Original subtitles

Hi.

How did you like Lisbon?

It's beautiful,

like you.

Bravo!

Bravo! Me too.

Me too.

For you.

He's your favorite author, isn't he?

Yes.

I was thinking before

when I was on the plane,

it's been six months today.

Thank you.

Is everything alright?

Yes.

Are you sure?

You didn't speak the whole trip.

Riki, I'm fine!

It doesn't seem like it to me.

What do I have to do? I am like this!

Like what?

Melancholic?

This is cultural appropriation:

I'm the Portuguese one.

Come on Matteo!

Matteo!

Matteo!

Matteo!

I'll do it.

What?

I'll do it.

Come on, you're tired.

You heard what

the doctor said.

You must rest.

Are you staying over tonight?

What?

Are you staying over?

Yes.

Do you want to eat?

What?

What's in the fridge.

Okay.

There is

an apple

a lemon

and a beer

a beer and a half.

Make something.

I make… what with what?

A sandwich

with apple

and lemon

and beer.

Yeah?

Okay!

I'll fix it!

Is pizza okay?

We have to celebrate.

What?

To us

beyond what is going to happen.

To us who will always look at each other like this.

No?

Yes.

Your tests results are excellent.

We will start with a therapy

based on the single tablet regimen

which means one tablet a day.

Then I would move on to a new therapy

based on an injection

every two months.

You are young,

this shouldn't have any

side effects.

We will work to ensure that your

viral load drops to zero.

You told me

you have a partner.

Does he know about your situation?

Yes, he knows.

He still has to get tested.

How long have I been...

Your CD4 levels are currently 360

and you are in the position to

start a therapy.

If you don't start the treatment

you run the risk of compromising

your immune system.

And get AIDS, right?

How long have I been HIV positive?

Approximately

with these values

I would say for at least a couple of years,

but that's not sure,

each of us reacts

differently.

Be assured that

medicine makes

giant strides every year.

Today it is possible,

one injection every two months

If you need, there is a listening group.

It could help you.

In the near future

only one injection will be enough

to keep it under control.

We have to get up.

You have to get the test too this morning.

Okay.

Okay.

Go

otherwise you’ll be late for your appointment.

To get tested, you have to go

that way.

Pavilion E.

You’ll be asked a few questions

but that's the procedure.

Okay.

I'll wait for you out here.

Go.

Go.

Matteo?

Matteo?

Sara?

Are you fine?

Yes?

I'm already here in Turin

at Matteo's house.

If you know anything let me know.

If you know let me know.

How is your mother?

It’s been a few years since I last heard from her.

I actually don't hear from anyone

in the family anymore.

I didn't know.

A day comes

and everything changes.

Anyway, fetch the rest please.

Last night it sounded like

you weren't feeling well…

could it be my cooking’s fault?

Back in my days it was even worse, you know?

And I still pay the consequences today.

I carry the damage

from those damned pills

which have done even more damage than the virus itself.

Today it's different,

a single drug is enough

and you move on

and the side effects are minimal.

What’s happening?

Nothing

It's my arthrosis

that's galloping.

Fetch me a chair, please.

My body is giving me precise signals that

it is abandoning me.

Can't it be cured?

Don't worry Matteo,

you're young,

these are signs of old age.

Do you know how lucky Riccardo is

to have you in his life?

You can help each other.

It all started as a joke,

we met in a bar,

he acted like an asshole,

he pretended not to understand Italian,

he only spoke to me in Portuguese

and I started making

a lot of gestures,

we laughed

a lot.

I've always been afraid

of this HIV thing.

But then you think

"but it doesn't happen to me".

When I told him, I thought

he would run away

but he stayed.

We go well together.

But I don't want to do any therapy.

And I don't want to hurt him.

What if I have already infected him?

I met many kids like you

in the 90s

and they all had the same thought,

the same fear:

"what will become of me?"

Today it's different

with therapy

you will no longer have to be afraid of infecting someone.

What are you doing here?

Come on in.

Are you OK?

This is Enzo, my uncle.

I haven't seen him for a while.

I just came here as

soon as I found out...

His story isn't that different from mine.

We have the same fears.

You could have told me you were here,

I would have helped you

without a doubt.

I don't want to influence your life.

But I want to be present!

Riccardo!

I'm scared too!

But I want to try to face it.

We are both afraid.

But I don't want to react like you.

You say you're present.

Then why didn't you get tested?

At night I have nightmares,

I wake up unable to sleep

or even to breathe.

And then I think of you.

If I test positive

it's not your fault

I took decisions too

you weren't alone.

Matteo,

let's face it together.

I don't even know why I came here.

I am tired.

I don't want to start the therapy.

Maybe it's better that we just break up.

Matteo told me everything.

There must be a reason

if you two have reached this point,

right?

The more I look at you

the more you remind me of...

You know guys,

back in my days everything was more difficult

we could only see each other secretly,

if my family had ever found out

who knows what would have happened…

Especially my father…

We have difficult moments too.

But this is life:

the unknown,

the need to change,

to live every moment taking the best of it

without knowing what will come next.

At 50 I started giving a fuck about the world

and at 60 the world started giving a fuck about me.

Perhaps

there are not always happy endings.

Hey.

Hey.

I wanted to check how do you feel.

Come in.

Have you finished the book?

Yes.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

I like it when you read it for me.

I don't always understand everything, though.

Neither do I

understand many things about you Italians.

You have too many words

with "i"

"bambini"

"fusilli"

"pomodorini".

What do we do, Matteo?

I don't want to be without you.

In this valley a legend is told

that talks about demons.

Demons who plundered crops

and frightened farmers.

A group of friars decided to try to drive them away

and tried with exorcisms and anathemas, but

there was nothing to be done.

But one day it was one of these demons

who revealed the reason for the failures,

convinced that he could never be driven away,

he told a farmer that to do so

a person should have been involved

with a good soul

and a pure, spotless heart.

Since then, demons continue to populate this valley

and feed on the souls

of frightened impure people.

Maybe we should go home.

Help me get the car started again.

Wait, look, the road collapsed

after last night's torrential rain.

But there should be another road, right?

There isn't any.

What do you want from us?

Why are you keeping us here?

Riccardo

No, he's filling our heads with his stories

to keep us here.

What do you want?

Riccardo!

Calm down!

Riccardo!

Riccardo!

Why don't you take the pills?

Why, Matteo?

What do you want to do with your life?

I do not want to talk.

- What do you want to do with your life? - Calm...

- Do you want…? - Calm down.

What do you want?

You want to stay here

without doing anything

you want to become like your uncle

alone

here!

- Why are you doing so? - Leave me.

- Take it easy. - Leave me.

- Wait! Take it easy! - Leave me!

And us?

And I?

And I?

Tell me.

Give me time.

Time for what?

And us?

And I?

And I?

- Stop! - Leave me!

I'm here.

- Leave me! - I'm here!

Leave me!

Leave me!

Leave me!

Leave me Matteo!

I can’t, I’m sorry.

I love you.

We met through a mutual friend,

Lucia.

One day she called me and said

"you know, there's someone in my office

that you must absolutely meet"

and we haven't lost touch with each other since.

We also had another mutual friend,

Luca,

who died a few years later of AIDS.

Luca was fundamental to the story between me and Paul

because he helped me understand the importance

of having him in my life.

It was the best gift he gave me

before he left.

However, with Paul it wasn't always easy.

Every now and then he would leave for weeks

without telling anyone where he was going

and then suddenly he would return

and those were beautiful moments.

I would have waited for him forever

because I loved him.

One day he came…

home with…

that bad diagnosis, and..

since then we never left each other again,

at least until he passed away.

When he died I

came to live here.

In this house. Alone.

Because it's better to be alone

when even your family abandons you.

Let's drink on it. I'll go get a beer.

I haven't had a map in my hand since...

You and me should go on a trip.

We've never done it.

Where would you go?

Somewhere.

Somewhere where

there isn't too much noise,

where

there is silence.

I go often there

whenever I want to remember who I am.

Then I think of you

and it's not enough anymore.

I don't want to miss anything about you.

even the things I don't understand.

You make me understand that if I want to stay in here

I have to stay in here too.

When do we leave?

Now.

All those nights we slept together.

it's as if they never existed,

memory fades over time

until it disappears.

I no longer remember the colors of his eyes,

his face,

his smell.

There are two most useless feelings in life:

guilt for what happened

and anxiety for what could still happen.

Don't be overwhelmed by fear

but welcome it,

face it

and then let it go.

Not alone, though.

Together,

because together we are stronger.

Many of us live like failures

waiting for the right time to do something.

Leave now guys

from where you are, with what you have

and you will find better means along the way.

I too

was afraid of what I felt inside

but it is within us that we find what we need.

Now go.

At the end of the path there is a crossroads,

a sanctuary

and a road that leads to the town.

Follow it immediately

before it gets dark.

What are you waiting for?

Go,

there's no more time left.