the whole system,
80
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,103
start over again.
81
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,105
Well, let me ask
my distinguished panel.
82
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,150
What should the president do
about the situation
83
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,239
in the Middle East?
84
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,762
Thanks for asking, Sam.
85
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,068
"Well, you're
one of the most admired
86
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,374
political minds
in the business."
87
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,638
That I am, Sam.
88
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,640
That I am.
89
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,904
I just can't pay my rent.
90
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:17,257
Hey, buddy.
91
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,738
You really ran
Stevens' campaign?
92
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:24,438
I did. I ran it
right into the ground.
93
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,314
In lighter news...
94
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,490
Tommy, come on,
hit me with another.
95
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,753
...look no further than
11-year-old YouTube sensation
96
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,233
Oliver Foley.
97
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:41,629
His latest video is racking up
millions of hits because
98
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,196
Oliver's running for president.
99
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,591
Oh, hey, hi.
I'm Oliver Henry Foley,
100
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:52,466
and I'm announcing my candidacy
for president of the USA.
101
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,904
Here's why. I want people
to be nice to each other.
102
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,341
I really do.
I know it sounds cheesy,
103
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,951
but it's the truth.
104
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,215
And it's a good enough reason
to run for president as any.
105
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,566
I also believe that
everyone should go to school
106
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,958
and play video games,
107
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,134
because it's good
for your hand-eye coordination.
108
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:12,616
I may be a kid,
but I sure do get America.
109
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,924
It's the land of equality
and freedom for everyone.
110
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,143
Except maybe my little sister.
111
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,058
You should run
that kid's campaign.
112
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,279
He tells it like it is. That's crazy.
113
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,889
Eight million views crazy.
114
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,849
Considering all the crap
coming out of Washington,
115
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,111
I'd vote for that kid
in a heartbeat.
116
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:32,070
Me, too.
I like what he's saying.
117
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,595
He's a little cutie.
118
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,735
Meet Raff Hanks, a wunderkind.
119
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,998
Once the most successful
campaign manager
120
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,696
of his generation.
121
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:52,874
Now Raff finds himself
in a valley of booze and regret.
122
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:57,182
One filled with bad choices
and even worse polling.
123
00:05:57,226 --> 00:06:00,838
He's about to embark on
a misguided road to redemption.
124
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,797
And on his way back to the top,
125
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,103
he'll have to take a dark detour
126
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,367
through The Twilight Zone.
127
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,416
You're traveling
through another dimension,
128
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,985
a dimension not only of
sight and sound but of mind.
129
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,249
It is the middle ground
between light and shadow,
130
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,991
between science
and superstition.
131
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,559
And it lies between
the pit of one's fears
132
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,431
and the summit
of one's knowledge.
133
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:31,608
You are now traveling through
a dimension of imagination.
134
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:35,482
You've just crossed over
into The Twilight Zone.
135
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:44,055
Mr. Hanks, you did
a great service for our country.
136
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,970
Jesus.
137
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:48,190
Our country?
138
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,888
I saw an angle, man.
139
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,064
I saw my shot, I took it.
140
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:32,060
Mmm. This really is delicious.
141
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,888
- Mmm.
- Tuesdays is spaghetti,
142
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:34,889
and Wednesdays is hamburgers.
143
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,499
Cheeseburgers.
144
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,022
Cheeseburgers,
if you're into that.
145
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,677
Can you pass the
Parmesan cheese?
146
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,201
Oliver.
Yeah?
147
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,899
Do you really want
to be president?
148
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:48,250
Yep. I'm sick of
all the war stuff
149
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,731
and the environment stuff
and the fact that
150
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,211
everybody lies all the time
151
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,257
and that we only get two weeks
off at Christmas break.
152
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,388
Wait.
153
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,042
If Oliver gets to be president,
154
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,435
do I get to be vice president?
155
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,350
Uh, maybe, honey.
Eat your salad.
156
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,832
I first started
my YouTube channel
157
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,530
because my friend Charlie had
one, and I wanted one, too.
158
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,793
Then I started vlogging
about Minecraft,
159
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,316
which was sort of boring
because Minecraftis
160
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,928
for little kids, and
I'm not little anymore.
161
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,843
Then I started vlogging
about Fortnite,
162
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,018
which got me a bunch of views.
163
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,673
But then I decided
to run for president,
164
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,502
and I got 12 million views.
165
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,460
And then you showed up.
166
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,462
And then I showed up.
167
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,508
What'd I just say?
168
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:34,122
Really, Raff, why are you here?
169
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,298
I know this thing has
gotten a lot of coverage,
170
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,430
but he's a kid, it's a joke.
171
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,954
Not to me.
172
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,391
People are really responding
to what Oliver is saying.
173
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,306
He's 11.
It's a technicality.
174
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,916
To being president.
175
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,788
Listen, your name will
be on the ballot.
176
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,006
He'll just be the one in charge.
177
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:53,184
Oh. This is getting
better and better.
178
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,491
Listen, A-Andrew Johnson
was a tailor.
179
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,406
Teddy Roosevelt was a rancher.
180
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,060
Jimmy Carter was
a peanut farmer.
181
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,583
This country is very open
182
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,890
to leaders
without political baggage.
183
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:06,546
Raff, I googled you.
I did some research.
184
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,896
I know you've had a hard run.
You battled the booze...
185
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:13,814
Joseph, I'm off it, completely.
I am a new man.
186
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,339
I mean, I am drinking chamomile
tea, for the love of Pete.
187
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,777
Well, still, we see what
you're trying to do here.
188
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,389
You're an opportunist.
189
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,870
Of course I am.
190
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,396
I need this.
191
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,008
This is what I do.
192
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,401
But Oliver, your son,
has tapped into
193
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,013
something very, very real.
194
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,492
He connects with people.
195
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,626
Do you realize how rare
that is in politics,
196
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,672
to actually connect with people?
197
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,806
I honestly believe
Oliver can be president.
198
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,112
Come on, now...
199
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,636
And win or lose, when
all this is said and done,
200
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,856
he will have had the experience
of a lifetime.
201
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,336
And he will have made enough
money from endorsements
202
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,991
and TV deals and book deals
to pay for his college
203
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,907
and Lily's college,
the dog's college.
204
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,084
You'll have your face
back on TV.
205
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,912
Exactly.
206
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,959
Everybody wins,
nobody gets hurt.
207
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,439
This is the American dream.
208
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,487
We're making a new video.
Lily's gonna film it.
209
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,184
You want to watch?
It's gonna be awesome.
210
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,677
- Go.
- Go?
211
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,113
Yes.
Now?
212
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,681
Go now.Okay. Here are the ten things
213
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:42,163
I promise the American people
if I'm elected president.
214
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,774
Oh. Hi, Homer.
215
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:47,429
This is Homer. Anyways,
216
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,084
number one: jobs.
Jobs for everyone.
217
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:54,131
Number two: long weekends,
longer vacations.
218
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,134
Number three:
less Star Warsmovies.
219
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,267
Number four:
better air to breathe,
220
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,922
which means more bikes
and less cars.
221
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,533
Number five: less war.
222
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:08,406
Number six: dogs for dog people
and cats for cat people.
223
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,973
Number seven:
224
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,410
more pancake houses
throughout the land, please.
225
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:16,850
Number eight: free video games
for every American!
226
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:20,375
Number nine: every month has
to have its own holiday.
227
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:23,595
Number ten:
dessert is before dinner!
228
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,209
Got hot dogs waiting on the bus.
Ketchup and mustard.
229
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,819
The little juice boxes
like you like.
230
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,386
And baby carrots?
231
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,041
Of course. With ranch dressing.
I'm no monster.
232
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:36,478
We got CNN and Fox
this afternoon,
233
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,871
Rachel Maddow tonight.
234
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,350
She's nice.
235
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,917
Super nice.
And you promised me
236
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,353
the interview
with the Times, remember?
237
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,964
Only if we can stop
at the water park
238
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,400
on the way back to the airport.
239
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,750
You got it.
240
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,665
Hey, what about the song?
241
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,884
And the music video?
242
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,147
I get a lot of views
with my videos.
243
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,062
Recording studio booked,
dancers are rehearsing.
244
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,499
It's been two months now.
245
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,284
You can do better, Raff.
246
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:01,721
You're right.
247
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,766
I can do better.
248
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:04,941
Wow.
249
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,726
The wunderkind
and the wunderkind.
250
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,380
Maura McGowan.
251
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,905
What are you doing here on the
mean streets of rural Iowa?
252
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:15,430
I saw your mug on TV,
figured I'd come say hi.
253
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,388
You want to get the band back
together again, don't you?
254
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,829
I wrote you off after Stevens.
255
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,265
I was wrong.
256
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,875
"I was wrong."
257
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,659
My three favorite words
in the English language.
258
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,879
Okay, don't push it.
259
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,446
You know you missed me, Maura.
260
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,665
A little bit.
261
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,237
Good. Come on.
262
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:43,458
So what are we going to do,
though, when it all, you know,
263
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,851
blows up in our faces?
264
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,904
Look, Mr. Hanks,
265
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:57,907
we're going to have to operate.
Your condition is not stable.
266
00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:01,737
I'm not sure that I ever was.
267
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,045
A stable person would've seen
what was happening.
268
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:07,264
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
269
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,831
♪ Let's hit it
270
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,399
♪ We the people
all across the nation ♪
271
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:14,750
♪ It's about time
for a celebration ♪
272
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,927
♪ Bright future
is the new sensation ♪
273
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,451
♪ Time to break free
like summer vacation ♪
274
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:23,803
♪ Put your hands up
if you feel that, whoa ♪
275
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,195
♪ If you had enough... Hey.
276
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:27,502
Hey. Those national ads
done yet?
277
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,330
We have that TV space on hold.Almost.
278
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,462
Oliver hasn't signed off yet
completely, but he will.
279
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,464
He will.
I hope so.
280
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:36,119
You know, his last set of
notes were four pages long,
281
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,991
all handwritten
and mostly involved
282
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,862
inserting more shots of his dog.
283
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,865
He's smart. The kid's smart.
284
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,214
Hey!
285
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,173
♪ Young enough to hope,
oh, oh, oh... ♪I know.
286
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,088
So good.
287
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:50,003
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw
288
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,613
♪ Young enough to hope, oh, oh
289
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,441
♪ Oh, old enough to vote
290
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:54,921
♪ We can do this.
291
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,139
That's a cut!
292
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,234
Man, that kid is cute, though.
293
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,013
Fuckin' A he is.
294
00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:05,942
I'm sorry, we have
295
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,150
that doctor's appointment
to get to now.
296
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,891
No way, Mom!
297
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,067
Oliver, do not argue
with your mother.
298
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,503
- I'm not going!
- I'm not.
299
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:13,635
You're going to the doctor.
300
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:14,723
End of discussion.
301
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:15,898
No!
Yes!
302
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,987
- Bullshit!
- Oliver!
303
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,163
- I hate the doctor.
- It's always some old man
304
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:21,991
with bad breath stabbing
me with needles.
305
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,471
The doctor is just
there to make sure
306
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:24,689
that you are good and healthy.
307
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:25,995
I am healthy!
308
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,562
I just danced for,
like, five hours!
309
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:28,780
You're going to the doctor.
310
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,478
End of discussion, young man.
311
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:31,914
I hate you! Oliver!
312
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,829
I hate you!
I hate you! I hate you!
313
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,787
I hate you! I hate you!
I hate you!
314
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:39,400
I hate you.
I hate you.
315
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,491
I saw what I wanted to.
316
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,492
♪ Let's hit it
317
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,710
♪ Self-evident
318
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,451
♪ Oliver for president
319
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:50,672
♪ He's the one we need to be
the White House resident... ♪
320
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,283
Well, Oliver's not one of these
greasy-palmed hucksters.
321
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,285
We got plenty enough of those.
322
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,460
There's something inspirational
323
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,201
about starting off
with someone fresh.
324
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,638
You know, someone that believes
in the things that I believe in.
325
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:04,120
♪ Young enough to hope, oh, oh,
oh, old enough to vote... ♪
326
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,122
He wants to make
this country stronger.
327
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,558
I mean, he wants to bring us
back to basics,
328
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,647
back to what made
this, this nation great.
329
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:10,997
My grandkids love him.
330
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,129
♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪
331
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,697
He's making promises
just like a politician would,
332
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,178
but Oliver Foley
is undeniably different.
333
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,355
There's a momentum here
of a kind I haven't seen before.
334
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:22,965
It doesn't matter how old
he is to me. H-He could be
335
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,880
eight years old, he could be
eight months old for all I care.
336
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:25,735
He's got my vote.
337
00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:26,413
What's amazing
338
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,405
is that this kid
is in the race at all,
339
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,581
let alone now
just six points down
340
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:32,148
in the latest national polls.
341
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,977
Oliver Foley has captured
the imagination
342
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,457
of the American public.
343
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,459
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw
344
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,722
♪ Young enough to hope,
oh, oh, oh ♪
345
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,984
♪ Old enough to vote
346
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,378
♪ We can do this.
347
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,814
Oliver,
348
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:48,904
your competitors
have called you "uninformed,
349
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,515
ill-informed,
or not informed at all"
350
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,996
when it comes
to global politics.
351
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,650
Can you respond
to their complaints?
352
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,478
What do you feel
we should be doing
353
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,697
with our troops still in Iraq?
354
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:05,051
I-I'm glad you asked me
about Iraq.
355
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:08,228
It's-it's an... it's an
intriguing question,
356
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,970
and it is well worth answering,
357
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:15,104
just not
in 60-second sound-bites.
358
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,454
Wait. Hold on.
359
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,847
I don't even know
what that fucking means.
360
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,023
Language. Sorry, but this
is ridiculous.
361
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,894
He hasn't memorized anything
I've asked him to,
362
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:26,028
and the first primary debate
is one week away.
363
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,204
I don't know why you hired me.
He can't be coached.
364
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,902
It's a goddamn
shit-show. Enough!
365
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,513
You're right, I don't know
366
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,688
why I hired you,
it wasa mistake.
367
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,342
Frankly, we don't need another
368
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,779
canned answer that people
are gonna know is baloney.
369
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,824
He's gonna be embarrassed.
370
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,304
It's a joke and he's a sideshow.
371
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,132
A sideshow who's only
372
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,916
six points down in Iowa
373
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,179
and whose latest music video
374
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,442
has 56 million views.
375
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,705
He's got you there, Larry.
Kid knows his YouTube.
376
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,363
Larry...
377
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,018
...you're fired.
378
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,503
Is he right, Raff?
379
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,244
Am I gonna be embarrassed?
380
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,901
We have had decades
of politicians
381
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,337
who claim to know everything,
382
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:17,297
and where has that taken
this country, Oliver?
383
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:22,084
It's taken us
straight into the crapper.
384
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,738
You're gonna be fine.
385
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,045
You just do your thing, okay?
386
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,699
Thanks, Raff.
387
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,572
Oh.
388
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,496
I mean, I guess I don't
really understand taxes,
389
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,846
if that's really
your qu-question. I mean,
390
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:47,936
taxes are good,
except when they're bad.
391
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,459
But they're mostly good, right?
392
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,505
U-Um... uh...
Wow.
393
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:55,074
Uh, except in Monopoly.
Then they're bad.
394
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:58,251
And...
Hey, nice work there, guys.
395
00:17:58,294 --> 00:17:59,817
Real car accident.
396
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,384
You know what, Pete? Just leave it.
397
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,169
We were worried there
for a little while, but this?
398
00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:04,107
This is beautiful.
399
00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:07,390
I think there's a dogcatcher race
in Florenceville Junction, Raff.
400
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,262
Maybe you could get
on that campaign.
401
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,698
That's really funny.
That's really funny.Okay...
402
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,135
Just let it go.Congratulations.
403
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,181
We trusted you.
404
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,053
Listen, your boy's gonna get
his sea legs soon, I know it.
405
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,924
I can feel it.
He's gonna be fine.
406
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,144
His sea legs?
This is a disaster.
407
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,059
No. Joseph... They're destroying
him, Raff.
408
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,321
They're destroying my boy.
409
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,758
No, he's gonna be f...
Lily, Lily, sweetheart...
410
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,195
He's gonna be... you guys.
411
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,848
Come on. You guys...
412
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,637
Mom?
413
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,904
Mom? Mom?
414
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,340
Mom.
415
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,622
Try to relax.
416
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:09,104
If you're gonna do it,
just do it.
417
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,760
The doctor was held up.
He's on a... different level.
418
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,196
He's on his way.
419
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,111
God! Mr. Hanks!
420
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,158
Put me under!
Save my life or let me die, man!
421
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,816
Two days before Iowa votes
in the first caucus
422
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:29,342
or primary of the season,
the race is truly shaping up
423
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,562
after the embarrassing flameout
of 11-year-old Oliver Foley
424
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,565
in a disastrous campaign
led by Raff Hanks,
425
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:40,266
one that will be analyzed and
joked about for decades to...
426
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,530
Thanks for taking pity
on me, Tommy.
427
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,096
I don't have pity on you, Raff.
428
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,055
I just don't want you crying
in the bar again.
429
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:49,231
Scares the customers.
430
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,320
Right.
431
00:19:56,717 --> 00:20:00,851
Well, so much for that
chamomile tea phase, huh?
432
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,985
Yeah, I replaced it with the
"decimate your liver" phase.
433
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,552
It's much more enjoyable.
434
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,249
Tommy, would you get
this fine lady
435
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:08,816
a bourbon on the rocks, please?
436
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:09,817
Make it a double, please.
437
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:11,645
Oh, that's my girl.
438
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,168
How you holding up?
439
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,823
Well, better than
you are, apparently.
440
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,521
Thanks.
441
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:21,785
Oh, wow.
442
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,614
So what are you doing here?
443
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,007
I got things to do.
444
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,052
I got nuts to eat.
I got beer to cry into.
445
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:32,143
No, I really am here, actually,
to see how you're doing.
446
00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:34,450
And from the looks of things,
447
00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:37,671
it's... not a pretty picture.
448
00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:40,630
You know what the worst part is?
449
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,067
Hmm?
450
00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:45,592
I started this whole thing
to get out of the mess I was in,
451
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:46,941
but somewhere along the line,
452
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:49,900
I started liking
what the kid was saying.
453
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,815
Uh-oh.
454
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,600
Yeah. Not the whole
455
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,689
"I actually believe
my candidate" story.
456
00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:57,299
I do believe in him.
457
00:20:57,343 --> 00:21:00,128
All right, he didn't know shit
about the tax code.
458
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,695
But he was human.
459
00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:03,349
He was vulnerable,
and that's more than I can say
460
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,046
about everybody else up there.
461
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:08,092
You know, I never should have
let him go on the debate stage.
462
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:10,312
He should've kept making
his videos.
463
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,835
We could've done one
about world peace.
464
00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,360
He could've been holding
a-a homemade globe,
465
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,839
and everyone would have
eaten it up, and no one
466
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,059
would give a shit
about the debate. You know what?
467
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,235
It's too late now. Right?
468
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,802
Yeah.
469
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:24,326
Yeah, it's too late.
470
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,241
You know, I actually
stopped by their place.
471
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,243
The Foleys.
472
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,375
You did?
How they doing?
473
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,986
Um... to be expected.
474
00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:33,770
Maybe...
475
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,555
a little bit worse.
476
00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,732
Well, you know their dog, Homer?
477
00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:40,211
Yeah?
478
00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,388
He's got some kind of cancer.
He's gonna die.
479
00:21:42,431 --> 00:21:45,216
No. No.
480
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:46,870
Yeah.
481
00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:49,177
Oh, God, I fucked everything up.
482
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:50,570
I even killed their dog.
483
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:53,268
Oliver says hi, though.
484
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,618
He did?
485
00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,228
He doesn't blame you.
486
00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:59,100
He wanted me to tell you that.
487
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:01,276
Oh, he's a good kid.
488
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,365
He also wanted me to ask you
if you thought it was okay
489
00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:06,281
for him to post a vlog
about his dying dog.
490
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,239
Why not, I guess.
491
00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,285
I mean, that's what I said.
492
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:13,201
It's really sad, you know?
493
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,942
I mean, it's
494
00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:16,857
sweet how much he...
495
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:19,555
cares about that poor animal.
496
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:26,345
Oh, Jesus.
497
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:27,520
It's perfect.
498
00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,566
A vlog about a dying dog.
499
00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:33,134
Oh, my God, provided it's done
correctly, it's perfect.
500
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,179
Raff... Are we on the ballot still?
501
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,878
Please tell me we are still
on the ballot.
502
00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:40,359
It was too late
to get us taken off, but...
503
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:42,926
Raff, what are you doing?
504
00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:44,885
I am getting Oliver Foley
elected president
505
00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:46,234
of the United States of America.
506
00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:48,454
We're winning
this goddamn election!
507
00:22:54,155 --> 00:22:55,504
That's not good.
508
00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:01,118
This is Homer. My dog.
509
00:23:01,162 --> 00:23:02,424
He's a Labradoodle.
510
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:03,991
I've known him my whole life.
511
00:23:04,034 --> 00:23:07,429
He's the best dog
in the whole wide world.
512
00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:09,475
He's also dying.
513
00:23:09,518 --> 00:23:10,824
He has cancer.
514
00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:13,783
A dog type of cancer
that's sort of incurable.
515
00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:17,047
Come on. Come over.
516
00:23:17,091 --> 00:23:18,962
This is my sister Lily.
517
00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:21,835
And these are my parents.
518
00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:23,706
It's pretty clear
I don't know nearly enough
519
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,229
to be president alone.
520
00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:26,927
But if you elect me,
521
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:30,191
I'll surround myself with
the nicest and smartest people.
522
00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:32,367
I'll work so hard
to make you proud
523
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:35,762
and make sure that you can hug
your sick pets longer
524
00:23:35,805 --> 00:23:39,592
and that you'll get to spend
as many healthy days as possible
525
00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:41,028
with the ones you love.
526
00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:44,597
Because family...
family's everything.
527
00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,517
♪ Hey♪♪ Let's hit it
528
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,085
♪ We the people
all across the nation ♪
529
00:23:55,129 --> 00:23:57,653
♪ It's about time
for a celebration ♪
530
00:23:57,697 --> 00:24:01,222
Oliver Foley, surprising
every pollster in Iowa,
531
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:02,876
has won the first caucus.
532
00:24:02,919 --> 00:24:05,182
In a stunning come-
from-behind upset,
533
00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:08,751
11-year-old Oliver Foley
has won the Iowa caucus.
534
00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:13,756
I don't know why people
are so surprised.
535
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,367
I mean, Oliver really
connects with people.
536
00:24:16,411 --> 00:24:17,847
He was the 13th story
on the news,
537
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,371
and together we made him
headline material.
538
00:24:20,415 --> 00:24:21,895
I mean, a-after tonight,
I-I think he's poised
539
00:24:21,938 --> 00:24:23,462
to win the whole thing.
I really do.
540
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:26,421
Really? All the national polls
put him very far behind.
541
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,858
Listen, polls are meaningless
when the American people
542
00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:31,426
find someone who honestly
and truly speaks
543
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,210
to their core values.
544
00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:35,212
♪ Oh, oh, oh,
old enough to vote ♪
545
00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:36,475
♪ We can do this.
546
00:25:05,852 --> 00:25:08,507
I'm the President! Yeah!
547
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,603
This is so cool.
548
00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:22,172
This is the president.
Bomb Russia!
549
00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:23,217
I'm just kidding.
550
00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,219
I'm just kidding.
Don't worry.
551
00:25:26,873 --> 00:25:28,831
Can't believe I get
to live here now.
552
00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:30,006
Well, you're in charge now,
Oliver...
553
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:31,834
uh, Mr. President.
554
00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:33,009
You're the leader
555
00:25:33,053 --> 00:25:34,445
of the free world.
556
00:25:34,489 --> 00:25:37,274
Well... as leader
of the free world,
557
00:25:37,318 --> 00:25:39,755
we need to fulfill
my campaign promises.
558
00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:42,062
ASAP.
Absolutely.
559
00:25:42,105 --> 00:25:46,283
First off, free video games
for every American.
560
00:25:46,327 --> 00:25:48,242
Nintendo, PlayStation,
561
00:25:48,285 --> 00:25:49,809
whatever they want.
562
00:25:49,852 --> 00:25:50,853
Um...
563
00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:52,594
Oliver...
564
00:25:52,638 --> 00:25:55,554
Honey, I don't think that we can
quite just do that.
565
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,338
What are you talking about, Mom?
566
00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:59,122
Well, I mean that
there are laws.
567
00:25:59,166 --> 00:26:00,559
Congress.
568
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:03,474
We talked
about this, remember, honey?
569
00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:05,476
But I promised
everyone video games,
570
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,740
and you, Mr.
Chief of Staff,
571
00:26:07,783 --> 00:26:09,611
are gonna make
sure that happens.
572
00:26:09,655 --> 00:26:12,048
Well, I'm not quite sure
that Congress is gonna
573
00:26:12,092 --> 00:26:14,355
go for that, Mr.
President, especially
574
00:26:14,398 --> 00:26:16,313
given the way the national
debt looks right now.
575
00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,446
And plus, companies aren't
just going to willingly
576
00:26:18,489 --> 00:26:19,708
give away their games.
577
00:26:19,752 --> 00:26:21,275
Guess they'll just have to.
578
00:26:21,318 --> 00:26:22,668
Yes, but... But nothing.
579
00:26:22,711 --> 00:26:24,408
They have to.
580
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,149
I made a promise.
581
00:26:26,193 --> 00:26:30,806
So, they give away
270 million games
582
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:34,723
to every American,
or we put a surcharge tax
583
00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,638
of a million dollars a Game Boy
584
00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:38,771
and put them out of business
in a day.
585
00:26:38,814 --> 00:26:43,079
The people voted. We have
to give 'em what we promised.
586
00:26:45,952 --> 00:26:49,259
Hey, Oliver.Mr. President.
587
00:26:49,303 --> 00:26:51,218
Sorry, Raff, but it sounds
really cool.
588
00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:53,350
You're right.
589
00:26:53,394 --> 00:26:55,962
Mr. President, maybe we should,
uh, hold off
590
00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:58,660
on the video game thing
until you get settled in...
591
00:26:58,704 --> 00:27:01,707
I'm settled in, Raff,
and I know what I want.
592
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:04,187
And you guys are gonna
get that done for me
593
00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:06,973
or I'll get otherpeople
to get it done for me.
594
00:27:07,016 --> 00:27:09,279
There won't be a shortage
of people who want to work
595
00:27:09,323 --> 00:27:12,108
for the new president
of the United States.
596
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:16,896
Now... where's
the White House kitchen?
597
00:27:16,939 --> 00:27:20,247
I want a triple-scoop
chocolate chip mint,
598
00:27:20,290 --> 00:27:23,250
vanilla and coffee ice cream
sundae with whipped cream,
599
00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:25,687
chocolate sauce and sprinkles!
600
00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:40,006
I want to make a new vlog
of me singing
601
00:27:40,049 --> 00:27:42,530
and all these dancers around me
dressed like soldiers.
602
00:27:42,573 --> 00:27:45,011
Mm-hmm. I'm not sure if vlogging
is the best way to communicate.
603
00:27:45,054 --> 00:27:46,273
Of course it is.
604
00:27:46,316 --> 00:27:48,536
I want to sing
about world peace.
605
00:27:48,579 --> 00:27:50,059
The lyrics should
be something like,
606
00:27:50,103 --> 00:27:52,192
"Either you're with peace,
607
00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,237
or you're not,"
608
00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:56,587
and if they're not, we start
to kill off all the dancers.
609
00:27:56,631 --> 00:27:57,719
Um...
610
00:27:57,763 --> 00:27:58,938
I mean, not for real, obviously.
611
00:27:58,981 --> 00:28:01,027
But in the video,
all bloody and stuff.
612
00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:02,028
It'll be cool.
613
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:07,163
Dog selection today,
Mr. President.
614
00:28:07,207 --> 00:28:08,425
Finally!
615
00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:11,733
Hi. Hello!
Oh, yes, you are so sweet.
616
00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:13,909
Hey, come here, come here.
617
00:28:13,953 --> 00:28:15,694
Okay, no. No.
618
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,478
No. Maybe.
619
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,088
No.
620
00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:20,960
Maybe. No.
621
00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:23,092
This one!
This guy right here!
622
00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:24,224
No, no, no, this one.
623
00:28:24,267 --> 00:28:27,836
He's perfect.
My new Homer.
624
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,142
It's a female dog, sir.
625
00:28:29,185 --> 00:28:30,665
What? Ew!
626
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,232
What were you thinking?
627
00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:33,712
I thought, um... Thought what?
628
00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:35,017
I want a new Homer!
629
00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:37,106
Does Homer sound like
a girl's name to you?
630
00:28:37,150 --> 00:28:38,847
Well, there's other
dogs here, sir.
631
00:28:38,891 --> 00:28:40,631
Get rid of 'em.
I don't want 'em.
632
00:28:40,675 --> 00:28:42,764
Um, sir? These dogs were
selected from the pound.
633
00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:45,288
I don't really care.
I don't want them.
634
00:28:45,332 --> 00:28:48,422
Okay. It is, however,
time for your physical.
635
00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:50,424
Physical? No way.
636
00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,165
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. President,
but Congress requires
637
00:28:52,208 --> 00:28:54,776
that the president
get a yearly physical.
638
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:55,864
Well, then fire Congress.
639
00:28:55,908 --> 00:28:57,953
We can't quite do that.
640
00:28:57,997 --> 00:28:59,128
Well, I'm not gonna
see any doctor.
641
00:28:59,172 --> 00:29:00,608
Especially an old man doctor.
642
00:29:00,651 --> 00:29:02,175
Okay, but it's scheduled
for today, so...
643
00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:03,785
Well, then un-schedule it.
644
00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:05,961
And never rescheduleit.
645
00:29:06,005 --> 00:29:09,269
That's the only real schedule
I can get behind.
646
00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:12,011
And make a new law:
no old doctors.
647
00:29:12,054 --> 00:29:13,316
Everyone okay with that?
648
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:18,582
I said, is everyone
okay with that?
649
00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:20,671
Yes, Mr. President.
650
00:29:20,715 --> 00:29:21,760
Yes, Mr. President.
651
00:29:24,197 --> 00:29:25,720
Think fast!
652
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,157
He got me. You lose, you lose.
653
00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:30,769
He got me. Think fast!
654
00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:34,250
Mr. Chairman, Mitch. Can...?
What is it, Raff?
655
00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:35,774
President wants
a military parade
656
00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:37,210
for his sister's
birthday next week.
657
00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:38,515
I am knee-deep in donkey
shit trying to organize it.
658
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:40,909
Right, uh, can I...?
What? Can I what?
659
00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:43,825
Can I get a minute with you?
660
00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:46,349
What is it, Raff? You've
been out of sorts for weeks.
661
00:29:46,393 --> 00:29:47,611
Um...
662
00:29:52,007 --> 00:29:53,269
Aren't you a little worried?
663
00:29:53,313 --> 00:29:54,618
I'm always worried.
664
00:29:54,662 --> 00:29:56,055
What's your problem?
665
00:29:56,098 --> 00:29:57,447
Get out of the way!
666
00:29:57,491 --> 00:29:59,754
Mr. President coming through!
Get out of my way!
667
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:03,149
Hey.Hey.
668
00:30:03,192 --> 00:30:04,324
Choo-choo!
669
00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:05,847
Move it!
670
00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:09,111
Hey, order pizza for everyone.
671
00:30:09,155 --> 00:30:11,897
Don't you think
the president seems like a...?
672
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:13,724
A kid.Right.
673
00:30:13,768 --> 00:30:16,249
Like a spoiled kid. Like a...
674
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:19,295
...like the most spoiled kid
675
00:30:19,339 --> 00:30:21,210
in the history of the world,
you know?
676
00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:23,299
He's commander-in-chief,
this is the greatest country
677
00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:24,648
in the world.
President says "Jump,"
678
00:30:24,692 --> 00:30:25,911
I say "How high?"
679
00:30:25,954 --> 00:30:27,216
I don't care that he's a kid.
680
00:30:27,260 --> 00:30:28,435
Approval rating's
through the roof,
681
00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:29,653
everybody loves
their video games.
682
00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:31,264
Strange time to be
talking treason,
683
00:30:31,307 --> 00:30:32,569
Hanks.
684
00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:33,570
Treason?
685
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:35,311
Treason. No, I-I'm not
686
00:30:35,355 --> 00:30:37,270
talking treason.
I'm, I'm not... Sure sounds like it.
687
00:30:37,313 --> 00:30:39,228
And I don't like it
and I won't have it.
688
00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:40,969
Understood?
689
00:30:41,013 --> 00:30:42,753
Understood.
690
00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:44,364
Good.
691
00:30:49,978 --> 00:30:51,066
Helen.
692
00:30:51,110 --> 00:30:53,155
Hey.
Helen.
693
00:30:53,199 --> 00:30:56,071
Oliver's not the president,
you are the real president.
694
00:30:56,115 --> 00:30:58,204
Don't you think it's time
you intervened?
695
00:30:58,247 --> 00:31:00,467
Intervene?
696
00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:03,513
Why would I do that?
697
00:31:03,557 --> 00:31:07,256
Raff, everything you said
would come true has.
698
00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:08,867
He connects with people.
699
00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:10,390
My child.
700
00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:12,000
He touches people.
701
00:31:12,044 --> 00:31:16,004
Intervening's the last thing
I'm gonna do.
702
00:31:24,447 --> 00:31:26,536
I say if it's bothering
you that much,
703
00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:27,798
you should just talk with him.
704
00:31:27,842 --> 00:31:29,539
Okay, it's just hard to know
705
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:32,020
what to say to an 11-year-old
who's also the president.
706
00:31:32,064 --> 00:31:33,848
Well, you've done
pretty good thus far.
707
00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,894
Yeah.
It was easier before.
708
00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,941
Listen, we're
mercenaries, right?
709
00:31:39,985 --> 00:31:41,943
I mean, that's what we are.
710
00:31:41,987 --> 00:31:43,771
Your big mistake was staying
711
00:31:43,814 --> 00:31:45,338
with him in the White House.
712
00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:46,817
You should have followed me.
713
00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:49,777
And I moved on and
business is booming.
714
00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:52,345
Didn't have to stick
around and have regrets,
715
00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:55,261
see how the sausage is made.
716
00:31:55,304 --> 00:31:56,958
It's just, no one seems
to be willing
717
00:31:57,002 --> 00:31:58,351
to confront him, you know?
718
00:31:58,394 --> 00:32:00,266
Even his parents seem cowed.
719
00:32:00,309 --> 00:32:02,007
Well, maybe they are cowed.
720
00:32:02,050 --> 00:32:03,965
Or maybe everyone's
okay with it.
721
00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:05,619
I mean, sure, he's
a little bit bratty,
722
00:32:05,662 --> 00:32:07,926
but so are a lot of
kids, it's a phase.
723
00:32:07,969 --> 00:32:09,275
Like your chamomile tea phase,
724
00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:10,929
it's gonna pass.
725
00:32:10,972 --> 00:32:12,843
Raff, you of all people knew
726
00:32:12,887 --> 00:32:14,193
what you were getting into
727
00:32:14,236 --> 00:32:16,325
when you decided to
run his campaign.
728
00:32:16,369 --> 00:32:18,937
Try and enjoy this moment
729
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:21,461
instead of worrying so much.
730
00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:23,115
You're the conquering hero.
731
00:32:23,158 --> 00:32:24,812
Right?
732
00:32:24,855 --> 00:32:27,728
One of the most famous
campaign managers in history.
733
00:32:27,771 --> 00:32:32,385
The man who got Oliver
Foley elected president.
734
00:32:36,476 --> 00:32:37,912
Thanks.
735
00:32:41,394 --> 00:32:43,135
I tried to do the right thing...
736
00:32:43,178 --> 00:32:45,093
for once.
737
00:32:45,137 --> 00:32:48,096
Mr. Hanks.
738
00:32:48,140 --> 00:32:50,446
We're losing him.
Get the crash cart in here.
739
00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:07,768
You distracted me, Raff.
740
00:33:07,811 --> 00:33:09,030
Oh, sorry.
741
00:33:09,074 --> 00:33:10,336
It's okay.
742
00:33:10,379 --> 00:33:12,077
I never get a hole-in-one.
743
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,122
And it sucks.
744
00:33:15,776 --> 00:33:16,995
Want to play?
745
00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:18,735
Could use the company.
My sister has homework
746
00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:21,129
and the Secretary
of Homeland Security
747
00:33:21,173 --> 00:33:23,001
sucks at golf.
748
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,743
Um, sure, thank you.
749
00:33:31,618 --> 00:33:33,359
I think Nixon put
in the golf thing.
750
00:33:33,402 --> 00:33:35,404
But it's so
boring, putting.Mm-hmm.
751
00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:37,972
Who wants to just putt?
752
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,061
I want windmills
and pirate ships.
753
00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:41,367
Those little pencils
to keep track.
754
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:42,890
Right.
755
00:33:49,331 --> 00:33:51,116
Can I speak candidly? I don't know.
756
00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:52,421
Can you?
757
00:33:55,598 --> 00:33:58,123
Um, I'm a little worried.
758
00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,690
So am I, actually.
759
00:34:00,734 --> 00:34:02,779
What do you mean?
760
00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:07,784
I mean...
761
00:34:07,828 --> 00:34:09,830
this treason thing's
pretty serious.
762
00:34:12,093 --> 00:34:15,009
You like the lighting?
I think it's cool.
763
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:17,011
I'm not being
treasonous, Oliver.
764
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,447
I'm just worried
about a few things.
765
00:34:18,491 --> 00:34:20,058
There is a difference.
766
00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:22,190
Hit your ball, Raff.Oliver.
767
00:34:22,234 --> 00:34:23,539
Putt.
768
00:34:34,768 --> 00:34:37,162
Not bad.
769
00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:38,859
My turn.
770
00:34:41,905 --> 00:34:43,211
Thing is, Raff...
771
00:34:43,255 --> 00:34:45,170
you were
my first real supporter.
772
00:34:45,213 --> 00:34:48,608
Hurts me that you're
not fully backing me.
773
00:34:51,524 --> 00:34:53,830
Fuck! I never get it in
774
00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,484
on the first try!
775
00:34:55,528 --> 00:34:57,660
Oliver, I do back you.
776
00:34:57,704 --> 00:34:59,706
I just think that the... No.
777
00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,273
You don't get to think.
778
00:35:01,316 --> 00:35:04,363
You just back me.
You back me unconditionally.
779
00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:06,713
Whatever happened to surrounding
yourself with the greatest minds
780
00:35:06,756 --> 00:35:08,758
so that you could get
the most informed opinions?
781
00:35:08,802 --> 00:35:10,325
That was your idea.
782
00:35:10,369 --> 00:35:12,414
Your line in that commercial
about my dying dog.
783
00:35:14,329 --> 00:35:15,852
My dog's dying, Raff.
784
00:35:15,896 --> 00:35:17,289
He's dying.
785
00:35:17,332 --> 00:35:18,768
I'm such a good actor.
786
00:35:18,812 --> 00:35:21,206
I just pretended
Homer was dying.
787
00:35:21,249 --> 00:35:23,469
Just to get you back on my team.
788
00:35:23,512 --> 00:35:25,645
No!
789
00:35:25,688 --> 00:35:27,168
I want a hole-in-one!
790
00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:33,479
There! Hole-in-one!
I win!
791
00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:36,177
That's not the way it works.
792
00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:38,484
It isn't?
793
00:35:38,527 --> 00:35:39,833
No.
794
00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:41,661
I said it was a hole-in-one.
795
00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:43,053
And I'm president.
796
00:35:43,097 --> 00:35:45,752
Do you support me
or are you treasonous?
797
00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:56,197
I'm not treasonous, Oliver.
798
00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,939
Mr. President.
799
00:35:58,982 --> 00:36:02,377
"I'm not treasonous,
Mr. President."
800
00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:07,904
I'm not treasonous,
Mr. President.
801
00:36:07,948 --> 00:36:09,602
Good.
802
00:36:09,645 --> 00:36:12,126
So, it was a hole-in-one, right?
803
00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:17,740
No.
804
00:36:17,784 --> 00:36:19,829
No, it wasn't.
805
00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:25,661
It was not a hole-in-one,
Oliver.
806
00:36:32,277 --> 00:36:33,930
Gun!
807
00:36:33,974 --> 00:36:35,236
There's a gun! Shoot him.
808
00:36:41,068 --> 00:36:43,026
REPORTER What do you
think about Raff Hanks?
809
00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:46,552
Oh, I think he's
the worst scum of the earth.
810
00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:49,294
How dare he try and attack
that sweet little boy?
811
00:36:49,337 --> 00:36:51,818
The president dodged a bullet.
Literally.
812
00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:53,298
Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
813
00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:54,603
He got what he deserved.
Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
814
00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:55,561
Raff Hanks... Raff Hanks...
815
00:36:55,604 --> 00:36:56,431
Raff Hanks got... got...
816
00:36:56,475 --> 00:36:57,867
...got what he deserved.
817
00:36:57,911 --> 00:37:00,305
Glad to see you awake,
Mr. Hanks.
818
00:37:00,348 --> 00:37:01,958
Was afraid we lost you there.
819
00:37:02,002 --> 00:37:04,787
What? You need an operation
820
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:06,920
on a ruptured spleen
and a punctured lung.
821
00:37:06,963 --> 00:37:10,010
The president has asked for
his very own doctor to help you.
822
00:37:10,053 --> 00:37:11,968
You're not the doctor?
823
00:37:12,012 --> 00:37:14,319
The law does not permit me
to be a doctor.
824
00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:16,103
The doctor will be
with you shortly.
825
00:37:20,629 --> 00:37:22,544
All right.
826
00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,851
Let's get this done quick,
mister.
827
00:37:24,894 --> 00:37:26,505
No.
828
00:37:28,811 --> 00:37:30,117
No.
829
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,859
I want to finish my video games.
830
00:37:32,902 --> 00:37:34,730
No! No!
831
00:37:40,997 --> 00:37:43,391
Society is a fragile ecosystem.
832
00:37:43,435 --> 00:37:47,177
Razzle and dazzle people
with the right lies
833
00:37:47,221 --> 00:37:49,571
and eventually they'll go blind
to the madness
834
00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:51,573
right in front of their faces.
835
00:37:51,617 --> 00:37:55,403
Raff Hanks made a living
selling the American dream.
836
00:37:55,447 --> 00:37:59,277
But, once sold,
he created a true nightmare
837
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,322
that he couldn't buy back.
838
00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:04,369
Especially not here...
839
00:38:04,412 --> 00:38:06,371
in The Twilight Zone.
840
00:38:06,414 --> 00:38:08,329
Captioning sponsored by CBS
841
00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:10,418
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
59895
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