Original subtitles

Wuhu!

[distorted] ♪ The Simpsons ♪

Fellow heartbroken environmentalists,

we've tried to find a place in Springfield where something, anything, will grow.

And this could be the spot.

[crowd chattering]

Why am I optimistic about this oil-stained Fury Road?

Because look, something finally grew!

[crowd gasps]

[all gasping]

Oh, no, you don't.

I own this land, and I decide what grows here. Nothing.

It was just a daisy.

Now disperse, you tree-smooching trespassers,

unless you're staying for tonight's hobo philharmonic.

[♪ playing "Symphony No. 5"]

Spoon section, on the downbeat, am I hearing a fork?

[chuckles]

Why even try to plant flowers?

In this hideous town, there's no point to anything.

[groans] Poor Lisa.

There's nothing harder than when your kid's so depressed,

it slightly bums you out.

Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear.

I'm a child therapist who specializes in ecological melancholy.

Ooh, fun job.

Look, Doc, I'll tell you how to cure my depression.

Fix this horrible world!

Oh! You can't? Join the club. No one can make a difference.

Don't give up hope, honey.

There's gotta be some new high-tech therapy thing now

that you haven't tried.

AI is destroying everyone else's career, can't it hollow out yours?

Oh, no. Not until far, far

into next month.

I've had great results lately with these EMDR stimulators.

You hold each of these tappers in your hands and they pulse gently,

helping the brain process negative thoughts.

Sometimes they even send people into a hypnogogic state.

I'm sorry,

but my mind's gonna need something a little more sophisticated

than a couple of table buzzers from TGI… [slurring] …Friday.

[♪ jazz music playing]

[Lisa] Whoa.

Where am I? This is some good hypnagogia.

Our sax player is out.

Somehow he mixed up his sugar and his opium.

Worst sugar allergy I've ever seen.

How… How are we gonna get a new sax player at the last minute?

Edith, you play, right?

Edith? You mean me?

Wow. This dream is primo. Louis primo.

Might as well go with it.

[♪ jazz music continues]

Ladies and gentlemen, you love him.

He's the bee's knees who sings to please. Monty B!

What?

♪ Well, the coolest guy In the present is me ♪

♪ And by present, I mean 1923 ♪

♪ I'm known as the kindest cat around ♪

♪ I give money to the poor And walk my friendly hounds ♪

♪ Burnsy, Burnsy, Burnsy, Burns ♪

♪ That's the name you gotta learns ♪

Are you Mr. Burns?

Mr. Burns? [chuckles]

That's my watch-winding, ledger-loving papa.

I'm Monty B. Now let's get this joint jumpin'.

Wow. My subconscious is working overtime.

Why is this place called the Little Moose Club?

That's on account of all them pint-sized moose running around town. Look.

[moose rutting]

- Oh, my God. They're so cute. - [moose grunts]

They look sweet, but dang, we all hate 'em.

Their fur makes everyone sneeze.

They're the perfect height to trip over. And they bellow off key.

[moose bellowing]

They're terrible pests that get into everything.

Look. The town has just declared open season on killing 'em.

- [chuckles] - [gasps]

Edith, if we were jamming any harder in there, we would have made marmalade.

Ha. Wow. You just said something nice. I like this young dream version of you.

Well, you sound a little off your onions, but I like you too.

Now let's mark our meeting by ruining this Irish fellow's cement work.

Irish Stu gets no respect from you.

[muttering] Hmm?

I don't normally support vandalism, but since this isn't real, I'll cut loose.

[Lisa] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Aw. [clamors]

- [sneezes] - [tapper buzzing]

The sneeze woke me up.

Whoa. I had the wildest dream.

Lisa, I want you to take these tappers home.

Write down what happens in your dreams, so we can analyze them.

It seemed like I'd gone back in time.

But obviously that's crazy.

Don't say that, sweetie. "Crazy" is not a word we use in our family.

Twelve dollars for parking? What kind of crazy office is this?

Lady, you're crazier than Lisa and she's crazy!

To summarize, can I borrow $12?

And if you think I'm gonna pay you back, you're crazy.

Like Lisa.

I just can't get that dream out of my mind.

I wonder what Old Springfield really looked like?

Gazebo, pergola, pavilion.

[gasps]

Wait. The Little Moose Club actually existed?

Mmm. Mmm? [gasps]

It's me, or Edith. [gasps] Or both!

You're not gonna believe it.

In that dream I had, I went to a Jazz Age club.

And look! I was this woman.

Oh.

I think that was your great-grandmother Edith.

She was a flapper.

But how could I have known to dream I was her?

You must have seen her picture in an old photo album

and it stayed in your head.

Yep. That's one of the dream laws enforced by the dream police.

That's just a record by Cheap Trick.

Cheap Trick is your answer to everything.

It all just felt so real.

But, yeah… I mean, a young, cool, jazz-singing Mr. Burns?

[sighs] I just gotta surrender to my overactive imagination.

♪ Surrender, surrender ♪

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Hey ♪

[stutters]

Hey. I used to be the plow king, that's right.

- Mr. Gumble, are you okay? - [groans]

[gasps] Oh, my God.

The picture I drew a hundred years ago is actually there.

It wasn't a dream. I traveled through time.

Me too. I passed out on Tuesday and now it's Wednesday.

It's Friday.

Friday? All right, I can sleep in tomorrow.

These tappers sent my consciousness back in time

into the body of my ancestor,

in a Jazz Age nightclub that used to be where Moe's is.

And then there were these tiny moose and Mr. Burns was cool.

♪ Burnsy, Burnsy, Burnsy, Burns ♪

Even Lisa's way of going nuts is nerdy.

When I go crazy, it will be on the news.

Oh, boy. I don't know.

We've got to find a way to get her mind out

of this silly world of magic and make-believe.

Dear God, invisible creator of all things,

please use your superpowers to help my daughter.

And a pizza oven.

After a decade of work, I've finally succeeded.

- The perfect Arnold Palmer. - [knocking on door]

Excuse me, Professor?

You're the only person I can talk to about this.

Oh, well, please have a seat.

Uh, if you can wait six hours, I can make you an Arnold Palmer.

Professor, I think I traveled back through time into the body of my ancestor.

Lisa, I'm a man of science,

so I have to dismiss that kind of tomfoolery.

But, I am also a man of science fiction. So make like a Petri and dish.

Your experience most resembles a quantum leap,

minus the Scott Bakula-tions.

But why is this happening?

Well, it's quite obvious.

The universe must want you to accomplish something in the past.

Oh. Accomplish something in the past?

I can't even get a flower to grow in the present.

Mmm… [mutters]

In Old Springfield, did you notice anything different or unusual?

I did. There were these mini moose everywhere.

Mini moose? Well, to the Internet-mobile.

Uh, clickety, clickety, and clack.

[video narrator] The Springfield mini moose went extinct in 1925.

That's right after the time I traveled to.

These vulnerable little creatures were likely the region's keystone species.

Once they were removed, Springfield's ecosystem collapsed.

That's why our town turned into a concrete hellscape.

If I save the moose, I'll save Springfield.

That must be my mission. I have to try to go back.

[slurps] Ugh.

It's a little sweet.

Oh, wonderful. Well, fail, fail, fail.

[Lisa] Gotta save the mini moose.

- [yells] - [thumping]

Oh. Gotta save the remaining mini moose.

Um, excuse me, Monty.

Edith, come in.

I was just babysitting the kids.

Orchids, that is.

You know, gardening is a lot like jazz.

Oh! That's it. Well, the flowers are so beautiful.

Thanks. Whenever I feel a rage coming on, I visit my greenhouse and it calms me.

It's my gladsome place.

Nice. Mine is a stool behind the water heater in our basement.

I read by the pilot light.

These are so unusual-looking.

Spilotantha Daphne. Named after my dear mother,

Spilotantha.

She bred them.

As she was dying, she begged me to take care of them.

They're all I have left of her. [sobs]

Wow. It certainly nails the prominent schnoz.

Yes, she was quite ugly.

My family insists that I become a ruthless tycoon,

but I just want to sing and grow orchids like Mother.

Monty, everyone in this town wants to kill all the mini moose.

But if they die, it'll ruin the town.

Will you help me save them?

Should I come to the aid of these miniature morons?

We have a new song about the endangered mascots of Springfield:

"The Mini Moose."

But what about the hit song "Mini Moose Mamma, Let's Kill You Tonight"?

Okay. Wow. But this one is even better.

[♪ band plays jazz music]

♪ Every town needs a symbol To make its mark ♪

♪ Something keen to set it Above the rest ♪

♪ New York's got Central Park And St. Louis has its arch to the West ♪

The St. Louis what now?

Shoot. That hasn't happened yet? It's coming.

♪ Paris has got its Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Mount Olympus has its Zeus ♪

♪ London Bridge gives London power ♪

♪ And Springfield's got the mini moose! ♪

I guess they do make our town unique.

♪ Don't kill our moosey mascots ♪

♪ Like they're some kind of threat ♪

♪ Give them lots of cuddles Like they're your favorite pet ♪

I'm charmed by their vacant stares and high-pitched flatulence.

♪ So instead of kicking ♪

♪ How about going Patty patty patty pat! ♪

♪ Patty patty patty pat! ♪

♪ Scritchy scratch, scritchy scratch! ♪

♪ Scritchy scratch, scritchy scratch! ♪

♪ They're all convinced now So you can stop the song! ♪

♪ We're all convinced now So you can stop the song ♪

- Yay! - Huzzah!

[audience cheering]

Let's go. Let's go, little moosies.

Monty, we did it. We've created a mini moose sanctuary.

My eyes are tearing up with emotion, and from all the moose dander.

[all sneeze]

Professor, I think I did it. I saved our keystone species.

So Springfield should now be a lush, verdant wonderland.

No! What happened?

I didn't change anything. I can never change anything.

Well, no, you did do something.

The mini moose did not die out in 1925.

Really?

Now they died out in 1923.

No, no, no! I accelerated their extinction?

Oh, God. I have to go right back and...

[Marge] No one's going right back anywhere.

[gasps] My dream journal. You read it?

I'm a mom. Diaries are like crack for me.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but Mom and I think you've gone completely wackadoodle.

I haven't even gone remotely wackadoodle.

I've gone back in time. I have concrete proof.

No, literally, the proof is in the concrete!

I'll show you.

We think you need a break from the tappers.

You give those back! I need them to save Springfield!

Oh, no, Lisa. Nothing leaves the hive.

If I don't find another set of tappers,

this town is doomed to be as bad as it currently is!

Who do I know who does more therapy than I do?

You want therapy equipment? Therapy equipment I got.

Transcranial magnets, vagus nerve activators,

AC and DC stimulators, and therapy dog.

He does seem comforting, but I need the tappers.

You can soothe me anytime, Waggles.

- [Waggles snarls] - Ow!

My tappers. Where did you get them?

Mom fell asleep eating some gummies,

so I went through her hair looking for my burp gun, and I found these.

Thank you, Bart.

You're the only one who believes these sent me back in time.

- [toy gun burps] - Wrong.

When they ship you to the funny farm, I get two rooms.

I don't know what really killed all the mini moose,

but I'm gonna stop it.

[moose bellowing]

People of Springfield, we are in desperate times.

This is our last stand. Our final chance to save the mini moose!

- [moose roaring] - Uh-oh.

No!

My Spilotantha Daphne.

No! Not even a stamen left.

Oh, no.

W-Well, we can grow more. Surely you've saved seeds?

They only thrive in the shadow of their mother plant. Just like me.

[sobs]

I'm so sorry.

If I can never have beauty, neither will Springfield.

I will become a tycoon and pave over the entire town.

And to make certain that nothing grows,

I'll salt the earth, pepper the oceans and cumin the sky!

No, no, no! This can't be happening!

[Lisa sneezes]

Oh, my God, Bart.

The moose extinction didn't ruin Springfield,

I did. I made Mr. Burns evil.

Oh, my God, Lisa.

- This thing also has a fart setting. - [toy gun farts]

[crow squawks]

Excuse me, sir.

There's a little girl here who refuses to let go of my leg

until she speaks to you.

Mr. Burns? We need to talk right now.

I, or rather me as my ancestor,

performed with you at the Little Moose Club in 1923.

And if you don't believe me, how else could I know this?

♪ Burnsy, Burnsy, Burnsy, Burns That's the name you gotta learns! ♪

- Edith? - Yes. Sort of.

Look. Do you remember the mini moose?

Remember them? I helped send them back to hell.

I'm asking you to recall the young man who loved flowers.

He would want you to restore our town.

I am trying to trapdoor you,

but I can't figure out which button it is on this new remotorized controller.

I thought I was signing up for the softball team!

Anyway, I have never smelled a flower in my life.

Now out!

What was I thinking?

Of course it's too late now to change that bitter old monster.

My only chance is to take one more shot

at convincing young Mr. Burns not to destroy Springfield,

although the last two times I went back, I made things way worse. Meh.

[♪ baroque harpsichord playing]

Monty, you have to believe me.

I'm from a hundred years in the future,

where you've become bitter, mean, and have ravaged our town's environment!

[scoffs] The future? Sounds like someone needs a little moose oil.

Why should I do anything to keep this knuckle-dragging palookaville beautiful,

after the wanton destruction of my beloved Spilotantha Daphne orchids?

But wouldn't beautifying the world make your mother proud?

Mother. Maybe it would.

Maybe it wouldn't.

Yes, that's right. It's me, Mr. Burns from the future.

How did you get here?

I used your buzzers to zap my old self into my young brain box.

Now, hear this, young me.

The life of a selfish tycoon is beyond compare.

How so?

Through exploitation, war profiteering, and owning the Las Vegas Raiders,

you will amass billions!

That does sound possibly excellent.

Yes. You'll have a Picasso in every bathroom, an army of loyal hounds,

and command your own Smithers.

Wealth, power, whatever a Smithers is. It's all hard to resist.

But still, I feel a profound darkness in my future self.

Maybe I should find another path.

Yes! All you have to do is believe that one person can make a difference.

Dang it!

Dad! I was just about to save Mr. Burns's soul,

and change the course of this town's history.

[groans]

Hmm?

I win. I convinced young me to become old me.

And warned him not to marry Roseanne Barr.

He's got a little more spring in his step. That's something.

[grunts]

Uh, don't forget your dream journal.

Oh, just throw it in the core.

Mr. Gumble, are you okay?

I left a wake-up call for 8:15.

"Edith, I left you something in the basement of the joint where we first met."

A message from Monty B? I gotta get into Moe's basement.

Moe, please do a favor for a young girl hesitating

to feel even a shred of hope, for fear of...

I don't care about your internal struggle, okay?

Down you go.

[Monty B] My friend. I've made my choice.

But I had one last bit of good in my heart, so I had to purge myself of it!

I've left you a couple remaining orchid seeds

and funding for a beautiful park,

once you sell the priceless Tiffany lamp I've enclosed.

- [broken glass clattering] - Oh…

It should be safe, packed in worthless tobacco baseball cards.

[Lisa gasps]

These are worth a fortune.

Thank you, Monty B.

Sweetie, I'm still very troubled by all the crazy things you claim you did,

but you seem happy right now, so all good.

It's a great garden.

Thanks, Mom. It turns out one little girl can make a difference…

[mutters softly] As long as she travels through time.

What a waste of time, space and money.

I'd release the hounds on you if this park allowed dogs off leash.

[dogs growling]

[sniffs] You're as lovely as ever, Mother.

[jazz music playing]

♪ Mini moose mamma Don't you know I wanna ♪

♪ Wipe you off the face of planet Earth ♪

♪ I come from Lackawanna Where I hear you are the fauna ♪

♪ And I'm gonna shoot you dead For what it's worth ♪

♪ I'm gonna give a moose call And then I'll shoot you dead ♪

♪ And up on the wall Will go your mini moose head ♪

♪ Mini moose mamma You're my favorite ungulate ♪

♪ Better than a llama That I'd like to terminate ♪

♪ Mini moose mamma Like the Oxford comma ♪

♪ I'm dying to eradicate ♪

♪ I'm gonna kill you tonight By the silvery moon ♪

♪ I'll call you "mini moose delight" And eat you with a spoon ♪

Shh.