Original subtitles

[Jessica] Tonight, on Murder, She Wrote.

NYPD lets uptown burglar slip through their fingers.

That coin is more than just a lucky dollar.

Jessica can be way off a lot of the time.

I won’t put up anymore with any of his fooling around.

You’ve come a long way in ten years.

Tomorrow, unless I do something drastic, he’s gone.

You recognized his talent.

I want that contract signed or we’re both in the kind of trouble

that you don’t want to know about.

He’s into some pretty creepy people.

I don’t need that kind of trouble.

Just get me the name of the person

that’s trying to horn in.

[grunts]

[sirens wailing]

[panting]

[music playing]

[people chattering]

Antoinette's On Fifth, Phoebe speaking.

No. I’m sorry, Jimmy’s all booked up at the moment.

Thank you. Antoinette's On Fifth, Phoebe speaking.

Jimmy? Uh, no, he’s not available.

I read the piece about you in People Magazine

last week, Jimmy.

My goodness, you’ve come a long way in ten years.

[chuckles] Maybe you’ve forgotten

about our first session together?

You’d just come off the train from Cabot Cove.

Oh, I remember.

[chuckles] I was going to this big shindig

and my hair was a disaster.

Yeah. And I was scared to death.

[chuckles] Always figured you’d run straight out

to Elizabeth Arden and have them fix my mistakes.

No way. I mean, you were

a little rough around the edges in those days,

but, oh, Antoinette must be so proud of you.

[speaking French]

Oh, looks lovely. And done in record time, I might add.

Well, see, I’ve got this chance to do a demonstration

on the Nancy Rayburn television show

and I gotta be on in ten minutes. So I must say goodbye.

Love you, monkey.

Hey, tell her.

-No, you tell her. -[Jimmy] No, you tell her.

Well, Diane?

-Oh! You mean, you and Jimmy? -Yeah.

-Since last night. -[chuckles] Oh, heavens!

-Congratulations. -Thanks.

Jessica, pardon the intrusion,

but I need the guest list from the dinner party last night.

Oh, right, Sam. I have it right with me.

How is Agnes doing?

Ah, she’s still in intensive care,

but the Doc says she’ll recover without permanent damage.

Oh, thank goodness for that.

[Diane] We’re finished here, Mrs. Fletcher.

Thank you.

Agnes was just part of a friendly get-together

for the new board members at the museum.

Well, I’ll talk to the others, for what good it’ll do.

We found the weapon, by the way.

Ms. Frazier identified it as one of her own kitchen knives.

You know, Agnes left early.

She complained of a headache.

Well, it was her bad luck to get home before she was supposed to.

Sam, are you sure this is the same thief

as the uptown burglar?

I’d bet on it.

Seven burglaries in as many weeks.

I mean, he always has a key.

All those high-security buildings and the doormen never see him.

He lets himself into an empty apartment, bam!

Somebody loses a family heirloom

and he walks out like nothing happened.

Until last night.

Well, the chief wants a report.

-I’ll talk to you later. -Fine.

[woman] Would you like to try some conditioner?

[music playing]

Hello, Kathy.

Jessica! I heard about poor Agnes Frazier.

Well, the good news is,

the doctors say she’s going to be all right.

Oh, that is good news.

I’ll have the minutes from last night’s meeting

typed and faxed to you and the rest of the board by tomorrow.

-Oh, thank you very much. -No problem.

[Steve] Psst, Jessica.

Oh, good.

-How’s it going, Steve? -[sighs] Making notes.

[chuckles] Just like you said.

It doesn’t get much more real than this.

Well, it’s starting to show.

I mean, I read your latest revisions and the details

that you’re adding have made a vast improvement.

-Really? -Yes.

I really like the way you’re building your characters.

Particularly, the detective.

And your scenes are really capturing the flavor of this place.

[clears throat] You know, if you’re not careful,

you might be looking at a very successful first novel.

Oh, well, listen, speaking of detectives, I have--

Steve-o, those bins

get emptied on the hour, every hour, kiddo.

Right away, Phoebe.

[Nancy] Jimmy, I have the good, good fortune

to have you doing my hair this afternoon.

You always come up with something fresh,

just as you’ve done with Tricia. Is that your Jimmy look?

[chuckles] Well, actually, no. No, it’s not my look.

It’s Tricia’s.

You see, every woman has her own distinctive beauty.

And it’s just my job to bring it out.

And there you have it,

from the lips of Manhattan’s hottest, most talented hairstylist,

Jimmy Neiman of Antoinette's On Fifth.

Tomorrow, everyone’s favorite romance novelist,

Donnie Carstairs.

[bell ringing] [people chattering]

-Jimmy! -Mr. Stafford.

[chuckles] I didn’t expect to see you here.

Oh, really? Who do you think arranged

this appearance for you?

Hey, Jimmy, talk to me.

You’ve been sitting on our contract for three weeks now.

[stutters] Mr. Stafford, I don’t know how to say this,

but I’m not sure that I want to go through with our deal.

I’ve been thinking that...

Toni’s always been really terrific to me and--

Have you been waltzing me around for three months?

-No, but... -My partners and I have committed

over a million dollars on your name alone.

Got a Park Avenue lease.

We’ve got construction contracts.

-We got licensing deals. -Look, Mr. Stafford--

You listen to me, damn it!

Now, you have got to go to Antoinette

and you tell her that it’s over.

You say, "Toni, bye-bye."

[scoffs]

And the rest is gonna be easy.

Come on, this is Jimmy’s Hair Works.

It’s a chance for you to have your own place.

Next year at this time, we’re gonna have a chain

of Jimmy’s strung from one end of this country to the other.

[grunts]

You’ve got 24 hours.

I want that contract signed

or we’re both in the kind of trouble that you don’t want to know about.

I’d better get back to work.

I must’ve screwed up Toni’s whole morning.

[cellphone ringing]

-Stafford. -[Vincent] You have the money?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, relax. Vincent.

[Vincent] Have you got the money?

Look, I will have my side in Escrow by the end of the week.

-All of it? -All $800,000 of it.

Yes. I promise.

You better.

Nancy, go ahead and tell me if it’s none of my business

but as a friend, I think this thing

you have going on with Ralph Stafford...

It is none of your business, Madelyn.

Just be careful, Nancy, huh?

I have to tell you, I’ve heard nothing but--

you handle the show. I’ll take care of me. Okay?

[Stafford] You’re not listening to me.

[Antoinette] For the record, yes, I’ve heard the rumors

that Jimmy Neiman is jumping ship, and no,

there is no substance to them.

No, no, no. None whatever.

And you can take that to the bank.

[exclaims] You brought the books.

[Jessica] As many as I could carry.

[laughs] Oh! I thank you. The shul thanks you.

Rabbi Gold... rabbi Goldberg will be ga-ga.

He is a major fan of yours.

Well, now listen, now, Hartley Publishing donated the books, Toni.

All I did was to sign them.

If they help the school raffle, great.

Phoebe seems to be a little unglued.

Jimmy ducking appointments

to do Nancy Rayburn’s show, I suppose.

[sighs] What am I going to do, Jess?

There’s a Hollywood star who flies in every six weeks

just so Jimmy can give her a cut.

One of our nine Republican candidates for president

pays him $600 plus airfare

to fly to Washington every two weeks.

The kid’s arrived. Today he’s my franchise.

Tomorrow, unless I do something drastic, he’s gone.

Yeah, but you seem so sure that he’s leaving you.

-It’s a rumor mill out there. -[thudding]

By the way, Steve seems to be doing okay.

Your getting behind him, means he has promise, huh?

Well, good enough for a sizable advance from my publisher.

I mean, I took Steve on as a favor to Ted Hartley,

but he’s got real talent

and the beginnings of a very good murder mystery.

[chuckling] His big mistake was to use a background

he had absolutely no experience in.

[both laugh]

-Listen, I’ll be on my way. -Oh.

Bye-bye. Thank you, Jess.

You bet.

Good afternoon, Phoebe.

I have an appointment to see Andre at 2:00.

Oh, yes. He’s waiting for you.

-Oh, great. Thank you. -Sure.

Break time, Steve-o. Cover the phones.

Oh, okay. No problem.

Steve, I need another bottle of divine pink over here.

[phone ringing]

Thanks.

[clearing throat]

Antoinette's On Fifth.

Yes, Ms. Harrison.

Your appointment’s confirmed. Thank you for calling.

Ms. Rayburn, super show this morning.

Yes, it was, Stan. Is Jimmy ready for me?

It’s Steve. He’s ready and waiting.

Wonderful, Stan.

If I don’t get a wash and set for tonight’s opening,

I’m gonna die.

-Nancy. Hi. -Kathy.

Darling. Oh, nice.

-Oh, are you sure? -Yes.

I thought I’d give Ralph a little surprise.

-Oh, he’s gonna love it. -Oh, I hope so.

So, how’re things in that department?

Oh, so much better. We’ve had several real sit-downs

-about... you know. -Mmm.

And, well, he’s on notice that

I won’t put up anymore with any of his fooling around.

Well, that’s the hellraiser I knew in school.

Oh.

Oh, listen, I still have your book.

I’ll bring it by sometime this week, okay?

-All right. Bye, darling. -Bye.

Mrs. Stafford, nice to see you.

Your husband’s waiting. This way.

Thank you very much.

-Hello, sweetheart. -Ralph, darling.

And Mrs. Stafford, when you see Mrs. Frazier,

please tell her I wish her a very speedy recovery.

I will, Billy, thank you.

Thank you.

-Well? -Well, what?

Don’t you notice something just a wee bit different?

Oh, the earrings. They’re new?

No, Ralph. You gave these to me for Christmas.

Good afternoon, Cafe Metropole.

Yes, yes, I heard about Mrs. Frazier.

It’s absolutely tragic about her being knifed by that thief.

Look, I didn’t have a choice, damn it.

She came at me with that knife.

We’re both lucky there wasn’t enough light

for her to see my face.

Really?

Sounds promising.

Tell me more.

[Kathy] It’s not just that it’s priceless.

Ralph, you’re sure this is just being used as collateral?

I mean, this was the first coin

ever put into my great-great-grandfather’s cash register.

And that little feed and grain store blossomed.

-I’ll get back to you. -Into the Fairlong supermarket chain.

Honey, your family paved the way for entrepreneurs like me.

And it’ll be that way with Jimmy, too. I know it.

But just promise me that this’ll be safe.

-I would just die... -Relax.

I’m just gonna use this to secure the loan, that’s all.

And then we’re gonna fire Jimmy’s Hair Works

off the launch pad.

It’ll be payback in six months, Max.

I always knew you’d hit the big one, darling.

Let’s eat, huh? I want to get this to the bank.

I’m not all that comfortable carrying

a half a million dollars around in my pocket.

If we’re feeling adventurous today,

we have a superb fresh trout sauteed with cilantro capers

and shiitake mushrooms.

[Kathy] Hmm.

Sam, I am so glad that I caught you in.

You know, after I got my hair done this morning,

it occurred to me that there may be a common denominator

between the victims and this uptown burglar.

You mean, like a club of some kind? A theater group maybe?

Somebody finds out they’re out on the town,

the coast is clear and the thief moves in.

Exactly. I mean, it struck me

that Agnes Frazier, for instance,

is a client of Antoinette on Fifth.

And so is Henrietta Gribble.

Victim number three.

And Susan Davenport.

-Number four. -Well, you might be on to something.

I mean, while they’re being worked on,

their handbags are unattended.

Somebody could be making a wax impression of their house keys.

Right, and if ever there was a place where people

openly discuss their upcoming social engagements,

where and when they’re going, it’s in a beauty salon.

I owe you, Jessica. I’ll get right into it.

Ms. Frazier’s out of intensive care.

I’m going over there to get her statement.

Come on, I’ll drop you where you’re going.

Thanks.

-Thank you, Michael. -Thank you.

[whistling]

[Stafford] Allie, this is gorgeous.

How did you get this done so quickly?

Never mind.

Just remember, anybody that’s really into old silver

is gonna spot the phony in a second,

and you never heard of Allie Simpson.

Nice working with you.

-Good night. -Good night.

Closing time, Steve-o. Empty out the towel bins

and straighten all the chairs, okay?

Okay, Phoebe.

Excuse me? Is there anything you need before I leave?

No, thanks, Steve.

I’ll lock up. Wait.

Nancy Rayburn left her glasses behind.

Be an angel and drop them by her place sometime tonight?

Her address is on Phoebe’s registry.

Sure. No problem.

Thanks.

[sighs]

Okay, what’s up?

-I don’t want to say... -Come on,

-It’s about me and Toni, isn’t it? -Partly.

-Have you told her? -No, I haven’t told her yet.

And please, please don’t give me the lecture about how much I owe her, okay?

I’m scared for you.

It’s Ralph Stafford. I don’t like him.

In my job, a girl gets to know her clients’ private business.

Kathy Stafford’s gotta be a babe in the woods

when it comes to all the other women in Ralph’s life.

So? So when I’m doing his nails, he talks on the phone a lot,

and it seems like he’s into some pretty creepy people.

Hey, drop it, okay?

Now, come on, let’s grab some dinner.

Jimmy, he hits on me.

Can I blame him? No.

[car lock beeps]

That’s quite a car, Phoebe.

Mr. Stafford, you sure know how to scare a girl.

-What are you doing here? -It’s Ralph.

You know, I think you might be able

to help me out of a small problem.

I don’t see how.

I understand that you and Jimmy were quite an item once.

Yeah, in the old neighborhood. We went out a couple times.

I don’t see how that’s any of your business.

Maybe, maybe not.

You see, Jimmy has made a very serious business commitment

to me and to my investors

and, all of a sudden, he seems to have gotten cold feet.

Damn! Then the rumors are true.

You’re taking Jimmy away from Toni

and setting him up at his own place.

If you think I can change his mind, you’re mistaken.

Jimmy and I are history.

I just want you to keep your ears open for me, that’s all.

Just give me the name of the person that’s trying to horn in.

I’ll take care of the rest.

I’ve heard about you and your investors.

I don’t need that kind of trouble.

Phoebe, trust me.

This is a respectable business syndicate.

What’s in it for me, Ralph?

Well, Jimmy’s Hair Works is going to need a manager.

Someone with looks and charm.

It would have to be a year’s contract, in writing,

twice what Toni pays me.

I think we can manage that.

I can’t help you with Jimmy, but there’s someone else.

Go on.

[Nancy] I can’t believe

this could be worth half a million dollars, lover.

Well, let me put it this way.

If I get hit by the Madison Avenue bus

on the way home,

you’re way ahead of the game.

Oh, do me a favor. Stay off Madison Avenue.

You’re not forgetting the most important part, are you?

Just as I promised,

once we get Jimmy’s Hair Works up and running,

Kathy is served with divorce papers.

It’s not all the money I have in the world,

but it comes close.

Well, this makes you a partner in Jimmy’s Hair Works.

Congratulations.

Finally, some financial security.

This coin is your security.

And the first thing tomorrow morning,

I want you to put that in a safe deposit box.

Because this is not the kind of thing

you want lying around.

Yeah, me, too. But, I have to be at the Broadhurst

in an hour for that opening.

Well, thank you for a won--

[knock on door]

Ms. Rayburn?

Did you know your door was open?

Ms. Rayburn?

I’ve got the glasses you left at Antoinette’s.

[grunts]

Sam, forgive me for barging in,

but I was the unhappy recipient

of Steve Burke’s one telephone call

and I sort of feel responsible for this

terrible predicament that he’s in.

Well, he says that you suggested he go to work at Antoinette’s.

Just how well do you know this Mr. Burke?

Well, well enough to know that he’s a promising writer.

He’s not a second-story man. Oh, Steve, you look terrible.

That’s what a rabbit punch and a night in the slammer does for you.

This whole thing is crazy.

All I remember is standing in Ms. Rayburn’s apartment and, wham!

The next thing I know I was being handcuffed.

[Sam] Robbery detail found this on the floor

of Ms. Rayburn’s apartment.

Ms. Rayburn says she never saw it before.

Yours, Mr. Burke?

-No. -Sam.

What did Ms. Rayburn say was taken?

Well, the usual priceless portables.

Chinese ivories, cloisonne and that’s it.

Look, Nancy Rayburn told everybody at Antoinette’s

that she was going to a Broadway opening.

Mr. Burke here decided to go in and--

Sam, she announced it on TV.

Half the people in Manhattan knew

that she was not gonna be home last night.

All right, Jessica, all right.

But I can see the headline right now.

"NYPD lets uptown burglar slip through their fingers."

But I’m gonna let Mr. Burke go based on your word

that he is an honest and upstanding citizen.

You can blame me. Thanks, Sam.

Come on. Thanks.

[sighs]

I just heard about it on the news. Talk to me.

Ralph.

Darling, the coin, I didn’t get a chance

to put it in my safety deposit box.

They took it?

Darling, don’t worry. I didn’t report it stolen.

It would’ve made the papers, Kathy would read it and put two and two together.

Surely you had it insured.

[sighs] Of course I did.

Then you can claim you lost it

or that someone stole it, whatever.

In any case, sweetie, business is business

and I’m gonna need some collateral

or I’ll have to ask you for my $400,000 back.

[laughs]

That’s why I love you, babe.

You’re always thinking of the bottom line.

I’ll have it for you within 24 hours, I promise.

Goodbye.

So, Di, let’s talk about your boyfriend.

He’s my fiancee, Mr. Stafford.

Oh, really? Since when?

Oh, never mind.

Look, Jimmy has been blowing hot and cold to me

on this contract and I need to have it signed by tonight,

and I just know

you have a way to help him see the light.

I don’t stick my nose in Jimmy’s business, Mr. Stafford.

[both chuckle]

Well, let me tell you why I think you will.

[Billy] So you’re telling me it’s a fake?

Allie said what?

Yeah, I think I know exactly what the story is.

Something big just fell into our lap.

Too good to pass up, huh? A chain of salons.

The only chain you’re gonna know from

is the one that’ll wind up around your neck.

And guess who’ll be on the other end of it.

-Come on, Toni. -Oh, Jimmy.

Don’t you know the kind of would-be partners

that Ralph Stafford surrounds himself with?

He tried to buy in here once, but I knew better.

I mean, Jimmy, didn’t you learn anything in the old neighborhood?

I’m out of the old neighborhood.

And besides, compared to those guys, Mr. Stafford’s got class.

Any class Ralph’s got has Kathy Stafford’s

bank account number written all over it!

You’ve made up your mind.

Yeah.

I’m sorry.

This is the most difficult thing that I’ve ever had to do.

I--

remembering what we had together in the beginning...

Get out. Finish the week.

Take your things and get out.

I didn’t mean it, Jimmy.

I will always want the best for you.

And wipe your mouth.

Hello, Billy.

All right. I’ve got ten minutes.

What is this hush-hush deal that you’re trying to sell me on?

This’ll take less than ten minutes.

Seems we have a mutual friend in Allie Simpson.

I’m sorry, the name doesn’t ring a bell.

Then let me ring it for you.

Allie gave my partner the scoop on your wife’s silver dollar

and the worthless copy he had made out for you,

the one that ended up in Nancy Rayburn’s condo.

What are you smoking?

We want $50,000 in cash or your wife and Nancy Rayburn

are both gonna know the whole nine yards.

I’m afraid you’re not thinking clearly, my friend.

You just told me that you and your partner

broke into Nancy Rayburn’s condo last night.

That makes you the uptown burglar.

Which means you two go down for robbery and assault.

[scoffs] And you’ll be going down with us.

No, Billy boy, I won’t.

You show me the law that says

that I can’t make a copy of something

that my wife already owns.

You’re a piker, Billy.

First thing tomorrow, I’ll be talking to the police.

[Madelyn] Let me tell you, I’d have given anything

not to have been there and heard all that, Nancy.

If it’s any consolation to you,

-you’re not the first woman who... -No.

No, you’d be less of a friend, if you hadn’t, honestly.

It’s a little damage control. It’ll be fixed.

Nancy, there’s something else. More difficult, I’m afraid.

Well, that’s hard to imagine. Go on.

The ratings haven’t improved, the station’s pulled the plug.

We’re off the air the end of this month.

[bell ringing]

Nancy, I have to talk to you.

Can it wait, Kathy? You know I’m giving Jimmy a send-off party tonight

-and I’ve got just a million things-- -No, it can’t wait.

Um, we have to have something out right here and now.

Kathy, for heaven’s sake, pull yourself together.

Look, there’s a nice bar around the corner.

We’ll have a drink, we’ll talk.

Okay.

[doorbell rings]

[door opens] [man] Welcome, Mr. Stafford.

Thanks.

[people chattering]

Hmm, hello, sweetheart.

[all laughing]

Well, listen, I can’t say that I won’t miss you at Toni’s, Jimmy.

But I do wish you the very best of luck.

It’s a very brave move you’re making.

Thank you. But Diane’s the one with the courage.

[sighs] Yeah, if that means keeping everything crossed.

I’m still not sure that I’m doing the right thing.

Mrs. Fletcher, Diane, Jimmy-boy!

Hey, why the long face?

Come on. This is your night. Come on.

You haven’t forgotten that I do need your signature

-on that contract tonight? -Huh?

Oh, yeah, sure. Later, right?

Uh, come on.

I know that Toni and you go way back.

No hard feelings, I hope?

Well, I wouldn’t be honest

if I didn’t say that I had some regrets, Mr. Stafford.

Sorry I’m late, darling.

Kath.

Well, if it isn’t too much trouble, would you try to mingle, hmm?

And maybe you could take that frown off your face.

This isn’t a funeral. [whispers] Excuse me.

Hmm.

Toni, you’re a good sport for showing up.

I’d like to think that it’s on account of the memories.

It’s been ten years, Ralph.

They’re more like bad dreams.

Didn’t I tell you that some day that stubborn streak of yours

was gonna cost you dearly?

We could’ve been partners.

Yeah, Ralph, my decision to turn you down

seems more brilliant every time I see you.

Well, it’s a shame what those ten years have done to you.

I could be making the same offer to you all over again.

Except that I find that I like younger

and prettier faces around me these days.

I’ll get you for that, Ralph.

Hmm.

Hi, Jess.

Ah, come on, Toni, it’s not the end of the world.

-Yeah, it is, kind of. -Hmm.

How about in my next incarnation,

I open a little two-chair dobby down from you on 62nd street?

Well, I’ll be your first client.

-Yeah? -[chuckles] Yes!

Antoinette. Jessica.

I’m sorry I’m late. I had to borrow a suit from my brother-in-law.

Still looking handsome.

What happened to my handbag?

Well, I could’ve sworn it was right here.

I thought I saw it there, too.

Wait, isn’t that your bag on the end of the bar there?

Along with everything else, I’m losing my memory, too.

[both laughing]

[waiter] Excuse me, Mr. Stafford.

[doorbell rings]

Hello, Mrs. Fletcher.

Steve. Are you leaving?

Yes, I am. Mmm-hmm.

You know, I think I’m gonna hang in for a while.

Oh, I want to hear how his book’s coming.

I hope getting karate-chopped didn’t disconnect any circuits, Steve-o.

[chuckles] None that I’ve noticed.

-Good night, Steve. -Good night, Mrs. Fletcher.

Good night, Phoebe.

[thunder cracking]

[Sam] Nancy Rayburn retired at 11:00

with the party going full blast.

The Caterer says Mr. Stafford left the party

after 1:00 in the morning.

Now, that’s an odd time to be going to a hair salon,

don’t you think, miss Antoinette?

It’s Ms. Fishman and I can’t think why on earth he was here.

I don’t know what time he came or how he got in.

Like I said, I got here this morning.

I discovered I’d misplaced my keys and then Steve let us in.

And there was Mr. Stafford’s body, right in Jimmy’s chair.

Those scissors belong to me, lieutenant.

They’re Regals from England.

I’m the only operator in here that uses them.

Then we’d expect to find your prints on them.

I doubt that. I always wipe them clean last thing at night.

You know, it certainly doesn’t look

like a robbery-homicide, Sam.

No, not with three Gs left in his pocket.

You see, it was this note addressed to him and the contract

that evidently got him over there.

The caterer says he found it on the hall table

and gave it to Stafford.

Jimmy Neiman says he didn’t write it.

It looks more like a 5-year-old’s scribbling, anyway.

Or someone could have disguised their handwriting.

This lucky dollar didn’t do him much good.

[chuckles] Oh, Sam, that coin is not exactly a lucky dollar.

Oh, my God.

Ralph never made it to the bank after all.

Come again, Ms. Stafford?

That’s an 1804 silver dollar.

Ralph was going to pledge it for a bank loan.

An 1804?

My goodness, there are only three or four left in existence.

It’s been in my family for generations.

It’s worth an incredible amount of money.

Well, it’ll be safe with us. Why don’t you go home

and get some rest and we’ll talk later?

Detective Harbinson’ll take you home.

-[sighs] Thank you. -Ma’am.

[sighs] You know, Sam, those two boxes,

now there has to be some connection.

Between the uptown burglar and this murder.

Yeah. I hear you. But what?

I mean, where do you start?

Jessica, excuse me.

Look, there’s something wrong with this whole picture.

Clear your mind, Steve, what is it?

Darned if I can put my finger on it.

But something’s missing.

All right. Thank you all for your cooperation.

Ms. Fishman, your place will be off-limits

for the rest of the day.

[sighs]

Phoebe, tell the kids to take a holiday on me.

Okay. 10:00 sharp tomorrow.

Sure, Toni.

You’ve gotta level with me, Jimmy.

One way or another, the police are gonna find out

you went over to the salon last night.

Why should I tell them? [car honking]

Look, it’d only cause trouble.

Look, I left my shoes in my locker.

I grabbed them and I left.

Hey, hey!

You think that I killed him?

Why would I do a stupid thing like that?

For me, I guess. He must’ve told you.

Talk sense, Diane. Told me what?

He had someone check me out.

Unless I used my influence with you to sign the deal,

he was going to tell you something about me.

Something bad.

[scoffs] Okay, so, how’s that gonna change anything?

I was 16, Jimmy. It was way before I went to beauty school.

My old lady kicked me out.

It was the only way I could make a living.

I don’t wanna hear about when you were 16.

I like who you are now.

I love you, Jimmy.

Oh, I love you, too, you little monkey.

Sixteen was boring, anyway.

You want me to go on about the trouble I got in back then?

-No way. -No!

[Billy] Enjoy. Bon appetit.

[phone rings]

Cafe Metropole, Billy speaking.

[woman] Did you hear what happened to Mr. Stafford?

-Yes, I heard. -[woman] You happy now?

No, I’m not happy. Dead or alive,

Ralph Stafford’s little scams may still kill us.

-[woman] How? -It’s those coin boxes.

That’s what I’m talking about.

[Billy] No, I’m not happy. Dead or alive,

Ralph Stafford’s little scams may still kill us.

It’s those coin boxes.

That’s what I’m talking about.

[woman] Billy, honey, calm down for a damn minute.

No one knows our connection except Allie

and you know he’s cool.

We hit the super lotto, Jessica.

You really tagged it. All those calls from Antoinette’s

to the Metropole, while Billy Blake was on duty.

[sighs] Except we still don’t know who placed the calls,

or from which extension at the salon they came from.

[sighs] And for the life of me,

I cannot place that girl’s voice.

[Sam] Hey, we’ll pick up Billy Blake and hope he tells us

before he lawyers up.

[groans]

-What is it? -I don’t know.

This whole case has given me a pain in the neck.

She had no way of knowing.

Who? What?

Sam, I think I know who Billy Blake’s girlfriend is.

[beeping]

Hi, lieutenant. You boys left quite a mess.

[phone rings] Oh, I got it.

Antoinette's On Fifth, Phoebe speaking.

No, Toni’s not back yet. Yes, I’ll have her give you a call.

Thank you. Bye.

You hoping it was Billy, miss Campbell?

Billy? I don’t know any Billy.

Do you know any Billy, Diane?

Oh, as half of the uptown burglary team,

I’m pretty darn sure you do.

[laughs]

You’re putting me on, right?

[chuckles] At Nancy Rayburn’s party last night,

Ms. Fletcher says that you referred to the karate chop

that Steve got from the burglar.

Phoebe, I’m sorry, but I never told anyone here at the salon how I was hit.

You’re building a case on something as flimsy as that?

Well, that and a voice-print

of a very incriminating conversation you had with Billy Blake.

I’m pretty sure it’ll match your voice.

-Read her rights and book her. -[detective] Let’s go.

[phone rings]

Antoinette's On Fifth.

[man] Is lieutenant Kriley there?

It’s for you, lieutenant.

-What? -Where are you taking her?

Steve, am I crazy, or was Phoebe just arrested?

No, no, you’re not crazy.

[Sam] Wwell, if you’re that sure of it.

[man] Are you gonna be here soon?

Yeah, we’re coming in right now, yeah.

Take it easy. Right.

That was the lab report on the scissors that killed Stafford.

It appears that your prints are the only ones on it, Ms. Fishman.

Well...

well, I can explain that.

Well, I’d love to hear it.

If you’ll accompany me downtown.

-You’re not joking. -No, I’m not joking.

See, I’m a lot funnier when I’m joking.

I’ll joke on the way downtown.

[Antoinette] It was before I left for the party last night.

I was closing up shop

and as I was leaving, I saw myself in Jimmy’s mirror.

There was this strand of hair that wouldn’t behave.

So I picked up Jimmy’s scissors and I trimmed it.

You see, I was late. So I must’ve just put them down on the counter.

Why didn’t you mention this to me yesterday?

Or anybody else?

Well, I forgot.

Finding a dead man in your salon can do that to you.

Sam, it does kind of make upside-down sense.

I mean, if Toni had stabbed Mr. Stafford,

wouldn’t she have started alibi-ing right away?

Stafford was trying to steal her prime asset, Jimmy Neiman.

We have witnesses at the party to a hassle

that they had over this very issue.

She left the party early so she could be there

ready and waiting for him.

Would you believe I was home

nursing a very old bottle of scotch?

No, the doorman swears he never saw you get home.

That will definitely affect his next Christmas present.

Excuse me, ma’am. Let’s go.

I didn’t kill anybody, Jess.

I know you didn’t, Toni.

Okay.

Come on. Come on.

Excuse me, ma’am.

Do you wanna hear something interesting?

Well, only if it’ll change your mind about Toni.

No. Separate items.

Our uptown burglar copped a plea and fingered the fence.

A grifter by the name Allie Simpson.

This bird is singing his little heart out now.

Here’s the interesting part.

Oh, I thought I’d missed it.

It turns out that Simpson knew Stafford.

See, Stafford had borrowed the 1804 silver dollar from his wife

and had Simpson make a phony duplicate of it.

Now, later, get this,

Phoebe Campbell tries to pawn off the duplicate on Simpson.

Jessica, are you listening to me?

Sam, why do you color the boroughs red,

all except one that’s white?

Kind of like a mark of shame.

The borough with the biggest jump

in homicides for the month.

Sam, you have just put your finger on it.

What?

I think I know who stabbed Mr. Stafford.

And I must say, honestly, it makes me quite miserable.

I really appreciate you

giving me your valuable time like this, Ms. Rayburn.

[laughs] Oh, to hear Jessica,

pretty soon I’ll be breaking down your door

-to have you guest on my show. -[chuckles]

Hey, as much as I hate to say it,

Jessica can be way off a lot of the time.

Just how can I help you, Steve?

Well, the problem has to do with a clue

that turns up in my final chapter.

Now, in my version, the killer leaves something behind,

something the police don’t see.

I’m not sure how I can help you.

What is this clue? Where is it?

Oh, how about under the top stylist’s counter?

It’s something very personal, something incriminating.

Sorry, Steve, but honestly, I’m no judge of these things.

I was kind of thinking, there’s this guy,

a gofer maybe, who knows about it.

And he gets an idea

he can make some bucks off what he knows.

So, of course, he leaves whatever is there, there.

Fascinating, Steve, but I’m due in makeup.

I don’t have time to deal with your fiction right now.

-What? You don’t like it? -Goodbye, Steve.

Whatever you’re looking for, Kathy, Nancy,

you won’t find it there or anywhere.

It was a figment of Steve’s imagination.

[nervously] Jessica, what on earth are you doing here?

I dropped something quite valuable here yesterday morning...

If you’ll let us alone...

our cab’s outside and we’ve got about two seconds

-before we’re due at-- -No, Nancy.

Not with a good friend under arrest for murder

it appears that both of you had a hand in.

[scoffs] I think you’re grasping at straws, Jessica.

It’s so cruel. So soon after...

Please, Kathy, it won’t work.

Today in lieutenant Kriley’s office

there was a graph on the wall that reminded me

of the five fingers of a hand

and one of them was a different color from the rest.

Like the nail polish that you wore here

the morning after your husband’s death.

It was your usual color, Kathy--

red blush, I think it is, except for one nail.

And that was divine pink.

[Steve] See, Jessica’s been pounding into me

that one of a writer’s most valuable tools

is his power of observation.

I guess it finally rubbed off on me,

because when she mentioned this,

I finally remembered

putting an unopened bottle of divine pink

on Jimmy’s counter just before I left for the party.

Now the next morning, I knew something was missing.

But I couldn’t think of what.

Jessica helped me remember.

Well, I don’t know about you, Kathy,

but I’m not putting up with any more of this.

I don’t think so, ladies. Ms. Fletcher’s got it right.

I got a couple of search warrants earlier this evening

and I found this newly-opened bottle of divine pink

at your house, Mrs. Stafford.

What’s so unusual about that, lieutenant?

Well, the fact that there are only two sets of prints on it.

Yours and Mr. Burke’s, here.

Can you explain how you came into possession of Antoinette’s key

to the salon that you have in your hand there?

Ms. Rayburn. Mrs. Stafford.

I’m arresting you both for conspiracy to commit murder.

[Kathy] Ralph promised me

he wouldn’t play around anymore.

His affair with one of my closest friends

came as quite a shock to me.

[sighing ] The ultimate betrayal.

And somehow you discovered that the coin that Ralph gave you

was worthless.

My producer Madelyn found out quite by accident and told me.

Then Kathy came to me very upset.

Nancy made me realize

how Ralph had manipulated both of us in different ways.

The more we compared notes, the more furious we became.

During the party, I managed

to get Antoinette’s key from her bag.

[Kathy] I wrote the note from Jimmy,

knowing that he couldn’t refuse to come.

The wait seemed interminable.

It’s funny what one does to relieve stress.

I’d broken a nail, and as we waited,

I filed it smooth and was putting on the divine pink

when Ralph arrived, looking for Jimmy.

In the dark, I didn’t even notice

it was such a different color.

[Nancy] We told him how he’d scorned and cheated us.

-But he wasn’t listening. -[screams]

He was furious with us for tricking him.

I killed him.

[sniffs] He had it coming.

No, Kathy, we both killed him.

Come on.

Let’s go. Right now. Here we go.

Those two women had every reason to hate each other’s guts.

They hated Ralph Stafford even more.

It revived an earlier bond they had from their school days.

They called themselves hellraisers then.

What’s that they say, Jessica?

"Hell hath no fury..."

In this case, like two women scorned.

Ha.

Looking good, eh, Jess?

Oh, I couldn’t have written a happier ending myself.

Your new manager seems to have everything under control.

Jimmy and Antoinette’s. Can you hold a sec?

Jimmy! Mrs. Anders is waiting in your chair.

Hmm? Oh. Right, boss.

Oh, what’s she down for?

Jane Fonda in Klute?

-What’s that? -I don’t know.

That sort of shaggy-messy, you know.

Okay. I can do that.

Later, Jessica.

Jessica.

Steve, what are you doing still here?

You finished your book and Ted Hartley’s thrilled with it.

Yeah, yeah, he likes it so much, he wants me to start a sequel.

I may never get out of here.

[all laugh]