Original subtitles

I swear I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna graduate you.

Yow!

I'll drink to that.

You know how I like to be you.

I used to think that my English sex was enough.

Some guys like crazy. Believe me.

Dude, that's wack.

I thought this was journalism 101. Not sex ed.

Excuse me, I need to get to see ass.

Any questions?

Boys lead to trouble.

What does it have to?

I wouldn't know what to do with she baby.

You're had a good idea what to do with me other night.

(horn blowing)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- God.

I'm a husband.

Thought I was going to be your voicemail.

[MUSIC]

*falls through the door*

*starts to say to the kiss*

*starts to say to the kiss*

*starts to say to the kiss*

*starts to accept her'e falling*

"I'll use your tongue like a spiritual force."

*starts to accept her'e falling*

That ties my brother's life!

[.ul]

[.ul]

[.ul]

(dramatic music)

Oh, right there, oh. Right there? Right there?

(and now for the rest of the world.)

Zack...

Zack!

Zack...

Zack...

I would very much appreciate it.

If you would take a break from your own wing and do some actual cleaning.

I got cleansing.

Cleaning?

Cleansing!

Make it of energies, removing cheap blockages.

Well, there's a massive cheap blockage in the men's toilet.

So how about you grab a plunger and get to work?

The funk schwaize all wrong.

Tiders restless. The turtles all turned around.

And your head is up your ass.

I'm afraid we're closed.

Hi.

Um... Hello.

Can we talk?

Yes. Let's do that. Let's really talk.

No, just me and her.

Some more private.

Now I said that I want you to explore your sexuality just to make sure that you weren't just confused.

And I appreciate your openness.

But in truth, I was one that was confused when I saw you with that guy.

When I heard you with Larry...

I can stop thinking about you.

Let's start over.

What better place in here?

This time, we blow your mind.

Okay.

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There's no story here.

Except that our exes hooked up.

Well, it's horrifying as that sounds.

This isn't going to satisfy the Dean. He needs something slacious, something scandalous.

Something that's going to help shut that bar down.

(music)

Now, if he wants lacious and scandalous...

That's exactly what he does not want. If those pictures got out, he'd never live it down.

(music)

I can't believe he's with her.

I can't believe she's with him. She's an amazing teacher, an amazing dancer.

She's so gifted. I mean, what is she seeing a Neanderthal bartender like him anyway?

Hey! That's my ex-husband you're talking about.

And he's not that bad. I mean, he did save his family's business.

And I was really teaching these kids something.

Well, kind of sounds like somebody's not over the wrecks.

I am totally. You sound like you're not over her.

What happened happened? It's water under the bridge. I'm with you now.

(music)

She looks good there, huh?

(music)

I can't believe he's with her.

Why can't? She is a hell of a girl.

Do you still have feelings for her?

I mean, do you ever get over your first wife?

Who you never really divorced and then almost married again?

Whoa, slow down. You're still married?

Well, according to her, no.

And according to you?

Well, I mean, gosh, I don't know.

Maybe you need some time to work things out.

No, trust me. It took me seven years to graduate.

I don't work quickly.

I gotta get going. The dance performance is in two weeks.

And I still got a lot of work to do.

Okay, take the dance money with you. Okay, hold on.

Did you unlock this?

No, why?

(music)

The money is gone!

We gotta call the police!

Well, we cannot call the police. That's exactly what the dean wants.

Proof that I'm incompetent to run this place.

What are we gonna do?

(sighs)

(laughs)

Where is it? Where is it?

What the hell is his problem?

Where is it?

He said something like he lost the chi.

Whatever that means. He's lost his marbles.

The few he had left.

I haven't told anyone about us yet.

Where is it?

I see. Are you ashamed?

No, no, it's... I don't want to hurt Sierra's feelings.

I don't know where we are, you know?

Well, we are here. In the bar. On the seat.

Where is it?

Still here.

Where are Max Wellman Don?

Neither of them have been in class for a while.

Okay, forget about them. We've got a problem.

Thank God.

Are we finally gonna have an intervention for the Dolly Lesmas?

We all need to open up our chakras.

Oh, I will open up your chakras in a minute when I shove those incense sticks where the sun doesn't shine.

No, Karen, listen, okay? This is a lot more serious than Zach's spiritual awakening.

Okay, something happened here. Something that cannot be condoned.

I don't think it's anyone's place to judge.

Victoria, this is a big, big deal.

Perhaps this isn't the right time to talk about this.

The dance benefit money was stolen last night.

Without the cash, there will be no dance performance.

I'm gonna need to know who had access to the office.

We all did.

Okay. I'm gonna need you all to ask around on campus.

See if anybody knows anything.

If we open ourself up to the universe, the answers will come.

Perhaps we would be better off dealing with things on this planet, like looking for evidence.

Yes.

How did you afford this place?

Don't worry about it.

Here.

It's taking good care of you.

That's too bad.

Nobody has ever done anything like this for me before.

Has anybody done anything like this for you before?

Damn it. Your color surprises aren't you?

Oh baby, there's so much more to come.

And come.

And come.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

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Mmm.

[music]

♪ I was off by a stop, hit my blood ♪

♪ One body would kill ♪

♪ Caught the hell out of the quirk ♪

♪ That's why I'm giving it to you ♪

♪ And I was home, but you came around ♪

♪ Open my eyes to the truth ♪

♪ It's so good ♪

♪ All of the time I have only been back ♪

♪ All of the time I can't believe the way you make me ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I know you know what I want ♪

♪ I tell you ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ You're a baby ♪

♪ I know you're a baby ♪

♪ I know I'll live without you ♪

♪ I know you're a baby ♪

♪ I'm a baby ♪

♪ I've never thought of you ♪

♪ You're a baby ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ I'm gonna go crazy ♪

♪ I know how I'll live without you ♪

♪ 'Cause you're my perfect thing ♪

♪ Baby, so legit ♪

♪ Baby, never thought I'd quit like a girl ♪

♪ You're my perfect thing ♪

♪ Baby, so good ♪

♪ I know you're a baby ♪

♪ I know you're a baby ♪

♪ Oh, I know you're a baby ♪

♪ Oh, I know you're a baby ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

- Ugh.

- Oh, man.

- This whole place must have cost you a fortune.

I mean, the champagne.

- Don't worry about, baby.

You're worth it.

- I mean, just one night here must cost

as much as my entire tuition.

- I'm gonna take care of it.

What do you mean you're gonna take care of it?

- I mean, I'm gonna pay for your tuition.

I got you covered.

There's no need to exploit your art or your ass anymore.

I got you covered.

Money is not a problem.

- Excuse me?

This is my responsibility and it's my debt.

- But I wanna take care of you.

I don't need taking care of Maxwell.

I've been on my own since I was 15.

I take care of myself.

You need to worry about how you're gonna pay your own way

when your father goes to jail.

- The unsub might have left behind.

Biometrics that can add up to a corpus delay tie.

- Say what now?

- The guy's fingerprints can help us nail him.

You've never watched CSI.

Clearly not as much as you.

- We're gonna need a timeline.

So, so you were taking a chance.

You didn't know what you were looking for.

But you saw the lock box and you couldn't resist.

So now, you're gonna find something

to break open the lock box with.

- Oh, hey, Karen, could this be it?

- James, you're destroying the integrity

of my crime scene.

But looks like the perp cut himself accidentally.

So, you grab the knife off the desk,

broke into the lock box, and what do you know?

It's your lucky day.

- Uh-huh, you've hit the jackpot.

So now, you're gonna look for the quickest way to escape.

She got careless, didn't she?

You left something behind.

- Karen, tits.

- James, this isn't the time.

- No, the International Tantalizing Zone.

Kids, it's a strip club.

- Guys, time to do some undercover work.

- And so, on top of all the code violations,

James Tyler has used the bar as his own personal sex den.

This is Layla Wilkinson for Campus TV.

- We can't show this.

Do you consenting adults having sex?

So what, that's not news?

- No, but if we make it look bad enough,

then maybe we could get the Dean off of our backs.

- And then he shuts down the bar,

and fires James and Aaron for nothing.

- You're forgetting something.

What if it was one of them

that sent the tape of us screwing to the Dean?

- And what if it wasn't?

- So be it.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm just working late,

finishing up a couple of last reports.

- No, I mean, what are you still doing here on campus?

I saw that filthy tape you made.

- Did you, did you send it to the Dean?

- You bet I did.

I had to watch it twice just to make sure

it was as disgusting as I thought.

Hope he kicks you out, you goddamn prevert.

- That he will, but not until I finish this last report.

- Are you sure about this?

- Absolutely.

- If he's in there,

we're gonna need to smoke a mouth.

- How do we know it's a he?

- You're absolutely right, James.

We don't until we get the lab work

back on the blood sample we sent in.

- She's on a roll.

- Okay, so it's amateur night at the strip club,

which means we can get really, really close to the strippers.

Just put a little pressure on them,

see if they know anything.

- I seriously doubt that.

- James, you work the crowd,

see if anyone's dropping big money.

- I'm on it.

- Guys, let's be careful in there.

(dramatic music)

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- Those must have cost a fortune.

- Don.

(dramatic music)

- I'm sorry.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Next one.

- Hey, you must be new here.

- Uh, yeah, I'm up next on stage.

- Cool.

- You having a good night?

- Oh yeah, the best ever.

(dramatic music)

- Dude, what the hell is going on?

Don't even lie to me.

- Let's give it up to our next dancer, Ellen.

(dramatic music)

- What are you doing here?

- I could ask you the same thing.

- You've been coming here instead of class?

- I need the money for class.

- I wanted to help her pay for school.

So she wouldn't have to work anymore.

(dramatic music)

- But you wouldn't let me.

- So that's why you stole the money?

- What money?

- From the bar, Max, the dance benefit money.

- James, I swear to you, I didn't touch it.

- You are wasting your talents here,

being treated like a sex object.

(dramatic music)

- I swear to you.

(dramatic music)

- Okay.

- I'm guessing you don't make that kind of money every night.

- Oh no, this is more than I'm making a week.

- A real steal.

- Hmm, you went in on the action?

- You're gonna cut me in if I help out on the jobs.

- Sure, we'll go 50-50.

- Okay.

- All right, let's go.

- Coming with me.

(dramatic music)

- So how about it, Mr. Wright?

Two for the price of one.

- Nice sweater.

(dramatic music)

- Yeah, whatever.

- Oh, you hurt your finger, I see.

(dramatic music)

- So?

- So, where'd you get this?

(dramatic music)

- I found it.

- Ron, answering Mr. Wright,

Jess, me, call the police, tell me about 10-7,

you want to win a PC, you don't you move.

You might want to bag in fact, though.

You only go in a mass spectral chromatic graph

for trace polymer elements.

(dramatic music)

What?

You never seen CSI?

- Father, I get in married.

I call you when I have papers.

Soon.

Very soon.

- I'm Jerara.

- They're so happy.

- Me too.

- I tell them,

they get married soon.

This is okay?

- Of course.

- Why don't you ask your family to come?

- They could never afford this.

- I'll pay for the tickets.

You want them here with you, right?

It's okay, y'all now, actually.

- Really?

- I want to.

I really want to.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(lively music)

(upbeat music)

(relaxing music)

(lively music)

♪♪

♪♪

(heavy breathing)

Okay.

(breathing heavily)

[Crying]

[Panting]

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I'm Layla Wepesman. Standing outside the new Don Bar, it even attracted one.

It's extremely unlikely patriots. Dean's lowered himself. Quite the sex God.

Call and say goodbye. Goodbye. The Dean fires you? As of one minute past four.

[Panting]

Layla.

[Panting]

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