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1
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,880
Good day, I'm Prince Andrew.
This is lovely.
2
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,520
In honour of getting myself
back into the swing of things,
3
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,040
the producers of Spitting Image
have sent me this gift.
4
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,880
OK, "Sit down," it says.
5
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,000
"Take off the lid," it says,
6
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,520
"and put your face
right down into the..."
7
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,920
MUSIC AND APPLAUSE
8
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,560
Hey, everybody.
Thanks for coming out to my rally.
9
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,960
You're beautiful, I love you,
we're gonna have fun.
10
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,120
Melania is here, Ivanka,
11
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,960
and that dynamo of energy
and excitement,
12
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,880
Jared Kushner!
13
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,880
WHEELS RATTLE
14
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,360
J-Man!
15
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,120
Show us those dance moves.
Give me a Y...
16
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,320
M...
17
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,760
C...
18
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,000
Easy, don't drive the crowd crazy.
19
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,880
And my biggest fan,
he's at every Trump rally, Coroney!
20
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,040
Catch me if you can!
21
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,440
Wa-hey!
CHEERING
22
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,600
COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING
23
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,800
Vote for me, I'm the funnest
president since Lincoln.
24
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,120
CHEERING
25
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:30,880
It's All Hallows' Eve,
spookius maximus.
26
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,960
The perfect night for a seance
27
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,360
to summon the ghost
of Winston Churchill.
28
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,720
He'll tell us how to
get out of this quagmire
29
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,120
we governed ourselves into.
30
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,000
The witches brew is almost ready.
31
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,960
In goes eye of puppy,
other eye of puppy,
32
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,320
rest of puppy.
33
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,480
All right, join hands.
34
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,520
Oh, mightiest Tory leader,
Torius imperator,
35
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,480
come unto us and impart your wisdom
36
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,720
because we haven't got
a bastard clue.
37
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,520
HE MUMBLES
38
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,080
Never surrender... Darkest hour...
39
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,680
THUNDER BOOMS
40
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,680
THATCHER'S VOICE: No, no, no.
41
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,920
You turn if you want to.
42
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:17,840
OMG, it's Margaret Thatcher!
My hero!
43
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,560
I'm quivering in fear.
44
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,480
I'm just tucking my shirt
into my trousers.
45
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:28,960
Why have you summoned me,
you snivelling weaklings?
46
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,120
We're having some trouble
with the North.
47
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,400
Abolish it!
48
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,240
Maybe we can suggest that
to the mayors
49
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,160
during the next round
of negotiations.
50
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,360
You're negotiating
with northerners?!
51
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,440
Oh, you cretinous wets!
52
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,760
This is so hot. If I had a pulse,
it would be racing.
53
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,800
I want to kiss her, him, it.
54
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,600
SHE KISSES AND MOANS
55
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,680
Lips so sausagey.
56
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,440
What shall we do about
hungry school kids?
57
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,000
Take away their milk, snatch it!
58
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,560
We've already taken away
their meals.
59
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,600
Never take everything away.
60
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,680
Make them feel grateful
for what little they get.
61
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,720
OK. About the EU,
now that we've left it...
62
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,640
You left it? My God,
what are you going to do next?
63
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,120
Catch immigrants with nets?
64
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,440
Erm...
65
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,280
I was the Iron Lady,
not the Stupid Twat.
66
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,200
That does it, I'm coming back,
taking over,
67
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,120
and reshuffling you all into hell.
68
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,640
THUNDER CLAPS
69
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,200
MENACING LAUGHTER
70
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,520
How do we get rid of her?
71
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,520
It says here our only option
is an immediate blood sacrifice.
72
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:36,800
ALL: Hancock.
73
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,760
And it should be a virgin.
74
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,240
ALL: Hancock.
75
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,160
HE RATTLES DOOR
76
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,240
Do I get a sticker for being brave?
77
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,840
Argh...
78
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:58,000
Another bloody U-turn!
79
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,360
BORIS MUTTERS
80
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,560
What happened? What did Winston say?
81
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,440
He said to kill Hancock.
82
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,520
Ah, now that's leadership. Pint?
83
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,880
THUNDER BOOMS
84
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:15,280
Mike, a lot of people are saying
voter fraud is a big, big problem.
85
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,720
Mainly stupid people.
Mainly Republicans, exactly.
86
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,960
I want an election
that is free and fair.
87
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,000
So I'm going to personally check
all the mail-in ballots.
88
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,880
And destroy the fraudulent ones?
89
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,000
Yes, the fraudulent ones
that voted for Democrats.
90
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,840
That's definitely one of your best
and only ideas.
91
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,640
But the Post Office will never
let us tamper with the mail.
92
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,600
Not a problem. I just appointed
a new Postmaster General.
93
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,040
Send in the kid!
94
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,320
WHEELS RATTLE
95
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,960
Jared, put it there.
96
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,920
Great to see you, Jared.
97
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,080
So, Mr Postmaster,
you mind if I borrow your keys?
98
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:57,600
He didn't say no and even if he did,
that's also a yes.
99
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,280
OK, let's go steal some mail.
100
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,600
But what if someone sees us?
Don't worry.
101
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,720
I bought some Halloween masks
as a disguise.
102
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,400
Gangs of hoodlums, people petrified
in their own homes,
103
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,440
the country's falling apart,
Aneurin.
104
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,960
If only I was in a position
to do something.
105
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,680
You are the leader
of the Labour Party.
106
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,960
Exactly. Powerless.
107
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,360
I have no choice,
I shall become a masked hero,
108
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,560
a bringer of vigilante justice.
109
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,720
But what dark creature of the night
shall I choose as my symbol?
110
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,000
BANGING AND SQUEALING
111
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,120
HOWLING
112
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:41,120
That's it, the fox.
113
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:45,480
The garbage-eating pest that strikes
fear into the heart of every Tory.
114
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,480
SQUEALING
115
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,680
I'd better check with the NEC
that foxes are kosher.
116
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,280
Any crooked ballots?
None yet.
117
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,400
But we've only checked
the first 20 million.
118
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,000
A-ha! Found something.
Voter fraud?
119
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,960
No, a birthday card some old bat
sent to her six-year-old grandson.
120
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,240
20 bucks! Paydirt!
121
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,320
Here's an anomaly, sir.
122
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,760
The signature on this ballot
doesn't match the name.
123
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,480
Out of my way, let me see that.
124
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:20,120
That fish-hooky symbol doesn't match
the flaggy-looking thing.
125
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,840
That's a letter J and a letter P.
126
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,320
So they're using letters
to represent words?
127
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,640
Must be a secret code.
It's English.
128
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,080
Send this to the FBI crime lab
and find out who mailed it.
129
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,080
No-one steals an election from me,
you got that?
130
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,600
I'm President, I do the stealing.
131
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,160
Joe, old chum, buddy.
132
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,320
The whole thing with me and Trump,
just a phase.
133
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,920
Our real special relationship
has always been with you...
134
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,360
ever since I saw the latest polls.
135
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,960
I appreciate that, man.
136
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,640
Hey, love the accent.
Where are you from? Pittsburgh?
137
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,280
Listen, I'd love
to talk about trade.
138
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,560
Well, what you got? Comic books?
Baseball cards?
139
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,520
No, but we've got one thing
America can't live without.
140
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,600
It's me, babes.
141
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,120
# Woah-ooh, woah-ooh. #
142
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,960
Mental, innit? Ha-ha!
143
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,440
Wait, are you Borat?
144
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,040
It's Prosecco o'clock.
145
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,000
# Woo-hoo. #
146
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,200
Give me the purse
or I'll kick out your Invisaligns.
147
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,600
Piss off!
148
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,280
THEY GASP
This party is over.
149
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,080
I am Fox Man and I am here
to clean up these streets.
150
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,880
Masked vigilante, hey?
151
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,240
I'm not afraid of you.
Nor should you be.
152
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,840
I'm here to find
a pragmatic solution
153
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,160
which brings all sides together
around a shared outcome.
154
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,840
A shared outcome?
He's trying to kill me.
155
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,680
I understand the strength of feeling
on this issue.
156
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,240
Which is why I'm proposing
a royal commission...
157
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,520
It's time to skin the fox.
158
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,320
Do you have a super-weapon?
159
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,800
No, it's something
far more powerful,
160
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,600
The Crime And Courts Act 2013.
161
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,880
It gives judges at Crown, District
and Magistrate level
162
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,960
the power to defer sentencing
163
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,280
in lieu of restorative justice.
SNORING
164
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,760
He's asleep.
You're a genius, Badger Lad.
165
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,200
It's Fox Man.
Yeah, whatever.
166
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,600
My fellow Americans,
it is my sad duty
167
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,640
to report some very disturbing
voter fraud.
168
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,800
This ballot was illegally cast
by a foreigner
169
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,600
seeking to interfere
in our elections.
170
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,520
The FBI has obtained
security videotape
171
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,480
of this foreign individual
which I will now play.
172
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,160
Whatever you say, Mr Trump.
173
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,080
I think that's the wrong video,
Mr President.
174
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,120
All right,
but this is the good part.
175
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,760
TV SMASHES
Now what do we watch, genius?
176
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,280
Actually, we caught the foreigner in
question last night in California.
177
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,040
Bring him in.
178
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,440
Prince Harry?
You're the illegal foreign voter?
179
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,000
HE BLOWS HIS NOSE
180
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,520
I just wanted to be
part of the process.
181
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,040
I feel so grateful
to live in America
182
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,800
where everyone gets to vote,
183
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,480
instead of being lorded over
by a wank like my brother.
184
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,400
They do vote in England too.
185
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,640
Really? I'm gobsmacked.
I guess I missed that in school.
186
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,360
According to this,
he voted for you, Donald.
187
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,760
What?
Your name was first on the list.
188
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,240
I thought that's how it worked.
189
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,360
We can't throw out that ballot, sir.
We need every vote.
190
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,480
No problem. Harry,
I hereby declare you a US citizen
191
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,200
if you can answer
this one simple question.
192
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,800
How many states are there
in the Union?
193
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,200
50.
Wrong. Damn it!
194
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,800
Jared, send this loser back home.
195
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,440
To England?
No, California.
196
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,360
I want you to suffer.
197
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,000
HE WHIMPERS
198
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,040
Safely back in the fox hole.
199
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,720
The future looks bright for Fox Man.
200
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,440
And I, Aneurin,
your faithful butler,
201
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,800
will be right there with you.
202
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,960
Only if approved
by the Butler Union,
203
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,800
pursuant to overtime limits
under the Working Time Directive.
204
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,120
SNORING
205
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,920
What can you tell us about this
mysterious vigilante?
206
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:06,320
Well, he was wearing a dead badger
or something.
207
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,720
It smelled of rotting flesh.
208
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,200
What a shame,
209
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,080
Fox Man is just another pervert
with a dead animal fetish.
210
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:19,200
More media smears.
Oh, God, am I turning into Corbyn?
211
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,160
TINKLING BELLS
212
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,040
Daddy, why did Christmas
come early this year?
213
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:29,480
Because there's a magic man
who wants everybody to love him.
214
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,400
And is he truly handsome and
does he wear a lovely, blue suit?
215
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,240
Yes, darling, he's Rishi Sunak
and he lives at the Treasury,
216
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,320
so he gives the best gift of all -
money.
217
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,080
If anyone ever says he isn't real,
tell 'em this.
218
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:47,080
# You better not gripe
You better not moan
219
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,680
# He's got virus grants
And emergency loans
220
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:55,640
# Rishi Sunak's helping us all
221
00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,200
# I've got a nice smile
And dark, shiny hair
222
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,080
# I throw around cash
So you know that I care
223
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:08,360
# Rishi Sunak's helping us all
224
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,160
# He knows your job is threatened
225
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,400
# Your bills keep you awake
226
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,120
# But Rishi's borrowed billions
227
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,000
# Have some cash, for goodness sake
228
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,320
# I crossed all the T's
I dotted the I's
229
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,560
# I wasted it all
On shit health supplies
230
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:32,160
# Rishi Sunak's helping us all
231
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:38,360
# He helped to bail the Arts out
Though he left it rather late
232
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,320
# I said "Delay your tax bill"
233
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,200
# I'll go broke at a later date
234
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,880
# We all went on furlough
235
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,600
# Rishi made the landing soft
236
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,320
# But only till October ends
237
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,760
# And then you're all laid off
238
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,000
# He's borrowed it all
We're deep in arrears
239
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,320
# The recession that's coming
Will last 80 years
240
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,840
# Rishi Sunak's helping us all
241
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,360
# You'll be left with nothing... #
242
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,640
Give me that.
243
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,560
# ..at all. #
244
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:21,520
Now do you believe?
Here's your present, little girl.
245
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,120
Something expensive that will last
for years and years.
246
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,600
You mean...? Yes, it's the tax bill
for all of this. Good luck, bye.
247
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,760
HE EATS NOISILY
248
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,240
Now, look, Marcus Rashford
is hauling us over the coals
249
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,880
about free school meals.
250
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,800
The thing to do is meet with him
face-to-face
251
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,600
and lay out our thoughts
and concerns
252
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,720
in a calm, sensible manner.
253
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,040
# We kept all the pies
The pizzas and the fries
254
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:02,240
# Marcus Rashford, do-good bastard
We kept all the pies. #
255
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,360
CROWD BOO
256
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,520
Hello, Elon.
257
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:16,480
Planning another diatribe
about how Amazon is a monopoly.
258
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,080
Or just gonna go,
"Wah, wah, short sellers"?
259
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,640
Your lame jabs cannot hurt me,
Bezos.
260
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,880
By November 3rd, I'll be on Mars.
261
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,560
I'm leaving before the inevitable
final catastrophe.
262
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,080
What about your
songbird wife Grimes?
263
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,720
She's at home working on music
to power our new civilisation.
264
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,000
# Mars, Grimes on Mars
265
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,280
# Red planet. #
266
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,440
I won't be taking her.
Musketeer, how are they swinging?
267
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,800
In unison, if you must know.
268
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,120
Push off, Branson,
we're discussing space travel.
269
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,280
Nothing that concerns you.
270
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,680
Virgin Galactic
pioneered commercial space travel.
271
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,720
A three-minute view
from low-Earth orbit
272
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,520
for a mere quarter million dollars.
273
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,280
WE are trying to get to Mars.
274
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,160
We? Hang on.
275
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,320
Since when do you have
a Mars programme?
276
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,040
I'm Amazon.
I can order anything I want for me.
277
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,040
Did I mention we offer snack service
like space corn?
278
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:17,840
Imagine gnawing it right off the cob
in zero G.
279
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,240
Then the race to Mars is on.
280
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,880
You versus me.
281
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,680
No, you versus ME.
282
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:27,000
And also me.
Branson makes three.
283
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,000
A toast to seal the wager. Gents?
284
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,520
Oh, we chaps have fun.
285
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,360
What is this thing?
It has a pleasant snap.
286
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,400
Like crushing an enemy's exoskeleton
beneath one's talon.
287
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,720
It's a poppadom.
288
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,920
You must have been to
a curry house before, Dominic?
289
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,120
Of course, there are many
curry houses on my home planet.
290
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,800
I mean my home town,
which is Epsilon-5.
291
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,880
I mean Durham.
292
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:57,720
Look, I'm making a move on Boris
and I want you on my team.
293
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,240
Yes. He is weak
and he won't let me eat his baby.
294
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,720
Exactly. You see,
we're a lot alike, you and I.
295
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,600
I'm from a humble fishing village,
you're an alien from Epsilon-5.
296
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,640
How did you know I'm an alien
from Epsilon-5?
297
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,320
I didn't until now.
Very clever.
298
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:19,080
We are alike. Zero empathy,
a total lack of moral core.
299
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,560
What dark and inhuman corner
of the galaxy are you from?
300
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,840
Scotland.
Plausible.
301
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,040
I am glad we are allies.
302
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,000
Me too. Try the curry.
303
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
Argh!
304
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,560
It contains turmeric,
a deadly poison to my race.
305
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,720
I suspected as much.
306
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,160
Sorry, old boy,
but only one can rule, you know.
307
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,760
Utterly despicable.
308
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,720
So you are Scottish!
309
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,240
HE GURGLES
310
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:54,000
Mr Zuckerberg, we believe Facebook
is being used by Russia
311
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,160
to disseminate misinformation.
312
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,960
I am shocked and surprised
to hear such an allegation.
313
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:03,560
Where did you say, Russia?
With an R?
314
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:08,200
Extremely divisive material is
constantly blasted on your platform
315
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,760
by what are called "troll farms".
316
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,640
This is the first time I've heard
even a hint of such things.
317
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,400
But I assure you I will personally
investigate this matter.
318
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:24,040
Although I very much doubt the
existence of these "troll farms".
319
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,960
The western inspector is here
320
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,920
to make sure we are legitimate
Facebook clients.
321
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,480
Change screens now!
I want to see kittens and puppies.
322
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,200
Kittens and puppies!
323
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,360
Mr Zuckerberg, welcome.
324
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,840
We are all biggest fans
of your book of faces.
325
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,320
That lines up with our data.
326
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,880
We traced a lot of messages
to this place,
327
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,760
so I came to make sure
everything is on the level.
328
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,760
Now, who is "Auntie Svetlana
who loves knitting"?
329
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,960
It is I.
Auntie, I love your knitting site
330
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,440
but could you maybe tone down
the rampant racism?
331
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,760
We'll try.
332
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,560
Great. And which one of you is
333
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,560
"14-year-old Timmy Johnson
from Sioux Falls"?
334
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,800
Is also me.
335
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,840
I hate to be sceptical,
but it's my job.
336
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:17,000
Aren't you kind of old and female
to be a 14-year-old boy?
337
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,160
Wow! And I thought we of America
338
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,040
is celebrating gender
and age fluidity.
339
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,640
We of America?
340
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,520
These are all red-blooded,
apple beet pie lovers
341
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,280
from the US and also A.
342
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,720
But what are you all doing out here
343
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,320
in the Anadyrsky District
of Chukotka Autonomous Okrug?
344
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,920
Is good Wi-Fi.
345
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,760
Well, I've done all that
could possibly be expected
346
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,880
to ensure the integrity of Facebook.
347
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,840
And now off to China
348
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,480
to check out Alabama Joe's
Spoonbread Cotillion.
349
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,920
HE HUMS
350
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,040
You?!
351
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,440
That's right, Govey.
352
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:59,040
But I thought that... You had safely
dumped me in the kitchen trash.
353
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,560
It turns out that
rancid frier grease
354
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,200
is the perfect antidote to turmeric.
355
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,560
And it's good for the joints.
356
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,320
You have made yourself
a powerful enemy.
357
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,600
Plus, you have to get the bill.
358
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,320
No!
359
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,440
In the week of Brexit,
we will no longer be asking you
360
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,040
to maintain
a distance of two metres.
361
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,680
Instead, we shall use a more
traditional British measurement,
362
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,520
the furlong.
363
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,320
So, from now on, please stay one
one-hundredth of a furlong apart.
364
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,400
Strong, furlong,
hopefully not for long.
365
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,600
How big's a furlong?
Ah, yes, to help with that,
366
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:44,280
we are bringing back another
great British tradition, the ruff.
367
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,520
Stay one ruff apart
and you'll be fine.
368
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,040
Ruff, tough,
hope to God it's enough.
369
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,240
The rockets are fuelled up
and the countdown has begun
370
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:01,880
for the Mars mission of Elon Musk,
Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson.
371
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,440
The world reacts as three
billionaires leave the planet
372
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,920
perhaps never to return.
373
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,440
CHEERING
374
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,520
OK, mission control,
all systems are go.
375
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,720
KNOCKING
376
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,640
Be safe, my dear, I know it's hard,
377
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,560
but here's a keepsake
so you'll never forget me.
378
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,920
# Mars, Grimes on Mars
379
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,480
# Red planet. #
380
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,520
Thank you, my dear.
381
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,960
I'm no longer afraid of death.
382
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,320
You're too late, Elon.
As an Amazon Prime subscriber,
383
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,400
I get expedited launches.
384
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,560
Stupid algorithm.
385
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,760
Although I am out.
Eat it, Bezos.
386
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,520
After millions of man hours, I've
developed an abbreviated countdown.
387
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,920
Who did that? Fire that guy!
388
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,560
'Lift-off.'
389
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,640
'Lift-off.'
I'm off.
390
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,360
Alexa, make me
my launch-day lemonade.
391
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,520
Too late, gentlemen,
I'm already on my way
392
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,160
with a tried and true solution.
393
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,680
'Branson, you dingbat.
394
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,800
'A balloon can't travel
through space.'
395
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,520
I can still go higher
than my space plane.
396
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,400
Oh, man, I'm getting spacesick.
397
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,560
Only one solution.
398
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,000
'Atmosphere contamination detected.
399
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,680
'Engage filtration.'
400
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,400
HE INHALES
401
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,880
Go get it, kitty.
402
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,120
CAT SQUEALS
403
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,680
Damn it, the ship's too heavy
for some reason.
404
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,240
# Mars, Grimes on Mars
405
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,200
# Red planet. #
406
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,960
HISSING AND GROWLING
407
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,320
Now, now, it's not that bad.
408
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,440
There, you're done.
409
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:49,240
SNUFFLING
410
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,920
Careful, I'm pumicing my corns.
411
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,560
It takes total concentration.
412
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,560
What do you do with
all those foot flakes?
413
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,880
I sell to company that make
White House snow globes.
414
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,960
So proud of you.
We're the world's greatest family.
415
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,280
Everybody's saying it.
416
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,920
Ready for bed, darling?
417
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,720
Just gotta remove my makeup.
418
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,000
All right, got my bed burger.
419
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,760
Let's hit the sack. Mwah.
420
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,080
So, whatever happens to those
billionaire idiots heading for Mars?
421
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,920
You can go and watch part two
of this episode online right now.
422
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:31,400
I'm not gonna pay good money
to watch some stupid puppets.
423
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,000
Although my puppet is the greatest
and I love it.
424
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,000
I'm gonna send 200 misspelled tweets
about how dumb that is.
425
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,160
No, can't someone else do it?
But who?
426
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,040
Who could really capture
my style and swagger?
427
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,520
Got it!
Oh, no!
428
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,840
Not that asshole.
429
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,920
HE FARTS AND STRAINS
430
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,160
SQUELCHING
431
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,920
HE STRAINS
432
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,080
SQUELCHING
Now what is it doing?
433
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,840
Jesus Christ.
434
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,880
The asshole subscribed to BritBox!
435
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,320
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