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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 01:00:08,204 --> 01:00:11,074 [MUSIC] 2 01:00:44,974 --> 01:00:45,041 [MUSIC] 3 01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:57,320 The categories are face, woman's runway, 4 01:00:58,454 --> 01:01:04,560 Vogue femme, butch queen up in drags, femme queen sex siren. 5 01:01:05,094 --> 01:01:05,762 Are you ready? 6 01:01:06,295 --> 01:01:08,564 Are you bitches ready to walk for me? 7 01:01:09,265 --> 01:01:11,134 Bring it to the runway now. 8 01:01:13,202 --> 01:01:19,609 [MUSIC] 9 01:01:22,045 --> 01:01:25,281 Just sweet, mysterious. 10 01:01:26,315 --> 01:01:31,854 [MUSIC] 11 01:01:31,854 --> 01:01:36,259 Bring it to the runway now. 12 01:01:39,195 --> 01:01:41,664 [MUSIC] 13 01:01:52,175 --> 01:01:53,776 Just sweet, mysterious. 14 01:01:55,578 --> 01:01:56,779 How I look. 15 01:01:57,580 --> 01:01:59,015 [MUSIC] 16 01:02:02,185 --> 01:02:06,522 The ball people are black, gay people that were kept out of art society. 17 01:02:07,223 --> 01:02:08,958 And they made their own arena. 18 01:02:09,459 --> 01:02:11,594 The ballroom scene is a beautiful place. 19 01:02:11,594 --> 01:02:14,464 And it's the only place where gay men and 20 01:02:14,530 --> 01:02:19,302 gay women and transgenders can all come together as one and 21 01:02:19,469 --> 01:02:23,773 do something that they can enjoy doing together as a community. 22 01:02:25,541 --> 01:02:29,879 The history of balls, how Marie Antoinette had balls and 23 01:02:29,879 --> 01:02:32,281 she would toss diamonds to the winner. 24 01:02:32,882 --> 01:02:34,951 The houses popped up in the early 70s. 25 01:02:34,951 --> 01:02:36,519 House of LaBeija was the first house. 26 01:02:36,819 --> 01:02:39,922 After Paris is burning, after Madonna's vole, 27 01:02:40,490 --> 01:02:42,458 then people started creating houses. 28 01:02:42,959 --> 01:02:45,661 There's been over 100 houses created so far. 29 01:02:46,262 --> 01:02:47,697 [MUSIC] 30 01:02:48,798 --> 01:02:53,569 A new school legend would be somebody that began their career in 1990. 31 01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:57,607 Anybody from 1989 and back is old school. 32 01:02:58,541 --> 01:03:04,614 So icons are those people who go way back, 1989 and before. 33 01:03:05,915 --> 01:03:08,017 [MUSIC] 34 01:03:09,252 --> 01:03:11,454 There's three ways that you get a ballroom name. 35 01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:15,258 Original name, a designer name, and a contrived name. 36 01:03:15,525 --> 01:03:17,360 House of LaBeija was the first house. 37 01:03:17,493 --> 01:03:19,395 In the 60s, there were groupings of people. 38 01:03:19,762 --> 01:03:22,665 The Spanish drag queens were from Spanish Harlem. 39 01:03:23,366 --> 01:03:26,536 I think they were called the Delightful Ladies. 40 01:03:28,037 --> 01:03:31,207 And then they had the black drag queens were called the La Chanel's. 41 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:35,578 And they used to go to balls and battle against each other, but 42 01:03:35,678 --> 01:03:38,281 only as those two groups, not as the house. 43 01:03:38,614 --> 01:03:40,983 LaBeija, LaBeija, LaBeija, LaBeija. 44 01:03:41,417 --> 01:03:43,419 The House of LaBeija will rain, darling. 45 01:03:43,586 --> 01:03:45,454 It will always rain and there is no shade. 46 01:03:46,122 --> 01:03:50,326 And for those of you that don't like it, learn it and learn it well. 47 01:03:51,127 --> 01:03:52,762 [MUSIC] 48 01:03:53,429 --> 01:03:55,631 We were friends before we got on that runway, but 49 01:03:55,631 --> 01:03:58,634 once we hit that pinnacle baby, you see me, 50 01:03:58,634 --> 01:04:01,204 I see you, you don't see me, I don't see you. 51 01:04:01,504 --> 01:04:02,872 May the best man win. 52 01:04:04,273 --> 01:04:05,174 [MUSIC] 53 01:04:05,341 --> 01:04:10,780 A perfect ball would be hot performers, great categories, and 54 01:04:10,780 --> 01:04:12,448 a great setting, and a great opening 55 01:04:12,448 --> 01:04:14,283 presentation by the house that's pulling it off. 56 01:04:14,317 --> 01:04:15,685 [MUSIC] 57 01:04:24,994 --> 01:04:26,295 The balls are set up where you have a 58 01:04:26,295 --> 01:04:29,565 panel of judges who score you from one to ten, 59 01:04:29,565 --> 01:04:30,533 ten being the highest. 60 01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:34,070 Balls have maybe 20 categories, some have 50. 61 01:04:34,570 --> 01:04:38,741 These new cities that are operating balls like Detroit, Chicago, 62 01:04:38,741 --> 01:04:41,644 Atlanta, they accept it real quick. 63 01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:44,580 New York gave Philadelphia a hard way to 64 01:04:44,580 --> 01:04:47,149 go when they first came onto the ball scene 65 01:04:47,583 --> 01:04:48,217 in 1989. 66 01:04:49,986 --> 01:04:51,420 [MUSIC] 67 01:04:52,054 --> 01:04:56,659 When I started walking balls, this was years ago and they were up in Harlem. 68 01:04:57,493 --> 01:04:58,494 It was very low key. 69 01:04:59,395 --> 01:05:02,898 The balls used to start around four o'clock in the morning sometimes. 70 01:05:03,799 --> 01:05:05,334 [MUSIC] 71 01:05:06,769 --> 01:05:09,338 Used to come out at nine o'clock in the morning, people were bored of work. 72 01:05:09,405 --> 01:05:13,142 [MUSIC] 73 01:05:13,142 --> 01:05:29,525 The categories vary from best best man to best best woman to female body to male 74 01:05:29,525 --> 01:05:36,699 body to transsexuals trying to walk and pretend that they are not a man. 75 01:05:37,199 --> 01:05:39,969 [MUSIC] 76 01:05:41,804 --> 01:05:44,807 Some of the winnings are cashed and some are just trophies. 77 01:05:45,741 --> 01:05:51,113 The presence that we carry, the aura that we have around us, 78 01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:54,884 it takes charge that you know that it's like if you're floating, 79 01:05:54,884 --> 01:05:58,087 like you're an angel and you just walked in and you're the most beautiful thing in 80 01:05:58,087 --> 01:05:58,654 the world. 81 01:05:58,654 --> 01:06:01,691 There's a language involved in the drag ball world, 82 01:06:01,691 --> 01:06:04,360 certain words that are not relevant to anything else. 83 01:06:05,094 --> 01:06:07,596 There's certain type of music, there's certain dress, 84 01:06:08,130 --> 01:06:11,400 there's modes of character, behavior, look, style, the name system. 85 01:06:11,767 --> 01:06:13,035 To me the ball is an outlet. 86 01:06:13,336 --> 01:06:18,040 It is a soap box for anybody who wants to express themselves in the gay community 87 01:06:18,207 --> 01:06:19,675 that may not be able to do it at home. 88 01:06:19,942 --> 01:06:22,678 Thus far that's where the houses come from and you have parents, mothers, and 89 01:06:22,678 --> 01:06:23,045 fathers. 90 01:06:23,446 --> 01:06:27,650 The purpose of the mother and the father of a house is find the right kids to 91 01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:33,789 compete with, teach them, work with them, care for them like if they were actually 92 01:06:33,889 --> 01:06:34,390 our own. 93 01:06:34,924 --> 01:06:36,525 [APPLAUSE] 94 01:06:41,897 --> 01:06:46,635 I'm the legendary icon, Kenny, Misha, Ebony, and 95 01:06:46,635 --> 01:06:50,406 I'm just here to tell you a little about the ballroom history and 96 01:06:50,406 --> 01:06:52,408 how legislation for stars developed. 97 01:06:53,275 --> 01:06:56,946 It was that Ira and Dwayne Aphrodite Ball at the baseline. 98 01:06:57,446 --> 01:06:59,415 They were running, they were pressed for time and 99 01:06:59,415 --> 01:07:02,551 people was coming into the ballroom and the ballroom was packed. 100 01:07:02,918 --> 01:07:04,420 So they came to me and got very Kenny. 101 01:07:05,121 --> 01:07:08,858 Could you do something that would keep the kids occupied until we're ready for 102 01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:09,458 grand march? 103 01:07:09,925 --> 01:07:13,195 So I said, okay, so I went out there and I told the DJ, give me a beat. 104 01:07:13,996 --> 01:07:17,133 And while I was sitting there, I said, well, I wanna introduce something new to 105 01:07:17,133 --> 01:07:23,572 the people, something we're gonna call legends, statements, and stars. 106 01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:28,444 By having the roll call of legends, statements, and stars gives everyone a 107 01:07:28,444 --> 01:07:33,015 chance to see who are some of the competitors in the ballroom scene. 108 01:07:34,683 --> 01:07:36,419 [MUSIC] 109 01:07:37,286 --> 01:07:41,490 Because it was a matter of need, they created this house system. 110 01:07:43,993 --> 01:07:44,627 [MUSIC] 111 01:07:45,394 --> 01:07:49,965 It became a creative outlet to live that superstar, 112 01:07:49,965 --> 01:07:53,736 supermodel moment under extreme competitive circumstances. 113 01:07:54,370 --> 01:07:57,873 [MUSIC] 114 01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:01,177 Some live this fantasy world every day. 115 01:08:02,144 --> 01:08:06,015 Some take their talents to the real world, like Jose, Tracy, and Willie. 116 01:08:06,882 --> 01:08:10,186 And some take it as a form of entertainment and leave it like that. 117 01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:13,456 [MUSIC] 118 01:08:14,590 --> 01:08:17,593 Living out on the edge prepares them for life. 119 01:08:18,461 --> 01:08:22,198 And through their talents and achievements, they build their self esteem. 120 01:08:22,765 --> 01:08:26,001 [MUSIC] 121 01:08:27,837 --> 01:08:32,541 At balls, the entire community has the opportunity to participate and 122 01:08:32,541 --> 01:08:34,877 to showcase their talents on the runway. 123 01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:38,147 [MUSIC] 124 01:08:41,016 --> 01:08:43,686 When I take straight people to balls, 125 01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:47,890 I have to let them know that there are men in there that look like women. 126 01:08:48,324 --> 01:08:52,928 And it is an illusion and sometimes they see someone who looks good and 127 01:08:52,928 --> 01:08:56,365 they'll say, Jamie, she looks good, can you get her number for me? 128 01:08:56,365 --> 01:09:00,302 And I'll have to let them know, nice and easy, honey, she's a man. 129 01:09:01,770 --> 01:09:01,804 [SOUND] 130 01:09:02,838 --> 01:09:05,908 I'm 40 years old right now and I think I'm aging pretty gracefully. 131 01:09:06,876 --> 01:09:10,279 That's why I tell these girls when it comes to being the person that I am, 132 01:09:10,279 --> 01:09:13,649 say after us, cuz you'll be happy in the long run. 133 01:09:14,083 --> 01:09:17,186 Hey, hi, Buffy, this is Picasso, extravaganza. 134 01:09:17,753 --> 01:09:18,954 He's the next time I do. 135 01:09:19,154 --> 01:09:20,923 Of course, just like mother. 136 01:09:22,758 --> 01:09:23,058 [MUSIC] [SOUND] 137 01:09:23,058 --> 01:09:28,330 I was chosen by only one person to become the mother of this house and 138 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:30,266 that was the mother herself, Angie. 139 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:36,005 There was no question if it's about it, as far as they were gonna have a meeting to 140 01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:36,906 see who the mother was. 141 01:09:37,540 --> 01:09:39,975 Angie already knew that she wanted me as mother. 142 01:09:40,309 --> 01:09:42,845 You go from boy to femme queen. 143 01:09:43,712 --> 01:09:46,415 I started taking hormones at the age of 16. 144 01:09:47,316 --> 01:09:48,784 In 18 I got castrated. 145 01:09:49,718 --> 01:09:51,020 You go through electrolysis. 146 01:09:51,654 --> 01:09:52,955 You have a lot of hair in your face. 147 01:09:52,955 --> 01:09:55,624 I didn't have peach buds, so I just took care of that. 148 01:09:55,858 --> 01:09:58,460 And once you get castrated, everything falls in place. 149 01:09:58,794 --> 01:10:00,863 So if you're a little skinny boy and you're still feminine, 150 01:10:01,230 --> 01:10:04,033 you get castrated, you're basically a woman. 151 01:10:04,767 --> 01:10:06,735 Makeup comes with it from within me. 152 01:10:07,303 --> 01:10:12,174 What I wanna create in this face, what colors I wanna add, 153 01:10:12,274 --> 01:10:14,476 what beauty I wanna bring out. 154 01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:17,179 Like Octavia always say, that wicked beauty. 155 01:10:17,913 --> 01:10:20,950 My stages of transformation was I was a boy. 156 01:10:22,217 --> 01:10:22,418 Name? 157 01:10:23,385 --> 01:10:23,752 Name? 158 01:10:24,453 --> 01:10:25,254 You want my name? 159 01:10:25,654 --> 01:10:26,422 My boy's name? 160 01:10:27,356 --> 01:10:27,656 Never. 161 01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:29,258 [LAUGH] 162 01:10:29,858 --> 01:10:33,062 I would never give you my boy's name, and I'm a junior, mind you. 163 01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:36,065 [MUSIC] 164 01:10:37,399 --> 01:10:39,501 The gay kids and different house families, 165 01:10:39,768 --> 01:10:41,904 we wanna do this because this keeps us together. 166 01:10:42,338 --> 01:10:44,873 Angie always told me, keep the flame going, don't let it die. 167 01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:46,942 You know, so I try to do that for my house. 168 01:10:47,343 --> 01:10:49,678 The House of Extravaganza was our first Latino house. 169 01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:52,982 You just have to look that essence. 170 01:10:53,482 --> 01:10:56,685 We see it, we feel it, we smell it. 171 01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:00,222 [MUSIC] 172 01:11:03,792 --> 01:11:06,462 Why does it end up so many talented people in the ball community? 173 01:11:06,695 --> 01:11:08,063 Because it just comes out. 174 01:11:08,063 --> 01:11:09,231 People wanna be creative. 175 01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:12,301 People wanna show what they can do. 176 01:11:12,301 --> 01:11:15,037 [MUSIC] 177 01:11:16,271 --> 01:11:18,073 Do you feel comfortable with your sexuality? 178 01:11:18,574 --> 01:11:20,342 My God, you just don't know how comfortable. 179 01:11:21,243 --> 01:11:23,145 I am so comfortable, I am happy. 180 01:11:24,146 --> 01:11:25,414 [LAUGH] Very comfortable. 181 01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:31,787 To be a film queen and to come off, to come off unclockable, 182 01:11:33,288 --> 01:11:35,924 that is over, that is the complete over. 183 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:40,062 [MUSIC] 184 01:11:44,733 --> 01:11:51,240 How we receive our status is through being drags. 185 01:11:51,707 --> 01:11:56,078 From drags converting into transsexuals, from transsexuals converting ourselves and 186 01:11:56,078 --> 01:12:00,315 being labeled film queens because we are what people come to see. 187 01:12:00,349 --> 01:12:04,653 [BLANK_AUDIO] 188 01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:14,363 I am truly proud to be what I am. 189 01:12:14,730 --> 01:12:18,033 I wouldn't be a female, I wouldn't be a man if I had the choice. 190 01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:21,503 And God willing, if I have to come back on this earth, 191 01:12:21,503 --> 01:12:22,838 I wanna come back a third gender. 192 01:12:23,138 --> 01:12:27,509 I refuse to come back anything else because I am so in tuned with who I am. 193 01:12:27,543 --> 01:12:29,078 [BLANK_AUDIO] 194 01:12:29,611 --> 01:12:33,716 They are afraid of me because I'm much more extraordinary, I'm much more exciting, 195 01:12:33,716 --> 01:12:35,684 I'm much more beautiful, I'm much more enchanting. 196 01:12:35,918 --> 01:12:39,955 I have powers of a man and the charm of a woman and it's dangerous. 197 01:12:40,289 --> 01:12:42,124 Octavia is my first gay daughter. 198 01:12:43,425 --> 01:12:43,459 [LAUGH] 199 01:12:44,093 --> 01:12:46,261 That little bitch used to give me a hard time. 200 01:12:47,663 --> 01:12:49,665 [BLANK_AUDIO] 201 01:12:51,233 --> 01:12:55,871 I'm strong and I keep saying the devil is always trying ways to make me 202 01:12:56,271 --> 01:12:58,974 feel like I'm nothing and I won't allow it. 203 01:13:01,477 --> 01:13:02,678 [MUSIC] 204 01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:16,492 The day that you're born, a candle is lit to guide and 205 01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:18,660 protect you, to give you wisdom and wit. 206 01:13:19,294 --> 01:13:22,398 The past you must choose wisely, you must follow them right. 207 01:13:23,165 --> 01:13:26,869 It's up to you to choose the past into the darkness or into the light. 208 01:13:27,636 --> 01:13:31,039 Beyond sight, body and soul, a power is passed. 209 01:13:31,974 --> 01:13:34,643 God's powerful voices shall reveal thy task. 210 01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:39,314 If you should succeed in life, your task has just begun. 211 01:13:39,882 --> 01:13:45,654 For you shall now know God has claimed you to be the chosen one. 212 01:13:46,522 --> 01:13:48,690 Transsexuals was a New York City deal. 213 01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:52,194 I was only 18 and Carmen was 19. 214 01:13:52,828 --> 01:13:59,234 This is me in 1985, that's Cindy Crawford, that's me, that's Diane Dewitt. 215 01:13:59,835 --> 01:14:06,542 The doctors were better, the surgeons were better, the hormones were better. 216 01:14:07,075 --> 01:14:10,512 And the transsexuals were considered the most beautiful in the world. 217 01:14:11,413 --> 01:14:16,452 So because of this, lots of transsexuals from other countries was coming here 218 01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:20,456 because where they from, they weren't getting the satisfaction of becoming women 219 01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:21,156 as they were. 220 01:14:22,257 --> 01:14:26,361 But when I was growing up, there weren't many transsexuals, 221 01:14:26,361 --> 01:14:27,729 there were more third genders. 222 01:14:28,664 --> 01:14:30,532 And this is what I was brought up to learn. 223 01:14:30,899 --> 01:14:34,336 Now there are very little third genders because half of them have already died 224 01:14:34,403 --> 01:14:38,907 from AIDS because of their lack of education, because of their lack of family 225 01:14:38,974 --> 01:14:43,278 values, because of their lack of morals and principles and family and 226 01:14:43,278 --> 01:14:44,079 friends support. 227 01:14:44,446 --> 01:14:47,583 These people had no knowledge of anything and anything they had to learn. 228 01:14:47,583 --> 01:14:50,219 They had to learn themselves and some of them had to die learning it. 229 01:14:51,119 --> 01:14:55,657 A lot of these girls think that if they get a vagina or they go to some doctor 230 01:14:55,657 --> 01:15:00,195 and let them cut off their penises and make it into a hole, that they can live 231 01:15:00,195 --> 01:15:03,999 the lives as a woman and they can get married and maybe adopt children. 232 01:15:04,233 --> 01:15:08,437 This is every transgender's fantasy, to have a rich white man. 233 01:15:09,738 --> 01:15:10,706 I don't understand that. 234 01:15:11,740 --> 01:15:16,345 But they fail to realize truth does not change. 235 01:15:18,213 --> 01:15:22,518 No matter how much you cut it up, no matter how much you camouflage it, 236 01:15:22,885 --> 01:15:26,788 no matter how much you deny it, truth cannot change. 237 01:15:27,689 --> 01:15:33,262 And that sends them over into a self-destructive pattern after they've 238 01:15:33,262 --> 01:15:35,764 decided to do the things in their life and 239 01:15:35,764 --> 01:15:39,268 they realize that now after the operation, 240 01:15:40,502 --> 01:15:46,642 they're nothing as opposed before they were special and no one was to help them 241 01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:47,609 recognize that. 242 01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:53,782 No one was around to let them know what you are is magnificent. 243 01:15:55,884 --> 01:16:05,394 You're so busy fighting, hating yourself because society has made you believe that 244 01:16:05,394 --> 01:16:11,833 you are nothing, that you actually became nothing by having this operation. 245 01:16:12,034 --> 01:16:31,553 Me being a third gender, I don't know what it 246 01:16:31,553 --> 01:16:35,023 is to be a man as far as a physical attribute. 247 01:16:35,657 --> 01:16:38,193 I never looked like a man and trust me my 248 01:16:38,193 --> 01:16:41,596 whole life I've tried until it got to a point 249 01:16:41,663 --> 01:16:44,933 where I had to accept myself for who I am and what I am. 250 01:16:44,933 --> 01:16:46,601 I don't know what it's like to grow a mustache. 251 01:16:47,102 --> 01:16:48,737 I don't know what it's like to grow a beard. 252 01:16:49,304 --> 01:16:51,039 I don't know what it's like to be big. 253 01:16:51,039 --> 01:16:54,409 I don't know what it's like to have a muscular body. 254 01:16:54,943 --> 01:16:57,479 And trust me my whole life I have worked at it. 255 01:16:59,081 --> 01:17:03,018 I couldn't stand myself for being this freak of nature that everybody's so 256 01:17:03,385 --> 01:17:06,321 viciously reminded me of every day of my life. 257 01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:09,558 When I was growing up, balls meant something. 258 01:17:10,225 --> 01:17:11,660 It meant that you were the best. 259 01:17:12,127 --> 01:17:13,795 It made you work hard at everything. 260 01:17:14,262 --> 01:17:18,133 It taught you about discipline and respecting 261 01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:21,903 yourself and having ambitions to do something 262 01:17:21,903 --> 01:17:23,605 that you thought would be impossible. 263 01:17:25,607 --> 01:17:31,980 Third gender is basically you're born with 264 01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:35,717 more female hormones than male and you don't 265 01:17:35,751 --> 01:17:37,686 have to do anything to make yourself look 266 01:17:37,686 --> 01:17:40,856 like a woman because only God knows you're 267 01:17:40,856 --> 01:17:42,958 a man but you look just like a girl. 268 01:17:43,425 --> 01:17:45,460 People are still concerned about what's 269 01:17:45,460 --> 01:17:48,163 between my legs instead of knowing and I said to him 270 01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:49,865 you know we could just be friends. 271 01:17:50,265 --> 01:17:52,267 He was even too conservative to be my friend. 272 01:18:05,714 --> 01:18:12,387 I don't understand people and how weak and 273 01:18:12,387 --> 01:18:16,258 insecure men are or women are that they can't 274 01:18:16,258 --> 01:18:19,094 even confront me as an individual without 275 01:18:19,094 --> 01:18:21,196 looking at me as some sort of sex toy that 276 01:18:21,196 --> 01:18:22,664 they're attracted to and they're trying to 277 01:18:22,664 --> 01:18:25,701 avoid it by treating me like I'm absolutely 278 01:18:25,901 --> 01:18:26,401 nothing. 279 01:18:26,668 --> 01:18:28,437 And I was totally overwhelmed. 280 01:18:28,637 --> 01:18:30,405 It really took me for a loop. 281 01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:36,144 I'm strong and I keep saying you know I can't let that bring me down. 282 01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:46,855 When you're young you have no fear because you're naive to a lot of things. 283 01:18:47,389 --> 01:18:50,392 But as I started making money in the 284 01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:53,895 fashion business and became more and more popular 285 01:18:54,496 --> 01:19:03,472 slowly an insecurity set in is today's a day that people will find out about Tracy 286 01:19:03,772 --> 01:19:05,841 and who she really is. 287 01:19:06,508 --> 01:19:09,611 And if so how will they accept that? 288 01:19:14,983 --> 01:19:19,421 Back in the 70s I started out as a model and 289 01:19:19,421 --> 01:19:22,390 I was discovered by Irving Penn and my first 290 01:19:22,524 --> 01:19:25,994 contract was with Clerol and I was on their 291 01:19:25,994 --> 01:19:29,397 hair color boxes and I signed another contract 292 01:19:29,498 --> 01:19:31,967 with Ultra Sheen Cosmetics. 293 01:19:37,305 --> 01:19:40,041 The third contract that I signed here in New 294 01:19:40,041 --> 01:19:45,180 York was with the Avon skincare products when 295 01:19:45,180 --> 01:19:48,316 they were promoting a new line for women of color. 296 01:19:49,084 --> 01:19:51,853 I lasted for at least two and a half years 297 01:19:51,853 --> 01:19:55,791 in New York City before someone actually found 298 01:19:55,857 --> 01:20:00,462 out and what happened was a part of the history. 299 01:20:00,762 --> 01:20:01,863 The doors closed. 300 01:20:22,517 --> 01:20:25,554 A house is like a family you know a home. 301 01:20:26,221 --> 01:20:28,156 I mean for us it's always been that. 302 01:20:28,156 --> 01:20:33,028 I mean we always have been and tried to be very family orientated. 303 01:20:33,428 --> 01:20:35,363 Whereas okay this one doesn't have a place 304 01:20:35,363 --> 01:20:38,466 to go here come with me you know you don't 305 01:20:38,466 --> 01:20:41,002 have an outfit here wear this or don't have 306 01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:42,837 any money to get into the ball or for whatever 307 01:20:42,938 --> 01:20:46,107 here you know you're hungry here you know let's eat. 308 01:20:46,775 --> 01:20:49,778 A lot of kids you know their parents don't 309 01:20:49,778 --> 01:20:52,547 accept the lifestyle that they've chosen to 310 01:20:52,547 --> 01:20:55,850 live and which is where we come in and we 311 01:20:55,850 --> 01:20:58,453 try to we try to feel voids for each other. 312 01:21:01,756 --> 01:21:04,125 I may have an emptiness inside of me maybe 313 01:21:04,125 --> 01:21:06,895 of a of a brother that I never had one of 314 01:21:06,895 --> 01:21:09,297 my dad's brothers will fill in you know to 315 01:21:09,297 --> 01:21:12,601 the fullest and it'll make me feel like wow 316 01:21:12,601 --> 01:21:13,535 it's really my family. 317 01:21:15,070 --> 01:21:17,305 I'm all about love peace and respect. 318 01:21:17,739 --> 01:21:20,609 I love helping people and that's what makes 319 01:21:20,609 --> 01:21:23,411 me you know want to come back besides just 320 01:21:23,878 --> 01:21:26,314 bogging dancing and carrying on because 321 01:21:26,314 --> 01:21:29,351 these people supported me and you know they gave 322 01:21:29,351 --> 01:21:32,754 me a attention and love and respect and that's 323 01:21:32,754 --> 01:21:35,257 what I usually don't get in the outside world. 324 01:21:37,792 --> 01:21:42,797 A house is an organization more like a gang 325 01:21:42,797 --> 01:21:47,035 it's a gay gang they protect each other they 326 01:21:47,035 --> 01:21:49,237 watch each other's backs it's a really 327 01:21:49,237 --> 01:21:52,674 good place good you know people to be with and 328 01:21:52,674 --> 01:21:59,314 it's very important to know who legends are because they teach you how it's done. 329 01:22:00,081 --> 01:22:02,684 I think I'm like one of the youngest people 330 01:22:02,684 --> 01:22:05,220 of my age and I was like really doing it up 331 01:22:05,253 --> 01:22:07,722 in the ballroom scene and I'm bragging but 332 01:22:07,722 --> 01:22:10,659 I think it's true and it makes me kind of 333 01:22:10,659 --> 01:22:15,096 feel good because you know like I have people out in public oh that's Roxy. 334 01:22:15,563 --> 01:22:17,465 A lot of kids don't get along with their 335 01:22:17,465 --> 01:22:19,901 parents so we're like foster parents so they're able 336 01:22:19,901 --> 01:22:21,803 to come talk to us about their problems 337 01:22:21,803 --> 01:22:24,506 and we like to give them guidance in life too 338 01:22:24,739 --> 01:22:27,876 like making sure they have a job making sure they go to school. 339 01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:34,182 My advice to parents with a child like 340 01:22:34,182 --> 01:22:38,953 Octavia is not to fight them it's not going to help 341 01:22:39,688 --> 01:22:43,058 help them in every way and love them as they are. 342 01:22:49,197 --> 01:22:51,266 I call my mom I'll get in contact with my 343 01:22:51,266 --> 01:22:54,035 father and we always start and end our conversations 344 01:22:54,169 --> 01:22:56,304 with I love you and that is right there 345 01:22:56,304 --> 01:22:58,773 just I love that because I need that support in 346 01:22:58,773 --> 01:22:59,240 my life. 347 01:22:59,674 --> 01:23:02,277 I would do anything for her because she's done everything for me. 348 01:23:03,178 --> 01:23:09,851 She's given me inspiration why because my mother's wheelchair bound but she's never 349 01:23:09,851 --> 01:23:10,785 stopped her. 350 01:23:12,253 --> 01:23:14,356 The first ball I ever walked she was there to support. 351 01:23:15,156 --> 01:23:17,759 It was my sophomore year 1995 roughly 352 01:23:17,759 --> 01:23:22,163 February and when I ran away from my mother and for 353 01:23:22,263 --> 01:23:25,700 that whole year of 1995 she was so upset at 354 01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:27,535 me she couldn't believe that her baby left 355 01:23:27,635 --> 01:23:30,405 her and I felt bad that I did that to her 356 01:23:30,405 --> 01:23:33,174 but I had to do it because I wanted to follow 357 01:23:33,541 --> 01:23:35,877 my dreams I wanted to educate myself 358 01:23:35,877 --> 01:23:37,779 better and I felt like I was going to be able to 359 01:23:37,779 --> 01:23:38,646 do that in New York. 360 01:23:38,980 --> 01:23:41,583 My own family had thrown me out and you 361 01:23:41,583 --> 01:23:46,054 know they weren't really you know my parents or 362 01:23:46,054 --> 01:23:48,356 my brothers and sisters but to me they were 363 01:23:48,356 --> 01:23:50,525 you know in life you learn that your friends 364 01:23:50,525 --> 01:23:56,664 are your family and they're the ones who made me who I am today. 365 01:23:57,632 --> 01:23:58,967 My dad on the other hand was a little 366 01:23:58,967 --> 01:24:01,603 rough on me he didn't understand what was going 367 01:24:01,603 --> 01:24:03,705 on too much but he's fine now. 368 01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:09,644 My mom always knew you know my dad also 369 01:24:09,644 --> 01:24:13,815 even though it was it was never discussed never 370 01:24:14,582 --> 01:24:16,184 never been disrespected either. 371 01:24:16,451 --> 01:24:20,755 My father was black he was a Muslim and he 372 01:24:20,755 --> 01:24:22,624 was very open-minded he was in the military 373 01:24:22,624 --> 01:24:24,659 he traveled the world he's been around the 374 01:24:24,659 --> 01:24:26,394 globe so he was very open-minded as far as 375 01:24:26,428 --> 01:24:31,266 friends they accepted me right away so I had a pretty pretty easy life as far as my 376 01:24:31,266 --> 01:24:33,535 parents were concerned they were very supportive of me. 377 01:24:33,535 --> 01:24:35,270 After seven years of being a transsexual 378 01:24:35,270 --> 01:24:37,505 that's when I received the respect and the love for 379 01:24:37,505 --> 01:24:38,640 my mom and my dad. 380 01:24:43,111 --> 01:24:44,612 I get a lot of support more from my mother 381 01:24:44,612 --> 01:24:46,381 and my brother more or less than my father 382 01:24:46,381 --> 01:24:47,916 but he do accept my homosexuality. 383 01:24:53,955 --> 01:24:57,892 I have always been and always will be her daughter. 384 01:24:59,294 --> 01:25:01,463 I remember the first person in my family I 385 01:25:01,463 --> 01:25:03,865 told that I was gay was my sister Michelle 386 01:25:03,865 --> 01:25:09,037 and I used the example of a TV program that 387 01:25:09,037 --> 01:25:12,173 was on there was a character who was gay and 388 01:25:12,173 --> 01:25:17,078 then I had to explain to my younger sister that I'm like Jodi it was called Soap. 389 01:25:25,753 --> 01:25:28,089 Parents that have children that are going 390 01:25:28,089 --> 01:25:30,592 through transformation is to give them all 391 01:25:30,592 --> 01:25:33,595 the love and all the support. 392 01:25:34,229 --> 01:25:39,234 You don't give them love and support you're gonna lose them. 393 01:25:39,834 --> 01:25:41,536 They're just gonna go wild they're gonna be 394 01:25:41,536 --> 01:25:44,172 lost jewels they're gonna need all the love 395 01:25:44,172 --> 01:25:46,574 all the support that you can give them. 396 01:25:50,178 --> 01:25:52,680 When I was rock bottom and I had no money 397 01:25:52,680 --> 01:25:54,983 nowhere to go I had to do what I had to do 398 01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,017 in order to maintain. 399 01:25:58,620 --> 01:26:01,222 Angie mother infinity she has helped me so 400 01:26:01,222 --> 01:26:03,491 much even when I didn't have a place to stay 401 01:26:03,491 --> 01:26:05,660 she she was like come here come to my house 402 01:26:05,660 --> 01:26:08,897 she gave me my first hormone shot so that's 403 01:26:08,897 --> 01:26:09,297 the mother. 404 01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:16,204 I think I make a good mother I support my kids I try to guide them the right way. 405 01:26:17,338 --> 01:26:20,074 It's really hard to be transgender because 406 01:26:20,074 --> 01:26:22,043 you have to deal with a lot of criticism and 407 01:26:22,043 --> 01:26:26,581 a lot of judgment and if you don't do it right people will put you down. 408 01:26:27,181 --> 01:26:32,186 When I began hormonal treatment I went to Callen-Lorde it's a health center for the 409 01:26:32,186 --> 01:26:33,154 GLBT community. 410 01:26:33,555 --> 01:26:34,956 They didn't want to give me hormones 411 01:26:34,956 --> 01:26:38,326 straight off the back they just wanted me to go to 412 01:26:38,326 --> 01:26:41,729 therapy and get counseling sessions and I did. 413 01:26:48,336 --> 01:26:51,506 I've always had a passion wanting to attend 414 01:26:51,506 --> 01:26:54,709 college ever since I was little like someone 415 01:26:55,043 --> 01:26:57,879 like my teachers my mom my father my family 416 01:26:57,879 --> 01:26:59,514 everyone they would always say that college 417 01:26:59,514 --> 01:27:00,882 is the key to success. 418 01:27:05,119 --> 01:27:06,521 Welcome to Syracuse University. 419 01:27:08,423 --> 01:27:10,725 I wouldn't be able to show them that I'm in 420 01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:12,994 school right there next to you sitting right 421 01:27:12,994 --> 01:27:13,861 next to you in your classroom. 422 01:27:14,462 --> 01:27:16,564 I try to stay strong because I want my head 423 01:27:16,564 --> 01:27:19,200 into the books you know like a boyfriend will 424 01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:21,336 so distract me and so if my head is in the 425 01:27:21,336 --> 01:27:24,272 books I can just stay focused and till at 426 01:27:24,272 --> 01:27:25,173 least graduation. 427 01:27:31,746 --> 01:27:34,782 Walking balls boosts me up in terms of self esteem. 428 01:27:35,383 --> 01:27:37,885 I'm still nervous even to this day I walk 429 01:27:37,885 --> 01:27:40,021 the category that I slayed and conquered and 430 01:27:40,355 --> 01:27:41,356 I still get nervous. 431 01:27:44,459 --> 01:27:46,794 I'm still a street boy in front of me now. 432 01:27:47,762 --> 01:27:50,798 Doing gum too much or swinging their arms up 433 01:27:50,798 --> 01:27:52,600 if they act like they can't really do nothing 434 01:27:52,600 --> 01:27:54,135 with their hands like if they keep fondling 435 01:27:54,135 --> 01:27:58,172 with their hands and stuff that's not something 436 01:27:58,172 --> 01:28:00,775 a heterosexual male would do so I would chop 437 01:28:00,775 --> 01:28:03,144 them for that or you know just loose the probably 438 01:28:03,144 --> 01:28:04,846 the eyebrows on the arch or they probably 439 01:28:04,846 --> 01:28:07,682 wear baseball cap down too low those are signs 440 01:28:07,682 --> 01:28:09,684 that they hot and something so I would chop them for that. 441 01:28:18,326 --> 01:28:25,233 When you judge a ball you're supposed to know exactly what the flyer is asking for. 442 01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:29,237 I am a stickler for reading the flyer and 443 01:28:29,237 --> 01:28:32,273 bringing it as the flyer says when someone 444 01:28:32,373 --> 01:28:34,709 asks me to judge their ball I usually have 445 01:28:34,709 --> 01:28:37,445 the flyer right in front of me so when you 446 01:28:37,478 --> 01:28:44,085 walk I read the flyer and if it says teeth, 447 01:28:45,186 --> 01:28:49,624 skin, structure, nose and I tell you to smile 448 01:28:50,458 --> 01:28:51,993 and you're missing some furniture in your 449 01:28:51,993 --> 01:28:57,065 living room and I spin you on your way don't 450 01:28:57,065 --> 01:29:02,437 get upset with me because you didn't see the dentist read the flyer. 451 01:29:08,443 --> 01:29:10,745 When they're going there to compete amongst one 452 01:29:10,745 --> 01:29:14,916 another they're no longer gay people competing 453 01:29:15,049 --> 01:29:18,019 for a trophy they're in their minds 454 01:29:18,019 --> 01:29:24,158 competing for respect they're competing for harmage 455 01:29:25,460 --> 01:29:28,396 they're competing to be the best of the best 456 01:29:28,396 --> 01:29:33,000 that's why they it's so it's such an exciting 457 01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:39,707 event because this is not out of fun for them this is a part of their lives. 458 01:29:40,842 --> 01:29:51,986 The first ball that I ever walked I believe 459 01:29:51,986 --> 01:29:55,823 and I remember being so scared of losing that 460 01:29:55,823 --> 01:29:58,793 I wanted I was moving so fast I mean I was 461 01:29:58,793 --> 01:30:01,095 like a machine like a robot and I remember 462 01:30:01,162 --> 01:30:03,331 okay I'll just do everything really fast so 463 01:30:03,331 --> 01:30:05,500 I won't get chopped so they'll see everything 464 01:30:05,500 --> 01:30:07,869 that I've been working on and practicing and 465 01:30:07,869 --> 01:30:10,204 not giving the chance to put up a nine because 466 01:30:10,204 --> 01:30:12,073 they'll see everything so I remember 467 01:30:12,073 --> 01:30:15,943 voguing at like 150 miles per hour at the speed of 468 01:30:15,943 --> 01:30:19,981 light and people would just I don't think it was so much the voguing I think it was 469 01:30:19,981 --> 01:30:22,183 like oh my god he's voguing so fast that they 470 01:30:22,183 --> 01:30:25,486 were like overwhelmed by you know it was almost 471 01:30:25,486 --> 01:30:27,221 like I was gonna take off like a helicopter. 472 01:30:32,560 --> 01:30:36,297 When somebody's first walking a ball and they 473 01:30:36,297 --> 01:30:39,901 get chopped or they don't win they get discouraged 474 01:30:40,301 --> 01:30:42,370 and you know you got to be there for them 475 01:30:42,370 --> 01:30:45,039 and I tell them it's just a ball and you go 476 01:30:45,039 --> 01:30:48,743 and tap that person and you tell them guess what I'll see you on the runway. 477 01:30:50,545 --> 01:30:53,080 If the commentator doesn't know who you are 478 01:30:53,080 --> 01:30:55,616 that's one thing what a person needs to do 479 01:30:55,616 --> 01:30:57,885 is when they hit that floor they have to show 480 01:30:57,885 --> 01:30:59,520 the confidence to make the commentator realize 481 01:31:00,121 --> 01:31:01,456 and recognize who they are. 482 01:31:02,089 --> 01:31:05,059 If not then that could affect your whole confidence level. 483 01:31:06,794 --> 01:31:09,630 A good judge is someone that's actually 484 01:31:09,630 --> 01:31:12,400 read the ball flyer people that have experience 485 01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:14,535 in the ballroom scene that has been walking 486 01:31:14,535 --> 01:31:17,004 for years that has been judging for years. 487 01:31:18,739 --> 01:31:21,175 When I'm asked to judge I have a certain 488 01:31:21,175 --> 01:31:23,945 standard that I look at or if I go by what the flyer's 489 01:31:23,945 --> 01:31:26,180 asking for and if the person is serving 490 01:31:26,180 --> 01:31:28,349 that way we all understand who it is and it's a 491 01:31:28,382 --> 01:31:31,385 shame to say but it's the truth it's the girlfriend thing or if your girlfriend is 492 01:31:31,385 --> 01:31:37,492 walking they automatically get your 10 and that's not how it's supposed to be. 493 01:31:47,368 --> 01:31:51,439 It takes courage to actually go up on the runway and have somebody judge you. 494 01:31:52,273 --> 01:31:54,342 My first time I was real nervous because I 495 01:31:54,342 --> 01:31:56,577 never knew what ballroom was or how it was 496 01:31:56,611 --> 01:31:59,914 to be gay or how to have a ballroom attitude. 497 01:32:02,617 --> 01:32:04,986 This kid just to come up and say you know 498 01:32:04,986 --> 01:32:07,154 you're a big inspiration I like your effects 499 01:32:07,154 --> 01:32:09,824 you know you're different you know it gave 500 01:32:09,824 --> 01:32:12,059 meaning I mean okay I'm doing something right. 501 01:32:17,899 --> 01:32:20,234 I found a place where I could feel 502 01:32:20,234 --> 01:32:22,603 accepted and feel wanted just for being who I am. 503 01:32:22,603 --> 01:32:28,843 I was one of those kids that actually sat back and 504 01:32:28,843 --> 01:32:31,746 learned and watched before I put myself out there. 505 01:32:34,649 --> 01:32:37,585 I just want to be in one stable house and build 506 01:32:37,585 --> 01:32:40,154 my name and my foundation within that one house 507 01:32:40,154 --> 01:32:42,857 so you know I can excel and maybe one day 508 01:32:42,857 --> 01:32:45,326 become that legend and I can be on that panel 509 01:32:45,326 --> 01:32:47,595 and judge the new kids that's coming up. 510 01:32:52,600 --> 01:32:56,304 [Music] 511 01:32:58,839 --> 01:33:03,110 Trophies will not feed the hungry, coat the homeless, hide the scars. 512 01:33:04,178 --> 01:33:07,748 Grand prizes will not bring Lazarus or LaBeija back from the dead. 513 01:33:08,282 --> 01:33:10,685 They will just sit in your closet fake idols 514 01:33:10,685 --> 01:33:13,788 gathering dust before the gold paint chips away. 515 01:33:14,455 --> 01:33:18,125 You cannot sell them for freedom. You cannot trade them in for love. 516 01:33:22,630 --> 01:33:27,301 [Music] 517 01:33:29,604 --> 01:33:34,442 We all have the ability to do something that we want to do. 518 01:33:35,042 --> 01:33:40,247 It just depends on how we go about it and when we go about it. 519 01:33:40,247 --> 01:33:42,316 You know I would hate to go through life saying 520 01:33:42,316 --> 01:33:44,218 oh I should have tried this I should have did this. 521 01:33:44,518 --> 01:33:46,621 So I'm one of those people who's always going to try 522 01:33:46,621 --> 01:33:49,590 something at least once to see if it's going to work for me. 523 01:33:49,623 --> 01:33:51,826 And this is one of those things that I said you know 524 01:33:51,826 --> 01:33:54,895 what I'm not working right now I could use some money. 525 01:33:55,162 --> 01:33:58,165 I have this skill I have this talent let me put it together. 526 01:33:58,165 --> 01:34:02,403 I have some business sense and let me let it work for me and it did. 527 01:34:03,004 --> 01:34:04,905 [Music] 528 01:34:06,307 --> 01:34:11,679 The ball community can be a wonderful training ground for up 529 01:34:11,679 --> 01:34:15,583 and coming designers and models if that's where you're going. 530 01:34:16,617 --> 01:34:25,793 As the world evolved the balls evolved and then the dance moves evolved like 531 01:34:25,793 --> 01:34:29,263 everything evolves as time goes by so it's 532 01:34:29,263 --> 01:34:31,332 definitely very important to document that. 533 01:34:35,136 --> 01:34:37,605 [Music] I definitely don't want people to know that I'm actually taking their picture 534 01:34:37,605 --> 01:34:41,342 because when they're natural you get true feeling behind it. 535 01:34:42,309 --> 01:34:44,645 There's nothing false about it. It's all real. 536 01:34:45,613 --> 01:34:50,184 I think when people look at the pictures that I take they see reality and it's so 537 01:34:50,184 --> 01:34:54,221 intense that it's almost like you want to be part of that. 538 01:34:55,423 --> 01:34:57,658 [Music] 539 01:34:58,626 --> 01:35:02,129 Being involved in the ball community definitely inspires me. 540 01:35:02,730 --> 01:35:06,167 When people look at the actual picture they actually feel like they're in it. 541 01:35:06,167 --> 01:35:08,569 They're in the picture that they're looking at. 542 01:35:09,003 --> 01:35:12,306 I have this escape I can go to and be with 543 01:35:12,306 --> 01:35:15,976 these fun people and see all this great energy. 544 01:35:17,044 --> 01:35:19,580 [Music] 545 01:35:23,684 --> 01:35:27,655 It's very inspiring to see people sew gun ho 546 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:31,592 about a particular category and pulling it off right. 547 01:35:31,625 --> 01:35:40,167 [Music] 548 01:35:43,604 --> 01:35:47,141 I am the father of the house. I am the founder of 549 01:35:47,141 --> 01:35:51,278 the House of Infinity and I founded the house in 1990. 550 01:35:53,748 --> 01:35:57,284 First I asked them what made them want to come to the House of Infinity. 551 01:35:58,152 --> 01:36:00,755 You know what can we offer them? Their answer. 552 01:36:02,623 --> 01:36:07,194 Love, trust, understanding and most of all unity. 553 01:36:10,598 --> 01:36:12,700 And that's what the House of Infinity is all about. 554 01:36:12,700 --> 01:36:15,102 Being a family, you know helping each other, 555 01:36:15,503 --> 01:36:17,605 looking out for one another in any time of need. 556 01:36:17,638 --> 01:36:19,273 [Music] 557 01:36:46,600 --> 01:36:56,177 [Music] 558 01:36:58,579 --> 01:37:02,516 The legendary Avis Pindavis and the legendary Dorian Corey. 559 01:37:02,917 --> 01:37:06,187 They creations would you know really open up my eyes 560 01:37:06,187 --> 01:37:10,357 to really go into bizarre at the ball and futuristic. 561 01:37:10,624 --> 01:37:16,163 And if we don't keep it in our hearts how it used to be and 562 01:37:16,163 --> 01:37:21,235 how we compete against one another at these balls and what not. 563 01:37:22,403 --> 01:37:25,506 To remember that we have to still love one 564 01:37:25,506 --> 01:37:29,076 another and keep a good tradition going on. 565 01:37:29,543 --> 01:37:32,379 To order to be a good winner you have to be a good loser. 566 01:37:32,813 --> 01:37:38,118 A person that can hug its opponent and walk off with pride. 567 01:37:38,619 --> 01:37:41,956 [Music] 568 01:37:43,123 --> 01:37:46,060 When I go to a ball I'm always prepared. I have 569 01:37:46,060 --> 01:37:51,165 Band-Aid, Bobby pins, powders, deodorant, face wash, Mac makeup. 570 01:37:51,565 --> 01:37:54,935 I might not have your color but I have it all and 571 01:37:54,935 --> 01:37:58,606 I guess that's why I was voted mother of the year. 572 01:37:59,740 --> 01:38:04,712 Since 95 I've won women's face seven years in a row at the awards ball. 573 01:38:05,112 --> 01:38:11,018 This past year I won mother of the year which was never done by a lesbian before. 574 01:38:13,621 --> 01:38:16,657 You can't just get your face made up and just walk out. 575 01:38:16,957 --> 01:38:21,662 When you come out you have to come out with confidence and with a glow like a aura 576 01:38:21,662 --> 01:38:23,597 or the judges will not pay you attention. 577 01:38:23,631 --> 01:38:28,769 You have to come out there like you know you deserve that trophy. 578 01:38:29,837 --> 01:38:31,805 Everything is a blank to me when I walk. 579 01:38:32,273 --> 01:38:36,744 The only thing I see is the front of the judges panel and that's it if I see that 580 01:38:36,744 --> 01:38:39,747 because sometimes I'll focus on the back of the 581 01:38:39,747 --> 01:38:42,583 wall and just everything is blocked out to me. 582 01:38:42,616 --> 01:38:48,088 [Music] 583 01:38:48,622 --> 01:38:51,458 Since my outfit at the awards ball was made by 584 01:38:51,458 --> 01:38:55,796 designer Angel LaScaia as well as my jewelry and my headpiece. 585 01:38:56,897 --> 01:39:01,168 I prepared myself for that night by not eating. I was 586 01:39:01,168 --> 01:39:05,773 actually very nervous and smoking a lot of cigarettes. 587 01:39:06,173 --> 01:39:08,575 In the beginning I wasn't winning and I wasn't feeling it. 588 01:39:08,642 --> 01:39:12,346 So when I started winning I started putting more effort into it. 589 01:39:12,880 --> 01:39:18,052 I would make sure like watch over my designers make sure my outfit was perfect. 590 01:39:19,053 --> 01:39:23,390 I would sell it in the mirror for like hours because I 591 01:39:23,390 --> 01:39:26,460 was always told you have to sell it like a femme queen. 592 01:39:27,394 --> 01:39:29,296 [Music] 593 01:39:33,367 --> 01:39:38,539 When I walk face and you hear from the sidelines sell it bitch. 594 01:39:39,340 --> 01:39:42,843 I don't really take bitch negatively in that aspect. 595 01:39:42,843 --> 01:39:46,213 I actually take it as being positive because you're walking. 596 01:39:46,780 --> 01:39:48,515 You're getting the audience hot because you're 597 01:39:48,515 --> 01:39:50,818 selling it and they want you to sell it more. 598 01:39:50,818 --> 01:39:52,987 So they're like sell it bitch so it gets you 599 01:39:52,987 --> 01:39:55,589 excited and it gets you hot so you sell it more. 600 01:39:56,557 --> 01:40:01,829 After a ball your emotions wind down. If you had a successful night, if your house 601 01:40:01,829 --> 01:40:04,298 had a successful night, your emotions are high. 602 01:40:04,531 --> 01:40:06,200 You want to go out to eat, you want to go to the 603 01:40:06,200 --> 01:40:08,802 club, you want to go anywhere just to keep the high going. 604 01:40:10,237 --> 01:40:13,273 If you had a, you know, if you lost that night and 605 01:40:13,273 --> 01:40:16,744 you're feeling kind of down, you just like to unwind at home. 606 01:40:16,744 --> 01:40:19,813 Maybe go home, have a nice cup of tea and go to sleep. 607 01:40:20,614 --> 01:40:26,387 We tolerate no violence or disrespect to one another as well as anyone who is 608 01:40:26,387 --> 01:40:29,556 disrespectful to the house name by being a 609 01:40:29,556 --> 01:40:33,394 quote-unquote troublemaker will be expelled from the house. 610 01:40:33,861 --> 01:40:36,063 The ballroom community has been incredibly influential 611 01:40:36,063 --> 01:40:39,600 in the worlds of fashion and music and style and language. 612 01:41:09,596 --> 01:41:12,833 I am E and the end is what I just did 613 01:41:12,833 --> 01:41:14,802 And the wire door extra box 614 01:41:14,802 --> 01:41:16,703 This is what he's fixin' for 615 01:41:16,703 --> 01:41:18,605 Now I'm a GTT for she 616 01:41:18,605 --> 01:41:20,441 All the girls with a PPP 617 01:41:20,607 --> 01:41:24,912 Remember, all Avers of them used to tell me what was good and what was bad 618 01:41:24,912 --> 01:41:30,918 And I learned, but now these days, the new generation is hard 619 01:41:30,918 --> 01:41:33,554 Because they take everything as shade 620 01:41:33,620 --> 01:41:35,122 They think everything is shade 621 01:41:35,622 --> 01:41:37,591 I gotta feel it, and they gotta feel it 622 01:41:37,624 --> 01:41:43,197 And I know, when I make them feel it, it's like, oh, I have to get this trophy 623 01:41:43,597 --> 01:41:44,865 I have to get this tense 624 01:41:44,865 --> 01:41:46,834 I gotta make the girls know it 625 01:41:47,568 --> 01:41:50,471 So it's that energy that's between the 626 01:41:50,471 --> 01:41:53,540 commentator and the, you know, the people that's competing 627 01:41:56,610 --> 01:42:00,447 When you're voguing fem fem fem just to get your ticketee ten ten ten 628 01:42:00,614 --> 01:42:02,616 You're the creme de la cookie creme creme creme 629 01:42:02,616 --> 01:42:03,817 Let me see you stop 630 01:42:04,785 --> 01:42:06,019 Show in 631 01:42:06,019 --> 01:42:07,821 The girls can't take my life, fight 632 01:42:07,821 --> 01:42:09,756 The girls can't take my shade, shade 633 01:42:09,756 --> 01:42:11,758 The girls can't take my plate, plate 634 01:42:11,758 --> 01:42:15,295 The girls can't take my attitude 635 01:42:15,295 --> 01:42:17,297 The girls can't take my chicken, too 636 01:42:17,297 --> 01:42:18,899 The girls can't take my life 637 01:42:18,899 --> 01:42:24,371 2001 is gone 638 01:42:25,606 --> 01:42:27,574 2002 has passed 639 01:42:28,609 --> 01:42:30,577 2003 is no longer here 640 01:42:31,612 --> 01:42:33,213 2004 no longer exist 641 01:42:33,714 --> 01:42:35,883 2005 are you ready? 642 01:42:36,483 --> 01:42:39,186 So you see, they take that and they run with it, okay? 643 01:42:39,386 --> 01:42:42,122 But I'm not giving the credibility because I'm not on the mic 644 01:42:42,122 --> 01:42:43,323 But that's okay 645 01:42:43,624 --> 01:42:46,460 Because that's just how the game runs 646 01:42:46,460 --> 01:42:53,901 People are doing it again, people are, they 647 01:42:53,901 --> 01:42:56,737 are wanting it again, they are feeling it again 648 01:42:56,737 --> 01:42:58,605 I mean, face it, it's the true gay dance 649 01:43:03,644 --> 01:43:10,083 They do it, they do it, they do it 650 01:43:10,450 --> 01:43:13,453 Madonna did something, the next thing that 651 01:43:13,453 --> 01:43:15,856 came along in what Madonna has been doing 652 01:43:16,657 --> 01:43:22,062 Capturing trends, she really did wonderful for the House of Extravaganza 653 01:43:22,062 --> 01:43:25,299 The great exposition and the money that they made taking them on tour 654 01:43:25,632 --> 01:43:29,736 [music] 655 01:43:29,903 --> 01:43:35,776 Vogueing was actually manufactured on Rikers Island in jail 656 01:43:35,776 --> 01:43:39,780 At first was presentation, then they called it performance 657 01:43:39,780 --> 01:43:43,350 It didn't become vogueing until the 80s 658 01:43:43,350 --> 01:43:46,720 [music] 659 01:43:48,789 --> 01:43:53,594 I was what, 15 when I first met Madonna in Sound Factory 660 01:43:53,627 --> 01:43:56,663 And I mean, I remember her saying to me, she didn't 661 01:43:56,663 --> 01:44:00,033 understand how so much talent came out of such a little body 662 01:44:03,604 --> 01:44:09,543 I think that what she was so amazed by was, in your face, 663 01:44:09,876 --> 01:44:13,046 I'm real, this is what it is, take it or leave it, attitude 664 01:44:13,046 --> 01:44:17,184 And it was something that we didn't have to try very hard to do 665 01:44:17,184 --> 01:44:19,453 It was just the way we were, you know, it 666 01:44:19,453 --> 01:44:21,588 was what we projected, it was what we lived for 667 01:44:21,622 --> 01:44:26,393 To just be in your face, yes I'm fabulous and you can't tell me different 668 01:44:26,860 --> 01:44:30,464 Yeah, I was always a little spiteful, shady, I was the 669 01:44:30,464 --> 01:44:33,300 shadiest one, I was the youngest one, I was the most spoiled one 670 01:44:33,900 --> 01:44:37,904 But I think she was more, she was like, don't you realize what you're doing? 671 01:44:38,338 --> 01:44:41,575 I think that it came so natural to me, that it was nothing 672 01:44:43,610 --> 01:44:48,482 I didn't learn to appreciate what I had accomplished so much later in life 673 01:44:48,615 --> 01:44:55,122 I was so young, you know, and I think with her, it was also a thing where she would 674 01:44:55,122 --> 01:44:59,526 just like, you know, she would just play the music and watch me do my thing 675 01:44:59,626 --> 01:45:06,099 And next thing you know, she wanted everyone to do what I was doing, you know, and 676 01:45:06,099 --> 01:45:09,036 everyone had to be still and watch Jose at times 677 01:45:09,036 --> 01:45:12,839 Everyone had to be still and watch Jose and Louis, you know, do their thing 678 01:45:12,839 --> 01:45:17,377 And just from watching her, I was like, wow, this woman is really impressed by me 679 01:45:17,611 --> 01:45:23,150 It's Athena Trutha Dera actually, where she's just like, you know, just kissing my 680 01:45:23,150 --> 01:45:27,854 feet and I'm like standing there like, okay, I have one of the biggest stars in the 681 01:45:27,854 --> 01:45:30,023 universe just telling me how incredible I am 682 01:45:30,290 --> 01:45:33,193 And she's at my feet, I think it should be the other way 683 01:45:33,193 --> 01:45:36,029 around, you know, because I was always a big fan of hers too 684 01:45:36,563 --> 01:45:39,599 And it was amazing to get the opportunity to go and work with her 685 01:45:39,599 --> 01:45:46,640 I think it's something that you feel, you know, that's what street voguing is to me 686 01:45:46,640 --> 01:45:49,843 More of a rough urban, you know, in your 687 01:45:49,843 --> 01:45:53,747 face type of, it's like acting out your dreams 688 01:45:53,747 --> 01:45:57,584 I was a dreamer, I was curious, you know, there 689 01:45:57,584 --> 01:46:00,187 was a certain mystery to everything I wanted to know 690 01:46:00,187 --> 01:46:03,056 I wanted to, if you said to me, don't put your hand 691 01:46:03,056 --> 01:46:05,425 there, that's where I was going to lay it down first 692 01:46:05,625 --> 01:46:11,398 All the goatee gigs, Francesco Scobullo working with 693 01:46:11,398 --> 01:46:13,734 all the amazing photographers, those were all highlights 694 01:46:13,734 --> 01:46:19,406 I mean, not even just gigs, just highlight moment, you know, I'm meeting Elizabeth 695 01:46:19,406 --> 01:46:25,579 Taylor, incredible moment, you know, having her tell me how incredible I am 696 01:46:26,613 --> 01:46:32,152 You're an athlete, I like to see it as, you know, so dress for it, you know, so I 697 01:46:32,152 --> 01:46:34,988 started that whole cat suit and, you know, 698 01:46:36,022 --> 01:46:39,459 knee pads and hot shorts and, you know, no shirt 699 01:46:39,626 --> 01:46:44,331 And just really like, you know, adding to what I'm doing, which is voguing 700 01:46:55,642 --> 01:46:58,645 Performance, also known as vogue, is the art of 701 01:46:58,645 --> 01:47:01,414 improvising dance and drama-oriented modeling presentations 702 01:47:01,615 --> 01:47:05,886 It is the interchanging of poses, struts, and ethnic dance gestures 703 01:47:12,626 --> 01:47:17,063 Expressions of famous entertainers such as Alvin Ailey, Diana Ross, and Beverly 704 01:47:17,063 --> 01:47:19,599 Johnson inspired those who imitated them at 705 01:47:19,599 --> 01:47:21,601 showcase venues and New York Correctional Facilities 706 01:47:22,602 --> 01:47:25,605 During the mid-70s, the dance became a category at 707 01:47:25,605 --> 01:47:27,774 balls, marking the beginning of the conventional era 708 01:47:27,774 --> 01:47:32,846 The term presentation was then replaced by performance, originally a feminine dance 709 01:47:32,846 --> 01:47:37,350 category with Arabic dancing, flamboyant struts, and fashion magazine poses 710 01:47:37,617 --> 01:47:47,594 [music] 711 01:47:50,831 --> 01:47:52,966 During the birth of hip-hop culture, the influence 712 01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:55,836 of breakdancing heightened the standard for acrobatics 713 01:47:56,470 --> 01:48:00,907 By the late 80s, categories like performance with gymnastics, also performance with 714 01:48:00,907 --> 01:48:04,611 stretch, now known as new weight, began the Olympic-type performance era 715 01:48:37,644 --> 01:48:39,679 As long as African Americans are descendants of 716 01:48:39,679 --> 01:48:42,749 Ethiopian Kushites, performance will never perish 717 01:48:42,749 --> 01:48:51,157 Who would have thought this would have went around the 718 01:48:51,157 --> 01:48:53,660 world, you know, and this came from the ball community 719 01:48:55,595 --> 01:49:00,901 Andre has a lot of qualities, all I can say, he's always got something going 720 01:49:00,901 --> 01:49:07,340 When you can get 75 people to do anything you want them to do, then you have power 721 01:49:07,607 --> 01:49:10,477 I've been walking balls for about 12 years, 722 01:49:10,477 --> 01:49:13,380 I try to take it beyond the ballroom scene 723 01:49:13,613 --> 01:49:17,584 [music] 724 01:49:17,584 --> 01:49:22,455 I dance for a living, I'm a choreographer, I perform for Puffy Combs, Missy 725 01:49:22,455 --> 01:49:26,026 Elliott, and a few other stars, trying to take it as far as I can 726 01:49:26,593 --> 01:49:31,364 So that's another reason that I walk balls too, because I feel that balls can take 727 01:49:31,364 --> 01:49:34,000 people places, it depends on what you do and how you do it 728 01:49:34,000 --> 01:49:37,003 [music] 729 01:49:38,638 --> 01:49:43,677 A lot of people never use their shoulders when they're...voguing usually 730 01:49:43,677 --> 01:49:48,315 And then this movement here, those were my 731 01:49:48,315 --> 01:49:50,951 signature movements, and now they seem to be standard 732 01:49:50,951 --> 01:49:53,954 [music] 733 01:50:04,631 --> 01:50:07,334 A little bit of martial arts, a little bit of pantomime 734 01:50:07,334 --> 01:50:16,643 When I started it, it was because I'm in the club having fun and they get my face 735 01:50:16,643 --> 01:50:19,546 and lo and behold here comes a new movement 736 01:50:23,717 --> 01:50:27,887 Working with various recording artists, from Grace Jones to Queen Latifah, it was 737 01:50:27,887 --> 01:50:30,423 just about having fun and just goofing off 738 01:50:30,623 --> 01:50:41,034 [music] 739 01:50:44,771 --> 01:50:48,341 If you have a fierce song, your body is going to do what that song is telling you 740 01:50:48,341 --> 01:50:53,613 Or if the commentator is turning it out and he changes the beat, but you can match 741 01:50:53,613 --> 01:50:55,982 him, your body is going to match what he's saying 742 01:50:55,982 --> 01:50:59,319 I create it in my mind and then try to create it on the floor 743 01:51:00,620 --> 01:51:02,956 [music] 744 01:51:03,623 --> 01:51:06,126 I feel it later and I have to soak in a tub for a couple hours 745 01:51:06,626 --> 01:51:11,531 Twisted ankle, in Germany, this scar from going into a prop on the stage 746 01:51:41,628 --> 01:51:52,405 [music] 747 01:51:54,607 --> 01:51:58,344 Muscle spasms from all the arm flicks, and especially if you're doing it during 748 01:51:58,344 --> 01:52:00,880 performances and you're doing it for an hour or so 749 01:52:00,880 --> 01:52:04,284 Believe me, the older you get, the harder it gets 750 01:52:04,617 --> 01:52:08,221 So all you young kids, you're going to need a lot of Van Gogh Netflix songs 751 01:52:10,890 --> 01:52:14,294 We have so much against us, being black or Latin and gay 752 01:52:14,594 --> 01:52:17,897 Taking what we do and branching out and 753 01:52:17,897 --> 01:52:20,433 showing the world this is us, look at our talent 754 01:52:20,600 --> 01:52:25,472 And just bringing the spotlight to the community 755 01:52:25,605 --> 01:52:26,873 To me, that's a legend 756 01:52:26,873 --> 01:52:29,676 [music] 757 01:52:30,944 --> 01:52:34,581 First time Vogue was ever seen was Jodie Watney's second video 758 01:52:34,614 --> 01:52:36,216 It's called "Still a Grill" 759 01:52:36,950 --> 01:52:41,054 Tyrone Proctor, we were in a dance group together, choreographed that 760 01:52:41,054 --> 01:52:42,655 And he was best friends with her 761 01:52:42,655 --> 01:52:44,757 Second video, Carol Dane 762 01:52:44,757 --> 01:52:48,161 Shape was a choreographer as well 763 01:52:48,161 --> 01:52:50,130 Bobby Brown's choreographer was in that video 764 01:52:50,130 --> 01:52:52,665 It was weak, maybe because of the old straight boyfriend 765 01:52:52,665 --> 01:52:54,501 [laughter] 766 01:52:54,601 --> 01:52:56,569 Trying to do a little Vogue 767 01:52:56,603 --> 01:52:58,872 Then there was Liz Torres 768 01:52:58,872 --> 01:53:01,574 A house underground house classic 769 01:53:01,641 --> 01:53:03,843 Then there was my video 770 01:53:03,843 --> 01:53:06,646 Then there was Latifah 771 01:53:06,646 --> 01:53:08,081 Coming to my house 772 01:53:08,815 --> 01:53:10,383 Then Delight, good beat 773 01:53:10,383 --> 01:53:12,619 Then Madonna 774 01:53:12,619 --> 01:53:13,620 [music] 775 01:53:31,604 --> 01:53:41,981 [music] 776 01:53:42,615 --> 01:53:47,153 My house is mixed, it's straight, it's gay, it's multiracial 777 01:53:47,620 --> 01:53:52,258 And the reason I do that is, if we want to be accepted, we gotta accept everybody 778 01:53:52,258 --> 01:53:54,027 [applause] 779 01:53:58,598 --> 01:54:03,236 [music] 780 01:54:03,603 --> 01:54:04,504 Don't call me in the morning 781 01:54:04,504 --> 01:54:09,475 [music] 782 01:54:13,613 --> 01:54:15,448 It's gotten me to see various cultures 783 01:54:16,616 --> 01:54:19,519 And experiences that I'll never forget 784 01:54:19,619 --> 01:54:26,125 [music] 785 01:54:31,231 --> 01:54:33,299 Looking at the history of the ball community, 786 01:54:34,067 --> 01:54:37,103 Pepper was one of the last surviving legendary mothers 787 01:54:37,604 --> 01:54:41,074 When we were going to the ball, balls were a special event 788 01:54:41,608 --> 01:54:43,243 They didn't have them every month 789 01:54:43,610 --> 01:54:47,213 Every one or two a year, and you prepared yourself for that night 790 01:54:47,614 --> 01:54:50,817 But you couldn't come in there giving them an abortion, because they would chop you 791 01:54:50,817 --> 01:54:53,553 Because she's been doing that for over three decades, 792 01:54:53,553 --> 01:54:56,222 it was well overdue that she'd be honored in this fight 793 01:54:56,222 --> 01:55:01,194 [applause] 794 01:55:04,697 --> 01:55:08,201 Pepper was truly an icon 795 01:55:08,601 --> 01:55:12,005 Pepper Lolita Labesia 796 01:55:12,605 --> 01:55:15,375 Had two children and a beautiful mother 797 01:55:16,609 --> 01:55:20,713 There is a whole new generation of ball kids now 798 01:55:20,713 --> 01:55:23,716 And very few of them knew Pepper's struggles 799 01:55:23,716 --> 01:55:27,186 And the survival skills she required to live her life 800 01:55:27,620 --> 01:55:33,860 In addition, Pepper has seen the comings and goings of hundreds of ball children 801 01:55:33,860 --> 01:55:36,696 Whom we lost to HIV and AIDS 802 01:55:36,696 --> 01:55:44,604 We've lost a wonderful world, people with so much experience, talent, beauty 803 01:55:45,605 --> 01:55:48,808 We've lost a lot of people along the way 804 01:55:48,808 --> 01:55:51,411 [music] 805 01:55:51,611 --> 01:55:54,480 Eric really shined white on the ballroom 806 01:55:54,614 --> 01:55:58,484 He was always fair, he gave everybody a chance 807 01:55:58,618 --> 01:56:02,956 A real inspiration to the ballroom community, he was a real creator 808 01:56:02,956 --> 01:56:08,261 We're here tonight to pay homage to our brother Eric Christian-Bazar 809 01:56:08,261 --> 01:56:11,597 Because there will never be anyone else like him on the mic 810 01:56:11,631 --> 01:56:12,699 On the mic 811 01:56:12,699 --> 01:56:14,300 Or for Pope Ron 812 01:56:14,600 --> 01:56:16,736 Or for Bazar 813 01:56:16,736 --> 01:56:18,638 Or for Puddin' Eyewear 814 01:56:18,638 --> 01:56:21,174 Let's just say, all around 815 01:56:21,607 --> 01:56:22,375 For it's queen 816 01:56:22,608 --> 01:56:23,743 Legendary 817 01:56:23,743 --> 01:56:25,845 Always know what 818 01:56:25,845 --> 01:56:27,580 Felling you don't have to say it 819 01:56:27,580 --> 01:56:28,781 And believing it 820 01:56:28,781 --> 01:56:30,717 Yes, that's right 821 01:56:30,717 --> 01:56:33,653 [music] 822 01:56:36,756 --> 01:56:39,592 I'm not going to sit here and lie that the girls was using condoms back in 1982 823 01:56:39,625 --> 01:56:41,994 Condoms, we didn't even know what that thing was 824 01:56:43,596 --> 01:56:45,465 I don't know why I'm alive 825 01:56:46,866 --> 01:56:50,103 I thought that because I was HIV that I would never be able to have sex again 826 01:56:50,103 --> 01:56:53,539 This is what I'm thinking, I'm never going to have sex again 827 01:56:53,606 --> 01:56:56,042 I'm never ever going to let a man touch me 828 01:56:56,376 --> 01:56:58,378 I couldn't think about being with somebody 829 01:56:58,611 --> 01:57:00,580 Knowing that I have A's 830 01:57:01,047 --> 01:57:02,849 But HIV is not having A's 831 01:57:03,116 --> 01:57:06,285 HIV is not really harmful to anybody unless I make it harmful 832 01:57:06,285 --> 01:57:07,520 We don't know everyone's status 833 01:57:07,620 --> 01:57:09,522 And everyone's not going to tell us their true status 834 01:57:09,622 --> 01:57:13,426 So protect yourself, you know, treat everyone with universal precaution 835 01:57:13,426 --> 01:57:17,964 [music] 836 01:57:24,170 --> 01:57:27,306 This is my boyfriend Justin, we've been together for almost a year 837 01:57:27,607 --> 01:57:30,743 I titled this one "Justin came to me in a dream" 838 01:57:31,344 --> 01:57:34,580 I did this in a series of photographs that came from dreams that I was having 839 01:57:34,614 --> 01:57:36,716 I have very vivid dreams 840 01:57:36,716 --> 01:57:39,619 Partly because of some of the medications that we take 841 01:57:39,619 --> 01:57:42,321 One of my favorite people to photograph is Cleo 842 01:57:42,655 --> 01:57:44,657 He's my best friend, he's in the ballroom community 843 01:57:44,657 --> 01:57:48,194 He walks, puts you up in drags categories and I live 844 01:57:48,194 --> 01:57:52,565 Luna Louise Ortiz has been a member of the Visual AIDS Archive Project since 1998 845 01:57:52,598 --> 01:57:55,668 And in that time we've seen his work mature as 846 01:57:55,668 --> 01:57:58,104 an artist and photographer, activist and teacher 847 01:57:58,604 --> 01:58:02,575 Through the direct support that Visual AIDS offers artists living with AIDS 848 01:58:02,642 --> 01:58:06,145 We hope to be able to empower them to continue making work 849 01:58:06,145 --> 01:58:10,550 As well as to document and hold a visual record of the AIDS pandemic and the art 850 01:58:10,550 --> 01:58:12,885 that's come from artists living with AIDS 851 01:58:12,885 --> 01:58:16,222 [music] 852 01:58:17,290 --> 01:58:22,161 I choose to do portraits of my friends because I've lost so many of them 853 01:58:22,161 --> 01:58:23,629 Sort of like a visual diary 854 01:58:23,629 --> 01:58:26,799 So I could keep my friends with me at all times 855 01:58:26,799 --> 01:58:28,601 And sometimes I have them all over the apartment 856 01:58:28,601 --> 01:58:31,838 [music] 857 01:58:35,408 --> 01:58:38,177 As an adolescent I was not supposed to think about sex 858 01:58:38,611 --> 01:58:41,481 Yet I did think about it and I engaged in it 859 01:58:41,848 --> 01:58:45,518 Unfortunately I was not informed about what was safe and what was not 860 01:58:45,618 --> 01:58:52,291 I became infected by HIV in 1986 at the age of 14 with my first sexual experience 861 01:58:52,625 --> 01:58:55,695 HIV made me think about how I wanted to be remembered 862 01:58:56,629 --> 01:58:59,465 It was important for me to let people know that I exist 863 01:58:59,599 --> 01:59:02,135 I thought at the time that I was going to get really 864 01:59:02,135 --> 01:59:05,538 sick and look like the images of AIDS we saw in the 1980s 865 01:59:06,038 --> 01:59:08,040 But I didn't want to be seen as an AIDS victim 866 01:59:08,975 --> 01:59:13,946 Around the time that I met Justin I was having difficulty finding a relationship 867 01:59:13,946 --> 01:59:17,316 A lot of people refused to date me because I was positive 868 01:59:17,316 --> 01:59:19,819 [music] 869 01:59:25,625 --> 01:59:29,862 Justin came to me and he was always very supportive about it 870 01:59:29,862 --> 01:59:32,198 I remember I was afraid to tell him that I was positive 871 01:59:33,599 --> 01:59:37,603 And I always wondered why was I afraid when I was always a show off about my virus 872 01:59:37,603 --> 01:59:40,873 He basically held my hand through the whole thing 873 01:59:40,873 --> 01:59:44,043 [music] 874 01:59:51,350 --> 01:59:55,421 Our sexual part of the relationship is very beautiful 875 01:59:55,621 --> 01:59:59,492 It's intimate, it's just as normal as anybody's relationship 876 01:59:59,625 --> 02:00:04,597 And it's very protective, it's a healthy protective relationship 877 02:00:04,597 --> 02:00:07,567 [music] 878 02:00:08,067 --> 02:00:11,604 Throughout the years people that I came out with and 879 02:00:11,604 --> 02:00:16,576 people that I was raised with just like start dying on me 880 02:00:16,609 --> 02:00:22,181 It affects me a lot, I mean, that's a lot 881 02:00:22,181 --> 02:00:26,419 [music] 882 02:00:27,053 --> 02:00:29,455 Personally I've lost over 400 of my friends 883 02:00:29,622 --> 02:00:33,859 I can count more than personalities and people that are gone, it hurts 884 02:00:34,594 --> 02:00:37,063 When I had to go to Ken Pindarvis' funeral 885 02:00:37,063 --> 02:00:39,565 I was left baffled, bewildered and bothered 886 02:00:40,132 --> 02:00:42,101 Because I remember when all two of us, or three of us 887 02:00:42,101 --> 02:00:45,037 were on the bogging floor performing against each other 888 02:00:45,605 --> 02:00:46,739 And they're not here anymore 889 02:00:46,739 --> 02:00:51,644 I've lost a lot of friends, but I've lost a lot of clients 890 02:00:51,644 --> 02:00:54,313 So how it affected me is that I couldn't help anyone 891 02:00:54,313 --> 02:00:58,384 Find your HIV positive, that doesn't mean it's the end of your life 892 02:00:58,384 --> 02:01:03,389 A lot of them kiss turn to drugs as a comfort for being HIV positive 893 02:01:03,389 --> 02:01:07,660 But once you eat like I tell them, once you eat right, you take care of yourself, 894 02:01:07,660 --> 02:01:09,929 you take your meds on time, you'll be alright 895 02:01:10,596 --> 02:01:13,466 I thought I'm still here, and number two I'm still negative 896 02:01:13,599 --> 02:01:18,437 And the reason why is that I didn't drink and I didn't take drugs 897 02:01:18,604 --> 02:01:21,540 And I said no, and that's it 898 02:01:21,974 --> 02:01:26,812 GMHC, I know that they do wonderful things for the gay community 899 02:01:26,812 --> 02:01:28,581 In the beginning they did, like they were 900 02:01:28,581 --> 02:01:32,752 bringing in houses to do, you know, safe sex ads 901 02:01:32,752 --> 02:01:35,421 But then they stopped all of that, you know 902 02:01:35,621 --> 02:01:37,189 And you would see them at the balls and it 903 02:01:37,189 --> 02:01:40,660 became a thing where a latex chopping someone 904 02:01:40,660 --> 02:01:43,296 And it's like, wait a minute, aren't you here to save the day? 905 02:01:43,763 --> 02:01:45,931 As far as the house of latex, no comments 906 02:01:46,599 --> 02:01:50,770 The people who organized it aren't purely 907 02:01:50,770 --> 02:01:52,805 bald people that would have kept this going 908 02:01:52,805 --> 02:01:55,608 At one time we had the cream of the latex there 909 02:01:55,608 --> 02:01:58,644 We were all contained, we were all showing entries, 910 02:01:58,644 --> 02:02:00,946 we were all showing meetings, and then it just dropped 911 02:02:26,305 --> 02:02:29,275 [Music] It feels almost like you're a celebrity 912 02:02:29,642 --> 02:02:33,346 And it's the excitement, you want to get there and see 913 02:02:33,346 --> 02:02:36,415 who's wearing what, who's with who, who's in what new house 914 02:02:36,415 --> 02:02:41,654 [Music] 915 02:02:46,058 --> 02:02:47,660 For someone to be considered a legend, you 916 02:02:47,660 --> 02:02:49,729 have to at one particular point be the best 917 02:02:49,729 --> 02:02:52,264 Or at the top of that particular category that you want 918 02:02:52,631 --> 02:03:03,442 [Music] 919 02:03:14,620 --> 02:03:17,590 The Hall of Fame, what does it mean to me? It means a lot to me 920 02:03:17,623 --> 02:03:22,995 Because it shows that the community approves of me, they see me 921 02:03:22,995 --> 02:03:28,434 It made me feel like all the time by me being in the ball scene, it would pay off 922 02:03:28,434 --> 02:03:31,604 [Music] 923 02:03:40,613 --> 02:03:42,548 Being inducted into the Ballroom Hall of 924 02:03:42,548 --> 02:03:46,285 Fame, you know, of legendary status, I made it out 925 02:03:47,186 --> 02:03:51,423 And I walked my first ball when I was 14 years old, I don't have to walk anymore 926 02:03:51,624 --> 02:03:53,526 And there's some people out there sometimes that would 927 02:03:53,526 --> 02:03:55,461 have been like, okay, I want to walk against this person 928 02:03:55,594 --> 02:03:59,465 Against someone of my caliber, of my status, 929 02:03:59,465 --> 02:04:02,802 you know, that would excite me enough to say, okay 930 02:04:02,802 --> 02:04:05,871 This person is going to give me a run for my money, but 931 02:04:05,871 --> 02:04:09,909 I don't think there's no comparison to what I did with it 932 02:04:09,909 --> 02:04:12,278 And what they're doing with it now, so there's 933 02:04:12,278 --> 02:04:14,380 no need for competition because there isn't any 934 02:05:13,606 --> 02:05:23,582 [Music] [Music] 935 02:05:26,952 --> 02:05:29,521 Vogueing empowered me in a lot of ways 936 02:05:29,622 --> 02:05:34,660 It's something that it became like so natural to me 937 02:05:34,660 --> 02:05:39,598 because of, you know, my talent and my gift and what I love to do 938 02:05:39,632 --> 02:05:41,166 [Music] 939 02:05:41,934 --> 02:05:45,704 It gave me reassurance, it gave me secureness 940 02:05:45,704 --> 02:05:49,041 [Music] 941 02:05:50,175 --> 02:05:57,950 For those five minutes that I was out there doing this art, creating, you know, it 942 02:05:57,950 --> 02:06:01,086 made me feel like I was doing something and I was 943 02:06:01,086 --> 02:06:05,291 And that's great for my ego, it's great for anyone's ego 944 02:06:05,624 --> 02:06:08,127 To feel like, wow, I just did something and got 945 02:06:08,127 --> 02:06:11,997 applauded and rewarded for it, you know, it's a wonderful feeling 946 02:06:11,997 --> 02:06:16,201 And that makes you feel really good and feeling good, I 947 02:06:16,201 --> 02:06:19,738 mean, that's all you need, it shows, you know, you got to glow 948 02:06:19,738 --> 02:06:23,742 I mean, if you feel good, you know, you walk down the street, there's a certain 949 02:06:23,742 --> 02:06:26,679 walk to your walk, there's a certain talk to your talk 950 02:06:26,679 --> 02:06:29,381 You know, when you feel good, you feel invincible, 951 02:06:29,582 --> 02:06:32,484 you feel strength, you feel everything that's good 952 02:06:33,052 --> 02:06:39,024 And the fact that that can bring all those things to you just from doing that, like 953 02:06:39,024 --> 02:06:43,629 doing anything that you love, anything that's being appreciated 954 02:06:44,596 --> 02:06:47,466 It's definitely a force not to be reckoned with 955 02:06:47,466 --> 02:06:50,603 [Music] 956 02:06:50,636 --> 02:06:52,438 [Music] 957 02:07:18,631 --> 02:07:22,701 [Applause] 958 02:07:27,606 --> 02:07:33,278 It's given me a career that is amazing, I mean, I never thought, you know, me, the 959 02:07:33,278 --> 02:07:36,148 kid from the projects, what the hell was I going to do 960 02:07:36,148 --> 02:07:41,253 When you put creativity out there, what you get back is, wow, amazing 961 02:07:42,054 --> 02:07:44,723 If you really respect yourself, you love yourself, you 962 02:07:44,723 --> 02:07:47,659 love what you do, people will learn how to cope with you 963 02:07:47,926 --> 02:07:50,295 They need, all these corporations, all these businesses, 964 02:07:50,295 --> 02:07:54,066 these fashion houses, they need the drama, they need all that 965 02:07:54,333 --> 02:07:56,735 I wish to God I had videotaped every day of my 966 02:07:56,735 --> 02:07:59,204 life, though, I'd be a really rich queen right now 967 02:08:00,606 --> 02:08:03,575 What they do does have impact, it does affect the whole world 968 02:08:03,609 --> 02:08:09,681 It's been an honor for me to sit with Willy Ninja and Hector Extravaganza and all 969 02:08:09,681 --> 02:08:12,618 these people as a total outsider who knows nothing 970 02:08:12,618 --> 02:08:16,455 And partake in all this, you know, bedazzlement and 971 02:08:16,455 --> 02:08:19,091 to help judge the contest, it's really been fun for me 972 02:08:19,658 --> 02:08:23,962 If only like the world didn't have stereotypes or the hangups about round being 973 02:08:23,962 --> 02:08:28,333 GLBT, like I could just imagine how much more beautiful this world would be with 974 02:08:28,333 --> 02:08:30,602 the creativeness that comes out of this subculture 975 02:08:30,602 --> 02:08:35,040 Be safe and certain in what you do and don't grow up too fast 976 02:08:35,607 --> 02:08:39,144 Take time out to live before you start making 977 02:08:39,144 --> 02:08:41,613 decisions that are just going to hold you back 978 02:08:41,613 --> 02:08:45,784 I have a lot of doors open to me in Spain, they know who 979 02:08:45,784 --> 02:08:48,954 I am, they know what I'm about, they know what I can do 980 02:08:48,954 --> 02:08:51,290 So they open a lot of doors to me 981 02:08:51,557 --> 02:08:54,426 The point is, never give up, and that's what the 982 02:08:54,426 --> 02:08:57,596 legacy will continue is as long as no one gives up 983 02:08:57,996 --> 02:09:00,399 Let me live, let me feel the rain, let me 984 02:09:00,399 --> 02:09:03,702 feel the sun, let me be happy, let me feel alive 985 02:09:03,702 --> 02:09:08,140 Today I'm fighting for the cause to keep hope alive 986 02:09:08,774 --> 02:09:12,277 It's not over until it's over and it's not over yet 987 02:09:12,678 --> 02:09:16,615 There's a rumor going around that we've never heard before 988 02:09:16,615 --> 02:09:20,686 Are you an E.B. or an Y.E.B. or are you 989 02:09:20,686 --> 02:09:23,322 the new mother of the house? A woman of love 990 02:09:23,622 --> 02:09:28,093 I always look to everything in my family, but I am the mother 991 02:09:28,594 --> 02:09:32,097 One of totally different awards, 992 02:09:32,564 --> 02:09:37,736 congratulations, it's going to get some beer up in you 993 02:09:38,604 --> 02:09:44,743 The categories are face, woman's runway, Vogue 994 02:09:44,743 --> 02:09:50,516 film, butch queen up in drags, film queen sex siren 995 02:09:50,616 --> 02:09:57,322 Are you ready? Are you bitches ready to walk for me? Bring it to the runway now 996 02:09:57,623 --> 02:10:01,460 How do I look, just real mysterious? 997 02:10:06,265 --> 02:10:11,036 How do I look, just real mysterious? 998 02:10:17,643 --> 02:10:22,981 Bring it to the runway now 999 02:10:37,596 --> 02:10:39,832 Just mysterious 1000 02:10:40,599 --> 02:10:42,901 How do I look 1001 02:10:49,174 --> 02:10:50,976 Walk for me 1002 02:11:01,620 --> 02:11:04,990 Just real mysterious 1003 02:11:07,626 --> 02:11:12,631 How do I look, just real mysterious? 1004 02:11:17,636 --> 02:11:25,944 Bring it to the runway now 1005 02:11:25,944 --> 02:11:33,285 How do I look, just real mysterious? 1006 02:11:36,488 --> 02:11:41,593 How do I look, just real mysterious? 1007 02:11:41,593 --> 02:12:04,616 How do I look, just real mysterious? How do I look, just real mysterious? 1008 02:12:04,616 --> 02:12:07,185 Bring it to the runway now 1009 02:12:09,621 --> 02:12:11,590 Just real mysterious 1010 02:12:18,597 --> 02:12:20,899 Just real mysterious 1011 02:12:40,652 --> 02:12:49,661 How do I look 1012 02:12:55,634 --> 02:12:56,635 It's a celebration 1013 02:12:57,602 --> 02:13:00,005 Let's celebrate to be alive 1014 02:13:00,005 --> 02:13:01,640 It's a celebration 1015 02:13:01,640 --> 02:13:04,643 Let's celebrate to be alive 1016 02:13:04,643 --> 02:13:05,944 It's a celebration 1017 02:13:06,645 --> 02:13:09,414 Let's celebrate to be alive 1018 02:13:09,414 --> 02:13:10,716 It's a celebration 1019 02:13:10,716 --> 02:13:14,086 Let's celebrate to be alive 1020 02:13:14,619 --> 02:13:18,490 People can't be very cruel 1021 02:13:18,623 --> 02:13:23,161 Life can't be so very hard 1022 02:13:23,595 --> 02:13:27,632 But you need another that you're not alone 1023 02:13:27,632 --> 02:13:32,237 So be happy and celebrate 1024 02:13:32,604 --> 02:13:34,973 So be with me 1025 02:13:34,973 --> 02:13:37,042 Give yourself a chance 1026 02:13:37,042 --> 02:13:39,011 I understand 1027 02:13:39,611 --> 02:13:42,280 What you're going through 1028 02:13:46,618 --> 02:13:48,553 So don't give up 1029 02:13:48,620 --> 02:13:50,822 Come from the center of the rain 1030 02:13:50,822 --> 02:13:51,723 It's a celebration 1031 02:13:52,624 --> 02:13:55,293 Let's celebrate to be alive 1032 02:13:55,594 --> 02:13:56,595 It's a celebration 1033 02:13:56,595 --> 02:13:59,931 Let's celebrate to be alive 1034 02:13:59,931 --> 02:14:01,099 It's a celebration 1035 02:14:01,600 --> 02:14:04,436 Let's celebrate to be okay 1036 02:14:04,603 --> 02:14:05,470 It's a celebration 1037 02:14:06,605 --> 02:14:09,408 Let's celebrate to be alive 1038 02:14:11,610 --> 02:14:27,025 Let's celebrate to be alive 1039 02:14:28,593 --> 02:14:32,197 People can't be very cruel 1040 02:14:32,597 --> 02:14:36,601 Life can't be so very hard 1041 02:14:36,601 --> 02:14:41,406 But you need a lot that you're not alone 1042 02:14:41,606 --> 02:14:45,944 So be happy and celebrate 1043 02:14:46,611 --> 02:14:50,916 So that you will please give yourself a chance 1044 02:14:50,916 --> 02:14:55,987 I understand that you're going through 1045 02:15:00,625 --> 02:15:04,162 So don't get in box, come and celebrate 1046 02:15:04,629 --> 02:15:28,186 It's a Penal THIS Pyre 1047 02:15:28,186 --> 02:16:13,865 It's a upholding the It's a Syria big Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay 1048 02:16:13,932 --> 02:16:15,267 It's a Syria big song 1049 02:16:15,333 --> 02:16:15,634 It's a Syria big song 1050 02:16:15,634 --> 02:16:18,403 Let's a Syria big to be in love 1051 02:16:18,537 --> 02:16:19,838 It's a Syria big song 1052 02:16:19,938 --> 02:16:24,509 Let's a Syria big song 1053 02:16:26,077 --> 02:16:26,177 (upbeat music) 1054 02:16:29,447 --> 02:16:32,050 Oh yeah, yeah, hmm 1055 02:16:34,419 --> 02:16:36,988 (upbeat music) 1056 02:17:04,416 --> 02:17:15,193 (upbeat music) 1057 02:17:23,401 --> 02:17:26,504 Do not fear me, human. 1058 02:17:28,540 --> 02:17:31,076 I've come from afar to grant you every whim. 1059 02:17:31,409 --> 02:17:34,846 God has commanded that I please thee 1060 02:17:34,846 --> 02:17:38,516 to give you true happiness 1061 02:17:38,516 --> 02:17:42,621 and love in its purest form. 1062 02:17:45,190 --> 02:17:46,825 Take my hand, my love, 1063 02:17:48,226 --> 02:17:50,996 and I will take you to a place filled with wonders. 1064 02:17:53,264 --> 02:17:57,302 I think you humans call it paradise. 1065 02:17:59,804 --> 02:18:00,272 I am the one who is the one who is the one 1066 02:18:00,305 --> 02:18:04,342 and I call it home. 1067 02:18:11,650 --> 02:18:17,656 All my life I've walked on holy ground 1068 02:18:20,058 --> 02:18:25,030 Before you came my world was burning down 1069 02:18:25,063 --> 02:18:32,070 And every time I think about you loving me 1070 02:18:36,174 --> 02:18:38,743 It sets me free 1071 02:18:47,619 --> 02:18:50,422 All my life I've walked on holy ground 1072 02:18:51,723 --> 02:18:54,025 Before you came my world was burning down 1073 02:18:54,426 --> 02:18:59,064 And every time I think about you loving me 1074 02:19:00,999 --> 02:19:02,801 It sets me free 1075 02:19:04,436 --> 02:19:07,038 Oh, I loved you 1076 02:19:07,539 --> 02:19:08,606 Loved you 1077 02:19:09,741 --> 02:19:13,478 And God commands me to grant you every wish 1078 02:19:13,745 --> 02:19:15,513 And make your dreams come true 1079 02:19:17,282 --> 02:19:20,485 I've come from a place that is high above 1080 02:19:21,853 --> 02:19:23,021 Where angels fly 1081 02:19:23,488 --> 02:19:25,323 And grows as the purest love 1082 02:19:26,057 --> 02:19:29,361 So climb aboard my wings and you and I will fly 1083 02:19:31,596 --> 02:19:33,465 To paradise 1084 02:19:37,335 --> 02:19:39,471 I loved you 1085 02:19:41,106 --> 02:19:43,274 And you will love me too 1086 02:19:43,541 --> 02:19:46,778 And in return I'll be so good to you 1087 02:19:48,079 --> 02:19:50,715 All your life I've watched you move with grace 1088 02:19:52,050 --> 02:19:54,519 And your loving touch and your angelic face 1089 02:19:55,453 --> 02:19:59,157 And I command that you will be with me for life 1090 02:20:00,992 --> 02:20:03,361 I'll be your guiding guide 1091 02:20:06,765 --> 02:20:08,433 I loved you 1092 02:20:10,335 --> 02:20:12,103 Please believe it's true 1093 02:20:12,237 --> 02:20:13,471 Oh, I love you boy 1094 02:20:13,938 --> 02:20:15,640 Cause God commands me too 1095 02:20:17,542 --> 02:20:20,945 Hi ha ya, hiya ya, hiya ya ya 1096 02:20:22,480 --> 02:20:24,149 I loved you 1097 02:20:26,184 --> 02:20:28,019 I loved you 1098 02:20:29,954 --> 02:20:33,224 I loved you 1099 02:20:33,691 --> 02:20:37,061 I loved you. 101161

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