Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- Hey, my name is Jaden Marcos.

I'm single and I'm ready for my next relationship.

Instead of doing the same old thing,

downloading the same old apps

and dealing with the same old heartbreak,

I'm gonna be doing something different today.

I'm gonna be going out on blind dates

with the moms of girls that I could date.

And if the vibe is right,

well, I'll agree to date the mom's daughter

right there on the spot without ever even meeting the girl.

But if it's not,

then I'll be on my way to the next mom on Date My Milf.

(upbeat music)

- Hi, my name is Christine.

Today, I'm going on a blind date for my daughter, Rachel.

Rachel deserves the very best.

Somebody who's as competitive and level-headed as she is.

With a good heart, of course.

He better be a looker, too,

because my daughter is drop-dead gorgeous.

So I guess it's up to me to see if this guy

is good enough to be with my daughter.

- Knock, knock, Christine?

In here.

Hello, hello.

- Hello.

- Are you my date today?

- Yes, I am.

- Well, lucky me.

Can I have a hug?

- Of course.

- All right, you have a seat here.

- All right.

- All right.

My daughter and I are always playing card games together.

And if you want to date her,

then you're gonna have to learn a few of our favorites.

- Card games?

It's not the most exciting date,

but I don't see how it goes.

- Sounds good.

Why don't you lead the way?

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

- If this girl looks anything like her mom,

I got nothing to worry about.

(upbeat music continues)

- You got it.

- Are you thirsty?

- What?

- Are you thirsty?

I'm gonna get a drink.

Do you want one?

- Yeah, please, if you don't mind.

- Sparkling water's okay?

- Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

(footsteps)

- What?

You're cleaning up the cards.

- (laughs) Look, we both know

you were gonna win that one, all right?

So I'll take loss.

I'll, uh...

- So maybe we should play a different game?

- Yeah, how about we play something

where you don't have so much of a home field advantage?

Do you have any poker chips?

- Oh, we do, but we just lent them to the neighbor

and we haven't received those back yet.

- Oh, that's a real bummer.

Guess we're gonna have to play some strip poker.

- Oh, spicy.

Deal me in.

- Wait, shit, are you serious?

I was just kidding, but...

No, I'm down, let's do this.

- Well, I mean, obviously we're gonna keep our underwear on.

- Of course, of course.

- The more I have to report back to Rachel, the better.

- Makes sense to me.

Now this is more like it.

All right, do you need to trade out any cards?

- No, you gave me a great hand.

- Confident, I like it, all right.

I bid one piece of clothing.

- I'll raise you four.

- Four?

(laughs)

All right, well, I can't be that deep

in the hole this early on, so I fold.

What'd you have?

- I don't have to tell you, you folded.

- Really?

Okay, little Miss Blubber, I see you.

Oh, God, all right.

- Ready?

- Let's see what you got.

- Hmm.

- Hmm, I bid you one piece of clothing.

- Well, I raise you to three.

- No way, are you trying to impress me?

- I'm just trying to see how far you're willing

to take this whole Bluff game.

- Hmm, all right.

What do you have?

- Well, two pair, ace high.

- All right, shoes and socks?

- Let's see it happen.

(laughs)

, hmm.

Is this what you wanted to see?

- Hmm?

- Oh, yeah, now we're talking.

- No, sorry, I'm not here on a date for me,

it's, I'm here on a date for my daughter.

- Right, right.

- Maybe we can just deal the next hand?

- Yeah, yeah.

All right, how many pieces of clothing do you have left?

- Hmm, three.

- Three?

- My skirt, my top and my earrings.

- Your earrings, come on.

- They count.

- Those don't count.

No, come on, those don't count.

- Come on, okay.

- All right, let's see.

- You know what, let's start out simple on this one.

I'll bid one piece of clothing.

- Hmm, all right.

- I'm gonna raise you to two.

Oh, but wait, that would put you all in, wouldn't it?

- Yes.

All right, all in.

I'll do it.

- What you got?

- I have a pair of kings.

- You went all in on a pair of kings?

(laughs)

- I'm just hoping it's better than what you have.

- You live life dangerously, girl.

- Hmm.

- Full house.

- Oh.

All right, then.

- Fine.

(laughs)

- What's wrong?

Oh, I'm poking out here.

Oh, no.

- There you go.

- But I wanna play one more round.

- I'm willing to wager my bra on this one.

- Oh, you're on.

- Your deal.

All right.

I'm bidding one piece of clothing.

- Well, since you're going all in, so will I.

What you got?

- You show me first.

- Two pairs.

King high.

You have nothing.

(laughs)

All right.

- You know what has to happen.

- Mm-hmm.

Let me take this off.

Hmm.

- God.

You're gorgeous.

- Don't lie to me.

- No, I'm serious.

I wish I was on a date with you right now.

- (scoffs)

I mean,

you are

on a date with me right now.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

- And what does that include?

- (laughs)

Well, it seems.

Why don't you stand up?

, Okay.

(kissing)

Fuck.

(kissing)

Damn.

(kissing)

Mm-hmm.

Oh, damn.

(kissing)

Wow.

Hiding this from me, huh?

- Mm-hmm.

- Mm.

(kissing)

Shit.

(kissing)

(kissing)

(moans)

(moans)

Goddamn.

(moans)

(kissing)

(moans)

(kissing)

Oh, God.

(mumbles)

Oh, fuck.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

That's it, yeah.

(moans)

Fuck, yeah.

Mm.

Shit, that's it.

Mm.

(gasps)

(moans)

Here we go.

That's what I needed.

(sighs)

Oh, yes.

Mm.

Oh, yes, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Shit, that feels so damn good.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

(laughs)

Mm, that's it.

God, that feels so good.

Mm.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh.

Yes.

Fuck, yeah.

Oh, that's good, baby.

Just take your time right there

and let me ride your face.

Yes.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit, that's it.

Mm-hmm.

That's great.

Oh, baby.

Mm.

(gasps)

(moans)

That's good.

(moans)

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Fuck, goddamn, your leg's clever.

(laughs)

Oh, that's it, baby.

Mm, that's it.

Yes, yes, yes.

Mm.

That's it.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit.

That's it, baby.

Fuck, yeah.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

That's it.

Oh.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Fuck, you know how to use that tongue.

Show me how you use that dick.

Mm, yeah.

Mm, yeah.

(moans)

Here we go.

Mm, fuck, yes, that's it, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Oh, that's good.

(moans)

Fuck, yeah.

Mm, no, no, no, don't fucking tease me with it.

I want it.

(laughs)

Mm.

Shit.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Here we go.

Mm, I want to see it.

I want to watch as you fuck my pussy.

Uh-huh.

Mm.

That's it, baby.

Oh.

Fuck, yes, yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Fuck, yeah, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

(moans)

Oh, yeah.

That's it, that's it, that's it, that's it.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Fuck, yes.

That's it.

Mm.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, yeah, but it's still over here.

I want to put my foot on it.

Mm-hmm.

Just like that.

Mm-hmm.

Just like that.

Mm, come down here.

Yes.

Just like that.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Shit, yeah.

Fuck, yes.

That's it, mm-hmm.

There we go.

Just like that.

Mm-hmm.

That's it.

Just like that right there, my fucking pussy, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Just like that.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Goddamn.

Oh, shit, yes.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Damn, just like that, baby.

Oh.

Oh.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Fuck, yeah.

Goddamn, that feels so good.

Mm, there we go.

Mm, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, goddamn.

That's it, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Just like that.

Yes, yes.

Oh, yes.

Mm, fuck.

Oh my God, it feels so good.

Mm-hmm.

That's it.

Yes, just like that.

Oh, pussy.

Oh, yeah, pussy, don't you.

Spit on me, pussy, I want you to spit on me.

Mm-hmm.

Spit, that's it, baby, yes.

That's it.

Mm, that's it.

Yes.

Ooh.

Fuck.

Goddamn, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh, that's it, yes, yes, yes.

Fuck, yeah.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

You already got me, huh?

Oh.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

Yeah, yeah.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, fuck.

Mm, God, your cock tastes so good.

Fuck, yeah.

Fuck.

Oh.

Mm.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Oh, you're so fucking good, though.

Mm-hmm.

Like that, baby?

Oh, it's so good.

Fuck, yes, you make the best of your fucking cock.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Mm.

Oh, fuck.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah.

Mm.

Mm.

Yeah, get nice and wet.

Mm.

There you go.

That's it, baby.

Mm, that's it, baby.

Oh.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh, my fucking God.

(inhaling)

Mm.

(exhaling)

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

(exhaling)

Mm.

(exhaling)

Mm.

Mm.

Fuck.

Mm.

Mm.

(laughing)

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

(chewing)

(exhaling)

Mm.

(slurping)

(gulping)

(exhaling)

Mm.

Mm.

(slurping)

Mm.

(exhaling)

(slurping)

(laughing)

Mm.

(exhaling)

Fuck.

(slurping)

Mm.

(gulping)

(inhaling)

Mm.

Oh, God, you taste so goddamn good.

Mm, I don't want you to fuck me off my mind, okay?

Yum.

- I'm gonna try a little bit of that.

- Mm, ooh.

- I'm gonna try a little bit of that.

- No, no, no.

You have to see me.

I didn't get to eat that.

Try it.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

(slurping)

Ooh.

Fuck, yes, that's it, baby.

Mm-hmm.

(exhaling)

Oh, shit.

Fuck, that's good, that's good.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Fuck, yeah.

That's it, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Goddamn, that cow feels so good.

Yeah, it does.

Shit, that's it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm.

Oh.

Mm, that's it, baby.

Yes, yes, yes.

That's it.

Fuck, yeah.

Mm.

Mm, yes.

Goddamn, you and your thick fucking cock

filling every fucking inch of my pussy.

That's what you're doing.

Goddamn.

That's it, baby.

That's it, yes.

Mm-hmm.

(gasping)

Oh my God, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Ooh.

Fucking tease, you fucking tease.

(gasping)

That's it, that's it, that's it.

Oh, yes.

Ooh, that's it, baby.

(gasping)

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Mm, that's it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

(panting)

Ooh.

Fuck.

(panting)

Mm, shit, baby.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

(panting)

Mm-hmm, that's it.

Mm, that's it, nice and slow.

Let me feel that cock fucking pushing into my pussy.

Mm-hmm.

Oh my God, that's good.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck, yes.

I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it.

Oh my God, that's me.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm.

Shit, yes.

That's it, baby.

Oh my God.

Fuck, yeah.

Mm.

Oh, shit.

(panting)

Oh, fuck, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Fuck.

Oh my God, that feels so good.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm.

Fuck.

That's it, baby.

Goddamn.

Oh, fuck, yes.

That's it, that's it.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, shit.

Oh.

Fuck, yeah.

Oh my God, baby.

Mm, mm, mm, mm.

That's it, that's it.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

Holy fuck.

Mm.

Shit, yes, yes, yes.

Fuck, yes.

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh my God, that felt good.

Fuck, yes, yes.

That's it, baby.

That's it, yes.

(moaning)

Yes.

Oh my God.

Oh, yes.

Oh my God, baby, come again.

Baby, come again, baby.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh my God.

Shit.

Mm, yes.

I'm not done yet, no, I'm not fucking done yet.

No.

Oh, shit.

That's it, baby.

Mm, mm, mm.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Mm.

That's it, baby.

Oh, ah, ah.

Mm.

That's it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh my God, oh.

Shit.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, God, you feel so good.

Mm.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Mm.

Oh.

Yes, yes, yes.

Just like that, baby.

No, don't fucking stop, okay?

Don't fucking stop, I'm not done yet.

Yeah, come on, just like this, just like this.

Ooh.

That's it, baby.

Mm.

Oh, ooh.

Fuck, yes.

That's it, that's it, that's it, that's it.

Oh, baby, woo.

Oh my God, yes.

Oh, that's it, baby, I'm gonna ride that fucking car, okay?

Oh my gosh, baby, there you go.

Mm.

(laughs)

Oh my gosh, if you want it, sit like that.

Mm.

Mm.

Ooh, fuck, yes.

That's it.

Mm, shit, babe.

God, fucking cock is so good.

Oh.

Oh, right here.

Fucking ride that dick of yours.

That's it.

Oh.

Fuck, yeah.

Mm, yes, yes, yes.

Oh.

Mm, that's it, baby.

Fuck, yes, yes, yes.

That's it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm, fuck, yes.

Mm, that's it, slow.

Fucking take that fat cock

down deep inside my tail, pussy.

Yeah.

Ooh, shit, yes.

Ooh, yes.

Mm.

Fuck.

Mm, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it.

Mm.

Fuck, yeah.

God.

Mm, so perfect.

Yes.

Mm.

Yes.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Fuck.

Fuck, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, baby.

Oh, shit.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

That's it, baby.

Fucking cock.

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Oh.

Mm.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God.

Fuck.

Oh, shit.

- Oh shit. - Oh my god.

- Oh my god.

- Fuck.

- Oh my god. - Oh my god.

- Fuck.

- Fuck.

(laughing)

(moaning)

- Looks like I played my cards right.

- Mm-hmm.

(laughing)

So much gum.

(moaning)

(sighing)

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