Original subtitles

'Competition. It's a part of life.

'A winner and a loser.

'After all, how can you be the best

'if there isn't someone

'At Hotel Babylon,

'Where else, we ask you,

'rooms this beautiful...

'and smiles this big?

'But while competition might

'it also brings out

'Because although we may not

'we all like to feel superior

'We have to pretend not to,

'We're meant to be good losers.

'Gracious in defeat...

'and gallant in victory.

'Apart from children, of course.'

Come on, sweetheart.

PHOTOGRAPHERS SHOUTING OUT NAMES

Go on, go on.

'No-one does competitive

'Case in point,

'and their pushy parents.'

Smile.

Charlie Edwards, general manager.

And on behalf of Hotel Babylon,

I'd like to wish you

My daughter doesn't need luck.

Luck's for desperate little

to climb the career ladder.

Like you.

It's Prada,

Scarlett Adams and Scarlett Adams.

Sorry, you just said

We're both called Scarlett Adams.

If that's too complicated for you,

maybe the special needs programme

THEY GIGGLE

'Thank God we eventually grow up

'isn't the be-all and end-all.'

We need to take special care

Make sure laundry services

'Although, of course,

Hotel Babylon.

"Princess Scrunchie knew

"to fight the evil Sir Michael

"but she'd need all her powers."

Sir Michael had her trapped, Tony,

No, all the hysteria,

Tony, where have you been?

Whichever child gets this part

a character loved

One minute!

Call me old-fashioned...

..but whatever happened

without all this fuss? Why does

and televised to death?

What's your real problem?

My problem is, these young girls

They don't need a big fat spotlight

documenting all their failings

You're being melodramatic.

who let them do it

Hey, Dad.

Oh, this is my daughter, Liz.

Hi.

What are you doing here, love?

I've come for the auditions.

Sorry, guys, come in.

I blame the parents.

Bye.

I could, but it's not.

I see.

I have to go to my meeting.

Ben at reception will tell you

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What? We just wanted you to get used

Ha-ha, very funny. Tony, I didn't

I'm guessing she got her talent

Quick question. Do you really think

I look like I'm in the mood

Ok, first item on the agenda.

Mr Delaney's in town.

Don't let him anywhere near me,

or I can't vouch

Seconded.

This time, I'm gonna make sure

it'll practically be bleating

Guys, Mr Delaney's a valued guest.

There's a difference?

That doesn't even begin to cover it.

The man is pathologically incapable

Now, is it just me, or is there

Sorry, this is Jack Harrison,

he's one of our three candidates

Hi. Hm. See, Scrunchie

auditioning this week.

Jack's gonna be shadowing me

He's going up for

And a half.

Jack's actually got enough business

He's actually 12?

He's also been published in most

and he's fluent in four languages.

Well, I don't know about fluent,

HE CHUCKLES

Hm. Fortunately for him,

we're not hiring people

OK, let's crack on.

Wait, where's Anna?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Excuse me. I'm late for work.

Disgusting old man.

Move!

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

Haven't you got lovely hands.

Just keep following my finger,

Yes, well, all the better

OK, now, try and stand up. Slowly.

That's it, easy does it. Come on.

There, have a seat here.

OK, great.

There, are you all right?

Now, the paramedics are on their

just let them check you over,

Uh, I'm very late. Um...

Glad you're alive.

Sorry.

The Scrunchie books

70,000 girls nation-wide

For some poxy musical?

No, this is going to be

They love Scrunchie in Tokyo.

there were queues for three days

Yeah. It's a...

You can actually buy schoolgirls'

HE CHUCKLES

I don't know how you prove

There's gonna be two rounds of

At the end of each round,

in the Artemis room.

Sorry, I didn't mean

with the whole

And by the way, I never bought any.

Gino, your bar's gonna be

and amped-up showbiz parents,

so I expect your takings

OK, guys, that's it. Thank you.

So that's Mr Delaney?

If, for any reason, you feel out of

Good luck.

I can't believe you.

Sneaking out to these auditions

The very expensive school,

that I work very hard

Aren't you even, like,

There were loads and loads

and now I'm in the last ten!

Oh, you've got to let me do it, Dad.

So who's gonna look after you?

I have got to work.

Speaking of which, I need to

GIRLS SINGING

I still can't believe

Next thing I know,

Oh, you are joking.

Liz, you all right, babe? Mwah.

Hey, did you get that tattoo done?

Oh, I love it! That is so

Yeah!

And why are you encouraging

Dad, Maxwell's the director

Tony Casemore.

You've got an amazing daughter.

With an amazing voice.

I know. Come off it, Dad,

I'll see you later.

Ooh. Whoa, slow down, slow down!

Uh, I'm sorry, it's just been

Anna, this is my daughter Liz.

Hello, Tony's daughter Liz!

Aw, she's sweet. Excuse me.

Come on, Dad,

Do you want me to get someone

I'm sorry that I missed the meeting,

but I fainted and then a stranger

And then the paramedics came...

to get your shopping done,

Charlie, I just had

Well, not near-death,

Listen, the next two days here

I need everybody

I'm sorry, I thought that marriage

Argh!

The last thing I need

when they're supposed to.

I said I'm sorry.

Do either of you think maybe

you recently split up because

Sorry, Benjamin, I can't remember

OK, just me, then.

Welcome to your room, Mr Delaney.

The bed is against the wrong window.

Those sheets are totally not

These curtains do not require

it's somewhat oppressive.

Have you ever designed a circuit

You have to be completely precise,

I am accustomed to having everything

I promise you, Mr Delaney,

I will make sure that on this visit,

One beer, one beautiful lady...

Five margaritas, one sexy lady...

Another beer,

ALL TALK AT ONCE

I tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to make everybody

Sorry...

I know how to make a Gino surprise.

Oh! Ginelli!

Hey. What are you doing here?

I thought I'd spend some time

Really?

That all?

Will you help me get back on my

You think you can work in the bar?

I work in a bar in Peru.

By day, I milk the goats.

Look, Ginelli, working in a bar

It's a craft.

You rush off your feet.

I'll clean your glasses,

Yeah. OK, yes.

Gino! Gino!

THEY LAUGH

Thanks.

Also, she was Ian McKellen's

Weren't you, dear? And then she did

# Eat your greens,

# Courgette is what it means

Then she was down to the last two

But she was menstruating.

Cocked it right up,

Have a signed copy.

You probably can't tell it's me

because I have

People sometimes think

Oh. Sorry, are you famous?

but my baby's going all the way!

Right. We're just going

Good girl. Save your energy.

What a crazy bunch. You just

Tony, your expertise is required.

Yeah, I've got to see

Now. Just make sure you're here

Well, yeah, I'll... I'll be back.

You promise?

I'll be there.

Can you get someone else

The man in PVC

You understand the need of urgency

I was due back in High Court

WOMAN SCREAMS

I've... got a meeting.

Don't worry, I know we'll have you

at that sentencing

GIRLS SINGING

SINGING VOICES ECHO

So, if I pull...

Ah!

SPED-UP CHATTER

I haven't got time for this.

Charlie says it's important

for the reputation of the judge

OK. Right.

I need some talcum powder,

and half a tub of margarine.

Liz Casemore.

Liz.

APPLAUSE,

# Well, I may look cute

# But I'm a powerful girl

# Don't need a parachute

# The outcome is tragic

# Could it be magic?

# I'm Scrunchie

# One thing on my mind

# That's saving the world

# One person

# At a time

# One person

# At a time. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

One shot of vermouth.

It was time to move on,

Peru had given me

Temples, beautiful scenery...

herpes.

One shot of vodka.

Gino, I need a...

Too right, sissy boy.

Get used to it.

You Mr Restaurant Man, is he?

Food and beverage manager

I see your menu.

Carpaccio of mahi-mahi.

Of course.

Well, how nice

Call me James.

What did you want?

Yeah, well, I'm busy, so...

I get it for you, James.

Are you sure you're related?

So, three shots of gin.

What do you call this,

This is the Ginelli Fizz.

I created it in Thailand

actually a man.

The Ginelli Fizz... I think not.

Don't try and dance

I'm your boss, so, come on.

Clean glasses, little brother.

LIZ: 'Just make sure

'Yeah, I'll... I'll be back.'

'You promise?'

Who's Nathan?

Have you not been listening?

I'm sorry, I just can't stop

A gorgeous stranger

magically revives you,

Oh, my God, you don't believe me.

I don't believe

Maybe I'm just a cynic.

Well, good luck with the case,

You know, you spend all day

Sometimes you like

You know?

BEN LAUGHS

Uh-huh. Well, I don't know,

SHE WHEEZES

SHE WHEEZES

Oh, my God, she's choking. Heimlich!

Charlie, she needs a Heimlich,

SHE PANTS

I'm in a bit of a rush. Sorry.

You owe me, twice.

Are you OK?

BEN CHUCKLES

Ow! What was that for?

Who is it?

Can I help?

Uh...

What's going on in there?

Has someone been smoking dope?

It was only one.

You're 13 years old.

It's illegal. You're in a hotel!

Do you want me to go on?

I was just really nervous

I don't care!

Chill, Dad, it's just a spliff.

What is wrong with you?

See you tonight.

Oi!

I'm about this far

You'd have to drag me,

You're not even sorry. I'm not

Excuse me?

I couldn't make it.

When you didn't show up,

Come on, Liz, what do you mean?

When was the last time you made it

I work hard to look after us all.

You know how much I...

The last birthday you came to

So you don't have the right

Do you really wanna end up like

You really don't understand, do you?

Jesus, Maxwell was right.

Maxwell? Bloody Maxwell?

that director knows you better

Yeah. Why not?

In the last six months, I've seen

# I'm Scrunchie

# One thing on my mind

# That's saving the world

# One person at a time

# One person at a time. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And now the man with the news

Maxwell Anderson, director.

APPLAUSE

Ten phenomenally talented

And in a few moments time,

just five will still

to become Princess Scrunchie.

Give them a clap!

APPLAUSE

Now, all the girls

they've all brought their own

to this much-beloved character...

Who's looking after the bar?

Does he know what he's doing?

But I teach him a lesson

When it comes to cocktails,

he is like the crab

You like that? You see, a crab

Why would a crab

The list of the five finalists...

..going through now...

Scarlett Adams!

APPLAUSE

She will not be Scrunchie.

Helen Jenkins.

APPLAUSE

She will not be Scrunchie.

Charlie Lowly.

APPLAUSE

She will not be Scrunchie...

Liz Casemore.

Yes!

Tony, that's your daughter!

That's great.

I'd be over the moon

Hey, Tony.

She has the Scrunchie in her, yeah?

This is really exciting, Tony.

Right, so...

colour-coded.

And your buffalo milk

Is that all for tonight,

I can't just go to sleep.

You, uh...

You want me to read to you from...

Oh, it's your own book.

Softly, but firmly.

Apart from the Korean banker

CHATTER

CHEERING

Ginelli, what are you doing?

While I was away,

Now, you, watch and learn.

You didn't tell me he was

He's got the place humming.

And maybe I lift the profits

Soon, Gino will be cleaning

THEY LAUGH

GINELLI: Who wants another one?

Tony, are you all right? No,

Excuse me?

made me miss

She's bloody furious with me.

Well, I'm sure she'll forgive you,

You're not my mate, you're my boss.

And I'd appreciate it

Morning. Have you seen Liz?

Stayed with you last night,

You totally ruined

In, out, in, out.

I'm going to win this competition,

I'm going to be famous.

I don't care what it takes.

Morning, love. How are you feeling?

It must be weird for you, what with

Going up against each other.

I thought you

Breathing exercises, smoking it up.

Just leave me alone.

Look, today's gonna be different.

I'm gonna be there

from start to finish.

And then we partied.

Bring your dancing shoes,

Ginelli!

I love him!

You OK?

always ruin everything.

But he's so nice.

Everybody say Ginelli nice.

All our lives, he does whatever

I build something for myself.

And then he come along with his,

and his Ginelli fizz,

Do you know how it is

by your younger brother?

Well, either he goes or I go.

You're joking, right?

I'm serious.

Like a heart attack, baby.

And this afternoon, I'll need

Sorry?

I'm entertaining

I will need

several fully-trained geisha,

some sushi, ocean-fresh,

Problem?

Good boy.

Ah-ah!

So you think that's him?

the way he just

So your mystery man just happens

Yes, which is how he ended up

'How can you be so sure

'He saved my life twice.

Perfect.

Dr Tockley is the only doctor

and he's staying on his own,

So I'm just going to go up there

And then ask him out.

So, stop being so negative

Yes?

Sorry, is Dr Tockley

That's me.

It's just, I thought

I used to be.

You got a problem with that?

No. No, no, no, not at all. No.

Yay, for freedom of gender choice.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah.

Aw.

Listen, about last night.

No, no, no.

I wanted to say sorry. I don't

Don't worry about it.

I just come to say good bye,

and give my letter of resignation

You're not really going to quit.

Are you serious?

If I stay here, you know...

..just be reminded

Ginelli wins again.

Gino, we'll help you

Will we? How?

All we need to do is get him

Give him the shift from hell.

You would do that for me?

Anything to stop you whining.

Ladies and gentlemen,

to our first

Miss Scarlett Adams.

You're Liz's father, right?

She's going down.

# Sometimes I wish I was

# So people would love me

# If I didn't have

# Would life be so easy

# I wanna be a normal girl

# Don't want responsibility

# I want shopping malls

# I wanna be free... #

# Sometimes I wish I was like

# So people... #

Helen?

We'll try it again, sweetheart.

Helen.

We know you're nervous, sweetheart.

RETCHING

Oh, Jesus.

Maxwell, bring the next girl out.

Liz Casemore, please.

Is Liz back there?

Liz?

Um, if everybody would just

the girls have been very tired...

Hey, sweetheart?

Hey, love.

I don't feel well.

You'll be all right.

Here, have some of your

Hey! Hey!

God.

Sit over there! Konnichiwa!

Dozo.

Origami. Origami...

That's what I said.

Oh!

Hello.

I just wanted to say thank you,

Oh, it was my pleasure, both times.

Anna Thornton-Wilton.

Um, have a seat, please.

So, are you staying in the hotel?

Yeah, I just moved to the area and

And I'm guessing you're a doctor.

What gave it away?

The last time I was with a doctor

he tried to put

Oh! No, it was a thermometer.

He was taking my temperature.

It wasn't, you know... I wouldn't

Although I would let a doctor

I should probably just go now.

No, no, no, no, please, stay.

Actually, I'm a surgeon.

So you're Mr Wright, not Dr Wright.

Oh! Mr Right!

Is that supposed to be funny

Yeah, no, cos every girl's looking

What kind of surgeoning do you do?

Cardiothoracic.

A very big word

Well, it's heart, chest, lots of,

Oh, right, OK.

Oh, my God!

What?

Breathe, Gino, breathe. Come on,

James, how's it coming?

This is art, Jackie.

Ben, you all set?

I do hope this works.

I think I like emotional Gino

Of course it'll work.

And just to make sure, I'm going

How?

Want to join me for a drink?

I'm on duty, Jacqueline.

Ginelli, there's no harm

We've all done it before.

Besides, work is so boring...

and you are so handsome.

Pretty please, with me on top?

Brother, clean my glasses for me.

I'm going to be busy.

No way is French Kiss

Why?

Well, a medical licence doesn't mean

every now and then.

Especially with Kevin Kline's

His accent is not ridiculous.

What, in Spain?

Oh...

I should really get back to work.

Well, it was nice to meet you.

Well, maybe you'll

Well, actually,

I'm flying to Zurich tonight

All right, well, then,

This is probably going

BLEEPING

Mmm, it's the hospital.

OK.

What were you going to say?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

Yes, you, too.

Bye.

How long was I asleep?

How are you feeling?

About to make the announcement.

If you're up to it, I think you

Why?

Dad, what is it?

What happened this afternoon could

and the pressure

on such young, talented souls.

You've done so well.

But one girl did not

That girl is our Princess Scrunchie.

That girl, ladies and gentlemen,

Well done, Scarlett.

So, Scarlett, tell me what it's like

Yeah, how does it feel, Scarlett,

Come on. Tell us how you cheated

Tony!

What happened today was down to

as found in the room

The only girl who could manage

Dad, shut up!

No, no, I'm not implying,

Dad, enough! This is embarrassing.

It's all right, sweetheart.

That Scarlett Adams deliberately

so that she could get the part.

You say that again,

I know tai chi!

OK, that's it, the show's over.

You got any evidence to support

Apart from the bottle of vodka

and the orange juice

Neither prove she

Yes.

She was the only one who could

I saw her put something

No way!

Oh, and I saw Goody Proctor

This is clearly ridiculous!

You, you, you. My office, now!

Everybody relax for two minutes.

Um, go to the bar.

You might want to wait outside

No, this concerns her. She'll stay.

You were way out of line. I'm

Formal warning for ruining

Sack him!

It'll go in his file and go against

Promise? Good.

That's not fair! He was

Don't worry about it, Liz,

Well, we're gonna have to throw

No need, I've chosen my Scrunchie.

Even if Scarlett's innocent,

Unless you want the press to think

Oh...

OK.

Right, we'll go again in an hour,

Does that work?

So I'm guessing that you

No, thank you.

You know, I would say

Ginelli, time to get changed.

What you talking about?

Today we launch the new drink.

What new drink?

You must dress like Il Duce

Il Duce Benito Mussolini?

I will work the bar.

Does Il Duce vodka sound like

Ooh, yeah, I've heard all about it.

And I do love a man in uniform.

Work it, baby.

I need shiatsu. I'm, like,

Right, well the spa is downstairs.

Are you going to show me?

Um, I'm kind of busy, actually,

Staring uselessly into space?

It's called thinking.

You're going to show me the spa,

Well, since you ask so charmingly,

I'll scream.

You dare me?

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

What's this?

Your daughter's got

I know.

Amen.

ALL: Amen.

What's with the lights?

Il Duce!

Good news.

The final audition,

What's the matter?

Without her in the running,

Will you be all right

Don't you worry about that,

All that matters is that

From now on, I'm going to try

It was me, Dad.

I was the one who spiked the drink.

MUSIC PLAYS

How?

Well, split my infinitive.

It was the plan.

The plan was not good enough.

Well, my friends,

Lots of Jews,

Fortunately, I gave them

Well, I have to say

Didn't think we were

to put on the costume.

And there I was,

We are...

When I stayed the night

Yeah.

'This morning,

'I went back to Scarlett's room

Look, Liz Casemore's

but there's no way she's gonna get

Press seemed to like her.

Her and her

Yeah, well, the press

But let me tell you,

She needs this, Maxie,

It wasn't fair, Dad!

I worked for this part!

I should at least get the chance!

So, what, you thought you would

I was just so angry.

Why didn't you just tell somebody?

I want this part, Dad.

And I just thought it's so unfair...

Scarlett cheating

But when the audition started,

I need to tell them, Dad.

I need to tell them the truth.

Come here.

We'll tell them. We'll tell them.

I think you'll find

You ready?

TRADITIONAL

So, what do you think?

Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine. I mean, one or two

but I guess that's gonna have to do.

Sorry, "fine"?

I'm gonna need a fax machine

room temperature.

There is a Finnish brand,

No.

Excuse me?

I said no. No, no, no, no.

It is my understanding

have a job at Hotel Babylon.

Yeah, I don't care.

You see, for the last two days,

like a Labrador.

I've given you everything

I've had almost no sleep,

You see, they were right.

I like things done a certain way.

Wow, you're a multi-millionaire.

It doesn't give you the right

Watch your step, kiddo.

Your life is sad.

Yeah, and I don't want to be

So for the next hour,

to get someone else

you're gonna have to live

Try it. You might like it.

Don't worry, I pack my things, I go.

Ginelli, you don't have any things.

Then I'll be quick, isn't it.

Look...

You want me gone, I go.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I love to see you, but having you

Truth is, I'm jealous of you.

You jealous of me?

I'm jealous of you, Gino.

But you travel the world a free man,

you do whatever you want,

and go on exciting adventures.

And I'm lonely.

Here you have wonderful colleagues

Who love you enough

You don't have to go, Ginelli.

No, no, this is your place, Gino.

There's no room

Listen, before you go, I want you

Say it!

Good boy!

Now, are you sure you wanna do this?

Dad, you may not have been

but you were around long enough

I'm not afraid to stand up

What's happened to you, eh? I'm sure

Now you're this big grown-up,

Smoking dope, don't do that again.

Actually...

Transfer. I was too scared

Good.

No, they tickle.

Tony...

..about earlier.

Yes, you were, and I'm gonna

You what?

I think you should

But like I said,

'Competition, it's part of life.

'Sometimes we're so desperate to

'Sometimes we don't even know

'until it's right there

Anna, I forgot something.

'Which makes it all the more

'And all the more painful

Ladies, your Ginelli fizz.

Created all the way over in Thailand

'Rivalry, competition, these things

This jacket is ruined!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I always knew I was innocent,

so I'm delighted to have

No more questions.

'We all want something.

'that we let our feelings

'and lose it as a result.

'Sometimes we can't say how we feel,

'Sometimes there are

Where are you going?

Well, I, uh...

You're joking, aren't you?

but I've never seen the guy

He thinks I'd be mad

What, you mean...

You got the job. Congratulations.

Thanks.

'You have to know

'But make sure the things

'are really worth the trouble.'

Smile.

'Sometimes only by losing

Not bad.

So, seven birthdays in one night.

Where do you want to go?

Let's just drive.

'And it's only then that we see