Original subtitles

CHARLIE: 'In France, the word hotel

'does not actually mean a building

'In French, it literally means a

'when they pull up at our door,

'some people really do feel they're

'Of course, at Hotel Babylon, we do

'The simple truth is that the more

'the more they'll spend.

'Don't get me wrong,

'but never forget

'our eyes are always

'Our heartfelt

'and help save the environment

'save a fortune in laundry bills.'

'The complementary breakfast

'to apologise for not having

'..while earning us

'for the deliberate double booking.

'Until recently, we made a sweet

'in their room, but as people

'A man in his room

'via the hotel's wireless server

'Multiply it by 50 or 60,

'and you have a very nice little

'Nicer still when you consider the

'However our guests choose to use

'for those who work here it is first

'..and woe betide the employee

'can change hands in a pen stroke,

'and that their own position

They don't look like

Insurance companies

Are they insured against that?

You know, the level of examination

it's a wonder the building

for indecent assault.

Thank you.

He's pulling in now.

What's going on?

One moment they were in a huddle

then one of them takes a phone call

Were they now stand,

Rebecca.

Positions, everybody.

Oh, which one? I know so many.

Behind the desk, alert,

Not your favourite, then.

Tony, door.

Door. What?

What?

But there's nobody there.

Are you nervous?

It's business, Charlie.

Welcome to Hotel Babylon.

How was your flight from Barcelona?

The sky was crystal clear

from traffic control to let me

Being in control of a Learjet

and a clear blue sky is among the

Well, I'll have to take your word

This is my deputy, Charlie Edwards.

It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

I'm sure.

Shall we go through to my office?

Why don't you show me

Certainly. OK, this way.

ANNA: Good morning, sir.

Don't take this the wrong way,

It's more important than God!

That is Donovan Credo!

Credo.

I hope you don't mind my asking,

but how much longer will your people

You're not suggesting

without knowing

It's just that my staff

that your staff

You told them

Well, our usual insurance assessors

with body odour that could stun

and a limitless supply of bad

My people are almost finished.

I'm just trying to imagine

would pay to stay in a room

Well, it's a very popular suite.

Among the blind?

Once your people

and fixed a purchase price,

My lawyers nail the deal and Hotel

And its staff? I believe you already

I don't.

I wondered if you'd given

I emailed this morning?

Proposal? What proposal?

I neither need nor want

You told me the overwhelming

would survive the takeover bid.

Rebecca, you told me!

Jesus!

I'll give you each a flaming torch,

you can hunt down

That is Donovan Credo in there,

So?

So these humourless Teutonic types

all over the place

HE SIGHS

Your reluctance to speak

I wondered why they weren't

Credo has made his fortune

into his own corporate brand,

I'm not at...

the record's

but the needle appears to have

Come on, Charlie,

If she's selling the hotel,

People, this is a management matter.

Did you tie your tie a little too

We are not people.

Right, Mr Credo is here

it's as simple as that.

Now the last time I looked,

so please roll back to your post

I don't like you like this.

I'm just doing my job.

So was Eichmann.

Such dreadful tat.

Guests like it.

Whether guests like what you've

Because in the grand

Hotel Babylon is decidedly old hat.

When I've transformed this

it will no longer merely be

drink and sleep,

it will be an oasis of luxury

that will stand as the exemplar

We will reveal all other hotels

pick-pocketing operations

We will be the very best

Only those at the very

expecting the most superior surface,

most discreet

But the...

by the most beautiful

My team can make that transition

I see.

You'll permit me to shed

into the black hole

Your concierge and head barman,

"resembled two leftovers from the

while your food and beverage manager

"the air of a bus conductor

"for whom passengers

Your housekeeper runs her

like a latter-day Fagin,

while the double act you currently

as simply, quote,

Well, if that's how

then I have to take

as it means I haven't pushed them

Continue this level

and you might just

Then let me talk myself back into it

I can turn my stuff into your staff.

They project themselves in a way

attractive but approachable,

But give them the opportunity

they will perfectly

and aspirations

By definition,

I have made my concessions

Those who know me

Fini.

If Credo's people are auditing

he's looking to buy.

I tried telling a joke

It didn't dawn on you that your

What did Big Lord Fauntleroy say?

James is suggesting

No!

How many governments have there been

HE LAUGHS

F...

HE LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY

52.

Hilarious, Gino.

Donovan Credo.

At last working for someone

Oh, yes, hello, I know that this

whether you could squeeze me in

Madam, sirs, welcome

Oh, magic. Look, Mam, they've got

Er, concierge, sir.

You can't be guests!.

Had my question been,

that would have been

Mam here won us two nights

for getting a question right

What is a snowman made of?

And you answered correctly?

Initially, I thought it was a trick

"No, Myra, stick to what you know,"

SHE LAUGHS

And here we are.

And here you are, indeed.

Larger than life

If we ever end up admitting those

you have my full permission to

Those types are guests, sir.

For which you have

Wow.

It's like a really,

What's going on?

I have to sack them, Charlie.

What?

When Credo takes control of the

decor and management.

I argued the case

he said I could retain just two.

HE SIGHS

A bit previous, isn't he?

He doesn't even own the place yet.

So what are you gonna do?

Be as straight and as fair as I can

And they are?

You're the first on my list

on the condition that you tell me

You must be joking!

Since you arrived at Hotel Babylon,

I've watched you move through

in your Charlie-shaped bubble,

But now they're facing the axe

and we have to make the hardest

Sacking people.

Friends who don't deserve it.

Now, I know that I can make

You're asking me to prove

by sacking members of our team

No, what I'm asking

what is quite possibly

This is bollocks.

This is what you

if you want to work in the

At the highest level, you look down

just numbers in columns.

So what's it going to be?

Are you only ever up

or have you got what it takes

If you'd rather not write a list

then just bring me the name

THEY SHOUT

What is going on? I can hear you

Is it true hotel's being sold?

What?

Myra here says she heard downstairs

and we all going to lose our jobs.

I say don't be stupid, but

If that were true, how come I

SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE

SHE REPLIES IN OWN LANGUAGE

She says maybe you not in the loop.

I know.

I know. I'll do my best to

KNOCKING

Can I have a word?

Not now, Jackie.

What?

I said not now.

It's really important.

I said not now!

Some of the girls upstairs have been

the hotel's up for sale and

I just tried speaking to Rebecca

but she practically threw me

What's going on?

Is the hotel about to change hands?

There's interest.

Is everybody gonna lose their jobs?

Absolutely not.

'Scuse.

She's not gonna let you in.

Who is it?

Come in.

Do you have a name?

HE CLEARS THROAT

Do we really have to do this?

Yes, I'm afraid

It's called a management clear out.

More like a slaughter.

Let me see who you want to keep.

I thought so.

Then let's get on with it.

As the hotel gossip,

then generally it's not worth

I think I can take that

If it was me, I wouldn't, but let's

or questions of personal dignity

PHONE RINGING

Hello, reception?

Oh, hello, Rebecca, yes, he's just

Is there anything I can do?

Sorry, you were not

This rumour about the hotel

Oh, Ben, Rebecca wants to see you

When?

What about?

Well, I don't know,

OK, are you sure

Yes, it's better than

So, what do you want to know?

Well, what's the gossip?

ECHOING: Gossip... Gossip...

We're about to become

I mean, it should be great, right?

I've always

Prestige, the travel, the clothes.

The shoes.

All of Credo's staff get custom-made

KNOCKS

REBECCA: Come in.

Oh! Fabulous.

Why me?

Ben, let me assure you,

But I'm the first.

Right. Just like Star Trek.

Ben... Star Trek?

to get shot or eaten?

They're black.

This has absolutely

We had to start somewhere.

Oh, so says the white man sitting

You're bang out of order, son,

If you want to take the rest of

If not, then I would ask you

so as not to cause panic

just until I've informed them

I'll stay.

Thank you for behaving

Though not professional enough

I'm sorry, Ben.

So what happened?

Ben?

OK, gay men are biologically

Well, apart from the secret

which you all seem to be able

Maybe that's why you're not

because after finally bursting

For the rest of the day,

Please.

OK.

If that's what you want.

Yeah, it is.

I don't understand.

Surely I'd be perfect

I have a proven expertise in wine.

I have an encyclopaedic knowledge

I did everything in my power to

Then your power

Again, I am...

Sorry.

You're terribly, terribly sorry.

cos I will still be redundant

I felt at home here.

I like knowing where I am.

And frankly, I'm too damn long

yet another birth and start all

Oh, God.

Forgive me.

Take your time, mate.

Rebecca, please...

don't do this to me.

James, if there was anything

Don't talk as though

has been made and my name has

I'm begging you. Rebecca, please,

James, please don't.

This place is my life.

James, stand up.

I can't.

HE SOBS

So as well as winning

we got tickets to see

Right. Only Mam and Dad would prefer

see, and watch the big telly.

Oh, that's fair enough.

Big screen plasma entertainment

versus Wayne Sleep leaping around in

I know where I'd rather be.

Right, so you'd like me

Well, I was hoping to swap them.

OK. For another top London show?

For a top London prostitute.

Wouldn't you rather see Mamma Mia?

Mate, as long as she's got

OK.

Leave it with me.

OK. OH, and Chinese-y.

Chinese-y?

Yeah?

Big knockers and Chinese-y.

But you don't get that

Come on, Tony.

If they can pay, they can play,

Ni hao ma.

Jimmy. Tony.

'At Hotel Babylon when the staff

'the bookings plentiful

'our team spirit is so strong

'as a separate odour

'For then everything

'and everybody's cup

'As far as the staff are concerned,

'at such times it's all for one

'But when spirits are down,

'when uncertainty stalks

'behind the facade...'

'..well, then, it's all for one

'and every man and woman

They're gonna nail us all,

No, not us.

We are the workers.

Anna, do you honestly think looking

will predispose him towards

When in Rome.

When my great uncle

he did like the Romans, he dress

And when the mob hang Il Duce

they shot my great uncle

Did he die?

They shot him in the head, Anna.

What, you think he get up,

and pot for a cappuccino? Hey?

Ha ha, ha ha (!)

THEY LAUGH

DOOR OPENS

Jackie.

Rebecca would like to see you.

Hold my hand?

Jackie...

This reminds me of the day

This isn't like then, is it?

No.

If Donovan Credo think

all about the latest cocktails,

Does he not know that I search the

for the latest drinks and cocktails,

WW dot on the lash with gino.com.

SOBS

You're a terrific receptionist,

you'll find another position

But my hair!

It suits you.

Do you know how much it cost

to get a wig of this quality

Please don't cry.

I'm not, it's just these contacts.

SHE CRIES

DOOR OPENS

Rebecca, something's kicked off.

Oh, I see.

What a bloody mess!

Upstairs, something royal.

Oh! All I need!

You should be fighting our corner.

Hey, we're all on the same side

Charlie.

Look after her.

OK. All right.

We should have waited until the sale

before we started telling people.

The last thing I need right now,

I'm not losing my bottle, you idiot.

You are losing all perspective

SHOUTING

Jackie!

Jackie!

Jackie!

Jackie.

Jackie?

Jack?

No Jack in here, love.

ALL SHOUTING

Jackie!

Jackie?

I specifically remember asking you

When I came upstairs they knew me

well enough to see that

You should have made something up!

Rebecca, I'd never lie to my staff.

It's the only way I can ever

RINGING

What?

The kitchen's up in arms.

I don't know what started it,

to do something about it

Yeah!

Like now.

SHOUTING

Please calm down!

THEY SHOUT

Please. If you calm down,

I will tell you exactly

What do you expect?

If you don't listen,

Listen!

Enough!

Please.

Hey, listen.

NOISE STOPS

Thank you.

OK. You understandably wanna know

about the possible sale

SHOUTING

Would be nice.

THEY SHOUT

Please.

Donovan Credo, he...

he's seeking to buy the hotel

and rebrand it as one of his own.

Nevertheless, Credo's made his money

right?

But let's not lose sight of the fact

his expensive gloss, at the end

He needs people to make

to clean and change the linen,

people to do all the jobs

make it hum

So however many blondes

he puts behind the front desk,

he knows the real people,

are the people behind the scenes,

Loyalty!

Credo's people

prior to purchase,

Christ's sake,

Nothing is finalised.

The situation is finely balanced

There's more to...

Look, it's a very difficult time,

but you will be kept informed

In the meantime, let's not

and more importantly, the paying

Thank you for listening.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

They don't care about us!

OK?

Oh, that was close.

When?

After you said the situation

you started to say something else

Did I?

Yeah, you started to say

More to life then banding together

More to it than this situation than

Don't think I've forgotten what

because I haven't.

Well, you're avoiding the question.

Rebecca,

Bring Tony to my office

You've not answered my question.

Mr Credo!

Mr Credo, I just wanted to tell you

I have for your work in taking

and to tell you

Why are you dressed like that?

Myra Hindley?

What on Earth

If the situation had spiralled

it would have threatened everything

They were asked to keep

And because you asked, they will?

It's spineless management.

And not what I would have expected

It's sentimentality

No.

Not sentimentality. Loyalty.

In my book,

Well, perhaps you should get

The people who work for me

Do not ever use the word friends

in relation to employees

My people deserve to know

HE SCOFFS

You keep talking about people.

In my organisation,

In my organisation, we have me,

and the means by which what I want

With the greatest respect,

and in my opinion,

I think I get more out of my people

Rebecca, when I want your opinion,

I will run a wet finger tip around

and get it.

We're in a private meeting.

If now's not a good time...

I have Tony waiting.

Tell him I'll be two minutes.

Right.

For your information, Charlie

until the sale was finalised.

Then perhaps

for the new manager's position

Perhaps you should.

As soon as I know anything,

then you can advise all your team,

Charlie?

Um...

I know that

but I can't help wanting to know

Well, because you're funny,

you're unpredictable,

So the hair,

Well, call me perverse,

pictures of Marilyn Monroe

Less calculated, less iconic,

That's...

That's just so much better.

Thank you.

Well, like I said,

Yeah, but we both know that

I'm gonna really miss

Me, too.

Tony, earlier this morning, Donovan

when he takes over the hotel, he

Yeah, but he usually

They know the building.

As he has offered to

You accepted?

I managed to persuade him

let me keep two of my team.

So number one is Charlie.

Mm-hmm.

Number two, let me guess...

Jackie.

You.

I can keep you and Charlie.

I went to a Credo hotel once.

Cup of tea.

See what all the fuss was about.

Cup of tea was very nice, pricey,

but the longer I sat there,

Well, expensive seats

No, it wasn't just the seats.

Everywhere I turned, I caught myself

and I couldn't move

gaining under the weight

Not a pretty sight.

I had to leave my expensive tea.

Tony, this could be

Well, call me old-fashioned,

but my idea of a hotel is

If you can pay, you can stay.

Cre4do's hotels attract

Yeah, like flies to shit.

No.

Thank you for the offer, Rebecca,

Also, if, as seems to be the case,

that my colleagues

I think you should take

as effective notice

This place won't be

Tony, the wealth that will

is almost unimaginable.

I mean, think of the tips.

Now I'm actually offended.

Thank you.

You said me and Charlie.

Yeah.

Charlie said yes?

He sees it

Here's Tony now.

He's having an early supper

1974, Denis Law, played for?

Er, Man City.

Last game of the season against?

His old club.

Club that made him. The club

Law scored, sending United down.

I know. Everyone knows.

or have you just been

The point is,

he could have stepped over it,

but he didn't.

He went for personal glory,

Knowing that he'd stabbed

I've no idea.

Now, are you absolutely sure

Denis?

Say my name. Say my name.

Now.

Charlie.

Don't forget it.

Yes, of course. No, absolutely.

DOOR OPENS

Hold on. What the hell

You're going to tell me what's going

You and Credo,

I want to file

Jesus Christ, what happened to you?

That prick just hit me.

You didn't answer my question.

I called him a name.

What name?

Why did you call him Denis?

If I called you Dennis,

I didn't punch him

Are you going to tell me what I'm

Right, are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You go patch yourself up.

You, come with me.

Lucky punch. Look it was your head.

Where are we going?

To the only really private place

Surely our office is.

No, Credo's people have put

And in the staff locker room,

the bar and God alone knows

How else did he know to turn up

Right, I'm going to be quick

being called out to rescue us.

While Credo's lawyers have been

to buy this place,

has secretly risen up to stop the

How?

By trying to sell the whole business

To give our faction time

they couldn't refuse,

as much as possible

so when he told me he planned

I saw my chance.

Still lost.

BEEPING

I persuaded him to let me

and then inform those

knowing that alarm would quickly

Delay.

Had to look like an error of

cry foul and call in the regulators,

You could have told me. As I just

I stood up in front of all

I know, and I'm sorry.

Could have trusted me.

Jesus, what is all this?

Invoices, past and present contract

spreadsheets, margin forecast, tax

Four trolley loads.

You and I are working

to unearth anything to help

in record time.

If we don't, then Hotel Babylon

we all get the sack

and he makes sure we never work

One way or another,

'Some people stay at Hotel Babylon

'and regard it as a home from home.'

'But we who are at the hotel

'We never mistake it for home

'and yet the feeling of being part

'than with our own flesh and blood.'

'For a family is what we are.'

'Here, for instance,

Hello, welcome to Hotel Babylon.

'Here, the highly strung

'The reliable, worldly uncle.'

'The more exciting other uncle

'The big sister

'And there's this bloke,

'authoritarian father figure

'or the family friend

'and a daily joke for the kids...

'manager or the perennial deputy?'

Right, you know what needs to be

Extend the foyer into the forecourt.

Forecourts are so mid-'90s.

This absence is really

Not at all what I expect.

Do you know

In my book, punctuality of my staff

Well, if I was or was ever

I might bear that in mind. As

You stupid, stupid girl.

So when all's said and done,

And I was going to put you in charge

I already am.

You'd expect to see more convincing

This place is a joke.

The staff's a tawdry mob,

These people are genetically closer

than they are to any guests

Chimpanzees

I'm sorry,

There's no airs and graces

they look after one another.

So if that remark

you've hit very wide of the target.

Come on, Man, Dad, let's go.

See you next time.

Cheers for that.

It's my pleasure, sir.

You could have moved up,

Their money is

Beyond money,

At Hotel Babylon,

we never distinguish between guests

Provided they can settle their bill,

the Babylon experience

And we treat everyone like royalty.

You will be hearing from me.

Oh, God, I do hope not.

You will all be hearing from me!

Not now!

I want a management meeting

I know it's been

but now that you've heard

I hope you understand

for events to have proceeded

I know some of you will question

but...

What?

I'd like to go back to work.

I think we all would.

Yes, of course.

One last word before you go.

Thank God for the Japanese, eh?

My one last word.

I should have apologised.

Yeah.

They'll back to you.

Impossible without you.

Charlie, why don't you make yourself

have a shower and change?

OK, I'll take care of everything

HE SIGHS

Rebecca!

Rebecca!

What's going on?

You saw the email?

You want the job?

It's already taken.

As a manager, you know when

There's no colder feeling

No, after what I put them through,

They can't.

I don't have it to give.

What's that supposed to mean?

This business has taken my marriage

and most of the

I want to make the most

Don't walk away like this.

This is the perfect way.

Hotel needs you.

From where I'm standing,

Bye, Charlie.

Good luck.

REBECCA: 'What is a hotel?

'A hotel is a place to stay,

'a refuge from real life,

'but sooner or later,

'demanding our full attention.

'When that happens,

'and step aside

'And just remember,

'it's not the decor

'or the innumerable little extras

'You're paying through the nose

'No, what makes your stay memorable,

'are the people.

'Cheers.'