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1
00:03:00,674 --> 00:03:04,352
We repeat: The flying gimp
has been destroyed.
2
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,209
You may return
to your homes.
3
00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:11,478
And now back
to The Skye Daley Show
4
00:03:11,478 --> 00:03:15,222
with tonight's special guest
Ricky Coogin.
5
00:03:18,277 --> 00:03:20,992
Ricky, after your
hideous disfigurement,
6
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,707
you're showing
incredible courage
7
00:03:22,707 --> 00:03:26,166
by agreeing to finally
show yourself in public.
8
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,119
Thanks.
9
00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:32,269
America has watched you grow up
in television and in movies.
10
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:35,163
For years, you were everyone's
favorite little brother
11
00:03:35,163 --> 00:03:37,622
in that hits series,
The Baker's Dozen.
12
00:03:37,622 --> 00:03:40,366
Aw.
13
00:03:40,366 --> 00:03:42,720
And of course
as the star
14
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,909
of those hilarious
Ghost Dude movies.
15
00:03:46,186 --> 00:03:48,512
Well, you got
the entire country saying,
16
00:03:48,537 --> 00:03:51,818
- "boo, dude!"
- Boo, dude!
17
00:03:51,818 --> 00:03:53,154
But now...
18
00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:55,558
after your
horrific ordeal,
19
00:03:55,863 --> 00:03:57,675
the very mention
of your name
20
00:03:57,675 --> 00:04:00,443
makes children scream
in terror.
21
00:04:01,728 --> 00:04:04,166
Ricky Coogin...
22
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:06,888
the world is waiting
to hear your story.
23
00:04:08,023 --> 00:04:11,733
Well, it's kind of long,
but... okay.
24
00:04:12,072 --> 00:04:15,071
It all started when I was
approached to be spokesman
25
00:04:15,071 --> 00:04:17,969
for a multinational
corporation called E.E.S.
26
00:04:17,969 --> 00:04:20,060
Oh, the everything
except shoes people.
27
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,990
Right. I was
at their headquarters
28
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:24,252
to meet the chairman
and the board of directors.
29
00:04:24,252 --> 00:04:27,639
They wanted to send me to South America
to promote a controversial fertilizer
30
00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:29,519
called Zygrot-24.
31
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,768
You are the only one
who can stand up
32
00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:33,666
to these radicals
who are trying to keep
33
00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:36,315
Zygrot-24
from the struggling farmers
34
00:04:36,315 --> 00:04:38,658
whose very future
depends on it.
35
00:04:39,086 --> 00:04:40,904
Wasn't that stuff banned?
36
00:04:41,071 --> 00:04:42,387
Only in the U.S.
37
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:44,252
And Europe.
38
00:04:44,947 --> 00:04:45,663
Uh-uh.
39
00:04:45,817 --> 00:04:47,921
I heard
that shit's lethal.
40
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,504
All right.
You need proof. Fine.
41
00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:52,419
Please, sit down.
42
00:04:53,058 --> 00:04:53,412
Hmm.
43
00:04:53,412 --> 00:04:57,821
I would like you to meet the head of our
South American research facility,
44
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,267
Señor Juan Valdez.
45
00:05:00,879 --> 00:05:03,598
My name is
George Ramirez.
46
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:04,785
Whatever.
47
00:05:05,175 --> 00:05:07,156
He's been working
with Zygrot-24 every day
48
00:05:07,156 --> 00:05:09,008
for the last five years,
49
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,594
and look at him. He's in fine shape.
50
00:05:12,018 --> 00:05:12,849
Aren't you...
51
00:05:13,762 --> 00:05:14,900
Juan?
52
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,582
Yes.
53
00:05:22,571 --> 00:05:24,239
I am fine.
54
00:05:25,973 --> 00:05:28,663
I want you to know
that me and my team
55
00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:31,085
- in Santa Flan—
- Santa Flan?
56
00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:34,013
What kind of shitty name
for a country is that?
57
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,544
It is named
for the patron saint
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00:05:38,544 --> 00:05:40,794
of creamy desserts.
59
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:43,390
As I was saying,
60
00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:47,995
we have worked very closely
with Zygrot-24.
61
00:05:48,026 --> 00:05:51,345
I have personally supervised
its development.
62
00:05:51,598 --> 00:05:54,653
No potential danger
was left uninvestigated.
63
00:05:54,653 --> 00:05:57,282
The environmentalists
are crackpots!
64
00:05:57,282 --> 00:06:00,530
All of them!
This is ridiculous, I tell you!
65
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:02,963
Totally ridiculous!
66
00:06:03,361 --> 00:06:05,731
Thank you, Valdez.
That will be all.
67
00:06:06,892 --> 00:06:10,343
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Ricky, this is important.
68
00:06:10,343 --> 00:06:12,847
We are talking
about a major threat
69
00:06:12,847 --> 00:06:14,782
to the E.E.S. image.
70
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:21,020
How does $2 million
plus expenses sound?
71
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,072
Oh, Dick,
72
00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:25,359
$2 million
sounds great...
73
00:06:26,356 --> 00:06:27,182
but—
74
00:06:27,327 --> 00:06:28,541
I hear you.
75
00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:31,700
Let's make it
$5 million.
76
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:34,612
Well, that is
if the board agrees.
77
00:06:34,612 --> 00:06:36,499
Gentlemen, all those in favor.
78
00:06:36,499 --> 00:06:39,290
Good. It's unanimous.
79
00:06:40,687 --> 00:06:43,016
Well, Ricky,
what do you say?
80
00:06:43,016 --> 00:06:46,598
Are you E.E.S.'s manin Santa Flan?
81
00:06:47,297 --> 00:06:48,232
Mmm.
82
00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:51,849
Hmm.
83
00:07:02,636 --> 00:07:04,429
So the deal was done.
84
00:07:04,602 --> 00:07:07,673
I was Ricky Coogin,
toxic chemical salesman.
85
00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:11,232
Me and my buddy Ernie hopped on
the next plane for Santa Flan.
86
00:07:11,232 --> 00:07:12,475
Oh, did they show a movie?
87
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:15,603
- "Return to The Blue Lagoon."
- Oh, I heard that sucked.
88
00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:19,223
Where the hell is Ernie?
89
00:07:20,098 --> 00:07:23,308
Ladies! All I wanted
was a manicure!
90
00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:25,666
Hey, I'm kidding.
What is that, gravy?
91
00:07:29,619 --> 00:07:30,762
Where did you
get that?
92
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,978
I don't know, Coog.
It started as a pimple,
93
00:07:32,978 --> 00:07:35,729
and then I scratched it.
94
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,929
Can I get either of you gentlemen
a pillow or a blanket?
95
00:07:39,929 --> 00:07:41,102
Yes, please.
96
00:07:48,122 --> 00:07:49,833
Is that your luggage
up there?
97
00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:53,346
- Yeah.
- Is that your ugly little troll?
98
00:07:53,565 --> 00:07:55,452
Stuey Gluck!
99
00:07:55,495 --> 00:07:58,075
Rick!
100
00:07:58,385 --> 00:08:00,523
Look!
I got a rare still
101
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:03,087
from your first season
on The Baker's Dozen!
102
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:06,932
Could you sign it
for me, please?
103
00:08:07,117 --> 00:08:08,873
Baker's Dozen. I liked
the mom on that show.
104
00:08:08,873 --> 00:08:10,380
- I porked her.
- Cool.
105
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,115
Hello!
106
00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:13,160
Rick!
107
00:08:17,653 --> 00:08:21,250
Rick, it says here
Zygrot-24 is dangerous.
108
00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:23,964
Why are you lending
your name to it, Rick?
109
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:25,750
You used to be good,
110
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:29,108
and now, I just
don't know.
111
00:08:43,096 --> 00:08:44,867
Don't cry, Stuey.
112
00:08:45,413 --> 00:08:49,114
Deep down,
I'm still good.
113
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:55,289
Yes! He-he-he.
114
00:09:10,187 --> 00:09:11,769
May I take your bomb, sir?
115
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:12,945
Captain Benway here.
116
00:09:12,945 --> 00:09:16,389
To the right of the aircraft you can see a
terrific view of the Grand Canyon,
117
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,740
and to the left you can see a
panic-stricken little troll.
118
00:09:20,529 --> 00:09:25,230
Rick!
119
00:09:29,465 --> 00:09:30,492
You gonna eat
your peanuts, Ernie?
120
00:09:30,492 --> 00:09:32,019
- No, you can have 'em.
- Thanks.
121
00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:45,055
Hey, I'm okay!
122
00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:46,086
Ow!
123
00:09:49,562 --> 00:09:51,781
{\an8}Here we are, Ernie. Santa Spam,
124
00:09:51,806 --> 00:09:54,216
{\an8}world-famous for loud music
and hot sex.
125
00:09:54,216 --> 00:09:56,017
- It is?
- Give me a few hours.
126
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,494
Sure glad that wasn't
our plane.
127
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,467
Take your toxic crap away!
128
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:08,858
E.E.S. musn't stay!
Take your toxic crap away!
129
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,779
Jesus, we'd better find the limo
right now
130
00:10:18,782 --> 00:10:22,167
before these whale-kissers
chop us up and sell us for parts.
131
00:10:22,295 --> 00:10:23,906
Ooh...
132
00:10:26,061 --> 00:10:27,802
I got a better idea.
133
00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:31,274
If I can just find
the right disguise.
134
00:10:33,864 --> 00:10:35,447
Oh. Oh!
135
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,689
Take these.
136
00:10:39,351 --> 00:10:41,247
Give me back my crutches,
you monster!
137
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,313
Oh, it hurts!
Oh God!
138
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:48,516
Are you okay?
139
00:10:49,112 --> 00:10:51,306
- Ah! Oh.
- Let me help you.
140
00:10:51,306 --> 00:10:53,675
Thanks. Oh, don't
worry about me.
141
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:58,085
What's one man's pain weighed against
the global injustice
142
00:10:58,085 --> 00:11:01,715
of corporate tyrants
like E.E.S.? Go!
143
00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:04,324
The fight must continue!
144
00:11:04,324 --> 00:11:05,434
Wow!
145
00:11:06,853 --> 00:11:09,594
My name's Julie.
- Josh.
146
00:11:09,921 --> 00:11:11,055
Josh Tavern.
147
00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,503
Mother Teresa.
Glad to meet you.
148
00:11:15,411 --> 00:11:17,362
- Give me those, you ape!
- Ow!
149
00:11:17,592 --> 00:11:19,839
Josh, a busload
of us are headed
150
00:11:19,839 --> 00:11:22,621
over to Maracas
to protest Zygrot-24
151
00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:25,144
and pelt Ricky Coogin
with cow shit.
152
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:28,415
Hmm, same here.
You can ride with us!
153
00:11:28,423 --> 00:11:30,744
Us? You're with him?
154
00:11:30,978 --> 00:11:33,683
Oh, Ernie? Eh, he's okay.
155
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,056
- You ever heard of an idiot savant?
- Sure.
156
00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:38,646
Oh, that's Ernie,
except for the savant part.
157
00:11:44,006 --> 00:11:45,894
Yeah, well,
one thing's for sure—
158
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:48,962
that Coogin guy sure
is an asshole, huh?
159
00:11:48,962 --> 00:11:51,835
I'll say!
What a total piece of shit!
160
00:11:51,835 --> 00:11:54,002
I mean— don't
you think so, Josh?
161
00:11:54,015 --> 00:11:56,810
Well um... he's got a few problems.
162
00:11:56,810 --> 00:12:01,132
And what a lousy actor! I mean,
can you believe all that Ghost Dude crap?
163
00:12:01,132 --> 00:12:02,443
Oh, come on!
With a script that bad,
164
00:12:02,443 --> 00:12:04,871
he deserves an oscar for coming off as
good as he did.
165
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:08,035
- Well, he's no Christian Slater.
- Slater?!
166
00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:11,618
Now, come on, I can act circles around
that one-note hack!
167
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:17,020
And you think Slater can
improv like this?! Huh?
168
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:20,861
Ugh!
169
00:12:21,462 --> 00:12:22,452
Damn it!
170
00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:25,217
So...
171
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:26,628
Julie...
172
00:12:26,819 --> 00:12:29,688
you like Swedish films?
173
00:12:38,427 --> 00:12:41,680
You don't even wanna hear the truth
about Zygrot-24, do you, Coogin?
174
00:12:41,818 --> 00:12:43,848
I mean, look, I am not saying
this stuff is gonna
175
00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,267
turn anyone
into some kind of—
176
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:46,601
"Human worm"?
177
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:50,015
Exactly! A human worm.
I mean, that's just absurd!
178
00:12:50,015 --> 00:12:52,453
- The point is that this product—
- "Dawgboy"?
179
00:12:52,763 --> 00:12:55,562
Yeah, or a dog boy.
That's stupid.
180
00:12:55,573 --> 00:12:58,861
- The point is, is it's a very—
- "Hideous frawgman"?
181
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,144
Okay, now you're
just being silly.
182
00:13:01,527 --> 00:13:04,278
Human suffering is a big joke to you,
isn't it, Coogin?
183
00:13:04,289 --> 00:13:06,977
- What?
- You are so sick.
184
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,924
Cool!
A freak show!
185
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,540
Let's check it out!
186
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:15,847
Kinda like a family reunion
for you, huh?
187
00:13:15,856 --> 00:13:18,482
Hey, lighten up, Coog.
Could be a goof.
188
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,106
Freekz® is a registered
trademark of
189
00:13:31,106 --> 00:13:33,116
Elijah C. Skuggs Enterprises.
Any unauthorized reproduction
190
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:35,085
is strictly prohibited without
prior written consent.
191
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:17,442
Welcome to Freek Land,
192
00:14:17,451 --> 00:14:21,668
home of nature's
most repulsive mistakes.
193
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,654
Don't forget to visit
our snack bar,
194
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,642
and please,
no spitting.
195
00:14:27,757 --> 00:14:29,262
Isn't this great?
196
00:14:31,314 --> 00:14:32,879
It is so...
197
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,206
real.
198
00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:37,240
Real stupid.
199
00:14:44,621 --> 00:14:46,746
Let's go, Ernie.
This place is dead.
200
00:14:46,746 --> 00:14:48,387
Yeah, where's
all the weirdoes?
201
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,280
There are no weirdoes here!
202
00:14:55,713 --> 00:14:56,843
Mutants?
203
00:14:57,256 --> 00:14:58,174
Yes.
204
00:14:59,101 --> 00:15:01,057
Genetic nightmares?
205
00:15:01,476 --> 00:15:02,859
Definitely.
206
00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:05,137
Children of hell,
207
00:15:05,162 --> 00:15:08,579
twisted masses
of living, breathing...
208
00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:10,865
tormented flesh?
209
00:15:11,252 --> 00:15:12,329
Certainly.
210
00:15:13,098 --> 00:15:15,723
But as for weirdoes...
211
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,647
Not a one.
212
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,025
Unless, of course...
213
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:26,858
you count me.
214
00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:33,175
Nah. You seem like a regular dumbshit
old redneck to me.
215
00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:37,310
I'm Julie, and you are?
216
00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:39,279
I am Elijah C. Skuggs,
217
00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:43,154
proud proprietor of Skuggs' fabulous
Freek Land and Mutant Emporium,
218
00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:45,407
but you already knew that!
219
00:15:45,407 --> 00:15:49,551
After all, you have ventured miles away
from civilization—
220
00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:52,656
hospitals, telephones,
221
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:55,454
police!
222
00:15:57,114 --> 00:15:58,626
How may I help you?
223
00:15:58,929 --> 00:15:59,833
Drop dead.
224
00:16:00,982 --> 00:16:04,126
We would love to
see your freak show.
225
00:16:04,126 --> 00:16:07,274
You see, you have
built a monument
226
00:16:07,274 --> 00:16:09,361
to the variety and...
227
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,213
innovation of nature.
228
00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:16,897
It reminds us to respect
the fragile complexity
229
00:16:16,897 --> 00:16:18,959
of our global ecosystem.
230
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:22,274
And you come to me looking for weirdoes.
231
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,584
Hey? Hey!
232
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,124
Ugh!
233
00:16:28,265 --> 00:16:30,138
Ew!
234
00:16:34,013 --> 00:16:35,708
Hello.
235
00:16:35,708 --> 00:16:38,491
Mr. Toad
is my assistant.
236
00:16:39,073 --> 00:16:42,335
As for the show, I'm afraid the next
parade of deformity
237
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,545
isn't until
tomorrow evening.
238
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:44,864
- RICKY, ERNIE: Aww.
- However...
239
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,746
I do have a...
240
00:16:47,055 --> 00:16:48,398
private exhibit...
241
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:49,801
in my...
242
00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:51,167
shed...
243
00:16:51,904 --> 00:16:53,400
you might be interested in.
244
00:16:53,425 --> 00:16:56,954
I don't usually share it with
the general public.
245
00:16:56,954 --> 00:16:59,999
Well, we're... deeply
honored, but...
246
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:00,858
no thanks.
247
00:17:01,077 --> 00:17:02,782
Yeah, we're really—
248
00:17:03,858 --> 00:17:05,140
Alright.
249
00:17:06,523 --> 00:17:09,717
I used to blow up toads
with firecrackers, pal!
250
00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:11,890
So watch it!
251
00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:12,898
The sideshow tradition
252
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,400
has been completely
misrepresented by the media.
253
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,772
- Ooh, yes.
- I mean, you don't traffic in human misery.
254
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:22,249
You show society a part of itself it
just doesn't want to look at.
255
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,581
Mm-hmm.
256
00:17:23,855 --> 00:17:25,270
You getting this?
257
00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:27,193
What the hell, huh?
258
00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:28,337
You know, we'll see some pickled
259
00:17:28,361 --> 00:17:29,862
dog brains.
260
00:17:29,878 --> 00:17:32,099
Maybe some pictures
of women with, you know...
261
00:17:32,253 --> 00:17:34,290
added equipment, eh?
262
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:36,355
- Huh?
- Why not?
263
00:17:57,304 --> 00:18:00,989
I just love
The Family Circus.
264
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:03,747
Are you out of your mind?!
265
00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:07,792
I do admit they—they use the
same joke over and over again.
266
00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:11,738
I'm just a sucker for this little moppet's
shenanigans, that's all.
267
00:18:12,782 --> 00:18:15,838
Perhaps I should tell you
a little bit more...
268
00:18:15,956 --> 00:18:17,866
about what I do.
269
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,411
You see...
270
00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:22,941
I not only
exhibit freaks...
271
00:18:24,607 --> 00:18:26,574
I make them.
272
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:29,043
Just like Michelangelo
273
00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:31,273
saw the Angel
in the stone,
274
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:34,057
I can look
at a guy like...
275
00:18:34,408 --> 00:18:35,970
Kevin Costner
276
00:18:36,257 --> 00:18:38,645
and see a giant
peach grub
277
00:18:38,645 --> 00:18:41,848
who can fart The Blue Danube.
278
00:18:43,385 --> 00:18:45,416
Behold!
279
00:18:45,502 --> 00:18:49,304
The tasty freaks machine!
280
00:18:50,827 --> 00:18:53,637
My God!
He's using Zygrot-24!
281
00:18:53,723 --> 00:18:56,033
Hey, you're not supposed
to have that stuff!
282
00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:58,633
Well, then I guess I'm not
supposed to have these either!
283
00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:03,701
Who wants to get
freaked first?
284
00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:05,743
- Ladies first!
- Go screw yourself!
285
00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:06,717
If I were you,
I would.
286
00:19:06,717 --> 00:19:07,615
Oh!
287
00:19:07,615 --> 00:19:08,801
Oh God!
288
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,140
Hmm.
289
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,474
Let's see now. What should we do
with these two?
290
00:19:17,499 --> 00:19:21,193
Well, let's see.
Ain't it always, huh?
291
00:19:21,513 --> 00:19:24,644
Do we make them deformed?
292
00:19:24,925 --> 00:19:26,641
Michael Jackson.
293
00:19:27,589 --> 00:19:30,201
Yeah, that's like
yin and yang.
294
00:19:30,423 --> 00:19:32,333
AC, DC.
295
00:19:33,663 --> 00:19:36,285
Two birds with one stone.
296
00:19:37,395 --> 00:19:39,153
That's pretty
darn good, really.
297
00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:43,143
Let 'er rip, Toad!
298
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:46,451
Uh...
299
00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:13,856
Wait, wait.
300
00:20:14,107 --> 00:20:15,634
Wait a second!
301
00:20:15,658 --> 00:20:17,626
You're really gonna
rub that stuff on us
302
00:20:17,626 --> 00:20:19,280
and mutate our body parts?
303
00:20:20,132 --> 00:20:21,244
Correct.
304
00:20:21,405 --> 00:20:22,111
Well...
305
00:20:22,135 --> 00:20:24,543
then could you give me like
a really big rodney?
306
00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:26,930
I'm a mad scientist, pal...
307
00:20:27,247 --> 00:20:28,990
not a miracle worker.
308
00:20:29,143 --> 00:20:30,586
No!
309
00:20:44,465 --> 00:20:47,202
Gumby!
Put that thing away!
310
00:20:53,273 --> 00:20:56,289
Feast your eyes!
311
00:21:02,534 --> 00:21:03,662
Oh, well...
312
00:21:03,835 --> 00:21:06,251
at least I'll never have to go far
for a piece of tail.
313
00:21:06,813 --> 00:21:08,152
Pig!
314
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,603
- Ow!
- Toad...
315
00:21:10,968 --> 00:21:12,847
take them
to their quarters.
316
00:21:19,601 --> 00:21:20,769
A mere...
317
00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:23,041
party trick.
318
00:21:23,846 --> 00:21:25,181
But you—
319
00:21:26,469 --> 00:21:27,731
you're gonna be...
320
00:21:28,383 --> 00:21:29,930
special.
321
00:22:03,136 --> 00:22:06,501
Laughing Man,
this is Red Swan.
322
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,855
Fine, thank you,
and you?
323
00:22:10,868 --> 00:22:13,612
Listen, I have created
324
00:22:13,612 --> 00:22:16,010
the ultimate freak—
sort of.
325
00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:18,932
Yes. Well, see,
that's just it—
326
00:22:18,932 --> 00:22:20,967
he's not quite...
327
00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:21,971
finished.
328
00:22:21,971 --> 00:22:24,174
I'm gonna need some more
of that...
329
00:22:24,198 --> 00:22:25,941
Zygrot-24.
330
00:22:31,711 --> 00:22:33,534
Could you spell that?
331
00:22:33,726 --> 00:22:36,714
- Ha. Ho. Hee.
- Yes.
332
00:22:36,992 --> 00:22:38,608
Hey. Hoo.
333
00:22:39,951 --> 00:22:43,072
Got it.
334
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:45,339
Yes, uh—
335
00:22:45,339 --> 00:22:48,247
well, you—you take it easy too, laughing—
336
00:22:50,055 --> 00:22:51,525
Asshole.
337
00:22:55,995 --> 00:22:57,906
Wakey, wakey.
338
00:22:58,073 --> 00:23:00,075
Eggs and bakey.
339
00:23:00,991 --> 00:23:04,943
Time to meet and greet
the brand new you.
340
00:23:12,388 --> 00:23:15,044
Oh God! This was
my good side!
341
00:23:15,044 --> 00:23:17,098
Still is,
if you ask me.
342
00:23:17,112 --> 00:23:20,929
Hell, wait till see what I've got planned
for the other side.
343
00:23:22,141 --> 00:23:25,138
Welcome to your spacious
accommodations.
344
00:23:33,724 --> 00:23:35,645
Great use
of the space.
345
00:23:35,677 --> 00:23:39,027
Yeah, yeah. I learned it all
from Bob Vila.
346
00:23:39,245 --> 00:23:42,103
You know, you could expose
these rusted beams
347
00:23:42,103 --> 00:23:45,799
and put in a skylight
over just one weekend, Elijah.
348
00:23:45,999 --> 00:23:47,757
Give it a rest, Bob.
349
00:23:58,416 --> 00:24:01,041
One of these days I gotta put a
shitter in there.
350
00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:03,204
No problem, Elijah,
it's all right here
351
00:24:03,204 --> 00:24:05,424
in my new book,
"Bedrooms and Bathrooms."
352
00:24:05,449 --> 00:24:07,128
In fact, if you take
this one on—
353
00:24:11,794 --> 00:24:12,992
Ernie.
354
00:24:14,167 --> 00:24:16,979
- Julie.
- Over here, Coog.
355
00:24:17,595 --> 00:24:20,606
- Are you alright?
- Oh, I know that voice.
356
00:24:20,632 --> 00:24:24,640
That's the voice that said, "cool!
A freak show! Let's check it out!"
357
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:28,205
Oh, sure. Blame the woman!
Typical.
358
00:24:28,524 --> 00:24:32,047
"It's so real!" Is this real enough
for you?!
359
00:24:32,047 --> 00:24:33,859
I'm friggin' Quasimodo!
360
00:24:34,162 --> 00:24:35,630
Lighten up, Coog.
361
00:24:37,772 --> 00:24:40,983
You're talking to the original tag team
of ugly pukes here.
362
00:24:41,732 --> 00:24:43,126
Look at this outfit.
363
00:24:43,535 --> 00:24:44,506
Come on...
364
00:24:44,662 --> 00:24:47,034
- step into the light.
- Okay.
365
00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,263
Here I come.
366
00:24:56,418 --> 00:24:58,310
Oh, jeez.
367
00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:00,441
Well...
368
00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:02,707
it's not
so revolting.
369
00:25:02,782 --> 00:25:05,130
I mean...
370
00:25:05,154 --> 00:25:06,859
I mean, after all,
371
00:25:07,246 --> 00:25:11,396
physical beauty is merely
a socially enforced myth that...
372
00:25:13,238 --> 00:25:15,026
Oh shit.
373
00:25:18,296 --> 00:25:21,724
Yeah? Well, you're
no Mona Lisa's yourself.
374
00:25:21,898 --> 00:25:24,146
You're lucky I got
a strong stomach.
375
00:25:24,265 --> 00:25:25,677
And you are lucky
I do not bite you!
376
00:25:25,946 --> 00:25:26,505
Huh?
377
00:25:26,505 --> 00:25:28,059
Get away from me,
378
00:25:28,059 --> 00:25:30,516
- you— you—
- Freak?
379
00:25:32,929 --> 00:25:36,347
I am Ortiz,
the dog boy.
380
00:25:36,546 --> 00:25:38,574
Leader of the freaks.
381
00:25:39,028 --> 00:25:40,933
Kind of like
the top dog.
382
00:25:41,357 --> 00:25:43,875
Welcome to hell, Rick.
383
00:25:44,646 --> 00:25:46,034
Shake.
384
00:25:46,128 --> 00:25:47,061
No thanks,
385
00:25:47,061 --> 00:25:48,998
I don't plan on staying long.
386
00:25:49,074 --> 00:25:50,342
Huh?
387
00:25:50,615 --> 00:25:52,179
Shh, shh. Hey. No.
388
00:25:53,027 --> 00:25:54,894
How many of you
are there in here, anyway?
389
00:25:54,894 --> 00:25:58,590
First, I have a question
for you, Ricardo.
390
00:25:58,634 --> 00:26:02,154
Who starred in the film...
391
00:26:03,085 --> 00:26:05,791
- "Exorcist II: The Heretic"?
- Huh?
392
00:26:05,791 --> 00:26:09,117
Well, perhaps we
should ask The Worm?
393
00:26:11,508 --> 00:26:14,370
who starred in "The Exorcist II:
The Heretic"?
394
00:26:14,793 --> 00:26:19,168
- Olivia Newton-John.
- Olivia Newton-John.
395
00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:21,813
Rick, do you agree
or disagree?
396
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:24,819
This is nuts!
This is crazy!
397
00:26:25,143 --> 00:26:27,705
- Besides, it was Linda Blair.
- Very good.
398
00:26:27,705 --> 00:26:30,014
It was Linda Blair!
399
00:26:30,014 --> 00:26:33,213
Circle gets the square!
400
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:34,535
All right, that's cool.
That's cool.
401
00:26:34,737 --> 00:26:35,926
Okay.
402
00:26:36,255 --> 00:26:37,179
Julie-Ernie,
403
00:26:37,493 --> 00:26:40,448
who's it going to be?
Nosey the Noseman?
404
00:26:40,448 --> 00:26:43,901
What?!
405
00:26:43,901 --> 00:26:46,386
- Cowboy!
- Howdy.
406
00:26:46,532 --> 00:26:48,128
The Bearded Lady.
407
00:26:49,468 --> 00:26:50,374
How you doing?
408
00:26:50,374 --> 00:26:53,241
- Sockhead.
- Hi.
409
00:26:53,499 --> 00:26:55,184
The Eternal Flame!
410
00:26:56,153 --> 00:26:59,284
- Fire in the hole. Yeah!
- Rosie, the Pinhead.
411
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:05,396
The Hideous Frogman.
412
00:27:05,929 --> 00:27:10,546
And of course, in the center square,
Mr. Paul Lynde!
413
00:27:12,088 --> 00:27:15,270
Well, who will it be?
414
00:27:15,270 --> 00:27:17,697
Call me old fashioned,
but I'll go with Paul Lynde.
415
00:27:17,697 --> 00:27:19,165
- Don't be an idiot!
- He's funny.
416
00:27:19,165 --> 00:27:19,667
Oh!
417
00:27:24,540 --> 00:27:26,132
Don't you see, Rick?
418
00:27:26,220 --> 00:27:29,079
Just because we are freaks,
419
00:27:29,079 --> 00:27:31,874
does not mean we do not know how
to have some fun, huh?
420
00:27:32,148 --> 00:27:33,593
Get away from me!
421
00:27:33,863 --> 00:27:35,055
Get away!
422
00:27:35,513 --> 00:27:38,122
I'm not like you!
You hear me?!
423
00:27:38,279 --> 00:27:41,599
I am Ricky Coogin.
I am not a freak!
424
00:27:48,884 --> 00:27:50,199
What a joke!
425
00:27:51,508 --> 00:27:54,223
Freak! Freak! Freak!
426
00:28:00,485 --> 00:28:02,417
Poor kid.
427
00:28:06,858 --> 00:28:08,736
This sucks.
428
00:28:10,256 --> 00:28:13,921
Hmm. I wonder if they're still
casting Gremlins 3.
429
00:28:14,012 --> 00:28:16,041
I'll call my agent
in the morning.
430
00:28:17,051 --> 00:28:20,869
Look, Rick, all the freaks
have been through this anguish.
431
00:28:20,877 --> 00:28:23,786
At first, I was blinded by my anger.
I admit that.
432
00:28:23,922 --> 00:28:26,780
I wanted to ring your neck
for getting us into this, but...
433
00:28:27,295 --> 00:28:28,602
I got over it.
434
00:28:29,111 --> 00:28:32,510
Ortiz taught me to channel my anger
for the common good.
435
00:28:32,637 --> 00:28:34,441
You wanted to see
the freak show.
436
00:28:34,604 --> 00:28:36,416
I thought I told you
to shut up!
437
00:28:37,779 --> 00:28:39,140
Let go of me!
438
00:28:41,138 --> 00:28:43,275
- Ernie!
- Oh.
439
00:28:44,003 --> 00:28:48,212
Sorry, Coog. For a second there,
I was— was a total man-hater.
440
00:28:50,466 --> 00:28:51,341
Here.
441
00:28:51,733 --> 00:28:52,972
Take it.
442
00:28:53,915 --> 00:28:57,454
"So you're a hideous mutant freak.
Now what?"
443
00:28:57,655 --> 00:29:01,706
I don't need this! I'm not like those other
god-forsaken animals.
444
00:29:01,889 --> 00:29:05,121
You're mistaken, Rick.
You're exactly like us.
445
00:29:06,129 --> 00:29:09,769
We were all normal, healthy folk before
we made the fateful mistake
446
00:29:09,769 --> 00:29:12,057
of coming to this hellhole
at an off hour.
447
00:29:12,843 --> 00:29:16,945
When I first came here,
I was a professor of lacrophylogy—
448
00:29:17,206 --> 00:29:19,491
The study of worms,
of course.
449
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:22,329
I was on the trail
of the fat, pudgy worm.
450
00:29:22,329 --> 00:29:25,180
Mr. Skuggs said he had
just such worm in his shed.
451
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:26,899
How could I have
possibly surmised
452
00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:30,330
that the specimen and myself should
ultimately prove to be one and the same.
453
00:29:33,454 --> 00:29:34,448
At first...
454
00:29:34,825 --> 00:29:36,888
the transformation
was fabulous.
455
00:29:37,322 --> 00:29:40,299
I truly understood the worm's
ethos like never before.
456
00:29:41,217 --> 00:29:43,646
But those early days
of fascination are over.
457
00:29:44,140 --> 00:29:48,351
Now in retrospect, I think the whole thing
is a fucking headache.
458
00:29:48,872 --> 00:29:52,228
I'd sell my soul just to be
able to wipe my own ass.
459
00:29:56,635 --> 00:29:59,859
Hmm— I first came here
as a tourist.
460
00:29:59,859 --> 00:30:02,182
Looking for some fun—
Nice place.
461
00:30:05,537 --> 00:30:07,883
Then Elijah turned me
into a sock.
462
00:30:10,793 --> 00:30:13,956
I'm sorry. I'm—I'm not
much for stories.
463
00:30:17,603 --> 00:30:19,316
When I first arrived here...
464
00:30:19,340 --> 00:30:21,153
I was nothing like I am now.
465
00:30:24,890 --> 00:30:26,280
I was confused—
466
00:30:26,812 --> 00:30:28,823
- a walking contradiction...
- All right.
467
00:30:28,823 --> 00:30:30,245
So full of questions.
468
00:30:30,355 --> 00:30:32,507
You know, you'd be better off
without a dick.
469
00:30:32,507 --> 00:30:35,270
Hey! You can keep the beard.
470
00:30:35,845 --> 00:30:38,126
Oh.
471
00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:40,843
Hallelujah!
472
00:30:41,246 --> 00:30:42,908
But now I know who I am.
473
00:30:42,908 --> 00:30:44,357
I can say it to the world:
474
00:30:44,381 --> 00:30:46,367
"Hey, this is me."
475
00:30:46,414 --> 00:30:48,987
"I am woman,
and I like me."
476
00:31:09,688 --> 00:31:11,959
Man, that's rough.
477
00:31:13,944 --> 00:31:17,024
You're one of us now, Rick,
whether you admit it or not.
478
00:31:17,489 --> 00:31:18,825
It's irrefutable.
479
00:31:21,457 --> 00:31:22,662
Hmm...
480
00:31:24,556 --> 00:31:28,194
Come on, you can do it. You can do it.
481
00:31:30,428 --> 00:31:31,346
Hey!
482
00:31:31,624 --> 00:31:33,425
- Mind your business!
- Sorry, sorry.
483
00:31:39,487 --> 00:31:40,589
- Wow!
- Ortiz.
484
00:31:40,589 --> 00:31:42,706
Ortiz, that's me.
That's me, Ortiz!
485
00:31:42,706 --> 00:31:44,884
Ortiz, Ortiz,
you're on me.
486
00:31:44,884 --> 00:31:47,587
- Oh, oh, I am not cleaning this up.- Oh jeez.
487
00:31:47,593 --> 00:31:49,099
Ortiz, down!
Get out—
488
00:31:49,267 --> 00:31:52,298
Well, those E.E.S. guys
should rescue me any minute...
489
00:31:52,591 --> 00:31:54,479
Then it's back
to sunny old L.A.
490
00:31:54,479 --> 00:31:56,532
and straight
to the plastic surgeon.
491
00:31:56,901 --> 00:32:00,080
I wonder how many of my
anatomically-correct girlfriends
492
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,308
will be waiting for me.
493
00:32:01,332 --> 00:32:03,683
I'll
be waiting for you, Rick!
494
00:32:03,683 --> 00:32:04,824
Thanks, Stuey.
495
00:32:05,687 --> 00:32:08,604
Ah! It's the troll!
496
00:32:09,347 --> 00:32:12,046
Go home!
What are you doing here?
497
00:32:12,321 --> 00:32:15,413
Seein' phantom
trolls, Rick?
498
00:32:16,314 --> 00:32:17,267
Nope.
499
00:32:17,267 --> 00:32:20,613
Sounds to me like you've developed
a telepathic bond.
500
00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:22,464
Don't mean you're nuts
or nothing.
501
00:32:22,464 --> 00:32:25,768
Heck, old nosey, why,
he can smell the future.
502
00:32:26,075 --> 00:32:28,338
Lots of us freaks
got E.S.P.,
503
00:32:28,346 --> 00:32:30,956
and Sockhead,
he's got E.S.P.N.
504
00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:33,550
- Bodyslam the Hulk!
- Watch out, Hulkster!
505
00:32:33,550 --> 00:32:35,470
He's gonna try
the skull-cracker!
506
00:32:36,743 --> 00:32:39,183
Shucks, Rick,
you're lucky.
507
00:32:39,183 --> 00:32:43,505
Telepathy like yours only occurs between
real soul mates.
508
00:32:43,505 --> 00:32:46,040
A bond like that
should be cherished.
509
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,737
Wow, I'm Ricky Coogin's
soul mate!
510
00:32:48,737 --> 00:32:51,775
In your dreams!
Now get lost, troll.
511
00:32:51,775 --> 00:32:54,337
Wait till I tell the kids at school!
512
00:32:54,337 --> 00:32:56,943
- I love you, Rick.
- Shucks, Rick,
513
00:32:56,943 --> 00:32:59,807
it don't make sense
to spurn your soul mate.
514
00:33:00,099 --> 00:33:02,466
I reckon that troll
could help you,
515
00:33:02,466 --> 00:33:05,136
if you just
let him into your heart.
516
00:33:10,893 --> 00:33:13,341
Once America sees
what happened to Ricky,
517
00:33:13,341 --> 00:33:17,311
they'll probably send the whole F.B.I.
down to save him.
518
00:33:17,594 --> 00:33:20,906
I'll probably win a Pulitzer prize
for this scoop,
519
00:33:20,906 --> 00:33:23,073
and I'll dedicate it
to Rick!
520
00:33:37,524 --> 00:33:38,945
Ow!
521
00:33:39,749 --> 00:33:42,846
Of course I'll print it!
America needs to know!
522
00:33:42,846 --> 00:33:46,152
Burt, give Mr. Gluck his fee and
show him the way out!
523
00:33:46,198 --> 00:33:48,326
That's okay!
I know the way out.
524
00:33:50,915 --> 00:33:54,032
"Freaky deaky!
Ricky Coogin's a mutant
525
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:57,669
and in South America!"
By Stuartus Gluck."
526
00:33:58,014 --> 00:33:59,353
That's me!
527
00:34:01,538 --> 00:34:04,882
No, you've got it all wrong!
I don't know anything about that!
528
00:34:04,892 --> 00:34:07,948
You gotta believe me!
529
00:34:11,534 --> 00:34:13,385
Ladies and gentlemen!
530
00:34:13,905 --> 00:34:16,117
Get ready for the glamour!
531
00:34:16,279 --> 00:34:18,438
Get ready for the glitz!
532
00:34:18,438 --> 00:34:20,859
Get ready to pelt
the physically challenged
533
00:34:20,859 --> 00:34:22,627
with rotten vegetables,
534
00:34:22,777 --> 00:34:25,960
'cause it's showtime!
535
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,332
Yeah, I bet
you weigh about—
536
00:34:37,188 --> 00:34:39,395
107!
537
00:34:40,002 --> 00:34:43,377
A one, two, three...
538
00:34:57,470 --> 00:35:00,940
What keeping those
damn E.E.S. guys?
539
00:35:00,959 --> 00:35:03,946
Something's troubling you,
my boy. What is it?
540
00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:07,238
- Take a wild guess.
- Oh...
541
00:35:07,238 --> 00:35:09,467
I think I know
what you're going through.
542
00:35:09,467 --> 00:35:12,611
You see, I too had
an eating disorder.
543
00:35:17,566 --> 00:35:19,507
Quiet, please.
544
00:35:21,051 --> 00:35:21,978
Thank you.
545
00:35:21,978 --> 00:35:24,987
Ladies and gentlemen!
546
00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:27,751
Tonight, you are
about to witness
547
00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:29,922
a cavalcade
of atrocities
548
00:35:29,922 --> 00:35:31,331
so horrific...
549
00:35:31,355 --> 00:35:33,633
that I advise
the more sensitive members
550
00:35:33,633 --> 00:35:37,930
of our audience
to leave the premises at this time.
551
00:35:42,701 --> 00:35:45,442
Tonight, I am proud
to announce
552
00:35:45,442 --> 00:35:49,239
several new
and original monstrosities
553
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:53,581
including our star attraction—
the Beast Boy!
554
00:35:53,581 --> 00:35:55,456
Ooh!
555
00:35:55,456 --> 00:35:56,460
But first!
556
00:35:56,484 --> 00:35:58,956
A perennial
favorite here at Freek Land.
557
00:35:58,956 --> 00:36:03,537
Sit back and snuggle up
to the musical stylings of...
558
00:36:03,537 --> 00:36:06,928
Rosie The Pinhead!
559
00:36:21,882 --> 00:36:23,539
Sing out, dear...
560
00:36:24,075 --> 00:36:25,716
from the diaphragm.
561
00:36:29,448 --> 00:36:30,854
- Hey, Julie,
562
00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:33,425
how many feminists
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
563
00:36:33,425 --> 00:36:35,124
- How many?
- Two—
564
00:36:35,124 --> 00:36:38,190
one to screw it in,
and one to ride my rodney!
565
00:36:38,190 --> 00:36:40,168
Oaf!
566
00:36:47,986 --> 00:36:49,316
Bravo!
567
00:36:52,225 --> 00:36:54,781
If your coloring is in
the autumn range like Maria,
568
00:36:54,781 --> 00:36:57,427
I would suggest you try
the earth-tone eye makeup.
569
00:36:57,434 --> 00:37:00,549
Now as you can see, I've done a lovely
french braid on Maria.
570
00:37:00,549 --> 00:37:04,270
But I encourage everyone
to experiment and use your imagination.
571
00:37:04,270 --> 00:37:06,609
The main thing is
just have fun with it.
572
00:37:10,757 --> 00:37:13,927
Feel good!
Wow! Yeah!
573
00:37:13,927 --> 00:37:17,022
Check this out, huh?!
574
00:37:17,513 --> 00:37:20,013
Hey! What?!
575
00:37:20,013 --> 00:37:22,964
Hey! That—
you piece of shit!
576
00:37:25,582 --> 00:37:29,523
All right! Way to go!
577
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:48,676
Thank you! My people! Thank you.
578
00:37:48,676 --> 00:37:50,270
Thank you,
you've been a great crowd.
579
00:37:53,533 --> 00:37:57,046
- Oh!
- Hey, he's got a hand under there!
580
00:37:57,046 --> 00:37:58,221
- It's a hoax!
581
00:38:00,588 --> 00:38:04,596
Hey, come on!
Ooh! Ah!
582
00:38:06,049 --> 00:38:07,207
Bite me!
583
00:38:07,548 --> 00:38:09,479
Puppeteering is an admirable skill
584
00:38:09,479 --> 00:38:11,456
in it's own right,
now...
585
00:38:11,727 --> 00:38:12,805
give him his due!
586
00:38:12,805 --> 00:38:14,821
Beast Boy! Beast Boy!
587
00:38:14,821 --> 00:38:17,131
Calm down! He'll be
out here in a moment!
588
00:38:17,219 --> 00:38:19,162
And when I won
first prize,
589
00:38:19,162 --> 00:38:21,630
they never called me
pudding head again.
590
00:38:21,630 --> 00:38:23,584
- So?
- Don't you see?
591
00:38:23,584 --> 00:38:26,459
You must turn your hardship
into inspiration.
592
00:38:26,459 --> 00:38:27,838
You're an actor, Rick.
593
00:38:27,838 --> 00:38:30,441
Your body is your instrument,
and with it,
594
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:33,628
you must play your tragic symphony
for all the world.
595
00:38:33,628 --> 00:38:35,216
They're going nuts
for you, beast boy.
596
00:38:35,216 --> 00:38:37,041
You better get out here now.
597
00:38:37,041 --> 00:38:38,437
I'll be right there.
598
00:38:39,173 --> 00:38:42,424
Thank you, Worm.
I don't know how to repay you for this.
599
00:38:42,424 --> 00:38:43,881
You could wipe my ass.
600
00:38:45,127 --> 00:38:48,003
What a comedian!
601
00:38:49,445 --> 00:38:50,455
Nosey...
602
00:38:50,635 --> 00:38:51,651
have I
ever told you
603
00:38:51,651 --> 00:38:55,123
- what a gifted artist you are?
- Huh?
604
00:39:04,975 --> 00:39:06,177
Now...
605
00:39:06,597 --> 00:39:08,036
is the winter
606
00:39:08,530 --> 00:39:10,922
of our discontent.
607
00:39:11,657 --> 00:39:14,899
Made glorious summer
by this son of york.
608
00:39:14,899 --> 00:39:17,415
I didn't write this.
What is this crap?
609
00:39:17,415 --> 00:39:19,962
But I'm not shaped
for sport of tricks,
610
00:39:20,514 --> 00:39:23,708
nor made to court
an amorous looking glass.
611
00:39:24,379 --> 00:39:25,286
High—
612
00:39:26,136 --> 00:39:27,247
{\an8}If you're having trouble
613
00:39:27,247 --> 00:39:29,626
{\an8}understanding Mr. Coogin's
brilliant reading
614
00:39:29,626 --> 00:39:31,955
{\an8}of the soliloquy
from Richard III,
615
00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:33,294
please take advantage
616
00:39:33,294 --> 00:39:36,486
of the handy subtitles
for the culturally illiterate.
617
00:39:36,486 --> 00:39:38,141
- Shh!
- ...wild figure...
618
00:39:38,701 --> 00:39:40,049
Deformed,
619
00:39:40,484 --> 00:39:42,995
sent before my time
620
00:39:43,523 --> 00:39:45,621
into this breathing world,
621
00:39:45,621 --> 00:39:47,746
{\an8}scarce half made up.
622
00:39:50,051 --> 00:39:52,165
Why I...
623
00:39:52,617 --> 00:39:55,876
in this weak piping
time of peace
624
00:39:57,302 --> 00:39:58,998
have no delight
625
00:39:59,189 --> 00:40:01,214
{\an8}to pass away the time?
626
00:40:08,752 --> 00:40:09,841
Thank you!
627
00:40:19,711 --> 00:40:22,865
- Beautiful!
- Thank you, thank you.
628
00:40:22,865 --> 00:40:24,636
They seem to like it.
629
00:40:34,276 --> 00:40:36,016
My God.
630
00:40:36,343 --> 00:40:37,686
Too kind.
631
00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:40,044
- It is him.
- Yes!
632
00:40:41,610 --> 00:40:44,731
Thank God for E.E.S.!
633
00:40:45,602 --> 00:40:46,740
Oh, yeah, yeah, Rick.
Look, look.
634
00:40:46,740 --> 00:40:50,923
I— I really love this new look
you've got going for yourself.
635
00:40:50,928 --> 00:40:54,225
It's fresh, it's hip,
the kids will love it,
636
00:40:54,225 --> 00:40:58,662
but back at E.E.S., I don't think the
big boys upstairs are gonna get it.
637
00:40:59,191 --> 00:41:01,883
- What are you saying?
- Well, Rick, what I'm—
638
00:41:01,883 --> 00:41:03,744
trying to say is th-that—
639
00:41:03,768 --> 00:41:05,019
well, um—
640
00:41:05,439 --> 00:41:09,643
you're ugly enough
to burn the nose hairs off a dead nun.
641
00:41:21,326 --> 00:41:23,150
What a putz!
642
00:41:33,339 --> 00:41:35,104
Eat shit!
643
00:41:38,712 --> 00:41:40,026
Rick...
644
00:41:40,050 --> 00:41:41,780
now you're
just being childish.
645
00:41:45,293 --> 00:41:47,453
Run for your lives!
646
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,337
What's the matter?
Afraid of a little rough stuff?
647
00:41:56,497 --> 00:41:59,778
Welcome to show
business, morons!
648
00:41:59,778 --> 00:42:01,153
You're all going
to hell.
649
00:42:17,561 --> 00:42:20,436
Now that's entertainment.
650
00:42:29,336 --> 00:42:30,983
Gotta get
the hell out of here.
651
00:42:34,201 --> 00:42:35,997
That's against the law.
652
00:42:43,370 --> 00:42:46,013
Psst. Hey, you, milkman.
653
00:42:46,770 --> 00:42:47,377
Me?
654
00:42:47,377 --> 00:42:49,902
Yeah, you. I've got
something to show you.
655
00:42:51,758 --> 00:42:53,764
Come around to this
little trapdoor.
656
00:42:58,274 --> 00:43:00,313
- What is it?
- I've just laid a turd
657
00:43:00,313 --> 00:43:02,455
that's the spittin' image
of Kim Basinger.
658
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,883
Boy, if I had a dime
for every time I heard that.
659
00:43:04,883 --> 00:43:06,926
- She's naked, too.
- Really?
660
00:43:09,342 --> 00:43:10,768
This I gotta see.
661
00:43:18,574 --> 00:43:20,539
Nah, that's just
a regular turd.
662
00:43:20,539 --> 00:43:22,189
Looks kind of like
Winona Rider, but—
663
00:43:22,189 --> 00:43:23,529
Oof.
664
00:43:42,371 --> 00:43:43,464
Shit!
665
00:43:58,346 --> 00:43:59,527
Damn eyes!
666
00:44:03,131 --> 00:44:04,280
Damn lock.
667
00:44:08,396 --> 00:44:10,097
The Club!
668
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:12,743
What the hell?
669
00:44:16,641 --> 00:44:20,140
Stop in the name
of Haile M. Selassie.
670
00:44:20,225 --> 00:44:23,780
Don't move,
milkman, yeah.
671
00:44:23,780 --> 00:44:25,593
Good work,
Eye and Eye.
672
00:44:25,593 --> 00:44:28,453
Rastafar-eye.
673
00:44:28,453 --> 00:44:30,302
Now send the Beast Boy
674
00:44:30,302 --> 00:44:31,577
to my...
675
00:44:32,359 --> 00:44:32,969
den.
676
00:44:35,749 --> 00:44:37,613
Go to the den, mon.
677
00:44:37,622 --> 00:44:39,036
Them go in,
them never come out.
678
00:44:39,036 --> 00:44:41,094
Yeah, mon,
into the den with you.
679
00:44:53,773 --> 00:44:54,946
Diet soda?
680
00:44:55,518 --> 00:44:57,838
- No thanks.
- Fiddle faddle?
681
00:44:58,649 --> 00:45:00,216
All right.
682
00:45:07,022 --> 00:45:08,617
Mmm, delicious.
683
00:45:10,191 --> 00:45:11,188
So...
684
00:45:11,602 --> 00:45:14,136
aren't you gonna
kill me or something?
685
00:45:14,845 --> 00:45:16,796
Sure, it'd be fun, but...
686
00:45:16,796 --> 00:45:18,367
The Beast Boy's a hit!
687
00:45:18,390 --> 00:45:20,069
Look, Elijah...
688
00:45:20,083 --> 00:45:22,250
I've been in show business
all my life.
689
00:45:22,250 --> 00:45:26,742
The public does not wanna see
disgusting, depraved, violent filth.
690
00:45:26,742 --> 00:45:27,648
Oh...?
691
00:45:27,993 --> 00:45:30,975
And I suppose "Jake and The Fat Man"
was just a fluke!
692
00:45:34,427 --> 00:45:37,180
Hello.
693
00:45:37,855 --> 00:45:42,047
Listen, I'm all set to roll here.
694
00:45:42,603 --> 00:45:44,661
You've got it.
695
00:45:47,023 --> 00:45:49,223
Ciao to you too.
696
00:45:50,997 --> 00:45:53,232
Jolly son of a bitch.
697
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,800
We'll see who has the last laugh,
you jerk-off.
698
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,755
All right, Coogin.
699
00:45:58,989 --> 00:45:59,969
- Listen up.
- Hmm?
700
00:45:59,969 --> 00:46:03,738
You're gonna be a hideous
killing machine.
701
00:46:03,738 --> 00:46:06,904
Tomorrow night I'm gonna finish
the job onstage,
702
00:46:07,145 --> 00:46:09,537
and then you're gonna slaughter
all the old freaks
703
00:46:09,537 --> 00:46:13,040
and from their ashes
you'll rise...
704
00:46:13,358 --> 00:46:15,210
like a mighty phoenix—
705
00:46:15,410 --> 00:46:16,726
only a lot uglier—
706
00:46:16,865 --> 00:46:18,922
and then the whole world will—
707
00:46:19,008 --> 00:46:20,609
Hey!
708
00:46:20,609 --> 00:46:23,076
I told you, enough!
709
00:46:23,958 --> 00:46:26,365
So Elijah was going
to send you to Phoenix?
710
00:46:26,532 --> 00:46:29,681
No, he was talking
about a huge bird.
711
00:46:29,849 --> 00:46:32,667
The mythical creature?
It's just a metaphor.
712
00:46:32,945 --> 00:46:33,924
Oh.
713
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:34,802
The point is...
714
00:46:34,802 --> 00:46:37,271
Elijah wanted to turn me
into a blood-thirsty monster
715
00:46:37,271 --> 00:46:39,285
and have me kill
all my fellow freaks.
716
00:46:39,437 --> 00:46:42,631
But what he didn't know was that I left
his den with an important clue.
717
00:46:48,928 --> 00:46:50,722
Hmm... yeah!
718
00:46:53,292 --> 00:46:55,642
Come back!
719
00:47:00,087 --> 00:47:02,052
Look, another milkman!
720
00:47:04,069 --> 00:47:07,475
Hey, Rick, couldn't you come up
with your own escape plan?
721
00:47:07,475 --> 00:47:09,011
You gotta be
kidding me.
722
00:47:09,011 --> 00:47:10,653
A dozen milkmen?
723
00:47:10,653 --> 00:47:12,637
Isn't that
a little unusual?
724
00:47:12,637 --> 00:47:15,379
12 milkmen is
theoretically possible.
725
00:47:15,379 --> 00:47:18,565
- Yeah! Yeah!
- 13 is silly.
726
00:47:18,565 --> 00:47:19,170
Silly!
727
00:47:19,194 --> 00:47:20,787
Looks like one milkman
728
00:47:20,811 --> 00:47:23,187
too many, Coogin!
729
00:47:23,692 --> 00:47:25,764
- Freaks!
- Fine then!
730
00:47:25,786 --> 00:47:27,137
Go ahead!
731
00:47:27,569 --> 00:47:30,361
Hope you like reggae,
you flea-bitten bastard.
732
00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:32,439
Be very quiet.
733
00:47:35,368 --> 00:47:37,166
Ah shit.
734
00:47:38,016 --> 00:47:40,172
Look, you'll
all be killed.
735
00:47:40,172 --> 00:47:43,881
You don't know about Elijah's
giant rasta eyeballs with machine guns!
736
00:47:43,881 --> 00:47:45,150
Poor boy's gone off the deep end.
737
00:47:45,174 --> 00:47:46,688
It's suicide,
738
00:47:46,688 --> 00:47:48,237
and I can't
let you do it!
739
00:47:48,237 --> 00:47:51,585
And I cannot let you
stop us.
740
00:47:54,063 --> 00:47:56,077
Come on, Ortiz.
741
00:47:56,319 --> 00:47:57,837
Come on, you little pansy.
742
00:47:57,837 --> 00:48:00,284
Be careful, he's
rabid, he's a rabid dog!
743
00:48:01,249 --> 00:48:04,090
- Stick and move. Stick and move!
- Really swift!
744
00:48:04,098 --> 00:48:06,710
You're gonna poke an eye out!
745
00:48:09,259 --> 00:48:11,488
Kill him!
Sorry.
746
00:48:13,382 --> 00:48:16,505
That's a lot of milkmen
on the same route.
747
00:48:16,699 --> 00:48:18,645
No wonder they fight.
748
00:48:31,085 --> 00:48:32,408
Squirrel!
749
00:48:37,323 --> 00:48:40,963
- Yah, rastafar-eye!
- Holy shit!
750
00:48:41,273 --> 00:48:44,908
Two giant rasta eyeballs
just like Rick said.
751
00:48:50,866 --> 00:48:52,701
Gosh, if it wasn't
for Rick,
752
00:48:53,012 --> 00:48:54,831
we'd all be dead.
753
00:48:54,831 --> 00:48:57,860
Hey! Thanks. Ricky's good.
754
00:48:57,876 --> 00:48:59,601
- Yeah!
- Much obliged.
755
00:48:59,790 --> 00:49:01,427
Come on, you heard
the Beast Boy,
756
00:49:01,427 --> 00:49:03,808
- back to the freak house.
- Yeah!
757
00:49:05,647 --> 00:49:06,984
- Um...
- Now!
758
00:49:06,984 --> 00:49:07,775
Ah!
759
00:49:08,371 --> 00:49:10,453
All I wanted was a hug.
760
00:49:11,072 --> 00:49:13,255
Maybe I was wrong
about you, Coogin.
761
00:49:16,984 --> 00:49:19,800
Not again!
762
00:49:20,716 --> 00:49:24,005
Oh, well, at least we'll
get to try a new position.
763
00:49:24,175 --> 00:49:26,800
Says it's strong enough for a man!
764
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,722
- But it's made for a woman!
- Give me!
765
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,472
Hey!
766
00:49:31,705 --> 00:49:32,698
Rick.
767
00:49:32,930 --> 00:49:34,681
- What's up?
- Read this.
768
00:49:34,695 --> 00:49:36,876
I grabbed it
from Skuggs' den.
769
00:49:37,539 --> 00:49:40,305
"Buy more fiddle faddle,
tape Donahue,
770
00:49:40,305 --> 00:49:42,352
renew subscription
to Beaver World."
771
00:49:42,352 --> 00:49:44,257
Beaver world?!
Let me see that?
772
00:49:45,832 --> 00:49:47,358
After that.
773
00:49:48,966 --> 00:49:51,008
"Prepare demonstration
for Laughing Man,
774
00:49:51,008 --> 00:49:54,296
receive 5,000 barrels
of Zygrot-24"?!
775
00:49:54,683 --> 00:49:56,616
Elijah's up
for something big.
776
00:49:56,616 --> 00:49:58,019
We have to stop him.
777
00:49:58,917 --> 00:50:00,747
We're done for!
We're done for!
778
00:50:00,747 --> 00:50:03,139
I don't wanna die!
It's the end of the world!
779
00:50:03,139 --> 00:50:05,905
The apocalypse!
780
00:50:06,028 --> 00:50:07,834
I haven't
said anything yet.
781
00:50:07,858 --> 00:50:10,985
Sorry. I'm—I'm not much for timing.
782
00:50:12,192 --> 00:50:13,307
Look,
783
00:50:15,826 --> 00:50:18,275
I'll be turned
into an evil superfreak
784
00:50:18,285 --> 00:50:20,219
and forced
to kill you all,
785
00:50:20,699 --> 00:50:23,470
but we might have a chance
if we act fast.
786
00:50:23,793 --> 00:50:25,739
And I'm prepared to be...
787
00:50:26,015 --> 00:50:27,911
your new leader.
788
00:50:28,604 --> 00:50:30,681
- I say we kill him.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
789
00:50:30,713 --> 00:50:33,744
And I've got a plan!
790
00:50:34,094 --> 00:50:36,594
- I still say we kill him!
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
791
00:50:36,594 --> 00:50:38,708
If we can just get
to Elijah's lab,
792
00:50:38,713 --> 00:50:40,272
- maybe we can—
- Of course!
793
00:50:40,547 --> 00:50:43,337
Design an ointment to turn you
into a good superfreak
794
00:50:43,337 --> 00:50:47,148
and program it to make you destroy
Elijah instead of us!
795
00:50:47,664 --> 00:50:49,610
- Brilliant!
- Oh.
796
00:50:49,610 --> 00:50:51,997
- Well, actually, I was—
- How do we get to the lab?
797
00:50:52,052 --> 00:50:55,334
- Uh—
- Right, the Worm can dig a tunnel.
798
00:50:55,620 --> 00:50:58,059
My god, it's so crazy
it just might work.
799
00:50:58,059 --> 00:51:00,355
But you need Zygrot-24
to make the freak sludge
800
00:51:00,365 --> 00:51:01,667
and Elijah told us himself
801
00:51:01,667 --> 00:51:04,172
- he's run out of it.
- Oh! Oh, yeah.
802
00:51:04,179 --> 00:51:06,585
- Well, what if we just—
- Yes, exactly!
803
00:51:06,585 --> 00:51:09,296
If they've been using Zygrot-24 as a
fertilizer around here,
804
00:51:09,296 --> 00:51:11,338
then the entire ecosystem
must be soaked with it.
805
00:51:11,338 --> 00:51:13,918
All we need is a way to extract it
from the vegetation.
806
00:51:13,918 --> 00:51:15,917
- Ideally in a liquid form.
- Right.
807
00:51:15,917 --> 00:51:20,675
Golly! So that's why my milk comes out
that weird blue color.
808
00:51:20,675 --> 00:51:23,249
I thought the grass
tasted funny.
809
00:51:23,692 --> 00:51:27,463
- Wow, Rick, you're a genius!
810
00:51:27,479 --> 00:51:29,054
- Nosey: All right.- Good thinking, Rick!
811
00:51:31,703 --> 00:51:34,695
That's cool, Rick.
Tell me, how do you think of such a plan?
812
00:51:35,459 --> 00:51:37,377
Well... actually,
813
00:51:37,631 --> 00:51:40,365
I was gonna suggest
we send away for sea monkeys,
814
00:51:40,365 --> 00:51:42,929
train them to fire guns
and make a break for it.
815
00:51:43,949 --> 00:51:47,833
But if you— if you wanna go with this
good superfreak thing, I...
816
00:51:48,258 --> 00:51:49,621
I guess
that's okay.
817
00:52:22,876 --> 00:52:26,162
Hey! Turn off
that goddamn music!
818
00:52:30,599 --> 00:52:33,751
Sorry!
819
00:52:33,778 --> 00:52:36,177
What a jerk!
820
00:52:50,420 --> 00:52:52,167
I hate it
when you do that.
821
00:53:00,871 --> 00:53:03,492
- Hey, look at this.
- What?
822
00:53:09,661 --> 00:53:14,052
Good lord, it's the lost city
of Nod!
823
00:53:14,052 --> 00:53:15,882
Wow!
824
00:53:17,581 --> 00:53:21,330
- It's old faithful.
- Ooh!
825
00:53:23,689 --> 00:53:26,218
- It's my aunt Gertie and uncle Sid.
- Oh.
826
00:53:27,140 --> 00:53:30,419
- It's my bar mitzvah!
- Come on, Ernie, let's go.
827
00:53:30,444 --> 00:53:31,716
Wait, wait. You gotta see
the one
828
00:53:31,716 --> 00:53:34,904
where Rabbi Katz laughed so hard
noodle pudding came out his nose.
829
00:53:34,904 --> 00:53:35,861
- It was—
- Stooge!
830
00:53:43,830 --> 00:53:45,395
Nice digging, Worm.
831
00:53:48,515 --> 00:53:50,398
Back off, okay?
832
00:53:50,414 --> 00:53:53,351
I have got a real short fuse today.
I am cranky,
833
00:53:53,351 --> 00:53:55,964
I am bloated and I have
a wicked case of cramps.
834
00:53:55,964 --> 00:53:57,231
Don't ask why!
835
00:53:57,255 --> 00:53:58,580
PMS?
836
00:53:59,196 --> 00:54:01,193
Caught ya, freaks!
837
00:54:01,459 --> 00:54:04,947
Ha, I fooled you. You didn't know
I did impressions, did you?
838
00:54:07,128 --> 00:54:09,168
Hey, guys,
mission accomplished.
839
00:54:09,168 --> 00:54:12,057
They've got the Zygrot-24 and they've
broken through into the lab.
840
00:54:16,575 --> 00:54:18,801
No! Can't you see?!
841
00:54:18,807 --> 00:54:20,885
We're digging our own grave!
It's nuts!
842
00:54:20,885 --> 00:54:23,854
That's what it is, nuts!
Well maybe you've all got a death wish,
843
00:54:23,854 --> 00:54:26,893
but you can count me out!
I'm getting the hell out of here!
844
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,993
Nobody move,
nobody get hurt.
845
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:45,771
Out of my way!
846
00:55:01,782 --> 00:55:03,896
Dat sock
full of holes, mon.
847
00:55:10,264 --> 00:55:11,715
What a mess.
848
00:55:16,265 --> 00:55:19,004
I just want to say...
849
00:55:20,586 --> 00:55:22,113
What is it, kid?
850
00:55:23,789 --> 00:55:25,789
Aw, forget it.
851
00:55:26,005 --> 00:55:28,730
I'm not much
for dying.
852
00:55:30,294 --> 00:55:32,704
Aw, he's better off.
853
00:55:33,513 --> 00:55:34,938
It's a blessing.
854
00:55:38,966 --> 00:55:41,323
I've hacked into Elijah's
superfreak program.
855
00:55:42,013 --> 00:55:44,518
My God,
it's complex.
856
00:55:48,101 --> 00:55:50,280
Okay, guys,
we've got a job to do.
857
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:53,125
Let's do it
and keep quiet, okay?
858
00:56:10,077 --> 00:56:11,454
Oops.
859
00:56:11,999 --> 00:56:14,177
Now look,
from now on,
860
00:56:14,177 --> 00:56:16,328
no more screw-ups,
okay?
861
00:56:19,639 --> 00:56:21,773
Styrofoam cup?
862
00:56:29,191 --> 00:56:31,362
Here it comes. It's working.
863
00:56:33,820 --> 00:56:35,134
Somebody's comin'.
864
00:56:38,597 --> 00:56:40,143
It's plugged up.
865
00:56:40,143 --> 00:56:43,019
This is your fault.
I will wring your wormy neck!
866
00:56:43,167 --> 00:56:45,081
Preposterous!
I have no neck,
867
00:56:45,081 --> 00:56:46,892
I'm a worm,
imbecile!
868
00:56:55,634 --> 00:56:57,089
God damn!
869
00:56:57,636 --> 00:56:59,727
Buttered popcorn on my...
870
00:57:05,712 --> 00:57:08,198
The tunnel walls are
about to collapse!
871
00:57:08,882 --> 00:57:10,522
You go ahead. I'll catch up.
872
00:57:10,522 --> 00:57:12,176
- But Rick—
- Go!
873
00:57:12,176 --> 00:57:14,942
Yeah, go.
I'll stay here with Rick.
874
00:57:14,947 --> 00:57:16,781
Come on, let's—
875
00:57:42,492 --> 00:57:43,492
Hmm.
876
00:57:52,733 --> 00:57:55,382
Bad for the environment.
877
00:58:00,834 --> 00:58:01,947
I think
I see him!
878
00:58:01,947 --> 00:58:03,863
- It's close.
- Rick!
879
00:58:03,873 --> 00:58:06,599
Come on, Rick!
880
00:58:07,582 --> 00:58:11,159
- Just made it.
- Okay, everybody, listen up.
881
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:13,963
Now, we cracked the code and made
the ointment we need
882
00:58:13,988 --> 00:58:17,350
- to bring Skuggs down for good.
- All right!
883
00:58:17,350 --> 00:58:20,619
But... I left it in the lab.
884
00:58:22,459 --> 00:58:24,772
Wait! Wait! Wait!
885
00:58:24,925 --> 00:58:28,029
I found some macaroons
and there's plenty for all of us!
886
00:58:31,407 --> 00:58:33,692
I hate macaroons.
887
00:59:00,137 --> 00:59:03,810
E.E.S. is in bed
with Elijah C. Skuggs.
888
00:59:07,070 --> 00:59:09,186
Damn!
889
00:59:10,771 --> 00:59:12,968
It's nice to see you
in the flesh...
890
00:59:13,247 --> 00:59:14,425
Laughing Man.
891
00:59:15,816 --> 00:59:18,418
I think we can dispense
with the codenames, Elijah.
892
00:59:18,418 --> 00:59:19,735
We're all
friends here.
893
00:59:21,322 --> 00:59:23,509
And to prove it,
we brought you a little present.
894
00:59:27,945 --> 00:59:30,718
- Rick, is that you?!
- Who's the troll?
895
00:59:30,718 --> 00:59:32,644
He was asking
questions about Coogin,
896
00:59:32,644 --> 00:59:34,700
causing trouble.
We figured he was one of yours.
897
00:59:34,704 --> 00:59:37,976
Well, I make freaks, all right,
but come on, fellas,
898
00:59:37,976 --> 00:59:39,375
this thing is pathetic!
899
00:59:39,399 --> 00:59:43,321
Well you're no Julio Iglesias
yourself, mister!
900
00:59:45,007 --> 00:59:46,869
Rick!
901
00:59:48,021 --> 00:59:50,496
Oh no,
not now, Stuey!
902
00:59:51,341 --> 00:59:54,058
Hey, where are you?
903
00:59:54,073 --> 00:59:56,389
I'm in the lab!
I'm in the lab!
904
00:59:56,389 --> 00:59:59,662
- I'm in the lab!
- Not only ugly, he's...
905
01:00:00,140 --> 01:00:01,469
crazy too.
906
01:00:01,884 --> 01:00:03,024
Toad.
907
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,337
Gentlemen...
908
01:00:19,256 --> 01:00:21,012
I'm not gonna
bullshit you.
909
01:00:21,947 --> 01:00:24,186
I know my setup
here at Freek Land
910
01:00:24,186 --> 01:00:26,795
looks like
small potatoes,
911
01:00:27,316 --> 01:00:30,528
but thanks to your Zygrot-24
and my genius
912
01:00:30,528 --> 01:00:33,840
tonight, I'm gonna turn Ricky Coogin
into a freak so hideous,
913
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,555
it'll be enough to make your stomach
turn inside-out,
914
01:00:36,555 --> 01:00:38,849
it'll boil your brain
in its own juices
915
01:00:38,849 --> 01:00:41,213
and it'll make a cold sore that you
thought had healed up
916
01:00:41,213 --> 01:00:44,183
- starts bugging you again.
- Hmm.
917
01:00:44,633 --> 01:00:47,674
It's the dawning
of a new age.
918
01:00:47,674 --> 01:00:49,539
A new beginning!
919
01:00:50,561 --> 01:00:52,184
Behold!
920
01:00:52,561 --> 01:00:57,556
Supra-mega Freek World!
921
01:01:00,098 --> 01:01:01,762
It's really
something, huh?
922
01:01:05,026 --> 01:01:06,702
Very impressive.
923
01:01:07,477 --> 01:01:10,344
We'll kick
Disney's dead ass.
924
01:01:10,943 --> 01:01:13,709
Stuey. Stuey,
can you hear me?
925
01:01:13,709 --> 01:01:16,803
I want you to try and escape.
926
01:01:16,803 --> 01:01:19,113
Bring me the can on the floor near
the blast furnace.
927
01:01:19,215 --> 01:01:21,124
I like your spirit, Skuggs,
928
01:01:21,487 --> 01:01:23,145
but Disney?
Come on.
929
01:01:23,511 --> 01:01:24,639
I like "Bambi."
930
01:01:24,663 --> 01:01:26,004
"Bambi" sucked.
931
01:01:26,004 --> 01:01:27,902
What about the part
where the mother got shot?
932
01:01:27,902 --> 01:01:30,022
Yeah—yeah I liked
that part.
933
01:01:30,022 --> 01:01:32,085
- Well, I liked it too.- Yeah.
934
01:01:36,952 --> 01:01:39,437
We here at E.E.S.
have plans
935
01:01:39,437 --> 01:01:41,483
for your gene machine
that include everything.
936
01:01:41,483 --> 01:01:44,390
- Hmm?
- Well, everything except shoes, of course.
937
01:01:48,046 --> 01:01:50,497
Oh, I'd love
to see your plans.
938
01:01:51,167 --> 01:01:53,230
Well, I'd love
to show 'em to you.
939
01:01:53,641 --> 01:01:56,018
Bill, would you
do the honors?
940
01:02:08,496 --> 01:02:11,734
What does today's
businessman want?
941
01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:13,233
Well...
942
01:02:14,305 --> 01:02:15,766
How about
a receptionist
943
01:02:15,766 --> 01:02:19,756
with six arms, three mouths
and a knockout figure?
944
01:02:19,756 --> 01:02:21,990
That would sure speed things up,
wouldn't it?
945
01:02:22,264 --> 01:02:23,877
Or, down at the factory,
946
01:02:23,877 --> 01:02:25,913
how do we fight
the rising problem
947
01:02:25,913 --> 01:02:28,956
of sagging productivity
from lazy workers?
948
01:02:29,311 --> 01:02:32,555
How about a workerwith 12 busy hands,
949
01:02:32,555 --> 01:02:35,072
no mouth to talk back,
no genitalia
950
01:02:35,072 --> 01:02:37,981
or gastro-intestinal system
to distract him from his work?
951
01:02:37,981 --> 01:02:41,276
Sure, it's what we all dream about,
isn't it?
952
01:02:41,390 --> 01:02:45,536
Well, with this Skuggs-based
Zygrot technology,
953
01:02:45,536 --> 01:02:47,533
these things
are not only possible,
954
01:02:47,739 --> 01:02:50,153
they are
only the beginning.
955
01:02:50,153 --> 01:02:51,754
We're poised on the edge
956
01:02:51,754 --> 01:02:52,902
of a new frontier
957
01:02:52,902 --> 01:02:55,337
limited only
by our imaginations.
958
01:02:56,135 --> 01:03:00,273
Of course, what happened to our
expensive spokesman Ricky Coogin
959
01:03:00,273 --> 01:03:02,420
was an unfortunate coincidence.
960
01:03:02,604 --> 01:03:05,484
On the other hand,
profits from these new markets
961
01:03:05,930 --> 01:03:08,415
could total
in the billions.
962
01:03:09,017 --> 01:03:10,379
Ricky who?
963
01:03:14,210 --> 01:03:15,139
Hey!
964
01:03:15,163 --> 01:03:16,167
Now hold on.
965
01:03:16,483 --> 01:03:19,713
Secretaries,
worker drones—
966
01:03:19,945 --> 01:03:21,317
where's the fun, huh?
967
01:03:21,317 --> 01:03:23,079
Where—
where's the spark?
968
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,919
Where's the—
the unspeakable evil?
969
01:03:26,108 --> 01:03:27,820
I was just
getting to that.
970
01:03:27,820 --> 01:03:30,224
We are gonna impact
every field—
971
01:03:30,224 --> 01:03:33,208
cosmetics, military,
novelty house pets.
972
01:03:33,208 --> 01:03:35,543
And why should we stop
at consumer products?
973
01:03:35,543 --> 01:03:38,170
Hell, we can design
a whole new consumer.
974
01:03:38,236 --> 01:03:41,650
A few well-placed drops in the
water supply and bingo!
975
01:03:41,848 --> 01:03:43,891
It's a whole new
master race,
976
01:03:44,182 --> 01:03:46,241
and we own
the copyright!
977
01:03:46,257 --> 01:03:48,254
This guy is good.
978
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:50,757
We lured him away
from Pepsi.
979
01:03:50,757 --> 01:03:53,172
Right here,
right now,
980
01:03:53,172 --> 01:03:55,296
we are building
a better tomorrow
981
01:03:55,296 --> 01:03:59,354
for those who uphold
the vision of E.E.S.!
982
01:03:59,388 --> 01:04:01,856
Bill, if I could
just add one thing?
983
01:04:02,906 --> 01:04:04,510
Those who dare oppose us
984
01:04:04,510 --> 01:04:08,267
will stand knee-deep in the blood
of their children.
985
01:04:20,317 --> 01:04:21,785
And now
986
01:04:21,785 --> 01:04:23,957
the moment
you've all been waiting for,
987
01:04:23,957 --> 01:04:25,663
ladies and gentlemen,
988
01:04:25,817 --> 01:04:28,375
the Beast Boy!
989
01:04:33,763 --> 01:04:34,879
Rick!
990
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,380
- Over here, Rick!- Where?
991
01:04:38,433 --> 01:04:42,266
With this remarkable
ointment of my own design,
992
01:04:42,266 --> 01:04:46,177
I am going to transform
this half-finished ghoul
993
01:04:46,177 --> 01:04:49,951
into the ultimate
stomach-turning superfreak
994
01:04:50,203 --> 01:04:52,852
dedicated to evil.
995
01:04:53,778 --> 01:04:54,943
Here I am, Rick!
996
01:04:54,943 --> 01:04:57,282
Goddamn it, kid,
would you sit down?
997
01:05:01,549 --> 01:05:05,078
- Oh no!
- Aw shit. Move down.
998
01:05:06,814 --> 01:05:08,650
What the hell?
999
01:05:10,820 --> 01:05:13,240
You got
a problem, mister?
1000
01:05:19,198 --> 01:05:22,030
Yah!
1001
01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:26,389
Your ass is mine, Skuggs!
1002
01:05:26,553 --> 01:05:28,789
This kid looks pissed.
1003
01:05:30,168 --> 01:05:32,262
Eye and Eye,
kill him!
1004
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:36,212
Ugly, ugly, ugly boy.
1005
01:05:36,215 --> 01:05:38,687
Big ugly boy.
1006
01:05:42,057 --> 01:05:43,645
Damn my eyes!
1007
01:05:44,312 --> 01:05:46,095
- Toad!
- What?
1008
01:05:48,130 --> 01:05:50,779
Ooh, I'm shakin'!
1009
01:05:50,779 --> 01:05:52,554
Ah! Help!
1010
01:05:55,857 --> 01:05:56,573
Huh?
1011
01:05:59,263 --> 01:06:00,990
Shit.
1012
01:06:06,850 --> 01:06:10,045
Help! I'm in a zoo!
1013
01:06:13,767 --> 01:06:16,171
It looks like it's time
to bring out the big gun.
1014
01:06:16,796 --> 01:06:18,843
- Sayonara, kiddo.
- No!
1015
01:06:23,382 --> 01:06:24,282
Rick!
1016
01:06:32,891 --> 01:06:34,973
What a waste of 12 bucks.
1017
01:06:35,428 --> 01:06:36,945
Let's get
the machine and go.
1018
01:06:38,058 --> 01:06:40,404
- Come on!
- Right now!
1019
01:06:40,693 --> 01:06:43,084
Wait, Rick! Could you
sign this first?
1020
01:06:43,084 --> 01:06:45,119
Time to die, troll!
1021
01:06:45,953 --> 01:06:47,836
Fight! Fight! Fight!
1022
01:06:47,836 --> 01:06:50,288
Let's go, dickhead!
1023
01:07:04,186 --> 01:07:06,418
Give him the skull cracker,
you big oaf!
1024
01:07:06,481 --> 01:07:09,167
No way!
The skull cracker is an illegal move!
1025
01:07:09,479 --> 01:07:10,206
Ooh!
1026
01:07:10,299 --> 01:07:12,396
I'm number one!
1027
01:07:12,420 --> 01:07:14,336
I'm number one!
1028
01:07:14,359 --> 01:07:17,258
I'm betting my
bar mitzvah money!
1029
01:07:17,266 --> 01:07:19,913
Let's get this over with.
Hey, Dick!
1030
01:07:24,522 --> 01:07:26,071
What the hell
are you doing?
1031
01:07:27,033 --> 01:07:29,328
This machine is now
the sole property
1032
01:07:29,353 --> 01:07:31,717
of the Everything
Except Shoes corporation.
1033
01:07:31,717 --> 01:07:34,328
- What?!
- Eat shit, yokel.
1034
01:07:38,753 --> 01:07:42,208
I knew I couldn't trust
you corporate greaseballs!
1035
01:07:47,314 --> 01:07:49,331
Move that thing!
1036
01:07:50,572 --> 01:07:52,691
Eat this, Dick!
1037
01:07:57,623 --> 01:08:00,788
Head for the hills!
Before he gets all of us!
1038
01:08:03,294 --> 01:08:04,570
Oof! Ow!
1039
01:08:04,570 --> 01:08:07,724
Boy, I haven't seen
a stampede like this
1040
01:08:07,724 --> 01:08:10,437
since the opening night
of "Ishtar!"
1041
01:08:18,792 --> 01:08:21,924
Now, I rip freaks
to pieces!
1042
01:08:21,924 --> 01:08:25,050
Kill Nosey! You always hated Nosey!
1043
01:08:31,023 --> 01:08:33,781
Please! Rick, no, Rick!
1044
01:08:33,781 --> 01:08:35,039
Please!
1045
01:08:35,060 --> 01:08:36,420
Oof. What the...
1046
01:08:44,015 --> 01:08:47,200
Now that's a really big shoe.
1047
01:08:54,179 --> 01:08:55,308
Rick.
1048
01:08:55,308 --> 01:08:57,529
Would you kill him,
please?
1049
01:08:58,818 --> 01:09:00,316
- Kill him! Kill him!
1050
01:09:00,316 --> 01:09:01,270
Kill him!
1051
01:09:01,281 --> 01:09:03,421
- Then just as I—
- Sorry to interrupt you, Rick,
1052
01:09:03,445 --> 01:09:05,392
but you've been talking
for almost 90 minutes
1053
01:09:05,416 --> 01:09:07,782
and we really have got
to go to a commercial.
1054
01:09:07,983 --> 01:09:09,890
Oh, sorry.
1055
01:09:11,931 --> 01:09:14,131
You like being a man.
1056
01:09:14,143 --> 01:09:16,396
That's why you'll like...
1057
01:09:16,557 --> 01:09:20,357
Macheesmo!
Real cheese for real men.
1058
01:09:20,357 --> 01:09:22,039
Now in a handy
aluminum dispenser.
1059
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,148
And now back
to the exciting conclusion
1060
01:09:27,148 --> 01:09:30,015
of Ricky Coogin's
incredible story.
1061
01:09:30,598 --> 01:09:34,290
Let's see, it seemed like nothing could
stop me from shoving a spear
1062
01:09:34,290 --> 01:09:35,571
through Stuey's skull.
1063
01:09:36,006 --> 01:09:37,046
When all of a sudden—
1064
01:09:37,046 --> 01:09:38,979
- No, Rick, no!
- I heard a voice.
1065
01:09:38,996 --> 01:09:41,309
I reckon that
troll can help you
1066
01:09:41,309 --> 01:09:43,877
if you just let him
into your heart.
1067
01:09:44,184 --> 01:09:47,389
Your heart,
your heart...
1068
01:09:47,389 --> 01:09:51,869
Your heart, your heart,
your heart.
1069
01:09:57,719 --> 01:10:01,803
I... love... you.
1070
01:10:04,366 --> 01:10:06,440
You did it, Rick.
1071
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,189
- Atta boy, Coog.
- Oh.
1072
01:10:10,491 --> 01:10:11,672
A dose of...
1073
01:10:11,801 --> 01:10:13,089
sentimental claptrap.
1074
01:10:20,245 --> 01:10:22,840
Beast Boy!
I gave you an order!
1075
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:26,204
- And you better obey it, damn it!
- It's over, Skuggs!
1076
01:10:26,204 --> 01:10:28,448
You were nothing
before I found you!
1077
01:10:28,563 --> 01:10:30,687
I made you!
1078
01:10:31,014 --> 01:10:32,488
And I can break you!
1079
01:10:32,905 --> 01:10:34,697
You think I made
you strong?!
1080
01:10:34,697 --> 01:10:37,593
Ha! I've got my DNA
cranked so high,
1081
01:10:37,867 --> 01:10:39,617
you won't know
what hit you!
1082
01:10:39,617 --> 01:10:41,485
I'm a wrecking
machine!
1083
01:10:59,187 --> 01:11:01,230
Ow!
Oh!
1084
01:11:04,610 --> 01:11:07,073
I think you crushed
my spinal cord.
1085
01:11:08,525 --> 01:11:10,502
I can't feel anything
in my fingers.
1086
01:11:10,502 --> 01:11:12,611
Maybe you'll feel this.
1087
01:11:12,611 --> 01:11:14,174
No, wait a minute!
Wait, wait, wait!
1088
01:11:14,174 --> 01:11:18,249
If you kill me, you'll never find
the antidote.
1089
01:11:18,249 --> 01:11:20,649
- What antidote?
- Aha ha.
1090
01:11:21,581 --> 01:11:23,584
A time-release serum.
1091
01:11:23,606 --> 01:11:26,389
I baked it into
a delicious batch...
1092
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,629
of macaroons.
1093
01:11:29,009 --> 01:11:30,610
- Hmm.
- Macaroons! Nice.
1094
01:11:30,610 --> 01:11:32,468
That is so cool.
1095
01:11:33,463 --> 01:11:36,078
If you ask me,
you skimped on the coconut.
1096
01:11:45,851 --> 01:11:47,476
Oh!
1097
01:12:00,622 --> 01:12:02,910
Freeze! F.B.I.!
1098
01:12:05,182 --> 01:12:07,125
Looks like they took care
of Skuggs, chief.
1099
01:12:07,125 --> 01:12:08,934
Nice work, Ricky.
1100
01:12:09,630 --> 01:12:11,805
You'll get a medal from the
Vice President for this.
1101
01:12:11,815 --> 01:12:13,795
Great, but how did you—
1102
01:12:13,795 --> 01:12:15,990
We've been following
skuggs for years.
1103
01:12:16,586 --> 01:12:19,012
Then when we saw
Mr. Gluck's article,
1104
01:12:19,298 --> 01:12:20,873
we knew
it was time to move.
1105
01:12:20,873 --> 01:12:23,471
- So what took you so long?
- Well, first, there was that
1106
01:12:24,266 --> 01:12:26,547
Satan's child thing
on page three.
1107
01:12:26,547 --> 01:12:27,904
- Oh.
- Yeah, I read that.
1108
01:12:27,904 --> 01:12:28,534
Then...
1109
01:12:28,809 --> 01:12:31,045
there was the case of the house
that dripped blood.
1110
01:12:31,045 --> 01:12:32,364
Ew!
1111
01:12:35,683 --> 01:12:37,301
Whoa!
Look at that thing!
1112
01:12:37,858 --> 01:12:41,281
- Holy shit!
- It can't be.
1113
01:12:42,397 --> 01:12:44,967
What the hell are you looking at?!
1114
01:12:44,967 --> 01:12:46,583
Dead meat.
1115
01:12:50,996 --> 01:12:53,222
And that's my story.
1116
01:12:54,299 --> 01:12:57,038
It was so exciting.
1117
01:12:57,041 --> 01:12:58,627
We fixed Coogin's light!
1118
01:12:58,628 --> 01:13:01,531
Oh, it's about time.
Turn it on.
1119
01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:04,735
- That's better.
- I'll say.
1120
01:13:04,860 --> 01:13:07,774
How about it, folks?
Let's hear it for Ricky Coogin
1121
01:13:07,774 --> 01:13:09,407
and his freaky friends.
1122
01:13:09,420 --> 01:13:11,475
The Bearded Lady!
1123
01:13:14,147 --> 01:13:15,983
- How you doing?
- Rosie!
1124
01:13:16,227 --> 01:13:18,657
- The Eternal Flame!
- Yeah!
1125
01:13:18,657 --> 01:13:20,758
Lights out, baby!
1126
01:13:20,758 --> 01:13:23,675
Cowboy!Frogman!
1127
01:13:23,675 --> 01:13:26,613
Nosey!
1128
01:13:26,613 --> 01:13:28,249
Get off! Get off!
1129
01:13:29,415 --> 01:13:30,935
And the Worm.
1130
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:35,386
Ridiculous. Just because a man
doesn't like macaroons.
1131
01:13:37,335 --> 01:13:38,459
Hey!
1132
01:13:39,077 --> 01:13:40,662
- Ho!
- Hi oh!
1133
01:13:43,219 --> 01:13:44,125
Gotcha!
1134
01:13:44,125 --> 01:13:45,594
Damn,
it's about time!
1135
01:13:45,623 --> 01:13:47,426
Ortiz!
1136
01:13:47,426 --> 01:13:50,263
Hey!
Hermanos!
1137
01:13:52,566 --> 01:13:54,826
That's just great.
1138
01:13:54,996 --> 01:13:57,567
What a story,
and what an ending.
1139
01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:59,826
Elijah transformed
by the goop,
1140
01:13:59,826 --> 01:14:01,183
and he actually
looked like—
1141
01:14:01,183 --> 01:14:05,126
Exactly like you, Skye, I swear.
Same face, same outfit,
1142
01:14:05,339 --> 01:14:08,182
except he had these really
big hideous feet.
1143
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:15,054
I'm gonna drink your blood!
1144
01:14:22,585 --> 01:14:25,265
- Oh, Rick, it's finally over.
- Yes.
1145
01:14:25,265 --> 01:14:26,572
Yes, it is.
1146
01:14:27,663 --> 01:14:28,538
Rick!
1147
01:14:28,538 --> 01:14:30,835
Hey, Rick!
1148
01:14:30,835 --> 01:14:32,482
Stuey!
1149
01:14:40,317 --> 01:14:42,930
Well, like that wasn't
totally predictable.
1150
01:14:44,969 --> 01:14:47,143
- Hi, Stuey.
- Well now, it's really over.
1151
01:14:47,362 --> 01:14:48,432
Thank God.
1152
01:14:48,589 --> 01:14:49,715
You know...
1153
01:14:50,204 --> 01:14:52,288
this whole thing has
taught me something.
1154
01:14:52,816 --> 01:14:55,993
That when man starts impinging on
the subtle perfection
1155
01:14:55,993 --> 01:14:57,643
of the earth's
natural order,
1156
01:14:58,298 --> 01:15:00,126
the only thing
he'll create...
1157
01:15:00,468 --> 01:15:01,509
is havoc.
1158
01:15:01,515 --> 01:15:03,088
Right, Coog.
1159
01:15:03,403 --> 01:15:04,929
I learned something too.
1160
01:15:05,388 --> 01:15:07,622
That men and women
truly are equals.
1161
01:15:07,622 --> 01:15:09,589
That the human spirit
1162
01:15:09,589 --> 01:15:12,421
transcends gender
and physical appearance.
1163
01:15:12,421 --> 01:15:15,749
And thus, it is immune
to the petty degradations
1164
01:15:15,909 --> 01:15:17,733
- men may devise.
- So true.
1165
01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:20,198
- Yeah, I believe it was Molière—
- Oh, shut up!
1166
01:15:20,198 --> 01:15:20,691
Ah!
1167
01:15:20,691 --> 01:15:21,783
Oh!
1168
01:15:24,536 --> 01:15:25,865
Aw!
1169
01:15:27,509 --> 01:15:29,448
Good night, everybody!
1170
01:15:29,454 --> 01:15:32,070
Good night!
1171
01:19:36,602 --> 01:19:37,602
Subtitles by MaG, 04/2023
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