Original subtitles

Let's go.

Doc.

She has no recollection

of the last eight years.

Bring it on.

I came here to help you.

"Kitchen Nightmares ”

Are you in.

And “Going Dutch ”

Pew pew pew.

First guns I've seen on the base.

Let's go, let's go.

All available now.

LIX.

Is this like a fetish party?

It's a Super Bowl party.

Pro football uses Roman numerals to honor

when the league first formed back in ancient... Ohio.

Yeah, I don't care.

Thank God you guys are here.

Rob Gronkowski.

I love you.

That's cool.

Follow me.

We got a situation.

So, Rob gets the "L" word.

Interesting.

I've always wanted real, live mascots

for my Super Bowl party.

Last fall... I booked all 32 teams.

Oh, and then you cancel the ones

that don't make the game. That's just good party planning.

Why is Frank being so nice to this giant man?

And then my assistant forgot to cancel them.

Wait, does that mean...?

Gronk, your, uh...

incredible athleticism and extreme postseason success

excuse this dangerous lapse in judgment.

I have a lot of rings,

but I don't have a lot of self-control.

Everybody, bring it in! Bring it in.

Okay. Guys, here's the play.

Get the animals.

On one!

And... break!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Alright, Shred. Falcon's all yours.

Frank's scared of heights.

All good. I'm scared of heights too.

Really?

- Yeah. - Me too.

Okay. We have a cardinal and a lion.

Just a lion.

Alright, he's a big boy.

It's just a guy in a bear suit.

This party's crazy.

And he's hammered!

Alright, go home.

This one counts. Good job.

Buffalo is the only one left.

Hey, cowboy. Lasso me.

No. Hand me the lasso.

Thank you so much. Hate your team.

Okay. Here we go.

This might be the greatest moment of my life.

Sad, but probably true.

Run!!!!!!

Hey, guys.

Nothing? Okay, um...

I did send two emails and then a follow-up text to everyone,

with zero replies, but, uh, here I am in person, again,

just to say, I'm taking a personal day. So...

Kinda feels like this could've been an email, Emily.

Why are you taking off?

Um... it's no... no reason.

It's just a... just a personal day.

Guys, this is Emily's business,

and therapy's a sign of strength, not weakness.

Thank you, Shred.

Uh... but no, I'm not going to therapy.

Hey, you don't have to white knuckle it.

We all need therapy.

Don't listen to her.

Keep stuffing it down, sister. It works.

No, I'm not going to therapy.

Oh my God.

Your pregnant?

Oh... okay, okay.

Ahh... I'm leaving.

Um... oh, while I'm gone, Patel is in charge.

First of all, thank you.

Second, and this is to my staff.

If there is any weirdness... let's just talk it out.

It never feels good to get passed over.

Well, I'm cool with the weirdness,

so I should probably let you know that Emily asked me,

like, four times, and I turned her down every time.

Well, it doesn't matter how I got the corner office,

just that I did.

You can't use my office.

Ah, just a metaphor.

But are you being serious? 'Cause it's got the big desk.

Okay. Uh... yeah. That's fine. Whatever.

Just don't eat in there.

No, of course not.

Yeah. Okay, bye.

Yeah, yeah.

Bye!

I'll be in my office.

Apple.

Hey.

Hey.

You never take a personal day.

When you had jury duty, you tried to get it moved

to a weekend.

Yeah. Rick's coming back from Nepal today.

Bugger off.

Mm-hmm.

Are you guys going to meet up?

Well, you know, I have to give him his stuff

that he left at my apartment.

Really?

Yeah.

He's been without it for six months.

I mean, he doesn't need it.

Oh, that's true.

Um... I've also been driving his car

so that the battery doesn't die.

And then I also feed his parrot twice a day.

Woman!

No!

I'm just trying to be nice.

He was such a mess when we broke up, and...

I don't know, I just feel like I owe him a conversation

and some closure.

Screw that, no. You need to do a dead-drop.

A... a what?

You need to pack up his junk into his car,

drive it to his house, leave it there,

and never look back.

A dead-drop.

That's a thing?

Mm-hmm.

Um...

You know, that's a good idea.

I'm... no, I'm definitely gonna do a dead-drop.

100 percent. Thank you, friend.

Here I go.

That's it, I'm coming.

Okay.

Moving some essentials to my new command center.

Essentials, huh? Those dude wipes?

What the hell?

Did you do that?

Ow!

Everyone! Stop sitting in chairs!

Don't you see what's happening?!

Everything's falling apart without Emily.

No, look!

We're being pranked.

Templeton.

No, it can't be Templeton.

There's a prank truce between precincts.

That's right. It was declared after our last shenanigans.

The feeling was we went too far.

Oh, please. Everyone's hair grew back.

Except Lydia.

Yeah, well, there is always casualties.

And that's no reason to break the truce.

It's a matter of honor.

Templeton. The man has no honor and must pay.

Okay, guys. I think I see what's going on.

You're ramping up for a revenge prank.

Not today. Okay?

You still got those beavers in the back?

And what's our laxative status?

I have so many laxatives.

No, guys! I'm the boss today, so...

I'm gonna have to put my foot down here.

Not happening.

Or else... what?

Well...

You might, like... suspend us?

Maybe.

I'd like to see that.

Keep chirping and I will.

Chirp.

You're suspended.

With pay?

Technically, yeah. Yes.

Thanks. This is a win.

Wait. What... what just happened?

What just happened?

We just got a paid day off to plan a revenge prank.

Shred... what's your size in a bomb vest?

Probably a medium.

You know what, guys? I think...

I think we just need to take a beat.

And allow this to de-escalate?

Yeah.

Why don't you save that crap for your hippie sound bath?

This is war.

Shred... to battle.

Okay, no.

There's no battle. Shred. Don't go.

Guys, I'm the boss.

I'm the boss. Guys!

Okay, so I'm just gonna drop his car keys in the mail slot

and that'll be that.

Mm-hmm.

Whoo! You did it!

Congrats. Your first dead-drop.

Yay!

And if he doesn't key your car within the next 24 hours,

you're probably in the clear.

Wait, what?

You didn't tell me about possible retribution.

Almost never happens.

And the main thing is that you did it.

Let's go get coffee.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. Let's celebrate.

Maybe double whipped cream?

Stop!

I know, I know. I'll just do regular.

Prank selfie!

Is your head in the game?

I'm just excited, you know?

I've never been on the 'A team' for one of these

big pranks before.

Usually I'm a lookout or a decoy in drag, so...

this is a big deal.

We are releasing a family of beavers

into Templeton's precinct, and you're trying to make this

a sentimental moment?

Well, it's a big milestone in our partnership,

and it means a lot.

Templeton.

What?

- What? - War criminal.

You are without honor.

Me? You broke the truce.

You just made our chairs collapse.

and Lydia sprained her tailbone.

Hold on. You made our chairs collapse!

Does that sound like a prank from the guy who turned

your parking lot into a registered pickleball court?

Oh, yeah. That was diabolical.

The sound of dinking drove our dogs insane.

Wait, I'm getting a text from 911?

Samesies.

It says, "you've been burned".

Fire emoji.

Chair emoji.

Fire emoji.

And the eggplant emoji.

Wait a minute.

Have we both been pranked by the fire department?

Oh, they wouldn't dare.

But... well, there is a history.

Sorry. Wait.

Why do you think it's the fire department?

Oh, they hate us because they know we're the real heroes.

We won't get cats out of trees. It's been an issue for years.

This just got bigger than the both of us.

And considering my height and your weight,

that is saying something.

Needlessly mean. We need a sit-down.

Neutral ground only.

Can you get away now?

Oh, yeah. Uh... we're suspended.

How are you feeling?

Honestly, I feel so good.

See? It's counterintuitive, but a dead-drop

makes you feel alive.

Yeah, I'm way too amped up to just go back to the office.

I know a nail salon with a liquor license.

So we could... hang on. Is that...?

Rick's car being towed?

Wait, no! Stop! That's my car!

That's my boyfriend-- it's my ex-boyfriend--

It's a long story. Just stop!

It's a long story... stop!

You want mine?

Got a sec, boss?

What can I do for you, Carl?

Ooh.

Looks like you got a little minestrone

on Emily's nice desk.

Yeah.

It's really somethin'.

She's a beaut, isn't she?

There's a button underneath this desk, Carl.

I have no idea what it does,

but I've been pressing it all morning.

Did you suspend two officers without a formal review

and with no union representative present?

Ah. First day at the helm, Carl.

Is that how I was supposed to do it?

Uh... it is.

Off the record.

There was a little game of chicken earlier,

and they called my bluff, but... I think it's gonna be cool.

Mmm... it's not going to be cool.

Yeah, as president of the union,

I need to take this to the membership.

Really?

You're gonna take this to the membership?

Yeah.

What if I make this whole shop non-union, Carl?

Mm.

What are you gonna do then, Carl?

I'm doing it again, Carl. I'm sorry, Carl.

Can you let me out, please?

The button.

Mystery of the button solved! Let's start over, come on.

So, what do you say, froggy?

You wanna jump into a little trouble?

Oh, yeah.

Let's hit those fire sluts with both barrels.

Agreed.

I've already sketched up something down and dirty.

Does it involve beavers?

'Cause I can probably get ahold of some

fecal incontinent beavers.

Just spitballing.

We take their bell.

The one that signaled the great Seattle fire of 1899?

And when I say great, I mean horrible.

Yeah. That bell.

Fiendish yet simple.

You son of a bitch.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but get in.

Oh, just like that? I'm supposed to trust you?

My God, look at Lydia.

Hi, Lydia.

Hey, Lydia! Love the hat, girl.

Like she has a choice. I'm gonna need insurance.

In feudal Japan, to ensure the safe passage of an enemy,

the Samurai would offer up a hostage.

Cool. Shred, you're a hostage.

What?

I just finished telling you how important it was to me

that I'm part of this prank.

I know. You'll be a big part of the next one, I promise.

Wow.

Betrayal selfie.

Dang it!

Still a keeper.

It begins.

Precinct 23 and Precinct 22 in an unholy alliance.

Gross.

That's why I did that.

An unholy alliance.

Okay.

I feel like you're mad at me.

Of course I'm mad at you!

I mean, Rick is gonna be back in two hours,

and if he sees his car and all his things gone,

I'm gonna look like some crazy ex-girlfriend.

Well, you do feed his parrot twice a day, so at this point,

I think you are a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Okay, well, the dead-drop was definitely

the wrong move.

No, not reading the street signs was the wrong move.

The dead-drop is the only way to handle a breakup.

Okay.

You don't want drama.

Oh, well, I got drama. Drama is all I got.

To start with, this isn't even my car.

Well, that's gonna be a problem.

Okay, I barely started my story, Jenny.

I can't give you the car without the registration.

Well, that's probably in the car.

Great! Then open her up.

Uh... the keys are at Rick's.

Mm-hmm.

Are you sure it's unlocked?

Yeah. Always.

He said it sounded silly, but he felt safer

knowing that the window was unlocked.

The mink haunted his dreams.

What about him wasn't weird?

Yeah, not much.

Okay. Engage your core.

Okay. I'm gonna go for it.

I'm gonna go for it. - Go for it!

- They're eating lunch. - This is perfect.

There it is. Okay, we just climb up and grab it.

Whoa...

A lot of food.

Tri-tip and crab legs?

Wait, are our taxes paying for surf and turf?

Yeah. Ever since they saved that kid

from the Ballard Locks, their budget's been unlimited.

We'll get on the truck and grab the bell. Simple.

You're not gonna crawl, are you?

No. That'd hurt my knees.

Look, they get super weird about anybody

touching their trucks.

You can tell by how much time they spend polishing them.

Hello?

What are you doing?

Looking for your balls.

You think I'm scared?

I think you're a scaredy cat.

No. I rescue scaredy cats.

Okay.

Don't touch my butt.

I'm not gonna.

Oh my God!

What?

They're shaving truffles over penne.

Pasta after steak?

They have their coursing all wrong.

They're not even in season! Hayseeds.

Emergency!

These guys are incredible.

We got 30 seconds to get off of here. Go!

Rolling out, people!

Oh my God.

Were they already in the truck?

Get down or they'll see us.

Oh, my God. That better be your taser!

We will not stand for unlawful firings or violations.

Hello?

Shred. Hey. Frank's not picking up.

Listen, I need you to come back.

Can't.

I'm a hostage.

Listen, that suspension joke I made earlier,

I think it might be, uh... becoming a thing.

So, you're just gonna breeze past the fact

that I said I'm a hostage?

I'm sorry. How are you doing?

Not great, bud.

Frank said I'd be a big part of the prank,

and I'm not a big part of the prank, like, at all.

I'm just... insurance.

That's brutal.

Listen, I really need you to come back.

I can't.

It's a whole honor thing. Plus, Lydia took my shoes.

I... I gotta call you back.

Excuse me, guys. Not now. Guys!

Carl! What the hell, man?

It's a walkout in solidarity with officers Shaw and Taylor.

Guess you got your non-union shop.

Carl, come on, man.

You know, we were just saying things.

Carl!

Oh...

I can see why Emily went with Frank first.

Okay.

You got the keys. Let's go.

Oh, look, he still has my DVD player.

Oh, and my, um... surge protector.

Oh, well, I'll just reach out to him later

to get all this stuff.

No! That's... no. That defeats the whole purpose.

We are grabbing everything now.

Okay? Where's the wine cellar?

His wine cellar? Uh... he doesn't--

Do you want a lamp? Do you want this?

That's not mine.

I think you should take it.

This doesn't look great.

Hi.

I've counted four lefts and seven rights.

We're either heading towards Queen Anne

or straight into Puget Sound.

I can't swim, Frank!

Wait. We're stopping.

What? We're back at the station?

What should we do?

What?

What the hell?

I believe this is the part of the movie

where the hero says... gotcha!

Wait a minute. Did you just...

I pranked the crap out of you, Frank!

Yeah! The whole thing was me!

Whoa! What's happening? What are you doing?

What's happening?

Your chairs, my chairs. Right?

I even had the firefighters in on it, Frank!

You Judas! You broke the truce!

I shattered the truce.

Just like you shattered Lydia's ankle

when you brought the horse to our locker room. Huh?

You can burn! You can all burn!

Wow. A little joke, a little ha-ha,

and you want us to die in a fire.

This is what I was talking about.

I'd spit on you Templeton,

but I'm too scared to lean forward!

All the way up, take him up! Nah, you ruined it, Frank.

We're going higher now.

You know, I totally get why you're arresting us.

But you know, from one city employee to another,

I can definitely explain. See my ex-boyfriend--

I've found in these situations, it's best to remain silent.

Okay. Do you think--

Emily! Oh, my God. What is happening?

Rick! Hi.

Oh, nothing, really. I just, um...

I did stop by with some of your stuff to drop off,

and then I broke into your house.

But it turns out you have a lot of

really vigilant neighbors, so...

Hey, Rick. Love the beard.

It looks really nice on you.

Can I get them... unarrested? We're all friends here.

Friends? Really?

Of course we're friends.

How are you doing?

Uh... I'm better than this looks.

You?

I'm... I'm... I'm doing good.

Yeah.

Uh, so... Em... this is Anna.

- Hi. - We met in Nepal.

Hi.

Ahh!

I didn't want to get out 'cause this already seemed...

...weird, but our driver has to get to her next ride.

Uh... yeah.

Okay, then. Um... so nice to meet you.

Hello.

Um... so, this is great. This is so great.

Templeton, why do you have handcuffs?

Oh my God, Frank!

Shred! Is that you? Help me!

Hey, Lydia. Thanks for bringing him.

Told you I'd make you whole.

You bastard. He's terrified of heights.

That's the whole point!

Shred!

If I plummet to my death, I want you to know

that I'm sorry that I let you get taken hostage!

It's okay, man. I forgive you. I...

I love you, Frank.

Six stories up, I still can't get the "L" word.

I'll let you down if you admit

I won the seven-year prank war.

No way!

Okay, well, then you're staying up there.

I admit it!

What? Okay, hold on.

I didn't... I didn't think you'd cave that quickly.

Hold on.

Say it again.

I admit you won the prank war.

Okay, and say I love you, Templeton!

I love you, Templeton!

Say I love you, Lydia.

I love you, Lydia.

And I love you, Shred.

For you.

No. I tried.

Okay. Let him down, boys.

We'll let you down. In one hour.

Enough's enough. The calls are really piling up.

I got not one, but two coyotes loose in a residential area.

They're not getting any less rabid.

How do we make this right?

Reinstate the suspended officers.

I reinstated them, they just haven't made their way back

to the office yet.

Well, that's a start.

There's still some lingering hard feelings.

Personally, for me, as a union boss.

I see.

There's not anything management can do

to fix those lingering feelings?

I'm sure we could figure something out.

Wow. I just did not expect him to show up

with another woman, so...

And she sucks. She's the worst.

Does she suck? 'Cause she seemed kinda great.

And he seemed pretty good, too.

And he was so cool about us being arrested.

And he's really non-judgmental,

which is a really nice quality that he has.

Why did we break up again?

Okay. Where are you going with this?

It was just kinda hard to see him.

I don't know.

Oh, God. I don't wanna cry. I don't wanna cry.

Darling.

Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

It's stupid.

Is it possible that maybe you're the one who wasn't done

processing the breakup, and that maybe you needed closure?

Oh, um, I don't... I don't know.

Maybe. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. I didn't know that.

Um... maybe... maybe dead-drop was the wrong move.

Oh. Do you think?

It's gonna be okay.

Really?

Hell yeah.

You alright, big guy?

I feel like I let the precinct down.

And you let me down.

And I apologized for that.

Only because you thought you were gonna die.

You're not getting another.

Fine.

I mean, somehow, against all odds and human reason,

Templeton beat us.

And I betrayed that which I held most dear.

Me?

God, no. My honor.

Right.

Well... an honorable man like you

would have no interest in this.

Templeton's personnel file.

Wait, you stole this?

I did, yeah.

I love that you did that.

Okay, well, there was a few extra words mixed in there,

but I'm only gonna focus on three.

This says his ex-wife was a redhead,

and that he was cited for

forming a Sasquatch search party.

This is the mother lode!

Yeah. It's crazy what's in there.

But I conceded.

Gave my word.

Yeah, but I didn't.

Good point.

We got work to do.

So when do you wanna get--

Do you mind? I'm trying to read.

Yeah.

Hey. Look who it is.

Didn't know you were coming in today.

I just wanted to stop by, see if everything went okay.

Oh, great.

That's incredible news.

I think I have my new go-to interim supervisor.

Yeah. You know what?

I think I got it outta my system.

Don't be humble.

Where's my desk?

Good night!

Patel? Patel, where's my desk?!

I had a desk!

Shred!

Carl.

Weird.