All language subtitles for 1.02. Universal Remote

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:06,631 Europe... 2 00:01:07,531 --> 00:01:08,867 1944. 3 00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:13,672 The second world war was now its fourth year. 4 00:01:13,672 --> 00:01:15,940 The stage was set for the most exciting... 5 00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:20,344 I can't take it, Wyatt. If something now doesn't happen 6 00:01:20,344 --> 00:01:24,348 I'll open my skull with a hacksaw and start playing with my brains. 7 00:01:24,348 --> 00:01:26,785 I'm sensing you a bit... perturbed? 8 00:01:28,286 --> 00:01:31,222 I know how the war ends. Let's drop the bomb and move on. 9 00:01:31,722 --> 00:01:35,526 ...we see the germans had the opportunity to win the war 10 00:01:35,526 --> 00:01:38,462 if not for one small mistake. 11 00:01:38,462 --> 00:01:40,364 Oh, God. Here it comes. 12 00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:44,335 Putting Colonel Klink in charge... 13 00:01:44,335 --> 00:01:45,736 BOTH: ...of stalag 13. 14 00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:54,178 So what are you saying? 15 00:01:54,178 --> 00:01:55,179 You're bored with history? 16 00:01:55,679 --> 00:02:00,684 History, school, life-- it's all so dull. 17 00:02:00,684 --> 00:02:04,688 Don't you wish you could skip over the lame, boring parts and get to the fun? 18 00:02:04,688 --> 00:02:08,192 I kind of like school. And what's the point of complaining? 19 00:02:08,192 --> 00:02:10,694 It's not like we can do anything about it. 20 00:02:11,195 --> 00:02:15,133 True. There's nothing we can do about it. 21 00:02:15,599 --> 00:02:17,601 - However... - No! 22 00:02:19,102 --> 00:02:21,104 We don't understand her powers. 23 00:02:21,605 --> 00:02:22,606 They're beyond our control. 24 00:02:22,606 --> 00:02:24,608 The woman is capable of anything. 25 00:02:24,608 --> 00:02:27,611 She could actually... ( Gasps ) ...improve our lives. 26 00:02:28,111 --> 00:02:30,080 ( Both Yelling ) 27 00:02:31,081 --> 00:02:32,650 # ...Something like a recipe # 28 00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:33,584 # Bits and pieces # 29 00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:35,586 # Bits and pieces # 30 00:02:36,053 --> 00:02:37,455 # My creation # 31 00:02:37,455 --> 00:02:39,290 # Is it real? # 32 00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:41,292 # It's my creation # 33 00:02:41,292 --> 00:02:42,626 # Ooh, my creation # 34 00:02:42,626 --> 00:02:44,227 # It's my creation # 35 00:02:44,227 --> 00:02:45,763 # RT and from my hand # 36 00:02:45,763 --> 00:02:47,297 # Why don't people understand # 37 00:02:47,765 --> 00:02:48,766 # My intentions? # 38 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,402 What can I do for you boys? 39 00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:52,403 Nothing. 40 00:02:52,403 --> 00:02:53,404 Big thing! 41 00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:54,905 Here's the deal. 42 00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:56,907 We're tired of having to wait through the lame 43 00:02:57,408 --> 00:02:59,910 IFE to get to the exciting stuff. 44 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:01,412 It's not that bad. 45 00:03:01,412 --> 00:03:03,914 We were hoping you'd have a few ideas. 46 00:03:03,914 --> 00:03:08,619 I could fill your lives with nothing but excitement. 47 00:03:08,619 --> 00:03:10,621 - For example... - ( Mariachi Music Playing ) 48 00:03:11,622 --> 00:03:13,123 ( Gunfire ) 49 00:03:15,626 --> 00:03:16,660 ( Music Stops ) 50 00:03:19,162 --> 00:03:21,164 WAYNE: Hey! What's that racket up there? 51 00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:22,666 My dad's going to kill me. 52 00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:26,169 That was a little too big but on the right track. 53 00:03:27,671 --> 00:03:28,672 Right, Wyatt? 54 00:03:29,673 --> 00:03:32,175 Whatever you come up with we got to have absolute control 55 00:03:32,175 --> 00:03:33,176 or I'm not doing it. 56 00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:34,678 I got it. 57 00:03:35,178 --> 00:03:40,383 We need a remote-- only one that will speed up time whenever we want. 58 00:03:40,851 --> 00:03:41,852 Hmm. 59 00:03:43,854 --> 00:03:45,322 What, you recharged the batteries? 60 00:03:45,322 --> 00:03:45,823 Just try it. 61 00:03:50,027 --> 00:03:51,962 Cool. A remote for the clock. 62 00:03:54,464 --> 00:03:56,967 I don't want to rag on your handiwork but we're looking 63 00:03:56,967 --> 00:04:01,304 for something that would speed up the big picture not just clocks in general. 64 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,743 Oh, good. You ladies are home. 65 00:04:06,743 --> 00:04:09,746 It's story time with big brother Chett. 66 00:04:11,248 --> 00:04:13,750 We don't want to hear a stupid hunting story. 67 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,152 Shut your stinking hole. 68 00:04:16,086 --> 00:04:19,356 I'd listen up or I'll snap the ribs from your spine like breadsticks. 69 00:04:21,858 --> 00:04:22,759 All right. 70 00:04:22,759 --> 00:04:23,760 Check it out. 71 00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:25,695 It must have been tuesday. 72 00:04:25,695 --> 00:04:27,664 No, wednesday. 73 00:04:28,165 --> 00:04:29,166 No, wait a minute. 74 00:04:29,666 --> 00:04:30,667 What's the day the trash comes? 75 00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,668 Wednesday, right? 76 00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:33,170 Okay, so the day before-- 77 00:04:33,170 --> 00:04:34,171 Tuesday-- 78 00:04:34,171 --> 00:04:36,173 I wake up, and I... 79 00:04:36,173 --> 00:04:38,808 ( Fast-Forwarding ) 80 00:04:51,954 --> 00:04:56,759 ...and then the cat blew chunks on the carpet. 81 00:04:59,161 --> 00:05:00,129 Great story, huh, girls? 82 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:04,734 How did I do? 83 00:05:05,935 --> 00:05:07,404 BOTH: Yes! 84 00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:18,415 Can I hold it? 85 00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:21,418 I need to feel its cool, dark metal against my skin. 86 00:05:22,919 --> 00:05:24,421 We remember what Lisa said. 87 00:05:25,422 --> 00:05:30,627 This thing affects all of time so use it sparingly only in extreme situations. 88 00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:31,628 Gotcha. 89 00:05:31,628 --> 00:05:35,397 When we left off yesterday the americans were about to join 90 00:05:35,397 --> 00:05:36,899 the allied was effort. 91 00:05:37,399 --> 00:05:43,873 To recap the devastating attack of Pearl Harbor was still a recent memory. 92 00:05:44,373 --> 00:05:44,874 Hit it. 93 00:05:45,608 --> 00:05:47,476 ( Fast-Forwarding ) 94 00:05:53,249 --> 00:05:56,552 Who can tell me the names of the participants? 95 00:05:56,552 --> 00:05:58,621 - ( Bell Rings ) - BOTH: Yeah! 96 00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:05,895 Life without the boring parts. 97 00:06:06,896 --> 00:06:09,899 - I could get comfy with this. - Yeah, me too. 98 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,737 I have to admit this chia pet wouldn't be half as fun in real time. 99 00:06:14,737 --> 00:06:16,738 Whatever cranks your cheese wheel. 100 00:06:17,239 --> 00:06:18,007 ( Door Closing ) 101 00:06:18,007 --> 00:06:19,175 He's here. 102 00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:25,848 Afternoon, puke licks. 103 00:06:26,315 --> 00:06:27,816 Afternoon, puke licks. 104 00:06:30,686 --> 00:06:32,588 - What did you call me? - Puke bag. 105 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:35,391 Butt cramp. 106 00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:36,893 Skank boy. 107 00:06:37,393 --> 00:06:42,331 Take your pick, dick. ( Yelling ) 108 00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:49,338 Chett will learn from this and that brings me joy. 109 00:06:49,338 --> 00:06:52,341 But I can't help feeling there's a greater purposis remote. 110 00:06:52,341 --> 00:06:58,047 I suppose we could go back in time and avert world wars and snuff out disease. 111 00:06:58,047 --> 00:06:59,548 I'm talking about chicks. 112 00:07:01,049 --> 00:07:06,054 Gary, it's illegal to go around freeze-framing women and taking off their clothes. 113 00:07:06,054 --> 00:07:07,556 I'm talking about relationships. 114 00:07:08,056 --> 00:07:10,559 With this remote, we can skip over all that lame getting-to-know-you 115 00:07:10,559 --> 00:07:14,496 talky-touchy-feely crap and get to the good parts. 116 00:07:14,496 --> 00:07:17,499 - Can I help? - Do you have to explode in like that? 117 00:07:17,499 --> 00:07:19,000 Well, excuse me. 118 00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:21,503 Who put a kink in your hose? 119 00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:26,742 I'm sorry but tierine time-space continuum tends to make me edgy. 120 00:07:29,278 --> 00:07:31,780 How do we know he's not, like, awake in there 121 00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:33,282 and watching everything we're doing. 122 00:07:33,282 --> 00:07:35,283 Relax. It's your personal remote. 123 00:07:35,283 --> 00:07:37,786 You are the only two people who have any idea that time 124 00:07:37,786 --> 00:07:40,288 is starting or stopping speeding up or slowing down. 125 00:07:40,288 --> 00:07:42,290 To everyone else, life proceeds as normal. 126 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:47,062 WYATT: Where are we in all this? 127 00:07:47,563 --> 00:07:49,064 You'll have experienced everything. 128 00:07:49,064 --> 00:07:51,567 You just won't have any memory of it. 129 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,568 It's what you wished for-- 130 00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:54,069 the ability to skip through the boring parts. 131 00:07:54,069 --> 00:07:56,071 So we could use it on dates. 132 00:07:56,572 --> 00:07:57,573 Sure, if you want to. 133 00:07:58,073 --> 00:07:59,074 I don't know. 134 00:07:59,575 --> 00:08:03,078 I'm not sure we should mess with the forces of romance. 135 00:08:03,579 --> 00:08:07,516 Wyatt, if we don't let me explore the wide world of women 136 00:08:08,016 --> 00:08:09,350 we're doing a disservice to science. 137 00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:11,352 WYATT: To you want. 138 00:08:11,853 --> 00:08:14,355 Who am I to stand in the way of science? 139 00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:15,290 Thank you. 140 00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:17,425 Ready? 141 00:08:17,926 --> 00:08:22,063 ( Yelling ) What the...? 142 00:08:27,502 --> 00:08:29,004 - Hi. - Hi, Gary. 143 00:08:30,005 --> 00:08:34,509 I can't stay out late and I don't like movies and I don't eat fried foods. 144 00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:36,011 Let the fun begin. 145 00:08:40,148 --> 00:08:42,650 You know, I had an okay time tonight. 146 00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:43,151 You did? 147 00:08:43,651 --> 00:08:45,153 Nothing seemed unusually... 148 00:08:46,154 --> 00:08:46,922 unusual? 149 00:08:47,923 --> 00:08:49,790 Everything was fine. 150 00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:53,694 I guess this is where I kiss you good night. 151 00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:56,965 Whoa. I made it clear. 152 00:08:57,966 --> 00:08:59,134 I just want to be friends. 153 00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:01,469 - Geez, Gary. - Right. 154 00:09:06,341 --> 00:09:10,845 Well, I guess this is where I kiss you good night. 155 00:09:11,346 --> 00:09:16,851 You took me to that dump you made me pay and 156 00:09:16,851 --> 00:09:20,355 then your nosebleed ruined my blouse. 157 00:09:20,355 --> 00:09:21,356 Kiss this! 158 00:09:25,326 --> 00:09:28,329 - Good night, Gary. - Yeah, well... 159 00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,831 - Good night. - Wait a minute. 160 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,334 I thought maybe... I don't know... 161 00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:34,835 Do you want to kiss? 162 00:09:35,336 --> 00:09:36,337 You want to kiss? 163 00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:40,341 Me? After everything that probably happened on this date? 164 00:09:40,341 --> 00:09:42,843 After the way I probably treated you? 165 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,346 After the stupid things I probably said? 166 00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:46,847 I'm losing the mood here. 167 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:54,355 - That was nice. - Yes, it was. 168 00:09:56,357 --> 00:09:57,358 Good night, Gary. 169 00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,295 Yeah, well... good night. 170 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,296 Wait a minute. 171 00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:05,165 I thought maybe... I don't know... 172 00:10:05,165 --> 00:10:06,166 Do you want to kiss? 173 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:09,870 That was... 174 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,373 Good night, Gary. 175 00:10:19,379 --> 00:10:20,748 Want to go out again? 176 00:10:20,748 --> 00:10:22,249 - Next saturday? - Great. 177 00:10:30,257 --> 00:10:32,760 I can't believe we've been only dating a week. 178 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,761 It feels like longer. 179 00:10:34,261 --> 00:10:35,262 To you, maybe. 180 00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:37,765 Is this a button or a zipper thingy? 181 00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,266 Gary, stop! 182 00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:41,769 When do you want to go out again? 183 00:10:42,269 --> 00:10:43,270 I don't know. 184 00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:44,905 How about thursday? 185 00:10:47,374 --> 00:10:49,376 Something tells me you're not having a good time. 186 00:10:50,878 --> 00:10:52,379 It's that stupid remote. 187 00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:55,883 I thought you were having fun with it. 188 00:10:55,883 --> 00:10:57,384 Gary's having fun with it. 189 00:10:57,885 --> 00:11:00,387 I'm stuck watching clocks spin. 190 00:11:00,387 --> 00:11:02,890 Every time he fast-forwards through his dates 191 00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:05,392 my universe goes on a caffeine high. 192 00:11:05,392 --> 00:11:08,362 I don't remember what day it is anything I did this week-- 193 00:11:08,362 --> 00:11:09,296 I can't even watch TV. 194 00:11:11,298 --> 00:11:13,300 Althrough it does liven up Pbs. 195 00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:17,804 You're just mad at Gary for having a little fun with his newfound toy. 196 00:11:17,804 --> 00:11:18,705 "A little fun"? 197 00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:26,380 Hmm. I see your point. 198 00:11:30,884 --> 00:11:34,888 He's playing with the forces of natures all just to get girls. 199 00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:38,392 Ugh. 200 00:11:38,892 --> 00:11:42,562 See? It's all fun until someone loses a sandwich. 201 00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:50,570 It's so romantic out here. 202 00:11:51,971 --> 00:11:55,809 Sometimes, if I close my eyes it reminds me of the farm 203 00:11:56,310 --> 00:11:58,978 we used to spend summers at when I was... 204 00:11:58,978 --> 00:11:59,479 ( Fast-Forwarding ) 205 00:12:03,717 --> 00:12:08,021 ...and other times I just wish I could live there for the rest of my life. 206 00:12:08,522 --> 00:12:10,023 ( Fast-Forwarding ) 207 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:14,193 I really like you, Gary Wallace. 208 00:12:15,895 --> 00:12:17,397 Mmm... me too. 209 00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,300 I think that's enough for tonight. 210 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,802 Maybe I'll see you in school this week. 211 00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:25,305 It's kind of a special week for me, you know. 212 00:12:25,305 --> 00:12:27,807 Right. Special, special. 213 00:12:32,812 --> 00:12:35,114 Yes! I like this. 214 00:12:38,117 --> 00:12:40,119 Wyatt. Hey, Wyatt! 215 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:41,621 Wait up! 216 00:12:41,621 --> 00:12:42,622 Where you been? 217 00:12:42,622 --> 00:12:44,123 I haven't seen you all week. 218 00:12:44,123 --> 00:12:47,126 Gee, you still know what a week is? 219 00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:50,630 I figured days, weeks, and months were all one big blur to you. 220 00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:52,766 Hey, that's Sarcasm. 221 00:12:52,766 --> 00:12:54,267 You having a good time? 222 00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:55,769 Me? Hell, yeah. 223 00:12:55,769 --> 00:12:56,770 Got my remote. 224 00:12:56,770 --> 00:12:58,204 Got continuous lip action. 225 00:12:58,204 --> 00:12:59,706 What's not good? 226 00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:04,210 Your life may be continuous lip action but mine's like a bad carnival ride. 227 00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:07,013 You want to skip to the weekend and talk? 228 00:13:07,513 --> 00:13:15,021 No, Gary. I have a french test and I would like to savor every second of it, 229 00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:21,594 so if you don't mind could we move through life at normal speed for the next 40 minutes? 230 00:13:21,594 --> 00:13:23,963 Oh, what crawled up his shorts? 231 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:30,236 Hey, watch where you're going. 232 00:13:33,306 --> 00:13:35,809 Donna! You see that? 233 00:13:35,809 --> 00:13:38,311 I stopped that big heavy door with my little face. 234 00:13:38,311 --> 00:13:40,246 I hate you, Gary Wallace! 235 00:13:40,746 --> 00:13:43,416 - Come again? - I thought I meant something to you 236 00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:44,918 and now you do this. 237 00:13:44,918 --> 00:13:46,986 Um, could you maybe give me a little hint? 238 00:13:46,986 --> 00:13:48,254 See, my memory... 239 00:13:48,254 --> 00:13:50,623 - Oh, you make me so mad! - ( Gasps ) 240 00:13:51,124 --> 00:13:53,993 And what is it with you and this stupid remote? 241 00:13:53,993 --> 00:13:54,994 No! Don't! 242 00:13:54,994 --> 00:13:58,031 Whatever you're about to say, forget it! 243 00:13:59,498 --> 00:13:59,999 Hey, Ted. 244 00:13:59,999 --> 00:14:01,000 How's it going? 245 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:01,968 Hi, Donna. 246 00:14:03,436 --> 00:14:03,936 There a problem here? 247 00:14:04,437 --> 00:14:08,207 Give me the remote and we can have a heart-to-heart 248 00:14:08,207 --> 00:14:09,708 about whatever it is you're rambling about. 249 00:14:10,176 --> 00:14:12,478 You want it, bonehead? Go get it. 250 00:14:13,446 --> 00:14:13,946 GARY: No! 251 00:14:21,187 --> 00:14:21,820 What? 252 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:25,824 - Donna? - I hate you, Gary Wallace! 253 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:27,326 Hey, Donna. 254 00:14:29,295 --> 00:14:31,297 - There a problem here? - Oh, no. 255 00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,131 I'm trapped in time. 256 00:14:39,305 --> 00:14:42,174 - I hate you, Gary Wallace! - Here we go again. 257 00:14:43,108 --> 00:14:43,609 Donna. 258 00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:45,110 What a surprise. 259 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:47,580 I thought I meant something to you. 260 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:49,448 You're right-- it is low. 261 00:14:49,948 --> 00:14:50,449 Could I have that? 262 00:14:50,949 --> 00:14:52,385 What is it with you and this remote? 263 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,019 Hey, Donna. 264 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,020 There a problem here? 265 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,590 No. No problem here. Give me that. 266 00:14:58,991 --> 00:15:00,893 No. No! 267 00:15:01,794 --> 00:15:04,697 - Leave her alone, loser. - You want this? 268 00:15:04,697 --> 00:15:06,098 Go get it. 269 00:15:06,098 --> 00:15:07,099 GARY: No! 270 00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:14,607 Let me guess. 271 00:15:15,107 --> 00:15:15,808 You hate me. 272 00:15:15,808 --> 00:15:16,809 That's right. I thought... 273 00:15:16,308 --> 00:15:17,976 You do mean something to me. 274 00:15:17,976 --> 00:15:20,445 Oh, then you realize what you did I do. 275 00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:21,947 What I did was terrible-- 276 00:15:22,948 --> 00:15:24,950 So terrible, it's indescribable. 277 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,819 I bet you can't even describe it. 278 00:15:26,819 --> 00:15:27,319 Can you? 279 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:30,789 After all we've been through you forgot my birthday. 280 00:15:30,789 --> 00:15:32,958 Birthday? Forget? 281 00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:34,459 I didn't forget. 282 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,961 Check it out. 283 00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:36,962 Surprise. 284 00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:37,963 Come on, Ted. 285 00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:40,933 # Happy birthday to you # # Happy birthday to you... # 286 00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:42,434 You're pathetic. 287 00:15:42,835 --> 00:15:44,670 And you're too mature to throw that remote. 288 00:15:47,339 --> 00:15:49,574 There are now ten minutes left. 289 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,415 There are now ten minutes left. 290 00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:06,391 Oh, no. What's happening? 291 00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:11,363 # Happy birthday to you... # 292 00:16:11,363 --> 00:16:12,865 I hate you, Gary Wallace! 293 00:16:13,365 --> 00:16:15,500 I just wanted to sing you happy birthday. 294 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:18,203 - It is your birthday. - My birthday was yesteday. 295 00:16:18,703 --> 00:16:20,705 You didn't even get me a card. 296 00:16:20,705 --> 00:16:23,141 I must have told you five times in the last week. 297 00:16:23,141 --> 00:16:24,642 Do you ever listen? 298 00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,011 Of course I listen to you. 299 00:16:26,511 --> 00:16:27,512 Ted! 300 00:16:28,013 --> 00:16:29,014 Oh, yeah? 301 00:16:29,014 --> 00:16:30,548 Then what's my favorite movie, huh? 302 00:16:30,548 --> 00:16:32,017 Who's my favorite group? 303 00:16:32,017 --> 00:16:33,185 Where do I spend my summers? 304 00:16:33,651 --> 00:16:34,152 I know that one. 305 00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:36,621 Some farm, right? 306 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,622 You don't know a thing about me. 307 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,624 Okay, you got me. 308 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,126 I don't know a thing about you. 309 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:42,760 I just want that remote. 310 00:16:44,262 --> 00:16:45,263 Ted! 311 00:16:45,763 --> 00:16:46,264 I'm sorry. 312 00:16:46,764 --> 00:16:47,265 Ted's being detained. 313 00:16:47,765 --> 00:16:48,766 I'll take that. 314 00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:54,906 Leave her alone, loser. 315 00:16:57,074 --> 00:16:59,076 There are ten minutes left. 316 00:17:00,077 --> 00:17:02,614 Uh, something is very wrong here. 317 00:17:02,614 --> 00:17:05,049 Est-ce qu' il y a un probleme? 318 00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:06,551 Yeah. I really got to... 319 00:17:06,551 --> 00:17:08,820 Uh-uh. En francais. 320 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:15,893 Je vais aller de la... de la... mon ami, um... 321 00:17:16,394 --> 00:17:17,762 There are ten minutes left. 322 00:17:19,764 --> 00:17:22,734 - Monsieur Donnelly. - Sorry. Go to run. 323 00:17:26,237 --> 00:17:28,239 Not as fast, young man. 324 00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:32,276 What do we know about running in the hall? 325 00:17:32,276 --> 00:17:34,946 Now, I know this may sound like I'm coming down on you 326 00:17:34,946 --> 00:17:39,884 but I remember one eyeless lad skewered by his own el marko. 327 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:40,885 I don't have time! 328 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,788 There are now ten minutes left. 329 00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:44,956 ( Groaning ) 330 00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:50,628 Lisa. 331 00:17:50,628 --> 00:17:51,829 Get me out of this loop. 332 00:17:52,329 --> 00:17:53,330 Please, make it stop. 333 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:57,602 Once a wish is in motion, I can't turn it off. 334 00:17:57,602 --> 00:17:58,936 I can't do it anymore. 335 00:18:00,437 --> 00:18:01,939 You can't give up, Gary. 336 00:18:01,939 --> 00:18:02,907 There is a way out. 337 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,676 I hate you, Gary Wallace! 338 00:18:04,676 --> 00:18:06,177 I'll never get that remote. 339 00:18:06,678 --> 00:18:08,179 You really want it back that badly? 340 00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:12,183 Skipping the dull parts hasn't made your life any better. 341 00:18:12,683 --> 00:18:16,587 Maybe those dull parts are more important than you think. 342 00:18:17,288 --> 00:18:19,090 Are you just going to lie there? 343 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:20,524 Otherwise... 344 00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,699 I hate you, Gary Wallace! 345 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,868 There are now ten minutes left. 346 00:18:32,369 --> 00:18:33,370 Monsieur Donnelly. 347 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,408 Ah, what the hell. 348 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:42,413 Viva la france! 349 00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:46,683 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning. 350 00:18:50,187 --> 00:18:53,957 I think Wallace here needs a little attitude adjustment. 351 00:18:53,957 --> 00:18:55,959 GARY: Go ahead. You might as well hit me. 352 00:18:55,959 --> 00:18:57,794 I mean, I would if I was you. 353 00:18:57,794 --> 00:18:59,296 I missed my girlfriend's birthday! 354 00:19:00,064 --> 00:19:01,565 No present, no card. 355 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,234 Not even a phone call. 356 00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,535 I'm jerk. 357 00:19:04,535 --> 00:19:05,936 I thought I meant something to you. 358 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,371 Ted, do you mind? 359 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,874 I'm starting to lose feeling in my brain. 360 00:19:13,377 --> 00:19:15,879 You know why I didn't but you anything? 361 00:19:15,879 --> 00:19:17,381 Because there's no present in the world that could 362 00:19:18,048 --> 00:19:21,452 express how deep my feelings run for you. 363 00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:23,187 You're not buying any of this, are you? 364 00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:24,221 Nope. 365 00:19:24,721 --> 00:19:25,822 Go fetch. 366 00:19:25,822 --> 00:19:27,258 Wyatt! 367 00:19:27,258 --> 00:19:27,724 Incoming! 368 00:19:28,425 --> 00:19:29,860 Yes! 369 00:19:31,362 --> 00:19:32,796 Get me out of here. 370 00:19:33,364 --> 00:19:36,400 Fast-forward, pause, freeze-frame-- something. 371 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:37,901 Not this time. 372 00:19:39,903 --> 00:19:41,405 I promise you'll get to hit me. 373 00:19:41,905 --> 00:19:42,406 Just a minute. 374 00:19:43,407 --> 00:19:44,408 Donna! Wait. 375 00:19:43,907 --> 00:19:45,909 Okay, I admit it. 376 00:19:45,909 --> 00:19:48,412 I never really paid any attention to you or the relationship. 377 00:19:48,912 --> 00:19:51,314 I just wanted to make out with you. 378 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,316 And that's your apology? 379 00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:54,317 Yes. 380 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:55,819 No. 381 00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:57,053 I don't know. 382 00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:59,022 I'm trying to be honest here, okay? 383 00:19:59,523 --> 00:20:01,024 I like you a lot. 384 00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:05,461 I really do but I love making out with you. 385 00:20:06,462 --> 00:20:08,565 You dress incredibly hot. 386 00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:10,033 You smell... 387 00:20:10,534 --> 00:20:14,738 so good and you have the softest lips in the entire universe. 388 00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:19,309 I kiss you... 389 00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:21,311 I'm in heaven. 390 00:20:21,812 --> 00:20:26,416 I don't know whether to hit you or pull you in some dark corner. 391 00:20:26,917 --> 00:20:30,253 Well, I... I'd definitely go for door number two. 392 00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:32,789 You're pretty twisted, Wallace. 393 00:20:33,289 --> 00:20:35,759 But awfully cuddly, don't you think? 394 00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:38,261 I got to go. 395 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:39,863 I'll see you later, Gary. 396 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:40,997 later? 397 00:20:41,497 --> 00:20:42,498 As in date later? 398 00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:04,354 You're a pal. 399 00:21:04,854 --> 00:21:06,856 Thanks for not zapping me out of there. 400 00:21:06,856 --> 00:21:07,857 Any time. 401 00:21:08,858 --> 00:21:11,361 And if you ever again force me to deal with my real-life 402 00:21:11,861 --> 00:21:13,363 situation head-on I'll kill you. 403 00:21:13,863 --> 00:21:14,364 Okeydoke. 404 00:21:25,108 --> 00:21:28,611 Mr. Wallace... would you care to do the honors? 405 00:21:28,611 --> 00:21:29,612 With pleasure. 406 00:21:31,114 --> 00:21:37,620 ... And if you ever, ever mess with my gun rack again I'm going 407 00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:41,624 to ram my fist down your throat and pull out your colon. 408 00:21:44,059 --> 00:21:45,060 Got it, girls? 409 00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:54,103 I don't think we'll be needing this anymore. 410 00:21:55,538 --> 00:21:57,473 Captioned by Grantman Brown 28657

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