All language subtitles for Lucky.Luke.S01E01.Who.is.Mr.Joseph

(winds whispering)

♫ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

♫ Where the four winds blow

♫ And it's five miles wide

♫ Where a six-gun rules
and a man can't hide

♫ A man can play

♫ And a man can win

♫ Lucky Luke rides again

♫ Lucky Luke, born to ride

♫ With a six-gun by his side

♫ Lucky Luke, here's to you

♫ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

♫ There's a man who waits

♫ Over yonder hill

♫ And when he shoots, he shoots to kill

♫ But he don't know that in the end

♫ Lucky Luke will ride again

♫ Lucky Luke, born to ride

♫ With a six-gun by his side

♫ Lucky Luke, here's to you

♫ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

♫ On the dusty trail

♫ 'Neath the western sky

♫ Where the sun shines hard enough to fry

♫ A cowboys dream must never end

♫ Lucky Luke rides again

♫ Lucky Luke, born to ride

♫ With a six-gun by his side

♫ Lucky Luke, here's to you

♫ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

♫ Lucky Luke, born to ride

♫ With a six-gun by his side

♫ Lucky Luke, here's to you

♫ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

♫ Lucky Luke, born to ride

♫ With a six-gun by his side

♫ Lucky Luke, here's to you

(gun fires)
(glass shattering)

♫ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

(winds whispering)

(saloon piano music)

Full house, Kings and tens (chuckles).

Well, but hold it.

Four of a kind (laughs).

I knew I felt lucky.

Your luck just run out there didn't it?

Nobody beats me, not
even with four of a kind.

How 'bout six of a kind?

(horse whinnying)

Oh, oh Sheriff, I'm
sure glad to see you.

Just what's going on here?

Oh well, some folks just like
to turn a friendly card game

into a bramble bush.

Oh no, not another card shark.

Luke, last time it took all night

to clean up the mess you made.

Don't worry Lotta, I'll mop up.

Luke, Lucky Luke?

Ah, you heard of me?

(card shark chuckles)

Ah shucks.

Don't change the subject.

I'm still tryin' to get out the stain

the last poor man left my floor.

(card shark gasps)

(glass shattering)

(honky-tonk music)

[Farley] I thank you Mr. Nickels.

[Mr. Nickels] Thank you.

[Farley] All right
Laura, let's get goin'.

Hey, give me that sack.

I was gonna buy that sack of oats.

For a dam horse you ain't.

These oats are for my
children's breakfast.

Pa, Pa, it's okay.

Get out the way Laura.

Gentlemen, please,

there's a wagon load of oats
arriving in the morning.

Good, you come back in the mornin'.

Suppose I don't wanna do that?

(suspenseful music)

(rooster crowing)

(suspenseful music)

(both gasping)

I suppose you both simmer down,

and tell me what the problem is.

I already paid for them oats in there.

He was stealing.

(Farley and Harp gasping)

Young lady, what's the trouble here?

Well Pa and I came
into town for supplies.

And these hockbusters

snatched the last sack of oats (gasps).

That right, just one sack left?

Yes sir.

Got an empty sack?

Yeah.

(Farley and Harp gasping)

That's enough oats for each of you,

til the wagon comes in tomorrow.

Ah boys, thanks for
being such good sports.

Laura.

Who's paying for these lollipops?

Laura?

Yes Sheriff.

Is your Pa always so hard
headed when he's shopping?

Just when he runs into cattlemen.

[Farley] Laura, I told you
about talking to strangers.

Come on, we're leaving.

Thanks Sheriff Luke.

Now why would two men

wanna shoot it out over a bag of oats?

[Jolly Jumper] Would you
believe high cholesterol?

(mellow harmonic music)

Farley, we got to talk.

No Laura, you stay
here with the young 'uns.

I'll be back in a bit.

Sure Pa.

Where you goin'?

Shh.

(girl giggles)

Them cattlemen are
already driving their herds

into our valley.

Well Red, that can't be,

the cowpoke at the store

was only buying grub enough
for half a dozen men.

Well, that's not what I'm told,

and that ain't the half it.

Well them cattlemen are
not gonna let us farmers

on their grazing land.

We gotta get them before they get us.

You're talkin' crazy Red.

Anyone else here think I'm loco?

All right, now I know

where we can get the kind of fire power

them cowpunchers can't fight.

(cows mooing)

(harmonica music)

(hooves thudding)

[Biscuits] Secret weapon?

That's what Mr. Joseph says.

'Cause those settlers gonna
be lying in wait for us,

if we try to ride them
cattle into the valley.

I told ya I don't trust farmers.

They look peaceful enough,

but they'll plow you under
the first chance they get.

Well Mr. Joseph said
we better handle this

before we round up the herd.

(harmonica music)

Don't you know any other tunes?

[Biscuits] Everybody eatin' Hank?

(harmonica music)

(cows mooing)

(flies buzzing)

Ready Bushwack?

Go get it.

(Bushwack whines)

(object thuds)
(woman screams)

Good dog Bushwack.

(Bushwack whines)

I toss you a bone,

and you come back with a whole meal.

(Bushwack whines)

Hey Lotta, what a surprise.

See, she fetched your bone for you.

Thank you Lotta.

(dog bone thuds)

Very funny Luke.

Figured you'd be hungry
and maybe lonesome.

Unless you like talkin' to
the dumbest dog in the West.

(Bushwack growls)

Oh, I brought us some
wine I've been saving.

Ah, Venda Le Julin, 1799.

Good stuff.

You bet your saddle it...

How would you know that?

Ya know.

[Both] Lucky guess.

Gotcha Panchito.

Buenos dias.

I can never surprise you Sheriff Luke.

You would if you knocked.

Si senorita.

Luke, I found the settlers camp.

Good work.

Thanks Lotta, be back.

Come on, let's go.

Wine?

(Bushwack growls)

(honky-tonk music)

[Farley] Sheriff, something wrong?

Nope, I just stopped by to say, howdy.

Hi Laura.

Hello Sheriff.

Laura, this is man talk,

get those children cleaned
up and get 'em to bed now.

[Jolly Jumper] Get 'em
to invite you to supper,

you'll like it, it's beans.

Hey, what's that, beans?

Yeah, have some, we got plenty.

[Luke] Thanks.

Wanna show you something Sheriff.

This is El Viagrande.

That's Spanish.

Hmm, thanks.

Beautiful valley,

and we got a government deed to settle it.

Of course, them cowpunchers

claim they got a deed to graze it.

It's like them oats Sheriff,

both of us need it,

but only one's gonna
end up with this land.

You split the oats.

Why can't you split the land?

Cause we're planting crops.

Well you graze 10,000 head
of cattle over our land,

won't be worth a bucket of warm spit.

(Jolly Jumper snorts )

[Jolly Jumper] Disgusting.

Well I'm not the
Marshall of this territory,

but if I could see your deed, I could...

Thanks very much Sheriff,
we can handle this.

All right, thanks for the
beans, nice and crunchy.

Sheriff Luke.

Laura, what's the matter?

There's something I gotta tell you.

(honky-tonk music)

(harmonica music)

(coyote howling)

[Biscuits] Harp, our only chance

is to get the same kind of fire power

as those settlers have.

[Harp] That's just what Mr. Joseph said.

(harmonica music)
(coyote howling)

Ya know, for a government agent,

he seems kind of well, violent.

[Biscuits] Well, so
what if he's on our side.

I say that we need him.

What do you say?

[Harp] I say between that
dagblasted harmonica player,

and that howling coyote,
I can't hear myself think.

(rock thuds)
(coyote whines)

(coyote whimpers)

(rock whirling)

(rock thuds)

Well now, why didn't I
think of that (chuckles).

[Biscuits] Whatever
we do to those settlers,

it has to be before round-up.

We don't wanna stampede the herd.

(crickets chirping)

[Luke] Hi folks.

[Harp] Ah, Sheriff ah, we
were just discussing ah...

[Luke] Viagrande.

Popular topic.

[Jolly Jumper] Wonder what the ranchers

are having for supper?

[Luke] What's that, beans?

[Harp] Yeah, we got plenty, have some.

[Luke] Thanks.

[Biscuits] We'd eh,
offer your horse some oats,

but we're a little short tonight.

[Jolly Jumper] I'll
settle for a Caesar salad.

[Luke] I was at the settlers camp and...

[Harp] And uh, they said
that they have the deeds

to move into that valley, not us.

[Luke] They also say,

you cowpokes have
something up your sleeves

besides hair and sweat.

[Jolly Jumper] Cancel the
salad, I lost my appetite.

[Harp] We didn't start this thing.

[Biscuits] You've got no authority here.

We don't need no half-baked lawman

telling us how to handle our own affairs.

[Luke] Maybe not, but I
don't want anyone getting hurt.

(burps) Talk about half-baked, thanks.

[Jolly Jumper] First
time I ever heard you

complain about beans.

(suspenseful music)

[Harp] I still don't like this idea.

[Biscuits] Don't pay
half no mind Mr. Josephs.

You just deliver the munitions,

and we'll have the gold for ya.

[Harp] Biscuits, this ain't right.

We ain't no soldiers, we cowboys,

and our job is tending herds of cattle

that's drift across the plain
as far as the eye can see.

(wagon rumbling)

(suspenseful music)

[Farley] Red, I got a gut
feeling something's wrong here.

[Red] Well stop feeling with your gut,

and start thinking with your head.

(suspenseful music)

Evening Mr. Josephs.

Guess you know why we're back.

We're ready to make a deal.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

Well just what kind of deal
did you fellas have in mind.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

Hold it right there.

You yellow-bellied tinhorn.

[Joe] It's me, you morons, Joe.

[Jack] Sorry Joe, didn't recognize you.

In them fancy duds.

We're used to you looking shabby.

Shut up.

Relax Averell, it's just Joe.

[Will] So what happened Joe?

Did they fall for it?

Like a fat man on the gallows.

I got them settlers thinking

that the cowboys are out to
ambush them, and vice-versa.

So...

What now Joe?

Well now it's time for Mr. Josephs

to live up to his end of the bargain.

Have you boys arranged everything

with Slim and Fort Mustang?

Mm hmm, Slim's ready and awaiting.

You know, this is a
pretty scummy trick Joe.

Even for a Dalton.

Yes it is, isn't it?

And the best part,

is getting Lucky Luke
right where it hurts.

Starting a range war with
Daisy Town right in the middle.

Lucky Luke won't even know what's coming,

til it hits him right in the jaw.

(water splashing)

(fish thudding)

Wow, ain't she a whopper Joe?

(frog croaking)

Pa, where did you and Red go last night?

[Farley] That don't concern you Laura.

You went to see that
Mr. Josephs, didn't you?

You been spying on me girl?

I heard what Red told you last night.

Pa, what he wants you to do is wrong.

Who do you think you are?

You sound like that cowboy Sheriff.

If you ever back talk me again, I swear...

Laura, Laura, I'm sorry.

Someone is egging both
sides into a showdown,

and it's not a cowboy or a settler.

Luke, some folks are bound
to scrap no matter what.

You can't patrol the whole territory.

Yeah, but I'm supposed
to protect Daisy Town.

Range wars have wrecked
bigger towns than ours.

Look at the Gizzard Gulch or Sageberg.

Look where?

Never heard of them.

That's the point, ghost towns,

and I have to make sure that
it doesn't happen to us.

This girl Laura's been
talking about a Mr. Josephs.

I never heard of him either.

Me neither, til yesterday.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

(Bushwack snoring loudly)

What happened to Bushwack?

Did you give him some of
that fancy wine last night?

Now look Luke, waste good
wine on that living doormat?

All I did was let him sniff the cork.

Poor Bushwack, I guess he's not cut out

for the finer things in life.

And how about you Luke?

Well I...

Thanks for the coffee.

(mellow honky-tonk music)

Who goes there?

Whoa, just me, Slim.

Come on through Slim, let him in boys.

(kegs rumbling)

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

All right Joe, coast is clear.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

What do ya know?

We're in.

Whew, I'm dizzy.

[Joe] You oughta be used to that by now.

Hurry up Joe, if they
catch us, we'll all hang.

Come on, come on, move those kegs.

Will you be careful.

(whimsical music)

Stop that, what are you trying
to do, get us all killed?

(whimsical music)

[Slim] Well, that's about
it, I'll be seeing ya.

Sure that load's secure?

Oh yeah, you bet.

[Averell] Darn it all
Slim, I gotta message my leg.

I got a charley horse.

[Joe] Shut up.

Did you say something Slim?

Huh me, no, uh must be,
must be my stomach grumbling.

Well it just won't shut up sometimes.

Shut up, shut up!

Well, gotta get to Fort
Thunderbird, so long.

(wagon rumbling)

(mellow honky-tonk music)

You know what Jolly?

I like this, drinking coffee,

bunking out under the stars,

with nothing but a saddle for a pillow.

Kind of reminds me of the old days.

[Jolly Jumper] I hate it
when he gets all misty on me.

I know, I know how you hate it

when I get all misty like this.

Besides, I better keep my
mind on this Mr. Josephs.

(branches crackling)

Long way from home, aren't you Panchit?

Laura, what are you doing out here?

You know it's dangerous.

[Jolly Jumper] Well
what am I doing here?

I'll take you back to your camp.

Come on, I'll take you home.

It's not my home anymore.

Why not?

Because I'm gonna be your new deputy.

(wagon rumbling)

[Slim] Whoa!

(Averell snoring loudly)

[Jack] Hey, why are we stopping?

[Joe] And what's that funny noise?

[Jack] Well that fool
Averell went and fell asleep.

[Joe] What's the hold up Slim?

[Slim] As far as I can go Joe.

I get too far off my schedule,

the Colonel will have my hide.

[Joe] You don't drive us down
there, I'll have your hide,

and I'll make a circus tent out of it.

(suspenseful music)

(kegs rumbling)

(Joe moaning)

[Will] Well, what do ya know?

[Averell] We're here.

[Joe] Yeah, only the
kegs are still up there.

[Slim] So long boys.

[Will] So long Slim.

[Jack] So long slim.

(Averell snoring loudly)

[Laura] But why not?

[Luke] Well, first of all,
I already have a deputy,

second, you're only 14 years old.

[Laura] 14 and a half.

[Luke] Ha, my mistake.

[Laura] It's because I'm a girl, right?

[Luke] No, ever hear of
Annie Oakley or Calamity Jane?

I'd be proud to have either
of them as my deputy.

Well, here we are.

[Jolly Jumper] How 'bout
Black Beauty, what a filly.

[Laura] At least tell
me what your gonna do now.

[Luke] I'm gonna track
down this Mr. Josephs.

[Laura] That will be easy.

See, Pa and Red went
to see him last night,

they were due West and the
wagon had a cracked wheel,

so you can follow the track.

I figured they went...

[Luke] All right, all right,

you might be a good deputy after all.

[Jolly Jumper] Deputy?

She oughta run for Sheriff.

[Luke] Let's make it official.

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear to uphold the laws

of Daisy Town and this territory?

[Laura] I do.

What's my first duty Sheriff?

[Luke] Keep an eye on your camp,

let me know if you hear anymore
talk about this Mr. Josephs.

[Laura] Oh, do I get a badge?

[Luke] When you earn one.

Now get some sleep.

[Laura] Yes sir Sheriff.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

[Jolly Jumper] Glad we got that settled.

Good work boys.

Now take those kegs into the shack.

Joe, whatcha doin', you gone loco?

Sometimes I wonder
how I wound up so smart,

and you three ended up
with the brains of a rock.

Don't you remember the plan?

Plan, oh yeah.

Oh yeah, the plan.

By noontime, those stupid
sidebusters and cowpunchers,

are gonna make us Dalton's,

the richest men in the territory.

Yeah, rich.

You sure you hadn't forgotten nothing?

Yeah, we always forget something.

Don't fret boys,

I thought this one out
from start to finish.

Nothing could go wrong.

Wouldn't be too sure Joe.

All right Mr. Smartychaps,
tell me, what could go wrong?

Lucky Luke could find out.

Lucky Luke, who the
blaze would be so dumb

to tell Lucky Luke about our plan?

Well, you just did Joe.

(whimsical flute music)

(wind whistling)

Howdy Mr. Josephs.

How long is he been standing there?

Going on seven minutes.

Seven minutes, seven minutes
why didn't you tell me?

I was waiting for a
lull in the conversation.

(Joe growls)

- Oh, Mr. Williams, Mr.
- Jacks, Mr. Averells.

Got no call to be spying on us.

Unless you count stealing gunpowder.

We didn't steal any gunpowder Sheriff.

We're changed men, totally reformed.

See, nice duds, $50.00
shoes, fancy cigars,

heck, we even got ourselves some manners.

How 'bout a light (chuckles).

(fire igniting)

(suspenseful music)

(Joe laughs maniacally)

[Jolly Jumper] Listen to 'em,

guess they like our surprise visit.

(Joe laughing maniacally)

(suspenseful music)

See Sheriff, we ain't outlaws no more.

We're legitimate businessman.

You legitimate businessmen
almost blew us to kingdom come.

You think this is gunpowder?

That was just my little joke.

Show him Jack.

Sawdust?

I ain't fool enough to light a cigar

in a room full of gunpowder.

So, you're gonna sell those
cowboys and settlers sawdust,

and tell them it's gunpowder.

That's what's so nice
about being a businessman.

Ain't a whole lot different
from being an outlaw.

(Dalton gang laughs)

What are gonna do Sheriff,

arrest us for the possession of sawdust?

[Luke] Nope, I'm gonna show both sides

what's in these kegs.

[Joe] Oh no you ain't, 'cause
by now they're so riled up,

they just go out and get real gunpowder.

And Daisy Town will be
smack dab in the middle.

A real range war.

(Dalton gang laughs)

So you see, you need
us, to buy you some time.

I thought of everything, admit it Sheriff.

You really stepped in
it this time (chuckles).

(whimsical music)

Funny you put it that way Joe,

a man who thinks of everything,

should never walk behind
a horse in his new shoes.

$50.00 shoes.

(flies buzzing)

I'll help ya Joe.

Silk handkerchief.

(hammer clanging)

Annie, I was wondering if you...

Just a minute Sheriff.

(horseshoe clangs)

[Jolly Jumper] Look at that,

I don't see her throwing her shoes around.

Still hangs a bit to the left.

I know the telegraph office is closed,

but I need to send a message right away.

[Annie] Don't fret,
Sparky left me a key.

(telegraphs keys thudding)

You type pretty fast.

Daddy made me take up typing,

so I'd have a skill to fall back on.

What's it say?

The office you have wired is
not in service at this time,

please check your number and wire again.

[Man] Ranchers, come on
everybody, place your bets.

So much for Fort Pinto.

Try Fort Escort.

If these kegs are Army property,
I can arrest Joe Dalton.

For stealing sawdust?

Luke, you're grasping at straws.

I've nothing else to go on.

(crowd shouting loudly)

[Man] Come on everybody, place a bet.

Ranchers or settlers.

[Luke] I've gotta do something soon.

Fort Escort, no missing kegs, stop,

suggest you try Fort Fiesta, stop.

Keep at it Annie.

Men, tomorrow, Mr. Josephs
sells us his gunpowder,

then if those settlers set
one toe in El Valle Grande,

it's war,

w-o-r-e, war!

(ranchers cheer)

We oughta stampede 'em.

All right, all right, at ease.

Now we didn't start this fight,

but those sidebusters, they ain't like us.

They're different from us.

They're different from us.

Them cowpunchers want a
war, we'll give 'em a war.

(ranchers cheer)

El Viagrande is rightfully ours.

[Ranchers] That's right,
that's right, that's right.

Excuse me gentlemen.

That kind of talk wasn't
meant for your ears.

How much did you hear?

Just about all of it.

If you're gonna hit me, go ahead,

but I'll still warn Sheriff Luke.

Fine, fine, if he means more to ya

then your own flesh and blood.

Pa, I'm thinking of you
too, and the young 'uns.

Red's gonna get us all killed.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

Bronson Cave.

What?

Bronson Cave, that's where
we're meeting Mr. Josephs.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

Annie, I just can't wait any anymore.

If those folks find out they were cheated,

all hell's gonna break loose.

Wait Luke, we haven't
heard from Fort Mustang yet.

Never mind, I'll get the
Dalton's on something else.

Deputy, weren't you supposed
to keep an eye on your camp?

Sheriff, I know where Red

is meeting Mr. Josephs this morning.

Well, what do ya know.

Maybe the winds starting
to blow my way again.

Come on.

[Jolly Jumper] Stand
back folks, give me room.

Here we go!

(dramatic honky-tonk music)

Oh my God.

(crowd shouting loudly)

[Man] Who are you pushing?

(fists thudding)
(honky tonk music)

Sheriff!

Lotta, have you seen Luke?

Oh he just rode out of
town with the Farley girl.

I guess he's gonna stop the
Dalton's big boondoggle.

Fort Mustang just wired,
60 of those kegs were stolen.

Oh, I love perfume.

(fire igniting)

A little strong, don't you think?

They were holding these
kegs for a drilling company.

The sawdust is only
packing for nitroglycerin.

Nitro, Luke doesn't know
what he's riding into.

(dramatic honky-tonk music)

[Luke] Go Jumper go,
no time for dawdling.

[Jolly Jumper] Dawdling,
he thinks I'm dawdling.

You wanna see dawdling?

I'll show you dawdling.

And tell Luke to be
careful of that nitro.

Any little jolt might set if off.

Especially if it gets hot.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

Whew.

Gonna be a scorcher today.

There's a burr under my saddle

I want you three to take care of,

before we meet our customers.

We know Joe.

Bronson Cave.

(hat thuds)

Git off.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

[Jolly Jumper] Dum, dee dum dum,

diddle dawdle dawdle dawdle, oh do do do.

All right, so this is
dawdling, I get the point,

but now let's get going.

[Jolly Jumper] Yeah.

Jolly Jumper, the lives of
innocent people are at stake.

[Jolly Jumper] Dawdle dawdle dawdle.

Not to mention their horses.

[Jolly Jumper] Oh, he
didn't tell me it was serious.

Let's go!

(dramatic honky-tonk music)

[Red] So, you told her about the cave?

Yeah, and Laura's
gonna tell that Sheriff,

so you best call off that fool meetin'.

(laughs) The meetin' ain't
gonna be at Bronson's Cave.

Mr. Josephs figured you'd fold on us,

so we told you the wrong place (laughs).

Ah!

(fist thuds)

(mellow honky-tonk music)

[Man] Hey my horse, come back here.

Ah, let that turncoat go.

We got an appointment at El Viagrande.

[Harp] Ha!

(cows mooing)
(hooves thudding)

(mellow honky-tonk music)

(crows cawing)

I, I don't understand.

I guess we're early.

Oh no, you're right on time.

Let's take care of that burr

under Joe's saddle (chuckles).

Why didn't you let me do that before?

Now we got to ride all
the way back to the shack.

We mean the Sheriff dummy.

Come on.

(suspenseful music)

But they have to be here.

Maybe they're inside the cave.

(Dalton gang grunts)

(boulder rumbling)

Laura!

(Dalton gang laughs)

Let's git.

[Luke] That was close, you all right?

[Laura] Yes, I'm fine.

Oh no, we'll never move that rock.

We're trapped.

[Luke] Maybe not.

(Luke whistles)

[Jolly Jumper] Ooh, ooh, how uncouth.

[Luke] Jumper, get help!

[Jolly Jumper] Great,

how am I supposed to tell 'em, charades?

(Jolly Jumper whinnies)

There must be another way out,

we gotta stoop those Dalton's.

Sheriff, I'm sorry.

Some deputy I turned out to be.

Don't say that, you did the right thing.

I lead you right into an ambush.

It wasn't your fault.

(animal growling)

Ouch!

[Laura] Wait, I see something.

(animal growling)

we're not alone.

(animal growling)

(suspenseful music)

(wolf whimpering)

Let's go, if there's a
back door to this place,

the wolf will find it for us.

(wagon rumbling)

Yo, hey!

Hey, that's my wagon.

Oh, you must Laura's father.

(horse whinnying)

(hooves thudding)

Jolly Jumper.

[Jolly Jumper] Hmm, now this might be

a little tougher than I thought.

Sheriff, what if there is
no back door to this cave?

Suppose we follow this
wolf all the way to China?

That's no way to think.

I can't help it, I'm not a real lawman.

I'm not brave, like you.

Not brave?

You're as brave as anyone I know.

I am?

Yeah, and smart,

I wouldn't have found out

what the Dalton's are up to without you.

Why are you the only one
who thinks I'm special?

Maybe because I'm the
first one to notice.

(mellow honky-tonk music)

This valley belongs to us Josephs.

What'd you ask them varmints for?

We got a deal.

No we had the deal.

What are these farmers doing here?

I thought this sale was
supposed to be exclusive like?

Ah what are you cooking up?

You can't even cook beans.

Ah, gentlemen, gentlemen,
let's not blow up at each other.

Hiya, whoa, whoa.

[Lotta] Luke, Laura!

[Luke] You'll see,
we'll get out of here.

(wolf growling)

Oh, she's found her pups.

(pups whimpering)

Listen sidebuster, we had this deal set,

so you're not moving in.

We're already here, you're moving out.

We'll see who's moving out.

You wanna showdown?

[Both] You wanna showdown?

Boys, he wants a showdown.

(gun fires)

All right, let's quit the bickering,

and start the bidding.

The bidding?

We already settled on a price.

Yeah, so did we.

Of course ya did, that was before

I knew I had two interested parties.

Bidding is the only fair
way to settle this boys.

[Laura] Sheriff.

(whimsical flute music)

Hey, ha, pull,

pull, hiya, pull Jumper.

Can I give ya a hand?

Oh sure.

Luke.

[Farley] Laura.

[Jolly Jumper] Jumper!

Sheriff, you gotta stop the
Dalton's before it's too late.

Too late for what?

Remember those kegs of sawdust?

I'm ready to start bidding
with this cheapskate.

Why you ain't worth the
paper your note is written on.

I don't need paper, I got gold.

Fool's gold.

Biscuits, can't you see he
ain't playin' with a full deck?

Look at him, smoking that cigar,

settin' on top all that gunpowder.

All right, I'll start
the bidding at $5,000.00.

Who'll say five, do I hear five?

Do I hear...

No, it can't be.

I know those hoof beats anywhere.

(hooves thumping)
(wagon rumbling)

Ah, doggonit.

[Farley] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sheriff, what are you doing here?

I'm trying to stop you

from cutting a deal with
a common horse thief.

Horse thief?

Yeah, Joe Dalton.

Joe Dalton?

Why, I heard he don't go
nowhere without his brothers.

That's right,

he doesn't.

[All] The Dalton's!

By the way Joe, you sure
picked the wrong kegs to steal.

You're sittin' on nitroglycerin.

Nitro?

Glycerin.

Idiots, can't you see he's bluffin'?

You know as well as me,

there's nothing but sawdust in them kegs.

Sawdust.

[Harp] Get a rope.

[Biscuits] We've been taken.

We have been taken, by
God, that's two of us.

Why this crook has been
tryin' to steal my gold.

Your gold, it's my gold.

My gold.

I say we drag 'em by his fancy boots.

[Harp] Let's get 'em.

[Red] Tar and feather him as well.

Let the law handle it.

Well, I'd rather tar and feather him.

I told you he was crazy.

Lucky Luke, I vowed the
next time you humiliated me,

would be the last.

Yeah, and that was at
least two humiliations ago.

He shot my deal full of
holes, I'll give ya that,

but you're never gonna convince me

that I was sitting on a keg
of nitro the last 20 minutes.

I'm not?

No you're not,

because nitro is 10 times
as powerful as gunpowder,

and comes in tiny little bottles,

like these.

(crows cawing)

(all screaming)

(nitro explodes)

[Biscuits] Folks, move!

Let's get out of here.

Titus!

[Jolly Jumper] Whoa, I forgot Joe.

(dramatic honky tonk-music)

(nitro exploding)

(dramatic music)

Sheriff.

Look.

♫ Oh my darlin', oh my darlin'

♫ Oh my darlin' Daisy Town

♫ I'll say baby

♫ You say maybe

♫ And I'll really stick around

♫ You're my baby

♫ I'll say maybe

♫ And I'll really stick around

(Joe laughs)

Oh thank goodness you're all right.

I guess we can't say the
say for Viagrande folks.

I guess we'll have to be movin' on.

So much for our grazing land.

So much for our farms.

Ya know, we get some
of those tourist types

from back East,

charge 'em two bits a head,

and we just might have something here.

(whimsical honky-tonk music)

(all laughing)

[Jolly Jumper] And that's how
The Grand Canyon came about.

One of the most famous sights
in the American Southwest,

and if you believe this story,

I got some canyon land
I'd like to sell ya.

♫ Of all the lonesome cowboys in the West

♫ I figure I've gotta be the lonesomest

♫ I want to ride the range
where there's lots of elbow room

♫ Feel the wind blow free
and smell the sagebrush plum

♫ Rather be on my own

♫ So I'm singing my lonesome cowboy blues

♫ Yes I'm the lonesomest
cowboy that I know

♫ But when it comes to courtin'
and such I move real slow

♫ Met a purdy gal asked to
get hitched the other day

♫ My horse got so upset
we rode the other way

♫ I gotta be on my own

♫ So I'm singing my lonesome cowboy blues

♫ Some folks think it's heaven in a hotel

♫ With their puffed up pillows
and their quilts piled high

♫ Well I don't hanker for no hotels

♫ Just wanna get my boots
off by the campfire's glow

♫ While the lonely coyotes cry

♫ Well my bed is my horse and saddle

♫ And my blanket is the sky