Original subtitles

Kibonnu-Back in Japan.

I'm going to Akiba with Hermes!

What?

By Akiba, do you mean that fortress of nerds called Akihabara?

Nerds like this?

And that?

And that?

THAT Akihabara?

Isn't that going too far with your coming out?

Details, please...In Japan!

Let me just give you a quick rundown of my phone conversation with her...

No, no, take your time!

For us, any exchange with girls is all so new!

Please, tease us with it, nice and slow...

Ok then. I'll tell you the whole story...

Do you remember your promise?

My promise?

Oh, you've forgotten.

Um...uh...

The com-pu-ter

Oh!

You've forgotten.

I'm sorry!

That's ok, but please help me pick one out next time.

Sure!

How did you switch to happy mode all of a sudden?

She's so cute, I can't help myself.

I can't believe I was the one telling you to go for it!

Troops! Troops!

My heart is pounding!

How do you plan to use your computer?

If I can use it for the Internet and E-mail, that's enough for me.

Then it's important for it to be easy to use.

Where do you usually go to buy a computer?

I usually go to Akiba-

Akihabara, that is-

Ok, then let's go there.

Oh but you don't have to go all that way-

I'd like to go where you always go.

I'd like to...get to know you better.

There's the bomb! There's still time! Run for shelter!

It's getting late, I'm logging!

This is the kind of conversation I dream about all day!

So this is an Akihabara date.

Go for it in Akihabara!

Forgive me, but in my dreams Hermes is dressed up as a maid...

A maid costume...

Welcome home, master.

No, no, she's too cute for him...

Should I take you to see a doctor?

Without a doubt, she'd look better in a one-piece flower-patterned dress with pigtails.

How's this?

I'm burning up!

I have to google her computer specs.

Please.

Sure.

Um...

Yes?

Want to hold hands?

Would you rather not?

With pleasure.

H-here you go.

I didn't ask you exactly what you wanted, so...

It may not be much help, but...

You've done all this for me?

This is the only thing I can do for you...

I'm so happy. Thank you very much.

Not at all.

So many people here have backpacks.

Are they planning to stay the night somewhere?

No, this is a day trip for them.

I'm glad you found something you like.

Thanks to you.

Not at all.

Want to take a picture with me?

Over there?

A picture together?

Would you rather not?

No, I'd be glad to!

It's a little strange, but it will be a nice keepsake.

Thank you!

You're amazing!

Yamada-shi!

Hello.

Aoyama-san is here, so let's get in Shibuya-mode.

Fancy meeting you here, dude!

Like, totally, dude.

No, you don't have to do that.

Dude, no clue what you are saying!

You don't have to be in Shibuya mode anymore.

Huh?

So you told her you're an otaku? That's a big step.

You've made some progress.

But, Aoyama-san, are you ok hanging out with our species?

Here you are. But, Aoyama-san, are you ok hanging out with our species?

But, Aoyama-san, are you ok hanging out with our species?

More than just ok, this is a lot of fun.

What a nice person!

You are about 23 levels above the office ladies and high school girls...

...who persecute us all the time.

That's the equivalent of about 15,000 experience points.

Levels? Experience points?

Do you often come to Akihabara?

About 4 times a week. We check out gal-games, figures, and show up at events...

Gal-games?

It's a game with beautiful girls...it's so MOE now.

MOE?

One more time, please.

MOE?

This is my secret place.

Really?

Yes.

You're the first person I've shown it to.

Then, from now on, this will be our secret place.

Sure!

When I come here, I can work up some courage.

So I only come here on special occasions.

So is it a special occasion today?

N-no, that's not what I meant...

Hey, that was your chance to tell her!

If not then, when?

He has to be sure that she's going to accept.

Umm...

Yes.

No...it's nothing.

I see.

Densha! Are you serious about getting together with her? I can't take this anymore!

I thought it was a chance for me too.

But we just made up, and if we start dating, what kind of person would I be?

Stop being such a wimp!

And you call yourself Japanese. What about the Yamato-spirit?

Yamato-spirit doesn't mean anything these days.

Since they're getting along so well, I don't see the hurry.

Pretty soon, he won't be able to keep from telling her.

Let's not push him anymore.

Densha should make his own decisions instead of listening to lame guys like us.

Densha, you'll know the time to tell her.

Relax, Densha. No matter what happens, I'm behind you.

Oh, yes! Oh! Oh!

What happened, Densha?

Densha's gone crazy!

Who got him so excited?

You guys were so pushy, and now he's lost it.

Come back to us, Densha!

Hermes just mailed me a picture of her in pajamas!

So you were all excited over her picture?

You dropped a bomb on us! And here we are, totally defenseless...

Pajamas? Is she in a neglige?

She's in pajamas.

And don't we look stupid for being so worried!

Do whatever you want, kid.

She's rolling around on her bed.

So cute...

Damn, I have never wanted to see her face this bad!

Everyone, who do you imagine she looks like?

I say Nakatani Miki.

I say Baisho Mitsuko in her prime.

No, no, I say Oba Kumiko.

Ogura Yuko a.k.a. Yuko-rin.

Kuninaka Ryoko!

You think girls that cute would hang out with Densha?

These dreams are the whole problem with you nerds...

Yes, but I like her better than any girl I've ever seen on TV.

You Suck...

Densha, I don't know what you're thinking, but she's not your girl yet.

You said it!

So make her yours!

Don't forget, she owes you, not the other way around.

That's right. Even if she wants to, she might not be able to refuse you.

You guys are confusing him more and more.

That's right.

You guys are right. I don't know what I was thinking. A man should know his limits.

I'm going to install her PC in her room.

I thought I'd finally tell her, but now I guess I won't.

I'm going to sleep. Good night.

Just a minute! What do you mean, her room?!

Why didn't you tell us something that important first?

You have to tell her!

We shouldn't have been so pushy!

We were just kidding, so tell us when you're going to see her!

Densha, don't you dare sleep!

Response please! Response please!

The train can't run without you!

This way please.

Excuse me.

Mother, this is Yamada-san.

Welcome.

Saori, where is he?

What do you mean? This is Yamada-san.

N-n-nice to meet you. I-I-I'm Yamada.

Saori, you've got your contacts on right?

Yes, I do.

Then, is this some kind of joke?

He looks like some kind of rodent to me.

Mom, you're being rude.

Well!

I got my hopes up and everything.

Nice meeting you.

Please come to my room.

Ok.

Hello, Aoyama residence.

Please come in.

Is this your room?

I'll bring some tea, so please make yourself comfortable.

Ok

Yamada seems like a nice person. And if you squint, he doesn't look that bad.

Your attitude is completely different from just a minute ago.

Really?

Well, how about this?

Let's invite Yamada-san to dinner with the whole family on Sunday.

You're acting strange.

It smells so good.

Is everything all right?

Ah... its nothing...

It's a nice computer.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Can I help with anything?

No, I'll have it running in just a minute.

Ok.

It's been hot recently.

Yes, I don't really like the summer.

Really?

I don't like it because I can't hide my body type when I wear summer clothes.

But you're slim, so I don't think there is any problem.

That's the problem.

Huh?

My mother and friends tell me that I'm too skinny, and have no curves.

Oh really?

I suppose I'll never have a boyfriend being like this.

What? You don't have a boyfriend?

No.

How about a fiance?

What do you mean?

We have confirmation! She's available!

Free!

Is everything all right?

Yes.

But I think that no matter whether you are slim or fat, you're a wonderful person.

Other men just don't have the sense to see it.

Please, don't lead me on like that.

Tell her.

Tell her.

TELL HER.

Um...

Please, you go first.

Actually, I was going to ask you if you'd like to eat dinner with my family on Sunday?

Dinner?

Sure.

Ok, I'll give you more details later.

Ok.

With her family?

What am I going to do? Dinner with her family!

From what she says, it seems her father will not come, though.

Oh, no, why did I accept?

See, ignoring us was a mistake.

I guess you still have some trials before you tell her.

But with the father not being there, you only have to worry about Hermes and her mother.

Yes, being liked by Hermes and her mother is now your top priority mission.

Rich women will obviously pay attention to your appearance.

It's not just the rich. My mother also doesn't like guys dressed like slobs.

That doesn't help us here.

But of course you should go dressed up.

I wonder if I can't just wear my normal dress clothes?

For dinner with the family, you should wear a suit.

If he wears a suit, everyone will pick up on his lack of fashion sense.

Wear a tuxedo!

If you have a question about suits, ask me. I could go on for 3 hours.

By the way, are there other things you should be careful about at the dinner?

You know your table manners, right?

Table manners?

asdafawewas...

I guess he doesn't.

I'll teach you how to eat a banana like a prince...

It's important to have fun while you're eating.

Go to a seminar.

This is a current topic in the newspaper.

So you guys are talking about a new suit and table manners?

Looks like it's that time again!

Densha-Otoko, Revamped, Part 2!

2...

Excuse me, where did you buy that suit?

With suits, it's more important to make an impression than to be trendy.

This magazine says you should ask your coworkers who are dressed nicely.

Oikawa-san, where did you buy that suit?

Was it Paris, Milan, or New York?

Oh yes, this is a suit I bought in Milan.

Well, mine is not as nice as Oikawa-kun's, but this is an Italian suit...

It's not as nice as Oikawa-kun's though...

Talk to your boss. They usually dress in style!

Really? Wow!

Yeah, you know, I don't feel like wearing Japanese suits anymore...

I know what you mean.

I see.

But this is written in Japanese.

Well, you see...well...huh?

It's important to communicate with Hermes' mother.

But being eloquent is a little beyond Densha.

Why don't you just compliment her?

Everyone likes to be complimented.

You'll have to bend over backwards for her.

What are you doing? God, you're disgusting.

Oh, Jinnkama-san, no one has a sharper tongue than you.

Are you trying to start a fight?

No matter what happens, keep smiling.

Nice shot!

You look so young today with all that make-up on!

You make me sick!

Very nice! You look so attractive with that spaced-out expression on your face.

Nice shot!

Death.

I'm sure she'll smile back.

Oh, that felt good.

Last is Table Manners.

Don't hold the knife upside-down, or make sucking sounds when you have your soup.

Above all, you should have good manners.

Are you sure this is ok?

Yes, this is what I have to do to learn it quickly.

Start with the knife and fork on the outside.

Got it.

What are you guys doing?

Can you take over for me? Just push this if he messes up.

Ok, I'll be a nice judge for him.

Use your napkin to wipe your mouth...

...before you drink.

Oh, that's too much...too much!

Oh, sorry.

Something wrong?

Your face.

Yamada's having dinner with you and your family?

Yes, but we haven't found a nice restaurant yet.

Saori, you bought a PC recently right?

Why don't you find one on the Net?

So you're surfing on the Net?

Hey, have you guys heard of the Aladdin Channel?

Aladdin Channel?

It's a board where you can get advice about anything.

Yes, but I heard that only total losers that love gossip use boards like that.

Oh, what a shame...I was going to use it to ask about men.

Saori, I have a friend who runs a nice restaurant.

Really?

Really.

Notice of Divorce

Thank you for having me here today.

You don't need to be so nervous.

Can I go?

No, I need you here.

But this has nothing to do with me.

Thank you for coming to our restaurant today.

Mr. Kazuya Sakurai has made a reservation, and in fact,

in consideration of these special circumstances,

Mr. Kazuya Sakurai has reserved the entire restaurant this evening.

Wow, that's amazing. The whole restaurant for us?

We are always indebted to Mr. Kazuya Sakurai. Please, enjoy your meal.

Hey, you told them my name three times, right?

Yes, your full name. Three times.

Ok, everyone listen up. This restaurant is mine tonight.

You will follow all my orders. Got it?

Yes, sir!

Densha, this is the end for you.

It's spicy.

Mm, this is good.

It's refreshing.

It's good, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

"For Yamada"

Thank you.

Drink! Drink! Drink!

It's hot!

Drink! Drink!

That's right! Drink up so we can bring out the main dish!

I can't hold it.

Please excuse me.

All right!

Come on out!

Fake Tsuyoshi.

We're counting on you.

Are you sure you want to use me?

Huh? No problem, you look just like him. Don't worry. Ok, let's do it.

Ok.

Dad?

Did he say "dad"?

Hold on! Not now!

What's the meaning of this?

Mom, tell us what's going on.

Mom?

I have nothing to talk about with just the two of us here.

That's why I asked you to come.

Unbelievable.

Why didn't you tell us?

Because if I had, you wouldn't have come!

Of course we wouldn't have.

Yuki.

Did you bring it?

Let's not talk about it here.

So that's your plan. Running away again. Just sign it here.

Dad, not here.

Excuse me.

Who are you?

I-I-I'm...

Yamada Tsuyoshi-san. My friend.

I see...

I'm Saori's father.

What?

I'm sorry, but I have a important matter to discuss with my family.

Would you excuse us?

Ok, I'll go now.

I'm sorry.

Thank you all.

I need to get going too. Good night.

It's been 8 years.

You said you didn't want a divorce till Keisuke graduated from college.

So I waited. This has gone on long enough.

I have plans tonight. Let's get this over with.

She's waiting for you?

That's of no concern to you.

Mom, it's over.

Keisuke, you be quiet.

This is a problem for all of us.

Thanks to the two of you, Saori has lost trust in men.

Keisuke...

Don't involve us in this.

Is that right, Saori?

Like you care!

You keep quiet.

Keisuke, stop!

E-excuse me.

I forgot something.

I'm leaving.

Hurry up and get it.

Excuse me.

You're still here?

No.

I think marriage is an amazing thing.

Just dating someone is such a difficult thing,

Proposing to someone, meeting their parents, buying a ring,

having a wedding, it must take an unimaginable

amount of courage.

What are you trying to say?

Be quiet.

Actually, I don't know what I am really trying to say...

but I don't want to see Aoyama-san sad...

I have a father and mother too.

Unlike your family, my father is completely undependable,

and my mother is almost never home...

but they always laugh...at stupid things.

So I laugh along with them.

Children want their parents to be happy...more than anyone else.

They want their parents to laugh.

I'm sorry.

Here you go. The notice of divorce. I signed it and everything.

Yuki...

See you later.

Mom.

Saori, I think I know why you picked him now.

Go ahead.

Saori.

I'm sorry.

Dad!

See you later.

I can't believe it...Densha Otoko.

Um...

Would you like to hold hands?

Yes.

That's it...

Wow! I could cry, Densha!

Someone must have cast a spell on that suit.

No, he didn't need the suit after all.

The only thing matters is that everything went ok.

And it looks like Hermes' mother approves of you.

Mission cleared!

That takes care of your blind spot.

Now it's time to tell her!

It's getting exciting!

Speaking of excitement, this board's been getting pretty famous.

Lots of people are getting interested.

Finding out about interesting places is a common habit of people.

That's right, I heard some high school girls talking about this thread.

My friend knew about it too. I was surprised.

We've gotten famous.

But, if it's gotten this big, someday Hermes will learn about this board.

It's possible her friends will find out about it too.

Oh no! Oh no!

What do you think, Densha?

I don't think it's such a big deal.

How can you say that?

How can you take it so lightly?

All your inner thoughts are written here.

"Oh, oh, this is looking good." "I have no experience with women."

Everything you've written is there for her to check.

"Find a restaurant for me, guys." She's going to find out about that too.

She's going to find out about me too!

We're all anonymous, so what does it matter?

Densha, she's going to find out about you getting excited over her picture.

Don't scare me like that.

Densha, this is a HUGE problem!

If she finds out, there's no doubt Hermes is going to hate you.

No matter how nice she is, Hermes is not going to forgive you for exposing her like this.

As a woman, I don't think I would like being talked about like this.

That's a sincere opinion.

Talking about your first date, and holding hands...

From a woman's perspective, that's something that should be kept between the two of you.

Having all your casual comments written down...

...would ruin everything.

The stalker was something she only talked to you about.

If she sees that on the Net, she'll probably cry.

Putting her misunderstanding about your surfing on display would be tough on her too.

She could see this as you disclosing all the details of her private life.

After reading all your messages, I think Hermes could see this as a betrayal of trust!

BETRAYAL

betrayal?

I never even considered that.

Was I betraying her trust in me?

Well, anyway, this is a "what-if" situation, don't worry about it.

So you're saying just drop it like this? That's not going to work.

I think you should tell her before she finds out on her own.

Densha, if you feel guilty, then tell her.

But if you tell her, she's going to hate you!

There's not even a 1 percent chance she's going to find out.

It's not a betrayal if she doesn't find out.

I think if you tell her, she'll understand.

No, way, you guys will be finished.

She's going to die from shock when she sees it.

If she finds out, you have no chance to go to the World Cup. Benoist!

Respond, soldier!

Densha, talk to us!

Are you listening?

I've tried everything, but I can't make it back to that world.

Farewell, Densha!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Wait a minute! Could this little piece be the problem?

Alright. Wait for me, Densha! Ok, where does this go?

Hey, what are you doing?

Is this...?

No, it's not.

What does this mean?

I have no idea what you mean.

Why are they talking about my sister?

Did you write about her?

No way!

Then it must be him. Yamada.

So you got together with me to spy on my sister?

No way!

I've been such a fool.

Hey, wait!

It's not like we're trying to scare you, Densha.

It's just that if she finds out, she's going to explode.

We're telling you this because we're thinking of you.

We don't want to see you hurt.

But if you tell her, she'll go crazy for sure!

Are you willing to throw away all you've worked for?

I wonder if this means we're always going to be single.

But no matter what, we want this to work out.

We're thinking about you when we say this. Don't tell her!

I think that whether you betrayed her or not is all in the way you look at it.

But I'd like you give us an answer based on what this board means to you.

I was happy to read your messages.

Thank you all for your concern.

But I can't let things go on like this.

I've told you guys everything about the two of us.

She might see that as a terrible thing.

But without you guys,...

...there is no way we would have gotten together.

If I hadn't written you guys about us,...

...I never would have had any self-esteem.

And I never would have met friends as great as you.

I made it this far because you guys were right with me.

I'm proud of this board.

So I'm going to go and tell her about it.

I'm going to tell her about all of you, my dear friends.

I want her to understand.

There are feelings I can't express in words.

I'm sorry guys.

And, thank you.

What happened? You look angry.

You've been played by that guy Yamada.

That bastard's been writing about you on the Net.

He wrote about the day you met him, and your trauma.

He's been laughing at you, telling everyone.

It can't be.

Oh, no.

"Oh, yes! Oh! Oh!"

What a bastard.

"...stalker..." "...surfing..."

He totally stabbed you in the back.

Translated by densha-lover Timed by Sirynx77

Special thanks to pocemit for providing the episode raw file.

There are probably still some errors in timings. Gomen... we will try to fix them later.