All language subtitles for Shifting Gears S01E06

You need a Valentine's goody bag
for every kid in the class?

My teacher says
no one should feel left out.

She doesn't want the nerds
to be reminded they're nerds.

That's very sweet. It's like
affirmative action for dorks.

It's about time
we got some action.

Hey, Carter,
help me with something.

You're in the robotics club, right?

But somehow the coat hook
is just too advanced for you?

Yeah, kids. You know jackets
go on the couch.

Ooh. Where you going
all done up?

I got a thing.

What thing?

A thing.

He's not gonna tell us.

We can go on his phone later.
His password is 1776.

- It's a lady. Up top, Pops.
- Ha-ha.

It's Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna go see your grandma.

Oh, boy.

Pops, Grandma's dead.

No way.
Somebody should've told me.

I love that
you're visiting Mom today,
but I have to go to work,

and I was hoping
you could watch the kids.

You say "the kids." They're not
my kids. They're your kids.

My kids are grown up
and barely surviving.
This isn't my job, honey.

Mom, I can watch Georgia.

I mean, I'm 15.
It's time I learn to be
the man of the house anyway.

You seen how much bacon he eats?

Are you sure?
I'll be gone all day.

And it's not like back in Vegas
where fat Elvis
would keep an eye on you.

This is
a really safe neighborhood.

The only homeless people are
right here in this living room.

[puffs] Oh, hey, uh,
sorry I'm late.

You know, I wanted to get here
earlier, but you know Riley.
"Blah, blah, blah."

Couldn't get out of the house.

But you're probably busy,
though,

playing bocce ball
with Saint Peter, you know.

Having a meal
with Gandhi, finally.

Excuse me.

I think you're talking
to my husband, Raymond.

No, Raymond's over there.
I'm talking to my wife, Diane.

Oh. Phew! [laughs]

I don't know,
I saw some guy with flowers.

I started to wonder if Ray
didn't tell me everything.

[Raymond's widow] Hmm.

Any idea
how much longer you need?

Well, it's my dead wife.
It's not a treadmill.

- But if you're in a hurry,
I supp--
- Oh, thanks so much.

Diane, I bet you got
some stories.

Oh. Thank God you're both here.

- You okay?
- My boss at the dance studio

wants to make a video
of all the employees
dancing for social media.

So, what's the problem?

If I could dance, I would have
made way more money in Vegas.

Yeah, in fourth grade, she got
kicked out of the school
production of Oklahoma!

Only white girl
asked to leave Oklahoma.

Well, I am just gonna hide
in here, and everyone
will forget I exist.

It's worked so far
with the bill collectors.

Well, you know what else works?
Paying your damn bills.

Riley, I'm gonna teach you
some dance moves.

I need some music. Stitch.

[beatboxing]

That's it. Okay, there we go.
You ready?

First move, Checking the Oil,
and it starts with the hips.

Check the oil. Check that oil.

Check the oil. Check that oil.

Check the oil. Check that oil.

Okay. Next move.

If you wanna go
with something a little softer,

we go with Change the Tire.

And it starts with the hips.

We go low. We go low.

Then we change the tire.
Change that tire.
Change the tire.

Change that tire.
Change the tire.

- Change that tire.
Change the tire.
- And God took my legs?

Hey, uh, what are you doing?

You're supposed to be putting
candy into the bags.

I don't consider Maisey
peanut-butter-cup worthy.

Uh, and you're not
supposed to be eating those.

You're not the boss of me.

Uh, Mom left me in charge.

Plus, I'm older than you.
I'm bigger than you.
I'm smarter--

I'm bigger than you.

Oh. I see what this is about.

- You wanna wet your beak.
- What?

Here you go.

Don't you have, like,
a bike to ride or something?

[coughs] Eucalyptus?

Yeah, it always
brought Ray peace.

[coughs] Always brought me
an allergy attack.

- Oh, gosh. I'm sorry.
- [coughs]

I'm sorry.
I-I-I should have asked first.

[coughs] Well, at least
if I die... [clears throat]
...I'm close to home.

Ah, I see Diane
is gonna spend eternity
on top. [chuckles]

Too soon?

Do you ever not say the first
thing that comes into your mind?

Hey, look,
you don't exactly scream

"maybe I should keep
that hot take to myself."

- I keep a lot of stuff
to myself. I do.
- Okay.

Some stuff.

A few things.

- People are idiots.
What can I say?
- Mmm. Hmm.

Yeah, no, they-they-they
really are. [chuckles]

Thanks for letting me
have some time alone with her.

She loved Valentine's Day.

Ray loved Valentine's Day too.

Yeah, he wrote me poems.
He gave me flowers.

I mean, he wanted
something else,
but he hid it well.

[Matt chuckles]

I don't get here
as much as I should.

Well, how long has it been?

Oh... Be about
a little over a year now.

Ah. So you're still in it.

Yeah, I mean,
it's been five years for me.

And don't worry,
it-it does get easier
to move on eventually.

I find that hard to believe.

Have you tried
any support groups?

- Did my daughter send you?
- [chuckles]

She's got opinions about...

Well, she's got opinions
about everything really.

Well, there are some
really good ones out there.

I can... I can send you a link.

I'm not into support groups
or any groups with, um,
people in them.

Huh.

Well, um, another thing
that helped me move on
is just getting back out there.

Have you started trying to
connect with someone new?

I'm not ready for that.

Oh. Yeah. Right.
Well, it involves people.

Well, when you are ready,

you know Olsen's Food Market
in the... in the Arts District?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?

Well, it's a great place
to meet older singles.

Well, I've been there.

That would explain
why that woman
wanted me to bend over

to pick up something
on the lower shelf.

Yeah. I gotta try that.
[chuckles]

Uh, I go there quite a bit
to, uh, to, you know, mmm, shop.

[phone chimes]

- Ooh, excuse me.
- Yeah.

Uh... [chuckles]

- What... What's so funny?
- Ah, that's funny.

My granddaughter just puked
on my grandson...

- Ugh.
- ...but he's just...

It's probably not that funny,
really. I probably should go.

Um, listen, um...

This little support group
wasn't bad.

Well, I could text you
some info on a real one

in case you change your mind.

- Here.
- [phone beeps]

There you go.

I changed my mind
once in the '70s.
I didn't like it then, so...

Yeah.

Is she gonna make it?

It's candy, not Ebola.

How did you eat so much candy?

It's a gift.

- And a curse.
- [Matt chuckles]

- Uh-oh, Grandpa.
- Hold, hold it, hold, hold.

Garbage, garbage, garbage,
garbage, garbage, garbage.

Watch out, watch out, watch out.
Hair. There.

All right. Okay.

[retching]

Solid hair-holding technique.

Used to it.
Your mom used to love keggers.

- [groans] Okay.
- All right.

I think I got all the evil out.

- Yeah, you did.
- I'm gonna go lay down.

- Okay. Rinse your mouth out,
all right?
- Mm-hmm.

And lay down, cover up,
and I'll be right up there, okay?

[groans] We gotta let
your mom know that she's sick.

Or do we?

We do.

Oh, I see what you're doing.

You wanna wet your beak.

You're a very strange kid.

It's just, she got sick
while Mom left me in charge.

Mom's gonna be really pissed.

Most likely, yeah.

That's part of growing up, kid.

You gotta be responsible
for the stuff you do.

Like when you dropped me
when I was five
and told Grandma I tripped?

Wow. The fact that
you remember that says
I didn't drop you hard enough.

[♪ electronic music plays]

- ♪ I'm a devil
wearing Prada...♪
- Nope.

- [song stops]
- Nope.

These girls weren't built
for dancing. Okay?

God clearly built me
to carry overflowing beer steins

during medieval happy hour,
not dance.

Dancing is like life, okay?
You just...

You just trust that
it'll work out,
you get lost in the moment,

and then you dance
like nobody's watching.

It's going on social media.
Literally everyone is watching.

My life is already a disaster.
I can't become a meme.

What happened to the old Riley

who was never scared to get
outside of her comfort zone?

She got knocked up, went broke,
was dragged back
to this hellhole.

Oh, it's nice to know
you miss us too.

You-You can't lose
your fearless side, okay?

It's who you are.

Listen, whatever happens,

just know the people that matter
will always have your back.

[sighs]

Well, when you say all that,
I kind of have to give it
another try.

[phone chimes]

[gasps] Oh.
I can't do the dance.

I have to leave
because Georgia's puking.

Which is obviously terrible.

I texted your mom,
so you're safe
until she gets home.

Oh, Charlotte.

So it was a lady.

My man.

You know, it's not polite to spy
on people when they're texting.

Your font's so big,
they can read it

from one of those
government drones
you're always talking about.

And just so you know,
you have my blessing.

Don't need it and don't want it.

She sent quite a few messages.

She's a friend.
That's what friends do.

They send texts
and a lot of texts.

You know, if you had
any friends, you'd know.

I'm not gonna lie.

Love how close we're getting.

[door opens]

- Hey, hey.
- [Matt] Hey.

How's Georgia?

Oh, uh, she's... she's better.

She's sleeping right now,
and just to be safe,

I put crucifixes
in all four corners of her room.

I'm gonna check on her
real quick,

and then I have to pick up
her nausea medicine.

Why don't you just stay
with her? I'll go get it.

Thank you. It's at Olsen's.

Huh?

Our Olsen's?

No, the Olsen's in New Jersey.
You have a flight in two hours.

I'll go get it.

- I'll be right back.
- Wait, hang on.

Aren't you banned from Olsen's
after the ham-weighing incident?

The butcher had his fat thumb
on the scale.

I know my honey-baked.

Full pound, my ass.

Yeah, Riley, I'm in the café

because apparently
it's gonna be 45 minutes...

45 minutes!

...until I get the prescription
because, obviously,

it takes a long time to put
12 pills from one bottle
to the next bottle!

Anyway, call me
when you get this.

Oh, it's Dad.

Hey, Matt.

Hey, Charlotte.

I, uh, recognized
your irritated tone
from across the store.

This is kind of random.

Not really.
I told you I come here.

Do I look like the kind of guy
that listens to people?

I'm just here getting medicine
for my granddaughter.

Ah, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
Whatever you say.

- [chuckles]
- Uh...

So you decided
to do a little shopping, huh?

No, I'm not shopping.

I'm just waiting for
a cup of coffee

because apparently
the medication's gonna take--

Forty-five minutes!

Yeah, I got that part.
I'm pretty sure
the whole store did.

Okay. Well, anyway,
I'm waiting for some coffee.
Do you wanna join me?

Oh. Uh, s...

Yeah. I-I'd like that.

- Oh, good.
- Yeah.

[Charlotte clears throat] Uh...

By the way, I, uh,
I already scoped the whole store
for silver foxes,

and it's pretty slim pickings.

[clears throat] But I did try
that move where you, uh,
ask somebody to bend over

and pick something up
from the lower shelf,

and, uh,
unfortunately he fell over.

I think he's still back there.

I'm never eating candy again.

Not so great
on the way back up, huh?

The worst.

Remember that
when someone offers you
something called jungle juice.

You know better
than to eat that much candy.

Just because it's easy
to trick your brother
doesn't mean you should.

Uh, she didn't trick me, Mom.

I'm actually more aware
than people think.

Your shirt is inside out.

The point is,

I let Georgia eat the candy,
and I let you down,

so send any punishments
my way. [sighs]

There's no punishment.

[phone chiming]

Oh, boy.

Grandpa left me a voicemail.

I'm gonna need
some jungle juice.

Why'd you cover for me?

Because I'm your big brother.

That's my job.

Thanks.

Sorry I puked in your room.

You didn't puke in my room.

And I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

The first Valentine's
with Diane,

I decided to take her
to one of those
high-end French restaurants.

I can't remember the name of it.

All I remember was they had a...
like, a waiter, kind of,

with a bow tie in the bathroom
handing out towels and mints.

I-I don't need a guy
as an audience in the bathroom.

All right, all right. You're
going on a tangent. Just...

Oh, yeah. I tend to do that.
That's part of my charm.

If you say so.

Anyway, when the waiter
gets to the table,

the menu items were actually
more money than the rent
I was paying at the time.

I was, like, panicking.

And so I ordered
the cheapest thing on the menu,

which was corkage fee.

But I called it "corkage fay."
Said it like that. So...

Wow. Ooh, it's like
I'm actually in Paris.

Yeah.

Well, I would have pretended
to go to the bathroom
and just left.

She didn't do that.

Right away, she just said,
"You know, I don't really
like wine that much.

I wonder if they have beer."

And I said,
"I'm not letting this one go."

I love that.

Yeah, thanks for sharing.

Yeah, my last Valentine's Day,
we went to karaoke,

and, um, I learned that
whiskey plus Johnny Cash

leads to a grown man weeping.

Oh. [scoffs] Very common.

- Very common. [chuckles]
- Yeah.

Was that a previous thing,
or did you meet somebody here?

- Oh, here. Yeah.
- Here?

We dated for almost two years.

Two years?

I can't imagine dating again,

and not just because I think
Diane would haunt me.

Look, I... I get that,

and I was the same way.

But at some point,
I did connect with someone new,

and I realized that
moving forward,

it didn't mean that
I was leaving someone behind.

Was that on a Hallmark card?

T-shirt in Mexico.

I appreciate you saying that.
I appreciate that.

[chiming]

Oh, good. Prescription
is ready for pickup.

Thank you!

Well, this has been
actually nice.

Unusual for me to meet somebody
that isn't immediately annoying.

Uh...

Look, I, um...

Happy to chat anytime.

Yeah. Hmm.

- Yeah.
- Hey. Okay.

Thanks. I just didn't, uh...

I don't want to give you
the wrong impression here.

No, no, no. Don't worry.

Look, you're great, but, uh...

something about you reminds me
of the last man I was with.

You're a good brother.

You didn't have to take the hit
for your sister.

I was just trying to do
what I thought you would do.

Have you seen
where that's gotten me?

Stop. Mom, I-I'm serious.

You're the coolest person
I know.

Well, that's funny. Because you
are the coolest person I know.

[doorbell rings]

Gabe, what are you doing here?

Well, I knew you had
a tough day, so I brought
chicken soup for Georgia,

some pizza for you,
and my favorite for me,

wagon wheel butter pasta.

Well, thank you. [chuckles]

Sorry I just ran out.

Please. You didn't run.
You skipped.

That was the closest
you got to dancing.

Fine. I was overjoyed.

But tomorrow is
the last dance video, and I
gotta go in and be a part of it.

Oh. So Old Gabe
did have an effect, huh?

It's what I call myself
when I say something wise.

Old Gabe.

As much as I appreciated
your encouragement,

it was actually Carter.

Carter's got better moves
than me?

Dance-off. Now.

He did something
I know he was scared to do,

and he said
I inspired him to do it.

I just wanna be the person
he thinks I am.

Hey, now that the dance
is back on, I got
another move for you.

I call it
the Martini-Shake Stank Face.

And it starts with the hips.

And then you go for the shake.

Shake.

Now the stank face. Mm-hmm.

- [grunts]
- Oh, no.

Yeah, that's it.
That's the stank face.

That's it. Stank face.

- Hey.
- Hey there. [sighs]

Well, I got
Georgia's prescription.

She pukes just like her mother.

- Is she okay?
- Yeah.

Sorry the pharmacy took so long.
I hope it wasn't too annoying.

Hey, uh, this morning
when I went to see your mom,

I met this interesting woman.

Tell me you didn't pick up
a date at Mom's grave.

No, no. She was just
a real nice person,

and she had lost her husband,
and she...

she kinda helped me
sort things out a little bit.

That's great.

Who knew talking to someone
could help?

Sorry, it's just such a good
told-you-so moment.

Anyway, I saw her
at the grocery store again.

Wow. And as I was driving home,
I felt really, uh, guilty.

- Why?
- Talking to a woman, you know,

I felt like I was, uh, betraying
your mom somewhat, you know?

Dad, Mom would want you
to find peace

and as close to happiness
as someone like you can muster.

Maybe meeting that lady was what
you needed to help you move on.

Mom would have said
there are no--

Coincidences.

She said that a lot, didn't she?

I'm not really ready to date
or anything like that,

but I wonder
if that might change.

And how would you feel
about that?

[sighs] I'm here,
and I'm happy to talk.

Unless it's about you
bumping uglies. Then, please,
God, never mention a word.

I don't think I'd call it ugly.

♪ I'm a devil wearing Prada
They call me Meryl Chic ♪

[Riley] Shouldn't we
get back to work?

♪ Flaming hot, Taki cheeto
Call me Chester the Cheat ♪

♪ I throw a punch ♪

♪ Like Muhammad Ali ♪

[bell clangs]

♪ I'ma hit 'em with a jab ♪

♪ Left hook, right hook
Put 'em in a bag ♪

♪ I'ma hit 'em with a jab ♪

♪ Left hook, right hook
Put 'em in a bag ♪

[bell clangs]

[song stops]

Sick.

That would be an understatement.

Damn, girl. You a meme already.

[groans]

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