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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,960 We've got 48 hours to make this 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,960 So, work your magic. 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,960 SAM: Even when we're preparing 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,000 we're always hiding something. 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,960 Thanks. 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,960 SAM: And no matter what we see... 7 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,960 Erm, perhaps the rear exit, 8 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,960 ..rest assured, 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,320 My Italian readers 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,960 A European princess 11 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,960 Perfect. 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,960 Oh, thanks. 13 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,480 Oh, excuse me! 14 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:50,960 I'm so sorry. 15 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,960 Forgive me. 16 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,960 Gennaro Fazio. 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,960 Editor, Certo! magazine. 18 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,960 Juliet Miller. 19 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,800 General Manager. 20 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:00,960 Forgive me. 21 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,960 What's Certo! again? 22 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,960 This is how you make a deal. 23 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,960 Our royal couple won't pay us 24 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,960 but in return 25 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,960 Which Certo! magazine 26 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,960 So, we're sorted. 27 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960 Why are you looking like that? 28 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,960 I've just come off the phone 29 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,640 The bride's run off 30 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,960 The wedding's cancelled. 31 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,960 SAM: That's the thing with 32 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,320 Sometimes, the carpet gets moved. 33 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,960 Shit... 34 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,960 What if we went ahead? 35 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,160 Er, I don't think 36 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,000 you know, without a bride, 37 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,960 What if we had a bride, 38 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,960 What do you mean, a bride and groom? 39 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,960 Well, you know, can we get someone 40 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960 you know, and the fiance? 41 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,160 You mean, fake the wedding? 42 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,640 Erm, Sam, 43 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:09,960 No punch line. 44 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,480 Just our tax bill came in and it's 45 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,000 Well, then, go to the bank 46 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,960 I tried. I'm mortgaged up to the 47 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,960 Well, you know what happened 48 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,960 And I was really counting 49 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,960 Sam, it's fraud. 50 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,480 It's PR. 51 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,960 And Fazio had never 52 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,960 He just wanted a spread. 53 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,960 And, you know, maybe he wouldn't 54 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,960 Well, what happens 55 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,960 Well, we just... 56 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,000 She's not Princess Sylvie, 57 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,960 she's Princess Marianne, 58 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,960 It's a hell of a risk. 59 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,960 No, no, find some other way 60 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,960 Look, Jules, didn't we agree 61 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,960 I can't do this without you. 62 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,960 First things first. Mandy Warren is 63 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,960 Shark Girl? 64 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,960 Only 16, but an Olympic hopeful. 65 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,160 And she's here filming an ad 66 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,960 Now, I want her kept super happy. 67 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,960 So, everyone, 68 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,950 Spend a lot of money, does she? 69 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,950 We are getting 70 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:20,950 so, anything she wants, she gets. 71 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:22,960 So, keep an eye on her, OK? 72 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,320 Now, James, 73 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,800 What's that? 74 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,960 and James has a restaurant trainee 75 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,960 Yes. And no doubt with an ASBO 76 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,960 Well, just do your best. 77 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:40,960 Now, as you're all aware, tomorrow's 78 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,960 I was looking forward 79 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,960 I had my hair cut and everything. 80 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,150 Hm? 81 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,960 We're going ahead with it anyway. 82 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,960 The wedding. 83 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,960 Due to a small accounting error, 84 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,960 A wedding with no bride or groom? 85 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,960 They just won't be all that real. 86 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,960 We're going to fake it. 87 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,320 It's my fault. 88 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,960 It's a big drop. 89 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,960 But the truth is, 90 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,960 One that gets very big and very 91 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,960 We made a deal with 92 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,960 All we do 93 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,960 for some wedding snaps that 94 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,960 and, er, Bob's your uncle. 95 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,800 We'll make it work. 96 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,960 Celebrities fake relationships 97 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,640 when they're flogging something. 98 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,960 Surely we're not agreeing to this, 99 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,960 The alternative is 100 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,960 sell off part of the hotel. 101 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,960 New management when we just start 102 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,960 No. 103 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960 Look, I think the idea 104 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,960 but I don't want to lose my job. 105 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,150 So, you're the boss. If you say 106 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:51,960 Well, in my humble opinion, 107 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,960 What choice do we have? 108 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,960 OK, the wedding is set for tomorrow. 109 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,960 Gino, find some cheap fizz. 110 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,960 Emily, 111 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,960 And, James, 112 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,160 Oh... 113 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,000 We need expensive-looking on the 114 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,640 OK, well, that's it, everybody. 115 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,960 James, what do you really think 116 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960 Oh, well, 117 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,960 from my day of hell with the 118 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,960 Oh, morning, squire. 119 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,960 You're my trainee? 120 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,960 Lovely little bistro 121 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,960 I bet there's no spam on the menu. 122 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,960 HE STIFLES A LAUGH 123 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,960 Ahem! 124 00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:56,960 Hey, have you seen my parents? 125 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,960 I'm afraid not, madam. 126 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,160 I think the correct form of address 127 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,800 Yeah, whatever. She swims faster 128 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,960 I've eaten so many chocolates today. 129 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,960 Just through here on the left. 130 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,960 OK. 131 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,960 Your shape's good, 132 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,960 Try to keep it smooth, OK? 133 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,960 Then we need to tighten those 134 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,960 Everything satisfactory, madam? 135 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960 We need some grass juice. 136 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,960 And Mandy needs more towels. 137 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,960 Miss Warren, nice to meet you. 138 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,960 I wanted to say, if there's anything 139 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,960 Maybe a magazine and some DVDs. 140 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,960 That's enough, darling. 141 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,960 Never mind. 142 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,960 I didn't think we'd be planning 143 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,960 We didn't plan anything. 144 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,960 You were in Monaco 145 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,960 Which later turned out to be dead. 146 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,160 Er, we need to sort out a bride 147 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,960 Emily knows some actors, 148 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960 No. 149 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,960 We need to use people we know. 150 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,960 No, not "us" us. 151 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:10,960 Us, the team. 152 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,480 Trust me, 153 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,960 You know, I'm surprised 154 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,000 Not as surprised as I am. 155 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,000 Oh, my God! Kenneth, Kenneth... 156 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,960 Oh...! 157 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,960 What next, mon capitaine? 158 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960 Oh, go and lay tables 159 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,320 Do it sitting down if you must. 160 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,960 Out. 161 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,960 Well, that glue sniffing 162 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,960 How old did you say he was, 16, 17? 163 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,640 Is that my grass? 164 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,320 Your youngster a cow, is she? 165 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,800 Shark Girl herself 166 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:01,960 Ah, teenagers. 167 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,960 LOUD CRASH 168 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:04,960 Ah, pensioners. 169 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960 A European princess and the son of 170 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,160 are getting married 171 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,960 Hm... 172 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,000 A pretend princess 173 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,960 and a pretend wedding, you mean. 174 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,000 Yeah, all right, 175 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,960 You two, such chemistry. 176 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:24,960 What a team. 177 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,960 Ben, a model of old-world elegance. 178 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,960 Emily, so regal, so graceful. 179 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,960 Like a princess. 180 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,960 You two would make 181 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,000 HE CHUCKLES 182 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,960 Congratulations, 183 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,960 and Mr Henry DeWitt. 184 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,960 Ben, it has to be you. 185 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,960 Look, Ben, just imagine it. 186 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,800 Your bride, 187 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,960 A string quartet 188 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,960 And white roses 189 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,000 And unicorns. 190 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,960 Look, I know you can do it. 191 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,960 We're just going to dress you up, 192 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,960 it'll be over in less than an hour. 193 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,960 SHE GASPS 194 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,960 You're the only person I considered. 195 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,960 Well... 196 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:11,960 If I'm your first choice. 197 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:12,960 Fantastic. 198 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,960 You two are going to be great. 199 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,800 I'm getting married! 200 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,960 Fancy a part in the wedding? 201 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,960 Me? 202 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,960 I've never been asked 203 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,960 Well, thank the vicar, tell 204 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:29,960 Easy. 205 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,000 Hm... 206 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:38,960 Gino... 207 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,160 I need a favour. 208 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,960 Like you said, 209 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,640 I bought it from a man 210 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,960 It's cheaper than water. 211 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,960 Well, I usually use it for stains, 212 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,960 What's your favour? 213 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,960 I need a father of the bride. 214 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,960 Oh, I'm very flattered 215 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,960 But the father of the bride, 216 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,960 I can't think of anyone suitable. 217 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,960 What, me? 218 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,960 Oh... 219 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,960 Well, I'm very moved. I'm not 220 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,960 You can count on me. 221 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,960 Sam, Emily's just taken a call 222 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,640 He's on his way with a photographer. 223 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,000 Look, I'll sort out 224 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,800 And then we need to prep 225 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,960 and tell everyone with a role to 226 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,960 OK, you get Ben. Meet me 227 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,800 Miss! Miss! 228 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,960 Gorgeous bridesmaid? 229 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,480 Sexy ring bearer? 230 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,960 Well, actually, 231 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,960 so I need you to man the front desk. 232 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,480 And find 100 wedding guests, 233 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,960 OK? Right. 234 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,800 Your glass of green gloop, miss. 235 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:49,960 Oh! 236 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,800 Mandy, sit down. Raise your foot. 237 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,960 I'm so sorry. 238 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,960 It's fine. 239 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,960 I'll phone the insurance people. 240 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,000 Well, get a first-aid kit! 241 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,960 GERMAN ACCENT: "I am Princess 242 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,960 "And back home, I have five pet pigs 243 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,800 Pugs. 244 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:21,960 You have five pet pugs. 245 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,960 And can we have 246 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,960 and a little less Nosferatu. 247 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960 I need a wig. 248 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,960 OK, we'll find you a wig. 249 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,640 I'm Scottish? 250 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,960 TERRIBLE SCOTTISH ACCENT: So, 251 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,960 No. 252 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,960 TELEPHONE RINGS 253 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960 Just relax. 254 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960 OK. 255 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,640 That was Tanya. 256 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,960 First-aid kit. 257 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,960 The insurance bloke's 258 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,960 We can't risk an infection. 259 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,960 Dad, this is really silly. 260 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,960 But we can't afford 261 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,960 I know these ads are boring for you, 262 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,960 but they make everything else 263 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,960 This man is going to take you 264 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,960 and you can do some upper-body work, 265 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,960 Fine. 266 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,160 Do you enjoy this kind of thing? 267 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,960 It pays a year's bills. 268 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,960 Training, travel, hotels, 269 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,960 Yeah, 270 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,960 They gave up their jobs to support 271 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,960 And did they used to swim? 272 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,960 Mum can't even swim. 273 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,960 My grandmother used to take me 274 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,960 when I was a kid. 275 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,960 I don't know. 276 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960 Her and Mum... 277 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:39,960 ..had a row. 278 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,960 It's just through here. 279 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,960 I'm sure you know what's what. 280 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,800 I'll get you some towels. 281 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,960 OK, you're not actually going to be 282 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,960 You're making me look bad. 283 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,960 SHE SCOFFS 284 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,960 I should have brought 285 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,960 Would have made this a lot easier. 286 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,960 Wait... 287 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960 Just turn it down. 288 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,960 The minus button on the right. 289 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,960 Pull the red key out. 290 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,960 Whoa! 291 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,640 SHE LAUGHS 292 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:25,960 I'm Jo. 293 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,960 Nice to meet you. 294 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,960 What's going on? 295 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,960 Who's this? 296 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,960 Mum, this is Jo. 297 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,960 Remove her. 298 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,960 Mum... 299 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,960 And trust me, 300 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,960 Nice mum, Mandy. 301 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960 Horrible girl. 302 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960 Mandy, 30 minutes on the weights, 303 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,960 and then up to the room 304 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,960 I'm expecting a delivery 305 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960 I'll come and get it. 306 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,960 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 307 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,960 Princess Marianne of Liechtenstein 308 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,800 Don't they make a lovely couple? 309 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,960 I thought it was Princess Sylvie 310 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,960 Oh, our PR girl made a mistake 311 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,800 I'll rectify it for you. 312 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,960 I'm not sure I can handle this. 313 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,480 Keep it together, Henry. 314 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,960 Think of our unborn children. 315 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,960 OK, I think we need the money shot. 316 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,800 Huh? 317 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,960 A kiss. 318 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,960 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 319 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,960 Hm... 320 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:51,960 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 321 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,800 Perfect. Bravo. 322 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,960 Well done. Well done. 323 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,960 Thank you so much. 324 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,960 You make a stunning couple. 325 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,960 Thank you very much. 326 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,960 Can I ask why you chose to marry 327 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,960 Well... 328 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,960 ..it's where we first met. 329 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,960 That's a beautiful story. 330 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,160 Three years ago. 331 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,480 We first met here in the hotel 332 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,160 And then we met last year at a party 333 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,960 and that is when 334 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,480 It is a very special place for us. 335 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,960 Herzlichen Gluckwunsch 336 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,960 Er... 337 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,960 Danke schon. 338 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,960 Entschuldigung, bitte. 339 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,800 Naturlich. Bis Morgen. 340 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:52,960 SHE GASPS 341 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,000 Are you OK? 342 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,960 Whoa... 343 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,960 That kiss... 344 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:00,960 ..wasn't sick-making. 345 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:03,960 Oh. 346 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,960 Thank you. 347 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,960 One last thing. 348 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,960 will be arriving here tonight 349 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,960 Excuse me? 350 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,960 and he knows the Princely House 351 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,960 I took the liberty of inviting him. 352 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,960 Please, you will show him 353 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,000 Of course, Gennaro. 354 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,960 Until tomorrow. 355 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,160 She say, "Papa, you are 356 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,960 Gino... 357 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,960 What do you know about 358 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,960 Ah! 359 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,160 Well, you need a very good 360 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,960 Very naughty. 361 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,320 Pure filth. 362 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,960 OK, could you, er...? 363 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,960 Come on, James, spit out. 364 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,960 Could you tell me some? 365 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:01,960 Yes. 366 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,960 HE SIGHS 367 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,960 GINO CLEARS HIS THROAT 368 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,960 There is a priest, a whore 369 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:11,960 Oh, God... 370 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,960 The donkey, he looked down, 371 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,960 Hey, isn't that 372 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,000 I don't get it. 373 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,960 Oh, my God, Tristram! 374 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,960 There you go, sir. 375 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,960 In those days, there weren't any 376 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,320 or anything like that. 377 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:39,800 If you wanted a beast knocked out, 378 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,960 Tristram! 379 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,800 How wonderful to see you. 380 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,480 If I could just interject 381 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,960 Of course. 382 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960 Kenneth, would you come with me, 383 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,960 Thank you. Excuse us. 384 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,960 Why are you talking 385 00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,800 When I was a waiter in Tangiers 386 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,960 We're not in Tangiers in '55. 387 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,960 The modern dining experience 388 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,960 Polite. Efficient. 389 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,960 And, above all, unobtrusive. 390 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960 Oh, just go into the kitchen 391 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,960 Do whatever Chef tells you. 392 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:18,960 Kenneth... 393 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,320 That way. 394 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960 I need one limo for ten minutes. 395 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,000 It's a wedding, sort of. 396 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,960 Yeah, he just has to pick them up 397 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,960 Thanks, mate. 398 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,960 Waiter, more oysters. 399 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,960 Oi, nosy. 400 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,960 So, which room 401 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,960 She's the only person 402 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,960 that is not a thousand years old. 403 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,960 It's so boring 404 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,960 Could you do me a favour? 405 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,960 Take these up to the Alexandra Suite 406 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,320 Do I look like you're caring droid? 407 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,960 But if you do, you might meet 408 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,960 Thanks, mate. 409 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,960 Hey. 410 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,960 You are one elusive swimming 411 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,960 Oh, the hotel did give me this junk 412 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,960 Why don't you turn the telly on 413 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,960 What's it like being famous? 414 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,960 I don't know, really. 415 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,960 I kind of expected your room 416 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,960 with little white fluffy puppies 417 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,640 I don't know. 418 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,640 Well, come on, 419 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,000 How much do you get paid for it? 420 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,960 60,000, I think. 421 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,960 Well, it's enough to pay for hotels 422 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,640 Is it? 423 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,960 Isn't it? 424 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,960 It's costing my dad, 425 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,960 for just this week. 426 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,960 Look, I don't know, 427 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,960 Why do you even care? 428 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,800 Now, these are an ad fee right here. 429 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,960 I have totally got to become a 430 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,960 Once you've mastered the treadmill. 431 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,960 SHE SPEAKS RAPIDLY IN ITALIAN 432 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,000 Tanya, you're on count watch. 433 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,480 We cannot have this man 434 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,960 He's an Italian count and he knows 435 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960 If you see him, 436 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,480 OK. 437 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:39,960 Tony... 438 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,960 Er, can you give me a minute? 439 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,960 James, where's the Warrens? 440 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:48,960 Why? 441 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,960 No, Mandy, darling, 442 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:51,960 Mum...! 443 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,960 I haven't got time 444 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,960 Mum, I don't care! 445 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,960 Mum, we weren't doing anything. 446 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,960 Sorry, actually, it was my fault. 447 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,960 But I told you that 448 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,960 Yes, but I thought that 449 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,960 You know how teenage girls are. 450 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,960 What Mandy needs 451 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,960 so that she can concentrate 452 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,640 Now, both of you, out. 453 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,960 Mum, she is my friend. 454 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,800 Mandy, you've known her 455 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,960 Well, that's all the time I have 456 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,960 We've talked this through 457 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,960 We all have to make sacrifices. 458 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,960 And I thought my mum was a bad-arse. 459 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,960 Yeah, she is a little demanding, 460 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,960 You know Mandy's 461 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,960 Well, the shark equivalent 462 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,960 Sardines. 463 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,640 Oh, my God... 464 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,960 What if they're ripping her off? 465 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,960 I mean, 466 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,800 Those are rich people's shoes. 467 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,960 And trust me, I would know. 468 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,320 Let's not jump to any conclusions, 469 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,960 Look, put it this way, 470 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,960 never have I been so glad 471 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,960 ITALIAN ACCENT: Good evening. 472 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:10,960 Wedding? 473 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,000 You must be mistaken, sir. 474 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,960 But this is the hotel, er, 475 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:19,960 That's not us. 476 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,960 Right, well, perhaps I can speak 477 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,960 A good idea. 478 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,960 KENNETH: Get some water! 479 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,960 What has he done now?! 480 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:32,960 Hold that. 481 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:33,960 Kenneth! 482 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,960 FIRE ALARM WAILS 483 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,160 Can't you do anything right, 484 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,960 It... 485 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,160 A mistake?! 486 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,480 You are a bloody health hazard! 487 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,960 You shouldn't be at work. 488 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,000 You... 489 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,480 You should be in a home! 490 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,960 Ah! Ah! 491 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,960 If I could fire you... 492 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,800 ..I would. 493 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,960 Erm, sir, Signore Fazio 494 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,800 He was mistaken. The wedding's 495 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,960 Oh? 496 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,960 Why did you not say that to me? 497 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,960 Oh, well done. Good lad. 498 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,960 I would offer you 499 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,960 but, unfortunately, 500 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,960 So, I'll have my concierge phone you 501 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,960 Well, please excuse us. 502 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,960 Well, it looks like 503 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:36,960 Ah, Fazio! 504 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,160 Juliet. 505 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,960 Gennaro. 506 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,320 Ah, when you find a hotel you like, 507 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,960 it seems crazy 508 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,160 And besides, 509 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,000 Well, it's a pleasure 510 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,960 I was hoping to book a room, 511 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,160 Of course. Erm, I'll show Gennaro 512 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,480 Keep him up there. 513 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,960 Perhaps we could have, erm, 514 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,640 Clear. 515 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,960 I see things are progressing 516 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,960 Is there time for a word? 517 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,960 James? 518 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:19,960 Oh! 519 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,960 Sorry. Fazio's back. 520 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,960 Oh, God! Where? 521 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:25,960 Juliet's taking care of it. 522 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,960 What did you want? 523 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,000 Oh, I bumped into Helga 524 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,960 and she was sobbing her eyes out. 525 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,960 She'd accidentally set fire to a pan 526 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,960 I thought I'd come and tell you 527 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,960 Oh, no... 528 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,960 Tristram! 529 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:46,960 Back so soon? 530 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,000 Yes, I just dropped in 531 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,320 Eight o'clock all right? 532 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,960 And I want to talk to you 533 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,960 Tristram, I know. 534 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,960 Oh... 535 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,960 I was rather hoping my wife 536 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,640 I'll make sure Kenneth is here. 537 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,960 So, what can I do for you, Tony? 538 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,960 I'd like to know how much we're 539 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,960 I realise it's confidential, but... 540 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,960 I should have held out 541 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,960 but three and a half's not bad. 542 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,960 So, that makes her fee... 543 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,000 What do you want to know for? 544 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,320 Er, thank you. 545 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,640 It's all right, Kenneth, 546 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,960 Kenneth, I, erm... 547 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,960 I owe you an apology. 548 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,480 I know now the fire 549 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:53,960 Well, the poor girl was rushed off 550 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,960 That's all. 551 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,160 You just took it when I... 552 00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,960 When I shouted at you. 553 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,960 The truth is, 554 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,960 ..twilight years and I thought... 555 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,960 I'm 74. 556 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,960 And I don't think 557 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,960 What you don't get, Mr Schofield, 558 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,960 is that you need to pay respect 559 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,960 Because that's 560 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,960 It's not the decor or the menu. 561 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,960 It's not even the food. 562 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,960 And, er... 563 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,960 ..I like to refer to my years 564 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,960 Not twilight. 565 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,640 Quite right. 566 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,960 Look, Ken... 567 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,960 ..would you take table orders 568 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,960 I would very much appreciate it 569 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,800 Do you know, 570 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,960 Really? 571 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,960 And, Ken... 572 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:05,960 Just, erm... 573 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,480 Just be yourself. 574 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,960 Well, I always am. 575 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,960 And once we did a photo shoot 576 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,960 And the make-up girl, she was 577 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,960 THE BOTH LAUGH 578 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,480 Well, I don't entirely blame her. 579 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:39,960 But Brad... 580 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,960 Now, there's a man with charm. 581 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,000 Is there anyone you don't know? 582 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:50,960 I'm sorry, I don't mean to boast, 583 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,960 Come on, Gennaro, 584 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,960 OK. 585 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:08,960 Let me show you something. 586 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,960 Is that who I think it is? 587 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,960 Last week. 588 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,960 She's in a hospital bed. 589 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,960 My photographer pretended 590 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:33,960 God... 591 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,320 I had no idea it was this bad. 592 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,960 Are you going to print these? 593 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,960 Do you think some junkie pop star 594 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,960 She's 19. 595 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,480 Don't worry, Juliet, 596 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,960 Sometimes the very best pictures 597 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,960 That's my favourite thing 598 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,800 When you have someone's future 599 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:00,960 HE CHUCKLES 600 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:07,960 SAM: Hiding something is easy. 601 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,960 It can be done in the blink of 602 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,960 But keeping something hidden 603 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,960 Whatever lengths you go to... 604 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:22,960 ..whatever you try... 605 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,960 ..somebody somewhere 606 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,960 I can't believe it, 607 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,960 I mean, 608 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:57,960 Emily... 609 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,000 ..you do remember 610 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,640 Do I? 611 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:04,960 Yeah. 612 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,960 Of course. 613 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,960 The fake wedding of my dreams. 614 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,960 What's your favourite flavour 615 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,960 Rum and raisin. 616 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:21,960 Really? 617 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,960 OK, whatever. 618 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,960 You're a rum-and-raisin man. 619 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,960 But say you had a tiny taste of a 620 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,960 Pistachio, yuck. 621 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,000 But you tried it. 622 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,320 Do you think that's possible? 623 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,960 I hate pistachio. 624 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,960 Hypothetically. 625 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,960 Well, hypothetically, yeah, sure. 626 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,960 But do you know what I'd do? 627 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:49,960 Just to make sure. 628 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,960 KNOCK ON DOOR 629 00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,960 It's Ben. 630 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:02,960 Oh! 631 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,960 Oh, I'm sorry! 632 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,960 I'm sorry. 633 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960 OK. 634 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,960 I... 635 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,160 Oh! 636 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,960 Good luck. 637 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:26,960 Good luck to you, too. 638 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,960 OK, hubby. 639 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:42,960 Erm... 640 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:43,960 ..Ben. 641 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,960 You know your hands are on my...? 642 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:50,960 Why? 643 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,160 I'm sorry. 644 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,960 Er... 645 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,640 Well, break a leg and all that. 646 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,160 See you at the altar. 647 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,480 DOOR CLOSES 648 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,960 BELL DINGS 649 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,800 So, did you find out if fish kid's 650 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,960 Er, strictly speaking, 651 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,960 Oh, come on. 652 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,960 So, did you find out or not? 653 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,960 I don't really think 654 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,960 They're ripping her off, 655 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,480 Oh, my God, I knew it. 656 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,960 She's like a modern-day 657 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:39,960 We should do something. 658 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,160 Now, Jo, we don't really have 659 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,960 Wait there. 660 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,960 Could you double-check 661 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,960 I don't want anything 662 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,800 But it's not easy, 663 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,960 THE DINERS LAUGH 664 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,960 Ken... 665 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,800 Duty calls. 666 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,640 James, you look very swish. 667 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:06,960 Thank you. 668 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,800 I'm off to a wedding. 669 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,960 Do you know, Ken, you really have 670 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,960 I was wondering, 671 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,960 Once your trial's over, say... 672 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,960 ..two shifts a week. 673 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,960 Well, it's touching, but I can't. 674 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,630 See, I'm on a month's placement 675 00:34:25,630 --> 00:34:27,150 A dry-ski slope. 676 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,960 TELEPHONE RINGS 677 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,630 Yeah, concierge. 678 00:34:32,630 --> 00:34:33,960 Oh, Mrs Warren. 679 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,960 Yeah. OK. 680 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,960 I'm on my way up. 681 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,800 Right! 682 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,960 So, what exactly 683 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,480 Er... 684 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,960 Mr and Mrs Warren, I haven't 685 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,960 I did express a concern. 686 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,960 some sort of a breakdown 687 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,960 Oh, stop trying 688 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,960 Accept some responsibility. 689 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,960 I can only apologise if something 690 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,800 Are you trying to compensate 691 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,960 for being so low down 692 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,960 by interfering 693 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,960 Fine. 694 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,320 I've become aware that Mandy is, 695 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,960 five times more for this advert 696 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,960 What? 697 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,960 Is that true? 698 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,480 Tell me it's not true. 699 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,960 I can't believe 700 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,960 I earn that money. 701 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,960 It isn't like that. 702 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,960 Darling, 703 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,480 But you're only 16. 704 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,960 You've got an awful lot 705 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,960 That's why we take care 706 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,160 No, I've had enough. 707 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,960 I'm not doing this any more. 708 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,960 Any of it! 709 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,640 Let her cool off. 710 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,160 We'd better go downstairs 711 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,960 You'd better pray that 712 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:58,960 DOOR CLOSES 713 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:01,960 Mandy... 714 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,800 Don't do anything silly. 715 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,000 Just leave me alone. 716 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,960 Maybe I should stay. 717 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,960 Well, actually, 718 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,960 If I was to get you a limo 719 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,960 do you think 720 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:34,000 DOOR CLOSES 721 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,960 That doesn't send 722 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,960 GASPS OF DELIGHT 723 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,960 JULIET: 724 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,960 She looks beautiful. 725 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,480 Mwah! Great work. 726 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,960 Everybody, 727 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,000 I wanted to thank you all 728 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,960 Oh, it's OK. 729 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,960 Let's get wed. 730 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,320 Sorry, I had a lot of stuff 731 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,160 Yes, positions. 732 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,960 Ready, Princess Marianne? 733 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,480 I think this is the happiest day 734 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,960 Ah, Signorina Miller, 735 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,960 it seems you got 736 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,960 My friend Fazio confirmed that 737 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:34,960 Er, yes. 738 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,960 Juliet, it's so unlike you 739 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,960 Is this the young principessa? 740 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,960 Well, erm... 741 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:51,960 HE SPEAKS ITALIAN 742 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,960 Oh... 743 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,960 My dear girl. 744 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,960 You haven't changed a bit. 745 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:16,960 Still the same five-year-old girl I 746 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,000 Ah, ja! 747 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,960 And, you... 748 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,960 I don't remember you. 749 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,320 Er, this is, erm... 750 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,960 Sir Gino Primo-Roller. 751 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,320 Oh, it is a great privilege 752 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:39,960 Ah, you must be the chap 753 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,960 THEY LAUGH 754 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,960 Benissimo! 755 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,160 And have a wonderful time, 756 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,960 Take your seat. 757 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,160 Your Highness, you look beautiful. 758 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:01,960 Here we go. 759 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,000 TRUMPET FANFARE 760 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,320 HE EXHALES 761 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,960 What are you doing, 762 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,960 I really need to ask for a pay rise. 763 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,960 Please, be seated, one and all. 764 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,960 Beloved... 765 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,960 ..we have come together here today 766 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,160 of this man and this woman. 767 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,960 It is appointed 768 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,960 which can be stable and happy 769 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,160 is honoured and upheld. 770 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,640 Marianne and Henry... 771 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,960 ..you seek to be joined 772 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,160 STATIC FROM WALKIE-TALKIE. 773 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,960 ..or any other person here 774 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,960 why you may not lawfully 775 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,960 And if so, to declare it now. 776 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,800 What is going on? 777 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,960 Signore Fazio, 778 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,960 What is this? 779 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:27,000 SHE GASPS 780 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:29,960 Who are you? 781 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:31,960 Erm... 782 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,960 I'm, erm... 783 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,960 She's not a princess. 784 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,960 These people are not Eurotrash. 785 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:39,000 They're just trash! 786 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,480 This whole thing is a fake. 787 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,960 Come on, Marco. 788 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,480 No. I have my story. 789 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,800 Not the one I thought I was getting, 790 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,960 "Five-star hotel defrauds magazine." 791 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,960 Signore Fazio, we made a mistake. 792 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,960 Juliet, I'm not interested 793 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,960 I want an offer or I go to press. 794 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,160 What sort of offer? 795 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,960 How much is it worth to you 796 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:11,960 Give me some time, 797 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,960 I'll give you five minutes. 798 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,960 Mandy, wait! 799 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,480 Nan? 800 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,960 Let's go inside. 801 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:42,960 Thanks, Jo. 802 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,960 What the hell are you wearing? 803 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,800 Thank you, Jo, you did really well. 804 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,960 At least I'm good for something. 805 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,960 I can't let him print the story. 806 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,960 With what? 807 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,960 Sam, last night 808 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,960 Someone famous in hospital 809 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,320 He admitted he told his photographer 810 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,960 And...? 811 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,160 He told me photos can be worth more 812 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:19,960 He's blackmailing the person 813 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,320 forcing her to pay him 814 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,960 That's what he's trying to do to us, 815 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,960 Where are the photos? 816 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,960 OK. I'll get the others. 817 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,960 You sort Fazio in your office. 818 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:36,960 Bat your eyelashes. 819 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,960 I won't be long. 820 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,960 Right, we're looking for 821 00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:56,960 Right, where are you...? 822 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,960 He won't be long. He's just seeing 823 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,640 I can't apologise enough, 824 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,800 You see, the real wedding 825 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,960 I'm not interested in apologies 826 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:17,960 I know, I'm... 827 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,960 I'm just so sorry. 828 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,960 Especially on a personal level. 829 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,960 I'm not so sure 830 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,960 I've enjoyed your company very much, 831 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,960 ..today's events 832 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,960 And in different circumstances... 833 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,960 Has anybody found anything? 834 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:54,960 James? 835 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,320 Nothing. 836 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,960 I knew it, 837 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,960 when we bumped into each other. 838 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,960 Am I that transparent? 839 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,640 But I can see you more clearly now. 840 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,960 And what do you see? 841 00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,960 ..with a mutual desire. 842 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,960 I can pull up the floorboards. 843 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,960 I think you need a drink, boss. 844 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,160 What other choice do we have? 845 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,960 Is the door locked? 846 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,960 Because I know 847 00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:49,960 Sam! 848 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,800 And it cannot wait, Juliet. 849 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:01,960 This is another game? 850 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,960 Huh? 851 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:08,960 In another place, in another time, 852 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,960 What is going on? 853 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,800 Tell me, you sneaky little bitch! 854 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,640 You sneaky little bitch, 855 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,960 Get off! 856 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:20,960 Get off her! 857 00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,960 I'm OK. 858 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,000 By the time I've finished with you, 859 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,960 Now, then, Signore Fazio, 860 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,960 Where did you get those? 861 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,960 Did you have permission 862 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:43,960 Permission? 863 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,960 Give me those back 864 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,960 Go ahead. We can tell them how 865 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,800 to illegally take photos 866 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,960 HE SCOFFS 867 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,800 I won't print the wedding story. 868 00:45:58,800 --> 00:45:59,960 You have my word. 869 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,960 Now, give me the photos back. 870 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,960 No, I think that we'll hang on 871 00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,640 You know, 872 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,960 You... 873 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,960 I think the phrase 874 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:14,960 "You haven't heard 875 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:16,960 Or something similar. 876 00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,960 Are you OK? 877 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,960 They have to be a lot scarier 878 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,640 I'm sorry I was so long. 879 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,800 It's OK. It's OK. 880 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,000 Mum... 881 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,960 What are you doing here? 882 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,640 ..I know everything. 883 00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:52,960 About the money. 884 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,640 The lies. 885 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,000 You interfering old bag. 886 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,960 You always think that you know best. 887 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,320 Alexis, this is about Amanda. 888 00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,960 You've always treated her 889 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,960 Oh, please... 890 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,960 I only wish I'd acted before 891 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,960 I don't even know 892 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,960 We decide 893 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:12,960 Not any more. 894 00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,960 We've spoken to the lawyers 895 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,800 SHE SCOFFS 896 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,960 It just means she takes control 897 00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,960 Amanda's going to come and stay 898 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,000 Then we'll all sit down and talk. 899 00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:31,960 Darling... 900 00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,960 ..try and understand. 901 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,480 We were trying... 902 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,960 No, we were... 903 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,640 Yes, we did. 904 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:44,480 We did. 905 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,160 And we're sorry. 906 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:48,960 Amanda... 907 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,960 I'll be in touch. 908 00:47:58,960 --> 00:47:59,960 SHE SIGHS HEAVILY 909 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,960 Hey... 910 00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,960 So, did you divorce the bastards? 911 00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,000 I'll go and collect your bag. 912 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,960 Not really, but it's cool. 913 00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:12,960 Listen, you know you're not allowed 914 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,960 Oh, God, please don't remind me. 915 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,960 I thought I might have one 916 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,960 No way! 917 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,960 I'm going to throw you the party 918 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,960 I'll see you later. Bye. 919 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,960 Thanks for everything. 920 00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,480 I'll come back, show you my medal. 921 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,960 I look forward to seeing that. 922 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:40,000 Bye. 923 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:44,960 Now, have you got everything? 924 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,000 Thanks, guv. 925 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:49,960 No, Ken, thank you. 926 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,960 And if you reconsider, let me know. 927 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:55,960 All the best, then. 928 00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,960 You know, I must say, you've, erm... 929 00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:59,960 You've obviously had quite a life. 930 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,960 Those stories of yours 931 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,960 Oh, I make them all up, guv. 932 00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:07,800 Yeah, I fixed trams for 51 years. 933 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,160 I never got out of the country. 934 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,960 It was all a bit dull, 935 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:14,960 See you, then. 936 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,640 Yeah, see you. 937 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,960 Oh, I see. 938 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,960 Well, I thought we'd celebrate 939 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,960 Go on, then, Tony, you can say it, 940 00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,960 Well, why would I want to? 941 00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:34,960 Anyway, it's not about me. 942 00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:37,960 All right, then, I told you so. 943 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:38,960 THEY BOTH CHUCKLE 944 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,960 Ben... 945 00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:42,960 Ben, are you OK? 946 00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,960 It's just that you've been a bit... 947 00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,640 ..well, massively weird 948 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:50,960 OK. 949 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:52,960 It's just that... 950 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,960 You know when me and you...? 951 00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:01,960 Who... 952 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,800 ..is that? 953 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,960 Er, Tanya's cousin, I think. 954 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:06,960 Fantastic! 955 00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,640 What? 956 00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:13,960 I think I've just realised 957 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,960 Hey, everybody. 958 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,960 Ah, Gino, James, when are we 959 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:18,960 Yeah! 960 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,000 What? 961 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,960 Oh! 962 00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,960 Er... 963 00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:26,000 Ahem! 964 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,960 It all start when me and my wife... 965 00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:32,960 I was joking. 966 00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,960 SAM: Hidden truths 967 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,960 So, any ideas 968 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,960 200-odd grand for this tax bill? 969 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,960 That's not funny. 970 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,960 Emily's taken two bookings. 971 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:46,960 The word's got out. 972 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,960 People want a taste of Babylon's 973 00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:51,000 Huh! 974 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,960 Do you remember our wedding night? 975 00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:55,960 No, not that bit, earlier, 976 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,960 when you did the Running Man 977 00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:01,960 I think there's a video of it 978 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,960 That's your set of prints 979 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,960 SAM: But whatever you're trying 980 00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,320 remember, 981 00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,960 Hey, what is this? 982 00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:20,960 To Henry and Marianne! 983 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:26,960 SHE GAGS 59683

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