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Hi.
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How did you like Lisbon?
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It's beautiful,
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like you.
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Bravo!
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Bravo! Me too.
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Me too.
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For you.
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He's your favorite author, isn't he?
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Yes.
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I was thinking before
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when I was on the plane,
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it's been six months today.
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Thank you.
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Is everything alright?
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Yes.
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Are you sure?
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You didn't speak the whole trip.
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Riki, I'm fine!
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It doesn't seem like it to me.
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What do I have to do? I am like this!
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Like what?
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Melancholic?
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This is cultural appropriation:
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I'm the Portuguese one.
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Come on Matteo!
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Matteo!
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Matteo!
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Matteo!
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I'll do it.
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What?
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I'll do it.
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Come on, you're tired.
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You heard what
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the doctor said.
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You must rest.
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Are you staying over tonight?
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What?
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Are you staying over?
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Yes.
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Do you want to eat?
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What?
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What's in the fridge.
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Okay.
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There is
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an apple
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a lemon
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and a beer
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a beer and a half.
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Make something.
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I make… what with what?
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A sandwich
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with apple
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and lemon
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and beer.
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Yeah?
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Okay!
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I'll fix it!
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Is pizza okay?
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We have to celebrate.
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What?
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To us
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beyond what is going to happen.
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To us who will always look at each other like this.
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No?
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Yes.
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Your tests results are excellent.
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We will start with a therapy
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based on the single tablet regimen
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which means one tablet a day.
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Then I would move on to a new therapy
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based on an injection
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every two months.
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You are young,
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this shouldn't have any
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side effects.
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We will work to ensure that your
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viral load drops to zero.
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You told me
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you have a partner.
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Does he know about your situation?
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Yes, he knows.
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He still has to get tested.
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How long have I been...
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Your CD4 levels are currently 360
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and you are in the position to
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start a therapy.
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If you don't start the treatment
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you run the risk of compromising
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your immune system.
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And get AIDS, right?
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How long have I been HIV positive?
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Approximately
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with these values
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I would say for at least a couple of years,
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but that's not sure,
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each of us reacts
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differently.
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Be assured that
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medicine makes
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giant strides every year.
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Today it is possible,
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one injection every two months
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If you need, there is a listening group.
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It could help you.
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In the near future
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only one injection will be enough
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to keep it under control.
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We have to get up.
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You have to get the test too this morning.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Go
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otherwise you’ll be late for your appointment.
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To get tested, you have to go
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that way.
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Pavilion E.
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You’ll be asked a few questions
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but that's the procedure.
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Okay.
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I'll wait for you out here.
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Go.
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Go.
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Matteo?
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Matteo?
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Sara?
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Are you fine?
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Yes?
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I'm already here in Turin
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at Matteo's house.
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If you know anything let me know.
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If you know let me know.
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How is your mother?
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It’s been a few years since I last heard from her.
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I actually don't hear from anyone
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in the family anymore.
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I didn't know.
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A day comes
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and everything changes.
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Anyway, fetch the rest please.
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Last night it sounded like
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you weren't feeling well…
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could it be my cooking’s fault?
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Back in my days it was even worse, you know?
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And I still pay the consequences today.
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I carry the damage
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from those damned pills
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which have done even more damage than the virus itself.
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Today it's different,
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a single drug is enough
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and you move on
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and the side effects are minimal.
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What’s happening?
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Nothing
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It's my arthrosis
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that's galloping.
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Fetch me a chair, please.
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My body is giving me precise signals that
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it is abandoning me.
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Can't it be cured?
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Don't worry Matteo,
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you're young,
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these are signs of old age.
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Do you know how lucky Riccardo is
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to have you in his life?
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You can help each other.
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It all started as a joke,
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we met in a bar,
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he acted like an asshole,
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he pretended not to understand Italian,
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he only spoke to me in Portuguese
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and I started making
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a lot of gestures,
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we laughed
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a lot.
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I've always been afraid
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of this HIV thing.
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But then you think
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"but it doesn't happen to me".
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When I told him, I thought
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he would run away
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but he stayed.
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We go well together.
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But I don't want to do any therapy.
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And I don't want to hurt him.
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What if I have already infected him?
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I met many kids like you
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in the 90s
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and they all had the same thought,
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the same fear:
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"what will become of me?"
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Today it's different
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with therapy
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you will no longer have to be afraid of infecting someone.
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What are you doing here?
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Come on in.
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Are you OK?
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This is Enzo, my uncle.
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I haven't seen him for a while.
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I just came here as
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soon as I found out...
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His story isn't that different from mine.
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We have the same fears.
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You could have told me you were here,
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I would have helped you
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without a doubt.
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I don't want to influence your life.
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But I want to be present!
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Riccardo!
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I'm scared too!
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But I want to try to face it.
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We are both afraid.
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But I don't want to react like you.
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You say you're present.
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Then why didn't you get tested?
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At night I have nightmares,
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I wake up unable to sleep
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or even to breathe.
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And then I think of you.
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If I test positive
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it's not your fault
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I took decisions too
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you weren't alone.
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Matteo,
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let's face it together.
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I don't even know why I came here.
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I am tired.
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I don't want to start the therapy.
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Maybe it's better that we just break up.
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Matteo told me everything.
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There must be a reason
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if you two have reached this point,
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right?
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The more I look at you
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the more you remind me of...
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You know guys,
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back in my days everything was more difficult
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we could only see each other secretly,
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if my family had ever found out
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who knows what would have happened…
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Especially my father…
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We have difficult moments too.
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But this is life:
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the unknown,
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the need to change,
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to live every moment taking the best of it
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without knowing what will come next.
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At 50 I started giving a fuck about the world
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and at 60 the world started giving a fuck about me.
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Perhaps
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there are not always happy endings.
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Hey.
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Hey.
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00:50:32,115 --> 00:50:34,660
I wanted to check how do you feel.
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Come in.
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00:50:52,511 --> 00:50:54,304
Have you finished the book?
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00:50:55,722 --> 00:50:56,515
Yes.
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00:50:58,141 --> 00:50:58,934
Beautiful.
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00:51:01,812 --> 00:51:02,896
Thank you.
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00:51:03,397 --> 00:51:04,857
I like it when you read it for me.
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I don't always understand everything, though.
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Neither do I
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understand many things about you Italians.
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You have too many words
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with "i"
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"bambini"
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"fusilli"
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"pomodorini".
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What do we do, Matteo?
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I don't want to be without you.
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In this valley a legend is told
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that talks about demons.
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Demons who plundered crops
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and frightened farmers.
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A group of friars decided to try to drive them away
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and tried with exorcisms and anathemas, but
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there was nothing to be done.
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But one day it was one of these demons
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who revealed the reason for the failures,
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convinced that he could never be driven away,
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he told a farmer that to do so
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a person should have been involved
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with a good soul
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and a pure, spotless heart.
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Since then, demons continue to populate this valley
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and feed on the souls
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of frightened impure people.
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Maybe we should go home.
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Help me get the car started again.
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Wait, look, the road collapsed
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after last night's torrential rain.
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But there should be another road, right?
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There isn't any.
294
00:54:58,382 --> 00:54:59,550
What do you want from us?
295
00:55:00,259 --> 00:55:02,177
Why are you keeping us here?
296
00:55:02,177 --> 00:55:03,011
Riccardo
297
00:55:03,011 --> 00:55:05,013
No, he's filling our heads with his stories
298
00:55:05,013 --> 00:55:06,223
to keep us here.
299
00:55:06,223 --> 00:55:07,182
What do you want?
300
00:55:07,182 --> 00:55:07,975
Riccardo!
301
00:55:08,392 --> 00:55:09,309
Calm down!
302
00:55:16,316 --> 00:55:17,025
Riccardo!
303
00:55:19,152 --> 00:55:19,903
Riccardo!
304
00:56:20,172 --> 00:56:21,715
Why don't you take the pills?
305
00:56:23,383 --> 00:56:25,010
Why, Matteo?
306
00:56:26,887 --> 00:56:28,555
What do you want to do with your life?
307
00:56:28,555 --> 00:56:29,515
I do not want to talk.
308
00:56:29,515 --> 00:56:30,807
- What do you want to do with your life?
- Calm...
309
00:56:31,850 --> 00:56:33,185
- Do you want…?
- Calm down.
310
00:56:33,602 --> 00:56:34,853
What do you want?
311
00:56:34,853 --> 00:56:35,479
You want to stay here
312
00:56:36,563 --> 00:56:37,689
without doing anything
313
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,317
you want to become like your uncle
314
00:56:40,567 --> 00:56:41,109
alone
315
00:56:41,276 --> 00:56:42,110
here!
316
00:56:42,110 --> 00:56:43,237
- Why are you doing so?
- Leave me.
317
00:56:43,237 --> 00:56:43,904
- Take it easy.
- Leave me.
318
00:56:44,613 --> 00:56:46,949
- Wait! Take it easy!
- Leave me!
319
00:57:13,392 --> 00:57:15,060
And us?
320
00:57:18,272 --> 00:57:19,731
And I?
321
00:57:25,863 --> 00:57:27,030
And I?
322
00:57:27,739 --> 00:57:28,782
Tell me.
323
00:57:29,783 --> 00:57:30,617
Give me time.
324
00:57:31,827 --> 00:57:33,579
Time for what?
325
00:57:36,081 --> 00:57:37,332
And us?
326
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,003
And I?
327
00:57:41,503 --> 00:57:42,296
And I?
328
00:57:44,548 --> 00:57:47,467
- Stop!
- Leave me!
329
00:57:48,010 --> 00:57:49,303
I'm here.
330
00:57:50,095 --> 00:57:52,222
- Leave me!
- I'm here!
331
00:57:53,223 --> 00:57:54,474
Leave me!
332
00:58:00,189 --> 00:58:02,900
Leave me!
333
00:58:05,194 --> 00:58:08,071
Leave me!
334
00:58:19,750 --> 00:58:21,001
Leave me Matteo!
335
00:58:47,361 --> 00:58:49,196
I can’t, I’m sorry.
336
00:58:55,786 --> 00:58:57,204
I love you.
337
00:59:10,884 --> 00:59:13,220
We met through a mutual friend,
338
00:59:13,220 --> 00:59:14,429
Lucia.
339
00:59:14,847 --> 00:59:16,974
One day she called me and said
340
00:59:16,974 --> 00:59:19,268
"you know, there's someone in my office
341
00:59:19,268 --> 00:59:21,270
that you must absolutely meet"
342
00:59:21,270 --> 00:59:23,689
and we haven't lost touch with each other since.
343
00:59:28,151 --> 00:59:30,863
We also had another mutual friend,
344
00:59:30,863 --> 00:59:32,030
Luca,
345
00:59:32,030 --> 00:59:34,032
who died a few years later of AIDS.
346
00:59:35,534 --> 00:59:38,787
Luca was fundamental to the story between me and Paul
347
00:59:38,787 --> 00:59:41,623
because he helped me understand the importance
348
00:59:41,623 --> 00:59:43,625
of having him in my life.
349
00:59:44,543 --> 00:59:47,337
It was the best gift he gave me
350
00:59:47,337 --> 00:59:48,797
before he left.
351
00:59:51,258 --> 00:59:55,220
However, with Paul it wasn't always easy.
352
00:59:55,929 --> 00:59:57,598
Every now and then he would leave for weeks
353
00:59:57,598 --> 00:59:59,433
without telling anyone where he was going
354
00:59:59,725 --> 01:00:02,102
and then suddenly he would return
355
01:00:03,395 --> 01:00:05,439
and those were beautiful moments.
356
01:00:07,274 --> 01:00:10,110
I would have waited for him forever
357
01:00:10,444 --> 01:00:12,196
because I loved him.
358
01:00:15,824 --> 01:00:18,202
One day he came…
359
01:00:18,619 --> 01:00:20,287
home with…
360
01:00:23,665 --> 01:00:26,710
that bad diagnosis, and..
361
01:00:35,469 --> 01:00:38,847
since then we never left each other again,
362
01:00:39,348 --> 01:00:41,892
at least until he passed away.
363
01:00:43,685 --> 01:00:45,479
When he died I
364
01:00:45,479 --> 01:00:47,314
came to live here.
365
01:00:47,314 --> 01:00:49,525
In this house. Alone.
366
01:00:50,984 --> 01:00:52,986
Because it's better to be alone
367
01:00:52,986 --> 01:00:55,572
when even your family abandons you.
368
01:01:02,663 --> 01:01:05,207
Let's drink on it. I'll go get a beer.
369
01:03:05,035 --> 01:03:08,163
I haven't had a map in my hand since...
370
01:03:18,590 --> 01:03:21,009
You and me should go on a trip.
371
01:03:24,429 --> 01:03:26,849
We've never done it.
372
01:03:28,475 --> 01:03:29,977
Where would you go?
373
01:03:29,977 --> 01:03:30,894
Somewhere.
374
01:03:33,397 --> 01:03:35,691
Somewhere where
375
01:03:36,608 --> 01:03:38,735
there isn't too much noise,
376
01:03:40,445 --> 01:03:41,947
where
377
01:03:41,947 --> 01:03:43,949
there is silence.
378
01:03:45,617 --> 01:03:46,994
I go often there
379
01:03:46,994 --> 01:03:49,162
whenever I want to remember who I am.
380
01:03:52,875 --> 01:03:55,169
Then I think of you
381
01:03:55,169 --> 01:03:57,004
and it's not enough anymore.
382
01:03:59,673 --> 01:04:01,633
I don't want to miss anything about you.
383
01:04:02,718 --> 01:04:04,344
even the things I don't understand.
384
01:04:07,306 --> 01:04:10,601
You make me understand that if I want to stay in here
385
01:04:10,851 --> 01:04:12,102
I have to stay in here too.
386
01:04:38,128 --> 01:04:40,047
When do we leave?
387
01:04:43,967 --> 01:04:45,594
Now.
388
01:06:16,310 --> 01:06:19,521
All those nights we slept together.
389
01:06:20,063 --> 01:06:22,816
it's as if they never existed,
390
01:06:24,735 --> 01:06:27,112
memory fades over time
391
01:06:27,529 --> 01:06:29,198
until it disappears.
392
01:06:30,657 --> 01:06:32,868
I no longer remember the colors of his eyes,
393
01:06:33,118 --> 01:06:34,536
his face,
394
01:06:35,412 --> 01:06:36,246
his smell.
395
01:06:38,665 --> 01:06:41,168
There are two most useless feelings in life:
396
01:06:42,294 --> 01:06:44,630
guilt for what happened
397
01:06:45,589 --> 01:06:49,092
and anxiety for what could still happen.
398
01:06:51,470 --> 01:06:53,931
Don't be overwhelmed by fear
399
01:06:54,515 --> 01:06:56,225
but welcome it,
400
01:06:56,725 --> 01:06:57,935
face it
401
01:06:58,435 --> 01:07:00,479
and then let it go.
402
01:07:01,438 --> 01:07:02,898
Not alone, though.
403
01:07:03,398 --> 01:07:04,650
Together,
404
01:07:05,859 --> 01:07:07,819
because together we are stronger.
405
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:14,243
Many of us live like failures
406
01:07:14,743 --> 01:07:18,372
waiting for the right time to do something.
407
01:07:21,166 --> 01:07:23,377
Leave now guys
408
01:07:23,669 --> 01:07:25,921
from where you are, with what you have
409
01:07:26,964 --> 01:07:29,299
and you will find better means along the way.
410
01:07:31,969 --> 01:07:32,970
I too
411
01:07:35,222 --> 01:07:38,308
was afraid of what I felt inside
412
01:07:39,810 --> 01:07:43,522
but it is within us that we find what we need.
413
01:07:46,316 --> 01:07:48,068
Now go.
414
01:07:49,611 --> 01:07:51,613
At the end of the path there is a crossroads,
415
01:07:51,613 --> 01:07:53,198
a sanctuary
416
01:07:53,198 --> 01:07:55,284
and a road that leads to the town.
417
01:07:56,451 --> 01:07:57,953
Follow it immediately
418
01:07:58,912 --> 01:08:00,664
before it gets dark.
419
01:08:02,749 --> 01:08:04,459
What are you waiting for?
420
01:08:05,043 --> 01:08:06,044
Go,
421
01:08:07,212 --> 01:08:08,881
there's no more time left.
26182
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