Original subtitles

("The Silence" by The Accidentals)

♫ We sat beneath the stars at a fire

♫ And played our new guitars

♫ And I wondered how long this was gonna last

♫ Because picture perfect memories

♫ Just come with all those tougher things

♫ And pain's the best reminder of our past

♫ I watched the meteors fall

♫ On a world that hardly cared at all

♫ Leaving silver trails of dust across the sky

♫ Of indigo blue that matched my mood

♫ And with constellations for tattoos

♫ And I watched them fade away and quickly die

♫ So many theories wrong and soon disproved

♫ So many ideas lost among the feud

♫ So many conversations that are sadly misconstrued

♫ And lost among debate and needless violence

(friends cheering)

♫ We need the silence

(friends cheering)

♫ We walked in a haunted place

♫ With tattered walls and empty space

♫ And a musty smell that drenched the nighttime air

♫ Neither of us said a word

♫ And we waited till we heard the birds

♫ And realized not once had we ever been scared

♫ So many theories wrong and soon disproved

♫ So many ideas lost among the feud

♫ So many conversations that are sadly misconstrued

♫ And lost among debate and needless violence

♫ We need the silence

- You think you can get to me, bitch?

- He is the hottest guy in town.

(indistinct chatter)

(girls howling/laughing)

- [Girl] Wow, that is so exciting!

("The Silence" by The Accidentals)

(friends laughing and cheering)

- Please, Lord, tell us what to do.

Please be with Nella.

Reach out your hand to her and embrace her

with your big fatherly loving arms.

And Jenny, God,

eyes to see in this deep blindness.

And Sarah, Lord, ears to hear in the midst

of this chaotic noise.

And please prepare David for what he is about to endure...

- Carly!

Shut up!

- And God, please spare Tammy Jane from the depths of hell.

(screams in aggravation)

- [TJ Voiceover] When I was a kid,

I used to think that being 16

would make me feel so grown up.

Then when I was 16, I used to think that being 21

would mean I'd finally arrived.

Now I'm 23, and I am starting to wonder

if you ever reach a point of feeling like a grown up.

(scream of aggravation ends)

- Well, that was dramatic.

Okay, so does anybody have any ideas?

What do we do?

Do we tell David?

- Go

to

(quickly vomits)

- That was a big one.

- Okay, I've had enough of you two.

I think we should just call Drew.

- I think we should call David.

- No!

We can't tell him yet.

- Why don't we have his fiance call him?

- I think we should give Nella some space.

You know, let go and let God...

- Let God what?

(scoffs) Thought so.

- You know what, Jenny?

I'm kind of hungry.

How does pizza covered in mayonnaise

with tuna fish sound to you?

(quickly vomits) - Cut it out!

I think we should just call Drew.

- Yeah, call your big brother.

Any time, this is like the time you pissed yourself

in third grade.

- Not really.

- This is all my fault, you guys.

I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't have kept pushing Nella.

I just, (laughs)

I got so mad.

- Don't talk if you don't need to.

It's not your fault.

- (sighs) Ignorance is happiness or something, right?

(sighs)

- Jen, this would have come out at some point.

Nella didn't need you to bring it out in her.

- Oh, yes, please tell us something we don't already know,

Miss I-have-a-4.0-at-Stanford.

- Carly, what exactly do you have a 4.0 in

besides Jesus camp?

And I didn't see you trying to keep Nella sober either.

- Well, God didn't try to keep Sodom and Gomorrah sober.

He just destroyed them.

- Sodom and Gomorrah were cities.

You can't keep a cit sober, stupid.

- You don't read the Bible much, do you Carly?

- Hey, TJ, if you were to die right now,

where do you think you would go?

- [TJ] Anywhere you're not.

- Oh, that would be hell,

and I'm fairly certain you don't mean that.

- Oh, I look terrible.

- Insinuating that you looked better

before all that pizza and booze?

(grunts loudly)

Oh, gro...

Ew!

What is that thing?

- This is stupid.

I'm calling Drew.

I quit.

- No you didn't.

- Three months' sober.

- Ha-ha!

You can quit when you go back to school.

- I'll try.

- Hmm.

Hmm.

(lighter clicks)

(exhales deeply)

When we were in high school,

did you actually think we'd stay friends with Nella?

Be honest.

- No, but I guess it's no surprise.

- What happened to calling your brother?

- Escape tactic.

- Ha!

I don't blame you.

You think he'll be the problem solver this time?

- At this point, he might be the only one

with enough motivation to try.

I mean, he was pretty good at coaching you

through your break-ups, wasn't he?

- Is this a break-up?

Is that what we're calling it?

- Not yet, it isn't.

- It was a friendship that was not supposed to last

past high school.

And like a diseased rotten apple,

she survived the harvest.

Why were we even friends with Nella in the first place?

- What else do you do in a dime-sized town called Willits?

- Try not to get pregnant. (laughs)

- Why are you here, TJ?

I mean, out of all of us, you had the right to say no.

Why did you agree to be a bridesmaid?

- I don't know.

I thought I was cool with everything.

Besides, Nella did not ask me to be a bridesmaid.

David did, dun-dun-dun.

- Shut up.

Why would David agree to do that for her?

- (laughs) Why wouldn't he do that for her?

God, Sarah, it's because she's got big nice tits.

And after everything,

she cheats on him the night before their wedding

and leaves all of us in the cloud of her shit.

Mic drop.

Pick that mic back up.

We're callin' Drew.

(knocking at door)

Thanks for coming out so late.

- Yeah, no problem.

Hey, TJ.

- Hey, Drew.

Yeah, I knew he liked me.

I caught on when he tried to nickname me Bette Davis Eyes

or when he told David I was like a rock star's muse.

He was drunk.

So I try to keep him out of trouble and play dumb,

something I loathe doing.

- So...

(sighs heavily)

Did someone have something they wanna say?

(everyone speaks at once)

- I was not super-drunk.

I had a few... (everyone talking at once)

- None of us - Whoa!

Should even be here. - Whoa! Whoa!

- No one should show up tomorrow.

- Hey!

One at a time, please.

Sarah.

Carly.

- We all met up at Nella's place.

We picked her up.

We had this big surprise party planned.

It was gonna take all night, and then,

hold on (vomits).

- Okay, she's coming, she's coming, she's coming.

- All right, here we go.

- Yay!

- David!

What are you doing here? - Oh, forgive me.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm leaving right now. - You are not supposed

to see her. - If you'll just excuse me.

I had to see my bride (women arguing)

one last time before tomorrow...

- [Sarah] It doesn't matter.

You need to get.

- All right, message received.

You girls have some fun, be safe,

and make sure that this one cuts loose a little.

- No, no, no thank you.

- How you doin', Tammy Jane?

- Fine.

- Okay.

You girls, be good.

- Okay, let's keep focused on who tonight is actually about,

shall we?

- Yeah, back to Nella.

- My brother is marrying Nella, not you,

so get over it. (deeply inhales/exhales)

- Okay, did I need to hear that?

- I would not say that!

- How did you say it, then, Carly?

- [Sarah] Jen.

- [Jenny] Maybe TJ can help us?

- No.

- TJ said no.

Jenny, move on.

- After that, we went to the Golden...

Wait.

I'm good.

We went to the Golden Brew.

- And?

- We drank.

- They drank.

- There she is! - Ooh, come on!

- Congratulations, pretty girl.

You look gorgeous. - Thank you!

- [TJ Voiceover] Like Cinderella, Nella was beautiful,

the prettiest girl at the ball,

a swervy goddess with a sneaky little smile on her face.

She always looked up to no good and usually was.

But even I have to admit, there's an addiction

to the kind of attention you get

from a girl like Nella Kingsberry.

(heavy seductive beat)

- You okay? - Yup.

- Swear? - I swear.

- Oh, my gosh, my entourage looks so beautiful!

You guys, I'm so excited!

I'm gonna be spoiled tonight, right?

- Of course! - Don't worry, princess.

We have a Nella-spectacular night planned.

- Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited! (squeals)

Oh, are we going to Amici's,

because I hinted it way too many times

for you guys to miss that.

- I think you'll like what we have planned better.

You know, I know you.

- Yes, you do.

Oh, my gosh!

Do you remember senior prom there?

- Unfortunately.

- That's where you got your nickname. (laughs)

Memories.

- Okay, get her!

- [Nella] Get what?

Oh!

No!

Guys, no!

This is not, no.

I spent a lot of money on this outfit.

- Nella, it's a rite of passage.

You have to wear it.

- Oh, my gosh, this looks terrible.

I'm not promising at all.

- Oh, you just wait.

(exaggerated crying)

- Okay, fine.

So why are we here?

- Just a little pregame before the big stuff.

Calm down.

- How long are we gonna be here?

- All night, bitch.

- Look, it is all going to be fun.

I promise we have a full night planned out.

Don't be this way.

- What way?

Yeah.

Okay, fine.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

You know what?

It's gonna be tons of fun.

I'm gonna go get a drink.

- Can I wait in the car?

("Forget" by The Accidentals)

- Hey!

Hot bartender, how about a round

of oatmeal cookie shots for me

and my super-cute ladies over there?

- Hey, need some help, lover?

- He's being a jerk.

Forget him.

- Hey, Brandon.

- Hi, Nella.

What can I do ya for?

- Are you givin' my girl some problems?

- Pretty good problem causer.

- Well, I have a problem that I need solved.

- I'll give it a shot.

- (laughs) See, the thing is I wanna get drunk.

It's my bachelorette party,

and I don't have a drink in my hand.

- Maybe your girl shoulda told me that.

I might have been a little nicer for ya.

- (laughs) Brandon, are you gonna get me what I want?

- Let's get a shot.

(squeals)

I'm so excited!

- Well, can we go to Amici's.

Thank you.

- You know when you get your second round.

- Well, I actually have to be careful,

because you know how I get when I get drunk.

- Don't tempt me.

- The girl's getting married tomorrow,

in case you cared.

- A girl's gotta enjoy her last night of freedom.

- What's that supposed to mean?

You're disgusting.

- I didn't hear any complaining from you the other night.

- Fuck you.

- [Drew] Wait a second.

Do I know Brandon?

- You know Brandon.

Brandon Scott from high school.

- Oh, God.

That was Brandon Scott?

- I heard he's been selling drugs.

- I heard he once slept with his cousin.

- I heard that you watch porn.

- No, I do not!

That is disgusting!

No, I don't... - [Drew] Okay,

can we get to the part where it became necessary

to call me at three a.m.?

- May you and David live a long and happy life

full of laughter and loyalty and love.

- Yay, cheers!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Here we go!

Yummy!

- Oh, my God! - What?

- This is the song.

- Oh! - Cheer squad, take it away!

- A cheer song?

I'm not doing this song.

- It still works, you remember?

- I don't remember.

- Oh, come on, come on.

You, hurry up, come here!

- Okay, I'm here.

- [Both] Five, six, seven, eight.

(clapping rhythmically) (laughing)

Right!

(cheering loudly)

- Oh, my God!

I can't believe I remembered everything.

- So embarrassing, right?

- So wait, BFFs forever, right?

- Of course.

- Promise?

- Why?

- Okay, I have to pee, hold on! (laughs)

- You remember that one time you fell?

- Oh, yeah.

(laughs) That was really funny.

- When I called, they said it was just beer and wine,

and now everyone's getting stupid and drunk.

- You know what you need?

You need to get laid.

- No!

(laughs) No, no I don't!

(sighs heavily)

- Cool story, Jenny.

- Looking for your whore friend?

- Excuse me?

- Your friend with the diamond ring on her finger?

I'm guessing my bartender isn't her fiance.

- What are you talking about?

- Check the men's bathroom.

Oh, and good luck with that one.

If I were you, I'd get some new friends.

(rock music playing)

- Hey!

Come dance with me.

- [TJ] No!

- Come on!

Being a bridesmaid is a great way to find a new boyfriend.

- (laughs) No!

- Okay, okay.

Well, I'm just gonna go fishing then.

I've got my fishin' pole,

and I've got my eyes on a beautiful fish.

Okay, let's try that again.

You're a beautiful fish.

Say it!

- I'm a beautiful fish.

- Say it louder.

- I'm a beautiful fish!

- The most beautiful fish in the sea!

(driving rock music)

(door slams open) (laughs loudly)

- Nella!

- Get out! - You're a bitch!

- What the hell is going on in here?

Shut up, I will handle this!

- The ladies room's the other way.

- Jenny, just listen to me.

Jenny, it's not what it looks like...

- Wait a minute.

- Oh, it's not? - Jenny, from calculus?

- Yeah.

- Wow!

You've really blossomed.

- [Nella] Shut up.

- You didn't make it to calculus.

- I, yeah, I did.

- The point is that Brandon here was showing me

this really cool beer that I wanted.

It's a limited edition that's not on the menu,

right Brandon?

- Yeah, the Blueberry Pumpkin Hefeweizen.

- The Blueberry Pumpkin whatever, listen,

and he was showing me how to tap the keg,

so I was here.

- Tap the keg?

Is that what we're callin' it?

- Well, he's gonna go do that.

Go do that. - You know,

I'll just, - Go ahead and do that.

- I'll just go ahead and tap it myself.

- Yeah, go! (laughs)

Jenny, listen.

- Nella, you need to explain yourself right now.

- If you think you saw something, trust me,

you didn't.

- Oh, please, Nella.

- Trust me, you didn't.

- Now you say it.

- I thought I saw something, but I didn't.

- Great. (laughs)

You know, the funny thing is

that there are so many girls out there

that are just dying to be my bridesmaids,

and honestly, I could have had you replaced like that.

(snaps fingers)

But I didn't, so... (laughs)

Make sense?

Okay, good.

(kisses quickly)

Let's go, have a shot!

- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck!

- I should have said something right then, you guys.

I'm sorry.

I just... (sighs)

Nella made that face she makes

when she's about to suck out a child's soul,

and I just wussed out.

- We all know that face.

- I just wish that I had been the one to find her.

I felt God calling me to follow her,

and then I didn't.

- Please enlighten us, Carly,

and tell us how you finding her would've changed anything.

- Well, I would have confronted her with God's love.

I wouldn't have wussed out.

I wouldn't have failed her.

- Nella didn't even want you in this wedding.

You're the obligatory family addition.

- At least I'm not the boring party favor.

- Well, if that isn't God's love, I don't know what is.

- Enough!

God!

- This is fun.

Is there any more beer?

- Teej, tell me what happened next.

- I think we should call David.

- [All] No!

- I would like to voice my side of things.

- Overruled.

(growls in frustration)

- If I did 30 crunches,

20 push-ups,

I ran, ran three miles.

(book thuds) (pen clatters)

(pills rattling)

(ragged breathing)

(phone dialing beeping)

Hey, hey David.

- Why's Carly even here?

- Because it's her brother.

Cut her a break.

She's still a kid.

- Stop covering for her, Sarah.

It's like you're trying to work out some kind of repentance.

- I'm probably half the reason

that she is the way that she is.

- A bitch?

- Okay, can we just get back to the story, please?

TJ.

- We brought her here.

It was supposed to be a surprise.

Everything seemed normal until...

- Okay, okay, okay, no...

- Okay, ready?

- Okay.

- [All] Surprise!

- Oh, my gosh.

Guys, this is,

this is awesome!

This is so cute!

Is this for me?

Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.

Is this handmade?

Wow, I love it.

- Drinks, anyone?

- [Sarah] Yes, drinks, let's get those going.

- We have pizza and Chiclets for later.

Nella, you have the bed, of course,

and the rest of us will just crash wherever.

- I'm not staying here.

- Wait, what?

- I'm not staying here tonight.

I'm getting married in the morning,

and I have to be up early, so I just...

- I'm sorry.

We just, we thought you'd be excited.

We wanted to do something special for you, Nells.

- Yeah, no, no.

My gosh, are you kidding me?

I'm so grateful.

I love this stuff. (laughs)

I just, I can't stay the night.

(bottle thuds) - Ha!

- You know what?

I will do this.

Okay, how about I stay around midnight-ish,

party it up, get crunk,

and then someone takes me home.

- Are you okay?

Did somebody upset you?

You know, we didn't mean to upset you.

- No!

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm just, it's nothing.

It's just, you know what?

It's stress.

It's stress from the wedding.

- Okay. - And I'm just

a little jittery, but I'm fine. (laughs)

I promise, I'm not Bridezilla or anything.

- Did you wanna pray before everybody starts drinking?

I just, I know how this whole crowd can get.

- How does this crowd get?

- You know what?

Why don't you go outside and pray

where God might here you?

- Okay, fine.

I'll take you home at midnight, Nella.

TJ will monitor the drinking. - Great.

- Carly, I wouldn't waste your breath,

as there's not much of a hope in hell anyways.

All right! (claps)

Party time! - Whoo-hoo!

- TJ, drink monitor, get us some drinks.

Strong with double... - Mmm.

- (sighs) I need to talk to you.

- What?

- When we were at the bar, Nella was gone for a long time.

I went looking for her,

and I found her in the bathroom with that bartender.

- What do you mean?

- I found them together in the bathroom.

They were hooking up, TJ.

- Shut up!

- Hello?

Can I get drinks?

Where are the drinks?

- Here are her drinks.

- Can we get the drinks, though, today?

Oh, thank you!

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Yummy, thank you!

- Okay, so to Nella and David.

- Oh, hold on.

This one's for me, because you're my DD.

- [TJ] Ha!

- So cheers!

- Cheers!

("Misfit" by Electrets)

- Whoo!

(girls cheering)

- Here we go.

(girls cheering)

- I want a drink!

Hold up!

I need a drink!

- Ew!

(party favors popping) (girls cheering)

♫ I'm a mis, I'm a mis,

♫ I'm a misfit

♫ I'm a mis, I'm a mis,

♫ I'm a misfit

♫ You're a mis, you're a mis

♫ You're a misfit

♫ I'm a mis, I'm a mis,

♫ I'm a misfit

- Come on, let's go. (laughs)

Oh, it's boring.

- What is?

- (sighs) The party.

I mean, Sarah's not very good at pulling a party together.

That's why she had me in high school.

Hey, can I bum one of those?

- It's my lucky one.

- Yeah, you need it. (laughs)

This is pathetic. (laughs)

- What's pathetic, Nella?

- Oh, come on.

Fine. (laughs)

Okay, let's start with Carly.

How tight do you thing her panties are right now?

(laughing)

Well, at least she's your problem now.

- Lucky me. (laughs)

- Yeah.

You know, I never said, "Thank you."

- For what?

- For being so understanding

about the whole thing with David.

- I didn't do it for you.

- It's just funny.

It's just funny how things work out, isn't it?

It is. (laughs)

If I were you, I would feel very lucky

that I didn't have other problems to deal with, you know?

I think we should cheers.

Cheers to you not worrying about that whole baby thing

or it being my problem or anything like that.

Am I right? (laughs)

- You didn't know.

I'm so sorry... - It doesn't matter.

- What baby thing?

You murdered an unborn child?

- Whoa! - It was a miscarriage,

you dip-shit.

Keep your mouth closed, or so help me, God.

- A miscarriage due to smoking and drinking

might as well be an abortion.

(slaps soundly)

- Whoa!

Stop it!

Is that it?

Is there no more?

Please say there's no more.

- (laughs) I mean, we are both very lucky girls.

(laughs) Right?

- Hey, TJ, Sarah wants you for something.

- What?

(door slams)

(laughing)

Yes! Whoo-hoo!

Shots, that's my girl.

- You know I want one, a little something.

- Perfect.

- Mm-hmm.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

Yum. - Yummy! (laughs)

Can I ask you a question?

- Mm-hmm.

- Was I a bitch in high school.

- Oh, Nella.

- Yes?

- You totally still are.

- What?

- Yeah, (laughs) you know you love it.

- Yeah, I kinda do. (laughs)

- Okay, I have a question.

- Okay.

- What is the dealio with Brandon?

Hotty with a body. - Whoa-oh-ho-ho-ho, yes!

- Brando?

Is this like a one-night stand kind of thing

or a sizzlin' hot affair?

- It's, can I tell you, girl?

I'm gonna tell you all the details.

- Oh, yes! (Nella squeals)

Only if it's really dirty, though.

- Eight-and-a-half inches.

(laughing)

- Ho-ho-ho, wow!

- You know what I'm talkin' about? (laughs)

- I do, yeah.

- Do you know what I'm talking about?

- Yes, I know what you're talking about.

- You a virgin? (gasps)

- Nella, you know that I had...

- Oh, my gosh!

That's so freaking cute!

Oh, it's so sweet you're so innocent.

You're a virgin. (laughs)

- No.

- Yeah, you're gonna pour another one,

and let's celebrate to that.

You're a virgin, so cute.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

and because I'm just so innocent,

I think I'm gonna need a better description.

You know, more details.

- Okay, well, let me start by saying eight.

- [Both] And-a-half inches.

- Yeah. - He's amazing.

- I got it. (Nella squeals)

Mmm, mmm, the question is

what has he been doing with it?

- Oh, my God.

What has he not been doing with it.

- Wow. - I mean,

like, things I can't even describe, really. (laughs)

I get everything.

Yeah. (laughs)

- So dirty.

- I know.

- I bet even dirtier, though.

How many times?

- A day?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

A lot.

We have a lot of sex. (squeals)

He's so hot. (laughs) - Oh.

And David has no idea.

- What?

- David, he doesn't know, like...

(shot glass shatters) - Oops!

(laughing)

You're so sneaky.

This is your dirty little secret, Nell-Nell.

- Yeah. (laughs)

Oh, Jenny, you're so bad, I love it!

(laughing)

- Hey girls.

- Hi. - Hey.

- What's the gossip?

- We're talking about boys,

and I think we should invite them over.

- Uh, no.

- Ah, I can't unhear those words.

- And you guys know I'm not a virgin.

I don't know what came over me.

I just got so mad that I zeroed in for the kill.

I'm sorry.

- You don't have to apologize.

- I mean, is it so terrible that I was mad

that she didn't want me to be her bridesmaid?

- She didn't want any of us to be her bridesmaids.

Oh, come on!

Even I knew that.

You can persecute me all you want,

but Nella chose each and every one of you,

because you are just like her.

- If you're so disgusted with us, Carly,

why are you still here?

Why don't you leave?

- Guys, Carly is right.

- Oh, come on, Sarah.

- Think about it.

When has Nella truly ever wanted to be our friend

when she wasn't asking for something in exchange

or using you to make her more popular?

- Or using you to bring her grades up?

That was the only reason she came over after school.

It was our little secret.

I had a secret with Nella Kingsberry.

- I was her project.

She made sure I was on the cool side of the table

as long as I kept pot in her pocket

so she looked cool at parties.

And she used me as a wing man, ironically,

for all the guys she knew I liked.

- I did awful things with her in high school.

I wasted so much time being her partner in crime.

I said terrible things to people.

- But you're not those people anymore.

High school is over, guys, and no one wants to live

the rest of their lives being remembered like that.

Look, I know that we live in a small town

and that everywhere we look feels like

an extension of high school,

but it doesn't mean we have to let it be that way.

So who's with me?

Who wants to come with me and help bring down

the infamous Nella Kingsberry?

- I'll go.

It should be me.

- Right, let's go then, Sarah.

We won't be long.

(door shuts)

- Don't pretend that this isn't giving you

some sort of a thrill.

- What are you talking about?

- You have been waiting for this day

since my brother and Nella started going out.

- I'm sick of listening to you.

- Why don't you go by Tammy Jane anymore?

- Do not call me that.

- Why, Tammy?

- I swear to God, Carly.

You stole my brother's relationship with God.

- (laughs) No, I didn't.

- And then you murdered his unborn child.

- I did not have an abortion, Carly.

- That's why he left you, isn't it?

- Shut up!

- You had to have known that David would never end up

with trailer trash like you.

Fuck

you.

- TJ, can I talk to you?

- Why am I here?

Why did I agree to be a bridesmaid?

It's because I'm a fucking masochist, that's why.

Fucking masochist.

- Teej?

David is coming over here.

Carly called him and told him to come join the party.

- When you gonna talk to her?

- I don't know.

Like when we get there or find her or whatever.

- I mean TJ.

- TJ, I, I don't.

What are you trying to pull, Sarah?

I'm, it's too late.

I can't do that now.

- No, it's not.

- Yeah, it is.

I mean, she's still clearly in love with David,

aka my best friend.

Besides, I don't think,

I'm not the kind of guy she needs anyways.

- You already have been, Drew.

Listen, she and David are over.

No matter what happens with Nella and David,

TJ and David were always going to be over at some point,

like so over.

Just give her a little bit of time,

but don't give up on her.

- I have given her time.

I've given her time and energy,

and I've given her a shoulder to cry on.

I mean, I feel like all I've done

is talk her through about seven years of David.

I feel like that's enough time.

- But you haven't asked her out.

- So how did the night end after that?

- Whoo!

- Stay. - Okay.

- You're making me spill, you guys.

Okay.

(gasps) Carly's turn.

- No, I'm not playing. - Go, Carly.

- Pick a card, Carly.

Pick a card.

- Five.

- Five, okay.

Five.

We are going to try to touch our noses with our fingers,

and whoever doesn't do it loses, okay?

- (laughs) What? - On the count of three.

(laughs) Ready?

One, two, three!

- [Carly] Nella, you lose.

- Did I miss it?

- Oh, take a drink, Nella! (laughs)

- Uh, whatever. - Take a drink, take a drink,

take a drink.

- Cheersies.

- Cheers!

I'll drink with you. (laughs) - Mmm.

- Mmm, yum.

- This is pretty strong. (laughs)

- Okay, TJ's turn.

- What's ace?

- Ooh, never have I ever!

Everybody put three fingers in the air.

- [Carly] No.

- Yes, this is the fun part!

- [Carly] No.

- So, we start with TJ, and we each have to say something

that we have not done, okay?

And if anyone's done it, they lose a finger.

- Drink that water, Nella.

- Oh.

- Never have I ever... - This gonna be kind of hard

for us, right, Sarah?

(laughs) Because of all of our behavior in high school.

- Okay.

- Do you remember?

- Okay, keep goin', TJ.

- Never have I ever... - (gasps) Oh, my gosh!

Do you remember our game with Coach Anderson?

- Okay, high school memory time is over.

- Never have I ever...

- Carly, can I ask you a question?

Have you lost weight?

You look really good.

- Thank you, Nella.

Yeah, I lost a couple of sizes over the summer.

You're a size five, right?

- Enough, Nella.

- I wear size five, Sarah.

- [Carly] You do?

- I do, mm-hmm, when I wanna wear something

really, really, really, really, really baggy,

like during my lady time.

- Yeah. (laughs)

Yeah, mine are a little baggy, too.

- So, yeah, if you lose a couple more pounds,

then we could share clothes, right?

- Yeah. (laughing)

- [Sarah] Never have I ever, TJ.

What have you never done?

- [TJ Voiceover] There are moments in life

when you see your mortal enemy struggling,

and the sick satisfaction washes over you.

Then there are moments you find yourself invited

to participate in the infliction.

I'd like to say I chose the higher road, and when I'm old,

I can look back, pleased with myself,

but sometimes that's just not the human response.

Never have I ever puked up my food on purpose.

(laughing)

- Yeah, that was a good one.

- Hey, that's me.

- Oh, yeah, I forgot.

You went through that phase.

- Yeah, it was so stupid.

I had this friend that made... I thought that was Carly.

- Jenny, it's your turn.

- (clears throat) Okay.

Never have I ever... (laughs)

No, I totally did that. - You did not!

You did not!

(laughing)

- Okay, okay.

Never have I ever

kissed a girl.

- Ew!

- (gasps) Really? - What?

- [Carly] What?

- I was trying to tell you.

I had this friend fall semester that I did, you know.

(laughs)

You know.

- I'm getting out of here.

- Oh, no. - Excuse me.

- It's your turn.

- No, no, no. I am gonna go.

- Nella, you can't leave yet. - Where my purse, guys?

- Yeah, you have to stay until you play,

and it's your turn.

- [Nella] I'm leaving.

It's late.

I have to go.

- It's

your

turn.

- Fine, um,

never have I ever been to New York.

There you go!

- [Jenny] Boo!

That doesn't count.

- Oh! - Again!

- I don't know.

Okay.

Never have I ever done my own homework.

- (laughs) Try again.

- I'm all out of ideas, okay?

I don't know.

- Hmm, here I'll help you, okay?

Never have I ever cheated on my fiance.

- (laughs) Really?

Never have I ever cheated on my fiance.

Where's my purse?

- Hey, cut the shit!

We know.

- [Nella] Could you be a little more specific?

I don't know what you're talking about.

- You know damn well what we're talking about.

- Mmm...

Oh, you know what?

Actually, my ride is almost here,

so I need my purse now!

- Wait, what ride?

I thought I was your ride.

Why am I sober right now?

- I didn't want to ruin your fun, so I got a car.

- I

am

Sober.

I can drive.

- Nella, look at me.

- No!

You're just gonna look at me with your emotastic eyes, okay?

Let me tell you, that look?

It's over.

It's over, just like your relationship with my fiance.

- You know what else is over, Nella?

High school.

- Good one.

Awesome.

Ten points.

Did they teach you those comebacks at Stanford?

- You're dodging the subject, Nella.

Why are you cheating on David?

After everything, why?

- You know, TJ, I am so sick of your past trauma

being a warrant for you to police everyone's behavior.

I'm sick of it.

- Nella, stop it.

- That's not the point.

This isn't about me.

- Of course this is about you.

Let me ask you, TJ,

what is it that you think is gonna happen?

Do you think that he's gonna come crawling back to you,

that he's gonna realize what a witch I am,

that you guys are gonna live happily ever after

and that you're gonna talk about

how he almost married that whore, Nella?

- Nella, this is cruel.

Stop it!

- There you are, little savior, Sarah.

- Don't look at me and tell me

that high school's over, okay?

So what if I'm cheating on him?

He's my fiance, and it's our relationship.

It's none of your business.

- We'll call David.

If you walk out that door, we are calling David.

- Well, that sounds like a mistake.

- (sighs) Why?

- You wanna find out, Jen?

Go ahead. (laughs)

You clearly have no idea who I am

and what I'm capable of!

Now where's my purse?

- Jenny.

- [Nella] Thank you.

(purse thuds)

You stupid bitch.

(knocking at door)

- Oh, look.

Brandon's here.

Is he your ride?

- Hey, ladies.

Looks like somebody's been havin' some fun.

Wish I coulda joined ya.

- He smells like weed.

- It looks like it's time for me to get some shut-eye.

Big day tomorrow, so see you guys!

- What was that for?

- To make you the hero, I guess.

- Night, ladies.

- Night, ladies.

I la-la all of you.

- I la-la you, too!

- Well, what're we gonna do?

- I know you're all gonna make fun of me,

but in times like these,

we can always turn to the power of prayer.

- And then we called you.

- So that's it.

- Well, I did have a conversation

with a drunken TJ about you.

- What?

Really?

- That was interesting.

- Wait, what did she say?

- None of you damn business.

- Seriously?

- Well, it's not.

- Well, you just made it my business.

(laughs)

- What are we gonna tell him?

- We...

We...

Oh, we can't let him come here.

We have to stop him.

Damn it!

- This is all my fault.

I shouldn't have let her go,

and now David is gonna get really hurt by this...

- Stop saying this is your fault, Jenny!

Nella planned it this way.

I'm sorry.

I know how you feel, okay?

- Maybe Carly's right.

Maybe we are all like Nella in some sick way.

I mean, seriously, though,

I did like seeing her make Carly uncomfortable tonight,

the same way that I pushed Nella

to confess that she cheated.

- That doesn't make us like her.

That makes us human.

- Well, I hate it.

Teej,

for what it's worth,

I think you would've made a really good Mom.

- Thanks, Jenny.

(sighs deeply)

We gotta tell him.

- Yeah.

- What're you doin'?

- None of your business.

- I'm gonna go make a phone call.

(knocking at door)

- Oh, shit.

- Surprise!

Party's here.

Oh, I'm, am I interrupting girl time?

They told me I was okay to come over.

I'm sorry.

Guys, what is goin' on here?

Is everything okay?

Where's Nella?

- [Drew] (groans) Ah, shit!

- [Sarah] Drew, be careful!

- [Drew] (breathing heavily) We're in.

(light clicks on)

- Well, she's not sleeping. (phone dialing)

- [Nella Voice Message] Hey, sorry I missed your call.

Not really.

Leave a message, and maybe I'll...

- Still not answering.

- Have you tried texting her?

- You try.

- Pick up your damn-ass phone!

- I like the sort of shrine she built for herself.

- Yeah, there's not even a picture of David.

- It's sad, really.

- I'm getting my beauty sleep.

That's funny, because I'm standing in your room.

Get your ass over here!

Why is she like this?

- She's always been like this.

- (sighs) What's the matter with me?

- Do you wanna talk about it?

(slaps leg)

(screams loudly)

(decorations ripping) (loud grunts)

(whacking table) (loud grunts)

Ugh!

Brandon Scott?

- David.

- Are you kidding me?

Isn't he a drug dealer or something?

- I think this is just like in the Bible

when they talk about being unequally yoked.

Maybe this...

- Stop talking!

- Well, I mean someone has to speak the truth.

I hate to be the one to say it.

- Well, then don't say it.

- Well, David, I'm worried about you.

Are you gonna be okay?

- No. - You can talk to me.

- No, Carly, no, I'm not going to be okay.

I just found out that my wife-to-be is cheating on me.

- Okay, well, would you feel better talking about it

if TJ wasn't here?

(door slams)

- What is wrong with you?

- [David] Tammy Jane.

- [TJ] Stay away from me.

- [David] Tammy Jane.

- [TJ] Stay away from me!

- Hey, hey, hey, Tammy, please?

- Freak!

- Hey, hey, hey, can you please not hit me?

Can we just talk?

- Why'd you leave me?

- (sighs) Oh, come on, Tammy.

You know why.

- Oh, 'cause you're so stupid!

- Please, I'm sorry.

You know I didn't mean it like that.

- You were afraid, admit it,

so you chose the easy way out.

- Yes, yes, of course I was scared.

I was being plunged into a life I hadn't decided

I even wanted yet.

- I didn't get to decide.

It was chosen for me, and you just got to run.

- Yes, it was exactly like that.

You know, (sighs)

everything I tried to give you, everything,

you shot back in my face.

You don't think I was hurt by you, too, Tammy?

I loved you.

- (breathes heavily) I didn't mean to.

- I know.

I know, Tammy.

We never meant to, but that's what we did.

We didn't fall apart because of what happened.

We fell apart, because we couldn't be

what each other needed.

- (breathes heavily) And Nella?

Is that what you need?

How's that workin' out for you, David?

- People make mistakes.

- [TJ] Hmm, still takin' the easy way out, I see.

- You know? (sighs)

That's not fair.

- What's not fair is being abandoned and pregnant.

- [David] It wasn't like that.

- Spoken like a true cheater.

- I never cheated on you, Tammy.

- Well, you might as well have.

Ha!

What makes her so special?

Please tell me.

How long was it before she had a ring on her finger?

Six

months.

Six months.

What could she give you in six months

that I couldn't give you in seven years?

(sighs)

- Look, I don't have an answer

that's gonna make you happy, Tammy Jane.

I didn't make the right choices with you,

and I am sorry.

And I don't know what it was with Nella

that made anything different.

I don't know.

It just did.

I don't wish anything but happiness for you,

but I can't be that for you,

and I think you know that.

- I don't wish anything but happiness for you either, David,

but not by taking the easy way out.

That happiness, it doesn't last.

- You don't know that.

- So what now?

Are you gonna marry her tomorrow?

(David sighs)

(phone buzzes)

- It's Drew.

- Don't answer it.

Don't.

- [David] Yo.

Yeah, yeah, I'm at the hotel. (retreating footsteps)

No.

No, they told me.

Yeah, fine, I'm, I'm comin'.

(unintelligible whisper)

(sighs deeply)

- (laughs) Stop it.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

(laughs)

Okay? (laughs)

Okay, I'm going, but you're coming with me.

- Oh, fuck.

Those fuckers, they're here.

- Be nice.

- [TJ Voiceover] Sarah wasn't always a good person.

It took her a long time to get there.

Something did change for her that night, though.

The last bit of fear Nella had been hanging over her head,

Sarah wrapped it up and got rid of it for the last time.

I think we all knew this was the end

of our friendship with Nella for good.

- Oh, hello my fair lesbian friend.

- Shut the fuck up.

Hey!

You!

Oatmeal cookie boy.

- Okay, kitten.

- No!

I hope you're really happy one day.

- All right.

- Okay, I hope that someday you are a very happy person

so you can fully understand all the unhappiness

you caused a lot of people.

- Look, I'm not the one that seduced her, all right?

- What does that matter?

She's getting married.

- Yeah, well, maybe her husband

should keep a closer eye on her.

- That was rude.

- David's coming.

- What?

Wait, you called David?

You called David over a little bit

of the wedding-day jitters?

- You call this jitters?

Fucking the bartender the night before your wedding?

This is far beyond jitters, Nella,

and I'm not sure I'll ever understand exactly

what it is with you.

- That's because you don't know how to let your hair down

and have some fun.

- Stop it with these games.

This isn't fun.

- The old Sarah would have asked me,

does he have a brother?

Oh, please.

It was good to just not jump on board.

You were always the last one to cave,

the last one to join in on the games,

and the last one to lose your virginity. (laughs)

- Gross.

- You know what?

You're always the first person to thank me

for pushing you over the edge,

for making you feel alive, okay, so lighten up,

because I don't like the stick up your ass.

- I'm not proud of my past, Nella.

I'm not proud of that shit.

It haunts me.

We were bad people.

- Oh, wait.

What you're telling me is that you were having

the best time being sober tonight?

No.

See, what I think, (laughs)

I think that you were just afraid that the old Sarah

was gonna come out and that she's gonna make

really bad decisions.

But you know what?

I miss that old Sarah.

- Stop it.

- No, I'm not gonna stop it.

It wasn't fun making fun of Carly all by myself.

Let's not forget who started that joke in the first place.

- Leave her alone.

She has real problems, and it's my fault.

- Oh, really?

So, so it's not my fault that she has scars on her wrists?

Listen, I don't think that I'm the bad guy here.

I don't think so.

- Grow up.

I am done.

- Oh, you're done?

What do you mean you're done?

No, you left, okay?

And apparently you cut me out of your college life,

so no, you don't get to come back here

and act like everyone forgot who you were.

No one believes your little act, Sarah,

so just give it up.

- People grow up, Nella,

and fine, if this is the way you want it to be,

then I'll be there tomorrow,

but it won't be for you.

- Okay.

- After the wedding, I'm gone,

and I never wanna see you again.

- Sarah, come on, you don't,

you don't mean that.

- Good-bye, Nella.

- What?

- So yeah, I'll just leave the door unlocked.

Do you have your keys.

Oh, there they are.

Cool.

Drink some water.

- Bye.

Whatever.

- What are you doing?

- Writing down a list of Bible verses to give to David.

- (laughs) How about it is better

to dwell in the wilderness

than with a contentious and angry woman.

- How about do not be deceived.

Bad company corrupts good morals.

- Yeah, that one fits Nella, too.

- Nella may not be the Proverbs 31 wife,

but at least my brother has hope for her,

and she goes to church with him.

- Oh, just like you had hope for TJ?

- Do not associate with a so-called brother

if he is an immoral person or covetous

or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard,

not even to eat with such a one.

- Do not point out the speck in your brother's eye

before removing the log in your own.

- Be aware of false prophets who come to you

dressed in sheep's clothing but inwardly

are ravenous wolves.

- If any man thinks he is religious and does not bridle

his tongue but deceives in his heart,

this person's religion is worthless.

- Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor,

him I will destroy.

Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart,

I shall not endure.

Four years of high school youth group,

two years of Awana, one year of YWAM.

- Ha!

Four years of Awana, four years of high school youth group,

two years of youth group counseling,

plus one year in the Peace Corps.

- You were a youth group counselor for two years?

- Well, one and a half.

You know what, Carly?

If you weren't so busy making sure everyone else

is following your book of religious rules,

you might actually like a person or two.

- I do not do that.

- You do.

Why don't we take a look at that little book of yours...

- No! No, no.

Give that back to me! - Give it here.

- No, I wanna see.

These aren't Bible verses.

Carly, what is this?

- I keep track of things.

I just, I need to keep track

so that I stay on track.

- Carly, this is crazy.

When I was 13, I was in love with this boy,

Jimmy Stratton.

He was in my math class.

And he would always chew gum,

so I made sure to always have gum on me

just in case he would ask.

One day he finally asked,

and I was elated.

It finally gave me permission to talk to him.

And it turns out he liked me too.

So, to make a long story short...

- It's too late.

- To make a long story short,

we dated.

He even held my hand during math class. (laughs)

Then a week later,

he found someone else to give him gum,

and I was devastated.

I cried every day for, like, weeks.

I thought maybe it was because I wasn't pretty

or I wasn't blonde or because I wasn't smart.

And finally, my mom sat me down, and she said,

"Jenny, you have two choices to make in every situation.

"You can laugh, or you can cry.

"And neither one is the wrong choice,

"but the choice you make will define you."

- What if you don't know what to do?

- I think you do know what to do.

You just need to be brave enough to let yourself be honest

with your feelings, you know?

- Yeah.

(laughing)

(crying)

("Into the Sun" by The Battlefield)

♫ I fantasized this love with you

♫ And not a drop of it is true

♫ It pours inside my weary heart

(screaming excitedly)

- Whoo! Your turn!

How's that tasting? - It's good.

(screaming excitedly)

♫ We're living a life of quiet desperation

♫ Holding on to reach into the sun

♫ Is there something in this mess that is worth saving

- Two, three, blow it up!

(party favors popping)

(screams excitedly)

- Oh! - Oh!

- Two!

♫ Ooh

♫ Ooh

(car pulls up)

- Hey there, sexy lady.

How much for your body?

- More than you can afford.

- I only need five minutes.

- Where's Drew?

- With David, doing his groomsmanly duty.

Get in.

I feel like you have some drama I need to hear about.

While you're talking,

I'm going to buy us the greasiest breakfast I can find.

- Hmm, nothing has sounded better.

- So I take it David graced you with his presence?

- Yeah.

(sighs) You know,

I don't even think I love him anymore.

I just don't want him to love someone else.

Is that selfish?

- Considering the circumstances, no.

(laughing)

David is no saint in this, you know?

- So is there gonna be a wedding?

- No idea.

But if there is, I plan on developing

a healthy food baby for pictures.

- Proposed to her right there.

I was gonna go over to her place.

I was gonna tell her what a terrible person she is,

and I was gonna break up with her. (laughs)

- So what's stopping you?

- Is it terrible that I still wanna marry her?

- Well, I don't know if terrible's the right word.

Weird, confusing, gross, those...

Yeah, terrible.

Terrible's good.

- Knock it off, man, all right?

You don't know how this feels.

- I don't know how this feels?

Well, enlighten me, David.

How does it feel?

How does it feel to be you?

Because I would have given my left arm

to have some of the opportunities that you had

in high school, okay?

And I'm not just gonna sit by

and watch you do this to yourself again.

I mean, how could you wanna be with somebody

who treats you like this?

I'm sorry, I just...

I've stood by you

when you made some pretty dumb decisions in the past.

Please don't make me do it again.

- I funked up everything with Tammy, okay?

It's like I've been trying so hard not to mess this one up

that I can't help but feel now like this is my fault.

I picked up extra shifts so that she wouldn't have to work.

I just wanted to be the one to take care of her

and make her happy.

I mean, I even let her win all of our arguments.

- You...

Sorry, you let her win all the arguments?

(chuckles)

(laughing)

- (sighs) Sounds so stupid now.

- Well, what did she ever do for you?

- What do you mean?

- I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but relationships

are supposed to be a two-way street, aren't they?

I mean, you sure gave her a lot.

What did she ever give you?

(sighs)

David, I'll stand up there tomorrow, okay?

I'll turn every single person away at the gate,

and I'll make sure that they know what a good guy David is

as they leave.

You just give me the go-ahead,

and that's where I'll be for you.

I hear Mexico is nice this time of year.

- No.

I don't want that.

(sighs) Leavin' Nella at the altar's

not gonna make me a good guy, all right?

I gave her my word, and I'm gonna follow through this time.

- Well, then,

I will be up there with you at the altar.

I just might need a flask in my pocket

to get me through the day.

- Fair enough.

You got one for me, too, right?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- (sighs) Let's hit it.

- You look awesome.

(laughs)

I mean it, really cool.

- [Carly] Never...

- Mm-hmm, keep going.

- [Carly] Never have I ever...

- Mm-hmm, get to it.

- [Carly] Never have I ever been drunk.

- Ah, not anymore.

- [Carly] Drink.

I drink.

- I'm sorry, should we leave?

- Oh, hi.

We're playing The King's Cup,

and we're doing make-up, halfsies style.

(laughing)

So this half, right here, this is a drag queen,

and then this half right here is...

It's 80s.

- And this half is Dothraki princess.

This half David Bowie.

- Yeah. - I see.

- Lightening.

- My lip liner is also my eyeliner.

(laughing)

Teej!

I was so worried about you.

You just left.

- How are you guys still alive?

- Oh, God.

Carly?

They got us Becca's.

- [Carly] That sounds so nice.

- It's okay, I got extra.

- TJ, do you...

Do you wanna share my hash brown with me?

You can sit right here, right there,

right on this couch,

just right there right next to me.

- We got a nugget.

- It's kind of a moon.

This is so good.

Thanks, guys.

(phone buzzing)

- It's Drew.

- Hi, Drew.

- Hey.

- [TJ] What's happening?

- We're at the wedding.

- Who's wedding?

- I'll give you three guesses.

Okay, fine.

I hope you girls didn't skip town already.

- Seriously?

I really hope you're joking.

- No, actually. (clears throat)

I don't joke about natural disasters.

It's kind of a line I draw.

- So you're saying I have to wear a dress today?

- Uh, yeah. - Why is everybody mad?

Can't we all just get along?

- And, yeah, Nella'll be there soon to pick you guys up.

- What?

Why?

- [Drew] So...

- Well don't expect me to look pretty.

- You always look pretty, TJ.

- Text me the address.

- Just save me a dance for later.

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

(laughs)

- [Drew] Okay. (clears throat)

Yeah, I will,

will send you that text.

- Okay.

- Yes!

Whoo!

(sighs anxiously)

Oh, God.

(knocks on glass)

- [David] What in heck got into you?

- Oh, hey.

It's the dentist.

I'll be right in.

- What did he say?

- He likes her.

- He's got like a fast crush on you.

- All right.

Let's just get this day over with.

Nella's coming.

- Okay, Carly, if your dream guy is a motor vehicle,

what kind of car would he be, and where are you driving?

- Hot, hot red Mustang.

He is sweeping us across the coastline

to find the prettiest beach,

prettiest beach that you ever did see.

And when we get there, we are gonna do it.

(laughing)

- I think I like her better drunk.

- You guys, Carly is so horny!

Okay, Jenny, your turn.

- A yellow bug.

One that turns on my favorite music station

right when I'm about to get in

with my clicker key,

and I don't know where we're going,

but it's somewhere exotic,

and it's the middle of the night.

- You're high maintenance.

- (laughs) I know what I want.

- What about you?

What kind of your car would your boy or girl be?

- Oh, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

My car can fly, bitches, and we're goin' to the moon.

(laughing)

You're not getting out of this Teej.

- At this point, a nice, sturdy, reliable Jeep

would do me just fine.

Four-wheel drive, obviously, and we would be driving

deep into the forest to a cabin only we know about.

- Also horny!

- Always!

(knocking at door)

- Nose, girls.

(knocking at door)

- Hey, guys!

Hey!

Okay, don't all get excited at once.

Okay, so no one's gonna talk today.

I'm getting married, hello?

Yay!

- What would you want us to say?

- What do you mean?

- If we were to say something, what would we say?

Congratulations?

We're so happy for you two.

You were meant to be.

- Yeah, any one of those is fine.

- I cannot believe you're going through with this.

- You know what, TJ?

I actually told you, it's none of your business,

and I'm getting very sick and tired of you.

I am not going to feel bad for your feelings today.

It's my wedding day, okay, guys?

- This is not about my feelings.

This is about you marrying someone you don't even love,

someone, who for God knows what reason, loves you.

I don't understand what fun you're getting out of this.

- Do you want out of this wedding?

Because you can go.

- No.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

- Great.

Awesome.

Are we done now here?

Shows over?

Can we finish getting ready?

Because I'm tired. (sighs)

My hair looks crazy.

Oh, sorry. (sighs)

- Hey, dude.

How many times you gonna re-tie a tie?

- Till I'm done.

- Right.

Look, man.

The keys are in my right pocket, okay?

I got a full tank of gas for ya.

It's not too late to just call this thing off.

- I'm not doin' that, man.

- Okay, fine.

It's your funeral.

- Okay.

You know what?

I'm gonna go to my bridal room,

and please look out for David,

because I can't have him see me.

If he sees me, I'm gonna flip my shit, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

- Okay, good.

I'm gonna go puke.

- (laughs) What's her problem?

- Okay, you drink.

- Oh, honey, you look so handsome.

- Sorry.

- Oh, hello, Ms. David.

- Hello, sweetheart.

Would you pick that up for him?

- Yeah, sure. - Yes.

- Mr. Clumsy.

- I know.

Well, he never could tie his tie.

- Yeah, he's inept.

- Honey, you have to button your button.

That's the problem.

Now, yeah, you button this up. - Yeah, right.

- It's going to be,

darling, it'll be fine. - Hey guys, what's up?

You guys are lookin' sharp.

(laughs) - Oh, thank you, yeah.

- So let's get some good pictures,

so just remember, you know, happy day.

- Happy day.

- Lots of energy, lots of smiles, right?

- Cool.

- Actually, best man, could I get you to help him

with his tie real quick?

- Yeah, sure.

I might lose a finger, but whatever.

(laughs)

Yeah, you're gonna remember this day forever, buddy, huh?

- Smile, sweetheart, smile. - I got it.

- This guy's great at smiles. - Come on Drew.

Yeah, there we go. - I just saw your bride.

She looks amazing.

(shutter clicking)

- Could you,

give me a little,

give me a little...

Would you just back the fuck off?

- [Photographer] Whoa!

- Get the fuck out!

- Hey, sorry, just...

- Okay, no problem.

- Honey, is everything okay?

- Mom, (snaps fingers) out!

- Oh, okay, honey.

Well, I'll be out here if you need anything.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- No, no, it's okay.

It's all right.

- Thank you, Ms. David.

(David sighs)

- Hey, listen.

This wedding is your call right now, okay?

If you wanna go back, Mexico is a 12-hour drive,

but in about 45 minutes,

that's no longer gonna be an option,

so what'll it be?

- I'm not gonna do that, okay?

(David sighs) - Okay, fine.

The photographer wasn't the one screwing your bride, so...

And who talks to their mother that way, man?

Seriously.

Get it together.

(David sighs)

Oh!

Congratulations.

I guess I should say that.

- Thanks, man.

Guess you really are the best man.

(sighs deeply)

You ask TJ out yet?

- What, do I have a sign on my forehead?

- Yeah.

Yeah, you do.

- (exhales deeply) You got this, Drew.

- Okay, guys.

We need to rally.

We never have to come back to this moment again,

so let's just power through.

- To fucked-up relationships.

- [All] Here here!

("Oh No" by The Accidentals)

♫ Oh no, oh no

♫ It seems that I disappeared

♫ Off the face of the earth

♫ Oh no, oh no

♫ All of my fears are being confirmed

♫ And boy, does it hurt

♫ Oh no

♫ Oh no

♫ Oh no

♫ Oh no

♫ I'm startin' to feel neglected

♫ I'm startin' to feel distraught

♫ I'm startin' to feel infected

♫ From all of this fever I've got

♫ Oh no, oh no

♫ Oh no, oh no

♫ Oh no, oh no

♫ I don't wanna complain

- Please be seated.

Welcome, everyone

to the wedding of David and Nella.

I know that they are excited that each of you are here,

as friends of theirs,

to witness the most important day of their life,

and I know they thank you, each of you.

In a moment, we are going to say a few words

that will begin a lifetime of wedded bliss.

We'll get started without further ado.

- [TJ Voiceover] When you're a kid,

your parents have to teach you to say I'm sorry

and I forgive you, because it's a part of growing up.

- Is the promise between ♫ When I was a girl

two people who love each other

♫ My mother, she told me

♫ Child, if you're good,

♫ You can be anything

♫ That you wanna be

♫ Now I'm grown and I know

♫ It's a lie

♫ It's a lie

♫ It's a lie

- [Officiator] This ceremony will not create

a relationship...

- [TJ Voiceover] Most the time as a kid,

you don't wanna forgive someone,

because it's easy to believe someone

doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

- [Officiator] That relationship began

when you met each other in high school,

and that relationship has now blossomed

to the point that you're willing to commit

to spending the rest of your lives together.

No matter what challenges you face in the future, you'll...

♫ When I was a girl

- It isn't until ♫ My mother

you truly forgive someone

that you then understand. ♫ She told me

It's not about excusing

their bad behavior. ♫ Child, if your good

It's just giving yourself ♫ You can be

permission to let go. ♫ Anything

- Anyone here ♫ That you wanna be

should know of any reason

♫ Now I'm grown and I know

why these two would not be wedded today,

♫ It's a lie speak now

♫ It's a lie, it's a lie or forever hold your peace.

("Forget" by Stokeswood)

♫ Well you try to shed a light on all this information

♫ And you still can the see the right despite your situation

♫ But you're wasting all your time

♫ You're wasting all your time

♫ And you're wilting in your prime

♫ And you just don't seem to mind

♫ Please

♫ Go on and stop me if my tongue's too rough

♫ And interrupt me if I talk too much

♫ I never wanted that for us

♫ These

♫ Cries ricochet off of our empty walls

♫ Just simple matters that we can't resolve

♫ They made a mockery of us all

♫ Oh

♫ Ooh

♫ Oh

♫ Well you try to shed a light on all this information

♫ And you still can the see the right despite your situation

♫ But you're wasting all your time

♫ You're wasting all your time

♫ And you're wilting in your prime

♫ And you just don't seem to mind

♫ Please

♫ Go on and stop me if my tongue's too rough

♫ And interrupt me if I talk too much

♫ I never wanted that for us

♫ These

♫ Cries ricochet off our empty walls

♫ Just simple matters that we can't resolve

♫ They made a mockery of us all

♫ Oh-oh-oh

♫ Oh-oh-oh

♫ Oh-oh-oh

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Please

♫ Go on and stop me if my tongue's too rough

♫ And interrupt me if I talk too much

♫ I never wanted that for us

♫ These

♫ Cries ricochet off our empty walls

♫ Just simple matters that we can't resolve

♫ They made a mockery of us all

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Learn to live

♫ Forget where you come from

♫ Live again