Original subtitles

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Good morning, BGJ.

This is Billy, yours and everyone's favorite morning radio talent.

I hope.

Well, it's another beautiful day here in the city of Bend after last night's crazy downpour.

And as always, I'm joined by my radio sidekick and our school janitor Mr. Frank.

How you doing today, Frank?

Hi.

No, I said how you doing today, Frank.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks for that, Frank.

Well, I'd like to start us off this morning with a very special song dedicated to a very special

someone who may not be feeling so special right now.

Dylan, my sweet old friend, this one goes out to you.

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My name is Dylan Green.

I'm a high school senior from Bend, Oregon.

And my life, it's been fine until yesterday.

Hey, picked up all a fingernail shit again.

What do you think of this nail color for my nail?

This is my girlfriend Katie and her annoying dog fingernails.

I don't know.

Color looks good, I guess.

Hey, listen up.

I have a meaning to talk to you.

Hey, Dylan.

Yeah.

I was just thinking, we've been together for like all of high school now.

And I just feel like it's time.

No way, I feel these exact same way.

You do?

Yeah.

Oh, that's perv.

I did not know that breaking out with you would be so easy.

[music]

If I just catch the happy end of the year and I'm going to be

guys Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, the best of all.

I'm just like that.

It's old.

Good morning, Mr. Liz.

Hi, Billy.

[music]

Hmm, what a surprise.

[music]

And Mr. Dylan.

I noticed you missed a couple.

You know you could do better than that, right?

Yeah, whatever.

Hey, Dylan. Hey, Dylan. Hey, Dylan.

Hey, Dylan. Hey, dude. Take one of these.

What? No. What is this?

I don't know. It's upper downer.

Sideways. I feel like no.

Meli you out, man.

Dude.

It's a tick attack.

Well, yeah, I was going for the placebo effect.

You know, that's when the--

I know it placebo means, okay?

You broke. You're losing your shit, all right?

And over Katie?

Yeah, you don't seem well, but you look great.

I mean, yeah, dude. I mean, all she does is just nagging you, man.

Just nag, nag, nag, nag, you know.

Dylan.

Dylan.

I just think my nails need to wake my ass.

Dylan.

God, I hate what she calls me that fuck dude.

I need to be single.

Excuse me, this is tough. Sorry, Cliff.

Could you just give us a quick moment, please?

Sure.

Oh, wait all day.

Dude. Dude. Dude.

Dude.

This is the best thing that's ever happened to you.

Fuck us, man.

Let me do it.

We finally get our best friend back.

All right, we miss you.

No, Mom. We miss you.

I know, man. All right.

I miss you guys, too.

I like the best fucking idea.

Tonight, you meet Maxi, Maxi's treehouse.

Just like the old time before Katie.

You know, maybe we'll watch him good weed.

Smokes him good porn. I don't know.

Where is Maxi anyways?

See you around.

Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. What's up, guys?

Hey, I'm Maxi. Guess what?

Dylan's in front of the night. Right? You. Me.

Dylan. Tonight?

Treehouse. It's amazing.

Come here. Awesome.

Woo! Okay. It's so good.

No busy.

You're good.

He's not good. Okay.

You're depressed.

Take routine is doing to our best friend.

All right, man.

He's getting his head full.

We need to protect him.

You're being selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish. Don't call me selfish.

All right.

But wasn't for you.

Our body wouldn't be getting his head flush down the toilet right now.

Cause you're so obsessed with amber and drues.

All right.

And go over and talk to her.

But she doesn't mean biology class.

I know the time.

That's because she's your lab partner and she needs your brain, man.

No, actually she's very smart and she's very nice and she lets me stare.

Congratulations on your scholarship in the state.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gonna be a steak fever.

I'm sorry around myself with beivers.

I applied to you and just waiting to hear back.

Yeah? That's great.

[bell ringing]

Can bring your beaver.

I'll remember that.

Don, sorry to hear from my sister and you.

You turn to your now. You do a lot better.

Thanks.

I think that's better.

Oh, god. There it is.

Are you done yet?

Hold on. Hold on.

Okay.

You have to say for one no already.

Yeah, man. I mean, fuck social media.

Okay, Dylan.

I don't know what you're doing after school, but if you're open to it,

I'm holding in a little study group.

Maybe we can work on beefing up your test scores.

Uh, I haven't a in your class, Mr. Cliff.

I know you do.

Do you change your mind?

I'll be around the corner.

That's my friend.

Hey, your friend gets Steve.

[bell ringing]

Such an interesting relationship, dude.

You look young.

[laughing]

Do we have like a hottest teachers in school?

Then she's definitely a change in their mental.

Because she definitely a teacher. I'd like to do this.

Dylan.

Billy.

You're the best high school ever.

[screaming]

Hey, check this out. It's cute little froggy team.

Steve, you can throw it. Go to the tank.

Yeah, that's a little good one.

A little tank to the frog.

I cannot wait to get out of here.

I'm going to break from biology.

Is that a frog?

We have to dissect the cat.

You want trade?

I'd love to dissect some poor science.

This is so gross.

Hi, I'm.

Where do you go, Lauren?

Oh, hey, it's biology, Billy.

You?

Are you going to have a soon, too?

Have a soon.

It's like have a soon.

What's like have a soon?

It's the coolest place for spring people.

What are you going to do for spring break, Billy?

Oh, you know.

Many drugs.

And lots of alcohol.

Stuff.

I love drugs at all.

[laughing]

Don't lean, J.K.

You should come to have a soup, Billy.

Me?

Yes, biology, Billy.

Please come.

Please come.

Michelle, could you please say that for me one more time?

Please come, Billy.

Oh, yeah.

[laughing]

I'm going to go to like have a soup.

It's supposed to be epic.

So everybody says, you check it out.

Text me if you want to come.

[music playing]

Hey, well, how could you find me, Billy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's true.

I'm sick and tired of our spring break,

I like being us going to see a movie getting popcorn and milk yet.

Hey, guys.

Sorry, I'm late.

Car wasn't the...

You speak to these.

Hey, Maxie. Nice.

Nice feet.

My car's gonna be a shop for an extra week, so...

I had a walk.

Hello, Puff.

You sweet mouth magic pussy having a little bitch.

Better than my girlfriend, I'll tell you that much.

[laughing]

Yeah, she looks like Miss Cliff, you're having a nice set.

Billy wants to do something fun for spring break.

Fun.

Do fuck fun.

I'm thinking epic.

We need like a spring break.

Yeah.

Like a brocation.

Yes.

A spring brokeation.

Really?

Really?

You've always had fun.

Are you can count me out?

I'll do whatever.

Guys, come check the shit out.

You fools have a hurdle like have a super fork.

You have my attention.

Do this?

This is it.

This is what we need.

Gentlemen.

I'm your DJ, guys.

And if they're all the night.

This spring break, we are going to Lake Hava Su.

This, my friend Maxie, is better.

Then, tits amazing.

These are amazing tits.

Right in our faces, ready and willing to be motorboded.

Dylan, get your depressing over here and check this shit out.

I'm sure it looks great, Billy.

Alright, put on just not in the mood right now.

Not in the mood.

Not in the mood to see beautiful bouncing breasts.

College honey is running around half naked.

Do what is wrong with you.

Ow.

Look at Maxie.

Just look at him.

This may be his only opportunity to see an uncovered breast in his life.

I'm going to go all the way with those things too.

What we all know that's not true.

Well, why don't we just go to Cancun?

Oh, fuck.

Well, we're at it.

Let's go to Florida.

We can go to Wyoming.

My DJ and grandpa people live there.

They make the best and minerals.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

Does your G.G. have implantations?

I didn't think so.

And you need to get over Katie.

All right.

She sucks.

I'm sorry.

According to you.

She doesn't suck.

She just looks at the tip a little bit.

And only when she's drunk.

Do he.

I'm looking.

Stop.

Please.

I'll do anything.

Chocolate.

She does have a super rat.

Don't talk.

Okay.

Look at this face.

I do not take this amazing opportunity away from him.

Just look at this face.

It must be tainted.

Tainted.

Here.

You need this more than we do.

Okay.

It's my special weed that you love so much.

Her indeed to give you the best night sleep you ever had.

Just remember to wash it down with a little bit of Jack.

You know this is the best idea that you've had all night.

Just look at this.

I'm looking.

Just look at this.

Just look at this.

Just look at this.

Just look at this.

Just look at this.

Well, let's go steal an RV.

An RV.

[Music]

[Music]

He calls it the highway.

The highway.

Wow.

Who calls it that?

Mr. Ralph Ipeaterson.

And never let me see the inside.

Lucky for us.

I found where he hides his keys.

That is pretty super.

It is pretty super maxi.

How does he afford all this though?

Good question.

When I should know the answer to you because I do his taxes.

Sorry Ralph, you boy.

You deserve this.

To zero.

Well, we're not taking his.

You bet your sweet little nipples we are.

He never uses it.

So we will.

We can't do that to him.

Dude, just relax.

Trust me.

He totally deserves this.

He made me his bitch.

And now we make the highway.

Arse.

Here.

You're driving.

What do you mean?

What do you mean what do I mean?

You're taking a tight view of you being a pussy and not getting a trapper's license.

But...

Shh.

Shh.

Don't talk.

Okay.

Trapper said, "One or one begins the right?

Me, yeah."

Okay.

I can do this.

Yes.

You can.

And you will.

Let the games begin Max Marx.

Wait.

We're still.

Yeah.

Eat it.

Eat it.

Dental.

(birds chirping)

Smile on my head.

Still a new dillon?

They seem to finally join us.

- What the fuck?

What, ah, why does it feel like we're moving?

- Is he, Dillon?

We live in the here, in the now and right now,

is it the now.

And you're living it right now.

So, I'll tell you a foot.

Let's not give a foot.

- You live it up right now, okay?

- Okay.

- You can't I do, Maxie?

- Okay.

You still like that doctor, Phil, okay.

- You gotta do 'em.

- Okay.

Why are we dressed like a Metro sexual bike or gang?

- Well, we had a little covered operation last night.

You mean Maxie?

I didn't want us to get pinched by the Peterson.

- Mr. Peterson, like auto-shop, Mr. Peterson,

you took his RV, it's his recreational vehicle.

Did you stole the highway?

- Well, I wonder if we pissed off the Peterson.

(dramatic music)

- What the?

- Fuck, hey you, shh, it's a-

(laughing)

- So, I think?

- Where are we going anyway, so Janky?

- Dude, we're on our way to Lake Habasu,

for our vocation, remember?

- A vocation celebration.

- Yeah, I remember, I remember saying

I didn't wanna be part of the vocation.

- Put it to celebration.

- Whatever, all right, just pull over

I need to take a piss.

- All good brothers and bathroom on this thing.

- I'll pass.

- All right, suit yourself.

- Maxie!

Bit stir.

(upbeat music)

- So, yeah, this is where a lot of venesis thing is.

(dramatic music)

- For that?

- Hey man, you talking shit in there?

What?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel you on that one asshole.

It's good shit.

(dramatic music)

- God, enough with the shit talk, man.

We get it, all right?

- Billy, shake your dick and let's go.

(dramatic music)

Hey, that was a shitty thing for you to say.

- What's taking so long?

You've been standing here forever.

- What is they no fun?

- Well, it's just go, man.

We're already dressed like that.

- Can't be a blur anyway, but my just, oh, cool.

(laughing)

- It's good stuff.

Hey, this is my friend Billy, and he thinks you're cute.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do.

I do.

Where you been hiding?

- Around the corner.

Talkin' shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

- Have you seen the back of the RV?

- It's insane.

There's a penny back there of a hot blonde

with perfect pectorals unbelievable.

And I found this.

(laughing)

- Is it?

It's just wrong, man.

Dude, come on, it's like, it's Mrs. Pearson.

He's the hottest peat teacher ever.

- I never seen one in real life before.

How about a few or Max Max?

Go for it.

Dude, I bet she uses this on his toe.

I bet you're the use of it on each other.

Oh, my God, you can't lose, give me that back.

(sighs)

- Oh, Mrs. Peterson, you taste so good.

(upbeat music)

- Are you ready for me?

(laughing)

(shrieking)

(upbeat music)

- All right, we get it.

You like licking floppy pink Dildos.

Just drop it already, please.

- All right, fine, I'll drop it if you drop it.

- Drop what? What am I dropping?

- You're bad attitude.

- I don't have a bad attitude.

You're just being annoying.

- We need a fully commit.

Right here, right now.

All right?

Dylan, are you in or are you in?

- Come on, Dylan.

- Be it.

- Be in deep.

- Come in.

- Okay.

- Okay, okay, I'm in.

All right, I'm in.

- Fuck yeah.

- Let's do this right, hands in boys.

Bring brocation on three.

One, two, three.

- Spring, okay, good.

- All right, we'll work on it.

(upbeat music)

Hey, check out this bowl we can.

- That's cool, right?

The backyard boat?

- Awesome sauce.

- Suit, this is amazing.

I mean, we get through our own parties.

Cruze the lake.

- Maxi, let me get that credit card real quick.

Trust me, I'm the Dylan.

- Okay, I trust in the Dylan.

Good boy, it's just your trusting in, lad.

- All right boys, the backyard boat is officially ours.

(upbeat music)

♪ I'm here tonight ♪

♪ I'm going to the right hand for so long ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

(upbeat music)

, guys, guess what?

♪ I saw a sign for a strip joint diner ♪

♪ I'm thinking we should get our each on the style ♪

♪ I'm going to the right hand for so long ♪

- Hey guys, guess what?

- I saw a sign for a strip joint diner.

I think we should get our each on the style.

- Get our each on in some style?

Dude, you wonder why your penis is still a virgin, Jesus.

- All right, I'm down to the dime some naked nip.

Don't you down to dime some naked nips?

- Oh no, you missed the naked nips of the cady on your nip.

- It's a strip club diner in the middle of nowhere.

It's probably a bad idea, right?

- Maxi!

- Stripler!

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- Hey guys, do you think we should have stopped here?

Looks kind of shady.

It was your idea to stop here.

I know, but you give me boobies.

Of course, there are gonna be boobies in there.

It's a strip club, man.

Look, the RV's parked where outside

let's just eat.

I'm hungry.

All right, you know what?

Stop, all right guys.

Gentlemen, it's time like these, we ask ourselves,

are we due to give a fuck or are we men?

I for one am a man and a chosen the path to.

(dramatic music)

- Where have tits?

- Bottomless diner and strip joint.

- Joy.

- Fuck it.

- She's hoping to see us, all right?

- Whoa!

- Yes!

(dramatic music)

- What's that noise?

- Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

(dramatic music)

- What's that noise?

I'm done.

- Done.

- Done with an S.

- Done.

- Hey, I'm Billy's.

- That's tight.

- Where are you just snorted and cocaine in front of us?

- Not now, man, I don't mess with the cocaine.

I wrapped the blue powder.

- What's the blue powder?

- It makes the blood rush right to your chest

and wear a blouse.

It makes your dick hard than Chinese checkers.

You guys wanna dry some?

It's awesome.

(dramatic music)

- Hey, it was lame boy.

Sick dick bro.

Tonight's free midnight.

Congrats.

- Local, do you look like a local human loveless?

- Actually, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We are.

We are super, super local.

- Well, my penis a pissant.

Come inside.

That's what she said.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Oh, he's a dick that kid.

- Dick?

- Dick boy.

- You know what I'm talking about?

And I'm not talking about a silly whistle.

- I'm just a stupid boy.

- But you and I just write place.

And uh, bring all the men with you men.

- Hey!

- No, Submer!

This is a bottle of shrimp joint.

We don't charge it here.

You're still breastfeeding for Christ's sake.

- Hey guys, welcome to Beware of Tits.

We're not only the food and drinks are bottomless,

so I could go up.

So are you guys eating out?

- I want to eat.

- Oh, yeah.

- What?

What do you recommend?

- I mean, I sure do love eating out.

But come on, guys.

So you're telling me that they're no Tata.

- So, the best part of the female anatomy is not being shown tonight.

- Sorry, Charlie.

- Billy.

- Have a seat.

- Here you go.

Hope you guys like a box.

- Yeah, yeah.

- It's fine, Maxie.

Beware of Tits.

- I know.

- I can, I get you some drinks started,

like everything around here.

They are bottomless,

well unlike myself at this particular moment.

- Yeah, can we get two blow jobs

and a glass of milk for this guy?

Thank you.

Just the drinks for now.

Thank you.

- Thanks.

- I gotta go rock a pole.

- Why are we friends with him?

He's nice.

- I think boys are probably like to try

some of our famous bottomless women in France.

- Yeah, sure, that'd be great.

What would you just say?

She said she thinks I'm cute and horny.

- She said she's your horny?

- I am horny.

What do I do?

- Oh, I don't know.

I've been out of the game for a while.

I want you to go ask lover boy there.

What is he doing?

- Hey, okay.

Take it now.

I call the window, how is he doing?

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- You got it, huh?

- You got it.

- Hey, stay with me.

- He's the worst.

- That's him.

I just saw some Tits.

Take your Tits.

- Come on, let's just be the only thing I got.

I have a plot out of my hands.

- You smack it nothing happens.

- Oh, blame your mother.

- It's not her fault, don't.

- All right, a novel.

- Stop talking about my mom.

The man wants to touch us, don't.

Come on.

- You want to see your Tits?

- Can we work something out?

- You want to show him your Tits?

- I want to show my Tits, don't.

- It's one time.

One time I can make an agreement.

- Okay, thank you.

- So we shake on it?

- We should shake.

- Make it a gentleman's hands.

- Yeah, okay.

Wait, what?

- Tick, tick.

- Tick, tick, tick.

- Did you shake?

- Never turned one down.

I've never had one before.

(singing in foreign language)

- Is that your saffron?

- Oh, okay.

Here's your food.

I was thinking maybe you and I could go

maintain eye contact or a little while.

Yeah, come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

- See you, buddy.

What?

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- So good.

- Yeah.

- Oh my god.

- I got a number of hugs, number of, right?

(laughs)

- Where's your RV?

- Derby?

The recreational vehicle man.

- Max!

(screaming)

- Excuse me, sir.

Jesus Christ!

- I got a legus!

- He's gotta go, he's gotta go.

- He's just like...

- Hey man, come on, can you cut some slack man, give me a break?

- So look like I got a kick crap around me, boy.

- He's getting out of the car.

He's getting out of the thing.

- You know, it's even worse.

- So I'm not fall at you, let your RV run itself

in the middle of my cornfields.

Where's the corn?

- It's growing.

Yeah, rookie mistake, mission voice.

- All right, you're right.

It was our mistake, it was our bad,

but everyone makes mistakes, right?

Have you ever made a mistake?

- Nope.

- Never.

(dramatic music)

- Come on, just look at him.

Look at his face.

You can paint it.

- You want me to paint your face, boy?

- Maybe not.

- All right, look, I mean,

clearly you've made a mistake before.

- No, I've never made a mistake.

- Never, you wanted to look like this.

- Sexiest shit.

- You mission boy is hard to hear from something?

- Mission boy is why he keeps calling his mission boy.

- Well, you are on a mission, aren't you?

- We just walked out of a strip club

and we're driving an RV not riding bicycles.

- Drink alcohol too.

- Yeah?

- Drink coffee.

- Of course.

- Tea?

- Yeah.

- You fuckers do blow.

- No, what does that have to do with anything?

- Well, I'm higher than shit.

- That's cool man.

- All right, how much turkey you boys go on here?

- Turkey.

- Yeah, turkey.

You want me to spell it out for you?

Tea?

E or fucking Q, who gives this shit I put

to you for breakfast?

- Oh, fuck, you want the cash.

- No shit.

- I don't have a cash on me, I only brought my car.

- I don't have a cash.

- You boys should have thought of that, not shit.

(bells chiming)

- Look, Mr. Jonathan, Sire.

- Jonathan, you fuckers.

- Okay, Sire, Jonathan, look, as you can see,

if it's all we have, man, is that okay?

- You call this turkey?

I call this here toilet paper.

(man speaking in foreign language)

- I can make it rain.

- Okay, well, Sire, Jonathan, please, okay, man.

My entire future with Amber Andrews depends on this trip,

will you please?

Let us go, I will do anything.

- Anything?

- Anything.

(upbeat music)

- Well, extra board scores.

- Welcome.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- Well, that was fun.

- You know, you seem to have failed to mention

that Amber Andrews, Katie Andrews twin sister

was gonna be on this trip.

- I mean, please, no.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean,

I thought that you organized this whole shin

to for a little brookation time with your best friends,

but now it looks like someone's a little

who was before a brook on this trip.

- Dude, I just, I could really use this sport, okay?

You need confidence.

All right, confidence, just go up to her,

present yourself, tell her how you feel,

it's not that hard.

No, you know what, it is hard.

You're giving me a raging boner right now,

dude, you're really good at this.

I need to grow some balls, you're absolutely right.

- That's true, and I'm glad that I could give you

a little emotional support on this RV ride.

- But, all this food and the weed is making me

a little tie ties, so I think doing

is gonna go a little bad.

- Why don't you talk?

- You guys always tell me not, dude.

- You do that?

- Well, what is it, man?

You can talk?

- I don't know.

I guess there's just fuel.

It's time.

It's time?

- Yeah, to lose it.

You know, my virginity.

- I just wanted over with, and so is my daddy.

- Daddy, seriously?

- Yeah, he's always buying me condoms

and for my birthday last year.

He even paid for a hooker to come over and touch me.

(suspenseful music)

- I always knew I liked your daddy.

- I was super nervous, so I just hit in the closet.

- Bro, it is time to come out of the closet.

I mean, what's wrong?

- I feel like it's all the pressure from him, maybe.

Apparently he's quite the stud in the bedroom

and he's partaking three sums and orgies and forges.

- What's a forge?

- I don't know.

- Whoa.

- It's scared.

- It's scared?

- It's scared of what?

- Like, what if I don't last long?

- What if she laughs at it?

- I don't think my dick in handle that kind of rejection.

- Dude, don't even worry about it.

I mean, premature ejaculation is totally normal

and hot chicks are just used to it anyways.

I'll get it.

- But dude, you need to get over this whistling sound

you make with your mouth.

I mean, what is that?

It's like when the subject of sex with a female

comes up, I feel like someone's brewing a pot of tea.

You know what you need to do?

You need to reinvent yourself.

It's time for a makeover, extreme makeover, maxi addition.

You are no longer maxi.

The scared little whistling virgin,

forever doomed to a life of swirlies and toilets.

You are now...

Max was.

Max was calling his clitoris.

Max.

- Son to an orgy master?

- Max, Max.

- Recent member of Tits Amazing.

- Max, Max.

- And recipient of a cocktail napkin

with a phone number on it from a cocktail waitress

who works at the wear of tit bottomless diner in strip joint.

- Max, Max.

- If you shall, lose it.

- I shall.

- In this life all the next.

- Preferably this life.

- Max, Max.

- I like that.

- I am Maximus Collegius Cretoris.

- Max, Max, Max.

- Maximus.

- Sweet dreams there, Maxine.

- No.

- I had a nightmare.

- Billy, what's it coming to lings us?

- I think I had a nightmare about it last night.

- Is this some sort of monster?

- Monster, yeah.

- You're just going to have to find out for yourself there, kiddo.

- Are we there yet, man?

We've been driving forever, this place is hotter than a prostitute's asshole, right?

Where is this place?

- Calm your tits, Betty White.

- I got no idea.

- Go back to your s.

- Here we go.

- It's Friday night.

- What's going on tonight?

- I still don't know.

- You're my mother.

- I'm here.

- I'm here.

- You're my fuck you.

- I'm here.

- You're my fuck you.

- Yeah.

- Oh my god.

- God.

- Yeah.

- I'm here.

- I'm here.

- Who is there? Why is he hot in the air?

- Good.

- You.

- I see that falling in my catomax, so you're chill.

- No one might be wrong.

- It's what I'm at.

- I don't see that.

- I'm rolling in my catomax.

- I'm rolling in my catomax.

- I'm rolling in my catomax.

- I'm rolling in my catomax.

- I'm rolling in my catomax.

- I'm rolling in my catomax.

- Oh my god.

- Hey guys.

- Welcome to the nautical.

I'm Jordan.

Are you checking in with Swat today?

- I got this.

- Hi.

We are checking in as shaperones.

- Shaperones.

- Okay.

I was just about to step out from my lunch break,

but don't worry.

I'll go find somebody who can take care of you guys.

- Oh, what?

- Don't worry about my friend, Maxie here.

He almost got laid last night, but couldn't quite close.

- Don't worry about it.

Maybe your luck will change your hair and have it too.

- So cute.

- All right, we'll get luck boys.

- I thought that would hurt.

- He thought that would work.

- Yeah.

- Hi there, friend.

We are checking in as shaperones.

- It's pronounced spring.

- Spring.

- Spring.

- Okay.

- Thanks, Bruce.

- Okay.

- This is Dylan.

- I'm Billy, that's Maxie.

- Maxie.

- Maxie, I take care of your age.

- I take care of your age.

- Would you like to see some identification there, friend?

- It's okay.

- You look like your third.

- He's actually 35.

- I can see that.

- You understand the responsibility of this one.

- It's responsibility of this one.

- What's his shaperone?

- Oh, don't worry about this guy.

He doesn't even know what kind of linguses.

- What's his kind of linguses?

- It's his carry monster.

- It's a unibreau.

- Basically our responsibilities are to make sure that kids under the age are not drunk in public

or fighting.

- Fighting.

- You know what fighting is?

- Yeah, I know what fighting is.

- You know what to say, I think it's a submission to grab any of our security guards and you.

- You're reported.

- So we're basically narts.

- Yes.

Perfect.

- All right.

- You guys ready to make some new friends?

- Friends.

- Hmm.

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

- Hello?

- Anyone here?

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

- We're here about to back yard boat.

[music playing]

- Well, the back yard boat, why didn't you just say so?

- I just did.

We rented it through your website.

- And got in the website.

- Yes, you do.

[music playing]

- No, I don't.

- I think that you do.

- Fuck you.

- I'm kind of.

- Isn't this you?

- Uncool.

- Uncool, wrong thing to have a soup.

- A voting adventure paradise lake.

- A cabasu lake.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, it's me.

- So then you do have a website.

- No shit.

- What?

- Fuck.

- Grandma's stuff.

[music playing]

- Feels good in there.

- What is he doing?

- All right, now's the right here, boy.

- You want me to hold it out like this for you?

- You want us to sign your arm?

- I'm not holding out here for you.

- Quire boys to stare at?

- Yeah, also.

Just be careful.

[music playing]

- Life is.

- Or maybe it's some beer.

- Wait, you're not coming with us, are you?

- It was up to me.

We'd all be coming together by the end of the night.

- Well, it's just...

- Don't you well, me, boy.

I really want to tap dance around with a bunch of fucking sissy Saudis anyway.

[knocking]

- Well, but this nap just leads us right back here.

- I don't see any live fest or beer.

- I'll be a little arm, so I'll do that.

- Keep it on hands.

- So sexy.

- Cool.

- Thank you.

- We'll see you later.

- Hey!

- You boys come back here.

- Who are those cute boys in one of the day, won't you?

- Fuck you.

[knocking]

- Could be a vice on the beer.

- It's a...

- Here she is.

- Back here at Beauty.

- And all her glory.

[music playing]

- Okay guys, let's take everyone really like this.

- They're like us all right.

Just chill with some of our backyard beauty. Great fine, darling.

- Good fine, darling. Thank you. - Boys.

- She's this crisis stripper pole on this boat.

- Really want you to shake your ass on that thing. See what happened.

[music playing]

- What you doing? Good, I get my bonar's going off.

[music playing]

- Fuck you doing, dude. I can't control it. It's my bonar.

[music playing]

[music playing]

- I'm going to go.

- Go for this.

- This is the top. - Go for this.

- No. No. No. No.

- I need to get off this boat.

[music playing]

- Man, what a plethora of pretty pink pillows around.

- Jeez. - Thank you for bringing me out here boys.

- I appreciate it. This is our week.

- All right, this is our week to get after. Are you ready?

- Son of a bitch, really? What? The ember?

- No, what the fuck is she doing here, man?

- Oh, that's it. - So nice.

- Nope.

- Yeah.

- Man, shit for seriously, what is she doing here?

- Fuck it, I'll be right back.

[music playing]

- Katie.

- What the fuck are you doing? Is this how you broke up with me?

So you could be a slutty over some green grapes?

- No, silly. I love everything that you did for us.

- It's just what? What, you don't care about me at all, you better hang out with me.

- She's fucked up, yeah?

- What the fuck?

- I'm a douchea.

- Lucky days, green rickdy day, ducky day, tanner!

- Tuck up, I'm Banner!

- What the fuck are you doing? Stop.

- Is she our son, lady?

- She's getting nice and rough on it.

[music playing]

- Thanks for sharing.

- What the fuck are you talking about?

- Sharing is caring, dawg.

- It's not calling me dawg. This isn't 1999.

- All right, just go back to your fucking DJ booth.

This is my girlfriend.

- No, silly. We broke up. Remember?

This is the guy I was telling you about.

I met him on Tinder. He is going to be like this next.

- This is correct.

- Sorry, it's still your hug, girl.

- I'm gonna kick your ass off my boat, dawg.

- Unfortunately, this is my boat.

And she doesn't seem to love you here anymore.

So why don't you make the trees and get at it?

- Get away from me, man.

- Wow.

- Well, for the peers, you're out of time.

And we have a full house.

So you better get your ass off this boat before I...

- Before you want, for you flesh your t-shirt titties in my face again.

[laughter]

- It's not funny.

- No, I won't, but they will.

- Danny, Joey, Uncle Jesse.

- Get him.

- Get off me, man. Stop. Stop.

- What are you doing?

- Hey!

- Whoa!

- Oh, it's too bad, dawg.

I like you. You have a cute face.

- Fuck you, man.

- Dell, I need you to come all this way.

- It's trying to get me back.

- I did it.

[screaming]

- It's hard to tell me.

- What?

- It's hard to tell me.

- That guy's like a real DJ.

And I got a sticker.

- Okay.

- I look, guys.

I just need a second to myself.

All right, go have fun.

I'll catch up with you guys later.

- Come on, man.

We're in the together, bro.

It's a broken shun, remember?

- I feel like catch up with you later.

- Go, leave, bro.

- Dude.

- Bro.

- Dude.

- Bro.

- Dude.

- Dude.

- Let him go.

- Let him go.

- That cannot be good for her health.

- Dude.

Now, they're ready to stand on top for us.

Excuse me for a second.

I have some balls to attend to.

Hey!

What's the value, guys?

I'm always happy to come to that.

You look so familiar to you.

Hey Michelle.

Hey, you guys should totally check out the killer boat we ran into this week.

It's awesome.

Really?

No, it actually sucks.

What color is this?

Well, what's your favorite color there Michelle?

Leopard.

Yeah, we got a leopard boat.

What do we do?

Sorry, sorry.

Hi.

Why? Hello?

Can I try a sample of your sample?

Good choice, kid.

Sample to have an apple.

Coming in hot.

Okay.

Oh, wow. That's a super sample.

Super sample, a sample, an apple.

Can I get that in a captain's code, please?

So, what you're asking for is some sample, an apple in which not to sample.

I'm not sure if we have any more of that flavor.

I'm going to have to check in with the captain.

Boss!

Hey, boss!

This is very nice.

Still looking mad right here.

I would like to know if we have any apple in which not to sample it.

Seems like it's your lucky day.

The captain just said we do.

Would you like one scoop or two?

Here's one.

And here's two.

I'll do a little some special for you.

I'm going to put a little icing on the cake.

That's going to taste a lot better if you eat it to through your nose.

Do my nose?

Hey, nice shirt!

Oh, you're ready to go.

Oh, you're ready to go.

You're ready to go.

You're ready to go.

You're ready to go.

That's not a big deal.

Awesome.

I recognize you.

You're done.

The owner beware of tits.

Don't.

With it ass.

Don't.

How are you doing, kid?

Taxi.

Mindy.

Taxi.

Taxi.

Taxi.

Taxi.

Taxi.

Taxi.

I'm so scared.

What are you doing here?

I don't remember what I'm doing here.

Are you a strip dancer for them as well?

No way.

I get a point when I dance.

So I leave that to the professionals who have self-control.

Is this amazing?

It makes me so excited.

I'm like not just in my face.

Ice cream boy.

You want to have the leg with us?

Real?

Yeah, buddy.

If you go.

I got so scared.

Your technique is a little weak.

I don't know there's a technique for skipping rocks.

Oh, yeah.

Here.

Which I...

The trick is to get down low.

Plus to the water.

And with the right flat rock.

And a good release.

That's it?

It's not bad.

It's not bad.

It's not bad.

It's not bad.

I'm doing.

Hi, Sarah.

Nice to meet you.

You're a Sarah.

You're going to get a room.

Can we get the ball back?

Let's make drop-out.

Shouldn't you be partying with all the crazy people?

Yeah.

Well, my two friends brought me out here.

To get me away from my girlfriend or ex girlfriend.

And it turns out that she's already here.

On some boat with a bunch of drunk idiots,

Marigni.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm just stuck in this stupid place.

I don't know if you want to do it.

Hey, this stupid place I call home.

Thanks.

We start over.

Okay.

I'm Dylan.

Springbreaker from Bend, Oregon.

And apparently I can't skip rocks.

Hello, Dylan.

From Bend, Oregon.

I'm Sarah.

I have a Sue local and a freshman.

You're freshman.

In college.

College.

Nice.

What are you doing tonight?

Tonight I'm probably going back to my hotel room to hide from my ex girlfriend for the rest of the week.

Hey, well.

My friends and I are having a get together tonight.

You're welcome to stop by.

You can master a smile.

Okay, sure.

Yeah, why not?

Here.

Give me a number.

I'll take you.

I'll take you.

Coffee and a girl asking for my number.

I like that.

So I'll see you tonight, baby.

Yeah.

Definitely.

See ya.

, I'm gonna say I'm not sure.

You the moon, me, me.

You the moon, me.

You the moon, me.

You the moon, me.

I'm gonna say I'm not sure.

I'm gonna say I'm not sure.

My phone.

Sorry.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

You.

You check.

Yeah, you do on gorgeous.

What's your name?

I'm cash, but everybody calls me.

The cash tag.

I'm Amber.

Oh, beautiful name, Amber.

Oh, look at this.

Mind standing up for me.

Can we go?

The cash tag's ready.

Really?

Three wheelies style.

Come on. Let's jump that rock.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Don't worry.

I got a hashtag for you small person.

This is small person.

Oh, that's small people.

Make me feel like I'm racing.

I'm just kidding.

(laughing)

How's John?

- Cue fuck me out 'cause the cashskits

with the cashskit once.

(laughing)

- Of course you can, don't be shy,

you wanna still be a bomb.

- Right, you can go be a bomb where you go.

That's good idea, and I'd totally believe them

'cause it's not a baby, right?

- Look at the man.

- Look what's up.

- Look, hold the boy, look, hold it!

- Oh!

- Oh my God!

- Horanly is I got this cover.

Don't worry, don't worry.

(laughing)

- You've passed time.

- Say hi to you, shine up for me.

- It's okay, he's all right, he's all right.

I think he's just a little embarrassed

'cause he made your work.

- No, he's just a little space.

- Let's get outta here, I know another party.

- I guess we'll be right.

- Yeah, we'll be right.

- We'll be right there.

- It's all right, small person, we're gonna be okay.

- Do you know what I mean?

(upbeat music)

. - Come on! - Come on! (laughing)

- I got this.

- So, where does a maxi come from?

- My mom's vagina. (laughing)

- Bend.

- You want me to bend?

- No, that's where I'm from, Bend, Oregon.

- Oh, oh, that's cool.

I feel a lot of people live in Bend.

Actually, I believe the population of Bend

is 81,236, give or take a few.

- Wow, I didn't even know that.

- So, what kind of kinky stuff does one get into in Bend?

Like, what do I do for sex?

(laughing)

I don't know, I'm kind of a nerd.

This is probably the closest I've ever come.

- I like nerd.

- I like space.

- No, no, I'm kidding.

Sorry, what I meant was like,

I'm kind of obsessed with like outer space.

- Oh, okay.

Did you know a neutron star spins at the rate

of 600 rotations per second,

and that all of space has no sound?

Do you want to go over a swim?

I'll put on your little shorts,

and you can put on my overalls.

Come on.

- Hey, ice cream boy.

- Yeah?

- Come here for a second.

- Come here.

- Yeah, still there.

- Look, Bendie, she likes you.

- I can tell.

- Yeah, and I like that.

I like that.

It's awesome.

I think I like her too.

- Muntiller.

Girls like to go with confidence.

I gotta take charge.

Like diamonds.

- Never really had confidence with girls.

- Watch this.

- Jesse, Caden, come over here

and give Don some sugar.

Little hustle.

(growling)

- Mm, yeah.

- Mm, yeah.

(laughing)

- Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't taste you.

(growling)

- I'm feeling okay.

- Okay.

- Cheers, Caden.

(growling)

- Now make your day card.

- It did.

- All right ladies.

- I wanna talk to you about next year's second.

- Hey, all right.

You had a choose between eating, um, hot dog,

or taco.

What would you choose?

- I love hot dogs.

- Long answer.

- Hot dogs, only good and ball parks.

You wanna eat tacos.

- Taco, tacos, taco, tacos.

- That's what my daddy keeps telling me.

Now on, don't say your daddy.

You need to think, don't think.

What would Don't do?

- Where's the pussy?

Where's the pussy?

- I don't know.

I don't know, I don't see it anywhere.

Wait a second.

Do you know what a pussy looks like?

- I've seen pictures.

- Right.

- Intimidating to look at, but fun when you're in there.

Like a water park.

Like one of our, sure.

- Here, but it sounds like this.

Tighten down, open it up.

I'm not supposed to.

Do it again.

I'm not supposed to.

Okay.

(groans)

(laughs)

You got, you got, okay.

All right, like this.

Come on.

(groans)

- Pound.

- Pound?

- Free school, Pound.

- Powerful head thrust.

- Pound.

- Pound?

- Pound.

- Pound.

- Pound.

- Here, let me show it.

- Here, show it.

- Okay.

- Come with me now.

(groans)

- Pound.

- Pound.

- Pound.

- Pound.

- Pound.

- Pound.

- All right, you maximist.

- No, no, you're not maximist.

- You're not maximist.

- Yeah, that's awesome.

- Tid awesome.

- Come on, get high, fuck!

- Wait, you?

- I got you with girls.

- Hey, how's it going?

Can I grab a shirt?

- Whatever.

- Where's Matti?

- And I don't know.

- Fuck her vanished.

- You didn't take a cell phone with him,

so we have no way to contact him.

- See, okay?

- Yeah, I'm sure he's fine.

He's probably lost or scared.

You know all the monster melons walking around.

There you go again with that Tidy talk.

You got a problem and you should see someone about it.

- Then I have a problem.

- All right, you have a problem.

- Tidy's were designed for us to fantasize about it,

and that is exactly what I do.

I fantasize about them.

Beautiful A to double-de-size Tidy,

even the course-side big nipples.

(laughs)

- Yeah.

Why do other people push me around?

I mean, I'm a decent looking lad, right?

- 'Cause it's not about looks.

All right, sometimes it's about confidence.

And for some reason, when it comes to amber,

you don't have any.

Why, what happened?

- Let me, I was hanging out with her.

You know, making her laugh and smile.

- God.

- Such a beautiful smile.

- Thanks.

- Man, I think she's finally looking at me differently.

- 'Cause that's amazing, that's a good thing, right?

- Yeah, but then some hashtag dooshback

showed up and totally stole her away from me.

- You can't stole her away, what is the impiking?

- No, that asshole made me look bad

and then took my woman for me.

I mean, what the fuck?

- Dude, girls like assholes.

She was probably hoping that you would be an asshole

and tell this guy to eat a dick or something.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Probably right.

- 'Til we're gonna punch that hashtag

dooshback in the dick next time, is he?

- What's hashtag?

- Don't worry about it.

- Hey, man.

- You know, punch that dick.

- Literally?

- Punch?

- The penis.

- Yeah.

- So I'm at a QD today, local girl?

- Yeah, her name is Sarah Girl.

She's a freshman.

- I love young girls.

- In college.

- Look at you, right?

- Getting with the older, more experienced, huh?

- Yeah, she invited us to a party.

Probably gonna be a lot of hot girls there.

Hope get your mind off of the hamburger.

- Wanna come?

- I can't.

- Got a mission to accomplish.

Got a fist a dick.

- You have fun with that college, put that?

- You're a dick, you listen.

- I agree.

- I agree.

- I agree.

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

- Hey.

- Good last.

- In the sack.

- Okay, I'm dealing.

- Are you new around here, Dylan?

- I'm just visiting actually.

- Zach?

- Well, cool, man, where from?

- From Oregon.

- What was nice of you to stop by, Dylan?

- Did you want to play some punk?

- It's just Apple J, this is a silver party.

- No, I'm good.

I was just looking for Sarah, do you know if she's around?

- Yeah, you're a real pro-finder.

- Thanks buddy.

- Wait, actually.

- Take this.

- It's up with you.

- No, I'm good, man.

I'm just gonna take it.

You really need to try this.

It's officially squeezed.

- It's a good order, organic.

- Okay, thanks.

- Yo, yo, just a brother, know you're here.

- Hey.

- Hey, love or boy?

- How's it going?

- Okay.

- Sorry, sorry.

So, what's the story?

- What's the story?

- Yeah.

- Are you nervous to hang out with me or something?

- No, I just don't really know anyone here,

so it's a little awkward, I guess.

- Well, let me introduce you.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

- Hey everyone, this is Dylan.

He's a spring breaker from Bend, Oregon.

- Yep.

- From Bend, Oregon.

- Hey guys, how's it going?

How's it going?

- Good, good, good.

- Thank you for that.

I appreciate it.

- You're welcome.

- I appreciate it.

- Yep, no problem.

- Well, you seem happier.

- You're pretty down earlier.

- Yeah, sorry about that.

- Yeah, it's fine.

How long were you with that girl anyway?

- Do you mind if we don't talk about my girlfriend tonight?

- That's no sign.

- That's your name.

- Wow.

- Tom?

- Dylan, this is Captain Jack.

He's our DD.

- Oh, is this guy fucking serious?

Is this your DD?

- Doesn't need a drinker.

- Ah, yeah.

- Gotcha.

- That's you.

- He has a couple of whiskers, plus he's like 35

and still thinks he's in high school.

- All right, cool, good to know.

Thank you.

Thanks for the warning.

Is everything okay?

- Fuck yeah!

- Um, you want to get out of here?

- Just got here.

- Yeah, um, take a drive.

- Okay.

Cool.

- I'll bring this down for you.

- I'll drive you.

Hold on.

(screams)

(upbeat music)

- I boy, how are we doing?

- Good.

- Doves?

- Yeah.

- What's the colour of linguess?

- Hmm.

Sounds like some kind of sea monster.

- Yeah, sea monster.

- It hurts, doesn't it?

- Feels like it's gonna explode.

- That's good.

That's good.

That's what you wanted to do.

- Explode, explode all over the place.

- Yeah.

So, you made it for this or what?

She looks like you're Johnson is.

Hello.

So here's what I'm gonna do.

- You take Mindy into the batter.

That's where Don's lost his virginity

when he was seven, seven, or 11, then you do a Don's

to do take charge.

What would Don's do?

You need to talk to him?

That's right.

And pound.

Pond.

Good answer.

Good answer, Maxi.

Tonight's the night in my boy.

You're gonna do this.

I think you're ready.

Now, you will put that blue powdered hard on

the other fucker.

Good use.

And you make Don's proud.

Go get a Maxi.

- Good dance.

- Yeah.

- Thank you for coming, Maxis.

Yeah, Maxis.

.

Hi, I like to order room service.

Cheeseburger, hold the meat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold the meat.

Hold the meat.

Hold the meat.

Okay, 30 minutes.

Oh, our TV is a little fuzzy.

Can you sense more to fix it?

Hello.

Oh, what a cut.

You.

God yeah.

Oh, what a cut.

Yeah.

You mean, homemade homemade.

Hey.

Okay.

It's not it.

Hold it.

Give it maintenance.

I think shovel with a TV.

All right.

Yeah.

I'm going to do a service.

No, we just like what's been.

Hey.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

.

Most people who visit don't get to see it like this.

-What are too many lights?

-Too many boobs.

-Uh...

My body Billy...

I would say that there's no such thing as too many boobs.

-Well he must be an heaven.

-He is...

He is.

That's why you come out here.

-Oh.

-What do you think about?

-When I was 15, my dad died in the car accident.

-I'm sorry.

-And we lost it.

I mean everyone just lost it.

And one night I came out here and they were still in there.

I don't know, it's something about the consistency.

Makes things we see seem less severe somehow.

And I think things are just as important as we make them.

You're turned.

-I'll play baseball.

-And my coach thinks that I should always be hitting the ball on the ground.

Like beat the throw to first.

But...

I don't know sometimes I just want to take fucking swing.

-Yeah.

-And do who knows what could happen?

I mean yeah, my strikeout.

But maybe I'd bomb it.

Maybe I hit a home run.

Maybe something new happens.

-Just want to take fucking swing.

You know, strikeout.

-Yeah. Like, if I want to throw volleyball that sad,

lonely looking guys, then I will.

It's fucking.

-Yeah exactly.

-And I might strike out.

-I'm maybe not.

-I don't think you're going to strike out, but you got my point.

-Yeah.

Fuck it.

- Fuck it.

-Yeah.

Fuckin' fucking.

-Hey, do you want to hang out with me this week?

-Me and my friends, we have like these spring break traditions.

It always ends in a big camping trip.

I just can't fire, the smores, the whole thing.

-Yeah.

I like sports.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

I'm in.

Fuck it.

-Mindy.

-Do you know what kind of leses?

-Of course.

Kind of lingoes is an oral sex act performed by a person

on the female genitalia, the clitoris, vulva,

or other parts of the vagina.

Basically, it's you eating my pussy.

Don't worry. I'll teach you.

-Oh shit.

-Right?

Now.

[music playing]

-Dear Lord,

or Shabubamand,

creator of my favorite adult website,

titsomazing.com,

whichever one of you is listening.

Please give my two tiny little balls.

The power of a mighty third,

so that I may tell Amber how I feel about her.

And if she recites my love,

I promise to never look at another boob again as long as I shall live.

Maybe not never like one per day,

or per hour.

That's a runeous.

Oh.

And pretty please.

Just let me see Amber's lips just once before I leave this world.

Just a little slip in the nip is all I ask.

A nip slip.

The tip of the nip.

The tip of her nip on my lip.

Shabubamand.

The last part was more for you.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

( traveller murmurs )

Great.

What?

My phone is dead.

And you won't need it this week.

But I got to go. My friends, not what I'm doing.

I'm sure they'll be fine.

I don't know if they're safe to be left alone out of you though.

They're big boys, right?

I guess I don't know.

( grunts )

I'm fucking...

( music playing )

♪ I never wanted you be this way ♪

♪ 'Cause you've never loved the old I live ♪

♪ I'm scared of my bloodstained clothes ♪

♪ Just the only thing that no one knows ♪

♪ Just the only thing that no one knows ♪

♪ Just the only thing that no one knows ♪

( music playing )

♪ I tried out to have fun ♪

♪ But I thought I lost myself ♪

♪ I tried out to have fun ♪

♪ But I thought I lost myself ♪

♪ You can't believe me ♪

♪ Who's got this come? ♪

♪ It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

♪ It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

♪ Are you all alone? ♪

♪ Lucky that love is you know ♪

♪ I lost my faith on your goal ♪

♪ Lifting's on from the inside out ♪

♪ Remind it of what I used to tell ♪

♪ Letting go and apply away ♪

♪ Really? ♪

♪ Just got you on my course ♪

♪ I tried out to have fun ♪

♪ But I thought I lost myself ♪

♪ I tried out to have fun ♪

♪ But I thought I lost myself ♪

♪ You can't believe me ♪

♪ I'm happy that love you know ♪

♪ I lost my faith on your goal ♪

♪ I'm happy that love is you know ♪

♪ I lost my faith on your goal ♪

♪ I lost my faith on your goal ♪

♪ This is it ♪

This is it. This is the surprise.

It's a surprise.

It's a nice view.

Yeah. So you ready?

What?

[screaming]

You stuck me to do that?

Hell yeah.

You got to surrender yourself to like challenges

and you'll never experience it.

Okay.

I'm fucking sad.

Oh shit.

[screaming]

I was so sorry.

I can't believe I did that.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're amazing.

[screaming]

What are you doing?

You're so good.

[laughing]

[screaming]

Oh, John.

[screaming]

Oh, oh.

I never wanted it to be this way.

[singing]

[singing]

Nice.

Nice.

Captain Jack, that was awesome.

So you're leaving soon.

I hope.

Yeah, and fun at least, right?

Yeah.

I'm leaving in the next couple days.

But I don't really want to.

It's been amazing.

Yeah, I heard it rains along an organ.

I'm a sock.

Hey guys, what's going on?

Jeff.

Um, this is...

I'm Jeff.

And you are?

This is Dylan. He's from Mount Town.

You're going to dream me like this?

This is what I get.

This is what I deserve.

Jeff.

[music playing]

Everything okay?

Everything okay?

Everything okay.

I just said that.

I just said that.

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Hey, why don't you beer me, bro?

Look, everyone.

I'm in the fourth grade.

Look, everybody.

I'm in the fourth grade.

Dylan.

What?

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's not your fault.

This is a touching song that will touch your hearts

the way that my dad used to touch me.

I...

That sucks.

Well, Mom, not...

Duh!

She was my sister.

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

Would you please say something?

Yeah. Thanks for the right.

It's not what you think. Okay?

He's making...

What do you want me to say?

What the...

I like you that I really, really like you that I had an amazing time with you this week for the first time.

You don't fucking...

Dylan, wait!

[music playing]

[music playing]

Jesus, man, what the fuck have you been doing in here?

Looks like someone's been partying a little bit, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Been partying, all right?

We're the fuck of you, man!

You know, I don't even want to know.

You're probably up boating that hot local college chick.

Well, I'm in here with a giant loader boulder because Amber's off with some hashtag

Dooshback Musclehead, who is a straight belt hat.

I'm sorry, man.

All right, that sucks.

Yeah, if fucking sucks, I mean you have maxi's left me.

I don't even know where it is. He's probably dead.

The back-sharp beauty's just gone.

Don't, don't ask. And I could have really used the support of my best friend.

I texted you letting you know what I was doing.

I thought that you'd be happy for me.

Yeah, never received any text from you, and I am just so happy for you.

Now, I'm going to go try and find our most likely dead best friend and get the fuck out of here.

It's the bathroom.

I have to take a shit, but I can't.

You're frustrated. I shamed it to me.

So Maxi wrote us a note.

Found it under the pizza box.

It says, "Hey guys, I'm losing it.

Exclamation mark. Sign Maximus.

Exo. Exo.

Can't we should be worried?"

He's losing it.

And he lost it a long time ago.

I called the sheriff's office, but the girl there was kind of a nutjob.

Look, I'm sure he'll turn up sooner or later.

He added a PS.

I got you guys a little sun-sum-sum.

I hid them in the closet with another exclamation mark.

Of course he hid them in the closet.

He hides himself in the closet.

Such a thoughtful version.

Yeah.

So it turns out that the freshman has a boyfriend.

Shit, man.

I'm sorry I left you behind, alright?

Shouldn't have done that.

I don't know, I guess I suck like Katie.

Sorry, lick.

You do?

You do?

I know.

I know.

Damn.

I didn't have the balls to be the man that she deserves.

No, fuck that, man.

Alright, that's not how we're going to go out.

We're going to go back to town, and we're not going to leave until you tell Amber how you feel about her.

I look, when everyone's walking in the first period, alright?

Everyone's walking in the school who's the first person they hear cheering them up on the radio.

You, right?

This guy is a little face, right here.

When you didn't want to do the same thing for every spring break and you decided to master mine this whole spring

Brocation, alright?

Who's the one that got me a maxi out here and got me out of town when I was upset with my girlfriend?

Billy, Billy, Jesus fucking Christ.

Why are you still carrying those around?

Whatever, that's beside the point, right?

When Amber walks into biology class and she wants to laugh and I'm a good time, because she's sitting next to biology film.

Biology fucking Billy exactly, that's what I'm talking about, alright?

So enough with this procrastinating in our hotel room, which I've never seen before,

and you should check that out.

We're going to go back out there and we're going to start this location up like we didn't tend to do.

Alright, the way we started, you with me, come on, man.

I gave you out!

Yes!

Yes!

Come back on the team, alright!

I'm looking for balls in my belly button.

Yes, they are.

I'm taking my fucking set out!

I'm feeling sexy, I'm like...

I'm feeling this strong, you can't take it out!

But I'm too sexy, I'm like...

I'm like...

I'm like...

I'm like...

Like a poor child!

I'm like...

Like a poor child!

I'm like...

Who I'm for a child!

Who I'm for a child!

Who I'm for a child!

So how do you plan on finding Amber?

My bone are dealing?

My bone are.

Right, I forgot.

Sometimes you just gotta follow that shit, right?

Yeah?

I'm real.

What?

Dude.

What?

No, don't sit down.

Don't sit down.

No, no, no.

Don't want to go to the party.

I said you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

Damn pants off from, man!

Ha ha ha!

It's a good BTTF reference, a pretty good movie.

Summing such a creepy, soccer-ex-boyfriend.

He's taking over my time with the teacher.

I didn't follow you out here.

I am a way to pray for you!

Oh!

What are you doing?

Oh, I'll leave you alone.

That's right.

Walk away, dog.

Alright, I will walk away.

Snoop.

Hey, here.

Let me help you out with this.

No, don't sit.

No, go.

That's fucking gross, man.

Gross.

Gross.

Alright, guys.

Are you doing?

Come on.

What the fuck are you doing?

I'm doing 10, man.

You're my band.

You know what's my band?

I'll leave you standing.

I'll leave you standing.

I'll leave you standing.

I'll leave you standing.

I'll leave you standing.

I'll leave you standing.

Well, that's a care of her, huh?

I love you, man.

Hey, just doing our jobs.

Let's shut our own.

That's true.

Hey, it's biology for me.

Shall?

What are you doing here?

Lepard boat.

How do you sleep?

I love Lepards.

Okay, have you seen Amber anymore?

Oh, yeah. She was asking about you.

Where come with me?

Where is she?

She was silly.

We're about to go watch the DJ.

Spin his laptop.

If you heard, you can.

I can?

Yes, Billy.

Just come.

Come.

You're not coming.

Hello?

Hiya.

Yeah, hello.

Sheriff station.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I need a chance to explain.

You don't have to explain.

Okay, you don't owe me an explanation.

It was my fault.

I knew.

That's something was wrong.

I just went along with it anyway.

You don't owe me anything.

I just don't know what you want from me.

Wow.

Okay.

Remember when I told you about how my dad died?

It was a car crash, right?

Jeff was the one driving the car.

He might be a little messed up, but he is my brother.

Not my boyfriend.

Sarah, wait.

See that shit, man?

He looks like you owe Sarah and a ballad you.

I know.

Get out of here, man.

Go on, fight.

I will.

And take this.

Apple juice orange juice.

And it's freshly squeezed.

Especially squeezed in the organic.

I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

I think I've learned it's really.

I'm happy.

Oh, it's a little bloody.

What the hell?

Yeah, we're glad to see you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're the cash tag.

Staying.

Falling a play.

Hey, you can't call a small person in Elf.

This isn't the North Pole.

Oh no.

It isn't our cold, Michelle.

Yeah, cash tag.

Talk to you over there for a second.

Just a little walk and talk, man.

I'm cool.

I really like it.

No.

It's a little bit.

All right.

You got to have a ski.

I'm trying.

I don't know.

You're trying.

Nice.

Try.

Pussy pants.

Who you call him.

Pussy pants.

Pussy pants.

Oh.

Hashtag.

Bitch fell.

Why don't you hashtag this.

What's wrong?

Hashtag broke.

Did.

Hashtag say hi to you for giant for me.

I'm so sorry, line.

Hashtag biology, Billy bitch.

Biology, bitch.

Hashtag.

Why are you going to be such a dick?

Just be cool.

No dick cool.

Hashtag.

I love Amber Andrews.

Amber.

I know I don't have a super cool name like cash tag or an even cooler necklace to back it up.

I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember.

I promise myself I wouldn't leave you without telling you how.

You should have found your balls a long time ago.

I should have.

I don't.

Okay.

.

So.

I'm gonna asshole.

Yeah.

You're an asshole.

I'm sorry.

I didn't like you explain yourself.

I guess I was just dealing with my own stuff.

But.

I've had an amazing time with you this week.

And.

I know that I don't deserve anything from you.

And I know that.

You can say no.

But.

Does there any chance that I can maybe get into the shot at it?

Yeah. I mean, it's my fault too.

I love my brother and I would do anything for him, but,

I don't handle him right away most of the time and that's not fair

to him or me.

So...I'm sorry to.

I like you, Dylan.

I'm gonna kiss you now. Is that okay?

Yes, please.

Hi. How's it going?

Hi.

Can you help us find our friend?

Does he work here?

Well, he's not a cop.

Did you try to call him?

Oh, he left his cell phone in our hotel room, so...

He didn't have his phone.

Did you call him with his phone?

Did I call him with his own phone?

Or you could call him with your phone?

Look, I'm sorry. We see no gun off on the wrong foot here.

Can you just ask one of your colleagues in the back if they can help us find our friend?

No.

Please fill out this form, please.

Here you go.

Oh, we got a max C-pad age 18 from Bend, or a gun.

Yeah, that's him.

Hey man, wow.

Yes, I'm back here.

Do you have a max C-pad back there?

Or that's you, some fothy sma.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

What do we do have is chocolate?

He's...

He's been passed out in their holding cage.

Captain Jack?

Wait.

You know a ton of his jags.

Who's Tyre's Jack?

Captain Jack!

You know what the whole time, Sean makes sense?

Jack.

We used to be best friends.

But now you don't recognize me no more.

So, every now and then, I bring an end to these days on...

In this way, I get to see an oooooooooooow.

Pal of mine.

That's an interesting storm, man.

Well, looks so there's no one here named Maxi or Maxi.

Wait, I don't know what the...

Some people in these cage over there.

Katie, is that you?

Dylan, Dylan, will you come back for me?

I just want to do it!

I take it.

This is the infamous X-girlfriend of yours.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it makes sense.

I'm glad you asked Katie.

This is Sarah.

And Sarah is awesome.

And you're not... you kind of suck actually.

That's right.

She does suck.

Don't you Kathy.

It's daddy!

Actually, she doesn't suck at all.

And you'll realize that sooner or later.

So, we're just going to let you get back to that.

Kathy, great to see you again.

DJ, have a good one.

Dylan, do we move?

(screaming)

Who was that a truck?

Any luck?

No.

No, Maxi.

But we did find someone else nice and locked up.

Thanks to you.

No way, man.

That's awesome.

Dude, I mean, you can see we got to go.

Oh, I got to get this back to the Peterson.

Who's that fortune piece?

What's that up?

Fucking time machine.

What?

The fucking ship balls.

Is that...

Maxi?

You're dying, dude.

You're dying, dude.

You're dying, dude.

You're dying, dude.

You're dying, dude.

You're dying, dude.

You're dying, dude.

What's up, motherfucker?

It's Maxi.

Mad Maxi.

What's up, motherfucker?

It's Maxi.

Mad Maxi.

I thought you were dead.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck.

Have you been mad?

Happy sex.

Oh, big.

Long.

Get out of here.

That's amazing.

Oh, Bill, guess what?

What?

I know a killing assistant out and his awesome.

Awesome.

Oh, speaking of Mindy's Badger.

You all remember Mindy, right?

Yeah, hi from, beware of tits, right?

How's it going?

I'm a little tired.

Mad Maxi has a lot of stamina.

Dude, you look like a woman.

Dude, you left this in our room.

We've been looking for you all weekend.

Thanks, man.

Is that?

Yeah, it's Amber Andrews.

What the fuck did I miss?

From the looks of it, not much, man.

What is this new haircut?

Yes, Mad Maxi style now.

Looks good, man.

Like, have a suit.

Where you dreams come true.

I don't talk.

No, no, no.

Do you talk?

Love where you head to right now.

What have you been in?

We're just glad to have you back, but getting ready to hit the road.

Are you ready?

Sorry, we gotta take your man away from you.

Oh, it's okay.

I've played on seeing Max again.

Real soon.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

Nice.

Back.

Nice.

Okay.

That thing's in some spaces.

All right, we can go.

Hey, you.

Get up here.

I'm going to go down.

So, who?

Yes, it's calling me from jail.

No, really?

Yeah.

I'm going to let her slide this one out.

So annoying.

Dilly.

Hey, when she calls you that, fuck.

I love you.

I know.

Come on, fuckers.

Let's hit the highway.

Thank you, Shubu.

I'll feed the scene.

I'll be back.

I'll feed the scene.

I've heard of tell you.

Guess who's be-re-scorned to state next year.

Just the best day of my life.

My name is Dylan Green.

And I just had the time of my...

Don't talk.

Yeah.

Don't talk, Dylan.

Okay.

(Music)

Hello?

Not this year?

I'm gonna run up there.

Yeah?

Who are you boys?

Who do you want, isn't it?

We're the guys who rented your boat, man.

Oh shit.

I never forget a name.

Poor thing.

Wow, wow.

I'm really sorry about this man, but we can't seem to locate the website on the internet.

Actually, I do have-

I don't know.

I don't know.

No, you don't.

All right.

We good?

Cool.

I guess we're good.

Yes, so we're gonna go.

Good luck with the website.

That'll help you a lot.

Love your work.

And we'll see you.

See you later.

Actually.

Where's my boat, boy?

Fuck your boat.

Very nice.

What?

Who's that?

Where's my boat, boy?

Shit.

Did you get everything you wanted out of them boys?

Fuck you.

I'm gonna have a soup.

I'm gonna have a soup.

I'm gonna have a soup.

See you in 26.

Take two.

Dylan, wait!

Dylan!

I'll like it.

Oh, don't do that.

You missed this spot.

No shit.

Yes, shit.

There's shit on the...

There's shit on my lip.

So?

Can you give me a hug?

I can't give you a hug.

So nasty.

[laughing]

It felt like a raptor.

Ragnar's are cool.

Jassie Park was a favorite film of mine.

It's a trap.

Hey, man, what?

Yes.

Should we order some lunch?

I did.

What do we eat in today?

He's learned.

That's nice.

See you with the lip over.

And the tongue?

What do you do with boxing commentator?

Yeah, that's nice.

Really? Like what he's down?

Can you just enjoy this?

I don't have to talk about it.

Fine.

So on my shift is over in like 17 hours.

You want to maybe, I don't know.

It'll get some food or something.

Absolutely.

I got my first bone or last week.

It was great.

What the f--

Oh, what?

Is your boy messing with my girl over there?

They're just talking.

They're just chatting, huh?

Yeah.

Okay.

Is there something on my feet?

Is that cum?