All language subtitles for Dream.On.1x01.The.First.Episode.DVDRip-FQM.[tvu.org.ru]

[Screams]

[Whirring]

[Yelling]

What?

What? What?
What? What is it?

Your ex-wife called.

Jesus Christ, Melkis!
You scared me to death.

Your ex-wife called!

We're still married, Melkis.
We’re just separated.

She's still my wife.
[ Doorbell Buzzes ]

I get it!

Melkis. Melkis!

Find out who it is
before you buzz them in.

It's Melkis!

Perfect.

Judith.

Hello, Mrs. Tupper.
How is baby?

Hello, Melkis.
Baby is 10.

- I go dust.
- No, Melkis, you go home.

I go dust!

Okay, what did I do?

What did you do? I
must've done something.

This is Thursday. Thursday is not a
Jeremy day. Why else would you be here?

I just-- Wait, please, please.
Don't start yelling.

Whatever it is,
you're right, I'm wrong.

I'm sorry.
I'm such an asshole.

You didn't do anything.

Really?

Great! Just let all that
count for next time.

- Martin, we need to talk.
- Oh.

- It's about us.
- Really?

Us? Us, us?

I don't know how to say this.

Oh.
[Chuckling]

I think I know
where this is going.

You do?

I'm in love with you.

I don't hide it very well, do I, darling?

I want what you want.
I want to come back.

I want to be your wife.

You know, our divorce papers
have been final for quite some time,

and all that's missing
is your signature.

Oh.

Would you like some coffee?
No, thank you.

How 'bout some moo-shu? There's
more than I can eat here. I’m fine.

Dumpling?
Fortune cookie?

Martin, I want you
to sign those papers!

I-I just need a little
more time, that's all.

You've had two years!

So why now? Why?
What's the big rush?

I want to marry Richard.

- Who?
- Richard, the man I live with.

Oh.

He's the doctor, right?
Martin, don't do this.

I'm not doing anything.

I just wonder if you’re
not rushing into things.

Marriage is a very serious thing.

It means a home, family, children.

Who is rushing?

No! I am not going
to let you make me crazy.

I'm not trying to make you crazy.
Just think about it.

How much do we know
about this Richard guy?

I know that he's caring.

He's sensitive. He's sane!

I know that I love him.

I know that he's wonderful
with Jeremy.

[ Crowd Cheering]

One! Two!

Three!

I know this is difficult for you, but...

I want those papers
signed by next week.

Next week may not be good for me.
Martin, this isn't just for me.

It's time you got on
with your own life.

Okay, the book is called
Babette, a Prisoner of Passion.

For the back-jacket copy,
we're looking for something like, uh-

“Babette.
The world was her bedroom.

“From the beaches of Saint-Tropez to
the boardrooms of Manhattan's super rich.

“From the backstreets of Florence
to the pyramids of Cairo.

Babette. She was a woman
who couldn't stay put.“

No, I think you’re going
to like this one, Jack. You-

I counted 11 orgasms
before she leaves Sacramento.

Yes.

Yes, okay, but let me check with Toby.

Toby Pedalbee, my executive assistant.

It's my new secretary,
Miss Pedalbee.

What about her? She’s
just no good, that's all.

I don't mean she's no-
She's a wonderful girl.

She's beautiful,
she has a fine personality,

and I'm sure she'll make somebody
an excellent wife.

Look, don't start with me.

The copy machine is out of toner,

the coffeemaker is hemorrhaging,

and I think I’m getting
an eye infection.

I don't mean to interrupt
your personal hell,

but I was wondering if you might like
to find me the Zimmerman manuscript.

It's what I live for.

Thank you.

I won't be here tomorrow.
I'm taking a personal day.

A personal day?
Is everything all right?

It's personal!

[Ringing]

[ Ringing Continues]

[ Ringing Continues]

Martin Tupper.
Martin, it's Judith.

I wanted to make one more try.

Take me back!
Take me back, darling.

Richard and I want to talk to caterers
tonight about the wedding.

I was wondering if you could
take Jeremy for a couple hours.

Sure.

Does this mean you've set a date?
November 12.

Oh, well.
[Chuckling]

That's like 14 months away.
Two months, Martin.

Two months.
One second Judith.

Yes, Toby.

Nick Kotrackis was the only man
I ever really loved.

I’m sorry?
I was 22.

We both worked at Macy's.

He sold men's suits.
I was in complaints.

Judith, I'm going to have
to call you back.

My executive assistants
having an emotional moment.

We dated for three weeks-

the three most wonderful
weeks of my life!

Then one day we had a fight.
It was over nothing- a bagel!

But in the course of things,
I broke his nose.

- You broke his nose?
- I had a lot of anger then!

Really?

We never spoke after that.

I don't know. I kept waiting
for him to come back to me.

Six months later, he married
some bitch in men's underwear.

Martin, if you really want
this lady, go after her!

Otherwise, quit jerking off!

[ Door Slams]

[ Knocking]

Hey, buddy!
Give your dad a hug!

Hi, Dad.
How you doing?

- You look great!
- I do?

Something's different.
What's different?

You cut your hair!

Yeah, about a year ago.
Oh..

It's grown in nicely.
Thank you.

Geronimo, help me out. I’m ready to
throw my computer out the window.

Death Wizards?
I'm completely stuck.

I have my sword, my scepter,
both my brains,

but I can't figure out how to get
the magic mirror away from the evil princess.

I’ll see what I can do.
See you later, Mom.

Where you goin'? Come back here.
Can you stay a minute?

Lust

Malted milk ball?

God, you know I can't resist these.
Yep.

Why are they here?
You hate malted milk balls.

No, no, no.
I don't hate them.

I just feel bad for all
the little malted milk men.

Bullshit!
They used to make you gag.

People change.

I found something
I wanted to show you.

What is this stuff?

Just some misty,
watercolored memories.

These are from that ski trip
we took to Vermont.

Oh, the two pinecones.

I can't believe you saved these.

Oh, and here's the snow.

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Oh.
Oh, yeah.

We had some real good times,
didn't we?

Yeah, I guess we did.

Thank you for being my wife.

You know, I'd like a kiss.

I don't see why we can't have
pinecone days...

and Feliz Navidad nights again.

Whoa, wait a minute here.

Is that what this is all about?

Is what what all about?

The pinecones and malted milk balls.

Oh, my God.
You're wooing me.

Perhaps just a little woo.

Martin, you can't honestly believe there's any shred of
hope that you and I are getting back together again.

- Can I take that as a maybe?
- I won't honor that with a reply.

Wait, don't go. Remember that
little ceramic cat, huh?

♪ La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la ♪♪

Martin, you have lost your mind.

Wait. Remember these seashells from
some trip to some beach somewhere?

I’ll see you at 9:30. Wait, wait, wait!
Here's a funny hat.

[Goofy Voice]
Please, miss, don't go. Ah-huh!

Good-bye.

You love that bit.

[ Door Slams]

So tell me about this Richard guy.
You guys get along?

Yeah, we get along real great.

But I bet you don't see him a lot,
with him at the hospital all the time.

And the shelter
for the homeless.

- He volunteers at a shelter?
- Well, he kind of runs it.

Of course he does.

Then you don't see him a lot?

No. He's home pretty much.

He just budgets his time.

So what's he like?

Is he kind of serious, huh?

Likes to talk about disease
and poverty? No, Dad

We have a lot of fun.
He plays the guitar.

And this Saturday he wants
to take us to a Mets game.

Huh.

Didn't he ever consider the fact
that this Saturday is our day?

Yeah, and he wants to take us-
you and me.

Unless, of course, you don't
feel comfortable with that,

in which case he said he'd be
glad to give you the tickets.

Who is this guy?

He has turned water into wine.
He has cured the sick,

caused the blind to see
and the deaf to hear.

Geronimo, I want to talk to you about
your mom and Richard getting married.

Oh, so you want to have one
of those father-and-son things?

Well, yeah, if it's okay with you.

Sure. Go ahead.
What do you want to know?

Well, I just want to know
how you feel about it.

I feel fine, Dad.

Buddy, you don't have
to be brave with me.

You know, this isn’t just
about them getting married.

It's also about your mom
and me getting-

Divorced.

Do you understand
what that would mean?

Dad, look.

“Divorced“ is a very scary word,
but don't forget-

Although things are
going to be different,

you're still my dad, and I still love you,
and we're going to get through this.

[Announcer]
It's The Eddie Charles Show!

And now here's your host,
Eddie Charles!

Thank you.
Thank you, all.

I'm Eddie Charles.
Our guests today include...

Sylvia Andrews, a patent attorney
from Baltimore, Maryland,

Andrea Kelly, a divorce
lawyer from Dayton, Ohio,

Lydia Pinksy, a trial attorney
from right here in Manhattan,

and Ben Gogan, one of the top
litigators in the country.

Today, we explore
the strange and exciting world...

of lawyers in lingerie.

Let's start with Sylvia.

Sylvia, why lingerie?

Well, I can't speak
for my colleagues,

but for me, Eddie, it actually
started back in law school.

I was sitting in
a torts class and Professor--

O'Neill vs. the Commonwealth of Virginia
was a landmark case.

I had on a drop-waist powder
blue nightgown under my suit.

As I was making
my closing argument,

I looked down and noticed a bit of marabou
was sticking out from under my pant leg,

so l immediately tried- Ben, fantastic!
I’m sorry I have to cut you off.

But that's all the time we have left today.
I want to thank all my guests.

And for those attorneys out there
who share their secret shame,

there are no support groups,
there are no 800 numbers,

but we hope that after today,
you will realize...

you're not alone.

Take care, everyone!

Eddie! Psst! Hey!

Martin, I have known you
for 25 years,

and that is the dumbest idea
you've ever had.

What's wrong with Judith?

She's wonderful.

Not as your wife. Let's face it.
It didn't work out.

You guys grew apart. These things happen.
Not that you would know.

You've never had a relationship that
lasted longer than a breath mint.

That's fine.
Lash out at me all you need.

I can take it.

I'm adored by millions.

But that's not going to change the fact
that after a couple years...

your marriage turned to shit.

You used to talk to me.

We'd sit for hours
and talk and talk.

Whenever we went out dining,
we'd talk.

Now you never say anything
to me anymore.

I'm listening, dear.
You can talk to me.

Come on.
Things were never that bad.

Amnesia!
You're suffering from amnesia!

Just throw it away.

Come on. ls this really necessary?
Yes.

Just step on the pedal.

Tell yourself, “I'm being a dick.
The woman is history.“

And throw it away.

You know, there was this moment when
we reached the top of the mountain-

That's a really interesting anecdote.

Drop the snow.

Now, you see?
Was that so hard?

Okay, okay, okay.

- Now you know what you gotta do.
- Pull out my eye?

You've gotta start dating again.

Dating?

[Screaming]

Dating?

No. No!

Melkis.

Melkis!
Almost done.

No, no!
All done.

[Giggling]

I'll see you next Thursday.
Wednesday.

Fine.

[Knocking]
What? What?

[ Knocking]

[Gasps]

Lauren?
Martin?

Hi.
Hi.

Come on in.
Thank you.

Let me take your coat.

Mmm.

Something smells good.
Oh, thank you.

Ooh, you must've been
cooking all clay.

I just whipped up a little Caesar
salad and fettuccine marinara.

Ooh. It's a receipt.

It's an old family secret.

My grandmother uses them
instead of bay leaves.

Wine?

Thanks.

You know,

Eddie didn't give me any idea
you were this attractive.

Oh.

Well, I'm not really his type.

[Clears Throat]
Let me make a phone call.

Be my guest.

Hi, honey. Guess what.

Mmm. It's gonna be another one
of those endless nights at the office.

I'm sorry.

No, don't wait up.

I don't know how late
I'm going to be here.

Just set that anywhere, Carol.
And get me the Besserman file.

[ Clears Throat]

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Me too.

I'll see you in the morning.

So, where were we?

Your... brother?

No.

Boyfriend?

[Sighs]
No.

Husband?

[Sighs]
ls that gonna be a problem?

All right.
How long has it been going on?

Two months.

Is this the end or the beginning
of something bigger?

- We love each other. - Traditionally
it's the man who does the talking.

I am so sorry. I don't know how l could have
forgotten about this dentist appointment.

I would cancel, but oral hygiene
is so important. Don't you think?

Bye-bye.
My best to the mister.

I'm really impressed.

I've never met a man who
rolls his own sushi before.

Listen, I have to ask you a question.
Shoot.

Are you gonna fuck me over?

[Coughing]
Why? Did you hear that I might?

I just need to know. I’m not gonna invest
the next three months of my life...

only to find out you’re just
gettin' back at your ex-wife...

or you're incapable of
makin' a commitment.

She seems to be
a very unstable person.

You haven't by chance
been hurt before?

That's uncanny.
You read me so well.

See? I could really
fall for you in a big way.

That thought terrifies me.

- Me too.
- Pardon?

- More sushi?
- I just need a man who's capable of loving me.

That's all.
Martin, are you that man?

People need to love each other.

You can't live without love.

Jane! No!

[ Screaming]

Oh, my God.

Six weeks to live?
Are they sure?

Yes.

So if you’re looking for
a long-term relationship,

I’m afraid I’m not the guy for you.

This always happens to me.

Too tight?
Tighter.

♪♪[ Woman Singing Opera]

I've never done anything
like this before.

You're doing fine.

Eddie told me you were into some
interesting stuff, but I had no idea.

Are you sure about this?

Oh, yes.

Start at the toes.

You got it.

[Panting]

So, you're into real estate.

Don't talk.
Right, right.

I'm a little concerned
about the cholesterol.

- Martin!
- Right.

Mmm. Mmm.

[ Panting] Yes. Mm-hmm?

Oh! Oh, yes!

[Coughs]

Yes!

Mmm. Mmm. I think we could
use some pudding here.

- Don't stop.
- Mmm.

Hey, are you all right?
You look lousy.

- Don't stop.
- I'll be right back.

Martin? Martin?

Martin!
Martin!

Martin, you have a simple
upset stomach, that's all.

Here. Take this.

Oh.
You're fine.

I don't feel fine.

I’m gonna die!
[ Woman ] Stevie, you're not gonna die.

I'm gonna try.
I'm gonna try real hard.

- Where's Jeremy?
- In the living room.

Look. Richard's waiting for me
downstairs in the car.

I just need those papers.

Right. They're over there on the table.

There's a pen there too.

I know this is really hard
to believe right now,

but I promise you, there will come
a day when you'll get over me.

Oh.
Judith, I’m over you.

It took me long enough to see it,
but we were a lousy couple.

We had our problems, but I--

No, no, no. We stunk.

Well, I-I think that's a little strong.

Come on.
Toward the end there,

I was impossible,
and you- you were a bitch.

You gave me ulcers.
They weren't ulcers. You had gas.

We weren't meant
to be together.

Well, I think this is all very healthy.

- I wouldn't get involved with you again if-
- Enough, Martin!

Sorry.

So, here.

What? What is it?

[Sighs]
Judith.

The day our divorce becomes final,
I won't be able to kid myself anymore.

I'm closer to 40
than I am to 30,

and I don't have
anyone in my life.

I’ll be all alone.
[Jeremy] ♪Da, da, da, da♪

Here we go.

We have orange juice. I made
it myself from concentrate.

We have a choice of bran flakes, bran
nuggets and new squares o' bran.

A cup of herbal tea
and for dessert,

fresh strawberries
and whipped cream.

Why do you have so many cans
of whipped cream, Dad?

Now, I seem to remember
you saying something about...

how there's no one in your life,
and you're all alone.

H-He can see!

Here you go.
I'm sorry it took so long.

I hope you and Richard
will be very happy together.

Martin?
Yeah.

- You didn't sign it.
- Oh, right.

[ Pen Scribbling]

So, what's the plan
for today, sport?

How 'bout Coney Island?
Great!

- I thought you were sick.
- Not that sick.

A minute ago, you were
ready to have me call 911.

Fine. You don't want us to go,
we won't go.

I don't care what you do. Go ahead.
Go. Eat corn clogs, get sicker.

- We can stay home and play computer games.
- Fine, if it'll make your mother feel--

- Don't put this on me.
- Hey, you guys!

- Who's putting it on you?
- Oh, fine.

- Oh, I hate that “fine"
- Come on, you guys, don't fight.

[Together]
We're not fighting!

[Indistinct Arguing]

Wait a minute!

Listen to us.

We're still a family.

It's easy to hurt people,
Joey, when you try.

Helpin' 'em, lovin' 'em,
that's the real trick.

Otherwise, if you must know,

I feel just like
a Senior Blue Beaver.

Senior Blue Beaver?