All language subtitles for Catastrophe (2015) - 04x01 - Episode 1.HDTV-KETTLE

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,297 Hey. 2 00:00:01,298 --> 00:00:04,539 Sir, your wife is very drunk. We've had to remove her 3 00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:08,139 from our establishment, so now she's on the streets, like rubbish. 4 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:11,199 Jesus! Fucking open your eyes! 5 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,819 Oh, my God! 6 00:00:15,064 --> 00:00:16,608 Oh, my God, Rob! 7 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,367 They're gonna give me a breathalyser. 8 00:00:18,369 --> 00:00:19,587 What... What? 9 00:00:20,304 --> 00:00:21,939 I'm not gonna pass it. 10 00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,259 What? 11 00:00:24,932 --> 00:00:26,264 I'm sorry! 12 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:32,259 Your offence showed brazen disregard for the safety of others. 13 00:00:32,882 --> 00:00:36,701 While you claim custody would be distressing for you, 14 00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:40,338 incarceration is the only appropriate response. 15 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,890 Your sentence is one of six months' imprisonment. 16 00:00:44,015 --> 00:00:45,398 You may go down. 17 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:50,579 Judge Hickey will preside in the case of Robert Norris... 18 00:00:51,265 --> 00:00:53,659 You're up. Go on! 19 00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:56,120 ...the Road Traffic Act 1991. 20 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,713 - Zip your fly. - What? 21 00:00:58,715 --> 00:01:01,476 - Your fly's undone. Zip your fly. - OK, no, it's no problem. 22 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,659 Following Mr Norris's arrest, blood was taken, 23 00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:09,339 and he was found to be 40 milligrams over the limit, 24 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:12,377 - the limit being 80. - Mr Norris? 25 00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:16,419 - Judge Hickey. - Call me "sir". We're not in Kansas. 26 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,819 Sir Hickey, when I was six years old, 27 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:21,324 I watched my father. 28 00:01:21,326 --> 00:01:23,963 We don't have time for your autobiography, Mr Norris. 29 00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:26,159 Right. May I approach the bench? 30 00:01:26,808 --> 00:01:28,339 I don't see a bench. 31 00:01:28,996 --> 00:01:33,520 OK. I accept full responsibility for my misdemeanour... 32 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:40,307 crime. Er, but this incident was entirely out of character for me. 33 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:44,815 I was in a very difficult place emotionally, Your Honour, sir, 34 00:01:44,816 --> 00:01:50,260 as it had not been long since I found out that, er, 35 00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:52,285 my wife had... 36 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:57,289 masturbated off a young student, a college boy, 37 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,911 on the roof of a nightclub. 38 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:04,038 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 39 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,899 I'm sorry. I just thought if I could deflect some of the stink onto you, 40 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,059 300 years ago, if you'd have pulled that crap, 41 00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:13,898 I'm the one who would've been sent down, with a scarlet letter on me. 42 00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:16,493 300 years ago you were SUPPOSED to drive drunk. 43 00:02:16,494 --> 00:02:19,493 - What, and you're Muireann? - You're Muireann. 44 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,940 Do you wanna drive? 45 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,392 Oh, shit, sorry. Forgot. 46 00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:28,179 Not allowed to, because you're a drunk driver and a fugitive. 47 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,779 I'm not a fugitive. I turned myself in! 48 00:02:32,005 --> 00:02:33,859 You didn't turn yourself in! 49 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:36,419 If you could've run away from the scene of the accident, 50 00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:38,518 I'm a hundred percent confident you would've. 51 00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,299 You wish you were a fugitive. 52 00:02:40,301 --> 00:02:42,579 You were arrested, so you're a criminal. 53 00:02:43,048 --> 00:02:44,963 A criminal in a neck brace. 54 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,520 What a fucking catch! 55 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,978 I mean, I feel like I'm under surveillance with Sharon now. 56 00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:55,379 You know. It's, like, I never had much privacy before, 57 00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:58,459 - but now it's, like, Stasi level. - What's Stasi? 58 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:01,259 - East German secret police. - Well, at least she gives a shit. 59 00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,859 Most women would've flown the coop after that stunt. 60 00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,962 That's true. But it's still... menacing. 61 00:03:06,963 --> 00:03:08,213 And you haven't drunk since? 62 00:03:08,215 --> 00:03:09,462 - No. - Why not? 63 00:03:09,463 --> 00:03:12,548 What's changed, other than that pussy magnet round your neck? 64 00:03:12,549 --> 00:03:14,459 Honestly, the only thing that's changed 65 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,298 is that I now know that my drinking could kill someone 66 00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:20,126 other than myself. I mean, I didn't care if I got hurt, 67 00:03:20,127 --> 00:03:23,946 but I don't wanna kill any civilian bystanders or my kids. 68 00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:25,659 You might not have cared if you'd got hurt, 69 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,845 but did you think about how lonely I'd have been without you, 70 00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:29,518 you fat cunt? 71 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,459 Can we talk about anything other than me? 72 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,260 With pleasure. Let's talk about me. 73 00:03:33,262 --> 00:03:34,539 How's your new girlfriend? 74 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:35,978 Oh, I dunno, mate. 75 00:03:35,979 --> 00:03:37,479 It's moving at warp speed over here. 76 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,059 She wants to move in. Got us a family membership at the gym, 77 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:42,419 which was, like, "Whoa, there, Nelly!" 78 00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:43,596 What's her name? 79 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,339 - Nelly. - Really? 80 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,699 No, it's Tanya. Hey, do you wanna meet her? 81 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,139 - What you doing this weekend? - I have community service 82 00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:53,899 for the next 215 weekends, in a fucking charity shop. 83 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,139 Christ. It's humiliating. 84 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,188 Yeah. 85 00:03:57,190 --> 00:03:59,499 It's probably less humiliating than having to ask a judge's permission 86 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,931 to go to your wife's funeral 87 00:04:00,932 --> 00:04:03,158 because you backed over her in the driveway. 88 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,680 - Yeah. - OK. Have a great weekend. 89 00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:22,178 - How'd you even know I was here? - You told me. 90 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:24,775 It was in your calendar. I forget. Who cares? 91 00:04:26,729 --> 00:04:30,099 Honey, I'm on probation from the state, 92 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,000 and they're doing a pretty good job. 93 00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:35,499 I'm accounted for. You need to stop following me. 94 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,126 Don't say it like that, like I'm obsessed with you or something. 95 00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:40,844 This isn't Fatal Attraction. 96 00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:43,829 There's 25 pubs between here and our house 97 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:47,126 that I can't trust you to walk past because you're a secret alcoholic. 98 00:04:47,127 --> 00:04:50,339 I'm not a secret alcoholic. I told you that the night we met. 99 00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:52,477 OK, then. A lying alcoholic. 100 00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:55,058 This is inconvenient for me too, you know. 101 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,539 Seriously, why are there so many pubs around here? 102 00:04:57,540 --> 00:05:00,499 Don't they have zoning laws? It's, like, pub, JD Sports, 103 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:05,539 pub, bike shop, pub, William Hill, pub, Pret, pub, 104 00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:08,680 Pret, Pret, pub, Pret... 105 00:05:11,768 --> 00:05:14,807 So, how did you guys get into the whole 106 00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:17,899 cerebral-palsy charity scene? 107 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,939 - My daughter has cerebral palsy. - Oh! Oh, great. 108 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:24,960 - Er, I mean, it makes sense that... - I have cerebral palsy. 109 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,267 Hey, have guys ever seen Last Comic Standing? 110 00:05:30,268 --> 00:05:31,690 Do you guys watch that show? 111 00:05:31,692 --> 00:05:34,603 A cerebral-palsy guy did that, 112 00:05:34,604 --> 00:05:39,274 and he won the whole thing, because, as you know, 113 00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:41,360 people with cerebral palsy can do anything. 114 00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:42,830 I can't drive. 115 00:05:43,783 --> 00:05:46,294 Well... neither can I! 116 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,339 Yeah! 117 00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,980 Any chance I can put my appropriate-weight son on there? 118 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,619 Fuck's sake. 119 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:06,819 Play on the slide instead. Go on there. 120 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,419 Hello! Cerebral palsy... busters. 121 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:25,919 Do you wanna take us for lunch? 122 00:06:25,921 --> 00:06:27,465 I need a drink. 123 00:06:27,466 --> 00:06:31,299 I dunno if I can. They run kind of a tight ship here. 124 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,254 Nothing happens in charity shops. 125 00:06:33,255 --> 00:06:34,987 Just ask them if you can pop to Greggs 126 00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:36,574 for a fucking sausage roll. 127 00:06:36,575 --> 00:06:39,519 - I had Greggs for breakfast. - What? You had breakfast at home. 128 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,379 - Yeah, but then I passed one, so... - "Just ask them!" 129 00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,360 OK! Jesus. Hang on. 130 00:06:46,177 --> 00:06:50,019 Sorry. Um, excuse me. Hi. Um, that's my wife on the phone, 131 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:52,539 and she's wondering when my lunch hour is, 132 00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:56,219 - cos she's on her own with the kids. - Oh, we don't take a lunch break. 133 00:06:56,220 --> 00:07:00,536 We just bring sandwiches in, in case there's a lunchtime rush. 134 00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,400 OK. 135 00:07:05,802 --> 00:07:08,168 Yeah. It's not happening. 136 00:07:08,169 --> 00:07:10,739 Listen, why don't you take the kids somewhere nice for lunch... 137 00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:13,684 - you know, treat yourself? - Yeah! OK. 138 00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:15,779 Because, as we both know, lunch somewhere nice 139 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:18,139 with two loud, dirty children under the age of four 140 00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,491 is a real fucking treat. 141 00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:20,504 See you at home. 142 00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:23,207 - I have my AA meeting tonight. - Again?! 143 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,099 Well, I mean, you don't really graduate from alcoholism. 144 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:29,739 So I'm supposed to watch Game Of Thrones on my own, like a pervert? 145 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,347 - Well, I... - Fine. 146 00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,303 If anything designer gets donated by mistake, 147 00:07:33,305 --> 00:07:35,445 put it aside for me, OK? Bye. 148 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,608 Have you thought about a bit of therapy? 149 00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:45,036 We've thought about it, 150 00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:48,326 but we don't really wanna hear our terrible problems out loud. 151 00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:51,208 Chris always likened therapy to taking a shit. 152 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,019 Better to do it in the therapist's office than stink up your own home. 153 00:07:54,857 --> 00:07:56,920 I can only shit at home. 154 00:07:56,922 --> 00:07:59,771 Well, whatever works for you. 155 00:07:59,773 --> 00:08:02,668 Can't be easy being married to a criminal. 156 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:05,465 - Where's Jeffrey today? - He's moved out, 157 00:08:05,466 --> 00:08:06,808 and moved in with Chris. 158 00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:08,579 Turned down a role in a Vin Diesel movie 159 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:11,779 - to do Twelfth Night at the theatre. - God, that's rough. 160 00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,864 - I'm sorry to hear that. - We fell out. 161 00:08:14,865 --> 00:08:18,974 But I'm quite happy on my own in my bachelorette pad. 162 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,981 I haven't put a bra on before 4:00 PM all week. 163 00:08:45,998 --> 00:08:47,838 Hello! 164 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,139 - Rob, right? - Hi. 165 00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,939 - Thank you for... - Oh, finish your biscuit. 166 00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:57,222 - Just, er, wanted to say that... 167 00:08:57,224 --> 00:08:59,019 I realised, what you were sharing about your accident, 168 00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,899 that I was there! On Redchurch Street. 169 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,099 - I was actually there that night. - You were there? 170 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,098 Yeah! I'm so relieved you're OK. 171 00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:09,739 I'm... not telling you this to make you feel bad, 172 00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:13,036 but, um, I had to go to the hospital too that night. 173 00:09:13,037 --> 00:09:16,419 I got... some of your windscreen in my leg. 174 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:19,179 Some glass splintered and cut me, if you can believe it. 175 00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,819 I had no idea anyone else... I'm so sorry! 176 00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:26,474 Don't worry about it! I'm just glad you found your way here. 177 00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:29,676 A lot of people don't. For me, it was losing my husband. 178 00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:32,044 He died five years ago next week. 179 00:09:32,045 --> 00:09:33,899 I was blacked out as usual. 180 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:36,179 They think I probably knocked over a candle. 181 00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:39,379 They got me out, the firemen, but they didn't reach him in time. 182 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:40,584 Oh, God! 183 00:09:41,505 --> 00:09:42,817 Jesus, I'm sorry. 184 00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:44,899 Oh, thank you, love. 185 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,019 Oh, yeah! And you said in your share 186 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,499 that you've been listening to a lot of Radiohead. 187 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:52,099 Try to get better, OK, 188 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,440 not wank off to your little man-feelings. See you next week. 189 00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:08,942 Jesus! 190 00:10:08,943 --> 00:10:12,298 So, was he, like, cooked, or was it smoke inhalation? 191 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,699 I dunno. I'll ask her next time. 192 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,259 So, what age is she? What's she look like? 193 00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:20,299 Er, 35, 60. 194 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,539 She looks sorta mousy. 195 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,379 Mouse-like? 196 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,939 She looked like she was transforming into a mouse, 197 00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:29,219 and then got interrupted mid-spell. 198 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:32,419 Wow! So, you've been thinking about her a lot? 199 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:35,019 Well, it's just... I feel responsible. 200 00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:37,219 There's probably a statute of limitations anyway. 201 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,859 It's not a rape. She just cut her leg. 202 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:43,499 If she was hurt, then, of course we should help her in some way. 203 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,219 All I'm saying is, was she really hurt? 204 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:49,299 - She had to go to the hospital. - Had to? Come on. 205 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,979 And also, you know, you go out 11:30 on a Saturday night in London, 206 00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,419 you might get some glass in your leg, 207 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,440 so whose fault is it really? 208 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:05,120 I think we've seen it all now, yeah? Let's go and get some nosh... 209 00:11:05,737 --> 00:11:08,899 - What? - Can I have this? 210 00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,058 Don't you have one of those? 211 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,780 - No. - Gimme a look. 212 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,760 Oh, come on! 213 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,379 Let's have a look in that bin! 214 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,299 Look at those guys, huh? 215 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,800 What about this little fella? 216 00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,940 I want Daddy. 217 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,240 Gimme a look at it. What's that? 218 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,819 - Hello. - Can I get this? - Yeah. 219 00:11:57,820 --> 00:12:00,160 Thank you. 220 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,779 Excuse me. We're gonna be closing soon, and... Oh, hey! 221 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:26,855 Amanda? 222 00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,739 I was just at physio around the corner, 223 00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:31,019 and I remembered you saying you were working here. 224 00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:34,459 Thought I'd drop in and say hi, and get this. 225 00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:38,019 Oh, just so you know, I inventoried that earlier, 226 00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:42,142 and somebody's replaced the bishops with Monopoly hotels. 227 00:12:42,143 --> 00:12:45,859 I guess just remember, bishop, hotel, and you should be fine. 228 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,640 A plastic bag... 229 00:12:52,374 --> 00:12:54,374 You look stressed. 230 00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:58,499 Um, it's just... you know, I feel guilty 231 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,459 that my wife is looking after the kids, and I'm here, 232 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,028 folding doilies. 233 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:06,139 Well, look, think about it this way. 234 00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:09,508 At least you didn't burn your house down while your husband was in it. 235 00:13:10,471 --> 00:13:12,259 - Wow! - I'm joking. 236 00:13:12,260 --> 00:13:14,659 I mean, I'm not joking. That happened. 237 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,697 But I always think, "What would God want me to do?" 238 00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:19,979 Flagellate myself in my basement for the rest of my life, 239 00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:24,626 or come to places like this and help people like you? 240 00:13:24,628 --> 00:13:27,139 You have to forgive yourself. I forgive you! 241 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,042 - Oh, I... - Are you OK? 242 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,205 I'm sorry. Yes. 243 00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:35,259 Just... a little dizzy. 244 00:13:35,260 --> 00:13:38,739 Skipped lunch earlier, and between that and my leg, I, er... 245 00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:42,419 Could you... possibly... walk me home? 246 00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,611 - It... It's really not far. - I... 247 00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:47,259 Could I call you a taxi instead? 248 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,721 It's just I've been gone all day. I really need to get home. 249 00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:54,299 No. It's OK. I... I get carsick. 250 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,840 It... It is fine. I'll manage. 251 00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:02,893 Bishop, hotel. 252 00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:25,659 - What were you doing in Dalston? - What? 253 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:28,699 Did you go drinking? Did you go drinking under the bridge? 254 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:32,739 No! The lady with the limp asked me to walk her home. 255 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,179 You walked the glass-in-her-leg lady home? 256 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:36,984 - Well, I couldn't say no. - Oh, my God. 257 00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:38,338 Her leg was hurting. 258 00:14:38,339 --> 00:14:41,705 - What do you want me to do? - I want you to stop farting your guilt 259 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,744 onto some lady, who's taking you for a ride, by the way. 260 00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:47,219 I can feel it. Seriously, you need to get some advice on this, 261 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,003 because this is gonna end badly. 262 00:14:49,005 --> 00:14:50,345 You need to talk to a lawyer. 263 00:14:50,346 --> 00:14:52,779 Get them to send a cease-and-desist letter. 264 00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:56,139 Cease and desist from asking me to walk her home? 265 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:59,315 Do not get caught up in her shit, Rob! 266 00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:01,417 - Don't go there again! - Fine! 267 00:15:01,419 --> 00:15:05,455 Seriously, why am I dragging kids around fucking museums 268 00:15:05,456 --> 00:15:07,564 when you're working as an escort? 269 00:15:07,565 --> 00:15:09,827 Honestly, it'd be easier if you just... 270 00:15:09,828 --> 00:15:12,565 lived in China than this shit. 271 00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,179 Spend what little time you have, 272 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,099 when you're not getting arrested or having probation hearings 273 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,459 - with your family. - She's a fucking fire widow 274 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:22,459 that I injured in a car accident I'm trying to help out, 275 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:25,899 and who has a shaving of sympathy for what I'm going through. 276 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:29,447 - Oh, please! - How did you know I was in Dalston? 277 00:15:29,448 --> 00:15:31,791 - Find my phone. - What? 278 00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:35,447 - The app thing. - You need to stop surveilling me, OK? 279 00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,257 I'm not planning a bank robbery. 280 00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:40,618 I'm going to AA. I'm working in a charity shop, 281 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:44,379 plus my real job, and I'm doing the best I can. 282 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,579 And you're just... I mean, it's, like... 283 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,575 making a murderer up in here. 284 00:15:48,576 --> 00:15:50,859 Are you trying to DRIVE me back to the bottle? 285 00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,019 Oh, my God! 286 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:56,200 Now I've heard it all! Does that make you feel good, 287 00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,859 - blaming it on me? - It feels great! 288 00:16:00,788 --> 00:16:03,943 - Those are for Frankie's lunch. - Really? 289 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,489 Did HE pay for 'em? 290 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,302 Or did I? 291 00:16:14,448 --> 00:16:15,840 Oh, my God! 292 00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,788 The receipt's in the bag. Have a good day. 293 00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:25,778 - Hi. - How are you? - Yeah, just gonna grab those. 294 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,680 Sorry. It's just... 295 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,520 Um... just a minute. 296 00:16:49,292 --> 00:16:51,659 That isn't the right price tag for this pair. 297 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,259 - Hm? - That's the wrong price tag. 298 00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:55,788 Is it? 299 00:16:56,823 --> 00:16:59,899 - Did you swap the tag? - Why would I swap a tag? 300 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,986 - Because these cost �150 more. - Really? 301 00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:06,650 - Well, that's... aggravating. - Do you still want them? 302 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,468 Yes, I still want them. That's why I'm buying them. 303 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,699 But I'd be grateful if you could find the right tag. 304 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,011 You have the tag. 305 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:18,960 What? 306 00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:28,869 I can only think that my son must have swapped the tags, 307 00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:31,640 - because... - Your son picked out a waist-27 jean? 308 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,307 You know what? I don't know how this happened. 309 00:17:35,308 --> 00:17:39,065 - I know how it happened. - But what's the big deal, really? 310 00:17:39,066 --> 00:17:42,237 Cos next month they're gonna be in the sale for that price anyway. 311 00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:44,073 Oh, I'm sorry. Do you work here? 312 00:17:44,075 --> 00:17:45,580 Because most of the time 313 00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:48,480 it's the fucking owners who determine if there's a sale on. 314 00:17:50,222 --> 00:17:53,188 Was it worth it, to get some cheaper jeans? 315 00:17:54,128 --> 00:17:56,179 They're probably gonna be too tight on you anyway. 316 00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,308 - Pardon? - You heard me. 317 00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,308 You know I could call the police. 318 00:18:02,468 --> 00:18:04,939 Do you think they're gonna put you in some nice ladies' cell, 319 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,675 because you're a nice lady? 320 00:18:07,341 --> 00:18:08,597 There's no such thing. 321 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,097 And do you know where they go, if you get arrested? 322 00:18:13,049 --> 00:18:14,668 They don't go with you. 323 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,939 Sir, my husband's an alcoholic. 324 00:18:24,908 --> 00:18:27,139 My children don't have a father... 325 00:18:27,753 --> 00:18:30,019 this weekend, and it's just... 326 00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:33,200 It's just really hard. It's just really hard right now. 327 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:19,800 - Yeah? - Oh, er... Is Amanda... 328 00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:22,518 I've got, er... 329 00:19:24,565 --> 00:19:28,360 - I'm sorry. Are you a friend of hers? - No. I'm her husband. 330 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:49,869 Hello? 331 00:19:49,871 --> 00:19:53,065 Hi. Oh. Is Rob there? 332 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:57,979 No. He left his phone here, and a large Burger King bag. 333 00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,299 Hold on. 334 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:04,439 There's a orange Fanta in it, and some socks. 335 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,329 - Where is he? - I don't know. 336 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,179 He left about an hour ago. 337 00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:11,360 He left... OK. Thanks. 338 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,680 I left the money for the... on the... 339 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,739 Rob! Rob! 340 00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,059 Oh! 341 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,659 Agh! 342 00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,059 Oh... 343 00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:44,139 Mummy? 344 00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,219 Oh... 345 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,859 "I'm so sorry. I had to pick up my phone from the charity shop, 346 00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:59,880 and then by the time I." 347 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,196 OK! 348 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:05,791 OK. 349 00:21:09,362 --> 00:21:10,988 Can I help you? 350 00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,801 Oh! Er, I was looking for Rob. 351 00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:17,400 - Oh, he's not at home. He's... - May I come inside and wait for him? 352 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:23,259 Erm... do you know what? Let me get the pushchair inside. 353 00:21:24,181 --> 00:21:26,532 Er, you know what? Actually, um... 354 00:21:27,368 --> 00:21:30,538 Let me give him a call, because I can tell him that. 355 00:21:30,946 --> 00:21:32,313 Hey! What the hell?! 356 00:21:32,931 --> 00:21:35,499 - Did she hurt you? - What? No, I fell over. 357 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:36,829 You cannot come here. 358 00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:38,352 You cannot come to my home. 359 00:21:38,353 --> 00:21:39,922 Why are you angry? I don't understand. 360 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,447 I just met your husband, OK? 361 00:21:41,448 --> 00:21:43,419 Your ALIVE husband. 362 00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:46,516 You might not get jail time for burning somebody 363 00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:49,414 in a bullshit story, but you should at least get a fine. 364 00:21:49,415 --> 00:21:50,821 I mean, are you even an alcoholic? 365 00:21:50,823 --> 00:21:52,406 Is your name even Amanda? 366 00:21:52,407 --> 00:21:55,019 It's probably fuckin' Joan. 367 00:21:55,571 --> 00:21:59,782 You called it. My smart wife. She fuckin' knew. 368 00:22:00,212 --> 00:22:02,251 Rob, maybe we could talk about this somewhere in private. 369 00:22:02,252 --> 00:22:04,899 Never come near me and my family again, 370 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,541 unless you wanna take another trip to the hospital. 371 00:22:06,543 --> 00:22:07,859 That's too much! 372 00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:10,899 - Come on! - I'm sorry, OK? 373 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:12,587 I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. 374 00:22:12,589 --> 00:22:14,681 Have a... good evening. 375 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,782 - I'm sorry. - Yeah, you should be. 376 00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:41,419 Because that scared everyone, me, limp lady, the kids... 377 00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:42,743 And the neighbours. 378 00:22:42,745 --> 00:22:45,219 Mike Walls just called and asked if we were OK. 379 00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:46,241 What you tell him? 380 00:22:46,243 --> 00:22:48,282 I told him to give me back my cordless drill. 381 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,493 I am sorry. 382 00:22:54,743 --> 00:22:56,280 Can I ask you something? 383 00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:02,988 Were you unhappy the whole time? 384 00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,779 Like when we had that weekend in Margate, were you unhappy there? 385 00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:08,547 What about when we went to Whipsnade Zoo? 386 00:23:08,548 --> 00:23:10,179 Were you drinking in Whipsnade? 387 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,739 - No. Why would I... - But you weren't happy. 388 00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:15,579 You didn't love being a dad and a husband enough 389 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:17,828 to not drink vodka in the basement. 390 00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:21,109 Honey, those things can coexist. 391 00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:24,059 Did you ever drive with the kids in the car when you were drinking? 392 00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:27,188 - No. God, no. I would never... - Ah, so just with me, then. 393 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,099 Honey, I need you to try and trust me again, 394 00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:34,954 just so you don't worry or panic 395 00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:36,462 when you don't know where I am, 396 00:23:36,463 --> 00:23:38,797 and feel like you have to track me. 397 00:23:38,798 --> 00:23:41,099 I'm not doing that cos I don't trust you. 398 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:42,788 Well, then, why are you? 399 00:23:44,028 --> 00:23:47,509 Because I get scared when I can't see you. 400 00:23:47,907 --> 00:23:51,899 OK? I had to look at you in the mangled wreck of a car. 401 00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:54,539 From the time it took me to run from that shitty pizza place 402 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:56,619 to the car, I thought you were dead. 403 00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,168 Oh, honey! 404 00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:01,520 Agh! 405 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,939 Just don't die on me. 406 00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:07,899 The kids would be fucked if you die first. 407 00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:12,099 Well, I mean, they'd be way more fucked if you died first. 408 00:24:12,595 --> 00:24:16,837 Dunno about that. I don't feel like much of a mother right now. 409 00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:22,328 I got caught stealing today from a shop, with the kids, 410 00:24:22,329 --> 00:24:25,628 like a meth-head. I nearly got arrested. 411 00:24:26,681 --> 00:24:28,236 Why are you laughing? 412 00:24:28,238 --> 00:24:31,993 Because that's, like, a garden-variety cry for help. 413 00:24:31,994 --> 00:24:33,688 Well, then, help me. 414 00:24:33,690 --> 00:24:35,499 Answer my cry for help. 415 00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:37,298 What did you steal? 416 00:24:37,743 --> 00:24:40,548 A dinosaur pillow and a pair of jeans. 417 00:24:40,549 --> 00:24:42,997 Oh, well, then, it's just a matter of time 418 00:24:42,999 --> 00:24:44,937 before the SWAT team gets here. 419 00:24:44,938 --> 00:24:47,360 Fuck off. 420 00:24:50,513 --> 00:24:52,968 Check out Bonnie and Clyde here. 421 00:25:33,470 --> 00:25:36,259 I'm so sorry! I... It's the neck brace. 422 00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:38,499 - Oh. - I... Sorry. I just... 423 00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:41,339 It's... Shall I turn around, and then you can... 424 00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:43,280 - Oh, sure. - Cos then I don't... Yeah. 425 00:25:48,868 --> 00:25:51,139 Wait. No. Sorry. Sorry. Now I can see you in the mirror. 426 00:25:51,140 --> 00:25:53,779 What... Er, should I turn the light off? 427 00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:56,859 Yeah, that'd be great. Sorry. Thanks so much. 428 00:25:56,860 --> 00:25:59,375 - Ah! - Ooh! 429 00:25:59,376 --> 00:26:05,376 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 33591

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