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{\an8}'The measure of a man
is not in his beliefs,
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00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,080
{\an8}'but in his actions.
3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,600
{\an8}'Who said that?
Was it GK Chesterton? Never mind.
4
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,720
{\an8}'Whoever it was
knew what they were talking about.
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00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,160
{\an8}'This vocation of ours,
6
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,600
{\an8}'it's about so much more
than just preaching the word of God.
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00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,840
{\an8}'It's about living it.
8
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,040
{\an8}'It's about getting out there
amongst the people.
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00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:24,440
{\an8}'Not just giving our time,
we're giving ourselves.
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00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,960
{\an8}'What we're doing isn't important.
11
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,160
{\an8}'Who cares
if we're sleeping, eating?
12
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,680
{\an8}'These people need us.
13
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,960
{\an8}'We can't just sit
on the sidelines, praying.
14
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,520
{\an8}'What use is that on its own?
It's no bloody use at all.
15
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:39,720
{\an8}'Our door must always be open.
Day and night, night and day.
16
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,320
{\an8}'We have to DO as well.
We have to act.'
17
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,600
{\an8}We are the helpers.
18
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:48,880
Every minute of every hour of
every day, it is our duty to help.
19
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,360
Might I make a suggestion?
Of course.
20
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,320
Do you think perhaps
you need a little holiday?
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00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,760
MR REEVES:Welcome to Merries,
22
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,320
where there's never a dull day
and the sun always shines.
23
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,880
Leave your worries far behind you
and forget about everyday strife!
24
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,440
We're here to put a smile
on your face.
25
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,280
This is your time to relax,
to unwind,
26
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,480
to enjoy life to the fullest.
27
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,840
You can be who you please
at Merries,
28
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,520
so put on your glad rags,
29
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,680
dust off your dancing shoes,
30
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,920
and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.
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00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,800
I wish you and yours
a truly wonderful day!
32
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,000
MOTHER:Off you go, then.
CHILD:Summer holiday!
33
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,800
CHILDREN WHOOP
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00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,080
I'm pretty sure hell is two hours
in a car with that lot.
35
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,320
Sylvia, where's my hat?
36
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,000
On your head, Jack.
37
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,040
I need to make a call.
I didn't cancel Bible study.
38
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,160
Oh, no, no, no.
What?
39
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,360
No talking about work.
We're on holiday.
40
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,080
How was the train?
Busy. What have I missed?
41
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,200
Will, talking about work.
42
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,320
Oh, I don't talk about it that much.
You're still talking about it now.
43
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,840
Where's Leonard?
Looking for his Gorki.
44
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,000
Ooh, Sylvia, they do donkey rides.
45
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,720
A-ha! Only Maxim can
get me through this torment.
46
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,880
To hell with Maxim.
47
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,240
We're getting drunk
and going on a pedalo.
48
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,480
Good Lord.
49
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,320
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS,
MAN CHUCKLES
50
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,080
Davenport party?
That's us.
51
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,000
IN UNISON:Welcome to Merries!
52
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,680
I'm Roy Reeves,
your most venerated host.
53
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,000
This is the other half, Babs.
We met at castanet class.
54
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,360
Yeah, I don't know what it was -
we just clicked.
55
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,400
Click, click!
THEY LAUGH
56
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,720
Sunny, would you mind showing these
fine folk to their chalets, please?
57
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,360
Absolutely, Mr Reeves.
58
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,160
Castanet class!
HE CHUCKLES
59
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,680
Ta-ra!
60
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,880
I hope you're all ready
for a merry time!
61
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,120
ALL: Yes.
62
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,320
Doesn't sound very merry to me.
63
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,600
Are you ready for a merry time?!
64
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,640
ALL: Yes!
Yes!
65
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,320
UPBEAT MUSIC
66
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,200
Yay!
67
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,560
Hi!
68
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,880
Didn't do this at private school.
69
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,040
Oh, good one!
70
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,080
MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
71
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,960
Sorry, we're a little delayed
due to... Snoozing.
72
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,280
Good to know.
We'll be right behind you.
73
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,840
Sorry we're late, we were...
having a snooze.
74
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,560
Sorry! Sorry!
Having a snooze?
75
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,440
If you say so.
76
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,160
Jack!
What?
77
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,680
THEY CHUCKLE
78
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,640
'Welcome, one and all!'
79
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,040
Hope you're ready
to have some fun, fun, fun tonight,
80
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,920
you merry lot!
81
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,440
Welcome to the stage,
the one, the only,
82
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,360
Merries House Band!
83
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,040
ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC
84
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,800
# When I get withdrawal
It just gets me down
85
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,880
# A needle and a record
Is what keeps me sound... #
86
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,960
Fun (!)
Was there ever a more insipid word?
87
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,200
You know what I hate more than fun?
88
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,880
IN UNISON: Enforced fun.
89
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,040
If someone has to tell you
something's fun, it generally isn't.
90
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,400
Oh, neighbours. Nice.
91
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,480
I'm Sid Danker.
This is my... wife, Margie.
92
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,120
Nice to meet ya.
Hello.
93
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,480
How do you do?
94
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,920
Mwah!
SID CHUCKLES
95
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,760
You been here before?
No, first time.
96
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,200
Quality of guest isn't what it was.
Too many Northerners.
97
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,680
Is that right?
CAMERA CLICKS, LAUGHTER
98
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,240
I'll tell you what, we'll get
on your table tomorrow, shall we?
99
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,560
We'll have a good chinwag.
100
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,520
Lovely.
Yeah, lovely.
101
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,400
Wouldn't that be lovely?
ALL: Lovely.
102
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,680
Scouts! I didn't cancel them.
103
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,400
ALL:Will!
104
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:50,800
Relax.
105
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,240
Tiptoe through the roses.
106
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:56,040
Tulips.
Exactly.
107
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,480
Breathe the fresh air.
Look at the stars.
108
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,120
Have a snooze, maybe.
109
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,280
It's been a while
since you had a lady friend.
110
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,360
Romance, that's what you need.
Find yourself a nice girl.
111
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,240
All right, all right,
thank you, everyone,
112
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,440
for that sage
and unsolicited advice.
113
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,960
Photograph? Two bob for five copies.
114
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,520
Oh, lovely.
115
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,720
Smile. Come on.
116
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,080
Say "Merries".
ALL: Merries!
117
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,920
FLASHBULB POPS
118
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,680
ALL CHUCKLE
119
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,840
I couldn't help but overhear.
120
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,040
If it's a nice girl
you're looking for...
121
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,000
She's not my type.
122
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,160
Too attractive?
123
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,040
Too friendly?
124
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,400
Too uncomplicated?
125
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:54,040
UPBEAT MUSIC
126
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,600
# My sweet-looking woman
Ever so, so keen
127
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,360
# Can't get her out of my head
128
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,560
# She had eyes of blue
And lips of red
129
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,800
# Well, I just can't get the woman
Out of my head. #
130
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,000
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
131
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:27,240
The Merries House Band, everyone!
Weren't they fantastic, yeah?
132
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,320
Now, before we crack on,
133
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,520
regulars Margie and Sid
134
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,760
have been married two years today.
135
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,360
Hurray!
APPLAUSE
136
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,800
Come on, Marge, up you come.
137
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,480
Up you come.
138
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,320
Come on!
139
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,240
Ain't she beautiful?
140
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,760
Come on, give 'em a spin.
Give 'em a spin.
141
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,440
Happy anniversary, darling.
142
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,440
You're the light of my life.
143
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,360
Let's see how that light's going
in a decade, eh, folks?
144
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,360
LAUGHTER
145
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,120
Margie and Sid!
146
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,160
APPLAUSE
147
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,120
For goodness' sake, Sid,
do you have to make such a show?
148
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,800
Everyone's staring!
149
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,320
AUDIENCE LAUGH
150
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,720
Had my cheque book stolen
the other day.
151
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,440
I didn't report it to the police.
152
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,840
Nah, the thief spent less
than the wife.
153
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,160
But that is marriage for you.
154
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,480
It a very expensive way of
getting your laundry done...
155
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,240
I'm not sure I can sit through this
for the next five nights.
156
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,880
Try a whole summer.
It's intolerable.
157
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:45,120
You know, marriage,
it's like a deck chair, innit?
158
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:49,000
It's ever so comfy at first,
bloody impossible to get out of.
159
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,480
LAUGHTER
160
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,800
Whoa!
Sid!
161
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,400
LAUGHTER DIES AWAY
162
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,720
Help me get him back to the chalet.
163
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,440
Quality of guest isn't what it was.
164
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,800
I've got 'em rolling in the aisles
down here!
165
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,160
It's not that funny, Sid.
166
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,960
Now, the wife, she said...
167
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,560
MUSIC: 'Goodnight Campers'
168
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,960
Nightcap?
169
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,840
I would, but I thought
it might be nice
170
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,520
to take in the evening air.
171
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,440
Right.
172
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,360
SHARP KNOCK AT DOOR
173
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,440
KNOCKING CONTINUES
174
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,120
That's not the knock.
175
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,040
GENTLE BREEZE
176
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,080
OWL HOOTS
177
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,600
BURST OF PIPED-IN MUSIC
178
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,720
Simon says touch your knees.
179
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,680
Oh, they're playing Simon Says.
180
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,440
Do you wanna join in?
181
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,280
No? Oh.
182
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,640
Simon says hop like a bunny rabbit!
Hop, hop, hop.
183
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,280
Good Lord.
184
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,240
Oh, come on, I'm starving.
185
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,680
My stomach thinks
my throat's been cut.
186
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,000
I know. I understand.
I've been here for 25 minutes!
187
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,560
This happened last year!
I want a refund!
188
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,360
Ladies and gentlemen,
if you could just bear with us.
189
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,080
Come with me now.We'll be serving
breakfast as soon as we can.
190
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,960
Standards have slipped.
Didn't I say?
191
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,320
Probably all those Northerners,
eh (?)
192
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,680
Oh, looks like somebody
had the dodgy salmon.
193
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,960
Nah, I'm on my holidays.
194
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,440
Guests aren't allowed in yet.
I'm a vicar.
195
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,880
Wife's in a terrible state.
196
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,720
It's none of my business.
197
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,520
Police haven't sealed off the scene.
198
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:01,400
My only business
is relaxing with my thoughts.
199
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,240
Already seen the laundry men go in.
200
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,440
Guests leaving
without being interviewed.
201
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,920
Absolutely not.
202
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,600
Absolutely bloody not.
203
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,520
You might want to photograph
the body before you move him.
204
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:26,960
Detective Constable Gerry Wicks.
And who the hell might you be?
205
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,480
Detective Inspector Keating.
206
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,840
I see.
Technically, "I see, sir."
207
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,800
Wife says he had a dodgy ticker.
208
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,560
Few too many beers,
few too many ciggies.
209
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,520
Hits the deck
like a sack of potatoes.
210
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,760
Apologies.
211
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,400
It's natural causes.
212
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,840
I'd stake my life on it.
213
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,200
Geordie, soil.
214
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,320
Here, you see.
215
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,800
He was dragged in.
216
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,160
Lidocaine.
217
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,560
Might not wanna stake your life
on natural causes just yet.
218
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,200
Was he taking painkillers?
219
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:11,000
Roy had a slipped disk.
It had bothered him for years.
220
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,840
Was it bothering him last night?
Well, I wouldn't know.
221
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,280
He comes here to practise
his routine after closing.
222
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,760
I was in bed.
223
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:26,520
Ah, thank you!
Thank you for your concern... sir.
224
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:29,080
I look forward to speaking again,
Gerry.
225
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,320
You don't mind
if I call you Gerry, do you?
226
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,000
If you could be
as discreet as possible,
227
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,360
I would really appreciate it.
228
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,040
You seemed upset
by your husband's jokes.
229
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,240
They're terrible jokes.
230
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,480
About his terrible wife.
231
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,640
It's an act. It's not real.
232
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,120
A little close to the knuckle.
233
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,520
A joke isn't a joke
if it's not close to the knuckle,
234
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,080
wouldn't you say?
235
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,840
DOOR CLOSES
236
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:10,000
Five whole days without a carcass,
is it too much to ask?
237
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,520
We keep going.
238
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:15,320
We keep giving our guests
a merry old time, for Roy.
239
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,360
She seems pretty stoic.
240
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,880
Howdy there, fellas.
Howdy, Sid.
241
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,280
Is it a murder?
Is it the wife?
242
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,720
Sylvia!
243
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,200
In my Agatha Christies,
it's always the wife.
244
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,120
Well, it looks like natural causes.
Aw, poor chap.
245
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,680
Time to join our conga line!
246
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,760
Conga line, Sylvia!
Ooh, I love a conga line!
247
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,840
Sorry about Mr Reeves.
He'd want us to enjoy ourselves.
248
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,040
MRS REEVES ON LOUDSPEAKER:
Let's make this a day to remember!
249
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,840
The longest conga line yet!
250
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,640
Did you hear that music blast
last night?
251
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,800
It was ten past midnight, I checked.
252
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,120
Come and join the conga line!
253
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,280
Come on, you two, no excuses!
254
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,280
Because nothing says "in memoriam"
like a conga line (!)
255
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,680
Is that an Argus?
It is.
256
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,840
Bit old, but...
257
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,840
I use an Argus. I've actually
just had some photos accepted
258
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,600
for an exhibition.
Really? We'd love to take a look.
259
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,280
LOUDSPEAKER:Calling Mr Marlowe
to the conga line!
260
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,520
Daniel Marlowe, hurry up!
261
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,080
Duty calls.
Another time, perhaps.
262
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,000
Oh, Gorki.
Have you read it?
263
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,720
Half of it. It's quite...
264
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,000
Impenetrable? Dull?
265
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,600
So unbelievably dull.
266
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,120
LOUDSPEAKER:Calling Leonard Finch
to the conga line.
267
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,160
Leonard Finch to the conga line.
Hurry up!
268
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,800
Leonard Finch.
269
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,240
Bryan Stanford.
270
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,720
So, he's listening to this.
271
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,680
RECORD PLAYS
272
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,560
He slumps forward...
273
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,920
MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH SPEAKERS,
CRACKLES
274
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,400
RECORD STOPS
275
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,320
OK, but then how does he end up
in the ballroom?
276
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,600
Geordie.
277
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,280
Excuse me,
guests aren't allowed in here.
278
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,720
Sorry, we... we didn't realise.
279
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,680
Ah, would you look at that?
280
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,200
Mm-hm, fancy (!)
281
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,560
This safe,
where does Mr Reeves keep the key?
282
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,800
You shouldn't be in here.
He's a detective.
283
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,400
He's just doing his job.
And I'm doing mine.
284
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,360
Perhaps you'd like
to answer his question.
285
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,200
Perhaps you'd like to obey the sign.
286
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,080
Ah. Mm-hm.
287
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,840
Enjoy rifling through
a dead man's belongings.
288
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,840
Does she ever stop smiling?
289
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,720
Sorry, you were probably
just being polite,
290
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,920
saying you'd see my work.
Not at all.
291
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,080
Beautiful light.
292
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,720
Not that I'm an aficionado.
293
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,520
Firenze!
Have you been?
294
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,520
No.
295
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,840
Me neither.
I've never been anywhere.
296
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,680
Thank you.
297
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,120
I went to Morocco once.
298
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,920
It was transcendent.
299
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,360
Hard to find transcendence
in this place.
300
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,000
I can imagine.
301
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,320
There's hours' worth
of Cinefilm here.
302
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,680
Oh, Margie gets about a bit.
303
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,120
Not just the Northerners
lowering the tone, then.
304
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:31,560
She's no ordinary holidaymaker.
She was working the camp.
305
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,680
Roy sets his male guests up
with Margie, takes these...
306
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,200
Then what, he blackmails them?
307
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,240
Not exactly the souvenir snap
you'd want your wife to see, is it?
308
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,440
Well, would you look at that?
309
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,280
Well, that is certainly one way
to meet the light of your life.
310
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,000
INSTRUCTOR:Bodies square, please.
311
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,880
Right.
312
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,400
May I?
313
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,600
All right. Got my eye on you.
314
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,320
Keep your hands north of the border.
Sid, please!
315
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,360
SID CHUCKLES
316
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,200
So, how long you been coming here?
317
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:24,160
I used to work here, so...
Let me guess. You're a dancer.
318
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,840
Dancer, singer.
319
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,560
Entertainment was something
back then.
320
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,040
Local paper used to say
I was destined for the West End.
321
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,640
BOTH CHUCKLE
322
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,320
Is this where you and Sid met?
323
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,360
Place must hold happy memories.
324
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:47,000
I think you should concentrate
on your footwork, Mr Davenport.
325
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,320
Margie, we've seen the photographs.
326
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,040
The ones Mr Reeves took.
327
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,000
Excuse me.
328
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,680
Margie?
329
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,480
What did you say to her?
330
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,040
What is it, my love?
331
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,880
Come here.
Stop fretting, Sid, please.
332
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,480
I demand to know
what you said to her.
333
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,600
Demand? Don't be so dramatic.
334
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,680
They know. About me.
335
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,880
What sodding business is it
of yours?
336
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,400
I thought you were on your holidays?
So did I, Sid.
337
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,480
I saved her from that bastard.
338
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,760
What matters is Margie's with me now
and she's happy.
339
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,680
You got nothing to be ashamed of,
my love.
340
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,120
Do you have to make
such a song and dance, Sid?
341
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,760
You must've despised him.
342
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,320
Us, and anyone who met him.
343
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,920
So, why come back?
To rub the bastard's nose in it.
344
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,920
He tried to ruin me.
345
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,520
I got the girl.
I got the happy ever after.
346
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,360
Good riddance to him, I say.
347
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,680
Do you ever feel different
from other people?
348
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,960
I think the more appropriate
question might be,
349
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,320
do I ever feel remotely the same?
350
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,280
You know, I... I look around here
and I see all these people smiling
351
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,080
and enjoying themselves.
352
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,240
All this inane bloody nonsense.
353
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,920
They're just having fun.
354
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,880
It is terribly inane,
though, isn't it?
355
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,320
Being different
isn't so terribly bad.
356
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,480
Better than being
something you're not.
357
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,000
You'll go there one day.
358
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,240
Sell your photographs
outside the Duomo.
359
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,560
Make an absolute fortune.
360
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,560
No.
361
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,200
Sorry.
362
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,120
No, sorry. I'm sorry.
363
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:30,040
Bringing your wife back to the place
she turned tricks.
364
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,640
To show off to your blackmailer.
Who says romance is dead?
365
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,000
Who turned tricks?
Who's a blackmailer?
366
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,120
No-one.
367
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,600
I've set up the projector
in the main office, Inspector.
368
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,280
Thank you.
369
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,600
It's just a bit of film
I've got to watch, Cathy.
370
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,280
Natural causes, you said.
371
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,800
As natural as they come.
372
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,680
And Detective Wicks
will be here shortly.
373
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,040
Mm-hm.
374
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,320
Promise me there is not
a murderer on the loose.
375
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:01,200
What about the kids?!
376
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,200
Wouldn't fancy his chances
against our lot.
377
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,800
We don't know if it's murder.
378
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,440
Not for sure.
379
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,040
SHE SIGHS
Five days, you said.
380
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,120
Do you know what's worse
than enforced fun?
381
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,040
Someone that sulks their way
through it.
382
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,760
Don't be angry.
383
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,440
Why would I be angry?
384
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,920
I was convivial with Bryan,
385
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,520
he got the wrong impression,
386
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,520
and...
Sir?
387
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,320
And...?
388
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:44,080
WHISPERS: He tried to kiss me.
389
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,720
Bryan? Bryan, Bryan?!
390
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,520
Shhh!
391
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,720
Take it as a compliment.
392
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,960
You're a handsome chap.
He's a handsome chap.
393
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,200
# I can't
No matter how hard I try
394
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,680
# So why don't you join me
And face your fears?
395
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,680
# Stay still, honey
And I'll check your arrears
396
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,520
# Pretty woman
There's no turning back
397
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,840
# You've got to feel it baby
Like a train on a track... #
398
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,040
Overdose.
399
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,960
There's enough lidocaine to kill
that bloody donkey out there.
400
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,480
I still think there's a chance
it could be natural causes.
401
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,160
When was the last time
you had a murder case?
402
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,800
'36, I believe.
403
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,960
Where were you?
404
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,000
School.
405
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,880
I'll look this over for you,
how about that, hm?
406
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,720
I doubt it'll make much difference,
but if you must.
407
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,440
# I need a rhythm
With a stomping beat
408
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,680
# It's ruling my body
From my head to my feet
409
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,200
# I need a small dose
Just to keep me sane
410
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,720
# While the rock 'n' roll music
Flows to my brain
411
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,960
# I can't live without it now
Don't you doubt it, baby
412
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,800
# Well, you may think I'm crazy
But it's my desire
413
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,800
# This sound
Is just what gets me high
414
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,920
# You can tell me to quit
But I'll have to admit
415
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,840
# I can't
No matter how hard I try
416
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,640
# So why don't you join me
And face your fears... #
417
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,720
Mrs Reeves.
Evening, Miss Grant.
418
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,360
Lovely dress.
419
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,160
Were you aware
of your husband's dealings?
420
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560
We having a merry old time?
421
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,000
Did you know he was
blackmailing the guests?
422
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,680
Of course I bloody did.
But you didn't stop him?
423
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,840
This place was my father's.
424
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,400
Then I married,
and it belonged to Roy.
425
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,120
He ruined it.
426
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,760
That's the way it goes, isn't it?
427
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:33,800
So, yes, I knew what he was doing.
And, no, I didn't stop him.
428
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,680
Does that answer your question?
429
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,280
Lidocaine.
Injected?
430
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,360
Swelling in the throat.
431
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,840
So he ingested it.
With his supper, maybe?
432
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,360
Starting to wish
I hadn't had that hot pot.
433
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,600
He was fine on stage.
434
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,760
It must be someone who knew him.
435
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,760
Excuse me, would you like to dance?
Not now, sorry.
436
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,040
Someone who knew he took lidocaine.
437
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,440
What?
438
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,600
You only live once.
439
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,120
I think I was a little rude.
440
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,440
A little?
Inordinately rude.
441
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,280
Extremely, supremely...
442
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,840
Extraordinarily?
Extraordinarily rude.
443
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,880
I'd love to dance with you.
444
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,040
You coming or not?
445
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,600
Now who's smiling?
446
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,840
THEY CHUCKLE
447
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,960
So, tell me.
Pamela. My real name's Pamela.
448
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,280
Pamela's nice. Pamela's...
Middle-aged with too many kids.
449
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,120
Ha! And a husband she hates.
450
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,600
Pamela Smith doesn't get
top billing at the Palladium.
451
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:45,080
Besides, everyone here's pretending
to be someone they're not.
452
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:47,080
I bet even you are.
453
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:51,440
Sadly, I am deeply uncomplicated.
Uh-uh. No.
454
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,200
This face is hiding
all sorts of secrets.
455
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,360
Go on, then, try me.
456
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,520
You've got a love child.
457
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,680
Not that I know of.
458
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,880
Doomed affair
with a beautiful widow?
459
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,120
Ah, if only.
460
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,600
There must be something.
461
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,200
I am my work. My work is me.
462
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,080
That's as scandalous as it gets.
463
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,360
THEY LAUGH
464
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,160
Do you ever feel like you work
because there's something missing?
465
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,560
That got serious suddenly.
We can do serious, can't we?
466
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,600
I love what I do.
I love making people happy.
467
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,160
Oh, I love my job, too. I just...
468
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,840
Sometimes, I feel like
there must be something else.
469
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,720
Like what?
470
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,320
I don't know.
471
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,240
Yes, you do.
472
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,160
You know how this goes, right?
473
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,040
We have a few nice nights,
you go back to your life,
474
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,280
I go back to mine,
and we never see each other again.
475
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,680
Mmm, it's a terrible idea (!)
476
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,120
Terrible.
Truly, truly awful.
477
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,120
Er... I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to stop you there.
478
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:07,960
He told me he'd destroy this.
He used you, like he used Margie.
479
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,880
Not like Margie. I'm not cheap.
480
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,560
You don't like
what Roy was making you do.
481
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,200
Him dying certainly put a stop
to that.
482
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,480
You think I killed him?
483
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,360
Did you?
100 times in my head.
484
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,000
But no.
485
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,040
Did you sleep with them?
486
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,600
HE SCOFFS
487
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,840
Is that all this was to you?
488
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,000
Just a way to blackmail me?
489
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,600
Oh, this is the most uncomfortable
bed I've ever slept in.
490
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,360
It's cheap and it's gaudy,
491
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,840
and I'd quite like Mrs C
to boil these sheets.
492
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,840
Doesn't seem so bad.
493
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,040
KNOCK AT DOOR, OPENS
Just a minute!
494
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,640
Might I talk with you?
495
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,680
Bryan.
496
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,760
I never had Sunny down
as a younger version of Margie.
497
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,360
Are you upset?
498
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,640
No.
You liar.
499
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:28,400
You're right about one thing.
You do not have a type.
500
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:33,920
From a nun to a prostitute.
501
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,320
Geordie.
It's almost biblical.
502
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,440
It's Roy.
503
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,960
Well, if he's in it,
then who took it?
504
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,480
APPLAUSE
505
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:51,040
Thank you, contestant five.
And the scores are?
506
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:55,120
Go on, Margie, get up there.
I don't want to, Sid.
507
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,720
And our final pair of pins!
508
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,120
Go on, Sylvia.
509
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,280
Contestant number six is housekeeper
to Reverend Davenport
510
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,440
and his curate Mr Finch.
511
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:15,680
What did God say after creating man?
"I can do better."
512
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,840
And these legs are living proof.
513
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,440
Bloody hell.
Higher! Higher!
514
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,480
Lower! Lower!
515
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,240
Thank you, contestant number six.
516
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,640
And the scores are?
517
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,400
Well done, Sylvia.
518
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,400
And the winner is
contestant number 6!
519
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:33,920
Oh!
520
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:35,240
APPLAUSE
521
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,200
This might be the happiest day
of my life.
522
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,760
Our wedding apart, of course.
523
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,880
You know they give it
to the old girls out of sympathy.
524
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,440
Know that from experience, Margie?
525
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,600
Mrs Chapman.
526
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,800
Excellent.
527
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,680
A word, if you don't mind.
528
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,920
Mr Reeves would set up the men
with Sunny.
529
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,920
I'd film them.
530
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:12,520
In flagrante?
531
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,440
No, Sunny would never go that far.
532
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,400
She'd dance with them.
A kiss, maybe.
533
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,400
What other footage do you have?
534
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,440
You were filming
the night Mr Reeves died.
535
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,320
Er... just his comedy routine.
536
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,760
"Comedy" in inverted commas.
537
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,520
Can I take this?
538
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,120
Absolutely.
539
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,920
You're a clergyman?
That's right.
540
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,160
It's a rather delicate matter.
541
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,480
Anything you say
will be in confidence.
542
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,760
Your curate.
543
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,000
I saw him with a man.
544
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,160
They were in bed together.
545
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,680
That can't be the case.
546
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,880
Are you doubting what I saw?
547
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,560
I'm doubting your reading
of the situation.
548
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,440
What other way is there to read it?
549
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,440
I'll speak to him.
I should report it.
550
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:20,680
I'll speak to him.
551
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,360
Please, just...
just leave it with me.
552
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,600
Action has to be taken,
Mr Davenport.
553
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,480
He has to be dealt with.
554
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,280
INAUDIBLE
555
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,000
Bugger. Nothing.
556
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,560
Let's watch it again.
557
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,320
No, no, no, you don't.
558
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,360
You're gonna have dinner with me,
then we're going to dance,
559
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,640
before you walk me out
under the stars
560
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,880
to tell me that you love me.
561
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,480
Understood?
562
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,800
That sounds pretty comprehensive.
563
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,360
He keeps staring.
564
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,520
Have a drink, stop worrying.
565
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,960
I'm so scared.
Go on, you'll be great.
566
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:06,080
Roy promised he'd make her a star.
567
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,560
What she had to do
wasn't her choice.
568
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,760
Roy wasn't there
when she made a play for me.
569
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,920
Who said she was making a play?
570
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,000
Did it ever cross your mind that
it was as simple as she liked you?
571
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,680
Not now,
I've got butterflies enough.
572
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:37,080
I'm sorry. You can understand
why I thought what I thought.
573
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,800
That I was cheap?
574
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,400
That your intentions towards me
were...Cheap.
575
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,960
I'm not Margie.
I didn't say you were.
576
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,120
I didn't sleep with them.
577
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,520
I'm not hitching my wagon
to the first miserable old sod
578
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,520
who can get me out of here.
579
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,160
I liked you.
580
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,880
Liked, past tense?
581
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,680
SONG ENDS,
APPLAUSE
582
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:03,160
The Merries House Band!
583
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:10,920
Now, please, give a very warm
welcome to tonight's act,
584
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,400
Miss Pamela Smith.
585
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,040
We'll see.
586
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,760
Thank you. Thank you.
587
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,000
I've been doing some decorating
recently.
588
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:31,600
D'you know how many men it takes
to wallpaper a bedroom?
589
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,040
Well, depends on
how thinly you slice them.
590
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,200
LAUGHTER
591
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,000
A friend of mine once said
that marriage is...
592
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,640
The stout. What?
..a three-ring circus.
593
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,680
The lidocaine was in the stout.
Engagement ring,
594
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,920
wedding ring, suffering.
595
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,080
LAUGHTER
596
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,680
Right, don't take your eyes
off that glass.
597
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,880
Oh, bugger.
No, no, no. No.
598
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,080
Look how much stout's
in his glass now.
599
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:10,960
Maybe he got a top up.
600
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,520
Or someone gave him that glass.
601
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,760
I sometimes think wives
are like ventriloquists.
602
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,280
They sit there nodding
603
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,040
whilst the dummy
does all the talking.
604
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,880
LAUGHTER
605
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,440
You know what I mean, ladies,
"Yak, yak, yak."
606
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,760
Ah, my grandmother had it right.
607
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:34,280
She buried three husbands. Three!
608
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,960
Two of them were only napping.
609
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,800
My granny was onto something,
she really was.
610
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,400
She said the quickest way
to a man's heart
611
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,160
was through his chest.
LAUGHTER
612
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,640
She wasn't wrong.
613
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,360
You put the lidocaine
in your own drink
614
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:47,960
and you gave it to Roy.
615
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,600
I don't follow you.
616
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,440
Outside.
617
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,000
I have three pets, which is
pretty much like having a husband.
618
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,440
A dog who growls all morning,
a parrot who swears all day,
619
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,280
and a cat who comes home
late at night!
620
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,720
If your husband
brings you flowers, ladies,
621
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,520
and says it's for no reason,
there's a reason.
622
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,680
There is most definitely a reason.
623
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:09,640
HE REMEMBERS:'I'm not Margie.
624
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,960
'I'm not hitching my wagon
to the first miserable old sod
625
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,840
'who can get me out of here.'
626
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,120
'For goodness' sake, Sid,
do you have to make a show?
627
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,160
'Everyone's staring!'
628
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,800
Roy set out to ruin you, Sid.
629
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,240
You put enough lidocaine
in that drink to kill him.
630
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,120
That's right, isn't it?
No.
631
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,880
No, it isn't right.
632
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,600
It's pretty insensitive to bring
your wife here for your anniversary.
633
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,760
A place where everyone knew
about her past.
634
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,960
Perhaps that was
the final humiliation.
635
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,880
You put the lidocaine in Sid's pint.
636
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,800
And then Roy accidentally took
the pint intended for your husband.
637
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,680
When Sid fell, you must've thought
it was all going to plan.
638
00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:22,320
But he was drunk, not poisoned.
639
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:23,720
Sid!
640
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,320
I don't understand.
641
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,360
You took Sid back to your chalet.
642
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,120
But he wasn't dying.
SNORING
643
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:32,320
So you panicked.
644
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,520
And then, for some reason,
you went out again.
645
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,120
I still had the vial on me.
646
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,640
Had to get rid of it.
647
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,920
Margie, my love,
what are you saying?
648
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:46,920
We know Roy was in his office
because of the music.
649
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,160
BURST OF MUSIC
650
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,280
And we know he made it outside
because of the mud on his shoes.
651
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:52,520
COUGHS
652
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:53,840
GASPS
653
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,680
You knew Roy practised his routine
after hours.
654
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,920
So you dragged him
into the ballroom.
655
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,760
When I saw him, I knew.
656
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,600
Knew what, Margie?
657
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,240
That I'd killed the wrong man.
658
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,120
You don't mean that.
659
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,680
I don't understand. I don't.
660
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,560
You brought me here to score points.
661
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,240
How do you think that makes me feel?
662
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,120
Roy was the one who humiliated you.
663
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,160
You treat me like
some kind of prize.
664
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,800
I feel worthless, Sid.
665
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,880
You were nothing but a whore
when I met you.
666
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,960
And you still make me feel like one.
667
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,360
I saved you from the bastard.
That's not enough.
668
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,720
I gave you everything.
Not love, Sid.
669
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,360
You never gave me love.
670
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:12,320
Even on holiday, we can't be us.
671
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,160
Bryan would be a damn fool
to take it any further.
672
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,520
It's more than that.
673
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,000
We can never be ourselves.
674
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,880
I long to hold hands.
675
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,760
Imagine if we could hold hands
every day.
676
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,120
It would become very dull,
very quickly.
677
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,280
Come here.
678
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:59,320
Right now, straight to the car.
Stop running, Ivy!
679
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,760
Knew that Margie had a glint
in her eye. Oh, that's definitive.
680
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,160
I was right, though.
It was the wife.
681
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,600
You thought it was Roy's wife!
You can't just pick any wife.
682
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,240
These are yours.
683
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,120
Thank you.
684
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:25,640
I've spoken to Mr Finch.
685
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,800
And?
686
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,800
I'll be taking up the matter
on our return.
687
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,920
I felt it was my duty.
688
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,680
More than that,
I felt it was a moral obligation.
689
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,920
I hope you understand.
690
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,960
I'd appreciate it
if you'd let me handle it from here.
691
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,840
Of course.
692
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,200
What did he want?
693
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:52,640
Photographs.
That all?
694
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,440
What else would it be?
695
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,440
Now, I don't know about you,
696
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,920
but I am really looking forward
to getting home.
697
00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:08,400
Thing about this place,
everyone always leaves.
698
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,320
You could leave, too.
699
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,360
I'm going to. End of the season.
700
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,040
You're wrong, by the way.
701
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,200
I seem to be making a habit of that.
702
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:18,520
Maybe you work because you love it,
703
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,360
not because there's
something missing.
704
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,360
Shame.
705
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,080
I think I could've fallen in love
with you.
706
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,480
MRS REEVES:Welcome to Merries,
where there's never a dull day,
707
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,800
and the sun always shines.
708
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,600
Forget work,
709
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,520
leave your worries far behind
710
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:51,720
and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.
711
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:56,400
For those guests who are leaving us,
we wish you bon voyage.
712
00:44:56,440 --> 00:45:00,000
But don't despair, it's not forever.
713
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:05,240
Though you may be far away,
no distance can keep us apart.
714
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,960
We'll hold you safe in our hearts.
715
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,640
And in time, we'll meet again.
716
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,680
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