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1
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,305
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
So late!
2
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,468
Mabel's put a scarf on the cat.
3
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:16,557
He's not a cat.
He's my husband.
4
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,690
Where is he?
5
00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:21,693
- Will he bring the ladies with the big boobies?
- "Ladies"?
6
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,869
Last time, he brushed my hair with a fork.
7
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,263
There were three ladies,
and they had an epic pillow fight.
8
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:28,874
- The fork had maple syrup on it.
- Out of the way, darling.
9
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,484
Well,
10
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:33,168
it's obvious he's not coming,
so I'll just stay home.
11
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,012
You said this was the one thing you had
to leave the house for this year.
12
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,361
You're right. I'm going.
13
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,055
Move, please, Mabes.
14
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:44,194
Fuck-- caccia.
15
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,931
Did we eat the focaccia?
16
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:50,330
Well, we haven't got any vegetables.
17
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:54,813
But lucky you, you get to have
frozen peas. Mmm.
18
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,294
All right. Come to the table.
19
00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:58,991
Come on.
20
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:03,561
One, two...
21
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:06,085
What am I going to do when I get to three?
22
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,088
Please enter alarm code.
23
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,916
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck!
24
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,092
- Please enter alarm code.
- No! Don't put the flames out.
25
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,138
- We can toast marshmallows.
- Please enter alarm code.
26
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,835
Please--
27
00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:27,451
The tension of our bodies,
28
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,805
the scars of--
29
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,639
Hello, Moto.
30
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,204
...in-- in our longing.
31
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,901
Bridget Jones, always exciting.
32
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,426
- How's the skirt?
- Daniel, hi.
33
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,819
Just checking you have indeed
forgotten about tonight.
34
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:48,562
That is hurtful, Jones.
I have absolutely not forgotten.
35
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,173
No.
36
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,305
I'm so sorry. It's my mother.
37
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,307
- She's in the hospital.
- Oh.
38
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:56,614
- Primordial sweat.
- I will be there
39
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:59,225
quicker than it took me to bring
you to earth-shattering orgasm,
40
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,792
you filthy little harlot.
41
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:07,404
Love you, Mummy.
42
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:09,975
"Mummy"?
43
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,629
Darling, clever Geminita.
44
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,240
I'm gonna have to rush.
It's a family emergency.
45
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,242
But I am loving this one.
46
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:18,114
I think-- I think we all are, aren't we?
47
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,851
Call me later, yeah?
48
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,379
Oh, yeah.
49
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,990
I am imminent, Jones. Imminent.
50
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,771
Un-bunch those giant panties.
51
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,177
Bloody zip manufacturers should be
52
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:40,440
cancelled for sociological bias.
53
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:44,140
It is actually impossible
to do this on your own.
54
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,009
Help.
55
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,044
Ooh. Thank you, monkeys.
56
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,586
Uncle Daniel!
57
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,153
Miniature Darcy, what's the news?
58
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,676
Where are the ladies with the big--
59
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,547
Hair?
They couldn't make it, sadly.
60
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,462
They're, um...
They're washing their hair.
61
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:03,985
All three?
62
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,639
Yeah, well, they wash each other's, you see.
63
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,164
I thought you said no more models.
64
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,904
Geminita is not a model, Jones.
65
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,906
She is a poet and a healer,
66
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,169
and a model.
67
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,254
Come here.
68
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:17,303
Hell of a night for you.
69
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:20,306
Ugh, I can't go.
The children need me.
70
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,655
Uncle Daniel!
71
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,483
You. Right.
72
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,964
Get a fork and some syrup.
I'm gonna style you.
73
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:28,575
- I found the cards.
- Very good. Excellent.
74
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:32,663
Now then, we need to work on
your bluffing and your cheating.
75
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:54,032
Life has its white notes...
76
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,387
And life has its black notes.
77
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:06,570
You look very beautiful tonight,
Mrs Darcy.
78
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,831
Not looking so bad yourself,
Mr Darcy.
79
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,633
Bridget.
80
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,635
Very black notes.
81
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:31,508
Jolly good. Come in. Weather's
been a bit shitty, hasn't it?
82
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:32,987
- Though the cricket this year has been...
- Jeremy.
83
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:35,726
...Absolutely phenomenal.
84
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,646
This is what happened.
85
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,170
Mark Darcy, my husband,
86
00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:44,434
father to Billy and Mabel,
87
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,131
died.
88
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,568
Or rather, was killed
89
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:51,916
in the Sudan on a humanitarian mission.
90
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:56,228
- Everybody's just upstairs.
- Thanks.
91
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:59,315
And that was four years ago. Today, actually.
92
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,714
Brace yourself.
It's a total fucking shit show.
93
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:09,415
And even though there might be 600,
000 words in the human language,
94
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,636
the world still struggles
to find the right ones
95
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,508
when someone you love is gone.
96
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,249
Bridget, how are the children?
97
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,598
- Mmm.
- Are they--
98
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,482
Are they all right without you there?
99
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:23,560
No. It's fine.
100
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,603
Left them some crystal meth in the kitchen.
101
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,262
Maybe not.
102
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,395
Well, we don't make a thing about it.
103
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,614
We celebrate Mark's birthday instead.
104
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:35,702
Oh.
105
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:38,052
So, Bridget, still on your own?
106
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,706
It's been four years now.
107
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,230
You're still in pretty
good nick. Why no chap?
108
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:45,408
Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault. Very hard,
being a middle-aged woman
109
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,061
- and finding yourself single.
- Mmm.
110
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:50,543
Better if you're a bloke.
Look at Binko Carruthers.
111
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,153
He's no oil painting,
112
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,287
but the second Rosemary died,
he was inundated.
113
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:59,073
Of course, they were all of a certain
age, though, weren't they?
114
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:01,162
Sorry, do you realise you said that out loud?
115
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:03,687
Hmm?
116
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:06,690
"A certain age"?
What, do you mean our age?
117
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,909
- That is the most...
- Shazzer now hosts
118
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,476
a podcast called Fed Up,
119
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,173
in which she has dinner
with minor celebrities
120
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,785
while basically getting furious
about everything.
121
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,917
...Sexist fucking universe we, unbelievably,
122
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:19,569
still continue to fucking inhabit.
123
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,144
I need to go to the toilet.
124
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,708
Oh.
125
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:29,797
Oh, dear.
126
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,891
Yeah, Jude.
Yeah, I'm with her now.
127
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,546
Well, Shaz, tell her
to come to The Golden Cock.
128
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:40,027
No, no, no. The party.
It's for Mark.
129
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,639
That's not a party.
That's a fucking bin fire.
130
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,293
And you think that Mark would want
you to stay here and be insulted
131
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,818
in the fucking sexism Olympics?
132
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,559
To Mark.
133
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:50,908
- And to Bridget...
- Aw.
134
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,388
...And the rare pleasure of seeing you
135
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,911
in something not made of terry towelling.
136
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,000
Tom, still living
137
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:58,524
handsomely off his one hit single
138
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:02,963
which had a comeback recently in a 30-second
video of a dog doing maths.
139
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,879
Now, of all things, a life coach.
140
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,578
Honestly, I'd say it was
a bit of a breakthrough,
141
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:10,797
speaking as your psychologist.
142
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,451
You're not my psychologist.
143
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:14,235
Well, I should be, yes.
144
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,063
According to the classic model,
145
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:18,370
you've actually made it to the fourth stage
146
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:22,026
- of the five stages of grief.
- Wait. Isn't it seven stages?
147
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,768
What are you talking about, Jude? No,
it isn't. It's five stages.
148
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,857
- Isn't it five?
- Well, I always thought it was four.
149
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,293
It's definitely seven.
150
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,774
Jude, now CEO or COO
151
00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,646
or CTO, definitely a C-something-O,
152
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:37,215
still regularly calling, in tears,
from executive bathroom.
153
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,610
So, um, only one stage to go now, Bridge.
154
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:43,003
- Oh.
- Stage five.
155
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,615
It's acceptance, which basically means
156
00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:48,748
- you just have to get laid.
- Oh, my God. Shazzer's right.
157
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:51,925
Yes. I mean, honestly, darling,
look at yourself.
158
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,058
You've become a born-again virgin.
159
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:57,583
If you don't get laid soon,
your vagina will literally reseal itself.
160
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,629
Yeah, and that is a thing.
161
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:03,067
It's called labial adhesion.
162
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,503
Oh, my God!
163
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,898
I knew leaving the kitchen was a mistake.
164
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,465
I don't want anyone else.
165
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,336
And even if I did, which I don't,
166
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,470
I'm non-viable, completely asexual,
167
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,515
and nobody will ever fancy me again.
168
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,299
- Ever, ever, ever.
- No. No, no, no.
169
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,255
And I'm going to the toilet.
170
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,479
Crash and burn.
That was a disaster.
171
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,871
Well, that was a fucking disaster.
172
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,356
Crikey. Have we been burgled?
173
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,532
We have not been burgled, Jones. No.
174
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:35,882
We have been marvellous.
Now, tell me this.
175
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:40,234
For Tonya, do we think a kitten
heel or a chunky wedge?
176
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,279
She's going to Wimbledon.
177
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,063
Wedge, obviously.
178
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:45,022
You may be right.
179
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,415
How was it? Any fun? Any tongue?
180
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:51,463
Ugh. God. No tongue.
I have hung up my tongue.
181
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,160
How were they?
182
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,988
Well, the girl is you.
183
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:59,210
Lawless, romantic, irresistibly drawn to me.
184
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,038
Asked me if I was going to be her new daddy.
185
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,866
She does that.
186
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,173
Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed
until I'd married her rabbit.
187
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,524
- Hmm.
- Which I was very happy to do.
188
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,482
That rabbit is not at all unfanciable.
189
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,136
Hmm.
And Billy?
190
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,399
Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he?
191
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:17,054
Still waters and all that.
192
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,273
As it happens, Jones, your son
193
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,624
and I have a number of shared interests.
194
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,974
Oh, God. Like what?
195
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,366
Models.
196
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,368
He showed me his,
I showed him mine.
197
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:30,110
- Hmm.
- And then we-- We talked about death.
198
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,547
Did you?
199
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,374
Yeah.
I told him being dead was shit.
200
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,812
And that I should know
because I was for a bit.
201
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,422
And then, uh...
202
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:40,381
I gave him a hug cause he seemed a bit sad.
203
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:43,167
And then that made me sad because...
204
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,734
How is your boy?
205
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,779
Enzo's, what? He's...
206
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,129
Uh, fuck knows, Jones.
Fifteen, I think.
207
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:53,873
Anyway, we then cheered ourselves up
by digging out the cocktail shaker,
208
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,875
and I taught him how to make a Dirty Bitch.
209
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,442
Saved it for you.
It's in the fridge.
210
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,749
Goody. Have it for breakfast.
211
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,925
Yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello.
212
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,491
Geminita.
213
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,825
Yeah, we're all done. All done.
I'm on my way.
214
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,801
Well, as quick as I can.
215
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:12,500
Yes, like naughty old moth
to eager young flame.
216
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,152
No, you hang up first.
217
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,941
And-- OK, kiss you back.
218
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,771
Yeah, OK. Louder.
Yeah.
219
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,599
Oh, my God.
220
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,169
Fuck off, Jones.
OK, they're asleep.
221
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,519
Um...
...it did take a bit of time.
222
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,652
But I-- Actually I showed them
a video of Geminita
223
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,481
reciting one of her prose poems
and they were out like a light.
224
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,308
All right.
225
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:44,881
What happens now?
226
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,815
I'm trying to remember how it
worked with our babysitters.
227
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:51,583
I think you give me 20 quid
and try and shag me, don't you?
228
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:54,804
Ah, Daniel, dear Daniel.
229
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,633
At least some things never change.
230
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,897
It makes me sad though, Jones.
You know...
231
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:06,032
Two children and you all alone
and effectively a nun.
232
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:09,293
Albeit, of course, a very, very naughty nun.
233
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:15,868
Bye, Daniel.
234
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:16,953
Yeah.
235
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,437
Thanks for tonight.
236
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:20,652
Yeah.
237
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,272
Why are these lights still on?
238
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,358
I thought you two were asleep.
239
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,843
Do you miss Dada sometimes?
240
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,106
I miss him all of the times.
241
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,722
There's my owl.
242
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,637
Back to bed. Come on.
243
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,941
- Story, Mama?
- Mm-hmm.
244
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:59,172
For the baby princess is
as kind as she is fair.
245
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:06,005
And the baby prince is as gentle
as he is handsome.
246
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:10,314
And wherever they go and whatever they do,
247
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:13,883
Mummy and Daddy will always love them.
248
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:18,409
And Saliva.
249
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:21,629
She stinks, Mabes.
250
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,762
Oh!
251
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,672
- Good night, darling.
- Good night, Mama.
252
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,558
Good night.
253
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,328
And all the thoughts...
254
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:50,746
And all the thoughts are going away.
255
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:55,098
They don't need little Billy
and Mabel tonight.
256
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:58,405
The world will turn without them.
257
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:01,539
The stars will shine without them.
258
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:07,934
And all little Billy and Mabel
need to do is rest and sleep.
259
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:10,893
Good night.
260
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:12,852
Night.
261
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,513
Good night, Billy.
262
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:22,386
- Do the song, Daddy. Please.
- OK.
263
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:27,478
♪ I'll do anything
For you, dear ♪
264
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,219
♪ Anything ♪
265
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:34,224
♪ For you mean everything
To me ♪
266
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:42,011
All by myself 47.
267
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,449
Shitballs.
268
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:51,586
No. Cock-bollocking fuck-bubbles!
269
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,725
Literally everyone else in the whole country
270
00:14:57,809 --> 00:15:00,032
is laughing uproariously with their partners
271
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,948
while watching Netflix and having sex.
272
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,385
You don't want to wallow in it, darling.
273
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,735
And there they are again.
274
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:10,869
All the voices, all the advice.
275
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,958
You gotta wallow in it, Bridge.
Wallow.
276
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:16,962
Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E.
277
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:20,487
It's I-E. It's not E-I.
278
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:24,100
No, it's, "I before E except after C."
279
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,623
Yes, exactly.
280
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:28,800
God, you really are such a T-W-T-A.
281
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,410
A what?
282
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:32,294
The thing about advice is,
283
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:36,068
no one tells you the same thing twice.
284
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,289
Bridget, you've got
to put the children first.
285
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:42,901
Uh-huh. Thank you,
Magda. Yes.
286
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,686
Put the children first.
287
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:46,992
Sod the children.
288
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,952
Put your own oxygen mask on first.
289
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,868
Right. Oxygen mask.
290
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,217
Got it.
291
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,132
One thing's for certain, Bridge.
292
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,612
Forget about sex.
Oh.
293
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,266
OK.
294
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,138
No sex.
295
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:04,227
You need to have a lot of sex.
296
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,404
Yeah. Why don't you come back to work?
297
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:11,448
Thank you, Richard.
I'll bear that in mind.
298
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:27,119
But as my dad said just before he died,
299
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:30,035
the big question is...
300
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,991
Can you survive?
301
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,038
I think so.
302
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,432
I have to.
303
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,652
I'm trying.
304
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:47,484
It's not enough to survive.
You've got to live.
305
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,010
Is that the Dalai Lama?
306
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:53,929
It's Harry Styles, I think.
307
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,365
Colin.
308
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:58,020
- Is that a sausage?
- What sausage?
309
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:01,762
Bridget, you know what the doctor
said about saturated fats.
310
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:05,937
Pam, could you take a photograph
of us? Me and Bridget.
311
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,594
Um...
312
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:15,341
Colin, try not to do that with your chin.
313
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,175
I'm not doing anything with my chin.
314
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,043
Promise me you'll live, Bridget.
315
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,742
Smile!
316
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:31,849
Bridget Jones, it's time to live.
317
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:36,202
♪ I know when to go out ♪
318
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:38,856
♪ Know when to stay in ♪
319
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,468
♪ Get things done ♪
320
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,999
♪ I catch a paper boy ♪
321
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:51,046
♪ But things
Don't really change ♪
322
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,352
♪ I'm standing in the wind ♪
323
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:56,091
♪ But I never wave bye-bye ♪
324
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,096
♪ But I try ♪
325
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,707
♪ I try ♪
326
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:08,585
♪ Never gonna fall for ♪
327
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:09,673
♪ Modern love ♪
328
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,327
♪ Walks beside me ♪
329
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,458
♪ Modern love ♪
330
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:13,764
♪ Walks on by ♪
331
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,026
♪ Modern love ♪
332
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,114
♪ Gets me to ♪
333
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,161
♪ The church on time ♪
334
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,510
♪ Church on time ♪
335
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,946
♪ Terrifies me ♪
336
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,078
♪ Church on time ♪
337
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,383
♪ Makes me party ♪
338
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,906
♪ Church on time ♪
339
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:29,606
♪ Puts my trust in God and man ♪
340
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,781
♪ God and man ♪
341
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,217
♪ No confession ♪
342
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:33,566
♪ God and man ♪
343
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:34,828
♪ No religion ♪
344
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,352
♪ God and man ♪
345
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:40,004
♪ Don't believe in modern love ♪
346
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:18,263
♪ It's not really work ♪
347
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,396
♪ It's just the power to charm ♪
348
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,181
♪ I'm still standing in
The wind ♪
349
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:26,225
♪ But I never wave bye-bye ♪
350
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:30,968
♪ But I try ♪
351
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,623
♪ I try ♪
352
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:37,674
♪ Never gonna fall for ♪
353
00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,154
♪ Modern love ♪
354
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,503
♪ Walks beside me ♪
355
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,765
♪ Modern love ♪
356
00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:42,940
♪ Walks on by ♪
357
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,071
♪ Modern love ♪
358
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:46,248
♪ Gets me to the church ♪
359
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,901
♪ On time ♪
360
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,425
♪ Modern love... ♪
361
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:51,166
Right.
You've got your pencil case,
362
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,993
your lunch, your homework?
363
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,604
- Your keys?
- Ooh.
364
00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:56,693
Well,
365
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:59,478
you've definitely got your
recorder so that's good.
366
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:01,959
Your lovely picture of a spaceship.
367
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,001
It's a cat.
368
00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:06,877
Oh, yes.
Of course it is, darling.
369
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,357
What paints did you use?
370
00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:11,229
I used the lipsticks with the C's on them.
371
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,883
- Oh. So creative.
- Handbag?
372
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,667
Oh, fuck a duck.
373
00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:16,016
Hello, Billy.
374
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,192
Morning.
375
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,845
Hello, Mabel.
376
00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:19,933
Morning, Bridget.
377
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,021
Hi.
378
00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:22,588
Just the usual crap.
379
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:25,284
Are you going to be my new daddy?
380
00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:29,116
- No, Mum!
- No! Mum!
381
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,466
When I signed up for having children,
382
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:31,945
I did not sign up to be ruled by
383
00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:33,860
a gaggle of computer crackheads.
384
00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:35,253
Well, guess what?
385
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,560
I've had you,
I've brought you up,
386
00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:39,779
and I've changed my mind!
387
00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:43,522
No!
No, no, no!
388
00:21:43,606 --> 00:21:46,438
Don't you touch those or I'll fucking
enter you in Squid Game.
389
00:21:46,522 --> 00:21:47,526
Here, darling.
390
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,224
- Come, come.
- Mum!
391
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,051
Why don't we ever say hello?
392
00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:53,837
Oh.
Important life lesson, darling.
393
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:55,966
Never meet your heroes.
394
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:03,716
Starting today, will not set things on fire,
395
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,851
will responsibly reset passwords not
to include the word "fuckwit,"
396
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:11,507
and will not be frightened
of the school mums...
397
00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:13,073
Hi.
398
00:22:13,157 --> 00:22:16,729
...In particular,
Perfect Nicolette...
399
00:22:18,293 --> 00:22:20,559
...with her perfect twins.
400
00:22:22,558 --> 00:22:25,390
Move the car! There's no parking
in front of the school.
401
00:22:25,474 --> 00:22:27,087
- How are you?
- What?
402
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:29,394
I-I thought you were in LA.
403
00:22:29,478 --> 00:22:32,702
- Right.
- Mr Walliker?
404
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:35,705
Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't been
selected for the choir for some reason.
405
00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:37,663
- Correct.
- Well, how can that be?
406
00:22:37,747 --> 00:22:40,013
Because he can't sing. Anything else,
Mrs Soltani-Watkins?
407
00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:43,147
Mr Walliker, if you have failed to
recognise Eros's obvious talents,
408
00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:44,931
- that's hardly his fault.
- It's really quite simple.
409
00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:47,804
The choir, like everything else
in nature, is chosen on merit.
410
00:22:47,888 --> 00:22:49,936
Yeah, natural selection.
411
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,374
If Eros wants to put in the work,
he's welcome to audition again.
412
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,376
If you'll excuse me.
Bike!
413
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:56,160
Bike! Not there. Not there.
414
00:22:56,244 --> 00:22:57,683
Who's that?
415
00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:59,946
Oh. New science teacher.
Mr Walliker.
416
00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:01,180
Instant hero.
417
00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:02,906
Unbelievably rude.
418
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:04,255
He's awful.
419
00:23:04,339 --> 00:23:06,733
Move along, please. Right away!
420
00:23:08,212 --> 00:23:10,957
You two! This isn't a stroll on the heath.
421
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:14,831
You don't see me unfolding deck chairs
and unwrapping sandwiches, do you?
422
00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:17,703
Move it inside!
It's choir in eight minutes.
423
00:23:17,787 --> 00:23:20,184
Mr Walliker. Hello.
424
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:21,751
I don't believe we've met.
425
00:23:21,835 --> 00:23:23,187
I'm Billy Darcy's mum.
426
00:23:23,271 --> 00:23:25,755
The boy about to be diagnosed with tinnitus.
427
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:28,061
The whistle is an essential tool, Mrs Darcy.
428
00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:30,368
Mmm. An essential tool?
429
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,846
What an apt description.
430
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,809
Eros! Atticus!
431
00:23:36,893 --> 00:23:39,682
If you're late, you will regret
it for the rest of your days.
432
00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:41,566
Sorry, sir!
433
00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:48,905
No!
434
00:23:49,993 --> 00:23:51,346
She'll be back later.
435
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,825
We have a doctor's appointment.
436
00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:54,389
I've got worms!
437
00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:57,653
Why is your granny wearing pyjamas?
438
00:23:59,525 --> 00:24:01,309
That went well.
439
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:06,186
"G-O-N-O" --
440
00:24:06,270 --> 00:24:07,927
That's lovely, darling.
441
00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:09,581
- "R-H"...
- There you go.
442
00:24:09,665 --> 00:24:11,627
One tablet a day for the entire family,
443
00:24:11,711 --> 00:24:14,847
and if her itching doesn't stop,
I suggest you get rid of that cat.
444
00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:17,110
Have you got some help yet?
445
00:24:17,194 --> 00:24:19,199
I know it doesn't look it, but really,
446
00:24:19,283 --> 00:24:21,767
- I've got it all in hand.
- No, it doesn't look it.
447
00:24:21,851 --> 00:24:24,901
Apart from anything else,
I'm a gynaecologist, not a paediatrician.
448
00:24:24,985 --> 00:24:28,687
And whilst I'm happy to step in,
you do take my point.
449
00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:32,125
If you say "oxygen mask" to me again,
I will hit you with this handbag.
450
00:24:32,209 --> 00:24:33,692
I am not afraid of handbags.
451
00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:35,825
You need something else to do.
452
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:38,218
You need a reason
to get out of those pyjamas.
453
00:24:38,302 --> 00:24:40,307
Well, fashion's never really been your thing.
454
00:24:40,391 --> 00:24:42,440
- Rude.
- Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan.
455
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:45,791
Bridget, in spite of all objective
evidence to the contrary,
456
00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,793
you are a bright, talented, brilliant woman.
457
00:24:47,877 --> 00:24:50,187
And my professional advice to you is this.
458
00:24:50,271 --> 00:24:51,621
- You need--
- No. No, no, no.
459
00:24:51,664 --> 00:24:53,146
Please don't tell me to go and have sex.
460
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:54,539
Oh, good Lord, no.
461
00:24:54,623 --> 00:24:56,585
No.
462
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:59,152
Read a book.
Clean out the kitchen drawers.
463
00:24:59,236 --> 00:25:01,328
Leave the pink bits well enough alone.
464
00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:02,678
You'll be ready when you're ready.
465
00:25:02,762 --> 00:25:05,550
No, my professional advice to you is this:
466
00:25:05,634 --> 00:25:08,031
go back to work.
467
00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:09,551
And how's your love life?
468
00:25:10,378 --> 00:25:12,078
On fire.
469
00:25:12,162 --> 00:25:15,644
"Sy-P-Lis."
470
00:25:18,691 --> 00:25:22,175
- Mmm.
- Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis.
471
00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:23,263
Syphilis.
472
00:25:23,347 --> 00:25:25,831
Mmm. Very good. Very good.
473
00:25:25,915 --> 00:25:28,921
And there's some delicious vegetarian
alternatives here too.
474
00:25:30,659 --> 00:25:33,360
Floods, fires and famine.
475
00:25:33,444 --> 00:25:36,363
As the world teeters on the
edge of climate catastrophe,
476
00:25:36,447 --> 00:25:39,105
sausages aren't the only thing
we are grilling today.
477
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:43,109
Environment Secretary Sarah Givens
joins us after the break.
478
00:25:47,197 --> 00:25:48,463
Hi.
479
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:49,638
Oh, thank God you picked up.
480
00:25:49,722 --> 00:25:51,770
What's the matter?
481
00:25:51,854 --> 00:25:54,120
They've got the bloody Environment
Secretary on in 45 seconds
482
00:25:54,204 --> 00:25:57,036
and they've got me asking her questions
about bloody tea bags.
483
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,220
"What's the best way to recycle tea bags?"
484
00:25:59,296 --> 00:26:01,127
"Can you clean surfaces with tea"...
485
00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:02,215
I need you, Bridget!
486
00:26:02,299 --> 00:26:04,043
OK. Uh...
487
00:26:04,127 --> 00:26:06,045
Ask her...
488
00:26:06,129 --> 00:26:08,352
Ask her why there were no tax
breaks for renewable energy
489
00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,093
- in last week's budget.
- Brilliant.
490
00:26:10,177 --> 00:26:12,878
She'll fob you off with some
crap about economic constraints
491
00:26:12,962 --> 00:26:16,926
and then you nail her on oil and gas
companies ring-fencing their profits.
492
00:26:17,010 --> 00:26:19,450
- Yes, I do.
- She'll flap!
493
00:26:19,534 --> 00:26:23,019
And then you nuke her arse on the
government's support for fracking.
494
00:26:23,103 --> 00:26:24,455
Ooh.
495
00:26:24,539 --> 00:26:26,196
I fracking love you,
Bridget Jones.
496
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,980
- Hi, Bridge.
- Yes!
497
00:26:28,064 --> 00:26:31,723
Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out
about the tea bags though.
498
00:26:31,807 --> 00:26:34,007
- Love you. Bye. Bye.
- Love you. Bye!
499
00:26:35,898 --> 00:26:37,120
Welcome back.
500
00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:38,643
Our next guest is
501
00:26:38,727 --> 00:26:40,819
Environment Secretary
Sarah Givens.
502
00:26:40,903 --> 00:26:45,650
Sarah, budget, tax breaks, fracking.
503
00:26:45,734 --> 00:26:47,565
Justify.
504
00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:49,042
And no fob-off!
505
00:26:52,349 --> 00:26:55,617
Could you please put me through
to Richard Finch's office?
506
00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:57,616
My name's Bridget Jones.
507
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:01,097
Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks.
508
00:27:17,244 --> 00:27:19,463
Billy,
I want to watch SpongeBob.
509
00:27:20,769 --> 00:27:22,252
Billy, come off that, please.
510
00:27:22,336 --> 00:27:23,736
You've had your screen time.
511
00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:26,473
One, two...
512
00:27:26,557 --> 00:27:27,997
But, Mummy, it's Sunday.
513
00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:29,041
No.
514
00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:30,225
Can I watch SpongeBob?
515
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,828
May I watch SpongeBob.
516
00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:34,351
Yes?
517
00:27:34,435 --> 00:27:36,440
No, you've got to say, "may I," not "can I."
518
00:27:36,524 --> 00:27:37,746
May I watch SpongeBob?
519
00:27:37,830 --> 00:27:40,096
- No.
- But, Mummy!
520
00:27:40,180 --> 00:27:42,011
No, no, no, no.
521
00:27:42,095 --> 00:27:44,622
No more screens, either of you.
522
00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:47,103
Screens have been proven to shorten
attention spans and...
523
00:27:47,187 --> 00:27:48,757
Ooh!
524
00:27:48,841 --> 00:27:50,541
No.
525
00:27:50,625 --> 00:27:52,761
Will you come and practise
cricket with me in the garden?
526
00:27:52,845 --> 00:27:55,198
Mummy really needs to work, darling.
Why don't you play with Mabel?
527
00:27:55,282 --> 00:27:58,114
She refuses to hit the ball.
She says she feels sorry for Ball-y.
528
00:27:58,198 --> 00:27:59,855
Ball-y.
529
00:27:59,939 --> 00:28:01,465
Darling, please go and play
cricket with Billy.
530
00:28:01,549 --> 00:28:03,594
I may not!
531
00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:15,479
Is it too much to ask to get some
bloody peace all by my bloody self
532
00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:17,437
for five bloody minutes?
533
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,222
Internet's down!
534
00:28:19,306 --> 00:28:20,963
I want to watch SpongeBob.
535
00:28:21,047 --> 00:28:23,052
Tell Billy it's my turn.
536
00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:26,882
- Mummy!
- I don't want to be a mummy right now.
537
00:28:26,966 --> 00:28:28,535
You had it for ages!
538
00:28:28,619 --> 00:28:31,190
I didn't even have it today. It's my turn!
539
00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:32,583
Mummy!
540
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:34,106
There's no Internet!
541
00:28:34,190 --> 00:28:36,805
I just want to sit down
542
00:28:36,889 --> 00:28:41,461
in echoing silence on my own for one moment.
543
00:28:41,545 --> 00:28:44,029
- Mummy! Mummy!
- Just shut up!
544
00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:55,824
Shark bait!
545
00:28:55,908 --> 00:28:57,173
Come and get it!
546
00:28:58,824 --> 00:29:00,219
Okay. You asked for it!
547
00:29:00,303 --> 00:29:01,612
Miranda?
548
00:29:01,696 --> 00:29:03,005
All right, Bridge?
549
00:29:03,089 --> 00:29:05,311
What're you doing here?
550
00:29:05,395 --> 00:29:08,445
So I was reading the newspaper in Soho House
551
00:29:08,529 --> 00:29:12,623
and it was so, so quiet, you know?
552
00:29:12,707 --> 00:29:15,191
I just miss all this.
553
00:29:15,275 --> 00:29:20,892
Off milk, stuff, clutter, children, life.
554
00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:22,459
Plenty of that here.
555
00:29:22,543 --> 00:29:23,993
You don't have any champagne.
556
00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:25,636
Top tip:
557
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,987
always keep a cold bottle of champagne
558
00:29:29,071 --> 00:29:30,899
in the fridge for emergencies.
559
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:33,731
That's excellent advice.
560
00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,124
Cards on the table,
561
00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:38,562
I'm thinking of unfreezing my eggs.
562
00:29:38,646 --> 00:29:41,565
Apparently, everyone is going to Denmark
563
00:29:41,649 --> 00:29:42,871
to get sperm.
564
00:29:42,955 --> 00:29:44,350
- Oh.
- Yeah.
565
00:29:44,434 --> 00:29:47,527
But I want what you have.
All of this.
566
00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:51,793
But Soho House and-and Sunday
papers and cold champagne--
567
00:29:51,877 --> 00:29:53,272
You're free, Bridge.
568
00:29:53,356 --> 00:29:56,449
You're liberated from the tyranny of this.
569
00:29:56,533 --> 00:29:59,714
Do you know how many dating apps I use?
570
00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,063
Could you look sexy?
571
00:30:01,147 --> 00:30:02,717
Well, I mean...
572
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:06,155
I might still brush up OK given enough time.
573
00:30:06,239 --> 00:30:07,286
No, I mean for this photo.
574
00:30:08,545 --> 00:30:09,845
I've set you up on Tinder.
575
00:30:09,851 --> 00:30:11,769
- What?
- You're welcome.
576
00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:14,032
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- Well, I've popped you down as a widow.
577
00:30:14,116 --> 00:30:16,078
It's so much more romantic and singular.
578
00:30:16,162 --> 00:30:18,950
We all agree it's what you need.
579
00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:21,344
What's Tinder?
580
00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:22,737
It's...
581
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:25,740
Such a lovely day.
582
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,482
Who wants to, um, go to the heath?
583
00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,746
- No, I don't wanna go!
- No, SpongeBob!
584
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,139
Oh, OK. That's no problem.
585
00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:35,575
Uh, sure.
586
00:30:35,659 --> 00:30:37,316
Um, you stay here,
587
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:42,931
and I'll just, uh, take these
chocolate buttons. Ooh!
588
00:30:43,015 --> 00:30:46,238
- Let's go, nutters!
- Can't wait!
589
00:30:46,322 --> 00:30:48,822
Children and fresh air
and white chocolate buttons.
590
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:51,243
I feel like Julie Andrews!
591
00:30:51,327 --> 00:30:53,077
Oh! I just got matched with someone.
592
00:30:53,155 --> 00:30:54,681
Sorry, Mabel, could you just
get off, actually,
593
00:30:54,765 --> 00:30:56,265
cause you're killing my back.
594
00:30:56,289 --> 00:30:59,988
Uh, he's on a street corner...
In a van.
595
00:31:02,512 --> 00:31:04,996
- He looks like Jason Statham...
- Mmm.
596
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:06,650
...If you squint.
597
00:31:06,734 --> 00:31:08,173
In a bit, Bridge.
598
00:31:08,257 --> 00:31:09,566
Bye, kids. See you.
599
00:31:09,650 --> 00:31:11,260
- Bye!
- Bye.
600
00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:21,360
Oh, how everything calms down once
you're outside in blue skies
601
00:31:21,444 --> 00:31:24,929
turning the children into biddable lemurs.
602
00:31:25,013 --> 00:31:29,020
Will obviously delete Tinder immediately.
603
00:31:29,104 --> 00:31:31,367
But perhaps a very quick look first.
604
00:31:37,286 --> 00:31:38,287
Keith?
605
00:31:39,332 --> 00:31:41,160
Who are you, Keith?
606
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:47,909
Feel suddenly exposed to whole
new world hiding in plain sight
607
00:31:47,993 --> 00:31:49,867
like Narnia through back of wardrobe,
608
00:31:49,951 --> 00:31:52,696
but with lion and witch shagging.
609
00:31:52,780 --> 00:31:55,525
Mummy!
Mabel's stuck up the tree!
610
00:31:55,609 --> 00:31:57,657
- How'd she get up there?
- Mummy!
611
00:31:57,741 --> 00:31:58,786
Coming!
612
00:32:03,443 --> 00:32:04,403
Okay.
613
00:32:04,487 --> 00:32:06,666
No, it's... it's all right.
614
00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:09,710
- I can't get down either.
- It's all right. I'm here.
615
00:32:11,059 --> 00:32:12,020
Uh.
616
00:32:12,104 --> 00:32:13,978
Billy. Is that you?
617
00:32:14,062 --> 00:32:16,154
Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker.
618
00:32:16,238 --> 00:32:18,113
Everything all right, Mrs Darcy?
619
00:32:18,197 --> 00:32:20,898
Yep. Super.
620
00:32:20,982 --> 00:32:22,682
Just climbing a tree.
621
00:32:22,766 --> 00:32:24,380
I can see that.
622
00:32:24,464 --> 00:32:25,511
Having fun?
623
00:32:25,595 --> 00:32:27,687
Yes. Yeah, this is really fun.
624
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,649
- You sure you don't need a hand?
- No, no.
625
00:32:32,733 --> 00:32:34,477
As Einstein said,
626
00:32:34,561 --> 00:32:37,697
"What goes up must come down."
627
00:32:37,781 --> 00:32:39,482
- Newton.
- Yes.
628
00:32:39,566 --> 00:32:41,571
Newton.
629
00:32:41,655 --> 00:32:43,138
We're going to die!
630
00:32:43,222 --> 00:32:45,792
No, we're not going to die.
We're having fun.
631
00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:47,969
We are definitely going to die.
632
00:32:48,053 --> 00:32:50,446
Clearly you've got this nicely in hand.
633
00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:53,319
Look, there's a policeman.
634
00:32:56,844 --> 00:32:58,370
Oh, my God.
635
00:32:58,454 --> 00:33:00,543
I've climbed a magical man tree.
636
00:33:01,718 --> 00:33:02,766
- Are you stuck?
- Yes!
637
00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:04,724
No.
638
00:33:04,808 --> 00:33:06,985
- Do they need help?
- Apparently not.
639
00:33:08,812 --> 00:33:10,945
So, I'll... I'll be off then.
640
00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:12,555
Bye-bye.
641
00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:17,912
Okay. I'll be off too.
642
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:20,088
Don't go away.
643
00:33:20,172 --> 00:33:22,351
No, seriously.
Don't go away.
644
00:33:22,435 --> 00:33:24,785
Hang on. I'm coming.
645
00:33:25,829 --> 00:33:27,008
Okay. Coming up.
646
00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:30,794
Uh...
647
00:33:30,878 --> 00:33:32,665
Hello.
648
00:33:32,749 --> 00:33:34,549
Okay, just... Hang on.
649
00:33:39,756 --> 00:33:40,673
Hello.
650
00:33:40,757 --> 00:33:41,805
Hi, mate.
651
00:33:41,889 --> 00:33:43,339
- Hi, what's your name?
- Mabel.
652
00:33:43,412 --> 00:33:45,417
- Mabel.
- I can't jump down.
653
00:33:46,676 --> 00:33:48,855
Okay. Well, you sit down there.
654
00:33:48,939 --> 00:33:51,939
You get comfy, and I'm gonna go
down there and catch you, OK?
655
00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:54,905
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah.
656
00:33:54,989 --> 00:33:56,907
Three, two, one, go!
657
00:33:56,991 --> 00:33:59,841
- I did it!
- I've got you. Well done.
658
00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:01,520
All right, big man. Your turn.
659
00:34:01,604 --> 00:34:04,349
Okay. You got this, mate.
There we go.
660
00:34:04,433 --> 00:34:05,785
- Next foot.
- That's it, darling.
661
00:34:05,869 --> 00:34:07,962
And I've got you.
662
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,615
Okay, Mum.
663
00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:11,095
Okay.
664
00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:12,329
There we go.
665
00:34:12,398 --> 00:34:13,706
- Okay.
- Okay.
666
00:34:16,097 --> 00:34:17,707
- You all right?
- Yes.
667
00:34:18,665 --> 00:34:20,058
Yes.
668
00:34:20,971 --> 00:34:22,103
Okay.
669
00:34:23,278 --> 00:34:24,105
Thank you.
670
00:34:26,238 --> 00:34:27,546
Thank you.
671
00:34:27,630 --> 00:34:28,501
It's all right.
672
00:34:30,242 --> 00:34:32,896
Uh, I'm Roxby.
But you can call me Roxster.
673
00:34:33,984 --> 00:34:35,032
Bridget Jones.
674
00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:36,729
But you can call her Mummy.
675
00:34:36,813 --> 00:34:38,989
Hmm. Okay.
676
00:34:39,686 --> 00:34:40,687
Oh.
677
00:34:42,471 --> 00:34:43,571
I think this is yours.
678
00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:47,128
Thanks.
679
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:50,613
Anything else I can help with?
680
00:34:50,697 --> 00:34:51,831
God, yes.
681
00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:52,960
No.
682
00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:55,400
Okay.
683
00:34:55,484 --> 00:34:57,704
It's nice to meet you, Roxy.
684
00:34:58,487 --> 00:34:59,532
It's Roxster.
685
00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:04,580
You too, Bridget Jones.
686
00:35:10,978 --> 00:35:13,766
Now obsessed with tree-rescuing Adonis
687
00:35:13,850 --> 00:35:18,162
and reentering world of flirting
simultaneously with workforce.
688
00:35:18,246 --> 00:35:21,078
- Mrs Darcy.
- Mr Walliker.
689
00:35:21,162 --> 00:35:24,864
Weapon at the ready, I see.
690
00:35:24,948 --> 00:35:28,216
Good to see you managed to extricate
yourself from that tree.
691
00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:30,653
Oh, yes. It's the children's favourite game.
692
00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:34,831
We're completely obsessed
with the outdoors in our house.
693
00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:37,877
Well, I'll have to put you down for
our Outward Bound trip next term.
694
00:35:37,961 --> 00:35:39,488
Sounds like it'd be right up your street.
695
00:35:39,572 --> 00:35:40,924
Fucking fuck.
696
00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:43,187
Yeah. Good.
697
00:35:43,271 --> 00:35:45,926
Do you have my slime?
I promised I'd show Cosmata.
698
00:35:47,884 --> 00:35:49,103
Oh.
699
00:35:51,801 --> 00:35:52,805
Hey, those are mine.
700
00:35:52,889 --> 00:35:54,326
Give them to me.
701
00:35:56,763 --> 00:35:59,769
They are actually hers.
702
00:35:59,853 --> 00:36:01,115
Well, in that case...
703
00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:07,298
Bridget!
704
00:36:07,382 --> 00:36:09,036
You're dressed properly.
705
00:36:09,732 --> 00:36:11,085
Odd.
706
00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,043
Heading to a meeting.
707
00:36:13,127 --> 00:36:15,350
Thinking about going back to my old job.
708
00:36:15,434 --> 00:36:18,483
Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down
for Jobs Day then.
709
00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:20,355
Fucking fuckety fuck fuck.
710
00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,661
Yes, absolutely.
711
00:36:22,745 --> 00:36:25,577
Celestine, merci. C'est gentil.
712
00:36:25,661 --> 00:36:27,927
Actually, do you mind
tidying this up a little bit?
713
00:36:28,011 --> 00:36:29,538
Sure.
714
00:36:29,622 --> 00:36:31,322
Uh, what about the children?
Do you have a nanny?
715
00:36:31,406 --> 00:36:32,758
Not yet.
716
00:36:32,842 --> 00:36:35,326
Oh, I've got the perfect person.
She's excellent.
717
00:36:35,410 --> 00:36:37,415
She's very pretty, but that
doesn't matter, Bridget,
718
00:36:37,499 --> 00:36:39,678
because you don't have a husband,
719
00:36:39,762 --> 00:36:42,464
so it's absolutely immaterial
how pretty and perfect she is.
720
00:36:42,548 --> 00:36:44,683
- Sounds good.
- There we go.
721
00:36:44,767 --> 00:36:46,859
- Francesca.
- Sorry.
722
00:36:46,943 --> 00:36:48,296
Wonderful.
723
00:36:48,380 --> 00:36:50,515
It's nothing.
I just threw it together.
724
00:36:50,599 --> 00:36:51,777
Ah.
725
00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:53,863
Bridget? Your donation?
726
00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:55,868
You didn't forget?
727
00:36:55,952 --> 00:36:58,654
No.
728
00:36:58,738 --> 00:37:01,570
Certainly not.
729
00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:04,529
Uh, let's see.
730
00:37:04,613 --> 00:37:05,832
Here we are.
731
00:37:07,529 --> 00:37:09,055
Hummus.
732
00:37:09,139 --> 00:37:10,619
And, uh...
733
00:37:16,103 --> 00:37:18,326
Rice cakes.
734
00:37:18,410 --> 00:37:22,156
And look, they've even been opened already.
735
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,637
Lovely.
736
00:37:25,721 --> 00:37:29,250
Ah. Her name's Chloe,
and she'll be with you at 6:30.
737
00:37:30,378 --> 00:37:31,861
Raef! India! Get inside.
738
00:37:31,945 --> 00:37:33,468
That's enough chatting.
739
00:37:35,470 --> 00:37:36,732
Bridget Jones.
740
00:37:37,603 --> 00:37:38,691
Thank you.
741
00:38:10,549 --> 00:38:11,727
Four.
742
00:38:11,811 --> 00:38:12,768
Four.
743
00:38:27,174 --> 00:38:30,267
- Three.
- Three.
744
00:38:30,351 --> 00:38:32,310
Thank you.
745
00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:36,099
This is Bridget Jones about to
746
00:38:36,183 --> 00:38:39,621
go into an actual in-person meeting.
747
00:38:41,667 --> 00:38:43,976
- Brenda Jones?
- Oh, actually, it's--
748
00:38:44,060 --> 00:38:46,936
Bridget Jones, there you are.
Excellent. Quick, come with me.
749
00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:48,935
- Thank you, Lizzie.
- Thanks.
750
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:52,330
Good to see ya.
How have you been?
751
00:38:53,722 --> 00:38:55,336
You look hot.
752
00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:57,773
Oh. Thank you, Richard.
753
00:38:57,857 --> 00:39:01,080
But I think you'll find that sort
of language is a little outmoded
754
00:39:01,164 --> 00:39:03,257
- in the workplace.
- No, I mean flustered.
755
00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:05,291
Are you going through the, uh, you know?
756
00:39:07,606 --> 00:39:10,699
Bridget, let me introduce you to Talitha.
757
00:39:10,783 --> 00:39:14,268
Richard, what am I
supposed to do with this, huh?
758
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,139
Does it climb?
Does it stand on one leg?
759
00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:18,794
Does it do cartwheels? It's a tortoise.
It doesn't do anything.
760
00:39:18,878 --> 00:39:21,100
He can't pull out. Who the
fuck does he think he is?
761
00:39:21,184 --> 00:39:23,320
Arrogant, self-important prick.
762
00:39:23,404 --> 00:39:26,541
Tell that selfish arsehole
he can rot in hell.
763
00:39:26,625 --> 00:39:28,412
The Dalai Lama's cancelled.
764
00:39:28,496 --> 00:39:30,371
Twat. Shit.
765
00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:33,504
Okay, we've got an hour till we're on air.
766
00:39:33,588 --> 00:39:35,245
We need a replacement.
Let me make a call.
767
00:39:35,329 --> 00:39:36,768
I do Krav Maga with Fergie.
768
00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,292
Duchess or Black Eyed Pea?
769
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,598
Duchess. She could be here in 45.
770
00:39:40,682 --> 00:39:44,254
Talitha, meet Bridget Jones.
Best producer we've ever had.
771
00:39:44,338 --> 00:39:45,342
Oh.
772
00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:47,083
I'm sure you're very good too.
773
00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:48,302
Huge fan.
774
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:49,564
Hold this.
775
00:39:49,648 --> 00:39:51,653
Loved your early work from Chechnya.
776
00:39:51,737 --> 00:39:54,917
Now I'm doing features
on incontinent tortoises.
777
00:39:55,001 --> 00:39:56,266
Fergie.
778
00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:58,007
Are those glutes burning up?
779
00:39:58,091 --> 00:39:59,005
Hello.
780
00:39:59,048 --> 00:40:01,184
- Hey. Sorry.
- Right.
781
00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:04,666
Uh, right. Let's get rid
of this set, please, now!
782
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,668
So, what do you think?
783
00:40:06,752 --> 00:40:08,322
Can we lure you back?
784
00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:10,411
Fergie's in.
785
00:40:10,495 --> 00:40:13,718
Does anyone know how to get
tortoise piss out of silk?
786
00:40:13,802 --> 00:40:16,239
Blotting and mild detergent.
787
00:40:17,153 --> 00:40:18,503
When can I start?
788
00:40:21,027 --> 00:40:23,685
Am rejoining ranks of London's employed
789
00:40:23,769 --> 00:40:27,384
and meaningfully contributing to society.
790
00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:32,128
Can walk with head held high and be
role model for Billy and Mabel,
791
00:40:32,212 --> 00:40:36,869
saving them from otherwise certain future
as alcoholic wards of the state.
792
00:40:39,132 --> 00:40:42,094
It's super that the television's
invited you back.
793
00:40:42,178 --> 00:40:44,706
Of course, I always stayed
at home when you were little.
794
00:40:44,790 --> 00:40:45,663
Classic Mum.
795
00:40:45,747 --> 00:40:47,273
Can't really talk, Mum.
796
00:40:47,357 --> 00:40:49,406
I've got to tidy up
before the nanny gets here.
797
00:40:49,490 --> 00:40:50,886
A nanny? Really?
798
00:40:50,970 --> 00:40:54,498
Mummy doesn't love us anymore.
Ow!
799
00:40:54,582 --> 00:40:57,371
Ever since Mum and Una moved
into Audsley House,
800
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,982
the retirement home
we have to pretend is a hotel,
801
00:41:00,066 --> 00:41:01,723
the phone calls have been the same.
802
00:41:01,807 --> 00:41:04,203
Any men on the horizon,
Bridget?
803
00:41:04,287 --> 00:41:07,381
Well, there's got to be someone.
Some people don't mind a widow.
804
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,078
Stings a bit.
805
00:41:09,162 --> 00:41:11,123
Beggars can't be choosers, Bridget.
806
00:41:11,207 --> 00:41:14,213
And now, look, we're in the hotel kitchen
807
00:41:14,297 --> 00:41:16,999
doing salmon in the sous vide.
808
00:41:17,083 --> 00:41:19,218
I mean, it's basically boil-in-the-bag,
809
00:41:19,302 --> 00:41:21,569
but everybody's doing it these days.
810
00:41:21,653 --> 00:41:24,093
Roxster.
Definite development.
811
00:41:24,177 --> 00:41:25,747
Cooking's never really been your thing.
812
00:41:25,831 --> 00:41:28,227
Oh, must go. Bye, Mum!
813
00:41:28,311 --> 00:41:29,315
Bye, bye.
814
00:41:29,399 --> 00:41:30,792
Oh, God, it's her.
815
00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:35,057
Hi, I'm Chloe.
816
00:41:36,232 --> 00:41:37,233
Hello.
817
00:41:38,844 --> 00:41:40,501
What the actual fuck?
818
00:41:40,585 --> 00:41:43,068
She looks like a film star.
819
00:41:43,152 --> 00:41:44,722
Chloe, this is Mabel.
820
00:41:44,806 --> 00:41:47,464
Look, I can play the recorder with my nose.
821
00:41:49,158 --> 00:41:51,599
Children, this is Chloe.
822
00:41:51,683 --> 00:41:53,601
She's going to come and help with everything.
823
00:41:53,685 --> 00:41:55,429
Nicolette mentioned it would be a challenge,
824
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:57,518
- but I've certainly seen worse.
- Oh.
825
00:41:57,602 --> 00:42:00,651
Oh, and this is Billy, the science genius.
826
00:42:00,735 --> 00:42:04,438
Ooh, we mustn't pigeonhole children.
It adds undue pressure.
827
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:06,570
Have you read How To Raise
a Self-Driven Child?
828
00:42:06,654 --> 00:42:08,224
Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list,
829
00:42:08,308 --> 00:42:11,488
so do not spoil the ending.
830
00:42:11,572 --> 00:42:13,316
Oh, not to worry, Billy.
831
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,231
It's not about the result.
It's about the journey.
832
00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:17,494
There's something to learn
whether you get an A or a C.
833
00:42:17,578 --> 00:42:20,929
Billy has never had a C in...
834
00:42:22,017 --> 00:42:22,844
Who did this?
835
00:42:22,888 --> 00:42:24,893
Mr Walliker.
836
00:42:24,977 --> 00:42:28,287
I drew the earth and the atmosphere,
and I put heaven over the top.
837
00:42:28,371 --> 00:42:31,377
And Mr Walliker said that heaven
was a religious construct.
838
00:42:31,461 --> 00:42:32,857
And he gave me a C.
839
00:42:32,941 --> 00:42:34,946
Well, Mr Walliker
840
00:42:35,030 --> 00:42:37,471
is a whistle-obsessed fascist
841
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:40,822
with all the soul of a non-stick wok.
842
00:42:40,906 --> 00:42:43,215
Where did you hide the chocolate digestives?
843
00:42:43,299 --> 00:42:45,780
I didn't hide...
844
00:42:47,390 --> 00:42:48,394
...anything.
845
00:42:50,045 --> 00:42:52,834
Well, plenty to do here.
846
00:42:54,789 --> 00:42:57,142
♪ If my body was a boat
Could you steer that, sailor? ♪
847
00:42:57,226 --> 00:43:00,842
♪ Make it feel Like it's a 1960s
Hollywood trailer... ♪
848
00:43:00,926 --> 00:43:04,236
Consumed with guilt
re hideously perfect nanny,
849
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,978
who children will obviously come
to love more than hopeless mother
850
00:43:07,062 --> 00:43:08,850
without film star hair.
851
00:43:08,934 --> 00:43:11,505
♪ Ooh, it's what I need
Yes, 'cause ♪
852
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:15,770
♪ I could love you ♪
853
00:43:15,854 --> 00:43:20,383
♪ If I really wanted to ♪
854
00:43:20,467 --> 00:43:23,865
♪ You could be
Be my glass of wine ♪
855
00:43:23,949 --> 00:43:26,563
♪ When the sun set
Help me exhale all the excess ♪
856
00:43:26,647 --> 00:43:30,088
♪ Baby, bae, b-b-bae
B-b-baby, would you ♪
857
00:43:30,172 --> 00:43:32,472
♪ Would you make it all right? ♪
858
00:43:32,479 --> 00:43:33,929
♪ Or maybe that much better? ♪
859
00:43:33,959 --> 00:43:35,659
♪ If you wanted
You could make it ♪
860
00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,900
♪ All worth it, worth it
Worth it, worth it ♪
861
00:43:37,963 --> 00:43:42,840
♪ Ooh, when I see the sun rising
You make it that much better ♪
862
00:43:42,924 --> 00:43:45,626
♪ So I hope you're gonna make it
All worth it, worth it... ♪
863
00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:49,064
And texting Roxster
slowly became part of my life.
864
00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:53,155
A relationship with no necessity
for actually meeting,
865
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:57,333
or arrangements, or sex,
or any real life at all.
866
00:43:57,417 --> 00:44:01,424
In other words, the perfect relationship.
867
00:44:01,508 --> 00:44:03,902
Is that the tree Adonis?
868
00:44:04,816 --> 00:44:07,038
Wait a minute.
869
00:44:07,122 --> 00:44:10,433
You wrote to him,
"How are you liking Tinder?"
870
00:44:10,517 --> 00:44:13,001
Inoffensive, neutral, a bit dull.
871
00:44:13,085 --> 00:44:16,654
He replied, "Don't know, only joined
it to find you, Bridget Jones."
872
00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:20,095
- Shag him now.
- Mm-mmm.
873
00:44:20,179 --> 00:44:22,837
Then he sent a smiley emoji
874
00:44:22,921 --> 00:44:26,841
and then you responded
with the flag of Greece,
875
00:44:26,925 --> 00:44:30,580
an abacus and a duck.
876
00:44:33,540 --> 00:44:34,631
I panicked.
877
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:36,067
Thank you.
878
00:44:36,151 --> 00:44:37,939
Who's next?
879
00:44:38,023 --> 00:44:40,681
Do you want to go for a drink?
880
00:44:40,765 --> 00:44:42,944
I'm so flattered.
881
00:44:43,028 --> 00:44:45,468
Um, but I've got a boyfriend.
882
00:44:45,552 --> 00:44:49,428
Well, sort of got a boyfriend.
I think.
883
00:44:49,512 --> 00:44:52,690
Um, so nice of you to ask, but, um...
884
00:44:54,082 --> 00:44:56,044
No, thank you.
885
00:44:56,128 --> 00:44:58,304
No, it's part of the meal deal.
886
00:45:01,786 --> 00:45:02,920
Well, this one's easy.
887
00:45:03,004 --> 00:45:05,793
You absolutely must go.
Obviously.
888
00:45:05,877 --> 00:45:09,187
But we've been texting for so
long now. I can't meet him.
889
00:45:09,271 --> 00:45:11,059
I mean, maybe it's like in Jane Austen's day
890
00:45:11,143 --> 00:45:12,887
when they did letter writing
for months and months
891
00:45:12,971 --> 00:45:14,540
and then suddenly just got married.
892
00:45:14,624 --> 00:45:17,718
Bridget, sexting a man
that you just met in a park
893
00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:19,589
is nothing like
Jane Austen's day.
894
00:45:19,673 --> 00:45:22,244
- If you don't shag him, I will.
- I can't.
895
00:45:22,328 --> 00:45:25,726
There is no possibility of being naked
with a man at this point in my life.
896
00:45:25,810 --> 00:45:28,032
You just need a little rebrand.
897
00:45:28,116 --> 00:45:29,666
You'll start by getting a slip.
898
00:45:29,683 --> 00:45:31,383
- A slip?
- Yeah, with a slip,
899
00:45:31,467 --> 00:45:33,995
you can show off your arms,
your legs, your décolletage,
900
00:45:34,079 --> 00:45:35,474
which are always the last to go.
901
00:45:35,558 --> 00:45:37,128
And keep the central area,
902
00:45:37,212 --> 00:45:40,131
which one might want to gloss
over, glossed over.
903
00:45:40,215 --> 00:45:41,480
And get a Brazilian.
904
00:45:41,564 --> 00:45:43,047
God, no.
905
00:45:43,131 --> 00:45:44,745
I like a bit of coverage down there.
906
00:45:44,829 --> 00:45:46,529
Or run a comb through it at least.
907
00:45:46,613 --> 00:45:48,792
But also, do get a Brazilian.
908
00:45:48,876 --> 00:45:50,617
Just dust it. Dust it down.
909
00:45:51,444 --> 00:45:53,144
Okay, I'll go!
910
00:45:53,228 --> 00:45:55,796
But I'm not going to sleep with him.
911
00:45:57,537 --> 00:45:59,585
Are condoms meant to be coloured?
912
00:45:59,669 --> 00:46:01,544
Is hypersensitive good?
913
00:46:01,628 --> 00:46:04,025
Large? Small? Oh.
914
00:46:04,109 --> 00:46:07,460
Maybe just purchase
a representative selection.
915
00:46:15,816 --> 00:46:16,916
Regular.
916
00:46:18,601 --> 00:46:20,128
Mmm, exotic flavours.
917
00:46:22,692 --> 00:46:23,827
Thin feel.
918
00:46:26,087 --> 00:46:27,393
Extra-large.
919
00:46:28,873 --> 00:46:30,222
Pleasure Me.
920
00:46:32,267 --> 00:46:33,921
Lube.
921
00:46:35,401 --> 00:46:37,001
Pleasure Me again.
922
00:46:46,629 --> 00:46:48,588
Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy.
923
00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:59,468
Hello, old friend.
924
00:47:07,737 --> 00:47:08,738
Hmm.
925
00:47:10,305 --> 00:47:11,570
Thanks for having the kids tonight.
926
00:47:11,654 --> 00:47:12,963
Always a pleasure, never a chore.
927
00:47:13,047 --> 00:47:14,399
I'll take them to school in the morning.
928
00:47:14,483 --> 00:47:18,447
So you can stay out as late as you want.
929
00:47:18,531 --> 00:47:20,449
Make up for four years of no shagging.
930
00:47:20,533 --> 00:47:21,969
It's only a drink.
931
00:47:24,711 --> 00:47:26,368
Too see-through?
932
00:47:26,452 --> 00:47:28,762
Mmm. Definitely.
933
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:29,977
OK.
934
00:47:31,457 --> 00:47:32,675
How about this?
935
00:47:34,764 --> 00:47:36,900
OK.
936
00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:39,120
The reality suddenly completely terrifying,
937
00:47:39,204 --> 00:47:40,904
and Mark, and insane and flabby.
938
00:47:40,988 --> 00:47:42,079
And oh, God, oh, God.
939
00:47:42,163 --> 00:47:43,515
I can't.
940
00:47:43,599 --> 00:47:45,517
- I really can't.
- Oh. What? What?
941
00:47:45,601 --> 00:47:48,520
- No, I just can't.
- Aw. Hey, you can.
942
00:47:48,604 --> 00:47:52,524
You just need to think of it as
widening your circle of friends.
943
00:47:52,608 --> 00:47:53,827
That's all.
944
00:47:54,741 --> 00:47:56,311
Hmm?
945
00:47:56,395 --> 00:47:57,703
Come on.
946
00:47:57,787 --> 00:47:59,880
Put on the dress, get out of here
947
00:47:59,964 --> 00:48:02,183
and widen your fucking circle.
948
00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:23,338
Oh, God. Look at him.
949
00:48:23,422 --> 00:48:25,206
What if he's perfect?
950
00:48:34,607 --> 00:48:35,611
Hello.
951
00:48:35,695 --> 00:48:36,696
Hi.
952
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:42,618
There's a really great place around
here that's been here for forever.
953
00:48:42,702 --> 00:48:44,272
Do you know this area at all?
954
00:48:44,356 --> 00:48:47,101
Mmm, I used to.
955
00:48:47,185 --> 00:48:50,756
Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger
thing is just a day job.
956
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,495
And my real passion is garbage.
957
00:48:55,845 --> 00:48:56,980
Really?
958
00:48:57,064 --> 00:49:00,549
The technical term is garbologist.
959
00:49:00,633 --> 00:49:03,987
I'm a biochemist.
Studying to be one.
960
00:49:04,071 --> 00:49:05,728
You're a student.
961
00:49:05,812 --> 00:49:07,991
A late-in-life one, anyway.
Yeah.
962
00:49:08,075 --> 00:49:09,906
How late?
963
00:49:09,990 --> 00:49:11,078
I'm 28.
964
00:49:12,253 --> 00:49:13,562
I'm just kidding.
965
00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:14,952
I'm 29.
966
00:49:15,735 --> 00:49:17,218
Fuck.
967
00:49:17,302 --> 00:49:19,829
Is he closer in age to me or to Billy?
968
00:49:19,913 --> 00:49:21,088
What about you?
969
00:49:22,437 --> 00:49:23,702
You are...
970
00:49:23,786 --> 00:49:25,835
Slightly older.
971
00:49:25,919 --> 00:49:29,099
I'm gonna say 35-ish.
972
00:49:29,183 --> 00:49:30,405
Yes.
973
00:49:30,489 --> 00:49:31,664
Bull's-eye.
974
00:49:32,752 --> 00:49:34,278
Let's say 35.
975
00:49:34,362 --> 00:49:35,962
- Mmm. Thirty-five it is.
- Mm-hmm.
976
00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:39,327
Is 35 all right?
977
00:49:39,411 --> 00:49:41,198
I think older women,
978
00:49:41,282 --> 00:49:43,981
ever so slightly older women,
979
00:49:45,199 --> 00:49:46,682
have a wiser view on life.
980
00:49:46,766 --> 00:49:48,858
You know, they're more experienced
981
00:49:48,942 --> 00:49:52,383
and more emotionally mature.
982
00:49:52,467 --> 00:49:54,124
Me in a nutshell.
983
00:49:54,208 --> 00:49:56,994
I find that very attractive.
984
00:50:19,886 --> 00:50:23,803
Oh, God. I have no idea how
any of this works anymore.
985
00:50:25,457 --> 00:50:27,111
Is it all right if I kiss you?
986
00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:33,511
Aw.
The generation who ask.
987
00:50:33,595 --> 00:50:35,728
I think that would be acceptable.
988
00:51:26,953 --> 00:51:29,306
Give me just one moment.
989
00:51:40,314 --> 00:51:42,099
Oh, my God.
990
00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:45,450
What are you doing?
991
00:52:09,213 --> 00:52:12,393
♪ Put your hand down, boy ♪
992
00:52:12,477 --> 00:52:15,570
♪ Welcome to my zoo ♪
993
00:52:15,654 --> 00:52:19,052
♪ Put your head inside
My big, black wild while ♪
994
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:22,272
♪ I can still help you ♪
995
00:52:22,356 --> 00:52:25,406
♪ See the snake-baboon ♪
996
00:52:25,490 --> 00:52:28,583
♪ Funky, chic and smooth ♪
997
00:52:28,667 --> 00:52:32,195
♪ Honey, can you spy
The divine ape-swine ♪
998
00:52:32,279 --> 00:52:36,631
♪ 'Cause he can see you ♪
999
00:52:40,113 --> 00:52:41,335
I...
1000
00:52:41,419 --> 00:52:42,510
You all right?
1001
00:52:42,594 --> 00:52:43,769
Yeah. It's just...
1002
00:52:45,727 --> 00:52:47,164
Yeah. Okay.
1003
00:52:48,077 --> 00:52:49,430
Wow. It's really tight.
1004
00:52:52,908 --> 00:52:56,915
♪ I'm a man
I'm a twisted fool ♪
1005
00:52:56,999 --> 00:53:00,049
♪ My hands are twisted, too... ♪
1006
00:53:02,135 --> 00:53:04,314
- ♪ I am an animal... ♪
- Oh, God.
1007
00:53:04,398 --> 00:53:06,664
♪ ...that starts with E ♪
1008
00:53:06,748 --> 00:53:08,057
- Mabel's.
- Ah.
1009
00:53:09,403 --> 00:53:10,712
♪ I'm a man ♪
1010
00:53:10,796 --> 00:53:13,323
♪ I'm a twisted fool ♪
1011
00:53:13,407 --> 00:53:16,587
♪ My hands are twisted too ♪
1012
00:53:16,671 --> 00:53:18,807
♪ Five fingers
Two black hooves ♪
1013
00:53:18,891 --> 00:53:20,287
You make me so hard, baby.
1014
00:53:20,371 --> 00:53:23,200
You make me hard.
1015
00:53:24,853 --> 00:53:25,814
What?
1016
00:53:27,247 --> 00:53:29,600
♪ Got toes and I can smile ♪
1017
00:53:29,684 --> 00:53:34,689
♪ I'm crooked but upright ♪
1018
00:54:04,676 --> 00:54:06,768
How did that happen?
I'm using protection.
1019
00:54:09,507 --> 00:54:15,298
♪ La, la, la, la
Whoo ♪
1020
00:54:15,382 --> 00:54:17,257
♪ I'm so nine-to-five ♪
1021
00:54:17,341 --> 00:54:18,693
- Hi, Bridge.
- Morning.
1022
00:54:18,777 --> 00:54:20,260
I've got coffee and I've got Ricky Gervais's
1023
00:54:20,344 --> 00:54:22,218
requests for today's show.
1024
00:54:22,302 --> 00:54:24,481
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
1025
00:54:24,565 --> 00:54:26,353
- It's big.
- Yeah.
1026
00:54:26,437 --> 00:54:28,703
- A relaxation corner.
- Uh-huh.
1027
00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:30,966
Three full-length mirrors.
1028
00:54:31,050 --> 00:54:33,838
And he'll only use La Mer for some reason?
1029
00:54:33,922 --> 00:54:35,536
I know.
1030
00:54:35,620 --> 00:54:37,973
- Ooh. Three, please.
- Three.
1031
00:54:38,057 --> 00:54:39,844
Did you have sex last night?
1032
00:54:39,928 --> 00:54:42,151
What? No.
1033
00:54:42,235 --> 00:54:43,735
♪ Won't you take a hold of me ♪
1034
00:54:43,802 --> 00:54:46,242
Sam! Ricky Gervais is on his way in.
1035
00:54:46,326 --> 00:54:49,158
And, apparently, he won't drink
Evian, only Icelandic water.
1036
00:54:49,242 --> 00:54:51,331
And it's got to have lots of alkalines.
1037
00:54:52,419 --> 00:54:53,594
Or no alkalines.
1038
00:54:54,421 --> 00:54:55,466
Um...
1039
00:54:56,597 --> 00:54:58,211
Did you have sex last night?
1040
00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,082
What? No!
1041
00:55:00,166 --> 00:55:01,910
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
1042
00:55:01,994 --> 00:55:03,781
God!
1043
00:55:03,865 --> 00:55:06,044
Tape measure, please. Quick.
1044
00:55:06,128 --> 00:55:11,224
The cushion can't be more than 40 centimetres
from the floor for Ricky.
1045
00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:12,918
Did you have sex last night?
1046
00:55:16,008 --> 00:55:19,493
Yes. I did. Okay?
I did.
1047
00:55:19,577 --> 00:55:24,585
I had a full night
of utterly mind-blowing sex
1048
00:55:24,669 --> 00:55:29,285
with a tree-rescuing rubbish expert Adonis
who might be slightly younger, probably.
1049
00:55:29,369 --> 00:55:33,289
And it was amazing!
1050
00:55:33,373 --> 00:55:34,769
Okay?
1051
00:55:34,853 --> 00:55:36,811
So what?
1052
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,391
♪ Lost in romance ♪
1053
00:55:48,475 --> 00:55:50,959
♪ Let's just dance, ooh ♪
1054
00:55:51,043 --> 00:55:53,004
♪ Shake it till the pearls
Get lost ♪
1055
00:55:53,088 --> 00:55:55,180
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
1056
00:55:55,264 --> 00:55:57,400
Am not only mother and sexual being,
1057
00:55:57,484 --> 00:56:00,621
but also capable working woman
at the top of her game.
1058
00:56:00,705 --> 00:56:02,753
So take that, Chloe.
1059
00:56:02,837 --> 00:56:05,930
I've done the macaroni and cheese,
but with butternut squash instead.
1060
00:56:06,014 --> 00:56:08,629
It's in the bottom oven. Just needs to
move to the top in about 20 minutes.
1061
00:56:08,713 --> 00:56:10,892
Good. Good. Right.
1062
00:56:10,976 --> 00:56:13,024
It's just how I would do it.
1063
00:56:13,108 --> 00:56:14,722
Um... Oh, Chloe,
1064
00:56:14,806 --> 00:56:16,898
uh, it would be really helpful
1065
00:56:16,982 --> 00:56:19,030
to have their water bottles done
the night before.
1066
00:56:19,114 --> 00:56:20,858
In the fridge. Top right.
1067
00:56:20,942 --> 00:56:22,295
Where the expired milk was.
1068
00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:25,994
Oh, great. Great. Um...
1069
00:56:26,078 --> 00:56:29,258
Billy will need something extra
for snack tomorrow.
1070
00:56:29,342 --> 00:56:31,304
- He's got--
- Cricket, yeah.
1071
00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:33,488
In a snack bag. Labelled.
By the bread bin.
1072
00:56:33,564 --> 00:56:36,134
- We have a bread bin?
- I have to leave, I'm afraid.
1073
00:56:36,218 --> 00:56:38,118
Graham and I have tai chi on Thursdays.
1074
00:56:38,133 --> 00:56:40,661
6:45 sharp, but earlier
to get the spot you want.
1075
00:56:40,745 --> 00:56:42,663
Oh. Course.
1076
00:56:42,747 --> 00:56:45,274
You and Graham enjoy your tai chi.
1077
00:56:45,358 --> 00:56:47,972
Oh, you forgot to leave out
Billy's cricket things,
1078
00:56:48,056 --> 00:56:49,147
but never mind. I'll do it.
1079
00:56:49,231 --> 00:56:50,711
Bag packed by the door.
1080
00:56:55,499 --> 00:56:56,938
Nevertheless,
1081
00:56:57,022 --> 00:57:00,245
secret to calmer, happier parenting:
1082
00:57:00,329 --> 00:57:02,244
one-night stands.
1083
00:57:03,768 --> 00:57:07,032
Although, it wasn't just one night.
1084
00:57:08,860 --> 00:57:10,078
Brought a pie.
1085
00:57:11,123 --> 00:57:12,475
Hmm.
1086
00:57:18,739 --> 00:57:20,396
That was funny.
1087
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:23,048
And so, a moment turned into a date,
1088
00:57:24,179 --> 00:57:25,964
which turned into a kiss.
1089
00:57:27,879 --> 00:57:29,837
Which turned into a night.
1090
00:57:30,838 --> 00:57:32,974
♪ Ooh ♪
1091
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:39,241
♪ What a wonderful thing... ♪
1092
00:57:39,325 --> 00:57:42,810
And the night turned into a summer.
1093
00:57:44,548 --> 00:57:47,812
♪ I can see
You standing there now ♪
1094
00:57:49,509 --> 00:57:51,645
♪ And you're
The prettiest thing ♪
1095
00:57:51,729 --> 00:57:53,557
♪ In the crowd ♪
1096
00:57:55,297 --> 00:58:01,826
♪ And guess who
Be laughing loud, but me ♪
1097
00:58:03,305 --> 00:58:07,484
♪ You made me see the love ♪
1098
00:58:08,702 --> 00:58:12,405
♪ That you're giving me ♪
1099
00:58:12,489 --> 00:58:14,319
♪ Baby... ♪
1100
00:58:15,622 --> 00:58:17,972
♪ Won't you hold my hand? ♪
1101
00:58:19,539 --> 00:58:23,677
♪ Just let me know that
I'm your man ♪
1102
00:58:23,761 --> 00:58:27,507
♪ And show I'm not ashamed ♪
1103
00:58:27,591 --> 00:58:30,118
♪ I walk the floor ♪
1104
00:58:30,202 --> 00:58:34,427
♪ When you leave me ♪
1105
00:58:35,990 --> 00:58:37,992
♪ Hey, baby ♪
1106
00:58:39,298 --> 00:58:41,996
♪ I don't know about you ♪
1107
00:58:43,911 --> 00:58:47,741
♪ Let me tell you what
I'm gonna do ♪
1108
00:58:49,482 --> 00:58:54,142
♪ I'm gonna try to make
My dreams come true ♪
1109
00:58:54,226 --> 00:58:56,971
♪ With you ♪
1110
00:58:57,055 --> 00:58:58,451
Morning. Welcome back.
1111
00:58:58,535 --> 00:59:00,714
- Good morning, Mr Walliker.
- Morning.
1112
00:59:00,798 --> 00:59:02,324
- Morning.
- Mrs Darcy.
1113
00:59:02,408 --> 00:59:03,543
How were your summer holidays?
1114
00:59:03,627 --> 00:59:04,777
I have a new daddy now.
1115
00:59:04,802 --> 00:59:06,110
His name is Roxster,
1116
00:59:06,194 --> 00:59:07,547
and he always gives Mummy
1117
00:59:07,631 --> 00:59:09,244
a funny hairstyle in the morning.
1118
00:59:09,328 --> 00:59:11,376
Yes, well. It's not that funny, is it, Mabel?
1119
00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:12,987
It is.
1120
00:59:13,071 --> 00:59:15,856
He's not a new daddy.
He's just someone.
1121
00:59:17,989 --> 00:59:18,859
Off you go.
1122
00:59:20,687 --> 00:59:22,837
Well, it seems congratulations are in order.
1123
00:59:24,212 --> 00:59:25,782
You!
1124
00:59:25,866 --> 00:59:28,089
- No. You two. Come on.
- Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye.
1125
00:59:28,173 --> 00:59:29,612
Bisous, bisous, bisous.
1126
00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:32,310
Bridget, I emailed you
from Anguilla about, um--
1127
00:59:32,394 --> 00:59:35,400
Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared.
1128
00:59:35,484 --> 00:59:39,880
I must say, it's a welcome change, all... this.
1129
00:59:40,925 --> 00:59:42,143
Thank you.
1130
00:59:45,886 --> 00:59:47,935
All right, everyone.
Settle down.
1131
00:59:48,019 --> 00:59:49,763
Settle down. Thank you.
1132
00:59:49,847 --> 00:59:51,416
Um, so...
1133
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:54,768
Last term, Daveed's dad
was kind enough to talk to us
1134
00:59:54,852 --> 00:59:56,552
about being a thoracic surgeon,
1135
00:59:56,636 --> 00:59:58,946
and next week,
Eugenie's mum will be in
1136
00:59:59,030 --> 01:00:01,775
to talk about her role
as a nuclear physicist,
1137
01:00:01,859 --> 01:00:04,212
and how it felt to win the Nobel Prize.
1138
01:00:04,296 --> 01:00:07,389
But today, it's Billy's mum.
1139
01:00:07,473 --> 01:00:10,392
So, everyone, give a warm
welcome to Mrs Darcy.
1140
01:00:15,350 --> 01:00:16,351
Hello.
1141
01:00:19,267 --> 01:00:20,750
Um.
1142
01:00:20,834 --> 01:00:24,362
I am a television producer.
1143
01:00:24,446 --> 01:00:28,323
My mum says television is making society rot.
1144
01:00:28,407 --> 01:00:30,107
Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla.
1145
01:00:30,191 --> 01:00:33,241
OK.
May we have a volunteer?
1146
01:00:34,282 --> 01:00:36,197
Thank you, Esmeralda.
1147
01:00:44,075 --> 01:00:45,122
Right.
1148
01:00:45,206 --> 01:00:48,473
You can stand here.
1149
01:00:48,557 --> 01:00:49,736
Very good.
1150
01:00:49,820 --> 01:00:52,521
And you are going to say things like,
1151
01:00:52,605 --> 01:00:54,871
"Ten seconds to air!"
1152
01:00:54,955 --> 01:00:59,133
And I am going to be
the interviewer for the day.
1153
01:01:00,308 --> 01:01:01,486
Now...
1154
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:06,401
Just...
1155
01:01:08,099 --> 01:01:11,148
Right. OK.
1156
01:01:11,232 --> 01:01:16,020
Perhaps Mr Walliker could be
the person being interviewed.
1157
01:01:17,369 --> 01:01:18,544
Take a seat.
1158
01:01:19,371 --> 01:01:21,376
Uh, righto.
1159
01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:23,331
Now, topic.
1160
01:01:25,638 --> 01:01:28,949
The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm?
1161
01:01:29,033 --> 01:01:30,164
Right, OK.
1162
01:01:32,297 --> 01:01:35,213
Ooh. Ten seconds to air!
1163
01:01:36,562 --> 01:01:38,523
Hello, this is Bridget Jones,
1164
01:01:38,607 --> 01:01:42,266
and I'm delighted to have
Mr Walliker on the show today
1165
01:01:42,350 --> 01:01:46,270
to help us understand
the life cycle of the fruit fly.
1166
01:01:46,354 --> 01:01:48,142
Um, well, it's a...
1167
01:01:48,226 --> 01:01:49,752
It's a pleasure to be on the show.
1168
01:01:49,836 --> 01:01:52,450
And, um, thank you for that question.
1169
01:01:52,534 --> 01:01:53,930
Um...
1170
01:01:54,014 --> 01:01:55,889
Well, the, uh, the average...
1171
01:01:57,409 --> 01:01:58,543
Thank you.
1172
01:01:58,627 --> 01:02:00,502
Uh, the average fly takes about
1173
01:02:00,586 --> 01:02:01,938
two weeks to mature
1174
01:02:02,022 --> 01:02:05,550
and can live for as long as 40 or 50 days.
1175
01:02:05,634 --> 01:02:09,206
And then, like all living things,
when it dies, it simply stops.
1176
01:02:09,290 --> 01:02:10,468
Cellular shutdown.
1177
01:02:10,552 --> 01:02:12,645
It falls, gradually decomposes,
1178
01:02:12,729 --> 01:02:14,734
and becomes part of the soil system.
1179
01:02:14,818 --> 01:02:16,776
But does it really end when it dies?
1180
01:02:18,778 --> 01:02:20,914
Exactly, Mr Walliker.
1181
01:02:20,998 --> 01:02:23,696
Surely there's more to the story.
1182
01:02:25,132 --> 01:02:29,049
Um, well. Well, not really.
1183
01:02:29,963 --> 01:02:32,142
But, yes.
1184
01:02:32,226 --> 01:02:36,973
After the body of the fruit fly
stops working,
1185
01:02:37,057 --> 01:02:39,802
uh, then the soul of the fruit fly
1186
01:02:39,886 --> 01:02:42,805
will be able to be free, yes?
1187
01:02:42,889 --> 01:02:45,025
And that particular fruit fly
1188
01:02:45,109 --> 01:02:48,895
will always, in some senses, be with us.
1189
01:02:52,681 --> 01:02:55,557
- The soul of the fruit fly?
- Hmm.
1190
01:02:55,641 --> 01:02:57,254
There's no evidence for a soul,
1191
01:02:57,338 --> 01:03:01,563
but the body is a perfect system
of electrical pulses,
1192
01:03:01,647 --> 01:03:04,131
powered by the heart, which is in itself
1193
01:03:04,215 --> 01:03:07,177
- a pump, if you will--
- The soul, Mr Walliker,
1194
01:03:07,261 --> 01:03:10,050
is the essence of every living thing.
1195
01:03:10,134 --> 01:03:12,487
If you think we're simply bits of machinery
1196
01:03:12,571 --> 01:03:14,121
that can be switched on or off,
1197
01:03:14,181 --> 01:03:15,969
then where does art come from?
1198
01:03:16,053 --> 01:03:18,580
Or-Or wonder? Or poetry?
1199
01:03:18,664 --> 01:03:20,234
- Or magic?
- Magic?
1200
01:03:20,318 --> 01:03:21,888
The fruit fly, when it dies,
1201
01:03:21,972 --> 01:03:24,804
will stay with its fruit fly family forever.
1202
01:03:24,888 --> 01:03:27,589
Keep the interview on point,
Bridget.
1203
01:03:27,673 --> 01:03:29,373
This is utter nonsense.
1204
01:03:29,457 --> 01:03:33,203
Our world is governed by laws and fact.
1205
01:03:33,287 --> 01:03:34,857
That's our universe.
1206
01:03:34,941 --> 01:03:36,729
- And it is rational.
- Cut!
1207
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:38,687
I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy.
1208
01:03:38,771 --> 01:03:40,689
I believe in what's real.
1209
01:03:40,773 --> 01:03:41,905
Cut!
1210
01:03:43,297 --> 01:03:45,476
Off to Talitha's birthday.
1211
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:48,001
Are you sure you're OK to stay tonight?
1212
01:03:48,085 --> 01:03:51,091
It's Thursday. I thought you
and Graham had tai chi.
1213
01:03:51,175 --> 01:03:53,615
Won't kill him to miss a week, will it?
1214
01:03:53,699 --> 01:03:55,440
He's so uptight.
1215
01:03:57,311 --> 01:03:59,273
Oh, you look nice, Bridget.
1216
01:03:59,357 --> 01:04:01,144
Oh!
1217
01:04:01,228 --> 01:04:03,274
Ooh.
1218
01:04:04,405 --> 01:04:05,406
Oh, try this.
1219
01:04:12,413 --> 01:04:13,766
There.
1220
01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:15,199
Thanks, Chloe.
1221
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,639
Billy! Mabes!
Snacks on the table.
1222
01:04:24,817 --> 01:04:28,084
So where is he?
Is he not coming?
1223
01:04:28,168 --> 01:04:30,870
Oh, it's fine.
He must have been held up.
1224
01:04:30,954 --> 01:04:33,437
- What? By some sort of rubbish emergency?
- Oh.
1225
01:04:33,521 --> 01:04:35,613
- Probably had to finish his homework.
- Stop it.
1226
01:04:35,697 --> 01:04:37,224
Hope he gets here before story time.
1227
01:04:37,308 --> 01:04:38,921
Shut it!
1228
01:04:39,005 --> 01:04:40,793
Come the fuck on, Bridge.
1229
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,490
Does this guy actually exist
1230
01:04:42,574 --> 01:04:44,840
or is it, um, like that one time
1231
01:04:44,924 --> 01:04:46,494
that you saw Brad Pitt at Costa Coffee?
1232
01:04:46,578 --> 01:04:49,062
- It was him. It was.
- Come on. Really?
1233
01:04:49,146 --> 01:04:50,672
- Happy birthday.
- Lovely to see you.
1234
01:04:50,756 --> 01:04:52,848
What on earth are you holding?
1235
01:04:52,932 --> 01:04:54,545
Oh, Petula.
1236
01:04:54,629 --> 01:04:55,851
A present to myself
1237
01:04:55,935 --> 01:04:58,288
and I already prefer her to any human.
1238
01:04:58,372 --> 01:04:59,855
Oh, hi.
1239
01:04:59,939 --> 01:05:01,248
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1240
01:05:01,332 --> 01:05:03,337
Oh, here. Can you hold my baby
1241
01:05:03,421 --> 01:05:04,947
while I feign surprise at the cake
1242
01:05:05,031 --> 01:05:07,732
that I chose and bought for myself.
1243
01:05:07,816 --> 01:05:09,691
Oh, look! Look at that!
1244
01:05:09,775 --> 01:05:12,041
♪ Happy birthday, dear Talitha ♪
1245
01:05:12,125 --> 01:05:13,956
Thank you. Oh, look.
1246
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:19,092
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1247
01:05:23,615 --> 01:05:24,924
Thank you.
1248
01:05:25,008 --> 01:05:29,058
Thank you all so much for coming today
1249
01:05:29,142 --> 01:05:32,583
to help me celebrate, well, me.
1250
01:05:33,973 --> 01:05:35,412
We love you, Talitha.
1251
01:05:35,496 --> 01:05:37,796
- Talitha!
- Talitha! Happy birthday.
1252
01:05:39,109 --> 01:05:40,765
Beep, beep. Beep, beep.
1253
01:05:40,849 --> 01:05:42,942
Binko Carruthers.
1254
01:05:43,026 --> 01:05:45,076
Oh, please don't come over.
Please don't.
1255
01:05:45,115 --> 01:05:46,467
Beep, beep.
1256
01:05:46,551 --> 01:05:50,036
There she is.
The famous Bridget Jones.
1257
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:53,300
So I told Cosmo
I'd take you out for a spin.
1258
01:05:53,384 --> 01:05:54,301
How's Friday?
1259
01:05:56,169 --> 01:05:58,566
Fuck, no!
1260
01:05:58,650 --> 01:06:01,699
Jude, get in there. Come on,
get the fuck in there! God, help!
1261
01:06:01,783 --> 01:06:03,701
Oh, my God. Oh!
1262
01:06:03,785 --> 01:06:06,139
- Petula, come on, darling.
- Petula! Petula!
1263
01:06:07,398 --> 01:06:09,443
♪ I'm mad about the boy ♪
1264
01:06:12,359 --> 01:06:14,408
♪ And I know it's stupid ♪
1265
01:06:14,492 --> 01:06:17,280
♪ To be mad about the boy ♪
1266
01:06:17,364 --> 01:06:18,978
Who's that?
1267
01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:21,197
♪ I'm so ashamed of it ♪
1268
01:06:21,281 --> 01:06:26,156
♪ But must admit
The sleepless nights I've had ♪
1269
01:06:27,896 --> 01:06:29,463
♪ About the boy ♪
1270
01:06:32,727 --> 01:06:34,907
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1271
01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,473
♪ On the silver screen... ♪
1272
01:06:39,691 --> 01:06:43,956
♪ He melts my foolish heart
In every single scene ♪
1273
01:06:46,089 --> 01:06:48,964
♪ Although I'm quite aware... ♪
1274
01:06:49,048 --> 01:06:50,966
♪ That here and there
Are traces... ♪
1275
01:06:51,050 --> 01:06:53,052
- I think this belongs to you.
- Thank you.
1276
01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:58,710
♪ About the boy ♪
1277
01:07:01,626 --> 01:07:07,153
♪ Lord knows
I'm not a fool girl ♪
1278
01:07:09,155 --> 01:07:10,507
- Hello.
- Hi.
1279
01:07:10,591 --> 01:07:12,376
♪ I really shouldn't care ♪
1280
01:07:16,206 --> 01:07:20,123
♪ Lord knows
I'm not a school girl ♪
1281
01:07:21,602 --> 01:07:23,999
♪ Who's in the flurry... ♪
1282
01:07:24,083 --> 01:07:25,983
Sorry I'm late.
Buses were a nightmare.
1283
01:07:25,998 --> 01:07:27,043
It's fine.
1284
01:07:29,523 --> 01:07:30,788
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1285
01:07:30,872 --> 01:07:33,269
She just jumped out of my arms.
1286
01:07:33,353 --> 01:07:35,793
Do not apologise.
1287
01:07:35,877 --> 01:07:37,665
Oh, my darling.
1288
01:07:37,749 --> 01:07:39,580
Let me help you out of those wet clothes.
1289
01:07:39,664 --> 01:07:41,625
No. Don't you dare redress him.
1290
01:07:41,709 --> 01:07:44,237
- You look gorgeous.
- You look gorgeous.
1291
01:07:44,321 --> 01:07:47,585
♪ All because I'm mad ♪
1292
01:07:48,716 --> 01:07:54,160
♪ About the boy ♪
1293
01:07:54,244 --> 01:07:58,552
Now that, my darling,
is what I call a rebrand.
1294
01:08:00,380 --> 01:08:02,339
Hi. I'm Roxster.
1295
01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:24,059
♪ We've come a long
Long way together ♪
1296
01:08:24,143 --> 01:08:26,235
I hope he's up to it, darling.
1297
01:08:26,319 --> 01:08:28,716
♪ Through the hard times
And the good ♪
1298
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:33,112
♪ I have to celebrate you
Baby ♪
1299
01:08:33,196 --> 01:08:37,638
♪ I have to praise you like
I should ♪
1300
01:08:37,722 --> 01:08:39,637
♪ I have to praise you ♪
1301
01:08:42,205 --> 01:08:43,902
♪ I have to praise you ♪
1302
01:08:46,513 --> 01:08:48,344
♪ I have to praise you ♪
1303
01:08:48,428 --> 01:08:50,738
- Hello.
- Oh, fuck off.
1304
01:08:50,822 --> 01:08:54,959
♪ I have to praise you like
I should ♪
1305
01:08:55,043 --> 01:08:56,915
♪ I have to praise you ♪
1306
01:09:03,922 --> 01:09:05,793
♪ I have to praise you ♪
1307
01:09:11,016 --> 01:09:16,285
♪ I want a little sugar
In my bowl ♪
1308
01:09:16,369 --> 01:09:17,982
If there is a God,
1309
01:09:18,066 --> 01:09:20,420
I'm sure he had more to deal with that night
1310
01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:22,596
than my personal happiness,
1311
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:26,469
but it did feel like he'd taken
the night off everything else
1312
01:09:26,553 --> 01:09:28,207
to focus on me.
1313
01:09:30,601 --> 01:09:32,606
But then...
1314
01:09:32,690 --> 01:09:34,477
I wish I had a time machine.
1315
01:09:34,561 --> 01:09:36,305
♪ Feel so funny ♪
1316
01:09:36,389 --> 01:09:41,354
♪ I feel so sad ♪
1317
01:09:41,438 --> 01:09:42,659
♪ What's the matter, baby? ♪
1318
01:09:42,743 --> 01:09:44,139
A time machine.
1319
01:09:44,223 --> 01:09:46,750
♪ Come on, save my soul ♪
1320
01:09:46,834 --> 01:09:48,934
In his moment of inebriated joy,
1321
01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:51,317
he had given himself away.
1322
01:09:55,234 --> 01:09:56,978
♪ In my bowl ♪
1323
01:09:57,062 --> 01:09:58,893
It mattered to him.
1324
01:09:58,977 --> 01:10:04,025
And with that came the elephant
stomping heavily into the room.
1325
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,743
♪ I try to discover... ♪
1326
01:10:22,827 --> 01:10:24,571
That happens to us all, James.
1327
01:10:28,311 --> 01:10:30,751
Oh, I do have about 60 naps a day.
1328
01:10:32,619 --> 01:10:36,104
Well, 60 in the morning
and a nap in the afternoon.
1329
01:10:36,188 --> 01:10:40,021
Yeah, but you've got so many interesting
characters in this show.
1330
01:10:40,105 --> 01:10:42,154
So this show is for...
1331
01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:43,633
Ghosting.
1332
01:10:43,717 --> 01:10:45,418
The practice of ending a relationship
1333
01:10:45,502 --> 01:10:47,252
by suddenly and without explanation
1334
01:10:47,286 --> 01:10:49,680
withdrawing from all communication.
1335
01:10:51,421 --> 01:10:54,688
♪ That you give me
No reason why you... ♪
1336
01:10:54,772 --> 01:10:58,561
The slow unveiling of reality and rejection.
1337
01:10:58,645 --> 01:11:00,650
♪ That you give me no
That you give me no ♪
1338
01:11:00,734 --> 01:11:03,392
♪ That you give me no
That you give me no... ♪
1339
01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:05,130
The casual cruelty.
1340
01:11:06,523 --> 01:11:10,440
♪ I hear you calling ♪
1341
01:11:11,919 --> 01:11:15,665
♪ Oh, baby, please... ♪
1342
01:11:17,838 --> 01:11:21,758
♪ Give a little respect ♪
1343
01:11:21,842 --> 01:11:28,330
♪ To me ♪
1344
01:11:28,414 --> 01:11:31,028
♪ What religion or reason ♪
1345
01:11:31,112 --> 01:11:35,032
♪ Could cause a man
To forsake his lover? ♪
1346
01:11:35,116 --> 01:11:36,730
♪ Don't you tell me no... ♪
1347
01:11:36,814 --> 01:11:38,862
Do not text when ghosted.
1348
01:11:38,946 --> 01:11:42,388
♪ Don't you tell me no
Soul... ♪
1349
01:11:42,472 --> 01:11:44,868
Do not text when drunk.
1350
01:11:44,952 --> 01:11:47,738
♪ I hear you calling ♪
1351
01:11:48,869 --> 01:11:53,918
♪ Oh, baby, please ♪
1352
01:11:55,136 --> 01:11:58,752
♪ Give a little respect ♪
1353
01:11:58,836 --> 01:12:03,493
♪ To me ♪
1354
01:12:13,198 --> 01:12:14,898
Ghost the bastard back, Bridget.
1355
01:12:14,982 --> 01:12:17,640
Just let him disintegrate into nothingness.
1356
01:12:17,724 --> 01:12:19,512
It can be a jungle out there.
1357
01:12:19,596 --> 01:12:21,992
Yep. And I'm the giant panda,
1358
01:12:22,076 --> 01:12:25,431
sexually obsolete and destined
to be alone forever.
1359
01:12:25,515 --> 01:12:28,738
No. You will adapt and survive
like we all do.
1360
01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:32,002
I used to be on the cover of
Vanity Fair in a flak jacket.
1361
01:12:32,086 --> 01:12:35,179
And now I'm on the cover of Good
Housekeeping with a pavlova.
1362
01:12:35,263 --> 01:12:36,352
Cathy...
1363
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:39,137
Where's your special stuff?
1364
01:12:40,486 --> 01:12:43,013
HD TV was an extinction-level event
1365
01:12:43,097 --> 01:12:46,321
for the fearless career television presenter.
1366
01:12:46,405 --> 01:12:50,064
I'm about to usher you
into your next chapter.
1367
01:12:50,148 --> 01:12:53,328
Lip serum.
I get it on the dark web.
1368
01:12:53,412 --> 01:12:55,765
- Is it legal?
- Absolutely.
1369
01:12:55,849 --> 01:12:57,024
In Venezuela.
1370
01:12:57,808 --> 01:12:58,809
Here, take it.
1371
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:05,772
Adapt and survive.
1372
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:10,081
Adapt and survive.
1373
01:13:11,952 --> 01:13:14,523
Ooh. Something's definitely happening.
1374
01:13:14,607 --> 01:13:18,353
It's either disastrous or totally fantastic.
1375
01:13:18,437 --> 01:13:19,699
Mummy!
1376
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:23,010
Hi, sweetie.
1377
01:13:23,094 --> 01:13:24,838
Shit.
What's happening to my voice?
1378
01:13:24,922 --> 01:13:26,318
Mabel's shoes are on the wrong feet.
1379
01:13:26,402 --> 01:13:28,232
No. My feet are on the wrong legs.
1380
01:13:30,014 --> 01:13:31,975
Silly thing.
1381
01:13:32,059 --> 01:13:34,845
Mummy, something's wrong with your mouth.
1382
01:13:35,715 --> 01:13:36,806
No.
1383
01:13:36,890 --> 01:13:38,155
No, there isn't.
1384
01:13:38,239 --> 01:13:40,114
Yes, there is. Look.
1385
01:13:40,198 --> 01:13:42,072
Your lips are all funny right there.
1386
01:13:42,156 --> 01:13:44,553
Darling, don't be ridiculous.
1387
01:13:44,637 --> 01:13:47,988
All right, Mabel, let's get
these swapped over, shall we?
1388
01:13:49,076 --> 01:13:50,733
Out we pop. All right.
1389
01:13:50,817 --> 01:13:54,346
I wouldn't do that again if
I were you, Mrs Darcy.
1390
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:56,130
You looked all right to begin with.
1391
01:13:57,302 --> 01:13:58,741
All right.
1392
01:13:58,825 --> 01:14:01,483
You're trying to look younger
1393
01:14:01,567 --> 01:14:06,749
and the effects have marked similarities
to those of an elderly stroke victim.
1394
01:14:08,922 --> 01:14:11,490
You're actually drooling now.
1395
01:14:14,275 --> 01:14:15,715
Oh, dear.
1396
01:14:15,799 --> 01:14:18,631
Now, acutely aware as I am of my waiting room
1397
01:14:18,715 --> 01:14:21,677
filled to capacity with actual patients--
1398
01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,984
Not to mention the fact that
I am a gynaecologist
1399
01:14:24,068 --> 01:14:26,116
and that particular set of lips is,
1400
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:29,163
as it were, broadly speaking,
at the wrong end--
1401
01:14:29,247 --> 01:14:32,119
I am nonetheless going to
ask you the question,
1402
01:14:33,033 --> 01:14:34,951
"Bridget, are you OK?"
1403
01:14:35,035 --> 01:14:37,603
A simple yes will suffice.
1404
01:14:38,952 --> 01:14:40,301
No.
1405
01:14:42,086 --> 01:14:43,957
It's all your fault.
1406
01:15:25,738 --> 01:15:28,352
"Twat." Sorry, it's doctor's handwriting.
1407
01:15:28,436 --> 01:15:30,267
That's an A, in the middle there.
1408
01:15:30,351 --> 01:15:34,881
Now, I rather zoned out after "pyjamas",
1409
01:15:34,965 --> 01:15:38,065
but a toy boy is not the answer,
Bridget, and nor are big lips.
1410
01:15:39,143 --> 01:15:40,495
You're a widow
1411
01:15:40,579 --> 01:15:42,671
with two wonderful children who adore you.
1412
01:15:42,755 --> 01:15:44,673
You're just trying to cope with
a shitty situation.
1413
01:15:44,757 --> 01:15:46,280
Embrace the chaos.
1414
01:15:47,847 --> 01:15:50,070
That's just a simple allergic reaction to
1415
01:15:50,154 --> 01:15:53,508
hydroxymethoxyphenyl
propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran
1416
01:15:53,592 --> 01:15:57,251
in whatever infernal concoction
you've smeared on your mouth.
1417
01:15:57,335 --> 01:16:00,167
This is an antihistamine.
1418
01:16:00,251 --> 01:16:01,731
It'll work straight away.
1419
01:16:02,819 --> 01:16:04,911
It's for the lips.
1420
01:16:04,995 --> 01:16:08,041
They still haven't invented
anything for being a twat.
1421
01:16:21,011 --> 01:16:22,494
Hello.
1422
01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,144
Yes, this is Bridget.
1423
01:16:25,668 --> 01:16:27,974
Of course! Straight away.
1424
01:16:30,542 --> 01:16:31,630
Yes, yes.
1425
01:16:37,505 --> 01:16:38,594
Daniel.
1426
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:41,991
Well, by all that's holy,
1427
01:16:42,075 --> 01:16:43,903
Bridget Jones.
1428
01:16:48,821 --> 01:16:50,739
Nice of you to come, Jones.
1429
01:16:50,823 --> 01:16:53,023
If I'd known,
I'd have worn a tinier nightie.
1430
01:16:54,348 --> 01:16:55,393
What happened?
1431
01:16:56,002 --> 01:16:57,659
My heart.
1432
01:16:57,743 --> 01:16:59,226
Two massive surprises.
1433
01:16:59,310 --> 01:17:01,707
One, I have one.
Two, it murmurs.
1434
01:17:01,791 --> 01:17:04,445
They've, um, had a listen and I don't know.
1435
01:17:05,142 --> 01:17:06,625
Are you OK?
1436
01:17:06,709 --> 01:17:08,452
Well, I thought I was having a heart attack.
1437
01:17:08,536 --> 01:17:11,107
My whole life passed before my eyes.
1438
01:17:11,191 --> 01:17:12,718
You actually featured prominently, Jones.
1439
01:17:12,802 --> 01:17:14,197
- Hmm.
- All the best bits.
1440
01:17:14,281 --> 01:17:15,935
Rome. Mini-break weekend.
1441
01:17:16,849 --> 01:17:18,941
Sodomy in Sainsbury's.
1442
01:17:20,723 --> 01:17:22,815
But, uh, mainly,
1443
01:17:22,899 --> 01:17:24,817
it was just me wandering up
and down the King's Road
1444
01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:26,551
trying to twinkle at 20-year-olds.
1445
01:17:26,598 --> 01:17:28,124
Mmm.
1446
01:17:28,208 --> 01:17:33,042
Perhaps it's an opportunity
for a new beginning.
1447
01:17:33,126 --> 01:17:34,650
Brand-new Daniel.
1448
01:17:35,389 --> 01:17:36,390
Mmm.
1449
01:17:37,696 --> 01:17:40,307
I think I shall stay right here...
1450
01:17:42,048 --> 01:17:43,487
Until you agree.
1451
01:17:43,571 --> 01:17:45,721
Well that is kind of you,
Bridge, but, um...
1452
01:17:46,531 --> 01:17:48,081
They told me I don't have long.
1453
01:17:48,141 --> 01:17:50,582
- What?
- No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that.
1454
01:17:50,666 --> 01:17:52,975
Well, maybe that.
No, they, uh...
1455
01:17:53,059 --> 01:17:55,496
They're taking me for some tests in a minute.
1456
01:17:59,370 --> 01:18:03,029
The question is, would we say
I've become a fraction tragic?
1457
01:18:03,113 --> 01:18:07,120
They asked me to put down my next of kin.
1458
01:18:07,204 --> 01:18:11,774
And the only person I could think of
who might remotely care was you.
1459
01:18:13,906 --> 01:18:16,216
- That's very sweet.
- Yeah, but not deliberately.
1460
01:18:16,300 --> 01:18:18,131
The point is, Bridge, how have I arrived
1461
01:18:18,215 --> 01:18:20,568
at this point in my life with no kin?
1462
01:18:20,652 --> 01:18:23,789
How could I possibly be kinless?
1463
01:18:23,873 --> 01:18:27,053
But you're not.
You're not kinless.
1464
01:18:27,137 --> 01:18:30,404
Well, I haven't seen Enzo since he was two.
1465
01:18:30,488 --> 01:18:33,146
And he is now being happily
raised by his mother
1466
01:18:33,230 --> 01:18:36,668
and an Italian aristocrat who
wears his jumper like a shawl.
1467
01:18:39,540 --> 01:18:41,064
So, lucky you, Jones.
1468
01:18:42,543 --> 01:18:44,458
Your two, the way they look at you...
1469
01:18:46,460 --> 01:18:49,028
Just makes one realise...
1470
01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:53,467
One's own fuck-ups, really.
1471
01:18:55,208 --> 01:18:56,858
The glory of what might have been.
1472
01:19:01,649 --> 01:19:03,521
Did you know...
1473
01:19:05,131 --> 01:19:07,310
It was actually quite good
1474
01:19:07,394 --> 01:19:09,594
with Gisele at the beginning?
1475
01:19:09,657 --> 01:19:11,271
I have to face the fact...
1476
01:19:13,096 --> 01:19:16,752
...that it may have been,
Jones, love.
1477
01:19:17,535 --> 01:19:19,453
The real thing.
1478
01:19:19,537 --> 01:19:21,629
I still don't know what
she was so pissed off about.
1479
01:19:21,713 --> 01:19:23,022
You shagged her sister.
1480
01:19:23,106 --> 01:19:25,633
Once. Massive overreaction.
1481
01:19:27,588 --> 01:19:30,725
God, I love you, Daniel.
1482
01:19:30,809 --> 01:19:34,990
Despite your really quite impressive
1483
01:19:35,074 --> 01:19:38,472
lifelong dedication to total fuckwittage.
1484
01:19:38,556 --> 01:19:40,384
Yeah.
1485
01:19:41,515 --> 01:19:43,648
There's a lot I don't know.
1486
01:19:44,518 --> 01:19:45,519
An awful lot.
1487
01:19:47,304 --> 01:19:50,963
But I do know that my children
would give anything at all
1488
01:19:51,047 --> 01:19:53,789
to have just one day with their dad.
1489
01:20:02,580 --> 01:20:05,629
Time for your obs,
Mr Cleaver.
1490
01:20:05,713 --> 01:20:07,109
Oh, right.
1491
01:20:07,193 --> 01:20:09,285
And, again, there is really no need
1492
01:20:09,369 --> 01:20:11,766
for you to remove your gown.
1493
01:20:11,850 --> 01:20:12,985
Sorry.
1494
01:20:13,069 --> 01:20:14,290
Okey-doke.
1495
01:20:14,374 --> 01:20:15,770
God.
1496
01:20:15,854 --> 01:20:19,034
Then lights down on the cooking segment.
1497
01:20:19,118 --> 01:20:21,733
Why do I always have to do the cooking bits?
1498
01:20:21,817 --> 01:20:24,083
That chestnut ravioli he cooked last time
1499
01:20:24,167 --> 01:20:25,780
was the worst thing
I've ever put in my mouth.
1500
01:20:25,864 --> 01:20:27,390
I highly doubt that.
1501
01:20:27,474 --> 01:20:30,567
And then, Miranda, you cross to the stage.
1502
01:20:30,651 --> 01:20:35,050
"And now, on Better Women,
a surprise guest." Blah blah.
1503
01:20:35,134 --> 01:20:36,617
And lights!
1504
01:20:38,007 --> 01:20:39,402
♪ Yeah, I'm a fighter ♪
1505
01:20:39,486 --> 01:20:41,143
♪ And I made it through ♪
1506
01:20:41,227 --> 01:20:42,827
♪ Solid gold survivor
That's... ♪
1507
01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:44,581
Hold it!
1508
01:20:44,665 --> 01:20:48,455
Linus, we've got to practise
following her with the lights.
1509
01:20:48,539 --> 01:20:50,326
So, uh...
1510
01:20:50,410 --> 01:20:53,199
Maybe you could dance a bit?
Yeah?
1511
01:20:53,283 --> 01:20:55,636
- Uh...
- OK. Go, Linus!
1512
01:20:57,417 --> 01:20:59,031
♪ So give me light ♪
1513
01:20:59,115 --> 01:21:01,163
♪ You've got to find
Your own road... ♪
1514
01:21:01,247 --> 01:21:04,514
Can you hold that, please? See,
you've got to, you know, go for it.
1515
01:21:04,598 --> 01:21:05,777
♪ Help me see... ♪
1516
01:21:05,861 --> 01:21:07,866
Cause she's going to, you know...
1517
01:21:07,950 --> 01:21:09,998
♪ And no more light
And no more love ♪
1518
01:21:10,082 --> 01:21:11,957
♪ It's not over... ♪
1519
01:21:12,041 --> 01:21:14,133
♪ It's not over ♪
1520
01:21:14,217 --> 01:21:16,004
♪ I won't save you when
I'm weak ♪
1521
01:21:16,088 --> 01:21:17,789
♪ Only got so much left
To give ♪
1522
01:21:17,873 --> 01:21:20,356
♪ It's not over ♪
1523
01:21:20,440 --> 01:21:21,531
♪ It's not over ♪
1524
01:21:21,615 --> 01:21:23,272
♪ Till I'm done... ♪
1525
01:21:25,750 --> 01:21:27,407
♪ Till I'm done ♪
1526
01:21:28,753 --> 01:21:30,537
- See, Linus?
- Hi, B.
1527
01:21:32,278 --> 01:21:33,845
Oh, shit.
1528
01:21:35,629 --> 01:21:36,808
Brought a pie.
1529
01:21:39,720 --> 01:21:42,114
Sorry, they just told me to come in.
1530
01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:46,513
You disappeared, Roxster.
1531
01:21:46,597 --> 01:21:47,598
I know.
1532
01:21:48,294 --> 01:21:49,339
I know.
1533
01:21:52,733 --> 01:21:54,474
I panicked.
1534
01:21:56,259 --> 01:21:58,565
I got-- I got scared, and I ran.
1535
01:21:59,740 --> 01:22:01,525
But I want this.
1536
01:22:02,613 --> 01:22:03,657
You.
1537
01:22:05,224 --> 01:22:08,619
I thought I wasn't ready, but I am.
1538
01:22:09,446 --> 01:22:11,407
I thought I...
1539
01:22:11,491 --> 01:22:13,540
I don't know, wanted somebody my own age,
1540
01:22:13,624 --> 01:22:15,974
but I don't.
1541
01:22:20,457 --> 01:22:22,111
I love you, Bridget.
1542
01:22:25,853 --> 01:22:27,510
I'm ready for all of it.
1543
01:22:27,594 --> 01:22:29,640
For Billy and Mabel.
1544
01:22:30,597 --> 01:22:31,906
And burnt lasagne.
1545
01:22:31,990 --> 01:22:34,300
And slime.
1546
01:22:34,384 --> 01:22:36,429
And all of it.
1547
01:22:38,736 --> 01:22:40,536
I promise you,
I am ready.
1548
01:22:43,045 --> 01:22:45,177
I'm not sure that matters.
1549
01:22:48,354 --> 01:22:50,446
What do you mean?
I don't-- I don't understand.
1550
01:22:50,530 --> 01:22:53,142
You're so lovely,
1551
01:22:54,795 --> 01:22:56,800
and you're going to be
1552
01:22:56,884 --> 01:23:00,195
a brilliant partner and dad.
1553
01:23:00,279 --> 01:23:01,718
And you're going to discover
1554
01:23:01,802 --> 01:23:04,765
all sorts of garbage that
will change the world.
1555
01:23:04,849 --> 01:23:06,419
That's not how it works.
1556
01:23:06,503 --> 01:23:08,116
But not with me.
1557
01:23:13,771 --> 01:23:15,816
I wish I had a time machine too.
1558
01:23:17,818 --> 01:23:19,472
So you could catch up.
1559
01:23:23,389 --> 01:23:25,087
Are you-- Are you sure?
1560
01:23:27,437 --> 01:23:28,612
I am.
1561
01:23:42,669 --> 01:23:44,219
I'll keep the pie, if that's OK.
1562
01:23:50,199 --> 01:23:51,287
Goodbye, Bridget.
1563
01:24:03,473 --> 01:24:05,260
Parents' evening.
1564
01:24:05,344 --> 01:24:08,478
Is there a worse night for the single parent?
1565
01:24:09,653 --> 01:24:11,179
They call it parents' evening
1566
01:24:11,263 --> 01:24:13,486
as if it's a plural.
1567
01:24:13,570 --> 01:24:16,660
As if it's a given that there's two of us.
1568
01:24:18,270 --> 01:24:21,363
Oh, well. Chin up and onward.
1569
01:24:21,447 --> 01:24:22,883
Mrs Darcy.
1570
01:24:24,537 --> 01:24:26,281
It's good to see you.
1571
01:24:26,365 --> 01:24:28,324
Good to be back in the studio.
1572
01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:32,632
The great fruit fly debate.
1573
01:24:33,851 --> 01:24:35,029
Uh...
1574
01:24:35,113 --> 01:24:36,422
Small secret.
1575
01:24:36,506 --> 01:24:38,250
It was about 50 times more interesting
1576
01:24:38,334 --> 01:24:40,382
than that bloody thoracic surgeon.
1577
01:24:40,466 --> 01:24:42,210
And don't get me started on the physicist.
1578
01:24:42,294 --> 01:24:45,648
I mean, they'll hand out Nobels
to anyone these days.
1579
01:24:45,732 --> 01:24:47,868
Oh, yeah.
1580
01:24:47,952 --> 01:24:51,045
So, uh, Billy.
1581
01:24:51,129 --> 01:24:53,656
Well, he's, um...
He's an excellent cricketer.
1582
01:24:53,740 --> 01:24:54,875
- Mm-hmm.
- You know,
1583
01:24:54,959 --> 01:24:56,703
he's a very good young scientist.
1584
01:24:56,787 --> 01:24:58,792
He's... he's got a good brain.
1585
01:24:58,876 --> 01:25:03,275
He's methodical, his experiments
are well drawn up.
1586
01:25:03,359 --> 01:25:05,320
Look, I mean, it's just, uh...
1587
01:25:05,404 --> 01:25:07,319
It's excellent work all round.
1588
01:25:09,016 --> 01:25:12,194
- Good.
- It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm...
1589
01:25:13,412 --> 01:25:14,982
I'm a...
1590
01:25:15,066 --> 01:25:17,071
I'm a bit concerned about him.
1591
01:25:17,155 --> 01:25:20,292
Concerned? Concerned how?
What's he done?
1592
01:25:20,376 --> 01:25:22,946
No, he hasn't done anything.
He's, um...
1593
01:25:23,030 --> 01:25:24,641
He's just been a bit, uh...
1594
01:25:25,946 --> 01:25:27,209
Withdrawn.
1595
01:25:28,079 --> 01:25:29,388
Why is he withdrawn?
1596
01:25:29,472 --> 01:25:31,564
Everything's been all right at home?
1597
01:25:31,648 --> 01:25:34,306
Yes, yes. It's all fine.
1598
01:25:34,390 --> 01:25:36,390
Everything OK with your, um...
1599
01:25:38,655 --> 01:25:39,963
Hairdresser?
1600
01:25:40,047 --> 01:25:43,097
Him? No, but-but yes. Uh...
1601
01:25:43,181 --> 01:25:45,056
He's withdrawn?
1602
01:25:45,140 --> 01:25:48,059
Well, I don't mean to alarm you.
1603
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:51,497
- Sorry about that. Yep, exactly.
- Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry.
1604
01:25:51,581 --> 01:25:54,108
We're a couple of minutes early,
but these sessions are so short.
1605
01:25:54,192 --> 01:25:56,719
And I have more than a few questions for you.
1606
01:25:56,803 --> 01:25:58,069
You don't mind, do you, Bridget?
1607
01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:00,375
We do have the two boys, so...
1608
01:26:00,459 --> 01:26:03,419
Not at all. No. That's...
It's fine.
1609
01:26:05,725 --> 01:26:08,383
- Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute.
- Thank you.
1610
01:26:08,467 --> 01:26:11,167
Right.
I've got parents' evening.
1611
01:26:32,056 --> 01:26:33,843
Mark Darcy, the leading
1612
01:26:33,927 --> 01:26:36,585
international humanitarian rights lawyer,
1613
01:26:36,669 --> 01:26:39,588
was killed this morning in
the Darfur region in Sudan.
1614
01:26:39,672 --> 01:26:42,122
...a land mine.
The 55-year-old was in
1615
01:26:42,153 --> 01:26:44,506
the war-torn region after joining
international efforts...
1616
01:26:44,590 --> 01:26:46,856
Mr Darcy was a leading international
figure in human rights
1617
01:26:46,940 --> 01:26:48,380
and crisis resolution...
1618
01:26:48,464 --> 01:26:50,033
...gained global recognition
1619
01:26:50,117 --> 01:26:52,427
with the Kafir Aghani
and Eleanor Heaney case,
1620
01:26:52,511 --> 01:26:53,950
which, of course, he won.
1621
01:26:54,034 --> 01:26:56,344
He leaves behind his wife,
Bridget Jones,
1622
01:26:56,428 --> 01:26:59,304
and their two young children,
Billy and Mabel.
1623
01:26:59,388 --> 01:27:02,869
More on this story as we get it.
1624
01:27:59,709 --> 01:28:01,259
Dearest darling Mark,
1625
01:28:02,929 --> 01:28:05,196
it's your birthday on Sunday, and...
1626
01:28:06,977 --> 01:28:10,285
...I'm just no good at doing this on my own.
1627
01:28:12,504 --> 01:28:14,596
I'm sorry
I'm such a bad mother.
1628
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:18,339
I'm sorry I got caught up
with a callow toy boy.
1629
01:28:18,423 --> 01:28:22,079
I'm sorry I'm late for school
and that Billy's withdrawn.
1630
01:28:23,863 --> 01:28:25,735
They're growing up without you.
1631
01:28:27,214 --> 01:28:28,697
How is Billy going to understand
1632
01:28:28,781 --> 01:28:31,961
how to be a man without his father?
1633
01:28:32,045 --> 01:28:34,050
How is Mabel going to live her life
1634
01:28:34,134 --> 01:28:36,049
having never really known you at all?
1635
01:28:37,442 --> 01:28:39,186
Please forgive me for being upset
1636
01:28:39,270 --> 01:28:42,755
about anything which
isn't about not having you.
1637
01:28:42,839 --> 01:28:45,801
Please help me find a way to do this
1638
01:28:45,885 --> 01:28:49,976
without feeling like I'm ruining the
most important part of my life.
1639
01:28:52,501 --> 01:28:54,981
The only part that still has you in it.
1640
01:29:09,953 --> 01:29:13,438
I have to put down how many tickets
we need for my Christmas concert.
1641
01:29:13,522 --> 01:29:15,657
- Mm-hmm.
- Should I put down two? For you and Mabel?
1642
01:29:15,741 --> 01:29:16,789
Put three.
1643
01:29:16,873 --> 01:29:20,096
Mabel, me and Chloe.
1644
01:29:20,180 --> 01:29:22,182
OK. Three.
1645
01:29:23,053 --> 01:29:24,013
Finished.
1646
01:29:24,097 --> 01:29:25,185
Me too.
1647
01:29:34,673 --> 01:29:36,632
Daddy will love these.
1648
01:29:37,328 --> 01:29:38,637
They're perfect.
1649
01:29:38,721 --> 01:29:39,942
Yes.
1650
01:29:40,026 --> 01:29:41,335
Did you write one, Mummy?
1651
01:29:41,419 --> 01:29:42,815
I did.
1652
01:29:42,899 --> 01:29:44,860
Tomorrow, can we post them to Daddy?
1653
01:29:44,944 --> 01:29:46,206
Of course we can.
1654
01:29:54,084 --> 01:29:56,869
And Mark's birthday came as it always did...
1655
01:29:59,045 --> 01:30:03,488
Like all the celebrations,
Christmases and anniversaries.
1656
01:30:03,572 --> 01:30:06,357
All the love and all the pain.
1657
01:30:13,016 --> 01:30:15,105
OK. Ready?
1658
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:17,499
On three.
1659
01:30:18,587 --> 01:30:21,938
One, two...
1660
01:30:29,641 --> 01:30:31,907
What am I going to do when
I get to--
1661
01:30:31,991 --> 01:30:33,340
...Three.
1662
01:31:17,646 --> 01:31:20,692
What I have is what
I love most in the world.
1663
01:31:21,563 --> 01:31:23,437
Billy and Mabel.
1664
01:31:23,521 --> 01:31:25,349
Just the three of us.
1665
01:31:34,445 --> 01:31:36,319
♪ Whoo! ♪
1666
01:31:36,403 --> 01:31:38,496
- Mr Walliker.
- Mrs Darcy.
1667
01:31:38,580 --> 01:31:40,759
♪ Darling, you got to let me
Know... ♪
1668
01:31:40,843 --> 01:31:42,325
Billy!
1669
01:31:42,409 --> 01:31:44,284
- Hello!
- Hello!
1670
01:31:44,368 --> 01:31:45,369
Ready?
1671
01:31:47,197 --> 01:31:50,551
♪ If you say that you are mine ♪
1672
01:31:50,635 --> 01:31:53,595
♪ I'll be here till the end
Of time ♪
1673
01:31:55,422 --> 01:31:59,908
♪ So you got to let me know ♪
1674
01:31:59,992 --> 01:32:02,386
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go? ♪
1675
01:32:04,083 --> 01:32:06,695
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go now? ♪
1676
01:32:08,348 --> 01:32:11,047
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go now? ♪
1677
01:32:12,701 --> 01:32:16,577
♪ If I go
There will be trouble ♪
1678
01:32:16,661 --> 01:32:20,581
♪ And if I stay
It will be double ♪
1679
01:32:20,665 --> 01:32:25,107
♪ So you gotta let me know ♪
1680
01:32:25,191 --> 01:32:28,067
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go? ♪
1681
01:32:28,151 --> 01:32:29,329
Have a good walk, then.
1682
01:32:29,413 --> 01:32:30,463
Thank you.
1683
01:32:30,501 --> 01:32:32,634
Bye.
1684
01:32:33,504 --> 01:32:34,549
All right, come in.
1685
01:32:35,332 --> 01:32:36,333
Now...
1686
01:32:38,640 --> 01:32:42,600
What this is not is a "walk."
1687
01:32:43,645 --> 01:32:45,606
We are about to embark as a team
1688
01:32:45,690 --> 01:32:48,348
on an orienteering adventure.
1689
01:32:48,432 --> 01:32:50,982
- So do you each have your compasses?
- Yes!
1690
01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:53,353
- Do you each have your maps?
- Yes!
1691
01:32:53,437 --> 01:32:55,877
Right then, you know your groups.
Hands up, Otters!
1692
01:32:55,961 --> 01:33:00,012
You'll go along with Mr Collins
and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha.
1693
01:33:00,096 --> 01:33:03,842
Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You've drawn
the short straw, I'm afraid.
1694
01:33:03,926 --> 01:33:05,452
You'll be joining me and the Ospreys.
1695
01:33:05,536 --> 01:33:08,455
Now, this is very important.
1696
01:33:08,539 --> 01:33:12,804
Remember to open your eyes and look around.
1697
01:33:13,805 --> 01:33:14,983
This is one of the most
1698
01:33:15,067 --> 01:33:17,504
beautiful places on earth.
1699
01:33:19,289 --> 01:33:20,641
Enjoy it.
1700
01:33:20,725 --> 01:33:21,813
Let's go.
1701
01:33:23,989 --> 01:33:27,561
- You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy?
- Absolutely!
1702
01:33:27,645 --> 01:33:29,128
I was a Queen's Guide.
1703
01:33:29,212 --> 01:33:32,044
Got my Pioneer badge.
1704
01:33:32,128 --> 01:33:35,438
I can rope, knot, splice and lash.
1705
01:33:35,522 --> 01:33:37,963
If you need anything tied up,
1706
01:33:38,047 --> 01:33:40,356
I'm your girl.
1707
01:33:40,440 --> 01:33:43,390
Right then.
Bring up the rear.
1708
01:33:44,836 --> 01:33:47,450
Yes! Bringing up the rear!
1709
01:33:47,534 --> 01:33:48,974
Up!
1710
01:33:49,058 --> 01:33:50,758
We're gonna see much more water than that.
1711
01:33:50,842 --> 01:33:51,942
Up the rear!
1712
01:33:53,932 --> 01:33:55,067
Yep.
1713
01:33:55,151 --> 01:33:56,848
Make sure everybody's with us.
1714
01:34:15,998 --> 01:34:18,698
You can see the second waterfall, can't you?
1715
01:34:21,090 --> 01:34:23,048
Well, those two are together.
1716
01:34:34,973 --> 01:34:35,974
Coming!
1717
01:34:39,761 --> 01:34:41,361
Hurry along. Come on!
1718
01:34:48,508 --> 01:34:50,383
- Give me your hand.
- Wow. So cool.
1719
01:34:50,467 --> 01:34:51,555
OK.
1720
01:34:53,688 --> 01:34:54,689
Right.
1721
01:34:55,646 --> 01:34:57,216
Is there a Wi-Fi password?
1722
01:34:57,300 --> 01:34:58,850
Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock.
1723
01:34:58,867 --> 01:35:00,480
All right, take this tarp
1724
01:35:00,564 --> 01:35:02,264
and spread it out on the floor
over there, all right?
1725
01:35:02,348 --> 01:35:03,875
Come on.
1726
01:35:03,959 --> 01:35:06,396
It's all right.
It's dry.
1727
01:35:09,355 --> 01:35:12,231
Mrs Darcy, could you take that wheelbarrow,
1728
01:35:12,315 --> 01:35:14,146
pick up some firewood
for when the rain stops?
1729
01:35:14,230 --> 01:35:15,887
Yep.
1730
01:35:15,971 --> 01:35:18,721
All right, everyone.
Do your best to get dry.
1731
01:35:21,977 --> 01:35:24,199
Ding-fucking-dong.
1732
01:35:24,283 --> 01:35:25,589
Whenever you're ready.
1733
01:35:36,208 --> 01:35:38,558
Looks like we'll be here for a while.
1734
01:35:49,831 --> 01:35:51,923
It really is absolutely disgusting.
1735
01:35:52,007 --> 01:35:54,447
Burnt to a crisp.
1736
01:35:54,531 --> 01:35:56,449
I think you'll find it's a brûlée.
1737
01:36:00,102 --> 01:36:01,106
Come on, then.
1738
01:36:01,190 --> 01:36:02,673
Off to Bedfordshire.
1739
01:36:02,757 --> 01:36:04,675
Goodnight, Mr Walliker.
1740
01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:06,807
- Here we are.
- Sleep well, team.
1741
01:36:06,891 --> 01:36:09,070
- Well done today.
- Thank you.
1742
01:36:09,154 --> 01:36:10,765
Okay. Night night.
1743
01:36:12,157 --> 01:36:13,202
Goodnight.
1744
01:36:21,993 --> 01:36:24,172
Mission accomplished.
1745
01:36:24,256 --> 01:36:27,393
One barnful of sleeping children.
1746
01:36:27,477 --> 01:36:30,701
Don't get me wrong, I'm quite impressed
by your resourcefulness,
1747
01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:32,441
but who travels to the Lake District
1748
01:36:32,525 --> 01:36:34,661
with a backpack full of marshmallows?
1749
01:36:34,745 --> 01:36:37,795
All parents know the marshmallow
1750
01:36:37,879 --> 01:36:40,798
is an essential tool,
Mr Walliker.
1751
01:36:45,451 --> 01:36:47,413
Do you have children?
1752
01:36:47,497 --> 01:36:49,847
Uh, no. No, no,
I never did any of that.
1753
01:36:51,066 --> 01:36:52,940
But, um...
1754
01:36:53,024 --> 01:36:54,637
It's funny.
In the back of your mind,
1755
01:36:54,721 --> 01:36:56,901
you think it might happen, and--
1756
01:36:56,985 --> 01:36:58,816
But, you know, one day,
1757
01:36:58,900 --> 01:37:01,732
you're preparing a test for a periodic table...
1758
01:37:01,816 --> 01:37:06,214
...and you realise
it's the 27th one you've set,
1759
01:37:06,298 --> 01:37:08,477
and there's just never been time
1760
01:37:08,561 --> 01:37:10,871
to really think about having anything like a...
1761
01:37:10,955 --> 01:37:12,739
Like a family in between.
1762
01:37:16,918 --> 01:37:17,962
But it's good.
1763
01:37:19,137 --> 01:37:20,925
It's good. I, uh...
1764
01:37:21,009 --> 01:37:22,314
Well, it suits me.
1765
01:37:23,968 --> 01:37:24,926
Mmm.
1766
01:37:26,405 --> 01:37:27,670
I see it does.
1767
01:37:31,019 --> 01:37:32,411
I mean, look at that.
1768
01:37:36,067 --> 01:37:37,112
All of it.
1769
01:37:39,984 --> 01:37:44,859
You asked me where's
the wonder and the magic.
1770
01:37:46,948 --> 01:37:48,297
It's a good question.
1771
01:37:50,603 --> 01:37:51,866
I think it's here.
1772
01:37:53,345 --> 01:37:56,177
You don't believe in magic,
Mr Walliker.
1773
01:37:56,261 --> 01:37:57,436
No.
1774
01:37:58,829 --> 01:38:00,309
Well, I've been thinking.
1775
01:38:11,581 --> 01:38:12,672
Mummy?
1776
01:38:12,756 --> 01:38:14,413
Atticus is really frightened.
1777
01:38:14,497 --> 01:38:17,416
He says his mum sings Puccini
to him when he's scared.
1778
01:38:17,500 --> 01:38:21,768
Well, he might have to settle
for some early Take That,
1779
01:38:21,852 --> 01:38:24,376
but I'll see what I can do, okay?
1780
01:38:25,464 --> 01:38:26,947
Mr Walliker,
1781
01:38:27,031 --> 01:38:29,167
do you mind if I sit here for a minute?
1782
01:38:29,251 --> 01:38:30,861
Of course. Sit down.
1783
01:38:46,137 --> 01:38:48,387
- Is there anything you want to--
- It's just...
1784
01:38:49,140 --> 01:38:50,533
What if I forget him?
1785
01:38:51,708 --> 01:38:53,231
I don't wanna forget him.
1786
01:38:54,363 --> 01:38:55,930
But what if I do?
1787
01:39:02,719 --> 01:39:04,851
Let me tell you this, Billy, um...
1788
01:39:06,766 --> 01:39:10,640
Your dad is everywhere.
1789
01:39:12,642 --> 01:39:13,817
He's everywhere.
1790
01:39:14,470 --> 01:39:15,645
Right now...
1791
01:39:17,429 --> 01:39:19,173
In this moment.
1792
01:39:19,257 --> 01:39:21,390
And that's a scientific fact.
1793
01:39:22,869 --> 01:39:26,830
Energy is only transferred.
1794
01:39:27,874 --> 01:39:29,267
It can never be destroyed.
1795
01:39:30,181 --> 01:39:32,012
And more importantly,
1796
01:39:32,096 --> 01:39:34,055
your father is in you.
1797
01:39:36,274 --> 01:39:37,406
And Mabel.
1798
01:39:43,238 --> 01:39:44,588
Billy, tell me something...
1799
01:39:47,329 --> 01:39:48,373
One thing...
1800
01:39:49,635 --> 01:39:51,115
That you remember best
1801
01:39:51,942 --> 01:39:53,509
about your dad.
1802
01:40:04,302 --> 01:40:08,483
♪ Another Christmas
Is around the corner ♪
1803
01:40:08,567 --> 01:40:12,923
♪ And I can feel us, darling
Getting closer ♪
1804
01:40:13,007 --> 01:40:16,839
♪ It's coming down the road
And stopping it now ♪
1805
01:40:16,923 --> 01:40:20,626
♪ Stopping it now
Is impossible... ♪
1806
01:40:20,710 --> 01:40:21,711
Can we?
1807
01:40:22,799 --> 01:40:24,238
- May we.
- Yes.
1808
01:40:24,322 --> 01:40:27,154
♪ I built a snowman out
The back ♪
1809
01:40:27,238 --> 01:40:31,854
♪ It came alive And flew me
Round this sleepy town ♪
1810
01:40:31,938 --> 01:40:34,857
♪ I put an old scarf round
Its neck... ♪
1811
01:40:34,941 --> 01:40:36,468
Careful!
1812
01:40:36,552 --> 01:40:37,860
♪ And every time
You kiss me... ♪
1813
01:40:37,944 --> 01:40:38,994
Chop-chop.
1814
01:40:39,076 --> 01:40:40,428
One, two. One, two.
1815
01:40:40,512 --> 01:40:42,082
May I have your hot chocolate?
1816
01:40:42,166 --> 01:40:44,737
- No. No! Marshmallows!
- Yes. Yes.
1817
01:40:44,821 --> 01:40:47,958
Mabel, why don't I take you
to your seat? Come on.
1818
01:40:48,042 --> 01:40:49,568
Is that all right?
1819
01:40:50,914 --> 01:40:53,137
- Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy.
- No.
1820
01:40:53,221 --> 01:40:54,529
Show's starting.
1821
01:40:54,613 --> 01:40:56,749
Yes, of course.
1822
01:41:10,368 --> 01:41:12,243
- That sounds fantastic.
- Yeah.
1823
01:41:12,327 --> 01:41:13,940
I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00.
1824
01:41:14,024 --> 01:41:16,424
Oh, for God's sake, Victor.
1825
01:41:16,461 --> 01:41:18,202
Fucking prick.
1826
01:41:22,946 --> 01:41:26,123
Bravo! Bravo.
1827
01:41:30,910 --> 01:41:33,560
Thank you, Eros and Atticus
Soltani-Watkins.
1828
01:41:34,914 --> 01:41:37,181
Now, although it's not on the programme,
1829
01:41:37,265 --> 01:41:39,922
we do have one--
One more song.
1830
01:41:40,006 --> 01:41:44,057
Um, I happen to know it means
a lot to our singer.
1831
01:41:44,141 --> 01:41:48,189
And, um... well, this is his
first-ever solo performance,
1832
01:41:49,538 --> 01:41:51,235
and I know he'll do himself proud.
1833
01:42:22,919 --> 01:42:27,318
♪ I'd do anything ♪
1834
01:42:27,402 --> 01:42:32,236
♪ For you, dear, anything ♪
1835
01:42:32,320 --> 01:42:37,197
♪ For you mean everything ♪
1836
01:42:37,281 --> 01:42:41,158
♪ To me ♪
1837
01:42:41,242 --> 01:42:42,985
♪ I know that ♪
1838
01:42:43,069 --> 01:42:46,946
♪ I'd go anywhere ♪
1839
01:42:47,030 --> 01:42:52,125
♪ For your smile, anywhere ♪
1840
01:42:52,209 --> 01:42:55,041
♪ For your smile ♪
1841
01:42:55,125 --> 01:43:01,221
♪ Everywhere I'd see ♪
1842
01:43:01,305 --> 01:43:04,224
♪ Would you climb a hill? ♪
1843
01:43:04,308 --> 01:43:05,908
♪ Anything ♪
1844
01:43:05,962 --> 01:43:10,578
♪ Wear a daffodil?
Anything ♪
1845
01:43:10,662 --> 01:43:14,930
♪ Leave me all your will?
Anything ♪
1846
01:43:15,014 --> 01:43:18,456
♪ Even fight my Bill? ♪
1847
01:43:18,540 --> 01:43:20,371
♪ What? Fisticuffs? ♪
1848
01:43:20,455 --> 01:43:24,505
♪ I'd risk everything ♪
1849
01:43:24,589 --> 01:43:29,031
♪ For one kiss, everything ♪
1850
01:43:29,115 --> 01:43:33,949
♪ Yes, I'd do anything ♪
1851
01:43:34,033 --> 01:43:36,300
♪ Anything ♪
1852
01:43:36,384 --> 01:43:41,522
♪ For you ♪
1853
01:43:54,271 --> 01:43:55,316
Go, Billy!
1854
01:44:00,016 --> 01:44:01,017
Bravo!
1855
01:44:35,878 --> 01:44:37,796
Oh, my darling.
1856
01:44:40,230 --> 01:44:43,193
Daddy would be so proud of you.
1857
01:44:43,277 --> 01:44:44,321
I know.
1858
01:44:46,845 --> 01:44:48,589
Well done, Billy. You nailed it.
1859
01:44:48,673 --> 01:44:50,809
- Were you surprised, Mum?
- Yes.
1860
01:44:50,893 --> 01:44:52,898
- Genius.
- Up top.
1861
01:44:54,984 --> 01:44:57,642
- So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram?
- Yes.
1862
01:44:57,726 --> 01:44:59,644
- And did you bring my--
- Yes.
1863
01:44:59,728 --> 01:45:01,773
Bikram! Nintendo!
1864
01:45:03,645 --> 01:45:06,390
Mr Walliker, Billy was...
1865
01:45:06,474 --> 01:45:08,696
The whole thing was...
1866
01:45:08,780 --> 01:45:11,873
- It was--
- It was magic, Mrs Darcy.
1867
01:45:11,957 --> 01:45:13,875
No, it wasn't.
1868
01:45:13,959 --> 01:45:15,877
What you've done for Billy...
1869
01:45:17,398 --> 01:45:19,925
People talk about moving on like it means,
1870
01:45:20,009 --> 01:45:22,319
you know, leaving something behind,
1871
01:45:22,403 --> 01:45:24,538
you know, leaving someone you love behind,
1872
01:45:24,622 --> 01:45:27,062
but perhaps it's more that suddenly you see
1873
01:45:27,146 --> 01:45:30,457
you can live at the same time
as all the things you've lost,
1874
01:45:30,541 --> 01:45:34,809
and that you can be happy even without them.
1875
01:45:34,893 --> 01:45:37,551
And tonight,
I saw my son up there
1876
01:45:37,635 --> 01:45:41,207
and I understood for
the first time in four years
1877
01:45:41,291 --> 01:45:43,383
that he's going to be okay.
1878
01:45:43,467 --> 01:45:45,516
And so, we're going to be okay.
1879
01:45:45,600 --> 01:45:47,213
And you did that, Mr Walliker.
1880
01:45:47,297 --> 01:45:48,690
It wasn't magic.
1881
01:45:49,734 --> 01:45:51,609
It was you.
1882
01:45:51,693 --> 01:45:56,178
So, I'll overlook your tendency
to be a little aloof--
1883
01:45:56,262 --> 01:45:58,311
Some might call it condescending.
1884
01:45:58,395 --> 01:46:00,139
Supercilious is a good word
1885
01:46:00,223 --> 01:46:03,966
and you probably don't hear it
enough, but the point is...
1886
01:46:07,099 --> 01:46:08,318
Thank you.
1887
01:46:10,407 --> 01:46:11,607
Mr Walliker?
1888
01:46:13,323 --> 01:46:15,763
We're going to
The Spaniards for a drink.
1889
01:46:15,847 --> 01:46:19,245
Um, and if you wanted to come,
1890
01:46:19,329 --> 01:46:21,987
well, we'd be there
1891
01:46:22,071 --> 01:46:26,470
because that's where we'll be.
1892
01:46:26,554 --> 01:46:29,516
Can't be taught. Can't be taught.
It was unbelievable.
1893
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:31,649
- Mrs Darcy.
- The flautists, an absolute triumph.
1894
01:46:31,733 --> 01:46:33,868
One of the best
Christmas shows I've ever seen.
1895
01:46:33,952 --> 01:46:36,218
Christmas shows don't get much better
than that. Extraordinary.
1896
01:46:36,302 --> 01:46:38,402
No, it doesn't.
Don't look at me like that.
1897
01:46:38,435 --> 01:46:40,135
- Billy! How did it go?
- Billy!
1898
01:46:40,219 --> 01:46:41,485
- I did a solo.
- Oh!
1899
01:46:41,569 --> 01:46:42,877
Congratulations.
1900
01:46:42,961 --> 01:46:44,879
Come here. Have a squidge.
1901
01:46:44,963 --> 01:46:46,968
He was brilliant.
1902
01:46:47,052 --> 01:46:48,840
- Hello, Mabel. How are you?
- Well done. I bet you were.
1903
01:46:48,924 --> 01:46:50,755
- Chloe has a video.
- You look lovely.
1904
01:46:50,839 --> 01:46:52,191
- There's a video?
- A video?
1905
01:46:52,275 --> 01:46:53,537
Chloe? Video?
1906
01:46:55,060 --> 01:46:56,456
Congratulations.
1907
01:46:56,540 --> 01:46:58,066
Hi. Uh, four, uh...
1908
01:46:58,150 --> 01:47:00,155
Large glasses of white wine, please.
1909
01:47:00,239 --> 01:47:01,679
Wine. Wine.
1910
01:47:01,763 --> 01:47:03,681
Oh, house white. Party petrol.
1911
01:47:03,765 --> 01:47:06,379
- Bikram's here!
- Your wine, ladies.
1912
01:47:06,463 --> 01:47:09,426
- What are you doing down there?
- Nothing.
1913
01:47:09,510 --> 01:47:11,602
- Well, there we go.
- Congratulations, darling.
1914
01:47:11,686 --> 01:47:13,560
- To Billy.
- He was wonderful. Billy.
1915
01:47:13,644 --> 01:47:15,780
- Absolutely wonderful.
- Yes.
1916
01:47:15,864 --> 01:47:19,044
But I can tell you, I...
I knew from his glow it was a triumph.
1917
01:47:19,128 --> 01:47:20,785
No, honestly.
1918
01:47:20,869 --> 01:47:22,830
I mean, once you've tasted success...
1919
01:47:25,090 --> 01:47:26,834
You had literally one song, Tom.
1920
01:47:26,918 --> 01:47:29,228
Yes, you know, my mother always says
1921
01:47:29,312 --> 01:47:31,839
if you've got nothing nice
to say, then shut the fuck up.
1922
01:47:31,923 --> 01:47:33,624
Your mother's right, so shut the fuck up.
1923
01:47:33,708 --> 01:47:35,626
We should never shut the fuck up.
1924
01:47:35,710 --> 01:47:38,010
Stop telling everyone else
to shut the fuck up.
1925
01:47:38,016 --> 01:47:39,934
We can, yes.
1926
01:47:42,934 --> 01:47:45,375
- No. Come on.
- Good overtaking.
1927
01:47:45,459 --> 01:47:47,115
No, I didn't. That was him.
1928
01:47:47,199 --> 01:47:49,027
Mum. That way.
1929
01:47:56,034 --> 01:47:57,340
Mr Walliker!
1930
01:47:59,124 --> 01:48:00,346
Aren't you coming in?
1931
01:48:00,430 --> 01:48:02,348
Well, actually, I was. I...
1932
01:48:02,432 --> 01:48:04,219
I wanted to say something to you,
1933
01:48:04,303 --> 01:48:05,917
but it's the wrong time.
1934
01:48:06,001 --> 01:48:08,093
You're there with everyone, and...
1935
01:48:08,177 --> 01:48:10,835
I'm better with people about four foot tall.
1936
01:48:10,919 --> 01:48:14,531
Four'1". That's my sweet spot,
as it turns out, so...
1937
01:48:15,837 --> 01:48:17,447
Where are you going?
1938
01:48:22,539 --> 01:48:25,153
Well, look, I really just wanted
to discuss Newton.
1939
01:48:25,237 --> 01:48:26,938
Newton?
1940
01:48:27,022 --> 01:48:29,984
I mean, we already covered
Newton's second law, gravity,
1941
01:48:30,068 --> 01:48:32,668
in the tree when you were
pretending not to be stuck.
1942
01:48:32,680 --> 01:48:36,382
But the one that's always fascinated
me isn't the second law.
1943
01:48:36,466 --> 01:48:39,516
I mean, any idiot can see that
an apple's gonna fall down.
1944
01:48:39,600 --> 01:48:41,000
What's it gonna do, fall up?
1945
01:48:41,036 --> 01:48:43,041
It's a hopelessly overrated law, the second.
1946
01:48:43,125 --> 01:48:46,261
No, the one that's always
interested me is the third law.
1947
01:48:46,345 --> 01:48:47,785
You'll know what that is.
1948
01:48:47,869 --> 01:48:49,221
Yes.
1949
01:48:49,305 --> 01:48:52,006
Of course. But go on.
1950
01:48:52,090 --> 01:48:55,706
For every action, there's an
equal and opposite reaction.
1951
01:48:55,790 --> 01:48:57,838
It's a fundamental law of our universe.
1952
01:48:57,922 --> 01:49:00,406
It's, uh... It's an inescapable
fact of our existence,
1953
01:49:00,490 --> 01:49:02,536
and I was coming to say that you are...
1954
01:49:03,667 --> 01:49:06,540
This force, Mrs Darcy...
1955
01:49:07,845 --> 01:49:08,846
To me.
1956
01:49:10,892 --> 01:49:14,376
Equal and... opposite.
1957
01:49:14,460 --> 01:49:18,900
And just as Newton predicted,
it's irresistible.
1958
01:49:21,380 --> 01:49:22,381
I see it.
1959
01:49:24,645 --> 01:49:27,128
Right now, just standing here,
I feel it,
1960
01:49:27,212 --> 01:49:30,567
and it's as real to me as the things
I loved when I was a boy
1961
01:49:30,651 --> 01:49:32,656
and first started looking at the world.
1962
01:49:32,740 --> 01:49:35,223
You see, it's not really order
1963
01:49:35,307 --> 01:49:38,618
that we science people
fall in love with, Mrs Darcy,
1964
01:49:38,702 --> 01:49:40,617
it's the beauty in things.
1965
01:49:43,359 --> 01:49:44,578
The beauty,
1966
01:49:45,404 --> 01:49:46,754
to be specific...
1967
01:49:50,409 --> 01:49:51,715
In you.
1968
01:49:56,502 --> 01:49:57,721
Oh.
1969
01:49:58,635 --> 01:50:01,119
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
1970
01:50:01,203 --> 01:50:02,990
- I don't know what I was thinking.
- No, no.
1971
01:50:03,074 --> 01:50:04,905
This is exactly why
I decided not to come in.
1972
01:50:04,989 --> 01:50:06,907
I've clearly got entirely
the wrong end of the--
1973
01:50:06,991 --> 01:50:08,648
- Mr Walliker...
- Look, I just want you to know
1974
01:50:08,732 --> 01:50:10,563
that this is not going to be
awkward at all. At all.
1975
01:50:10,647 --> 01:50:13,131
- Please stop talking.
- With Billy and school.
1976
01:50:13,215 --> 01:50:16,115
Let's just pretend this never happened,
please. Let's just--
1977
01:50:31,494 --> 01:50:34,065
It was either that or a whistle,
1978
01:50:34,149 --> 01:50:37,065
and I haven't got a whistle,
Mr Walliker.
1979
01:50:39,415 --> 01:50:41,112
Call me Scott, for God's sake.
1980
01:50:43,027 --> 01:50:44,420
Yes, Mr Walliker.
1981
01:51:02,351 --> 01:51:05,357
Right, shake it, shake it,
shake it. No, go mad.
1982
01:51:05,441 --> 01:51:07,008
That's it. Now pour it out.
1983
01:51:08,052 --> 01:51:09,053
Very good.
1984
01:51:09,880 --> 01:51:11,798
Insert one cherry.
1985
01:51:11,882 --> 01:51:15,190
And that, my friends,
is how we make a Dirty Bitch.
1986
01:51:17,322 --> 01:51:20,590
Christ. That may even be
a Filthy Bitch. Pass that round.
1987
01:51:20,674 --> 01:51:23,589
Now, similar but not at all the same,
1988
01:51:24,286 --> 01:51:25,464
the Bad Mummy.
1989
01:51:25,548 --> 01:51:27,379
Little bit of vodka.
1990
01:51:27,463 --> 01:51:29,076
- Yeah?
- Come here.
1991
01:51:29,160 --> 01:51:30,901
Okay, you're in charge.
1992
01:51:36,602 --> 01:51:38,608
Is that who I think it is?
1993
01:51:38,692 --> 01:51:40,692
So they tell me, yeah.
What do you think?
1994
01:51:40,737 --> 01:51:43,003
You have sad eyes, angelo mio.
1995
01:51:43,087 --> 01:51:45,484
Why so sad? They make me sad.
1996
01:51:45,568 --> 01:51:47,225
I want to see the smile.
1997
01:51:47,309 --> 01:51:48,574
Stop it.
1998
01:51:48,658 --> 01:51:50,184
He's 16!
1999
01:51:50,268 --> 01:51:52,186
Yeah. Late starter.
2000
01:51:52,270 --> 01:51:53,971
Where in Italy are you from?
2001
01:51:54,055 --> 01:51:55,755
- Bologna.
- Bologna.
2002
01:51:55,839 --> 01:51:57,017
- Yeah.
- Say it again.
2003
01:51:57,101 --> 01:51:58,889
- Bologna.
- Bologna.
2004
01:51:58,973 --> 01:52:00,717
Enzo, the kids are gonna watch
a movie upstairs. You coming?
2005
01:52:00,801 --> 01:52:01,758
He'll stay.
2006
01:52:03,586 --> 01:52:04,587
Boys.
2007
01:52:06,545 --> 01:52:07,985
I think you're proud.
2008
01:52:08,069 --> 01:52:09,813
Relief, really, Jones.
2009
01:52:09,897 --> 01:52:11,550
Kin, as you said.
2010
01:52:13,117 --> 01:52:14,556
- Enzo.
- Yeah?
2011
01:52:14,640 --> 01:52:16,036
Vieni qua.
2012
01:52:16,120 --> 01:52:17,472
- I beg your pardon.
- Okay.
2013
01:52:17,556 --> 01:52:19,561
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
2014
01:52:19,645 --> 01:52:21,651
This is your hostess
2015
01:52:21,735 --> 01:52:24,835
and one of the great loves of your
father's life, Bridget Jones.
2016
01:52:27,479 --> 01:52:29,093
Ooh!
2017
01:52:29,177 --> 01:52:31,617
It's nice to meet you, Enzo.
2018
01:52:33,398 --> 01:52:35,926
He says it is a great honour to meet you.
2019
01:52:36,010 --> 01:52:39,230
Oh!
2020
01:52:41,145 --> 01:52:43,585
And then he says that those are
2021
01:52:43,669 --> 01:52:46,020
very, very silly little boots.
2022
01:52:49,371 --> 01:52:51,547
You have incredible posture.
2023
01:52:52,635 --> 01:52:54,118
You're not Danish, are you?
2024
01:52:54,202 --> 01:52:56,033
Well, I can be anything you want.
2025
01:52:56,117 --> 01:52:58,035
It is, isn't it? I know,
and it's working really well for you,
2026
01:52:58,119 --> 01:53:00,167
but all I'm saying is maybe
it's time for a rebrand.
2027
01:53:00,251 --> 01:53:02,126
Have you ever thought about
having a pixie cut?
2028
01:53:02,210 --> 01:53:03,518
No.
2029
01:53:03,602 --> 01:53:04,911
Oh, you have the face for it.
2030
01:53:04,995 --> 01:53:06,957
And it's utterly changed my life.
2031
01:53:07,041 --> 01:53:09,437
Nonsense, Pam.
You're perfect just as you are.
2032
01:53:09,521 --> 01:53:11,349
Is that a Dirty Bitch?
2033
01:53:12,263 --> 01:53:14,007
Steady on.
2034
01:53:14,091 --> 01:53:16,662
Oh, yes, please.
Yes, thank you very much.
2035
01:53:16,746 --> 01:53:18,446
Thanks.
2036
01:53:18,530 --> 01:53:20,013
- Just what the doctor ordered.
- Me too.
2037
01:53:20,097 --> 01:53:22,755
- Always. Take a horn.
- Give me the fucking horn.
2038
01:53:22,839 --> 01:53:24,409
- Thank you, thank you.
- Yep.
2039
01:53:24,493 --> 01:53:28,195
- Mmm. Oh.
- Mmm. Mmm.
2040
01:53:28,279 --> 01:53:31,590
I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd have
done in the past 20 years without you lot.
2041
01:53:31,674 --> 01:53:34,114
- Twenty?
- No, it's not. It's thirty?
2042
01:53:34,198 --> 01:53:36,073
Yeah, it's more like 30 years, to be honest.
2043
01:53:36,157 --> 01:53:38,463
We've had some fucking fun
though, haven't we?
2044
01:53:41,858 --> 01:53:43,381
We have.
2045
01:53:44,992 --> 01:53:48,302
Ten, nine, eight,
2046
01:53:48,386 --> 01:53:52,002
seven, six, five,
2047
01:53:52,086 --> 01:53:54,395
four, three,
2048
01:53:54,479 --> 01:53:56,571
two, one!
2049
01:53:56,655 --> 01:53:59,574
Happy New Year!
2050
01:54:03,445 --> 01:54:04,884
♪ ...be forgot ♪
2051
01:54:04,968 --> 01:54:07,800
♪ And never brought to mind? ♪
2052
01:54:07,884 --> 01:54:09,497
Happy New Year.
2053
01:54:09,581 --> 01:54:13,588
♪ Should auld acquaintance
Be forgot ♪
2054
01:54:13,672 --> 01:54:17,810
♪ For the sake
Of auld lang syne? ♪
2055
01:54:17,894 --> 01:54:22,249
♪ For auld lang syne, my dear ♪
2056
01:54:22,333 --> 01:54:26,732
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
2057
01:54:26,816 --> 01:54:31,258
♪ We'll take a cup
Of kindness yet ♪
2058
01:54:31,342 --> 01:54:35,393
♪ For the sake
Of auld lang syne ♪
2059
01:56:16,317 --> 01:56:17,709
I forgot to check.
2060
01:56:22,932 --> 01:56:23,933
Look.
2061
01:56:51,700 --> 01:56:52,875
Goodnight.
2062
01:57:12,025 --> 01:57:13,420
Ooh.
2063
01:57:13,504 --> 01:57:15,071
Bloody zip.
2064
01:57:20,120 --> 01:57:23,427
Bastard tyrannical dress people.
2065
01:57:28,432 --> 01:57:29,564
I've got it.
2066
01:57:32,828 --> 01:57:34,047
Thank you.
2067
01:57:39,878 --> 01:57:41,405
Happy New Year.
2068
01:57:41,489 --> 01:57:43,839
Happy New Year.
2069
01:58:25,446 --> 01:58:28,930
♪ I could go back to
The old place ♪
2070
01:58:29,014 --> 01:58:32,325
♪ And write your name
On every blank page ♪
2071
01:58:32,409 --> 01:58:36,155
♪ But it's a story now
Just a story now ♪
2072
01:58:36,239 --> 01:58:39,550
♪ Just the kind of thing that
You'd say ♪
2073
01:58:39,634 --> 01:58:43,249
♪ They say no need to
Look behind me ♪
2074
01:58:43,333 --> 01:58:46,818
♪ That I can keep you
Here beside me ♪
2075
01:58:46,902 --> 01:58:50,430
♪ To make a mess of it
To make the best of it ♪
2076
01:58:50,514 --> 01:58:55,087
♪ It isn't perfect
But it might be ♪
2077
01:59:02,570 --> 01:59:06,838
♪ There's a lot of ground
To cover ♪
2078
01:59:06,922 --> 01:59:09,623
♪ One foot and then the other ♪
2079
01:59:09,707 --> 01:59:14,973
♪ On my way, my way
To somewhere new ♪
2080
01:59:16,888 --> 01:59:20,460
♪ A few false starts
Can you forgive this ♪
2081
01:59:20,544 --> 01:59:23,898
♪ Cautious car and just bear with it ♪
2082
01:59:23,982 --> 01:59:29,643
♪ While it does what
I thought it couldn't do ♪
2083
01:59:29,727 --> 01:59:33,473
♪ I could go back to
The old place ♪
2084
01:59:33,557 --> 01:59:36,955
♪ And write your name
On every blank page ♪
2085
01:59:37,039 --> 01:59:40,698
♪ But it's a story now
Just a story now ♪
2086
01:59:40,782 --> 01:59:44,049
♪ Just the kind of thing that
You'd say ♪
2087
01:59:44,133 --> 01:59:47,748
♪ They say no need to
Look behind me ♪
2088
01:59:47,832 --> 01:59:51,274
♪ That I can keep you
Here beside me ♪
2089
01:59:51,358 --> 01:59:55,016
♪ To make a mess of it
To make the best of it ♪
2090
01:59:55,100 --> 01:59:59,586
♪ It isn't perfect
But it might be ♪
2091
02:00:04,980 --> 02:00:07,116
♪ Mmm ♪
2092
02:00:07,200 --> 02:00:11,076
♪ Treading lightly
Thinking slightly ♪
2093
02:00:11,160 --> 02:00:14,427
♪ It just might be
It just might be ♪
2094
02:00:14,511 --> 02:00:17,952
♪ Treading lightly
Thinking slightly ♪
2095
02:00:18,036 --> 02:00:21,652
♪ It just might be
It just might be ♪
2096
02:00:21,736 --> 02:00:23,436
♪ It just might be ♪
2097
02:00:23,520 --> 02:00:27,092
♪ Oh, I can go back to
The old place ♪
2098
02:00:27,176 --> 02:00:30,748
♪ And write your name
On every blank page ♪
2099
02:00:30,832 --> 02:00:34,491
♪ But it's a story now
Just a story now ♪
2100
02:00:34,575 --> 02:00:37,929
♪ Just the kind of thing that
You'd say ♪
2101
02:00:38,013 --> 02:00:41,585
♪ That there's no need to
Look behind me ♪
2102
02:00:41,669 --> 02:00:45,197
♪ That I can keep you
Here beside me ♪
2103
02:00:45,281 --> 02:00:48,809
♪ To make a mess of it
To make the best of it ♪
2104
02:00:48,893 --> 02:00:53,466
♪ It isn't perfect
But it might be ♪
2105
02:00:57,032 --> 02:00:58,990
♪ Like it might be ♪
2106
02:01:00,470 --> 02:01:03,084
♪ Like it might be ♪
2107
02:01:05,083 --> 02:01:09,305
♪ Whoo, whoo ♪
2108
02:01:12,265 --> 02:01:15,746
♪ Might be, might be
Might be ♪
2109
02:01:27,236 --> 02:01:30,677
♪ "Have you met Miss Jones?" ♪
2110
02:01:30,761 --> 02:01:35,465
♪ Someone said as
We shook hands ♪
2111
02:01:35,549 --> 02:01:41,163
♪ She was just Miss Jones
To me ♪
2112
02:01:42,643 --> 02:01:46,780
♪ And then I said "Miss Jones ♪
2113
02:01:46,864 --> 02:01:50,871
♪ You're a girl
Who understands ♪
2114
02:01:50,955 --> 02:01:56,964
♪ I'm a man
Who must be free" ♪
2115
02:01:57,048 --> 02:02:00,925
♪ And all at once
I lost my breath ♪
2116
02:02:01,009 --> 02:02:04,755
♪ And all at once
Was scared to death ♪
2117
02:02:04,839 --> 02:02:07,236
♪ And all at once ♪
2118
02:02:07,320 --> 02:02:14,155
♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪
2119
02:02:14,239 --> 02:02:18,508
♪ And now I've met Miss Jones ♪
2120
02:02:18,592 --> 02:02:24,427
♪ And we'll keep on meeting til we die ♪
2121
02:02:24,511 --> 02:02:27,035
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2122
02:02:29,342 --> 02:02:30,560
♪ Whoa, fellas ♪
2123
02:03:07,684 --> 02:03:11,430
♪ And all at once
I lost my breath ♪
2124
02:03:11,514 --> 02:03:15,434
♪ And all at once
Was scared to death ♪
2125
02:03:15,518 --> 02:03:18,045
♪ And all at once ♪
2126
02:03:18,129 --> 02:03:22,960
♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪
2127
02:03:24,788 --> 02:03:28,621
♪ Now I've met Miss Jones ♪
2128
02:03:28,705 --> 02:03:35,019
♪ And we'll keep on meeting til we die ♪
2129
02:03:35,103 --> 02:03:37,975
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2130
02:03:39,150 --> 02:03:41,501
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2131
02:03:43,067 --> 02:03:45,330
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2132
02:03:47,158 --> 02:03:54,122
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2133
02:03:58,256 --> 02:03:59,519
♪ Ha! ♪
154626
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